Could use a little support - Al-Anon Family Group

Very Very Tired · Senior Member

Could use a little support

Lindaoakford · ~*Service Worker*~

I am sending you big hugs... a couple more snoring dogs, a massive cup of Chai tea to have with you and a calm chat.
That calm when they walk out is sooo nice isn't it.
I like the nice warm relaxed feeling in my gut adn the ability to breathe that came with it.
I used to turn the TV off,pop on some music and read my book....

In subsequent relationships I lost that as my abandonment issues hightened, but I remember that first relationship, that first time he walked out. I didnt' chase him at all.. it was just bliss.

Enjoy your night.. and I too am sorry its another one of them ones.

Very Very Tired · Senior Member

Linda, thank you. You captured my feelings well. That's it: the calm and quiet. The warm relaxed breath. Yes, I am a little shaken, but compared to the person I was (the one who actually has thrown myself at his feet crying and begging for him to stay), this is a miracle. No crying. No begging. Only a calm centeredness. And breathing.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((VVT)))...you did fine. It's okay to speak your heart and truth. You meant what you said and didn't say it mean. You didn't box your spirit in and then you expressed empathy and compassion and understanding with your son a younger victim of this sucking alcoholism. See if there is Alateen available for him or at least the literature which you may find at your Al-Anon meetings.

You done fine. Don't get in between his crash with the sidewalk. If he's allowed to feel all the pain without you trying to soften it for him he'll do better. Turn him over along with yourself and your son. HP's got very wide arms.

In support (((((hugs))))) smile

Very Very Tired · Senior Member

Thanks, Jerry. I'm really feeling my HP's arms tonight and reminding myself of what my sponsor tells me: my kids have an HP who loves them even more than I do.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Sending you love and support! I am glad to hear your son has you, keep up the good work!

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs VVT,

Sometimes you have to say what is in your heart and it's ok especially when you aren't expecting anything in return. You aren't looking for him to explain himself, you aren't looking for a magic fix. You spoke your truth and that says a LOT about the program you are working. I take a lot of strength in your shares. I'm so glad your son as you, because one solid grounded parent is far better than none.

You worked a wonderful program and I am so glad to share this journey with you!

Hugs P :)

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

(((VVT))) I'm sorry this happened, but it sounds to me like you handled it really well. Sending support your way.
Yes, alcoholism really DOES suck!

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

While you might be scared of what he's become - I'm proud of what you have become and and are still becoming! (corny - but true). All your posts are much more solution focused and you do not sound defeated and hopeless.

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

Youre response to your son was incredible. Does he go to ala teen?? just wondering. Youre working a great program. I can learn something from you. Thanks for sharing your journey, so sorry for your rough night, with you in support, HUGS.

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

alcoholism/addiction does SUCK!!!! Its hard for me to even be around casual drinking right now because of my anger.

danni · Senior Member

I just love how you responded to your son, and I love, despite the choices your husband made, how you really applied program and recovery to your night. Sending you support and understanding.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

yes it is nice when we finally find that serenity and detachment. He may walk out the door, but we have our foundation now.

My son was about your sons age when I had to get the RO on the A. I found getting him a motorcycle and fishing etc. really helped him. He focused on that.

you are a good mom. love,debilyn

Very Very Tired · Senior Member

Thanks all. I went to a new meeting this morning. My home meeting isn't for another couple of days. It was so nice just to be in a room with others who understand and freely give hugs. I didn't even have to say much. It was enough to say, "There was a crisis at our house last night and I needed a meeting." The room full of strangers all knew exactly what I was talking about. The angry texts from AH have started, some really nasty awful stuff. I respond enough so he knows the kids are safe. I keep my phone on silent and only look when I feel able to respond. We have been out of the house all day and AH is angry. I'm not sure what I'll go home to. I really don't want to go home. But I have to rest sometime. I'm exhausted. Working my program. Being kind to myself and the kids. Trying to remember I am not the things AH says I am. This to shall pass. Got my phone list and an awesome HP. Breathing.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.