The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am fairly new to AlAnon and just got home from a meeting about the second step. I shared my experience about my higher power and how my concept of that had changed over the years.
Now I am concerned that I can no longer be an AlAnon member because if I keep going to meetings I cannot share my truth.
Our group leader tonight shared after my sharing that she was told by her sponsor our higher power had to be something outside of oneself.
I shared that I had been meditating for ten years and had grown up always putting God outside of me. In those ten years time I found that God was inside me. Others shared God could be your group, or a light post or a teddy bear.
How do I reconcile this? How can I stay in AlAnon? Do I just not share my concept of God anymore? Otherwise I would feel a great loss of the strength I find in meetings. But I don't want to be a liar or disrespect the importance of the second step.
There is a part in the book Eat, Pray, Love where the main character is at an Indian ashram. She crafts a mantra for herself during mediatation: "God is in me, as me."
Of all the things I love about Al Anon, and all the ways it has totally transformed my life, the single best thing for me is "take what you like, leave the rest." Never once have I ever felt I should stop working the program because my opinions about this or that are not in line with the opinions of others.
Keep coming back. Keep working your program. You are worth it. Don't give up on these meetings. Or try different meetings. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Agapi, You are doing just fine . The alanon term is God as we understand Him. So that leaves us free to our own choices. Some say my higher power which is God.
I remember having that argument with my Dad once had been in AA for about 10 years. I said HP is me and I am HP.. and tried to explain what I meant by that.. My Higher Self, was the HP.... he argued that he used to believe he wsa his own god and that got him into trouble etc etc.
I stopped talking about it to him.
Could it be that you may have misinterpreted what she said, just as you have been misinterpreted?
You know that your HP is 'outside of you' but it is still inside of you also. She may not understand that concept.
I see this is a mis understanding and not a reason to discontinue discussing HP if it comes up in the meeting.
What other people think of me is none of my business. You dont' ahve to reconcile anything... it is what it is.
You go to Al Anon meetings to please yourself is that correct? I reckon continue to do that and keep going to please yourself. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Generally, we don't share what/who our personal belief about Higher power is... the goal of Step Two is to merely seek something Greater, "beyond our own abilities, a source of help, comfort, guidance, and strength unrestricted by our human limitations."
That leaves concepts wide open to us as individuals. When reading al-anon literature, we can notice.... it does not tell us what to believe.
I disagree with the idea that we go to meetings only for ourselves with the attitude, "Take what you like, leave the rest." It contradicts our first tradition regarding our common welfare, and unity of the group.... which comes FIRST. We don't come to al-anon to do whatever we want, we can't build a fellowship that way... the disease would LOVE THAT.
You just learned a lesson, sweetie, that's all. Keep your concept of Higher power to yourself, there is no "right" and no "wrong." This program is an enormous gift... a spiritual kit has been placed at your feet, please don't let this awkward incident scare you away. ((hugs))
-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 17th of February 2012 03:13:58 PM
-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 17th of February 2012 04:55:01 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I share your beliefs, I think, maybe, not certain.. My HP to me is all around and in everything, therefore he is inside me. When I pray, its inside me and outside me and all around. Just my beliefs. MY HP is everyone else's HP but their HPs may not be my HP if that makes sense. haha. whatever works works and that is what works for me. Keep going back. It is none of her business what your HP is to you and if you want to share about your spiritual growth you have every right to share about it, if you dont want to share, you have every right not to. As for you.. what she thinks of you is none of your business. I found a sponsor who shares similar.. not entirely the same, but similar beliefs and that helps me because i can share on the topic with her. she is very open to any and all beliefs as am I.. as long as its not in a damaging way or forcing something down someones throat. I dont like that but I do recognize that to each is own. take what you like.. if it works for you.. it works for me is what I believe. I LOVE step 2 and 3, I LOVE al-anon. I LOVE my HP and your HP and everyone's HP which is all the same HP but different HP's if you want to say they are... hahahha. I am rambling but I really feel happy right now. Keep coming back, you are welcome and loved.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Hi everyone, thank you for sharing. I appreciate the responses so much. I find so much value in Al Anon and the more I think on it it was an awkward crosstalk moment that maybe should have been addressed after the meeting rather than after my sharing. But hey it is all good, and it has affirmed my faith, not to the point that I have to be right but it definitely gave me pause to examine my deep HP feelings. I feel blessed and hope everyone has an awesome weekend! Thank you again.
