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Son dies of an overdose at 33
(Preview)
I just found this site and felt a need to post my story. I am in such pain. I am having a hard time digging myself out of this deep dark hole of despair. My son died aug 3 of an overdose or so I think. Autosepsy will not come back for another 2 months. His father and I have been dealing with his addiction to prescr...
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jaybirdsmother
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30
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1053
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What Makes Them Quit ?
(Preview)
My AH quit for almost 2 months now. I don't know what made him quit drinking but this year I really detached and started being happy. I just turned 50 was not going to live like I have, sad, depresses, angry about life all the time so on my weekends off I planned something went away stayed at a hotel with my mo...
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peacewithin
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5
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576
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At my labor day party...
(Preview)
Yes, my life has changed a lot over 4 years. I can be at parties with alcohol. I can even have parties with alcohol being served. Thankfully most of our friends don't drink much. Yesterday, 2 people got wasted drunk at our party. 1 of them worse than the other. I had to go of into the bedroom to regrou...
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pinkchip
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6
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573
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Email to my mother
(Preview)
Mom,
This is a difficult email to write.
I remember finding you passed out several times during my childhood. Once you were on the couch and for a moment I thought you were dead. I checked to see if you were breathing and after deciding you were alive I curled up at your feet and cried. I remember walkin...
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Anxioussockmonkey
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9
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519
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Fed up and ready to walk away!
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I have just joined this forum because I'm getting to my wits ends with my husband and his alcoholism. We've been married for a year now and together for three and a half. I knew about his drinking before we even began to date but had no idea how bad it was until much later in our relations...
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Inuyami
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8
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695
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GOD HELP ME
(Preview)
My sister's coming home from rehab on Tuesday after only a week. A WEEK! After three years of spending more time drunk than sober and with drinking so much a part of her routine, what the hell good is a week in rehab going to do? I fully expected her to start drinking as soon as she came home but I thought my ni...
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MadMax
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11
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675
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Should I be doing something???
(Preview)
I just don't know what I should or should'nt be doing. My A son stays in his room for days on end. I know he is depressed. I know he is an addict/alcoholic and needs help. I know I'm enabling him allowing him to live here, he is 26, doesn't work because of all the "side effects" of alcohol and d...
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Neesabean
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10
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741
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So Lost and Confused
(Preview)
My AH is on day 3 of his inpatient treatment center. On day two he called me saying he couldn't wait to get home and be the best husband ever and he was really enjoying the program. He kept going on and on and when I suggested he needed to work on himself and not worry about me or our marriage he went right back t...
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TrudyS85
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5
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556
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Sex/intimacy and the alc marriage
(Preview)
Could really use some thoughts...quick...husband is the alc, married 13 years. Sex life sucks...to me its just one more obligation ...to him its the world...aint that the way ladies. Hes had one affair...ive tried to move on..hes an active alc ... I try to cope....hes out 2_3times a week....to me, s...
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Theoceancalls
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20
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870
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In Limbo
(Preview)
Wondering today what have I actually accomplished. I left my relapsing AH who had actually done very little sobriety in the past year that things have really been bad. He has always drank too much (hidden much more than I even knew) and really went off the rails about 3 years ago. He has severe withdrawl...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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7
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651
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Boundaries
(Preview)
BoundariesThis is one issue that I have always suffered with. I was not taught to develop these boundaries so growing up I had none. Now the people around me get uncomfortable when I establish them. For an example o have been fighting with my girlfriend for the last couple of days over the fact that I d...
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LadyBug
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6
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769
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Need to vent my feelings, my mom has gone crazy
(Preview)
Hi everyone, A few day's ago my sis (who's account i am using now) posted a message about my dad who is really ill. But now my mom has gone crazy. She started calling me (really drunk) to tell me i needed to come over and stay the night with her in bed (yes the bed my dad almost died in) i refused. Now she is real...
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Theemettaart
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2
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566
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I really need some help. Crazy drunk mother. What to do.
(Preview)
Ok, new 1st post.
I'm 33. Grew up with alcoholic mother. I've been trying to break the cycle. I have been to therapy. I'm happily married and have three small children. I've never gotten into Al-non but I want desperately to understand and be able to cope with this problem. I want my children to have wha...
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Anxioussockmonkey
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2
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3488
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Detaching from addicted daughter
(Preview)
I'm new to the forum. I am reaching out for some kind of help. I have a daughter that is an addict and can be better at times. She continues to practice bad behavior and live a high risk life style with the people she choices to be around. I have drawn boundaries and am doing best I can with staying postitive....
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lisann09
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4
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1221
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Alcoholic childhood is brainwashing.
(Preview)
I've been searching the Internet reading posts. I think I'm starting to understand. I never could get why as the victim I needed to do a 12 step program. I feel like I'm just beginning to realize the brainwashing. I've got to keep my priorities straight. Protect my children from my mom's chaos. I've spe...
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Anxioussockmonkey
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6
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2813
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I'm off
(Preview)
Well I decided enough was enough! I left my AH on Friday night and we have decided that it's best to call time on our marriage. I'm going back to collect my things tomorrow. I'm on the road to recovery! It's going to be an up hill one but I think I have probably made the toughest decision already.
Thank you...
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Rosie77
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6
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474
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Not sure what to do- wdyt?
(Preview)
So anyone who has read my posts knows that I'm not in the best place right now. AH left the detox unit of a local psychiatric hospital six days ago. While he was in there I had taken out a temporary protective order against him to prevent him from being able to return to our home upon discharge, as he had re...
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holivex
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9
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717
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Monday Meeting
(Preview)
Where does this group hold it's meetings?
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tava
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5
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476
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MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG
(Preview)
I will be unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks
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shimo
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0
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359
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When is it time to say goodbye?
(Preview)
I so badly want peace and serenity in my life!!
How do you know when it's time to leave? Husband is an A and has no intention of getting help. He is actually a very sweet man and would never treat me poorly. He doesn't come home drunk anymore like he used to, he was a stumbling, getting sick, blackout d...
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Gracie 2
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11
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913
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Mental Disease and Forgiveness
(Preview)
I am the 23 year old daughter of an alcoholic addict. I had what I would describe as an extremely healthy, happy childhood, I would go so far as to say a typical middle class American experience, as long as my father was in town. Whenever he would spend a weekend away, my mother got drunk, and stayed drunk...
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California
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12
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892
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Doing well despite all of the bad
(Preview)
I haven't been here for a while, so I decided a little update was in order. My husband got out of the hospital (pancreatitis, infections in gall bladder and liver) 3 weeks ago tomorrow. He did not drink for 3 days, but then (unbeknownst to me) started again. He told me he was running an errand, and actuall...
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lnc12
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3
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535
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Can't Believe I Almost Fell For It Again
(Preview)
I have really avoided being around or talking on the phone with my relapsing AH since we separated about 3 weeks ago. I have read Getting Them Sober and the whole family has really taken a tough love stance with him. Well, the isolation must be starting to get to him because last night he called and sounde...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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8
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606
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For you
(Preview)
I hope everyone is doing well today. I ask that your HP will touch all your lives and give you the answers you have been looking for. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone. Hugs and more hugs. IP
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InspiredPhotography
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3
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452
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Update on marriage counseling
(Preview)
A few of the members here PM'ed me about wanting to know about my follow up appointment with the marriage therapist. He still thinks I should put behavioral requests upon AH but he also admitted that it would probably backfire? UGH! Like that was helpful. He was also trying to get me to see how AH con...
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ilovedogs
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3
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693
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Good Books
(Preview)
Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow and The Turmoil of Someone Elses drinking are great books on Amazon. Both were written by women who found themselves at Alanon's door. They both have tools to detach, get a life and get happy!!
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JJ21
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1
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402
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Our father
(Preview)
I also write this message in the name of my sister. Last sunday my father was hospitalized in critical condition. He was severly dehydrated, a bad infection in his lungs and severse signs of parkinsons disease. Last wednesday he suffered a minor hearth attack (while in hospital) and was rushed to the...
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Theemettaart
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1
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442
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Labor Day
(Preview)
Hello Friends, Wishes for a safe and peaceful Holiday....may you enjoy your family and friends. May you have sobriety in your holiday. Most of all may we all have hope and happiness....Happy Holiday! With Hope, Andrea
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Andrea12
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3
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489
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Was I wrong?
(Preview)
Just got a phone call from my AH ex-wife. She asked if I was getting the kids after work and I told her that I wasn't sure. Explained to her that he had started drinking again and I wanted to see how he was when I got home before I got the kids. That may have been wrong of me to tell his ex-wife that, but I don't wan...
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JAMIE74
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4
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599
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I'm new
(Preview)
Hello, I found this site by doing a search for "living with a dry drunk", and I am so glad I did. I was not familiar with the term "dry drunk" until my husband, the dry drunk himself, came home from a too infrequently attended AA meeting and said that's what the members called him. L...
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SarrainSecret
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7
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570
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don't know what to say but I will say it anyway!
(Preview)
I so don't what to say but I just want to hear myself type! I am full of one liners these days. I have to say what I am thinking w/o my filter. I am so grateful today. I have just sent an email to my cousin who is having trouble making ends meet. Me, I have trouble not making ends meet. I am so blessed w/ a lot of good...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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653
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AH not drinking, but in denial
(Preview)
Over the past few months, I guess that light finally went on that my husband was -for sure- an alcoholic. I have been trying to live in that reality and not fall victim to believing that he just likes beer- one of his many excuses. Well, a few weeks ago, he had a health thing come up- high blood pressure and...
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gracealone
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3
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656
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An ongoing amends
(Preview)
to any woman who was abused and/or assaulted by a man in the past. Aloha family...I went to the morning Attitude Adjustment AA meeting (I had the day off) and listen to the female speaker tell her story part of which is very very near and dear to my amends process; that of being violent and a physical, me...
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Jerry F
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12
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808
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Question
(Preview)
Two nights ago my sister went to rehab. While my niece and I are enjoying the peace and quiet, we aren't too optomistic. We've been through this twice before and we're all too aware of the dangers of getting our hopes up. My Dad's the one who convinced her to go and he lectured me on the importance of showin...
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MadMax
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10
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593
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Update: Relapse and my part
(Preview)
Hi Everyone again! I didn't say it with my last post, but I am GRATEFUL for your support, your feedback, and your kind honesty. I am making an effort to get back on this site more often. A recap, an update, and a couple of issues to discuss - My AH is still drinking, I think the relapse started around 6-8 we...
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KLotus
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4
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722
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A Pushka Story - OT (well sort of .. LOL)
(Preview)
Sooooo .. my old kitty passed away which leaves me with one old lady and a youngester that is going to be the death of me I swear. She is a nutcase. Well, it can be said she officially belongs in this house .. lol. I started to kind of panic because I haven't been able to find the old lady all day. I noticed l...
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Pushka
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6
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696
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Cautiously Optimistic
(Preview)
A son just left the house --- headed for his 1st AA meeting. After the incident where I had the police remove him from my home a couple of days ago, it took him one day to get over his anger (he had to walk 6 hrs to get home) then it took him another day to re-coop enough so he could walk on his sore legs. My heart...
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Path to Serenity
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10
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703
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First Time
(Preview)
So this is my first time on here and I have been reading your posts. My husband and I have only been married for 2 years. A week and a half ago I had to leave the apartment becuase he told me that he didn't want to have kids with me, he doesnt love me, he doesnt get anything from me anymore. And the reason why I...
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Looking4Hope1102
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3
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467
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He Is Going To Treatment
(Preview)
Well, my AH tried to kill himself on Tuesday and as of today has agreed to go to a 30 day in house treatment facility! I am so relieved. The psych ward told me today that when they evaluated him yesterday he started in with all his lies and manipulations and when they told him they has spoken to me and knew the...
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TrudyS85
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4
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594
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Starting over
(Preview)
I honestly don't know why I thought it would all be over after he went to inpatient and outpatient rehab, counseling and AA, which was almost a year ago. He did so good for most of that time with only a couple relapses with whiskey. They only lasted one night both times and the next day he was back on track...
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JAMIE74
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6
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779
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Having a rant!
(Preview)
It's very frustrating that people surrounding me at the moment can not see the drinker that is my husband!
his now trying to be more helpful around the house! I wonder who he has tried to convince that our marriage is going down the pan because I'm now doing things for me and not following him down to the p...
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Rosie77
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3
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492
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In court this morning
(Preview)
I made a choice to go to court to fight a massive bill I received for what amounts to an innocent mistake I made concerning the benefit rules. I suppose I want to get my feelings out here before I go this morning. I haven't defended myself in a courtroom since my divorce. I don't have a lawyer. I could hav...
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tiredtonite
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13
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669
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watching my daughter take a hard road (its killing me)
(Preview)
My AH is once again sober. Says this time is different becasue its his choice not mine. Im not under any delusion on this, he's not in treatment and its only been 3 wks. My daughter came over and was talking to both of us last night. Her fiance' has addiction problems with synthetic weed, he takes adderall...
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sweeetr
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5
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874
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Realization (WOW!!)
(Preview)
Since the kids have gone back to school two weeks ago. There has been no massive crisis in my life. I think it's been MONTHS now that I haven't had to deal with something regarding or related to my wasband. No wonder I'm detoxing at the moment it's shocking to think this .. it's no wonder this weekend hi...
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Pushka
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11
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764
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Al-non "buddies"
(Preview)
Does anyone on here every "buddyup"? maybe 2 ppl who have a lot in common, etc?
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gdmbm76
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2
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656
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Anxiety over relapse
(Preview)
I keep telling myself, "I should've gone last week, I should've found a meeting!" but the truth is when things are good they're REALLY good and when they're bad I'm too busy picking up the pieces to think twice about what I need to do for myself. I'm currently with my boyfriend who is an On Aga...
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Elisabet
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8
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9774
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Is it me??? Or him???
(Preview)
Have been with my boyfriend for 2 years (nearly) and recently he had to move into his brothers. We went out one night and it ended up pretty ugly (I'm no angel when I have a drink I must admit) and he has ended up with a 2 year probation order to help with his drinking and dodgy attitude towards me when drinkin...
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Palmski
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6
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644
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How do I deal with this nightmare depression
(Preview)
How do I deal with this alcohol problem that is killing me emotionally and financially. One month after I was married my husband was pulled over and jailed for his third DUI. I had no idea he had a record. He ended up getting 2 to 5 years in federal prison. We have been married for 6 yrs. now and it's getting w...
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gingerbread
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7
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591
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Need some TLC
(Preview)
Hi everyone -- Wow. I waited 8 mos from my last relationship to venture back onto the dating scene. Took alot of courage. Dated a friend of a friend...it's been a month. He invited me to his house, he wanted me to spend labor day weekend...now he is panicking...and decides he doesn't want to be in a relati...
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rehprof
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9
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637
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Random Thoughts. (before coffee .. lol)
(Preview)
I read ILD's post and Bettina's, Jackie's response just really resonated with me for a lot of reasons. That whole idea of waiting around for someone else to change issue. Maybe they will, maybe they won't the reality is what can be salvaged with the person when they become sober. Seriously speakin...
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Pushka
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13
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3604
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Just starting out
(Preview)
So I have been attending one Al-Anon meeting per week since May 3. I love my meeting home group and i just asked someone to sponsor me that actually said yes. Now i do not know where to start, I want to get into the steps asap but i do not know where to start. I have called my sponsor but the two of us are so busy...
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LadyBug
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5
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502
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Love Al Anon
(Preview)
I know I have only started Al Anon for a few short days. I can already feel the effects of having somewhere to go, reading others posts, and sharing. I wake up in the morning and I don't feel so down that (my A) is not interested in getting up and breaking the new day with me. Finally I am at peace with it. I can'...
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InspiredPhotography
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4
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433
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Short Notice RE: Tuesday Night's (tonight's) Alanon Meeting
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am so sorry for such short notice but, I am not able to Chair tonight''s Al-Anon Meeting in our Chat Room at 9PM. Family Emergency's are not able to be planned or anticipated... I am hoping someone may be able to step-up with their 12th step and offer to chair this meeting for me. If yo...
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lacewing
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4
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600
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Marriage counseling
(Preview)
So, AH and I went to couseling. This therapist is a recovering alcoholic, 30 years sober. He wanted me to place behavioral requests upon AH to prove that I can trust that he's not drinking now. He asked me what I wanted to see happen so that I can start trusting again and he kept pushing me to give an answ...
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ilovedogs
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4
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466
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A Little Share...
(Preview)
Update - My S/O had one last family day. He didn't know he had. Luckily he isn't fired. But that was, is, the last straw. He was told there is no more days. None. He is extremely lucky. So today, I went upstairs to get him up ask him nicely if he could help me out. We had company coming from out of town. He agree...
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InspiredPhotography
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1
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441
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My Serenity Weekend :)
(Preview)
Sorry so Long! But Good Stuff :) As Some May know Last Weekend, I had an ALL AL-Anon Weekend with Some of My Dear Lady Friends at My Camp on the River in the Woods! I have to say it was Amazing! I was Truly amazed that Everything... Went off without a Hitch! And We all have Memory's that will last a Life time! T...
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Jozie
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4
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692
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realized why I can't work(in a nutshell)
(Preview)
Reading some posts today. I guess I was just thinking about the last time I really worked & the fact that the stress caused me to walk off the job. Any applications I filled out it never dawned on me that I could not get another job because of my experience. I did however, ha! ha! thinking back; I did get...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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411
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Spotted tremors
(Preview)
I know my husband drinks everyday. He has been on holiday from work and this is his second week off. Yesterday morning I saw something which I had to take a double look at! The tremours!!! He had not been out if bed long! obviously he hadn't been getting enough alcahol in his system as his been at home and ha...
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Rosie77
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6
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470
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Doing it again
(Preview)
Help I'm having such a hard time detaching i know he has decide on what he wants recovery or not. I have to get better but why can't I detach I hang on every thing he says and I'm driving myself insane if he wants to leave hell leave I can't stop it . I read my books go to meetings I'm just tired of my old attitude s...
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Pipper
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4
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572
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In the hospital
(Preview)
Well, he finally tried to kill himself. My AH went into a tailspin, after I went to work he posted a goodbye on Facebook and turned the car on in the garage. Of course a friend saw and called 911. He is physically stable but angry , he is blaming me that I wouldn't talk to him last night. I tried talking to him l...
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TrudyS85
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8
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583
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