Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jerry F · Jerry F

Hey it works!! Haven't every paid enough attention to it and always responded in a trite way to it however I just got thru stripping one of my Rosemary bushes and got the oil all over my hands and now when I cup my nose with my hands I get this powerful wonderful aroma that overtakes any anxieties and worr...

Kismet · Kismet

My husband has been in rehab for 8 days now. I visited him on Sunday and he is so grateful to be there. After the first two days of 'gonna do what I need to do and go home', he has now realized that rehab is exactly where he needs to be, and he feels a spiritual connectedness that he has been searching for his who...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH wants to know, from me, how much he is going to have to change for me to continue working on repairing our marriage. I honestly don't have an answer for him so I guess I better brainstorm exactly what I want. For now, I know that he is frustrated that he can't drink in our state, at least that's how he put...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

The past week has been a living hell. My husband has started drinking hard liquor instead of beer. He is so delusional that it is scary. I found a butcher knife by the bed three mornings ago and then found it by the front door this morning. He wanted to call the police on our neighbor last night because h...

Mod · Mod

Trying to learn everything I can online about detachment because I think I have been enabling her. She was in the hospital for 3 days with dt's. While recovering, she said she definitely wanted to change and attend a treatment center. After i picked her up and brought her to our house, she stayed jus...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I woke up today and the first thing on my mind was Al Anon meeting! Success! I went online this morning and attended. It was very freeing listening and engaging in conversation without any judgement. Awesome! My S/O got up today and actually made breakfast! Yes it was nice. We all went to the library tod...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

Well, the police just left with my son. We had a talk (like we've had so many times) this morning about his drinking. I told him again that he was walking on thin ice by continuing to drink in my home after I had told him I would not tolerate it.....my home my rules. Have told him over and over that if he wan...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

It is funny I was thinking about all the behaviours of A. I am starting to learn that perhaps others exhibit those traits which I need to recongize? Not about me as a person but it is about their behaviour. Has anyone found once they started attending Al Anon meetings they were open to the possiblities th...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

This hasn't happened to anyone I know of, nor my AH.... but it just came up in conversation. What happens at an AA meeting if a member shows up drunk?

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

My S/O was warned he was on his last straw at his job. He texted me and said he doesn't want to work and left. As far as I know he has no days left. He already was told if he was late or anything he would be fired. I am sick to my stomach. Please pray for us. He threw away a phemonal job. Damnit! I won't be online for m...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I know I am supposed to mind my own business, but my AH is having troublesome medical issues and refuses to go the doctor. We went to the ER on Saturday because he had been in pain for a week, they determined it wasn't his heart and told him to see a GI doctor. Well, today he is saying he won't go to the doctor, h...

Amandakay · Amandakay

I am trying to deal with so many emotions right now. I have to give this situation to my HP every couple of minutes... the thoughts are haunting me at times, the what if and if onlys... I know I can't control or change anything. I am not helpless, but I am powerless. My 3 yo daughter made the disclosure to th...

JJ21 · JJ21

Well I just spent the last day n half in the hospital for tingling and numbness. They had to monitor me for a stroke!! Turns out my diabetes and blood pressure is worse. No doubt, trying to worry about everyone else. Since it is a "progressive disease", it is time for me to take care of me and scr...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

A son is binging again. Went out to lock up my pickup last nite that he's been using for work - he came home drunk & forgot. There in the floor of the truck was a freshly emptied vodka bottle - WOW, now he's progressed to driving drunk in MY vehicle!! That's a big no-no so I took his keys away & told...

peppermintnginger · peppermintnginger

I know that Al-Anon is not a religious organization, but I understand that an aknowledgement of a higher power is central to working the program. I do not want this to be a discussion of theological rights and wrongs. I'm trying to understand how I can fit my uncertain perspective of a higher power int...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so glad & thankful to those wonderful people who adjust the costs on lab reports. I was pleasantly surprised by the letter I got concerning the bill for my current lab reports to find out what is actually wrong w/ me. I got the letter in the mail on Sat. & was so happy to receive it. This sounds k...

Bailey1218 · Bailey1218

Hi I can't believe I'm the one writing a post about this, but I'm in a pretty bad place trying to figure things out. I think my husband is an alcoholic or at least on his way to be one. We've had a rough few years with infidelity, which happned prior to our 2 kids. This past January he found out the truth and his...

mrs sad and lonely · mrs sad and lonely

please, and what do you/they drink

jitsuka · jitsuka

I'm sitting here practising my detachment, keeping my boundaries. Step 1. My partner who is the A in my life came home, she popped upstairs. After we put dinner on she was upstairs again. At dinner time she was obviously UI. I hate these times. It seems like every day I am living this perpetual nightm...

MadMax · MadMax

I live with my alcoholic sister and my 10 year old niece. I want out more than anything in the world but I can't leave my niece there alone with her mother. I used to feel sorry for my sister and I tried to help her as best I could. She just drinks and lies and nothing changes. All I feel now is disgust and resent...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

I was doing some googling this morning & ran across some writings by a long-time AA member on Step #8 that touched my deeply so I thought I'd share a little. I've worked the 12steps in AA and Al-anon over the years but have discovered that the process never really ends. Having worked the 8th step to t...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I have heard that there are is a online session once a week. What time is that? Also I assume that my daughter would have to make up her own name? Or could she use mine and change the nick? I am not sure if she will post much with the fourms. The talking maybe a good thing for her though. Thanks (BTW she is 12 will...

mrs sad and lonely · mrs sad and lonely

i am mum of tree children, hubby off work due to depression has been yrs, now doesnt take his tablets, he drinkf from afternoon thru til bed sometime late afternoon, he has been known to call sexual lines and run up £1000s on phone bill i keep saying thats it enough now and he says no moe, but i cant get him to...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Sorry for all the questions.... Ok so I have started to attend the meetings, what next? I know I need to read books....what about sponser? I am kind of like a 4 year old starting JK and it's my first day of school. Awkward, scared and alittle excited. Help me out? :)

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, after finding the empty bottles last Monday my AH developed 'heartburn' and 8 days later and he is having intense pain in his esphogaus. We went to the ER on Sat and they said it wasn't his heart so sent us on our way to go see an internal doc. Well, if he was sour and negative before now it is just ridicu...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Can someone still be sick eventhough they have not used or drink in years? How does one completely recover? Does it go deeper then just stopping or quitting?

JJ21 · JJ21

Reading other posts and thinking of my own situation I am amazed and just blain baffeled by the selfishness of this disease. In the nine years of living with my husband drinking and dry drunking it he always tried to show me affection and concern. He always had a crisis we had to handle but was apprecia...

Bettina · Bettina

"To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives. We should practice a purer perception of them and when we speak of others, spea...

willowtree · willowtree

"If I'm over there in someone else's business... who's over here taking care of mine?"- Byron Katie I really loved this quote. To me it shows me how my life can become very unmanagable as soon as I am in someone else's buisness. Alanon and the sayings such as "Stay in your own hula-h...

catlady379 · catlady379

Hi. I am not sure how to do this except to just jump in. I am a mother of a teenage (19) son who is actively using. He has admitted to my husband and I that he is smoking marijuana and drinking. He has already been to rehab-about 2 years ago and they wanted him to enter into a halfway house and he stayed ther...

Pipper · Pipper

My ah tells me he doesn't know what he wants somedays he wants to e here other days he wants to move back to ny cause he feels comfortable there in the bars ..he was sober for 19 years and active about 3 now he's turning 50 and retiring from his job end of sept had plans to open his own bus and everything was supp...

TH · TH

My recovering ABF and I have been together for a year and a half. He is a wonderful man and a challenging man. He is about six years sober and worked a very rigorous program including counseling others for the first few years. He does not attend meetings now. We are now in the "dew but not the bloom...

Donna Lee · Donna Lee

The past two years have been the worst dealing with my alcoholic husband and enraged daughter. We both were caught in the lies and deception and my daughter has lost respect for me and my husband. We have done the gamut--had him arrested and jailed three times, court ordered out patient rehab (which...

JJ21 · JJ21

So the ex has decided to bombard me with texts today listing all his bills and how he can barely keep up and how he is just throwing everything out of the storage shed. I already told him to do this two months ago and then he conned me into paying it for one more month (when he has more money than me) so he could...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hi there. I am a mother of two beautiful young ladies. My S/O and I have been together for 5 years. He battles depression on an ongoing basis. Although I try to reach him he is very detached. We have good moments but often then not mostly are filled with confusion, pain and tears. I have tried to be a source o...

holivex · holivex

My AH is currently in the midst of his second hospitalization for detox in the past six weeks. The first time he went in was mid-July. He was discharged on the 18th and back to drinking by the 20th. I kicked him out of the house and haven't seen him (aside from a few hours on August 5th) since. He is curre...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So today is my Birthday:) My S/O is working. I know he has breaks inbetween, he hasn't bothered to text me. That is ok :) It would be nice, but not necessary. This am he got up and went right for his phone to check his Facebook. I started to hang up the laundry. He is like what? You aren't going to talk to me? Hon...

diane99 · diane99

Hello, I am new here and this is my first posting. My husband is a binge drinker and because of the trouble he has caused in the past with family and jobs, etc. he cannot live with the guilt. He can go for months without a drink, but I might say one wrong thing about the past and he is off on a binge again. I ha...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I am not sure what books to start with? My S/O isn't actively drinking, or using. He just has severe depression & some of the behaviours I have read (sounds like he exhibits an addict traits). Does that make sense? So the book Getting Them Sober ~ would I benefit from it? Can I order it online, or woul...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I have seen Online Meetings (email). Can someone explain what it is? What is it for?

ilovkevin · ilovkevin

Well next month will be 1 yr Kevin and I have been together. We truely feel like soul mates, the one thing I can trust is that we are really in love. In the begining of our relationship one of his best friends (Matt) from high school drove me 300 miles to visit Kevin. What happened was very distrubing and le...

tortuga · tortuga

Today I feel kind of helpless. My family left afetr 3 weeks visit, and several discussions and adressing problems related to alcohol, for which I'm glad, even though a realize it has been toug hon my parents. I sometimes feel guilty for being the only one speaking up in this family, all the other member...

guiltytwin · guiltytwin

Hi, Let me make a short introduction here. I'am a young woman who lives togehter with her boyfriend. I am also the daughter of 2 alcohol adicts. Both my parents are alcholics and are really doing bad. (i will not bore you with my difficult history and how they started drinking) Both my parents are i real...

erleichda · erleichda

I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I don't understand why in the year 2012 we are relying primarily on a program thought up a century ago. I can see the positive aspects of AA and Alanon, but most of those can be learned through other therapy. The slogans and prayer just remind me of faith healing...

suebama · suebama

I'm a newbie and have a lot to learn, but I think I may be picking up on some things, thanks to all y'all: 1. I need to concentrate on myself and not on him, 2. Who my AXH dates and what he does is none of my business and he's probably not as happy as I imagine him to be, 3. My life is worth living without him, 4....

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Hi again, Since things are getting worse with my (our) dad, he has been using pretty heavy medications. He is using Diazepam and Zaldiar ( a medication with tramadol included). Now both mecdications recommend not using any alchol what so ever. I have tried telling my mom about the use of alchol, beca...

JJ21 · JJ21

Went to a Co-dependents meeting last night and it was a little fun. They are lighter and focus on detachment from our own obsessive thoughts and worrying and needy people, which is a good thing. I was reading the book and the whole time I keep thinking (Oh this would work for so and so) lol. Classic examp...

Bettina · Bettina

"Love is the absence of Judgment". "The best relationship is one in which your love for eachother exceeds your need for each other."

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/p/reply/?topicID=50545019

JJ21 · JJ21

Went to an Alanon meeting tonight at a center where they also hold AA meetings. I'm in a large city so the meeting are large as well. I found it interesting that the men for the AA meetings were hanging out in front and flirting with all the women going into the Alanon meeting. My, thought was like don't...

tortuga · tortuga

Is it me or am I just being tried on or tested by the A? I wake up, i'm happy, because I'm being me. I chat with the A, and in 2 seconds out of the blue, he manges to have turned the conversation on about alcohol, his desire to drink and a final sentence 'you don't respect my feelings, you try to make me sad, you wa...

LMar · LMar

This is my first time here, so please bare with me. My common law husband is addicted to pain killers for a little more than 3 yrs now. Finally he went to rehab, a 21 day program at an amazing house.He came out positive and seemed to have a new lease on life. He's been home a week and as been acting like he has be...

freeagain · freeagain

I am ending a relationship I have had for about 5 months. I am so addicted to this guy. I recognise this about me. I have actually been super aware of MY character defects through out. But it hasn't made it any easier. At all. He isnt an alcoholic but he def has issues and isms. And here's why i am so addicted....

Doozy · Doozy

Hi All, I haven't been posting much for quite a while, but I have been reading often. I just wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to the WONDERFUL people on this board. I can't even tell you how much I have learned here and how much you have helped me. It's amazing. We may never know each other'...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So I started school for my RN last week and can see I will have to put all my extra energy into my school work to keep my GPA up to keep my financial aid. The boyfriend and I are doing great and are having many adventures and I finally feel like I am living and out of my head more than ever. My exAH has been strug...

pineapple · pineapple

..the next few days is going to be tough. My A is finally leaving, moving back with family. Of course my emotions are all over the place. But right now I'm just trying to get through the next few days. I've tried to get him to start packing, he shows no interest, says he doesn't need anything. For awhile he h...

rehprof · rehprof

In a weird way, time has proven me to be right about my ex-A. I have always felt judged by his family...as if I was making up the degree to which his behavior was a problem...and his sisters still insist that he is doing okay when they talk to me. Then there is reality. He talked to me briefly the other day abo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, i shared how my ex abf has not had a drink for over a weak and I let him stay here while sorts himself out. Thanks for your ESH on this lots of objectivity and clarity. I have helped so much over the years and now I have had my own pace for about six months I have gain serenity and grown alot. I had a talk wi...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are signs of having to remain strong for too long. Did you know 1 in 3 of us go through this at some point in our lives? Would you post this on your wall for at least one day? Most people won't but it's Mental Health Awareness Week. S...

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Hi there, My (twin) sister (quiltytwin) told me about this messageboard, so thanks to my sister! Well as she has written, both our parents are severe alcholics. They are now to that point that they are in a really bad situation. They are (in my opinion) at point of no- return. Well to make a long story sh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Aroma Therapy... (Preview) Hey it works!! Haven't every paid enough attention to it and always responded in a trite way to it however I just got thru stripping one of my Rosemary bushes and got the oil all over my hands and now when I cup my nose with my hands I get this powerful wonderful aroma that overtakes any anxieties and worr...	Jerry F	6	487	Aug 29, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Feeling insecure (Preview) My husband has been in rehab for 8 days now. I visited him on Sunday and he is so grateful to be there. After the first two days of 'gonna do what I need to do and go home', he has now realized that rehab is exactly where he needs to be, and he feels a spiritual connectedness that he has been searching for his who...	Kismet	7	596	Aug 29, 2012 by Lost in Delaware
	AH wants to know how much change is he going to have to make? (Preview) AH wants to know, from me, how much he is going to have to change for me to continue working on repairing our marriage. I honestly don't have an answer for him so I guess I better brainstorm exactly what I want. For now, I know that he is frustrated that he can't drink in our state, at least that's how he put...	ilovedogs	12	595	Aug 29, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Stick a fork in me, I am DONE! (Preview) The past week has been a living hell. My husband has started drinking hard liquor instead of beer. He is so delusional that it is scary. I found a butcher knife by the bed three mornings ago and then found it by the front door this morning. He wanted to call the police on our neighbor last night because h...	almostgivenup	13	607	Aug 29, 2012 by Elisabet
	Daughter just released yesterday from hospital after suffering severe alcohol withdrawal. (Preview) Trying to learn everything I can online about detachment because I think I have been enabling her. She was in the hospital for 3 days with dt's. While recovering, she said she definitely wanted to change and attend a treatment center. After i picked her up and brought her to our house, she stayed jus...	Mod	2	310	Aug 28, 2012 by canadianguy
	Day 1! (Preview) I woke up today and the first thing on my mind was Al Anon meeting! Success! I went online this morning and attended. It was very freeing listening and engaging in conversation without any judgement. Awesome! My S/O got up today and actually made breakfast! Yes it was nice. We all went to the library tod...	InspiredPhotography	4	265	Aug 28, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Really rough evening (Preview) Well, the police just left with my son. We had a talk (like we've had so many times) this morning about his drinking. I told him again that he was walking on thin ice by continuing to drink in my home after I had told him I would not tolerate it.....my home my rules. Have told him over and over that if he wan...	Path to Serenity	7	458	Aug 28, 2012 by Neesabean
	"A" people around you (even friends, co-workers, etc) (Preview) It is funny I was thinking about all the behaviours of A. I am starting to learn that perhaps others exhibit those traits which I need to recongize? Not about me as a person but it is about their behaviour. Has anyone found once they started attending Al Anon meetings they were open to the possiblities th...	InspiredPhotography	2	324	Aug 28, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	I have a random / strange question to ask... (Preview) This hasn't happened to anyone I know of, nor my AH.... but it just came up in conversation. What happens at an AA meeting if a member shows up drunk?	ELEKTRAWMN	6	488	Aug 28, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Prayers Needed (Preview) My S/O was warned he was on his last straw at his job. He texted me and said he doesn't want to work and left. As far as I know he has no days left. He already was told if he was late or anything he would be fired. I am sick to my stomach. Please pray for us. He threw away a phemonal job. Damnit! I won't be online for m...	InspiredPhotography	8	304	Aug 28, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Won't Get Medical Attention (Preview) I know I am supposed to mind my own business, but my AH is having troublesome medical issues and refuses to go the doctor. We went to the ER on Saturday because he had been in pain for a week, they determined it wasn't his heart and told him to see a GI doctor. Well, today he is saying he won't go to the doctor, h...	TrudyS85	9	485	Aug 28, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	First Things First... (Preview) I am trying to deal with so many emotions right now. I have to give this situation to my HP every couple of minutes... the thoughts are haunting me at times, the what if and if onlys... I know I can't control or change anything. I am not helpless, but I am powerless. My 3 yo daughter made the disclosure to th...	Amandakay	4	442	Aug 28, 2012 by Amandakay
	Time for Me and my Progressive Disease (Preview) Well I just spent the last day n half in the hospital for tingling and numbness. They had to monitor me for a stroke!! Turns out my diabetes and blood pressure is worse. No doubt, trying to worry about everyone else. Since it is a "progressive disease", it is time for me to take care of me and scr...	JJ21	6	526	Aug 28, 2012 by glad lee
	Excuse me while I whine (Preview) A son is binging again. Went out to lock up my pickup last nite that he's been using for work - he came home drunk & forgot. There in the floor of the truck was a freshly emptied vodka bottle - WOW, now he's progressed to driving drunk in MY vehicle!! That's a big no-no so I took his keys away & told...	Path to Serenity	8	666	Aug 28, 2012 by Donna Lee
	Having trouble with the HP concepts (Preview) I know that Al-Anon is not a religious organization, but I understand that an aknowledgement of a higher power is central to working the program. I do not want this to be a discussion of theological rights and wrongs. I'm trying to understand how I can fit my uncertain perspective of a higher power int...	peppermintnginger	10	485	Aug 28, 2012 by peppermintnginger
	thanks to those who adjust lab reports! (Preview) I am so glad & thankful to those wonderful people who adjust the costs on lab reports. I was pleasantly surprised by the letter I got concerning the bill for my current lab reports to find out what is actually wrong w/ me. I got the letter in the mail on Sat. & was so happy to receive it. This sounds k...	Hoot Nanny	4	322	Aug 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	How to determine if it's alcoholism (Preview) Hi I can't believe I'm the one writing a post about this, but I'm in a pretty bad place trying to figure things out. I think my husband is an alcoholic or at least on his way to be one. We've had a rough few years with infidelity, which happned prior to our 2 kids. This past January he found out the truth and his...	Bailey1218	5	505	Aug 28, 2012 by Oksie
	i am on here as i think hubby is a alcoholic but how much do your other halfs drink or you if its you your on here for (Preview) please, and what do you/they drink	mrs sad and lonely	5	442	Aug 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Practising my detachment. Sitting here. (Preview) I'm sitting here practising my detachment, keeping my boundaries. Step 1. My partner who is the A in my life came home, she popped upstairs. After we put dinner on she was upstairs again. At dinner time she was obviously UI. I hate these times. It seems like every day I am living this perpetual nightm...	jitsuka	3	367	Aug 28, 2012 by jennfire
	Just venting (Preview) I live with my alcoholic sister and my 10 year old niece. I want out more than anything in the world but I can't leave my niece there alone with her mother. I used to feel sorry for my sister and I tried to help her as best I could. She just drinks and lies and nothing changes. All I feel now is disgust and resent...	MadMax	5	299	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	3 Powerful Words (Preview) I was doing some googling this morning & ran across some writings by a long-time AA member on Step #8 that touched my deeply so I thought I'd share a little. I've worked the 12steps in AA and Al-anon over the years but have discovered that the process never really ends. Having worked the 8th step to t...	Path to Serenity	10	728	Aug 27, 2012 by Jozie
	Alateen (Preview) I have heard that there are is a online session once a week. What time is that? Also I assume that my daughter would have to make up her own name? Or could she use mine and change the nick? I am not sure if she will post much with the fourms. The talking maybe a good thing for her though. Thanks (BTW she is 12 will...	InspiredPhotography	1	211	Aug 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Please help me (Preview) i am mum of tree children, hubby off work due to depression has been yrs, now doesnt take his tablets, he drinkf from afternoon thru til bed sometime late afternoon, he has been known to call sexual lines and run up £1000s on phone bill i keep saying thats it enough now and he says no moe, but i cant get him to...	mrs sad and lonely	16	618	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Program & Sponser (Preview) Sorry for all the questions.... Ok so I have started to attend the meetings, what next? I know I need to read books....what about sponser? I am kind of like a 4 year old starting JK and it's my first day of school. Awkward, scared and alittle excited. Help me out? :)	InspiredPhotography	4	230	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Is My Life Just Comedy For My HP? (Preview) Well, after finding the empty bottles last Monday my AH developed 'heartburn' and 8 days later and he is having intense pain in his esphogaus. We went to the ER on Sat and they said it wasn't his heart so sent us on our way to go see an internal doc. Well, if he was sour and negative before now it is just ridicu...	TrudyS85	4	417	Aug 27, 2012 by Tracy
	Question (Preview) Can someone still be sick eventhough they have not used or drink in years? How does one completely recover? Does it go deeper then just stopping or quitting?	InspiredPhotography	5	305	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Selfishness and the disease (Preview) Reading other posts and thinking of my own situation I am amazed and just blain baffeled by the selfishness of this disease. In the nine years of living with my husband drinking and dry drunking it he always tried to show me affection and concern. He always had a crisis we had to handle but was apprecia...	JJ21	7	742	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	More wisdom from the Dali Lama (Preview) "To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives. We should practice a purer perception of them and when we speak of others, spea...	Bettina	1	291	Aug 27, 2012 by hotrod
	minding my own buisness- yup, I'm doin it one day at a time! (Preview) "If I'm over there in someone else's business... who's over here taking care of mine?"- Byron Katie I really loved this quote. To me it shows me how my life can become very unmanagable as soon as I am in someone else's buisness. Alanon and the sayings such as "Stay in your own hula-h...	willowtree	4	366	Aug 27, 2012 by Pushka
	my addicted son (Preview) Hi. I am not sure how to do this except to just jump in. I am a mother of a teenage (19) son who is actively using. He has admitted to my husband and I that he is smoking marijuana and drinking. He has already been to rehab-about 2 years ago and they wanted him to enter into a halfway house and he stayed ther...	catlady379	5	539	Aug 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	Tired of the games (Preview) My ah tells me he doesn't know what he wants somedays he wants to e here other days he wants to move back to ny cause he feels comfortable there in the bars ..he was sober for 19 years and active about 3 now he's turning 50 and retiring from his job end of sept had plans to open his own bus and everything was supp...	Pipper	5	334	Aug 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	Loving a recovering ABF (Preview) My recovering ABF and I have been together for a year and a half. He is a wonderful man and a challenging man. He is about six years sober and worked a very rigorous program including counseling others for the first few years. He does not attend meetings now. We are now in the "dew but not the bloom...	TH	5	431	Aug 26, 2012 by tiredtonite
	How to start believing spouse again? (Preview) The past two years have been the worst dealing with my alcoholic husband and enraged daughter. We both were caught in the lies and deception and my daughter has lost respect for me and my husband. We have done the gamut--had him arrested and jailed three times, court ordered out patient rehab (which...	Donna Lee	22	643	Aug 27, 2012 by Donna Lee
	Not engaging and Not reacting (Preview) So the ex has decided to bombard me with texts today listing all his bills and how he can barely keep up and how he is just throwing everything out of the storage shed. I already told him to do this two months ago and then he conned me into paying it for one more month (when he has more money than me) so he could...	JJ21	3	422	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	New Here (Preview) Hi there. I am a mother of two beautiful young ladies. My S/O and I have been together for 5 years. He battles depression on an ongoing basis. Although I try to reach him he is very detached. We have good moments but often then not mostly are filled with confusion, pain and tears. I have tried to be a source o...	InspiredPhotography	7	512	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	I'm so lonely (Preview) My AH is currently in the midst of his second hospitalization for detox in the past six weeks. The first time he went in was mid-July. He was discharged on the 18th and back to drinking by the 20th. I kicked him out of the house and haven't seen him (aside from a few hours on August 5th) since. He is curre...	holivex	8	551	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Just Ranting (Preview) So today is my Birthday:) My S/O is working. I know he has breaks inbetween, he hasn't bothered to text me. That is ok :) It would be nice, but not necessary. This am he got up and went right for his phone to check his Facebook. I started to hang up the laundry. He is like what? You aren't going to talk to me? Hon...	InspiredPhotography	3	243	Aug 27, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Need new ways of coping when alcoholic husband comes back (Preview) Hello, I am new here and this is my first posting. My husband is a binge drinker and because of the trouble he has caused in the past with family and jobs, etc. he cannot live with the guilt. He can go for months without a drink, but I might say one wrong thing about the past and he is off on a binge again. I ha...	diane99	7	379	Aug 26, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	What Books Do you Recommend? (Preview) I am not sure what books to start with? My S/O isn't actively drinking, or using. He just has severe depression & some of the behaviours I have read (sounds like he exhibits an addict traits). Does that make sense? So the book Getting Them Sober ~ would I benefit from it? Can I order it online, or woul...	InspiredPhotography	4	452	Aug 26, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Online Meetings (Preview) I have seen Online Meetings (email). Can someone explain what it is? What is it for?	InspiredPhotography	4	245	Aug 26, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	I am in the very begining of being willing to be honest that my fiance is an alcoholic, I really need help! (Preview) Well next month will be 1 yr Kevin and I have been together. We truely feel like soul mates, the one thing I can trust is that we are really in love. In the begining of our relationship one of his best friends (Matt) from high school drove me 300 miles to visit Kevin. What happened was very distrubing and le...	ilovkevin	2	547	Aug 26, 2012 by Kate123
	jealousy towards alcohol. (Preview) Today I feel kind of helpless. My family left afetr 3 weeks visit, and several discussions and adressing problems related to alcohol, for which I'm glad, even though a realize it has been toug hon my parents. I sometimes feel guilty for being the only one speaking up in this family, all the other member...	tortuga	5	613	Aug 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	In need of help (Preview) Hi, Let me make a short introduction here. I'am a young woman who lives togehter with her boyfriend. I am also the daughter of 2 alcohol adicts. Both my parents are alcholics and are really doing bad. (i will not bore you with my difficult history and how they started drinking) Both my parents are i real...	guiltytwin	5	470	Aug 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Is there any real help out there for this disease? (Preview) I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I don't understand why in the year 2012 we are relying primarily on a program thought up a century ago. I can see the positive aspects of AA and Alanon, but most of those can be learned through other therapy. The slogans and prayer just remind me of faith healing...	erleichda	22	628	Aug 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Am I getting close? (Preview) I'm a newbie and have a lot to learn, but I think I may be picking up on some things, thanks to all y'all: 1. I need to concentrate on myself and not on him, 2. Who my AXH dates and what he does is none of my business and he's probably not as happy as I imagine him to be, 3. My life is worth living without him, 4....	suebama	10	538	Aug 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Medications and alcohol (Preview) Hi again, Since things are getting worse with my (our) dad, he has been using pretty heavy medications. He is using Diazepam and Zaldiar ( a medication with tramadol included). Now both mecdications recommend not using any alchol what so ever. I have tried telling my mom about the use of alchol, beca...	Theemettaart	3	410	Aug 26, 2012 by rehprof
	Classic Co-Dependent Move (Preview) Went to a Co-dependents meeting last night and it was a little fun. They are lighter and focus on detachment from our own obsessive thoughts and worrying and needy people, which is a good thing. I was reading the book and the whole time I keep thinking (Oh this would work for so and so) lol. Classic examp...	JJ21	3	378	Aug 26, 2012 by Tigger
	"Words of the Dali Lama" (Preview) "Love is the absence of Judgment". "The best relationship is one in which your love for eachother exceeds your need for each other."	Bettina	6	616	Aug 25, 2012 by hotrod
	TRADITION 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/p/reply/?topicID=50545019	hotrod	0	255	Aug 25, 2012 by hotrod
	Alanon/AA Meeting (Preview) Went to an Alanon meeting tonight at a center where they also hold AA meetings. I'm in a large city so the meeting are large as well. I found it interesting that the men for the AA meetings were hanging out in front and flirting with all the women going into the Alanon meeting. My, thought was like don't...	JJ21	6	456	Aug 25, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Starting arguments out of the blue??? (Preview) Is it me or am I just being tried on or tested by the A? I wake up, i'm happy, because I'm being me. I chat with the A, and in 2 seconds out of the blue, he manges to have turned the conversation on about alcohol, his desire to drink and a final sentence 'you don't respect my feelings, you try to make me sad, you wa...	tortuga	9	675	Aug 25, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Confused and Lost (Preview) This is my first time here, so please bare with me. My common law husband is addicted to pain killers for a little more than 3 yrs now. Finally he went to rehab, a 21 day program at an amazing house.He came out positive and seemed to have a new lease on life. He's been home a week and as been acting like he has be...	LMar	5	425	Aug 25, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	so addicted (Preview) I am ending a relationship I have had for about 5 months. I am so addicted to this guy. I recognise this about me. I have actually been super aware of MY character defects through out. But it hasn't made it any easier. At all. He isnt an alcoholic but he def has issues and isms. And here's why i am so addicted....	freeagain	4	419	Aug 25, 2012 by freeagain
	Appreciation! (Preview) Hi All, I haven't been posting much for quite a while, but I have been reading often. I just wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to the WONDERFUL people on this board. I can't even tell you how much I have learned here and how much you have helped me. It's amazing. We may never know each other'...	Doozy	3	318	Aug 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	Update; New life and trying not to get involved with the exAH and his drama (Preview) So I started school for my RN last week and can see I will have to put all my extra energy into my school work to keep my GPA up to keep my financial aid. The boyfriend and I are doing great and are having many adventures and I finally feel like I am living and out of my head more than ever. My exAH has been strug...	Breakingfree	5	316	Aug 25, 2012 by Debilyn
	Getting through (Preview) ..the next few days is going to be tough. My A is finally leaving, moving back with family. Of course my emotions are all over the place. But right now I'm just trying to get through the next few days. I've tried to get him to start packing, he shows no interest, says he doesn't need anything. For awhile he h...	pineapple	4	278	Aug 25, 2012 by Debilyn
	The Physical Costs of the Disease (Preview) In a weird way, time has proven me to be right about my ex-A. I have always felt judged by his family...as if I was making up the degree to which his behavior was a problem...and his sisters still insist that he is doing okay when they talk to me. Then there is reality. He talked to me briefly the other day abo...	rehprof	4	361	Aug 25, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	my recovery. (Preview) Hi all, i shared how my ex abf has not had a drink for over a weak and I let him stay here while sorts himself out. Thanks for your ESH on this lots of objectivity and clarity. I have helped so much over the years and now I have had my own pace for about six months I have gain serenity and grown alot. I had a talk wi...	Tracy	0	307	Aug 24, 2012 by Tracy
	Mental Health Awareness Week (Preview) Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are signs of having to remain strong for too long. Did you know 1 in 3 of us go through this at some point in our lives? Would you post this on your wall for at least one day? Most people won't but it's Mental Health Awareness Week. S...	Peggy7	2	300	Aug 24, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	This is me (Preview) Hi there, My (twin) sister (quiltytwin) told me about this messageboard, so thanks to my sister! Well as she has written, both our parents are severe alcholics. They are now to that point that they are in a really bad situation. They are (in my opinion) at point of no- return. Well to make a long story sh...	Theemettaart	1	252	Aug 24, 2012 by All I can be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.