The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So the ex has decided to bombard me with texts today listing all his bills and how he can barely keep up and how he is just throwing everything out of the storage shed. I already told him to do this two months ago and then he conned me into paying it for one more month (when he has more money than me) so he could get some some things and sell the rest. I agreed to pay because he said he would pay for the divorce and I wanted him to mail me a couple of gifts from my son , but that's a joke.
He is over whelmed that he doesn't know how to manage money and instead of learning how insists on taking no responsibility and blaming me. Maybe if he staid out of the bar he might be able to pay his bills and DUI fines.
I know that negative attention is still attention and I'm not responding even though I could tell him an earful, I know this just keeps me involved with him somehow and what he does is none of my business even when he chooses to try and blame me. As soon as I seen the texts my first response was to text back - I'm sorry - Why am I sorry becuase he is a screw up. I guess part of me feels bad that he stored all our stuff in the hopes that we would get back together after I left even though I mainly paid the bill. Problem is we are 6 hours apart and it cost too much to move the stuff - not worth it any more and since we are not getting back together - his choice - he is the one that has to physcially go and throw our belongings out. I don't know if I that was wrong to do that but I cant afford to go there and move it myself. I know if I had to empty the shed it would hurt me since it's throwing away our marriage and our last tie to each other.
Regardless, I am not responding nor am I texting back even though I would love to tell him a few things............. I do not have to engage!!! I hope I have the strenght to keep my resolve.
You can do it!! I have found that if I do respond or want to defend myself that a text or letter is better. Conversations tend to end up going in circles.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G Llewellyn
Funny my counsellor told me the same thing. DO no engage in his behaviour! LOL. I am starting to realize. I wished I would have went to Al Anon meetings along with seeing my counsellor. I would have benefit so much from it.
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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)
