Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

one_moment · one_moment

I just recently was blessed by finding this site. Although I am currently in a program, I feel all the extra understanding is huge in my ability to "live and let live". At this stage of my life I am unable to live one day at a time, so I'm living hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. I guess a...

mtk746 · mtk746

Hi - I just found this board today and am looking for help for myself, not for my fiance. We've been together for two years and our wedding will be next August. I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he just "likes to drink" or he "needs to relax". But after anoth...

sassycat · sassycat

So I hope this is appropriate for this forum. I'm just looking for some ideas. My husband is an alcoholic/adict. He's unemployed and doed not have is own savings or income. When he relapses he will steal my money. I cannot keep credit or debit cards because he will use them. Cash of course is easy to steal...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I'm an AA member, just started going to Al-Anon meetings because of lingering adult child issues I have yet to resolve and I do know AlAnon is for ACAs also. I'm debating getting a therapist to go over these issues because after all this time, I'm still not over a lot of it. The childhood issues can be so ov...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I feel like I should be baking him a cake or getting him a gift, it's what I did when I was seperated from him last year before the divorce was final. I know I won't and haven't, but what a true codependent I am. I have a program and I work it diligently, but for some reason his birthday coming is bringing me bac...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I've been seeking guidance from HP Started reading getting them sober vol one Getting my toes stepped on so I know I'm getting a message He wants me to get. Sadness and frustration seem to be getting better and I'm finding myself more productive again as a parent, spouse and person ! To my MIP family t...

Diva · Diva

Today, December 4th, my little poodle is running against a kitty cat to win the day's Cat vs Dog competition. Please go to WCIU.com, click on the contests and give Looi your vote. Thanks. I am busy getting ready to have family for Christmas, and I am so excited. Trying to get everything done so the hou...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh vey! We had our pre-Christmas domestic melt-down this week. Had our alanon meeting tonight and thankfully the home front was back in shape by then. Glad that the programme works for me day by day. Our group has a steady membership of five, with visitors sometimes. Our group was in recess fpr abo...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I loved this, when I first came to Al-Anon I kept wanting to know why, and this reading is so very true! Pg 339 "Some of us come to Al-Anon to find out why the alcoholic drinks. We're afraid it's because "he doesn't love me anymore" or because something we have doneor are doing is upsettin...

Jackie Z · Jackie Z

I have been a reader of all the message board and decided it is time to share ESH and stop just being a receiver of all this support. I just went through a breakup with my A BF after a 3 year relationship. My story is my husband died 14 years ago and this was my 1st relationship after his death. He is the father...

Geo · Geo

The alcoholic is addicted to and obsessed with one more drink. I am addicted to and obsessed with one less drink. This is why I need Al-Anon. Geo

John · John

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t51579198/needing-support/

z28lt1gurl · z28lt1gurl

So a little while ago I recieved a text message from mom saying she was sorry and she is ok and wondering if she can come get her phone charger and medication in the morning. She also said she is going to AA mettings in the afternoons. I hope this is true because she needs help. At least for today I know she is o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know you all care cause I can feel your prescence when I write anything on here. I feel supported & loved. I am just wondering just how much you can all relate to my posts. I am trying so hard to fit in these days because I am feeling crazy! I still & will always have bipolar disorder. I hope somehow...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I was told once I should attend a open AA meeting. There is one tonight down the street. Think I should go and listen? It's so heartbreaking to see someone with a addiction so maybe it would be good for me to see some in recovery....I don't know In need right now Cathy

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey guys, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of months I have found myself losing a lot of interest in the usual social activities I used to partake in and the people who would participate.Seeing them and meeting up with them now seems like a chore because it i...

Katey_S · Katey_S

I'm not even sure how to begin a post like this, because it's something I never thought I would have to do. I've been with my fiancee, Greg, for 4 years now. We have been engaged for just under four months. Greg grew up in a very dysfunctional household and his parents were rarely around, leaving him ab...

Zimmy · Zimmy

ok guys need some help. my abf who doesnt live with me and my son as some of you may have read previously had to leave due to violence due to increasing blackout drinking. Boundries set, dont come to the house under the influence. We have had a few hicups but stuck to my ground. Anyways on friday night h...

z28lt1gurl · z28lt1gurl

Well my husband and I were all set to talk to my mom yesterday. However through the couse of the day I realized she had taken all her stuff and wasn't planning on comming back. However, she had no where else to go. My brother drove by her mothers house to see if she went there. (My grandmother has demtia and i...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

Hello all, I'm writing if nothing else to share. My daughter lost her job yesterday. A very good job that enabled her at 22 to buy her own home and a new car. She's been very out of control since the summer with things escalating to today. In July she stole a friend of hers mother's car to drive two hours...

HDOT · HDOT

Hello. So my mother has been an alcoholic (high functioning) for as long as I can remember. My sisters and I were raised to enable her and keep her secret. When approached, she would become defensive and deny any wrong doing. Every couple of years my father would have an "intervention"...

Shunned · Shunned

On the advice of my therapist I started going to al-anon. I never tried going before because I mistakenly assumed it was only for people whose parents are, or were, alcoholics. She explained to me that in fact it is for anyone who grew up in a very dysfucntional environment and who needs to learn the skil...

Pushka · Pushka

Monday is court and all this came about because of a different court date that is coming in 2 weeks. He is being such a jerk it's not funny. The last text I have responded to is actually about a week ago. He had the last two statements in it and I am way way way ok .. the harrassment is mind blowing. It facin...

lnc12 · lnc12

I haven't been on here in quite some time. I could make a ton of excuses, but I'm not. Just laziness I guess! lol Last time I posted something, I was in a very depressed state. I had been seperated from AH for just 2 weeks. I left our house in Aug., because I found out that he started drinking again after being...

z28lt1gurl · z28lt1gurl

So tonight I realized just how much my mother drinks. Here is the story. She has been an alcoholic for years. She almost died three years ago from it and quit drinking and was very healthy. The begining of this year I was diagnosed with cancer and that is when her spiral began. My brother and I began notici...

RSanders · RSanders

I'm at my wits end with my mother lately. I'm a 23 year old guy and I recently moved home due to some financial issues and losing my job. When I was living on my own with my friends in an apartment, my mother was sober for a WHOLE YEAR. I thought her issues with alcoholism were over. Little did I know.. I moved b...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So I had a major breakdown last night. The last two weeks have not been great for several reasons, not all the alcoholism. Last night the wife cracks open bottle one and we watch some TV. I was majorly stressed and the fact that she was there drinking didn't help. Well, I suggest we get in our hot tub (t...

cinders · cinders

Found in my email this am a copy of the preliminary divorce documents from AH. Thought I had been doing ok till that showed up. I know I reacted badly, sent back the email to him with a few words chosen too quickly. I am not going to beat myself up over what I had to say about it. My heart is broken and I was s...

elizabeth_t · elizabeth_t

Hello, I just joined these forums a moment ago and hoped to share my current scenario to seek insight from others who understand: I am a "young adult" who lived with an alcoholic father until my parents separation thirteen years ago. Since then, my father has struggled to stay sober. I...

Danilani · Danilani

Hi there, I am new to this board. My husband has 170 days of sobriety. He went to a rehab facility, and has been doing great, attending meetings daily, even speaking at local rehabilitation facilities. I am 100% supportive, and proud of him. However, I have found that recently my resentments are sett...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51768610/4-th-step-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 2nd of December 2012 07:16:39 PM

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have read lots of books and have gotten good at detaching and living my life regardless of his choices. It seems he has taken this change in me as a chance to get worse ..(give an inch take a mile) It stinks that I am married and go to all (even his side) of family functions, kids events, and holidays alone....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I think I'm working my program, but why do I feel so stressed when setting boundries and staying firm with them. I hate to have to have any contact with my A's. always some drama or dysfuction goin on. Every time I show them any kindness, they come on full force, and I have to detach physically, emotion...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have been having a hard time with myself. AH is doing what he does. But I can't seem to be happy anymore. I'm reading and turning to HP but the feeling of depression and sadness keep coming over me. I'm laying in bed while he sleeps next to me and I couldn't feel more alone if I were stranded in the desert. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know if I wanna laugh or cry? I am still waiting to get more results & one more blood test. It kills me to go thru all this w/o a final result! I want to laugh, makes sense to me. What can I do but put up w/ some of this nonsense & just shake it off. I am so saddened by this time of year & occasion...

Lyne · Lyne

I don't know how to protect myself anymore except for shutting down towards my A spouse. I think about separating all the time but won't be able to do it until finances change in a year or two. I don't hate her~in fact I feel very sorry for her. She is workin working on her latest lie and I have already caug...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Hi all, It's been awhile since I was last here, but I've popped in here and there when things are at their worst, just to feel like there was some sense of hope out there for me - for people like us in our situation. I've started to go back to face-to-face meetings - have found one that I really like that I'll g...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi to All, I come to this board infrequently these days. I'm happily living with my recovering AH. I realize that he might tumble off the wagon any time, any day, however. So my happiness is not a result of his sobriety, but of my realization of many truths. I practice a lot of what I learned from th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone Today is the real start of my recovery in regards to my son. He is now completely out of money and no way to pay rent. He called sober and asked about disability and if I could help him apply. I don't know what he's thinking but I just said I know nothing about it and he would have to do the work h...

sweeetr · sweeetr

... found more bottles and smoke stuff.... he apparently tried to "come clean" with the truth (after confronted) and said hes goin down wrong path and is stoppin so plz be patient, he's been using excuses to leave the house and drinks enough to black out is why the things I found were here.....

redandblack · redandblack

My husband and me have been seperated for eight months and he promises to get help everytime we talk but still has not even started to get help. I have three children 16, 17, and 20 and a 15 month old granddaughter who is my heaven. He says he misses us so much and wants to come home but I will not and can not all...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang... if my records are correct, Friday marks the one year anniversary of the sudden passing of RLC (Rodney), one of our most cherished members on MIP.... Thought it might be a nice idea to open a thread to share some thoughts or memories of your dealings with Rodney, to help us all keep his spirit...

et1 · et1

hi im new and cannot find my way around this site to talk to people

Catm005 · Catm005

Hello, I am a mother of 3 and married for 10 years. I can say the last 2 years of our lives have been devasting to say the least. My husband's drinking became unbearable. We seperated for 8 months then he decided to go to rehab. After much consideration we decided to have him back home once his 30 days was don...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

Hello all, I spoke with my AH yesterday. I intended to tell him it was over (again) and that I would be filing for divorce. He is in another state working right now. Somehow, he dragged me into an argument about how I was at fault, too, and that I was the reason he drank/drinks. I chose to engage mostly becau...

becca223 · becca223

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, but have only been married for one. Now, I know when I let this all out some of you may bash me for some of the things I'm going to say, but please don't, it's not going to help any. My husband is 44 years old, and I'm 23. We have 2 children together and one on the wa...

RSanders · RSanders

Hey everyone, so I've come to this board after pacing back and forth about 5 times from my car to the driveway of a church where an al-anon meeting was at in my neighborhood. I felt very timid and anxious toward entering the meeting as a 23 year old guy by myself. I had a fear of going in and feeling alienated...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.The other day a member shared with me some very kind words. One of the things they mentioned after hearing my story was that it sounded as though I had been emotionally abandoned at a very young age when a young man is just coming into...

glad lee · glad lee

My Tuesday night meeting this week had a speaker, an amazing elderly old-timer. At the end of her talk, she gave us all a copy of her favorite prayer from our al-anon book, As We Understood, and she read it at the table. Everyone who subsequently shared, expressed how moved and peaceful they felt, in...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH and I were in marriage counseling yesterday and AH has determined that I officially have married my father. Of course, just recently my 14 year old told me that he thought his dad was fat, lazy, and stubborn and I remember thinking the same things about my dad, too. Hmm, what a coincidence. UGH!...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a greatful member of al-anon. I decided that I want to foster a cat from the humane society in an effort to gain some companionship in my apartment. It will provide me with some companionship and another heartbeat in the apartment. I had a cat when I was younger...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I have been with my alcoholic husband for about 10 years. I knew he had a problem when we married but I was in denial about how serious it was. He has put me through so much. He can be so wonderful when sober but I have not seen that side of him in awhile. The past few months he has been really out of control. I don...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, have not posted for a bit, but still been working on my recovery. I am working step five at the moment in a step group, My hp has me in his arms its not easy but it is about time. I really feel like i am doing some good work and believ it will be worth it in the end. My A is sober a moment but only attending 1 m...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better and worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved. They can act as catalysts, activating parts of ourselves that need...

tikster823 · tikster823

Good morning everyone, I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in Februa...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped. Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all Like in the last post I had my son over for Thanksgiving and was a very good day for both of us. But now I think I opened a can of worms because he is calling me every day. He might be drinking but of course he says he isn't. I know he's scared and will want me to help him soon and I also scared for him. I...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I just threw him out, again....Well, out of the house I now rent while he lives in our home. I kept my boundary and when he showed up stinking drunk---I made him leave....I feel awful, ....he cried. I know he sits home everyday...has food delivered and only goes out if he has to. I am trying to date again, a...

Auntyaya · Auntyaya

I am no longer w/ my AH of 30 years He has been sober for about 2 yrs.....our daughter is being married in 2013 and we are splitting the cost of the wedding. He has made 3 requests...to walk her down the aisle, to make a toast (he asked that she "trust" him to do that hummmm), and to do the father dau...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	thank you (Preview) I just recently was blessed by finding this site. Although I am currently in a program, I feel all the extra understanding is huge in my ability to "live and let live". At this stage of my life I am unable to live one day at a time, so I'm living hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. I guess a...	one_moment	6	313	Dec 5, 2012 by maryjane
	End of denial - my fiance is an alcoholic (Preview) Hi - I just found this board today and am looking for help for myself, not for my fiance. We've been together for two years and our wedding will be next August. I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he just "likes to drink" or he "needs to relax". But after anoth...	mtk746	7	889	Dec 5, 2012 by scaredandconfused
	Protecting money? (Preview) So I hope this is appropriate for this forum. I'm just looking for some ideas. My husband is an alcoholic/adict. He's unemployed and doed not have is own savings or income. When he relapses he will steal my money. I cannot keep credit or debit cards because he will use them. Cash of course is easy to steal...	sassycat	9	612	Dec 5, 2012 by Pushka
	Should i get a therapist? (Preview) I'm an AA member, just started going to Al-Anon meetings because of lingering adult child issues I have yet to resolve and I do know AlAnon is for ACAs also. I'm debating getting a therapist to go over these issues because after all this time, I'm still not over a lot of it. The childhood issues can be so ov...	AlAnonDave	9	880	Dec 4, 2012 by Pushka
	It's the exAH's birthday tomorrow and...... (Preview) I feel like I should be baking him a cake or getting him a gift, it's what I did when I was seperated from him last year before the divorce was final. I know I won't and haven't, but what a true codependent I am. I have a program and I work it diligently, but for some reason his birthday coming is bringing me bac...	Breakingfree	4	389	Dec 4, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Gettin toes stepped on (Preview) I've been seeking guidance from HP Started reading getting them sober vol one Getting my toes stepped on so I know I'm getting a message He wants me to get. Sadness and frustration seem to be getting better and I'm finding myself more productive again as a parent, spouse and person ! To my MIP family t...	sweeetr	5	430	Dec 4, 2012 by sweeetr
	Off the topic...but please read...it's fun. (Preview) Today, December 4th, my little poodle is running against a kitty cat to win the day's Cat vs Dog competition. Please go to WCIU.com, click on the contests and give Looi your vote. Thanks. I am busy getting ready to have family for Christmas, and I am so excited. Trying to get everything done so the hou...	Diva	4	302	Dec 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Resolutions... plans and dreams... (Preview) Oh vey! We had our pre-Christmas domestic melt-down this week. Had our alanon meeting tonight and thankfully the home front was back in shape by then. Glad that the programme works for me day by day. Our group has a steady membership of five, with visitors sometimes. Our group was in recess fpr abo...	DavidG	3	649	Dec 4, 2012 by DavidG
	One Day at A Time Dec 4 (Preview) I loved this, when I first came to Al-Anon I kept wanting to know why, and this reading is so very true! Pg 339 "Some of us come to Al-Anon to find out why the alcoholic drinks. We're afraid it's because "he doesn't love me anymore" or because something we have doneor are doing is upsettin...	Jackie11	1	472	Dec 4, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Time to talk the Truth about Relationship (Preview) I have been a reader of all the message board and decided it is time to share ESH and stop just being a receiver of all this support. I just went through a breakup with my A BF after a 3 year relationship. My story is my husband died 14 years ago and this was my 1st relationship after his death. He is the father...	Jackie Z	4	503	Dec 4, 2012 by Zimmy
	Profound thought just popped into my head while half asleep this morning...... (Preview) The alcoholic is addicted to and obsessed with one more drink. I am addicted to and obsessed with one less drink. This is why I need Al-Anon. Geo	Geo	7	392	Dec 4, 2012 by glad lee
	VENTING with Graditude! (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t51579198/needing-support/	John	7	565	Dec 4, 2012 by Pushka
	Some good news today. (Preview) So a little while ago I recieved a text message from mom saying she was sorry and she is ok and wondering if she can come get her phone charger and medication in the morning. She also said she is going to AA mettings in the afternoons. I hope this is true because she needs help. At least for today I know she is o...	z28lt1gurl	2	335	Dec 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I know you all care! (Preview) I know you all care cause I can feel your prescence when I write anything on here. I feel supported & loved. I am just wondering just how much you can all relate to my posts. I am trying so hard to fit in these days because I am feeling crazy! I still & will always have bipolar disorder. I hope somehow...	Hoot Nanny	4	393	Dec 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Going to a AA meeting (Preview) Good Morning I was told once I should attend a open AA meeting. There is one tonight down the street. Think I should go and listen? It's so heartbreaking to see someone with a addiction so maybe it would be good for me to see some in recovery....I don't know In need right now Cathy	Cathyinaz	6	423	Dec 4, 2012 by maryjane
	What's happening to me? (Preview) Hey guys, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of months I have found myself losing a lot of interest in the usual social activities I used to partake in and the people who would participate.Seeing them and meeting up with them now seems like a chore because it i...	slogan_jim	7	622	Dec 3, 2012 by Jerry F
	I think my fiancee has a problem, not sure what to do. (Preview) I'm not even sure how to begin a post like this, because it's something I never thought I would have to do. I've been with my fiancee, Greg, for 4 years now. We have been engaged for just under four months. Greg grew up in a very dysfunctional household and his parents were rarely around, leaving him ab...	Katey_S	8	439	Dec 4, 2012 by Geo
	Dont know if im being resentful...or just sticking to my boundries?? (Preview) ok guys need some help. my abf who doesnt live with me and my son as some of you may have read previously had to leave due to violence due to increasing blackout drinking. Boundries set, dont come to the house under the influence. We have had a few hicups but stuck to my ground. Anyways on friday night h...	Zimmy	6	612	Dec 3, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Two days later and still lost...now literally. (Preview) Well my husband and I were all set to talk to my mom yesterday. However through the couse of the day I realized she had taken all her stuff and wasn't planning on comming back. However, she had no where else to go. My brother drove by her mothers house to see if she went there. (My grandmother has demtia and i...	z28lt1gurl	2	421	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Daughter lost her job-then called at 2:45 a.m. (Preview) Hello all, I'm writing if nothing else to share. My daughter lost her job yesterday. A very good job that enabled her at 22 to buy her own home and a new car. She's been very out of control since the summer with things escalating to today. In July she stole a friend of hers mother's car to drive two hours...	Afraidparent	7	613	Dec 3, 2012 by Afraidparent
	Need Advice (Preview) Hello. So my mother has been an alcoholic (high functioning) for as long as I can remember. My sisters and I were raised to enable her and keep her secret. When approached, she would become defensive and deny any wrong doing. Every couple of years my father would have an "intervention"...	HDOT	4	355	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I'm SO grateful to have found Al-Anon! (Preview) On the advice of my therapist I started going to al-anon. I never tried going before because I mistakenly assumed it was only for people whose parents are, or were, alcoholics. She explained to me that in fact it is for anyone who grew up in a very dysfucntional environment and who needs to learn the skil...	Shunned	5	579	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Zimmy you got me thinking!! (Preview) Monday is court and all this came about because of a different court date that is coming in 2 weeks. He is being such a jerk it's not funny. The last text I have responded to is actually about a week ago. He had the last two statements in it and I am way way way ok .. the harrassment is mind blowing. It facin...	Pushka	4	412	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Been a while! (Preview) I haven't been on here in quite some time. I could make a ton of excuses, but I'm not. Just laziness I guess! lol Last time I posted something, I was in a very depressed state. I had been seperated from AH for just 2 weeks. I left our house in Aug., because I found out that he started drinking again after being...	lnc12	4	299	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to the boards and freaking out a little (Preview) So tonight I realized just how much my mother drinks. Here is the story. She has been an alcoholic for years. She almost died three years ago from it and quit drinking and was very healthy. The begining of this year I was diagnosed with cancer and that is when her spiral began. My brother and I began notici...	z28lt1gurl	8	463	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I need to get away.. (Preview) I'm at my wits end with my mother lately. I'm a 23 year old guy and I recently moved home due to some financial issues and losing my job. When I was living on my own with my friends in an apartment, my mother was sober for a WHOLE YEAR. I thought her issues with alcoholism were over. Little did I know.. I moved b...	RSanders	4	461	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Breakdown last night (Preview) So I had a major breakdown last night. The last two weeks have not been great for several reasons, not all the alcoholism. Last night the wife cracks open bottle one and we watch some TV. I was majorly stressed and the fact that she was there drinking didn't help. Well, I suggest we get in our hot tub (t...	hdftby100	7	558	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Reality hitting close to home (Preview) Found in my email this am a copy of the preliminary divorce documents from AH. Thought I had been doing ok till that showed up. I know I reacted badly, sent back the email to him with a few words chosen too quickly. I am not going to beat myself up over what I had to say about it. My heart is broken and I was s...	cinders	4	498	Dec 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How do I Accept an Offer of Help From an Alcoholic Parent? (Preview) Hello, I just joined these forums a moment ago and hoped to share my current scenario to seek insight from others who understand: I am a "young adult" who lived with an alcoholic father until my parents separation thirteen years ago. Since then, my father has struggled to stay sober. I...	elizabeth_t	11	525	Dec 3, 2012 by Sarah325
	Wife of a recovering alcoholic.. need advice (Preview) Hi there, I am new to this board. My husband has 170 days of sobriety. He went to a rehab facility, and has been doing great, attending meetings daily, even speaking at local rehabilitation facilities. I am 100% supportive, and proud of him. However, I have found that recently my resentments are sett...	Danilani	6	1281	Dec 3, 2012 by maryjane
	4 TH STEP (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51768610/4-th-step-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 2nd of December 2012 07:16:39 PM	hotrod	0	300	Dec 2, 2012 by hotrod
	the better I get the worse he gets ?? (Preview) I have read lots of books and have gotten good at detaching and living my life regardless of his choices. It seems he has taken this change in me as a chance to get worse ..(give an inch take a mile) It stinks that I am married and go to all (even his side) of family functions, kids events, and holidays alone....	sweeetr	3	586	Dec 2, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Trying to let go of the stress!! (Preview) I think I'm working my program, but why do I feel so stressed when setting boundries and staying firm with them. I hate to have to have any contact with my A's. always some drama or dysfuction goin on. Every time I show them any kindness, they come on full force, and I have to detach physically, emotion...	Highlyfavored	2	380	Dec 2, 2012 by Pushka
	Hard time with me (Preview) I have been having a hard time with myself. AH is doing what he does. But I can't seem to be happy anymore. I'm reading and turning to HP but the feeling of depression and sadness keep coming over me. I'm laying in bed while he sleeps next to me and I couldn't feel more alone if I were stranded in the desert. I...	sweeetr	2	386	Dec 2, 2012 by Tracey C
	I don't know if I wanna laugh, or cry! (Preview) I don't know if I wanna laugh or cry? I am still waiting to get more results & one more blood test. It kills me to go thru all this w/o a final result! I want to laugh, makes sense to me. What can I do but put up w/ some of this nonsense & just shake it off. I am so saddened by this time of year & occasion...	Hoot Nanny	0	491	Dec 1, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	numbness feels awful (Preview) I don't know how to protect myself anymore except for shutting down towards my A spouse. I think about separating all the time but won't be able to do it until finances change in a year or two. I don't hate her~in fact I feel very sorry for her. She is workin working on her latest lie and I have already caug...	Lyne	7	538	Dec 2, 2012 by Lyne
	Need advice: A book for him? (Preview) Hi all, It's been awhile since I was last here, but I've popped in here and there when things are at their worst, just to feel like there was some sense of hope out there for me - for people like us in our situation. I've started to go back to face-to-face meetings - have found one that I really like that I'll g...	ladysoblue	7	499	Dec 1, 2012 by ladysoblue
	There Is Always Hope (Preview) Hi to All, I come to this board infrequently these days. I'm happily living with my recovering AH. I realize that he might tumble off the wagon any time, any day, however. So my happiness is not a result of his sobriety, but of my realization of many truths. I practice a lot of what I learned from th...	GailMichelle	5	484	Dec 1, 2012 by glad lee
	Now the work starts (Preview) Hi everyone Today is the real start of my recovery in regards to my son. He is now completely out of money and no way to pay rent. He called sober and asked about disability and if I could help him apply. I don't know what he's thinking but I just said I know nothing about it and he would have to do the work h...	Cathyinaz	7	556	Dec 1, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	broken boundaries (Preview) ... found more bottles and smoke stuff.... he apparently tried to "come clean" with the truth (after confronted) and said hes goin down wrong path and is stoppin so plz be patient, he's been using excuses to leave the house and drinks enough to black out is why the things I found were here.....	sweeetr	7	411	Dec 1, 2012 by Pushka
	How do you deal with the loneliness when your husband will not get help and you refuse to let him come home without it? (Preview) My husband and me have been seperated for eight months and he promises to get help everytime we talk but still has not even started to get help. I have three children 16, 17, and 20 and a 15 month old granddaughter who is my heaven. He says he misses us so much and wants to come home but I will not and can not all...	redandblack	7	491	Dec 1, 2012 by redandblack
	RLC - one year ago.... (Preview) Hi gang... if my records are correct, Friday marks the one year anniversary of the sudden passing of RLC (Rodney), one of our most cherished members on MIP.... Thought it might be a nice idea to open a thread to share some thoughts or memories of your dealings with Rodney, to help us all keep his spirit...	canadianguy	12	568	Dec 1, 2012 by wp
	how do i find the chat for 9pm tonight for the meeting, i've been trying to find it to wait there for people (Preview) hi im new and cannot find my way around this site to talk to people	et1	1	347	Dec 1, 2012 by wp
	Husband back home from rehab (Preview) Hello, I am a mother of 3 and married for 10 years. I can say the last 2 years of our lives have been devasting to say the least. My husband's drinking became unbearable. We seperated for 8 months then he decided to go to rehab. After much consideration we decided to have him back home once his 30 days was don...	Catm005	4	531	Dec 1, 2012 by Flame
	Moving On From A Long, Toxic Marriage (Preview) Hello all, I spoke with my AH yesterday. I intended to tell him it was over (again) and that I would be filing for divorce. He is in another state working right now. Somehow, he dragged me into an argument about how I was at fault, too, and that I was the reason he drank/drinks. I chose to engage mostly becau...	TryingToChange	3	608	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	He doesnt agree... but I know otherwise (Preview) My husband and I have been together for 5 years, but have only been married for one. Now, I know when I let this all out some of you may bash me for some of the things I'm going to say, but please don't, it's not going to help any. My husband is 44 years old, and I'm 23. We have 2 children together and one on the wa...	becca223	8	466	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hello, new to the board! (Preview) Hey everyone, so I've come to this board after pacing back and forth about 5 times from my car to the driveway of a church where an al-anon meeting was at in my neighborhood. I felt very timid and anxious toward entering the meeting as a 23 year old guy by myself. I had a fear of going in and feeling alienated...	RSanders	4	557	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Emotional abandonment through alcoholism (share) (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.The other day a member shared with me some very kind words. One of the things they mentioned after hearing my story was that it sounded as though I had been emotionally abandoned at a very young age when a young man is just coming into...	slogan_jim	11	3911	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	As we Understood (Preview) My Tuesday night meeting this week had a speaker, an amazing elderly old-timer. At the end of her talk, she gave us all a copy of her favorite prayer from our al-anon book, As We Understood, and she read it at the table. Everyone who subsequently shared, expressed how moved and peaceful they felt, in...	glad lee	3	3313	Nov 30, 2012 by Tracy
	I married my father (Preview) My AH and I were in marriage counseling yesterday and AH has determined that I officially have married my father. Of course, just recently my 14 year old told me that he thought his dad was fat, lazy, and stubborn and I remember thinking the same things about my dad, too. Hmm, what a coincidence. UGH!...	ilovedogs	7	535	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My Higher power at work :) (Preview) Hey everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a greatful member of al-anon. I decided that I want to foster a cat from the humane society in an effort to gain some companionship in my apartment. It will provide me with some companionship and another heartbeat in the apartment. I had a cat when I was younger...	slogan_jim	10	732	Nov 30, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Am I doing the right thing by turning him in? (Preview) I have been with my alcoholic husband for about 10 years. I knew he had a problem when we married but I was in denial about how serious it was. He has put me through so much. He can be so wonderful when sober but I have not seen that side of him in awhile. The past few months he has been really out of control. I don...	scaredandconfused	9	639	Nov 30, 2012 by TryingToChange
	working on me about time (Preview) Hi all, have not posted for a bit, but still been working on my recovery. I am working step five at the moment in a step group, My hp has me in his arms its not easy but it is about time. I really feel like i am doing some good work and believ it will be worth it in the end. My A is sober a moment but only attending 1 m...	Tracy	3	356	Nov 30, 2012 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change - 30 November 2012 (Preview) Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better and worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved. They can act as catalysts, activating parts of ourselves that need...	Tracey C	1	290	Nov 30, 2012 by Tracey C
	Newbie Needs Book Recommendations (Preview) Good morning everyone, I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in Februa...	tikster823	4	495	Nov 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change - 29 November 2012 (Preview) Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped. Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had...	Tracey C	1	484	Nov 29, 2012 by sweeetr
	Opened a can of worms (Preview) Hi all Like in the last post I had my son over for Thanksgiving and was a very good day for both of us. But now I think I opened a can of worms because he is calling me every day. He might be drinking but of course he says he isn't. I know he's scared and will want me to help him soon and I also scared for him. I...	Cathyinaz	7	538	Nov 29, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	He is drinking again (Preview) It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think...	Cathyinaz	3	751	Nov 29, 2012 by Tracy
	I just threw him out, again (Preview) I just threw him out, again....Well, out of the house I now rent while he lives in our home. I kept my boundary and when he showed up stinking drunk---I made him leave....I feel awful, ....he cried. I know he sits home everyday...has food delivered and only goes out if he has to. I am trying to date again, a...	alexmaui	3	485	Nov 29, 2012 by hdftby100
	Daughters wedding (Preview) I am no longer w/ my AH of 30 years He has been sober for about 2 yrs.....our daughter is being married in 2013 and we are splitting the cost of the wedding. He has made 3 requests...to walk her down the aisle, to make a toast (he asked that she "trust" him to do that hummmm), and to do the father dau...	Auntyaya	4	313	Nov 29, 2012 by Auntyaya
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.