Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have read lots of books and have gotten good at detaching and living my life regardless of his choices. It seems he has taken this change in me as a chance to get worse ..(give an inch take a mile) It stinks that I am married and go to all (even his side) of family functions, kids events, and holidays alone....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I think I'm working my program, but why do I feel so stressed when setting boundries and staying firm with them. I hate to have to have any contact with my A's. always some drama or dysfuction goin on. Every time I show them any kindness, they come on full force, and I have to detach physically, emotion...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have been having a hard time with myself. AH is doing what he does. But I can't seem to be happy anymore. I'm reading and turning to HP but the feeling of depression and sadness keep coming over me. I'm laying in bed while he sleeps next to me and I couldn't feel more alone if I were stranded in the desert. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know if I wanna laugh or cry? I am still waiting to get more results & one more blood test. It kills me to go thru all this w/o a final result! I want to laugh, makes sense to me. What can I do but put up w/ some of this nonsense & just shake it off. I am so saddened by this time of year & occasion...

Lyne · Lyne

I don't know how to protect myself anymore except for shutting down towards my A spouse. I think about separating all the time but won't be able to do it until finances change in a year or two. I don't hate her~in fact I feel very sorry for her. She is workin working on her latest lie and I have already caug...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Hi all, It's been awhile since I was last here, but I've popped in here and there when things are at their worst, just to feel like there was some sense of hope out there for me - for people like us in our situation. I've started to go back to face-to-face meetings - have found one that I really like that I'll g...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi to All, I come to this board infrequently these days. I'm happily living with my recovering AH. I realize that he might tumble off the wagon any time, any day, however. So my happiness is not a result of his sobriety, but of my realization of many truths. I practice a lot of what I learned from th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone Today is the real start of my recovery in regards to my son. He is now completely out of money and no way to pay rent. He called sober and asked about disability and if I could help him apply. I don't know what he's thinking but I just said I know nothing about it and he would have to do the work h...

sweeetr · sweeetr

... found more bottles and smoke stuff.... he apparently tried to "come clean" with the truth (after confronted) and said hes goin down wrong path and is stoppin so plz be patient, he's been using excuses to leave the house and drinks enough to black out is why the things I found were here.....

redandblack · redandblack

My husband and me have been seperated for eight months and he promises to get help everytime we talk but still has not even started to get help. I have three children 16, 17, and 20 and a 15 month old granddaughter who is my heaven. He says he misses us so much and wants to come home but I will not and can not all...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang... if my records are correct, Friday marks the one year anniversary of the sudden passing of RLC (Rodney), one of our most cherished members on MIP.... Thought it might be a nice idea to open a thread to share some thoughts or memories of your dealings with Rodney, to help us all keep his spirit...

et1 · et1

hi im new and cannot find my way around this site to talk to people

Catm005 · Catm005

Hello, I am a mother of 3 and married for 10 years. I can say the last 2 years of our lives have been devasting to say the least. My husband's drinking became unbearable. We seperated for 8 months then he decided to go to rehab. After much consideration we decided to have him back home once his 30 days was don...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

Hello all, I spoke with my AH yesterday. I intended to tell him it was over (again) and that I would be filing for divorce. He is in another state working right now. Somehow, he dragged me into an argument about how I was at fault, too, and that I was the reason he drank/drinks. I chose to engage mostly becau...

becca223 · becca223

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, but have only been married for one. Now, I know when I let this all out some of you may bash me for some of the things I'm going to say, but please don't, it's not going to help any. My husband is 44 years old, and I'm 23. We have 2 children together and one on the wa...

RSanders · RSanders

Hey everyone, so I've come to this board after pacing back and forth about 5 times from my car to the driveway of a church where an al-anon meeting was at in my neighborhood. I felt very timid and anxious toward entering the meeting as a 23 year old guy by myself. I had a fear of going in and feeling alienated...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.The other day a member shared with me some very kind words. One of the things they mentioned after hearing my story was that it sounded as though I had been emotionally abandoned at a very young age when a young man is just coming into...

glad lee · glad lee

My Tuesday night meeting this week had a speaker, an amazing elderly old-timer. At the end of her talk, she gave us all a copy of her favorite prayer from our al-anon book, As We Understood, and she read it at the table. Everyone who subsequently shared, expressed how moved and peaceful they felt, in...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH and I were in marriage counseling yesterday and AH has determined that I officially have married my father. Of course, just recently my 14 year old told me that he thought his dad was fat, lazy, and stubborn and I remember thinking the same things about my dad, too. Hmm, what a coincidence. UGH!...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a greatful member of al-anon. I decided that I want to foster a cat from the humane society in an effort to gain some companionship in my apartment. It will provide me with some companionship and another heartbeat in the apartment. I had a cat when I was younger...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I have been with my alcoholic husband for about 10 years. I knew he had a problem when we married but I was in denial about how serious it was. He has put me through so much. He can be so wonderful when sober but I have not seen that side of him in awhile. The past few months he has been really out of control. I don...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, have not posted for a bit, but still been working on my recovery. I am working step five at the moment in a step group, My hp has me in his arms its not easy but it is about time. I really feel like i am doing some good work and believ it will be worth it in the end. My A is sober a moment but only attending 1 m...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better and worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved. They can act as catalysts, activating parts of ourselves that need...

tikster823 · tikster823

Good morning everyone, I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in Februa...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped. Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all Like in the last post I had my son over for Thanksgiving and was a very good day for both of us. But now I think I opened a can of worms because he is calling me every day. He might be drinking but of course he says he isn't. I know he's scared and will want me to help him soon and I also scared for him. I...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I just threw him out, again....Well, out of the house I now rent while he lives in our home. I kept my boundary and when he showed up stinking drunk---I made him leave....I feel awful, ....he cried. I know he sits home everyday...has food delivered and only goes out if he has to. I am trying to date again, a...

Auntyaya · Auntyaya

I am no longer w/ my AH of 30 years He has been sober for about 2 yrs.....our daughter is being married in 2013 and we are splitting the cost of the wedding. He has made 3 requests...to walk her down the aisle, to make a toast (he asked that she "trust" him to do that hummmm), and to do the father dau...

cinders · cinders

I have found that i am entering in to another one of the many stages of grieving the end of my marriage. The anger I am feeling towards my AH right now can't be healthy for me but I feel so much frustration over what has happened. The man I married and love so deeply askednfor divorce, said he wished he had nev...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

Hello All! I haven't been posting for a while, but have been reading regularly. First, I just want to say Thank You! to everyone. I learn so much from this board! Since I last posted my AH of 20+ years has gone out of state to find work. We aren't officially separated, but I told him I was done and want a divor...

Sunnygirl · Sunnygirl

Hi. New here. I finally found an al-anon meeting I like. Have been going for about a month. I finally shared for the first time this week. After the meeting I was talking to a woman who made me very uncomfortable. Everyone else seems nice and helpful. This lady was not helpful at all and I felt intimidated...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

On this board, there is an article about, Alcoholism, A Family Disease. There is a sentence that states, the family members need to be supportive and patient. My AH has been struggling with sobriety. No hard core drunken states, but I think sometimes having a small amount. I smell it on him. I have...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

So I have not been on here for a long time... I left for a few weeks, he called and begged and promised that it would be different. It was for a while, only because I changed my attitude and the way his drinking affects me. Now, I find myself back in the same ol same ol.... Every night he drinks and every mor...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic household we werent used to being happy. Happiness was not something that came around very often in my home. The alcoholic was saddled with unrealistic expectations and when those expectations weren...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

This morning I have begun to think that being controlled by sick parents who tell me not to protect myself is the same thing as living with an abusive husband. I believe this is why I'm entertaining the thought of going to a shleter. I believe God has allowed all my things to be destroyed by toxic mold in an...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Fitting in, if there is such a thing, has always been hard for me. I'm discovering why. Partly because I'm also an alcoholic and son to two alcoholics, one of which drank during pregnancy. I'm now raising my grand daughter who is 3 months old, and she shares the exact same birth defect as I do and in the sam...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi Family, I thought I'd share a little experience about my recent move. I moved into an apt in the city that ended up having toxic mold in it. I got very sick with all the symptoms and had to go to a motel, then moved to a different apt. I transported the mold spores with me they are resistant little buggers t...

sheristeele · sheristeele

7 Days ago I kicked my 20 year old son out of my home who has a drug problem. I do not understand what more I can do for him. He has been in court ordered rehab twice and has spent time in Jail. No matter how bad things get, he won't stop using. I have stood by his side unwaveringly and have done all I can to help h...

KACan · KACan

I'm new. Hi -everyone. :) I'm a mom of 3 girls, age 4 and twins who are almost 3. My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, he's a drinker. About twice a year since I've know him, I have tried to talk with him re. his problem. He usually tames down a bit for a few days, but then it goes bac...

Tracey C · Tracey C

As I worked my way through Step Four, I listed my character traits as honestly and fearlessly as I could. I was struck by a great irony: Many things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - tu...

Sarah325 · Sarah325

I am a newbie...My husband and I have been trying to help our niece who is 34 and an A. she has no job, trying to get her GED, went thru rehab (didn't take) last spring. she went thru detox with us at her side, taking care of her, and we thought she was making progress, but has picked up several times. We have b...

adamsmea · adamsmea

Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...

adamsmea · adamsmea

Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sitting here w/ a lot of time to write this post so I will slow down & make sense. I am so happy to say that I am off my chlesterol medicine as of yesterday. The new doctor I saw yesterday still thinks that the statin may cause the joint pain I have been having for almost a year. It is basically just anot...

Tracey C · Tracey C

I can be proud of the fact that I am a survivor. I have been brought through many struggles in order to be exactly where I am today. Today I know that I am more than my troubles. I am a human being with dignity. I have a wealth of experience that I can put to use by sharing it with those who are going through s...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

When my AH started drinking many years ago, the fears, concerns, worries, enabling, checking up, following, nervousness, sleeplessness and anxiety became my way of life. Many meetings didn't change anything. I read the books - they made sense. I understand the whole theory of detachment, ho...

heartbrokenNYC · heartbrokenNYC

Trying to find an Al-Anon group nearby and where I can go after work, is just so difficult. My partner keeps coming up with excuses, non stop, on his pursuit to trying to find a rehab place. Each time he finds something wrong, or can't afford to go. I just don't know what to do anymore, and honestly, I stopp...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been doing a LOT of thinking about where I was at a year ago especially this week. It was my birthday on Wednesday and then yesterday being thanksgiving I really just had some time to get inside my own head. Which it was a good thing I didn't have to go there alone and I was grateful so very much for th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I went to my boyfriends family Thanksgiving event and met a bunch of his people. They were great and sweet and I had a great time. I have been very cautious, leery and untrusting the last 5 months. I have blown things out of proportion and created crisis when it was not needed. I have had to face myself aga...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Hi, Im Dave, Im an alcoholic who grew up in a active dysfunctional alcoholic home. After 22 years sober, Ive been struggling (I think needlessly) with the spiritual side of the program and recently started reading some ACA books seeking the answer, and it appears Ive got it, somewhat. At least, I can r...

Desi · Desi

I have been with my fiancé for 3 years. He is an addict and we have broken up 3 times briefly throughout our relationship. Each time he comes back promising to quit and change. After we are back together for about a month he begins to act the same and the cycle repeats. He usually hides his addiction for abo...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

I just want to say how glad I am that I found this site. I'm also so thankful for each and every post on this site. I am very new to that Al Anon world though not new to alcoholism and its effects on the family. I have sought out help now that I have an AD ( it took me a couple of days to know what the letters stan...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I usually do, I posted a bunch of quotes on Facebook today. It feels good to send inspirational thoughts on there as well as on here. I really like the mantra do unto others as you would have done to you. It is not a cliche. I have been realizing just how much people mean to me. And, as I heard on TV, yes there...

Oksie · Oksie

HI guys Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards. As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment). We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to o...

rehprof · rehprof

No really, I'm asking that question of myself far too much. So...I'm home alone...going over and over this breakup and that date...and wondering why no guys are interested in a relationship with me... it HAS to be something wrong with ME, right? Honestly, I don't know what it is...I am smart, funny, r...

Dana1205 · Dana1205

Hubby just came home from a rehab working on the trust factor and trying to finger out how to behave and or act,very anxious and just it all to work out

learning · learning

A schoolmate of my kids drove from a neighboring state yesterday to see old friends. This morning on a social network she posted she is ready to go back. She is VERY disappointed at how much alot of these people have changed. My kids for the most part had went all but 2 yrs. to this school in a neighborin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Funny I come here sometimes, start a post and delete it. Not sure why I'm just weird that way. Maybe this one too? As the weeks pass since I called it totally over with the exABF the real person is surfacing. He put on a good show for 10 months. He really and truly is a sweet guy but as we here all know that'...

kweb · kweb

I came across this group on the internet. I need help. I have been with this man for 8 months and the lies about getting help are just that.. lies.. I dont want to enable any more. I love him, but how do I do this 'tough love' deal. I even thought of admitting myself into the mental hosptial just to get normal....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	the better I get the worse he gets ?? (Preview) I have read lots of books and have gotten good at detaching and living my life regardless of his choices. It seems he has taken this change in me as a chance to get worse ..(give an inch take a mile) It stinks that I am married and go to all (even his side) of family functions, kids events, and holidays alone....	sweeetr	3	527	Dec 2, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Trying to let go of the stress!! (Preview) I think I'm working my program, but why do I feel so stressed when setting boundries and staying firm with them. I hate to have to have any contact with my A's. always some drama or dysfuction goin on. Every time I show them any kindness, they come on full force, and I have to detach physically, emotion...	Highlyfavored	2	314	Dec 2, 2012 by Pushka
	Hard time with me (Preview) I have been having a hard time with myself. AH is doing what he does. But I can't seem to be happy anymore. I'm reading and turning to HP but the feeling of depression and sadness keep coming over me. I'm laying in bed while he sleeps next to me and I couldn't feel more alone if I were stranded in the desert. I...	sweeetr	2	327	Dec 2, 2012 by Tracey C
	I don't know if I wanna laugh, or cry! (Preview) I don't know if I wanna laugh or cry? I am still waiting to get more results & one more blood test. It kills me to go thru all this w/o a final result! I want to laugh, makes sense to me. What can I do but put up w/ some of this nonsense & just shake it off. I am so saddened by this time of year & occasion...	Hoot Nanny	0	435	Dec 1, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	numbness feels awful (Preview) I don't know how to protect myself anymore except for shutting down towards my A spouse. I think about separating all the time but won't be able to do it until finances change in a year or two. I don't hate her~in fact I feel very sorry for her. She is workin working on her latest lie and I have already caug...	Lyne	7	477	Dec 2, 2012 by Lyne
	Need advice: A book for him? (Preview) Hi all, It's been awhile since I was last here, but I've popped in here and there when things are at their worst, just to feel like there was some sense of hope out there for me - for people like us in our situation. I've started to go back to face-to-face meetings - have found one that I really like that I'll g...	ladysoblue	7	438	Dec 1, 2012 by ladysoblue
	There Is Always Hope (Preview) Hi to All, I come to this board infrequently these days. I'm happily living with my recovering AH. I realize that he might tumble off the wagon any time, any day, however. So my happiness is not a result of his sobriety, but of my realization of many truths. I practice a lot of what I learned from th...	GailMichelle	5	423	Dec 1, 2012 by glad lee
	Now the work starts (Preview) Hi everyone Today is the real start of my recovery in regards to my son. He is now completely out of money and no way to pay rent. He called sober and asked about disability and if I could help him apply. I don't know what he's thinking but I just said I know nothing about it and he would have to do the work h...	Cathyinaz	7	491	Dec 1, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	broken boundaries (Preview) ... found more bottles and smoke stuff.... he apparently tried to "come clean" with the truth (after confronted) and said hes goin down wrong path and is stoppin so plz be patient, he's been using excuses to leave the house and drinks enough to black out is why the things I found were here.....	sweeetr	7	352	Dec 1, 2012 by Pushka
	How do you deal with the loneliness when your husband will not get help and you refuse to let him come home without it? (Preview) My husband and me have been seperated for eight months and he promises to get help everytime we talk but still has not even started to get help. I have three children 16, 17, and 20 and a 15 month old granddaughter who is my heaven. He says he misses us so much and wants to come home but I will not and can not all...	redandblack	7	433	Dec 1, 2012 by redandblack
	RLC - one year ago.... (Preview) Hi gang... if my records are correct, Friday marks the one year anniversary of the sudden passing of RLC (Rodney), one of our most cherished members on MIP.... Thought it might be a nice idea to open a thread to share some thoughts or memories of your dealings with Rodney, to help us all keep his spirit...	canadianguy	12	509	Dec 1, 2012 by wp
	how do i find the chat for 9pm tonight for the meeting, i've been trying to find it to wait there for people (Preview) hi im new and cannot find my way around this site to talk to people	et1	1	275	Dec 1, 2012 by wp
	Husband back home from rehab (Preview) Hello, I am a mother of 3 and married for 10 years. I can say the last 2 years of our lives have been devasting to say the least. My husband's drinking became unbearable. We seperated for 8 months then he decided to go to rehab. After much consideration we decided to have him back home once his 30 days was don...	Catm005	4	465	Dec 1, 2012 by Flame
	Moving On From A Long, Toxic Marriage (Preview) Hello all, I spoke with my AH yesterday. I intended to tell him it was over (again) and that I would be filing for divorce. He is in another state working right now. Somehow, he dragged me into an argument about how I was at fault, too, and that I was the reason he drank/drinks. I chose to engage mostly becau...	TryingToChange	3	544	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	He doesnt agree... but I know otherwise (Preview) My husband and I have been together for 5 years, but have only been married for one. Now, I know when I let this all out some of you may bash me for some of the things I'm going to say, but please don't, it's not going to help any. My husband is 44 years old, and I'm 23. We have 2 children together and one on the wa...	becca223	8	406	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hello, new to the board! (Preview) Hey everyone, so I've come to this board after pacing back and forth about 5 times from my car to the driveway of a church where an al-anon meeting was at in my neighborhood. I felt very timid and anxious toward entering the meeting as a 23 year old guy by myself. I had a fear of going in and feeling alienated...	RSanders	4	500	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Emotional abandonment through alcoholism (share) (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.The other day a member shared with me some very kind words. One of the things they mentioned after hearing my story was that it sounded as though I had been emotionally abandoned at a very young age when a young man is just coming into...	slogan_jim	11	3593	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	As we Understood (Preview) My Tuesday night meeting this week had a speaker, an amazing elderly old-timer. At the end of her talk, she gave us all a copy of her favorite prayer from our al-anon book, As We Understood, and she read it at the table. Everyone who subsequently shared, expressed how moved and peaceful they felt, in...	glad lee	3	3053	Nov 30, 2012 by Tracy
	I married my father (Preview) My AH and I were in marriage counseling yesterday and AH has determined that I officially have married my father. Of course, just recently my 14 year old told me that he thought his dad was fat, lazy, and stubborn and I remember thinking the same things about my dad, too. Hmm, what a coincidence. UGH!...	ilovedogs	7	476	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My Higher power at work :) (Preview) Hey everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a greatful member of al-anon. I decided that I want to foster a cat from the humane society in an effort to gain some companionship in my apartment. It will provide me with some companionship and another heartbeat in the apartment. I had a cat when I was younger...	slogan_jim	10	668	Nov 30, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Am I doing the right thing by turning him in? (Preview) I have been with my alcoholic husband for about 10 years. I knew he had a problem when we married but I was in denial about how serious it was. He has put me through so much. He can be so wonderful when sober but I have not seen that side of him in awhile. The past few months he has been really out of control. I don...	scaredandconfused	9	573	Nov 30, 2012 by TryingToChange
	working on me about time (Preview) Hi all, have not posted for a bit, but still been working on my recovery. I am working step five at the moment in a step group, My hp has me in his arms its not easy but it is about time. I really feel like i am doing some good work and believ it will be worth it in the end. My A is sober a moment but only attending 1 m...	Tracy	3	299	Nov 30, 2012 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change - 30 November 2012 (Preview) Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better and worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved. They can act as catalysts, activating parts of ourselves that need...	Tracey C	1	233	Nov 30, 2012 by Tracey C
	Newbie Needs Book Recommendations (Preview) Good morning everyone, I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in Februa...	tikster823	4	436	Nov 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change - 29 November 2012 (Preview) Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped. Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had...	Tracey C	1	419	Nov 29, 2012 by sweeetr
	Opened a can of worms (Preview) Hi all Like in the last post I had my son over for Thanksgiving and was a very good day for both of us. But now I think I opened a can of worms because he is calling me every day. He might be drinking but of course he says he isn't. I know he's scared and will want me to help him soon and I also scared for him. I...	Cathyinaz	7	459	Nov 29, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	He is drinking again (Preview) It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think...	Cathyinaz	3	692	Nov 29, 2012 by Tracy
	I just threw him out, again (Preview) I just threw him out, again....Well, out of the house I now rent while he lives in our home. I kept my boundary and when he showed up stinking drunk---I made him leave....I feel awful, ....he cried. I know he sits home everyday...has food delivered and only goes out if he has to. I am trying to date again, a...	alexmaui	3	420	Nov 29, 2012 by hdftby100
	Daughters wedding (Preview) I am no longer w/ my AH of 30 years He has been sober for about 2 yrs.....our daughter is being married in 2013 and we are splitting the cost of the wedding. He has made 3 requests...to walk her down the aisle, to make a toast (he asked that she "trust" him to do that hummmm), and to do the father dau...	Auntyaya	4	257	Nov 29, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Stages of grief (Preview) I have found that i am entering in to another one of the many stages of grieving the end of my marriage. The anger I am feeling towards my AH right now can't be healthy for me but I feel so much frustration over what has happened. The man I married and love so deeply askednfor divorce, said he wished he had nev...	cinders	10	1836	Nov 29, 2012 by Pushka
	New Realization (Preview) Hello All! I haven't been posting for a while, but have been reading regularly. First, I just want to say Thank You! to everyone. I learn so much from this board! Since I last posted my AH of 20+ years has gone out of state to find work. We aren't officially separated, but I told him I was done and want a divor...	TryingToChange	6	329	Nov 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Rude, condescending woman at al anon meeting! (Preview) Hi. New here. I finally found an al-anon meeting I like. Have been going for about a month. I finally shared for the first time this week. After the meeting I was talking to a woman who made me very uncomfortable. Everyone else seems nice and helpful. This lady was not helpful at all and I felt intimidated...	Sunnygirl	9	774	Nov 29, 2012 by MeTwo2
	How do I stay supportive and patient? (Preview) On this board, there is an article about, Alcoholism, A Family Disease. There is a sentence that states, the family members need to be supportive and patient. My AH has been struggling with sobriety. No hard core drunken states, but I think sometimes having a small amount. I smell it on him. I have...	wifeofalcoholic	5	504	Nov 29, 2012 by ufontko
	Every night is a "party" (Preview) So I have not been on here for a long time... I left for a few weeks, he called and begged and promised that it would be different. It was for a while, only because I changed my attitude and the way his drinking affects me. Now, I find myself back in the same ol same ol.... Every night he drinks and every mor...	almostgivenup	8	485	Nov 29, 2012 by LulaMay
	Afraid of happiness? (share) (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic household we werent used to being happy. Happiness was not something that came around very often in my home. The alcoholic was saddled with unrealistic expectations and when those expectations weren...	slogan_jim	7	608	Nov 29, 2012 by RSanders
	Shelter? Scared. (Preview) This morning I have begun to think that being controlled by sick parents who tell me not to protect myself is the same thing as living with an abusive husband. I believe this is why I'm entertaining the thought of going to a shleter. I believe God has allowed all my things to be destroyed by toxic mold in an...	WorkingThroughIt	8	634	Nov 29, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Dealing with the past- and those who continue the same behavior (Preview) Fitting in, if there is such a thing, has always been hard for me. I'm discovering why. Partly because I'm also an alcoholic and son to two alcoholics, one of which drank during pregnancy. I'm now raising my grand daughter who is 3 months old, and she shares the exact same birth defect as I do and in the sam...	AlAnonDave	5	458	Nov 29, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Protecting Myself (Preview) Hi Family, I thought I'd share a little experience about my recent move. I moved into an apt in the city that ended up having toxic mold in it. I got very sick with all the symptoms and had to go to a motel, then moved to a different apt. I transported the mold spores with me they are resistant little buggers t...	WorkingThroughIt	3	385	Nov 29, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Hurting inside after kicking my son out. (Preview) 7 Days ago I kicked my 20 year old son out of my home who has a drug problem. I do not understand what more I can do for him. He has been in court ordered rehab twice and has spent time in Jail. No matter how bad things get, he won't stop using. I have stood by his side unwaveringly and have done all I can to help h...	sheristeele	9	551	Nov 28, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Tired of the BS (Preview) I'm new. Hi -everyone. :) I'm a mom of 3 girls, age 4 and twins who are almost 3. My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, he's a drinker. About twice a year since I've know him, I have tried to talk with him re. his problem. He usually tames down a bit for a few days, but then it goes bac...	KACan	4	456	Nov 28, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Reading for Today - 28 November 2012 (Preview) As I worked my way through Step Four, I listed my character traits as honestly and fearlessly as I could. I was struck by a great irony: Many things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - tu...	Tracey C	1	578	Nov 28, 2012 by hotrod
	Newbie needs help (Preview) I am a newbie...My husband and I have been trying to help our niece who is 34 and an A. she has no job, trying to get her GED, went thru rehab (didn't take) last spring. she went thru detox with us at her side, taking care of her, and we thought she was making progress, but has picked up several times. We have b...	Sarah325	7	435	Nov 28, 2012 by Sarah325
	New to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...	adamsmea	5	508	Nov 28, 2012 by Katy
	New to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...	adamsmea	1	481	Nov 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	lots of TIME(LONG) (Preview) I am sitting here w/ a lot of time to write this post so I will slow down & make sense. I am so happy to say that I am off my chlesterol medicine as of yesterday. The new doctor I saw yesterday still thinks that the statin may cause the joint pain I have been having for almost a year. It is basically just anot...	Hoot Nanny	1	245	Nov 28, 2012 by hotrod
	Reading for Today - 27 November 2012 (Preview) I can be proud of the fact that I am a survivor. I have been brought through many struggles in order to be exactly where I am today. Today I know that I am more than my troubles. I am a human being with dignity. I have a wealth of experience that I can put to use by sharing it with those who are going through s...	Tracey C	3	357	Nov 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Shadow of Former Self (Preview) When my AH started drinking many years ago, the fears, concerns, worries, enabling, checking up, following, nervousness, sleeplessness and anxiety became my way of life. Many meetings didn't change anything. I read the books - they made sense. I understand the whole theory of detachment, ho...	wifeofalcoholic	1	404	Nov 27, 2012 by hotrod
	heartbroken and lost (Preview) Trying to find an Al-Anon group nearby and where I can go after work, is just so difficult. My partner keeps coming up with excuses, non stop, on his pursuit to trying to find a rehab place. Each time he finds something wrong, or can't afford to go. I just don't know what to do anymore, and honestly, I stopp...	heartbrokenNYC	8	478	Nov 27, 2012 by wifeofalcoholic
	Kind of cool :) (Preview) I have been doing a LOT of thinking about where I was at a year ago especially this week. It was my birthday on Wednesday and then yesterday being thanksgiving I really just had some time to get inside my own head. Which it was a good thing I didn't have to go there alone and I was grateful so very much for th...	Pushka	5	412	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Finally able to flow into a relationship (Preview) I went to my boyfriends family Thanksgiving event and met a bunch of his people. They were great and sweet and I had a great time. I have been very cautious, leery and untrusting the last 5 months. I have blown things out of proportion and created crisis when it was not needed. I have had to face myself aga...	Breakingfree	3	329	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Intro (Preview) Hi, Im Dave, Im an alcoholic who grew up in a active dysfunctional alcoholic home. After 22 years sober, Ive been struggling (I think needlessly) with the spiritual side of the program and recently started reading some ACA books seeking the answer, and it appears Ive got it, somewhat. At least, I can r...	AlAnonDave	8	429	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Help with an addict pls (Preview) I have been with my fiancé for 3 years. He is an addict and we have broken up 3 times briefly throughout our relationship. Each time he comes back promising to quit and change. After we are back together for about a month he begins to act the same and the cycle repeats. He usually hides his addiction for abo...	Desi	13	555	Nov 27, 2012 by Desi
	Thank you for the posts (Preview) I just want to say how glad I am that I found this site. I'm also so thankful for each and every post on this site. I am very new to that Al Anon world though not new to alcoholism and its effects on the family. I have sought out help now that I have an AD ( it took me a couple of days to know what the letters stan...	Afraidparent	4	424	Nov 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	be nice to others they will be nice to you! (Preview) As I usually do, I posted a bunch of quotes on Facebook today. It feels good to send inspirational thoughts on there as well as on here. I really like the mantra do unto others as you would have done to you. It is not a cliche. I have been realizing just how much people mean to me. And, as I heard on TV, yes there...	Hoot Nanny	1	313	Nov 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	husband hospitalised (Preview) HI guys Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards. As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment). We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to o...	Oksie	10	518	Nov 27, 2012 by Oksie
	What's wrong with me? (Preview) No really, I'm asking that question of myself far too much. So...I'm home alone...going over and over this breakup and that date...and wondering why no guys are interested in a relationship with me... it HAS to be something wrong with ME, right? Honestly, I don't know what it is...I am smart, funny, r...	rehprof	17	629	Nov 27, 2012 by Auntyaya
	New to group (Preview) Hubby just came home from a rehab working on the trust factor and trying to finger out how to behave and or act,very anxious and just it all to work out	Dana1205	3	316	Nov 27, 2012 by Bettina
	Just saying :( (Preview) A schoolmate of my kids drove from a neighboring state yesterday to see old friends. This morning on a social network she posted she is ready to go back. She is VERY disappointed at how much alot of these people have changed. My kids for the most part had went all but 2 yrs. to this school in a neighborin...	learning	3	338	Nov 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When reality hits (Preview) Funny I come here sometimes, start a post and delete it. Not sure why I'm just weird that way. Maybe this one too? As the weeks pass since I called it totally over with the exABF the real person is surfacing. He put on a good show for 10 months. He really and truly is a sweet guy but as we here all know that'...	AStrongerMe	5	549	Nov 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to this group (Preview) I came across this group on the internet. I need help. I have been with this man for 8 months and the lies about getting help are just that.. lies.. I dont want to enable any more. I love him, but how do I do this 'tough love' deal. I even thought of admitting myself into the mental hosptial just to get normal....	kweb	4	395	Nov 26, 2012 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.