Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

RSanders · RSanders

Hey everyone, so I've come to this board after pacing back and forth about 5 times from my car to the driveway of a church where an al-anon meeting was at in my neighborhood. I felt very timid and anxious toward entering the meeting as a 23 year old guy by myself. I had a fear of going in and feeling alienated...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.The other day a member shared with me some very kind words. One of the things they mentioned after hearing my story was that it sounded as though I had been emotionally abandoned at a very young age when a young man is just coming into...

glad lee · glad lee

My Tuesday night meeting this week had a speaker, an amazing elderly old-timer. At the end of her talk, she gave us all a copy of her favorite prayer from our al-anon book, As We Understood, and she read it at the table. Everyone who subsequently shared, expressed how moved and peaceful they felt, in...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH and I were in marriage counseling yesterday and AH has determined that I officially have married my father. Of course, just recently my 14 year old told me that he thought his dad was fat, lazy, and stubborn and I remember thinking the same things about my dad, too. Hmm, what a coincidence. UGH!...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a greatful member of al-anon. I decided that I want to foster a cat from the humane society in an effort to gain some companionship in my apartment. It will provide me with some companionship and another heartbeat in the apartment. I had a cat when I was younger...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I have been with my alcoholic husband for about 10 years. I knew he had a problem when we married but I was in denial about how serious it was. He has put me through so much. He can be so wonderful when sober but I have not seen that side of him in awhile. The past few months he has been really out of control. I don...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, have not posted for a bit, but still been working on my recovery. I am working step five at the moment in a step group, My hp has me in his arms its not easy but it is about time. I really feel like i am doing some good work and believ it will be worth it in the end. My A is sober a moment but only attending 1 m...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better and worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved. They can act as catalysts, activating parts of ourselves that need...

tikster823 · tikster823

Good morning everyone, I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in Februa...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped. Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all Like in the last post I had my son over for Thanksgiving and was a very good day for both of us. But now I think I opened a can of worms because he is calling me every day. He might be drinking but of course he says he isn't. I know he's scared and will want me to help him soon and I also scared for him. I...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I just threw him out, again....Well, out of the house I now rent while he lives in our home. I kept my boundary and when he showed up stinking drunk---I made him leave....I feel awful, ....he cried. I know he sits home everyday...has food delivered and only goes out if he has to. I am trying to date again, a...

Auntyaya · Auntyaya

I am no longer w/ my AH of 30 years He has been sober for about 2 yrs.....our daughter is being married in 2013 and we are splitting the cost of the wedding. He has made 3 requests...to walk her down the aisle, to make a toast (he asked that she "trust" him to do that hummmm), and to do the father dau...

cinders · cinders

I have found that i am entering in to another one of the many stages of grieving the end of my marriage. The anger I am feeling towards my AH right now can't be healthy for me but I feel so much frustration over what has happened. The man I married and love so deeply askednfor divorce, said he wished he had nev...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

Hello All! I haven't been posting for a while, but have been reading regularly. First, I just want to say Thank You! to everyone. I learn so much from this board! Since I last posted my AH of 20+ years has gone out of state to find work. We aren't officially separated, but I told him I was done and want a divor...

Sunnygirl · Sunnygirl

Hi. New here. I finally found an al-anon meeting I like. Have been going for about a month. I finally shared for the first time this week. After the meeting I was talking to a woman who made me very uncomfortable. Everyone else seems nice and helpful. This lady was not helpful at all and I felt intimidated...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

On this board, there is an article about, Alcoholism, A Family Disease. There is a sentence that states, the family members need to be supportive and patient. My AH has been struggling with sobriety. No hard core drunken states, but I think sometimes having a small amount. I smell it on him. I have...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

So I have not been on here for a long time... I left for a few weeks, he called and begged and promised that it would be different. It was for a while, only because I changed my attitude and the way his drinking affects me. Now, I find myself back in the same ol same ol.... Every night he drinks and every mor...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic household we werent used to being happy. Happiness was not something that came around very often in my home. The alcoholic was saddled with unrealistic expectations and when those expectations weren...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

This morning I have begun to think that being controlled by sick parents who tell me not to protect myself is the same thing as living with an abusive husband. I believe this is why I'm entertaining the thought of going to a shleter. I believe God has allowed all my things to be destroyed by toxic mold in an...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Fitting in, if there is such a thing, has always been hard for me. I'm discovering why. Partly because I'm also an alcoholic and son to two alcoholics, one of which drank during pregnancy. I'm now raising my grand daughter who is 3 months old, and she shares the exact same birth defect as I do and in the sam...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi Family, I thought I'd share a little experience about my recent move. I moved into an apt in the city that ended up having toxic mold in it. I got very sick with all the symptoms and had to go to a motel, then moved to a different apt. I transported the mold spores with me they are resistant little buggers t...

sheristeele · sheristeele

7 Days ago I kicked my 20 year old son out of my home who has a drug problem. I do not understand what more I can do for him. He has been in court ordered rehab twice and has spent time in Jail. No matter how bad things get, he won't stop using. I have stood by his side unwaveringly and have done all I can to help h...

KACan · KACan

I'm new. Hi -everyone. :) I'm a mom of 3 girls, age 4 and twins who are almost 3. My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, he's a drinker. About twice a year since I've know him, I have tried to talk with him re. his problem. He usually tames down a bit for a few days, but then it goes bac...

Tracey C · Tracey C

As I worked my way through Step Four, I listed my character traits as honestly and fearlessly as I could. I was struck by a great irony: Many things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - tu...

Sarah325 · Sarah325

I am a newbie...My husband and I have been trying to help our niece who is 34 and an A. she has no job, trying to get her GED, went thru rehab (didn't take) last spring. she went thru detox with us at her side, taking care of her, and we thought she was making progress, but has picked up several times. We have b...

adamsmea · adamsmea

Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...

adamsmea · adamsmea

Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sitting here w/ a lot of time to write this post so I will slow down & make sense. I am so happy to say that I am off my chlesterol medicine as of yesterday. The new doctor I saw yesterday still thinks that the statin may cause the joint pain I have been having for almost a year. It is basically just anot...

Tracey C · Tracey C

I can be proud of the fact that I am a survivor. I have been brought through many struggles in order to be exactly where I am today. Today I know that I am more than my troubles. I am a human being with dignity. I have a wealth of experience that I can put to use by sharing it with those who are going through s...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

When my AH started drinking many years ago, the fears, concerns, worries, enabling, checking up, following, nervousness, sleeplessness and anxiety became my way of life. Many meetings didn't change anything. I read the books - they made sense. I understand the whole theory of detachment, ho...

heartbrokenNYC · heartbrokenNYC

Trying to find an Al-Anon group nearby and where I can go after work, is just so difficult. My partner keeps coming up with excuses, non stop, on his pursuit to trying to find a rehab place. Each time he finds something wrong, or can't afford to go. I just don't know what to do anymore, and honestly, I stopp...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been doing a LOT of thinking about where I was at a year ago especially this week. It was my birthday on Wednesday and then yesterday being thanksgiving I really just had some time to get inside my own head. Which it was a good thing I didn't have to go there alone and I was grateful so very much for th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I went to my boyfriends family Thanksgiving event and met a bunch of his people. They were great and sweet and I had a great time. I have been very cautious, leery and untrusting the last 5 months. I have blown things out of proportion and created crisis when it was not needed. I have had to face myself aga...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Hi, Im Dave, Im an alcoholic who grew up in a active dysfunctional alcoholic home. After 22 years sober, Ive been struggling (I think needlessly) with the spiritual side of the program and recently started reading some ACA books seeking the answer, and it appears Ive got it, somewhat. At least, I can r...

Desi · Desi

I have been with my fiancé for 3 years. He is an addict and we have broken up 3 times briefly throughout our relationship. Each time he comes back promising to quit and change. After we are back together for about a month he begins to act the same and the cycle repeats. He usually hides his addiction for abo...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

I just want to say how glad I am that I found this site. I'm also so thankful for each and every post on this site. I am very new to that Al Anon world though not new to alcoholism and its effects on the family. I have sought out help now that I have an AD ( it took me a couple of days to know what the letters stan...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I usually do, I posted a bunch of quotes on Facebook today. It feels good to send inspirational thoughts on there as well as on here. I really like the mantra do unto others as you would have done to you. It is not a cliche. I have been realizing just how much people mean to me. And, as I heard on TV, yes there...

Oksie · Oksie

HI guys Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards. As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment). We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to o...

rehprof · rehprof

No really, I'm asking that question of myself far too much. So...I'm home alone...going over and over this breakup and that date...and wondering why no guys are interested in a relationship with me... it HAS to be something wrong with ME, right? Honestly, I don't know what it is...I am smart, funny, r...

Dana1205 · Dana1205

Hubby just came home from a rehab working on the trust factor and trying to finger out how to behave and or act,very anxious and just it all to work out

learning · learning

A schoolmate of my kids drove from a neighboring state yesterday to see old friends. This morning on a social network she posted she is ready to go back. She is VERY disappointed at how much alot of these people have changed. My kids for the most part had went all but 2 yrs. to this school in a neighborin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Funny I come here sometimes, start a post and delete it. Not sure why I'm just weird that way. Maybe this one too? As the weeks pass since I called it totally over with the exABF the real person is surfacing. He put on a good show for 10 months. He really and truly is a sweet guy but as we here all know that'...

kweb · kweb

I came across this group on the internet. I need help. I have been with this man for 8 months and the lies about getting help are just that.. lies.. I dont want to enable any more. I love him, but how do I do this 'tough love' deal. I even thought of admitting myself into the mental hosptial just to get normal....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I knew this would start. My son now called me telling me he can't drive because his battery is dead. He said he had a appointment with the counselor today...SUNDAY??? ... right. I just said I'm sorry but I can't help because I don't want it all to start again. He asked what I was talking about trying to ge...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Be a good listener. the secret of being interesting is to be interested. You can't start the new chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Move on. All you need to know in life is what you learned in kindergarten. God only gives you as much as you can handle, if you can't handle something, he...

daisy31 · daisy31

There is all this talk about the energy shifts happening and 11/11 and then 12/12 and 12/25 and it is freaking me out. Has anyone heard about it? I do feel like it may actually be real. I am working on step 4 and trying to do all of this stuff and then all of these people are talking about the energy shifts t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

There are many suffering codependents and adult children in AA. I believe it is these issues that caused Bill Wilson to suffer with depression for the rest of his life. He did not have the support of other fellowships. I don't think he ever thought of joinging Alanon - and Alanon slept right next to him e...

Umutlu · Umutlu

So here it is, another evening of him drinking. Not a ranging drunk, just the usual buzz on. We had a nice day together today, but it seems the evenings are always the same - he needs to drink. Part of me wants to talk about this with him, when he's sober. But I know, in reality, it probably wouldn't make any...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been a drinker. Functioning alcoholic for most of those Years. After his mother died- 11 years ago- it seems his depression took over and he stopped being functioning. That was over 10 years ago. He hit what I thought was bottom last year and went t...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Hes 32 days sober and hes doing great but all of a sudden got a huge attitude and started blaming me for everything. I understand hes going to be irritable but I dont understand why he has to b so mean to me. When does it get easier and what should I do to help him? Does NA beer really help?

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Thank you everyone for your wise replies. She didn't show up and no one even mentioned it. My son's girlfriend posted a picture on Facebook of him hugging two little girls belonging to a friend that they had dinner with. The picture was posted with the caption "family." I wrote back and...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well I had my son over for Thanksgiving and he was sober. Little shaky but OK. We had a great time together and spend two days talking about everything and anything but him getting well. He helped me with dinner and it was so nice. I had to pick him up and take him home afterwards. While at his place I co...

Jill · Jill

Today I love the life I have. How about that? Thank you all for your wisdom and everlasting patience. I am the daughter and exwife of alcoholics. Slowly I got better. Today is a good one. So thankful!

Lyne · Lyne

I know I need alot of help because occassionally I can do it - detach with love- but otherwise I am angry, sad or numb, like today. My A spouse is on her best behavior today. We had one of those great talks where it wasn't fighting, I stayed calm, she heard me, and she wants to try. Today she is calling me ev...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I need slogans for my wall. I have a bunch, but I know there are more out there. Anyone with slogans please share them with me. Thanks and happy turkey day to all! Here is what I have on my wall now, Any new ones out there? "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you ca...

chinup · chinup

my mother just passed away at 2:40 pm today she has been through 13 yrs dialisis and lots of surgeries,she suffered long,im happy for her but im sad for me for im gonna miss that woman,she was truely the best mom anyone would wantbut i was finnaly able and had to let her go,now for me time to reroute my life m...

Carlisle · Carlisle

I'm looking for help I'm so lost and alone atm, my hub drinks every weekend to the point he can't talk in the morning, he stays up all night drinking and on the computer. Over the 13 yrs I have learnt to stay out the way and to not say anting that will upset him. I have talked to him when he is sober on how I feel an...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I know and remember a time when that love wish would make me sick and I'd want to leave the room and then in the same memory I would also remember finding the Al-Anon Family Groups and the promise of peace of mind and serenity. I learned about choices especially the choices to choose the Opposites. Whil...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hello, new to the board! (Preview) Hey everyone, so I've come to this board after pacing back and forth about 5 times from my car to the driveway of a church where an al-anon meeting was at in my neighborhood. I felt very timid and anxious toward entering the meeting as a 23 year old guy by myself. I had a fear of going in and feeling alienated...	RSanders	4	483	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Emotional abandonment through alcoholism (share) (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.The other day a member shared with me some very kind words. One of the things they mentioned after hearing my story was that it sounded as though I had been emotionally abandoned at a very young age when a young man is just coming into...	slogan_jim	11	3484	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	As we Understood (Preview) My Tuesday night meeting this week had a speaker, an amazing elderly old-timer. At the end of her talk, she gave us all a copy of her favorite prayer from our al-anon book, As We Understood, and she read it at the table. Everyone who subsequently shared, expressed how moved and peaceful they felt, in...	glad lee	3	2968	Nov 30, 2012 by Tracy
	I married my father (Preview) My AH and I were in marriage counseling yesterday and AH has determined that I officially have married my father. Of course, just recently my 14 year old told me that he thought his dad was fat, lazy, and stubborn and I remember thinking the same things about my dad, too. Hmm, what a coincidence. UGH!...	ilovedogs	7	459	Nov 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My Higher power at work :) (Preview) Hey everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a greatful member of al-anon. I decided that I want to foster a cat from the humane society in an effort to gain some companionship in my apartment. It will provide me with some companionship and another heartbeat in the apartment. I had a cat when I was younger...	slogan_jim	10	621	Nov 30, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Am I doing the right thing by turning him in? (Preview) I have been with my alcoholic husband for about 10 years. I knew he had a problem when we married but I was in denial about how serious it was. He has put me through so much. He can be so wonderful when sober but I have not seen that side of him in awhile. The past few months he has been really out of control. I don...	scaredandconfused	9	554	Nov 30, 2012 by TryingToChange
	working on me about time (Preview) Hi all, have not posted for a bit, but still been working on my recovery. I am working step five at the moment in a step group, My hp has me in his arms its not easy but it is about time. I really feel like i am doing some good work and believ it will be worth it in the end. My A is sober a moment but only attending 1 m...	Tracy	3	283	Nov 30, 2012 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change - 30 November 2012 (Preview) Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better and worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved. They can act as catalysts, activating parts of ourselves that need...	Tracey C	1	216	Nov 30, 2012 by Tracey C
	Newbie Needs Book Recommendations (Preview) Good morning everyone, I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in Februa...	tikster823	4	420	Nov 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change - 29 November 2012 (Preview) Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped. Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had...	Tracey C	1	405	Nov 29, 2012 by sweeetr
	Opened a can of worms (Preview) Hi all Like in the last post I had my son over for Thanksgiving and was a very good day for both of us. But now I think I opened a can of worms because he is calling me every day. He might be drinking but of course he says he isn't. I know he's scared and will want me to help him soon and I also scared for him. I...	Cathyinaz	7	442	Nov 29, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	He is drinking again (Preview) It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think...	Cathyinaz	3	672	Nov 29, 2012 by Tracy
	I just threw him out, again (Preview) I just threw him out, again....Well, out of the house I now rent while he lives in our home. I kept my boundary and when he showed up stinking drunk---I made him leave....I feel awful, ....he cried. I know he sits home everyday...has food delivered and only goes out if he has to. I am trying to date again, a...	alexmaui	3	403	Nov 29, 2012 by hdftby100
	Daughters wedding (Preview) I am no longer w/ my AH of 30 years He has been sober for about 2 yrs.....our daughter is being married in 2013 and we are splitting the cost of the wedding. He has made 3 requests...to walk her down the aisle, to make a toast (he asked that she "trust" him to do that hummmm), and to do the father dau...	Auntyaya	4	240	Nov 29, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Stages of grief (Preview) I have found that i am entering in to another one of the many stages of grieving the end of my marriage. The anger I am feeling towards my AH right now can't be healthy for me but I feel so much frustration over what has happened. The man I married and love so deeply askednfor divorce, said he wished he had nev...	cinders	10	1776	Nov 29, 2012 by Pushka
	New Realization (Preview) Hello All! I haven't been posting for a while, but have been reading regularly. First, I just want to say Thank You! to everyone. I learn so much from this board! Since I last posted my AH of 20+ years has gone out of state to find work. We aren't officially separated, but I told him I was done and want a divor...	TryingToChange	6	314	Nov 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Rude, condescending woman at al anon meeting! (Preview) Hi. New here. I finally found an al-anon meeting I like. Have been going for about a month. I finally shared for the first time this week. After the meeting I was talking to a woman who made me very uncomfortable. Everyone else seems nice and helpful. This lady was not helpful at all and I felt intimidated...	Sunnygirl	9	752	Nov 29, 2012 by MeTwo2
	How do I stay supportive and patient? (Preview) On this board, there is an article about, Alcoholism, A Family Disease. There is a sentence that states, the family members need to be supportive and patient. My AH has been struggling with sobriety. No hard core drunken states, but I think sometimes having a small amount. I smell it on him. I have...	wifeofalcoholic	5	487	Nov 29, 2012 by ufontko
	Every night is a "party" (Preview) So I have not been on here for a long time... I left for a few weeks, he called and begged and promised that it would be different. It was for a while, only because I changed my attitude and the way his drinking affects me. Now, I find myself back in the same ol same ol.... Every night he drinks and every mor...	almostgivenup	8	465	Nov 29, 2012 by LulaMay
	Afraid of happiness? (share) (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic household we werent used to being happy. Happiness was not something that came around very often in my home. The alcoholic was saddled with unrealistic expectations and when those expectations weren...	slogan_jim	7	590	Nov 29, 2012 by RSanders
	Shelter? Scared. (Preview) This morning I have begun to think that being controlled by sick parents who tell me not to protect myself is the same thing as living with an abusive husband. I believe this is why I'm entertaining the thought of going to a shleter. I believe God has allowed all my things to be destroyed by toxic mold in an...	WorkingThroughIt	8	620	Nov 29, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Dealing with the past- and those who continue the same behavior (Preview) Fitting in, if there is such a thing, has always been hard for me. I'm discovering why. Partly because I'm also an alcoholic and son to two alcoholics, one of which drank during pregnancy. I'm now raising my grand daughter who is 3 months old, and she shares the exact same birth defect as I do and in the sam...	AlAnonDave	5	439	Nov 29, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Protecting Myself (Preview) Hi Family, I thought I'd share a little experience about my recent move. I moved into an apt in the city that ended up having toxic mold in it. I got very sick with all the symptoms and had to go to a motel, then moved to a different apt. I transported the mold spores with me they are resistant little buggers t...	WorkingThroughIt	3	369	Nov 29, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Hurting inside after kicking my son out. (Preview) 7 Days ago I kicked my 20 year old son out of my home who has a drug problem. I do not understand what more I can do for him. He has been in court ordered rehab twice and has spent time in Jail. No matter how bad things get, he won't stop using. I have stood by his side unwaveringly and have done all I can to help h...	sheristeele	9	535	Nov 28, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Tired of the BS (Preview) I'm new. Hi -everyone. :) I'm a mom of 3 girls, age 4 and twins who are almost 3. My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, he's a drinker. About twice a year since I've know him, I have tried to talk with him re. his problem. He usually tames down a bit for a few days, but then it goes bac...	KACan	4	440	Nov 28, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Reading for Today - 28 November 2012 (Preview) As I worked my way through Step Four, I listed my character traits as honestly and fearlessly as I could. I was struck by a great irony: Many things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - tu...	Tracey C	1	564	Nov 28, 2012 by hotrod
	Newbie needs help (Preview) I am a newbie...My husband and I have been trying to help our niece who is 34 and an A. she has no job, trying to get her GED, went thru rehab (didn't take) last spring. she went thru detox with us at her side, taking care of her, and we thought she was making progress, but has picked up several times. We have b...	Sarah325	7	421	Nov 28, 2012 by Sarah325
	New to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...	adamsmea	5	490	Nov 28, 2012 by Katy
	New to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, My name is Meagan and I'm trying to improve my relationship with my parents. I am in a dynamics to personal adjustment class that has assigned a self-change project and I chose this as an area of life I would like to change and improve. My mother and father recently divorced largely in part of my m...	adamsmea	1	463	Nov 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	lots of TIME(LONG) (Preview) I am sitting here w/ a lot of time to write this post so I will slow down & make sense. I am so happy to say that I am off my chlesterol medicine as of yesterday. The new doctor I saw yesterday still thinks that the statin may cause the joint pain I have been having for almost a year. It is basically just anot...	Hoot Nanny	1	228	Nov 28, 2012 by hotrod
	Reading for Today - 27 November 2012 (Preview) I can be proud of the fact that I am a survivor. I have been brought through many struggles in order to be exactly where I am today. Today I know that I am more than my troubles. I am a human being with dignity. I have a wealth of experience that I can put to use by sharing it with those who are going through s...	Tracey C	3	341	Nov 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Shadow of Former Self (Preview) When my AH started drinking many years ago, the fears, concerns, worries, enabling, checking up, following, nervousness, sleeplessness and anxiety became my way of life. Many meetings didn't change anything. I read the books - they made sense. I understand the whole theory of detachment, ho...	wifeofalcoholic	1	388	Nov 27, 2012 by hotrod
	heartbroken and lost (Preview) Trying to find an Al-Anon group nearby and where I can go after work, is just so difficult. My partner keeps coming up with excuses, non stop, on his pursuit to trying to find a rehab place. Each time he finds something wrong, or can't afford to go. I just don't know what to do anymore, and honestly, I stopp...	heartbrokenNYC	8	459	Nov 27, 2012 by wifeofalcoholic
	Kind of cool :) (Preview) I have been doing a LOT of thinking about where I was at a year ago especially this week. It was my birthday on Wednesday and then yesterday being thanksgiving I really just had some time to get inside my own head. Which it was a good thing I didn't have to go there alone and I was grateful so very much for th...	Pushka	5	398	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Finally able to flow into a relationship (Preview) I went to my boyfriends family Thanksgiving event and met a bunch of his people. They were great and sweet and I had a great time. I have been very cautious, leery and untrusting the last 5 months. I have blown things out of proportion and created crisis when it was not needed. I have had to face myself aga...	Breakingfree	3	311	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Intro (Preview) Hi, Im Dave, Im an alcoholic who grew up in a active dysfunctional alcoholic home. After 22 years sober, Ive been struggling (I think needlessly) with the spiritual side of the program and recently started reading some ACA books seeking the answer, and it appears Ive got it, somewhat. At least, I can r...	AlAnonDave	8	415	Nov 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Help with an addict pls (Preview) I have been with my fiancé for 3 years. He is an addict and we have broken up 3 times briefly throughout our relationship. Each time he comes back promising to quit and change. After we are back together for about a month he begins to act the same and the cycle repeats. He usually hides his addiction for abo...	Desi	13	535	Nov 27, 2012 by Desi
	Thank you for the posts (Preview) I just want to say how glad I am that I found this site. I'm also so thankful for each and every post on this site. I am very new to that Al Anon world though not new to alcoholism and its effects on the family. I have sought out help now that I have an AD ( it took me a couple of days to know what the letters stan...	Afraidparent	4	412	Nov 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	be nice to others they will be nice to you! (Preview) As I usually do, I posted a bunch of quotes on Facebook today. It feels good to send inspirational thoughts on there as well as on here. I really like the mantra do unto others as you would have done to you. It is not a cliche. I have been realizing just how much people mean to me. And, as I heard on TV, yes there...	Hoot Nanny	1	297	Nov 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	husband hospitalised (Preview) HI guys Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards. As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment). We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to o...	Oksie	10	501	Nov 27, 2012 by Oksie
	What's wrong with me? (Preview) No really, I'm asking that question of myself far too much. So...I'm home alone...going over and over this breakup and that date...and wondering why no guys are interested in a relationship with me... it HAS to be something wrong with ME, right? Honestly, I don't know what it is...I am smart, funny, r...	rehprof	17	613	Nov 27, 2012 by Auntyaya
	New to group (Preview) Hubby just came home from a rehab working on the trust factor and trying to finger out how to behave and or act,very anxious and just it all to work out	Dana1205	3	301	Nov 27, 2012 by Bettina
	Just saying :( (Preview) A schoolmate of my kids drove from a neighboring state yesterday to see old friends. This morning on a social network she posted she is ready to go back. She is VERY disappointed at how much alot of these people have changed. My kids for the most part had went all but 2 yrs. to this school in a neighborin...	learning	3	322	Nov 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When reality hits (Preview) Funny I come here sometimes, start a post and delete it. Not sure why I'm just weird that way. Maybe this one too? As the weeks pass since I called it totally over with the exABF the real person is surfacing. He put on a good show for 10 months. He really and truly is a sweet guy but as we here all know that'...	AStrongerMe	5	532	Nov 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to this group (Preview) I came across this group on the internet. I need help. I have been with this man for 8 months and the lies about getting help are just that.. lies.. I dont want to enable any more. I love him, but how do I do this 'tough love' deal. I even thought of admitting myself into the mental hosptial just to get normal....	kweb	4	377	Nov 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	I'm needing my HP more than ever today (Preview) I knew this would start. My son now called me telling me he can't drive because his battery is dead. He said he had a appointment with the counselor today...SUNDAY??? ... right. I just said I'm sorry but I can't help because I don't want it all to start again. He asked what I was talking about trying to ge...	Cathyinaz	4	473	Nov 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	quotes (Preview) Be a good listener. the secret of being interesting is to be interested. You can't start the new chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Move on. All you need to know in life is what you learned in kindergarten. God only gives you as much as you can handle, if you can't handle something, he...	Hoot Nanny	2	243	Nov 26, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Really freaked out (Preview) There is all this talk about the energy shifts happening and 11/11 and then 12/12 and 12/25 and it is freaking me out. Has anyone heard about it? I do feel like it may actually be real. I am working on step 4 and trying to do all of this stuff and then all of these people are talking about the energy shifts t...	daisy31	10	449	Nov 26, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	The Suffering Alanon-Qualified in AA (Preview) There are many suffering codependents and adult children in AA. I believe it is these issues that caused Bill Wilson to suffer with depression for the rest of his life. He did not have the support of other fellowships. I don't think he ever thought of joinging Alanon - and Alanon slept right next to him e...	WorkingThroughIt	7	486	Nov 26, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	Its not fair! (Preview) So here it is, another evening of him drinking. Not a ranging drunk, just the usual buzz on. We had a nice day together today, but it seems the evenings are always the same - he needs to drink. Part of me wants to talk about this with him, when he's sober. But I know, in reality, it probably wouldn't make any...	Umutlu	5	395	Nov 26, 2012 by Geo
	How can I love someone while hating them so much at the same time? (Preview) I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been a drinker. Functioning alcoholic for most of those Years. After his mother died- 11 years ago- it seems his depression took over and he stopped being functioning. That was over 10 years ago. He hit what I thought was bottom last year and went t...	Looking for peace	11	527	Nov 26, 2012 by Looking for peace
	confused (Preview) Hes 32 days sober and hes doing great but all of a sudden got a huge attitude and started blaming me for everything. I understand hes going to be irritable but I dont understand why he has to b so mean to me. When does it get easier and what should I do to help him? Does NA beer really help?	bryteyes	8	446	Nov 26, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	? about daughter follow up (Preview) Thank you everyone for your wise replies. She didn't show up and no one even mentioned it. My son's girlfriend posted a picture on Facebook of him hugging two little girls belonging to a friend that they had dinner with. The picture was posted with the caption "family." I wrote back and...	Minnehaha	2	451	Nov 26, 2012 by Minnehaha
	My Son for Thanksgiving (Preview) Well I had my son over for Thanksgiving and he was sober. Little shaky but OK. We had a great time together and spend two days talking about everything and anything but him getting well. He helped me with dinner and it was so nice. I had to pick him up and take him home afterwards. While at his place I co...	Cathyinaz	8	431	Nov 25, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Miracle for Today (Preview) Today I love the life I have. How about that? Thank you all for your wisdom and everlasting patience. I am the daughter and exwife of alcoholics. Slowly I got better. Today is a good one. So thankful!	Jill	6	255	Nov 25, 2012 by Pushka
	tried detaching with love (Preview) I know I need alot of help because occassionally I can do it - detach with love- but otherwise I am angry, sad or numb, like today. My A spouse is on her best behavior today. We had one of those great talks where it wasn't fighting, I stayed calm, she heard me, and she wants to try. Today she is calling me ev...	Lyne	2	527	Nov 25, 2012 by Pushka
	Al-anonfavorite slogan time again! (Preview) I need slogans for my wall. I have a bunch, but I know there are more out there. Anyone with slogans please share them with me. Thanks and happy turkey day to all! Here is what I have on my wall now, Any new ones out there? "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you ca...	Breakingfree	7	772	Nov 25, 2012 by Lyne
	lost (Preview) my mother just passed away at 2:40 pm today she has been through 13 yrs dialisis and lots of surgeries,she suffered long,im happy for her but im sad for me for im gonna miss that woman,she was truely the best mom anyone would wantbut i was finnaly able and had to let her go,now for me time to reroute my life m...	chinup	9	276	Nov 24, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Lost and alone (Preview) I'm looking for help I'm so lost and alone atm, my hub drinks every weekend to the point he can't talk in the morning, he stays up all night drinking and on the computer. Over the 13 yrs I have learnt to stay out the way and to not say anting that will upset him. I have talked to him when he is sober on how I feel an...	Carlisle	8	482	Nov 24, 2012 by Geo
	Happy Thanksgiving Family (Preview) I know and remember a time when that love wish would make me sick and I'd want to leave the room and then in the same memory I would also remember finding the Al-Anon Family Groups and the promise of peace of mind and serenity. I learned about choices especially the choices to choose the Opposites. Whil...	Jerry F	3	363	Nov 24, 2012 by Jozie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.