The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There are many suffering codependents and adult children in AA. I believe it is these issues that caused Bill Wilson to suffer with depression for the rest of his life. He did not have the support of other fellowships. I don't think he ever thought of joinging Alanon - and Alanon slept right next to him every night!
Anyway, these people in Aa I'm describing are like me. They drank for a time but once the alcohol is removed it's the Alanon issues that can kill them.
We AAs with these issues get so rigidly afraid to do anything other than AA that we sit in only those meetings dying of relationship problems and depression and denial, not evenknowing or half- wondering if Alanon is the next piece of our journey that we need.
I had no idea I qualified to be in Alanon. But now I see that these issues led me to drink and they are the biggies that hung around long after I was sober.
I'm grateful for my last AA sponsor who suggested many times I try Alanon. He did all the programs there are over 35 years.
Aloha Working...I included AA in my journey of recovery after 9 years of being Alcohol free in Al-Anon. I'm the kind of braile walker and even when my sponsorship made the suggestion I failed to act until HP opened the door the way HP opens the door. I is what it is and now I've got less of a worry about relapse.
All Al-Anon meetings I've ever attended have been open meetings so AA's can come in and find a chair...they still have the same traditions to keep the programs on purpose. We're often referred to as "doubles" and then whatever...as long as I'm peaceful and serene, happy joyous and free.
Thanks Jerry. It took me some time to understand the traditions and principles. I see people break them all the time but I usually don't say anything. I never want to embarass anyone in any meeting, that can feel like humiliation to many of us. I was thinking of this yesterday, how I went to a meeting once and a young kid, new guy, shared from his seat for about 15 minutes. After he was done, someone with years of recovery said in her share, "There's only one speaker at a meeting." The kids' face got all red. I never saw him again at that meeting. She was cross-talking and had no love, patience or tolerance. I stand up for traditions and principles only if it's not to punish anyone.
I can identify with this one too. Codependency is/was as big a problem as alcohol for me. Participating in alanon does a lot for me. It has a much clearer focus on boundaries and self-care. I be careful not to label myself too much or spread myself too thin amongst different fellowships though. I joke that if I get involved in 1 more 12 step fellowship, I will become so anonymous I might turn invisible.
Technically, I do believe that all the issues faced by alcoholics can be addressed in AA with a good sponsor, but the problem is finding a sponsor that has the exact ESH you need and it could take longer to gain the insight that you might from just attending other meetings.
I am a recovering alcoholic just starting Al-Anon. 22 years sober and just coming to terms with ACA issues that refuse to go away. Ive been sick in self for so many years that its become somewhat normal for me. Ive had a few sponsors over the year, but only the one Ive got now picked up on my need to do this. And so I am. Im looking forward to the journey. Its been far too long dealing with all the pain. Hell, at nearly 50, I still duck when someone jokingly raises their hand at me. They usually feel bad about it later, but I cant explain it, theyd never understand.
