Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control - rigid, cool.  Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside.  Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped.

Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living.  The first thing that had to go was the control over others - it simply doesn't work.  Trying to be in control is an effective method of keeping loved ones at a distance.  Instead, I admitted that I am powerless over others.  Then I had to begin to put away the "lookin' good" facade in order to share my feelings at meetings.  And one fine day I picked up the One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT) book and read the pages on "martyrdom."  I became uncomfortably aware that my "do-gooder" role often masked a martyr. 

Becoming more human has been difficult and frightening at time, but being more genuine allows me to have real relationships, real communication, and real happiness.

Today's Reminder

Today I can risk being myself.  I don't have to live up to anyone's image.  All I have to do is be me.

"As I surrendered my imaginary power over others, I gained a more realistic view of my own life."

Al-Anon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics