Good morning everyone,

I'm brand new to all of this, so forgive me if my questions seem a bit pointed. My story goes thus: I met my husband in June of 2011. At the time, he was in a recovery program for alcohol and had three months sobriety after battling his addiction for over a decade. We married in February of 2012, and he was still sober. He had been going to AA meetings and spending time with his sponsor, but gradually stopped doing that. He assured me that he was doing fine, and that the AA meetings were devolving into childish popularity contests and whatnot and doing more harm than good. I suggested other meetings, but he said he didn't need them anymore. I figured it was his choice and let him decide what he needed or didn't need.

About four weeks ago, he relapsed heavily into drinking. He had just taken a new job that came with a much bigger paycheck than his previous one, but also came with a lot more stress and longer hours. The anxiety overtook him, and he turned back to the bottle. With the drink came a lot of behaviors that he had told me about from his past - the lying, the cheating, the hiding of alcohol and money in hidey-holes around the house, more lying, more secrets, other destructive actions. I have very little experience with alcoholism, so I didn't really know how to proceed. He said the beer calmed him down and made it so he could sleep. He said he would only have a little, but then I found the remnants of a lot in the trash. I tried being understanding and patient, then I tried being tough and unwavering, and nothing seemed to work. He went to a couple of meetings but nothing consistent. The drinking made him ill and he lost the new job right away. He turned into a big jerk, spent all of our Christmas savings on alcohol and porn, and manipulated my feelings until I was nearly convinced that this was all my fault. I'm a bit at a loss at this point.

He has been to a meeting a day for the past few days. He's seeking help from a professional counselor, and he has gotten back in touch with his old sponsor. He's working toward staying sober again. He went back to his old job part time, which was comfortable and familiar and supportive. I'm confident that he is on a good path at this point. What I'm not confident about is how I fit into all this, and what the best course of action for me is at this point.

I am looking into Al-Anon meetings in my area. What I would also need at this point is literature. I am not Christian, so I would be looking for materials that don't have much of a religious bent. I'm not averse to it, but I need some support that is not based in religion. I hope that doesn't sound judgmental. :) I have a very healthy respect for religion. Do you guys have a good recommendation for my situation?

I'm glad I found this forum. Reading others' stories reassures me that I'm not alone in this struggle. You've all been where I am, and just knowing that my frustrations aren't my own is helpful. Thank you for being here.

Tricia