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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Shelter? Scared.
Post Info TOPIC: Shelter? Scared.
WorkingThroughIt


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Shelter? Scared.
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This morning I have begun to think that being controlled by sick parents who tell me not to protect myself is the same thing as living with an abusive husband.

I believe this is why I'm entertaining the thought of going to a shleter.

I believe God has allowed all my things to be destroyed by toxic mold in an apartment because i refused to listen to Him and asked my parents again to pay for an apt for me. I did not have the financial means to even put my things in a storage bin and get a single room anywhere, did not have the $ to even get a moving truck. So God (ME, since God is inside of us) chose the apartment and when my things were destroyed my father threatened that I better not contact the landlord of do anything about it, that he would handle it, and my father is doling out little band-aids of money to me here and there that are not the solution. I have lost thousands of dollars of items and the computer has to go too. I am getting sicker and am sleeping in a mold-infested bed, had to throw out a whole lifetime of things that meant a lot to me, everything I had acquired. 

Today even though I'm telling my parents I can't walk due to neurological leg pain and I keep re-infecting and cross-contaminating by going from car to house, and I'm angry and depressed and my program of recovery is suffering, my father can't hear me. he threatens me to not stand up for or protect my security, health or self-esteem and doles out little "fixes" for this problem like $500 here or there for a vacuum or cleaning products, but will not really discuss the facts of how devastating it is. He just keeps travelling and being with his flashy friends and enjoying his big reputation. Each passing day I get sicker and sicker.

Aren't I being controlled by sick abusive people? Shouldn't I go to a shelter? I don't even know if one will accept me.

If I do what God wants me to, God will take care of me. I'm a big girl. I have discernment and relationship tools. I cannot afford to become physically unhealthy - people with toxic mold poisoning end up with all kinds of horrific problems.



-- Edited by WorkingThroughIt on Wednesday 28th of November 2012 09:08:46 AM

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Breakingfree


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If you think you have mold poisoning, I would ask that you go to a hospital and get checked out and fnd out if you are in fact okay first. First things first. Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
pinkchip


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Don't be afraid to ask for help. Case workers and therapist are meant to help us throught he tough times. God will take care of you but God works through people too. Not everyone is bad or trying to hurt you. Try looking for supportive and helpful resources where you can. Some may be in the form of a shelter - You will not be alone there and there may be folks that can aid you to negotiate getting to a better spot little by little.

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Breakingfree


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I agree with pinkchip, I had to ask for help in so many ways and am so much better now for it. That is why we are here to help each other however we can. Sending you much love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Debilyn


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Ok first I agree with b free. When we are sick we MUST get to doctor. If it is that bad there YOU are sick, no question. GET OUT OF THERE NOW! mold can kill you. I have seen it first hand!

Call the housing department asap.I know I am giving advice and telling you what to do but I have a bad feeling you are too sick to make the right decisions!

You do not have to go to a shelter. That landlord has to put you in a hotel AND pay for all your stuff. Dept of human services can help you to know what to do also. He will have to give you money like double or more the rent too. You have to go to court but this is ez.

Its hard to be alone with no one to help you if you don't know about these things. IF you need direction and want it, please pm me. I can even do the calling for you. I would give you my private email first then call you if you want me to.

Been here many years honey and sometime people, you and others need hands on face to face help. All you have to do is ask. one person left years ago and many of us helped him get on his feet.

Please take me seriously. I will check back. there is no way your stuff can be that bad with out you being very sick.

hoping, and humbly asking you to allow me to help more than the usual support! love debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Mattie


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If your dad and his advice are sick -- and that's obviously true -- then his advice not to go through the landlord is sick.  I think the landlord would be first port of call.  The landlord may not want to do anything about it, I don't know.  But as others have pointed out, he may have a legal obligation, and that law is there for you.  For just this type of situation.  There is also the matter of the next person who rents the apartment.  Your primary duty is to you, but if pressing this with the landlord would help keep another person from going through this, that is another reason to press the landlord.  He should at the very least have a different, mold-free apartment that you can live in.  And you should not lose the money you paid in rent, because the apartment is uninhabitable.  If I were in your shoes, I would look for a lawyer that takes cases like this on a percentage basis (so you don't have to pay up front), or who does legal aid.  Sometimes we have to fight extra hard for our rights, and that's tiring, but you do have rights.  Take good care of yourself!



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WorkingThroughIt


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Thanks you guys. As my sponsor reminded me today, my father's fear comes in and takes over the situation. I have a lot of fear too (esp in the morning) and I was feeling stuck, like nowhere was safe.

Sometimes I forget all my tools (the number one being trusting God and letting go.)

Something must have happened because a while ago my father called me and said he understands and believes me. He is in fact going to seek recourse from the former landlord. I am in a safe place now and my main priority is getting to a meeting tonight.i

Thanks again you guys!

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MeTwo2


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A share of my own experience only .. As one who grew up hearing of how God is in me, it was hard when i came to alanon to separate the idea .. It took me a long time before I recognised although God may be in me, God in fact is not me; I am not my higher power
I'm glad your dad has seem to come around .. Take care and keep coming and sharing .. (( hugs ))

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WorkingThroughIt


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You knew where God was the whole time? I had to search and search!

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