The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's so sad when I had a good week with my son over for Thanksgiving and all was good. Like I said he is going to lose everything and be on the streets so I told him I would front him the money for rent if he got any job. Well I guess I made a mistake AGAIN. He was drunk this morning when he called. Why do I think he will be different and get help. WHY WHY WHY!!!
I still need so much help to let go of him. I pray he just doesn't call me anymore.
Sad day for me.....I need so much to pray for help to get through this and move on
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
It's what we do .. it's normal to think when moments of sobriety come somehow the situation has changed .. what i'm recognising is nothing changes if nothing changes .. even with my own addict .. i remember one day in the kitchen (after he lost his fight with own addiction behaviors and left us) .. he came back to visit our daughters and i was watching his behavior getting worse and worse .. i looked at him and was thinking to myself boy has he changed for the worst .. the reality was he didn't change .. this is who he's always been, but I couldn't see it when i was in it .. it was emotionally toxic for me .. the longer i'm out of it, i can see it clearer .. it never ceased to amaze me for awhile how surprised i would be in my thinking he's changed .. but i know the work it takes to change .. i work the steps and really put myself into it .. my changes have been steady but never like magic and never overnight .. it's such a baffling disease .. i will never beat it on my own intelligence .. best i can do is keep turning the me into we and keep sharing on .. the progress is the more i recognise the disease, the less surprised i become; even by me who am also effected by the disease .. In my prayers too ~
my alcoholic has just come out of a nine month bender.
For years I loved him to death. I could not bear to watch him destroying his life, I though his disease and wanted to motivate him to fight it.
two years ago I broke and I surrendered. I started to take better care of myself and hand him over.
Today I have a boundary for my helth I will not be around him when active. whe he picked up six months ago I asked him to leave not to make him stop but to protect myself and for him to know that to day I mean what I say no more ideal threats.
He left and his mother god love her picked up where I left off, but she doea not have al anon and became very ill, she loves him so much. In the end the family kicked him out of his mothers she ended up in hospital with a burst ulcer. he was on the streets ringing me he never had any enablers left. I told him I loved him but could not watch him kill himself.
He went back to AA, I find tough love hard very hard but today I have learnt that when I try to help him I am really helping the disease. My partner has been sober again for 3 months and is working, he has moved back in and is attending meetings and has a sponsor. there is always hope. When we let go HP steps in but we have to trust first.
Some alcoholics just keep going, but I can not play a part in feeding this disease today.
When the A is active I treble my meetings and take my al anon medicine then my answers come.
