The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I worked my way through Step Four, I listed my character traits as honestly and fearlessly as I could. I was struck by a great irony: Many things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - turned out to be the causes of my misery! And those traits I had always ignored - talent, optimism, self-discipline - turned out to be my truly positive qualities. It was as though, through the power of this Step, I had found a way to turn my upside-down personality right-side up.
I still struggle to keep it all from turning over once again. But when I see myself clearly, I have a sense of wholeness and a feeling of pride and peace. I can be happy to be myself now that I know who I am.
Todays Reminder
My life is in a constant state of change. Awareness allows me to keep pace with that change. Today let me listen to my words and watch my actions. Only by knowing the person I am can I create the person I want to become.
"Each man must look to himself to teach him the meaning of life. It is not something discovered: it is something molded."
Thanks Tracey, this is indeed a great reading and oh so true. When I first worked this Step I was terrified to"look within" I had spent all my life looking at others and judging them that I had not turned the light inward. I thought that all I would find was someone filled with anger, resentment, self pity and fear. Who wanted to see that!!!
My sponsor assured me that deep down there were many positive attributes and that I needed to see these and acknowledge them in order to become whole. I then borrowed some courage from the program and looked.
By examining my motives I revealed some defects that, as the reading suggest, were defects hiding behind the smoke screen of "helping people". Much to my surprise I also found hidden assets such as, kindness, compassion, honesty, empathy, generosity, intelligent, competent etc.
Step 4 gave me a special reward. It gave me permission to shed my need to be perfect and to join the human race and become human. . What a gift that has turned out to be.
I love the Recovery I received by working the Steps .
