New to Al-anon - Al-Anon Family Group

adamsmea · Newbie

New to Al-anon

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Meagan

It appears you have many questions. I suggest that you check out the official answers to your questions by going to:

Alanon World Service Web Site The answers to each of your questions can be found there

Resources

Member survey

Press Release

Media Kit

Public Service Announcement

Al-Anon's newest book

http://www.alanon-maryland.org/baltimore-contacts/world-service-office-wso/

Good Luck

-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 27th of November 2012 09:01:40 PM

-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 27th of November 2012 09:03:08 PM

-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 27th of November 2012 10:13:21 PM

slogan_jim · Senior Member

Hi Meagan,

I'd be glad to answer some of your questions. These are my views and are not applicable to every member.

1.) I have found that the biggest benefit to joining al-anon is friendship. It is exciting going to a place where people look forward to listening to what you have to say, no one is judging you, sizing you up, it doesn't matter what you do or how much money you make. We are all together to support each other in dealing with the alcoholism of a friend or relative. Another benefit is the opportunity that it allows for me to get to know myself better which is something I didn't get to do much seeing as most of my focus was on the alcoholic and putting on a mask to cover up whatever I was feeling.

2.) That depends. How much work are you willing to put into fixing them? I noticed that the more I changed, the more the alcoholic changed. As I learned to detach with love, the alcoholic realized they could no longer use me as a crutch that would enable them to keep drinking.

3.) The peace of mind and serenity that comes with knowing that I didn't cause it, can't cure it and can't control it. Sharing my feelings and experiences has allowed me to be at peace with myself and the disease that has afflicted 3 generations of my family.

4.)None.

5.)I cannot.

6.) This will depend on the person. What makes it successful for ME are the things described in questions 1,2 and 3.

7.) You cannot force anyone to attend a meeting. If you 'bring' someone along and they didn't ask you, they will likely just go through the motions and never return until they are ready. In my experience, the ones who tend to embrace the program are the people who make the choice for themselves to attend.

8.) When you decide they aren't. However, one thing they say in Al-Anon is 'You can stop coming and we will gladly refund your misery' :)

9.) The program can only help your entire family if they each choose for themselves to want to heal from the wounds. You as a person cannot fix anyone or cure or any relationship you aren't a part of. This program will allow you to focus on you and the role you can play in healing the family.

10.) No, al-anon is anonymous and prides on it's anonymity. You don't even have to give your real name at the meeting. Share whatever you feel you need to move past the effects of this disease. The rooms of Al-Anon are non-judgemental and it take a lot of courage to walk through those doors. Chances are more people have been through what you have than you think.

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

1. What are the benefits to joining Al-anon? I found a place and people that undertsood me like noone else could.

2. How will it improve my family relationships? I was clueless how living with alchoholics affected me, it teaches me a different approach, i have learnt humility, honesty,integrity and self awareness.

3. What have you found most helpful in your treatment? I am happier I can tackle things alot more easily, it has helped me become stronger I love being part of something I trust in whole heartedly and belive in.

4. How big of a role does religion play in the Al-anon process? I had problems with this in the beginning could not get my head around how believing in something could make my life any better, just kept thinking and trying and wondering how that could take the pain away, for me it's a spiritual thing, collectively there is a strength and support here that works for me, I am part of that I belive and greatful I qualified to experience such a deep connection, with people that are anonimous to me yet I have alove for them so deep.

5. Can you offer an alternative source for faith other than religion? Change belief in ones self, become your own source, and it will come to you.

6. What makes the program the most successful? It's apersonal thing it might not work for everyone some might not like it, I love it and it works for me, nothing to lose by trying it.

7. Is it helpful or the opposite to bring family members along to meetings? It is about me not anyone else, if someone sees a change in me they like who knows they may want to know how or why I am changing, in that case I would be happy to share why, but really it's up to others to help them selves.

8. How do you know when the meetings arent necessary anymore? Lol how long is a peaice of string, if your like me a couple of meetings and you think you cracked it, then i go down hill faster, there is a magic in the rooms I can't explain, on the days I have felt my lowest I have always come away with more than I have gone in with, a problem shared kind of thing.

9. My mother is an alcoholic and her illness affects my entire family how will the program help in this area? It gives me a very indepth understanding of addiction, it taught me to separate the person from the addiction, addicts need rescuers and co dependents, it taught me tough love.

10 Is there anything that you should avoid sharing in Al-anon meetings? I would be care ful to respect the anonimity of my alchoholic,s,

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Thank-you,

Meagan

love from

Katy

x

__________________

-- Edited by canadianguy on Wednesday 28th of November 2012 12:30:30 PM

adamsmea · Newbie

Thank-you very much I truly appreciate you taking the time to do that for me

.

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

adamsmea wrote:
Hi Meagan,

I like filling in forms etc- happy to do this and for you to copy and paste.

1.     What are the benefits to joining Al-anon?
Many- it is virtually free- it is self supporting. It is only as good as the people who are in it. Including me.

2.     How will it improve my family relationships?

To be honest some family relationships soured because i 'outed' another famiy member as an alcoholic. Alanon is strictly anonymous but in the small town where i live it was impossibe to hide where I went to certain nights.
For my own kids and grand-kids the improvement had been huge- in their prospects for life.

3.     What have you found most helpful in your treatment?
Alanon is not treatment at all.
It works through each members contributions. Feeling alive, being alive, is most helpful.
Alanon offer long term support. It taught me to trust people.

I would say most people and groups would 'refer' to outside treatment and help. And we in Alanon would hope that outsiders and professionals would refer people to us. Both work together.

4.     How big of a role does religion play in the Al-anon process?
None. Some members are religious, and some not. It is spiritual, in a sense.

5.     Can you offer an alternative source for faith other than religion?
Alanon basically encourages people to explore issues of faith. But in doing so it is neutral to any philosophy or religion.

6.     What makes the program the most successful?

it is regular- always there, voluntary...

7.     Is it helpful or the opposite to bring family members along to meetings?

Short answer- it depends. I think most people come along and stay because they have reached a defining moment in their life.
Rock bottom, in other words. The other family members may not be at this point- there are various shades of acceptance, and denial.

Well, that was the long answer... beside that I would generally answer yes to your question.

8.     How do you know when the meetings arent necessary anymore?

Some people stay in there for a long time- many of these have taken on service and support roles.
Some people come along, make an enquiry, and move on. it varies a lot.

9.     My mother is an alcoholic and her illness affects my entire family how will the program help in this area?
it firstly teaches that it is an illness. Some of us go to great lengths to solve the issues that the illness creates and have to learn to cope in other ways- hand it over. I think every family member reacts in lots of different ways. Looking at the various family roles might be helpful.

10 Is there anything that you should avoid sharing in Al-anon meetings?
Mostly people will get a sponsor, someone you can unload to. At some smaller meetings, once you know everyone, it may be possible to share almost anything.
Everyone has been there too, one way or another so no secret will surprise anyone.

These are my personal opinions. Alanon has no opinions on outside issues.
Any other questions- just fire ahead. I have been a proud Alanon member for 31 years.

cheers,
DavidG.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.