Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tigger · Tigger

hey friends,my eye is feeling sore (a virus) so i dont want to chair tonight. i just need to go to bed.ive messaged a few people so i hope someone will cover for me.sorry,tigger x

Tracey C · Tracey C

I've learned to accept that my loved one's sobriey is literally "One Day at a Time." I've learned to let go when she's sober, and detach when she's not. Today is one of those in between days that I need to manage differently. She's struggling in her sobriety and I want to reach out to help. ...

John · John

I just found this video while on YouTube and it just kinda hit me, so I thought I would share it. I feel its a good one. I like the last sentence..."I've made up your mind". LOL Lyrics- Call Me When You're Sober" Don't cry to me.If you loved me,You would be her...

cinders · cinders

I had such a crazy day at work. Doing evaluations on 11 employees can be exhausting and overwhelming. I want to give these the attention they deserve because they are so important to the folks I work with, but honestly, I hate doing them. There are only so many ways you can change how you say something...

4kidsmama · 4kidsmama

Why does my now sober AH hurtful words STILL break my heart?! Why does his comments of my cooking, cleaning, etc still hurt? Why can't I seem to develop a thicker skin? I'm calming down sooner than I did in the past. I don't get defensive and start shooting nasty comments back all the time (emphasis o...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am afraid of imtimacy. It is like I want people to be close and then I push them away. It even affects my sex life with my husband at times (not always) - I am afraid to be so intimate that we are "one" you know? I think it is because of how I was raised. I was also sexually abused as a child and al...

John · John

Pushka · Pushka

The kids and I had an amazing day. Soooo much fun, it is nice to just let go of all this garbage and start living again. I know I get into binge thinking and that just really trips me up. My daughter went and took her tennis lessons had a BLAST!!! She is getting signed up and thanks be to some very special...

Jerry F · Jerry F

you will find help. Each and everytime I hear that repeated at the closing of our face to face meetings I become grateful again because that promise was the first miracle of recovery that I received. Aloha all and thank you for being in my life. This is now the near end of February 8th which I acknowl...

tortuga · tortuga

Good morning MiP when I look back at my past relationships, i often found JEALOUSY a common negative thought and emotion that has been sitting in me...and it has sabotaged many situations. and blinded me and misleaded me. I want to work on that for the future. I know it is related to fear and anger... I kn...

cinders · cinders

So I learned the hard way this week that all the stress, anxiety and years of emotional pain from living with an A can have medical consequences to your own body. Went to see the dr and my blood pressure is so sky high that it i causing some damage to my body. My dr who has walked through the emotional part...

rehprof · rehprof

On Monday, my Dad took my 16 yo to an appointment (bc the exA couldn't do it...AGAIN). My Dad is 79. He has replaced my well pump, fixed electrical problems, and on monday he brought me newspaper, kindling, and 1/2 cord of wood...because I was out of firewood. So despite the terrible weather, and fear of...

Pushka · Pushka

Lots of good news happening, I think the money is going to be released sooner than later. I also think that my STBAX has done something INCREDIBLY stupid and filed without me. If he has he's in a whole world of doo doo in ways that will boggle his mind. The other issue is the child support and maintenanc...

pixie · pixie

Has anyone had to deal with dementia/alzheimers with their alcoholic.My husband has been acting like he's in the early stages.I have the utmost compassion for anyone with these problems but if his is caused by the drinking I have no compassion for him and am finding it hard to deal with it.He's just an...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52580578/step-9-alanon/

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

He woke up this morning and promised up and down that it would never happen again, but the difference this time is he said, "I'm not checking into a hospital, but I do need help". WOW! He has never said those words before, so I am encouraged. He has been to a few meetings in the recent months, but...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hello, it's me again, Allie. I am trying to be forgiving toward my friend, who lives with me. He went out today and forgot to call me. I don't like checking on him, believe me. But he forgot to call at his usual time and he's been ill. I left him a text and he called back immediately, angry at me for bothering h...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling real down lately... I have many things that have been troubling me lately and I've been living them and making them my story. I've caught myself during the last couple weeks of this grieving process that I'm going through smiling and telling people I'm doing well. Then when I went to a...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

For the second time in 2 years he is back in jail for alcohol related stupidity. We were unable to live together months ago due to the alcohol related drama, verbal abuse, threats, damaged property and physical abuse. When sober he was a different person, like Jeckel and Hyde. We tried to make it work d...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Most days I'm able to get myself out of the dumps, by praying, or doing something nice for myself. I don't even feel that I can do that today. I am so overwhelmed by so much today. My AH has been a bear all week...playing his typical passive aggressive role of victim. My son, whose friend past away in Se...

milkwood · milkwood

I read my horoscope this morning and somehow it seems appropriate to share it with you all: "For some reason we seem to imagine that miracles need to be dramatic. They must involve things we weren't expecting, things we can't explain, things that somehow make no sense. But is a flower not a miracl...

SaRw · SaRw

Stop the roller coaster. I want to get off! Up until September of this year, my AH was extremely functional. Up until then, I wouldn't have thought he was an A. Now I know better. Just before Thanksgiving, he admitted to me that he couldn't stop drinking. He asked me to help him find help. We found a...

imom · imom

Ever since I began moving forward with my own life, filed for divorce, and my HP intervened with a whopping incident causing major change, things have been changing very fast. My A is leaving for a treatment center tomorrow (God willing). I am still skeptical that he actually makes it there. I hav...

britbug · britbug

I come from a long line of alcholics & addicts - uncles, grandfathers, father, 2 brothers, 1 sister... My 25 year old brother died December 15, 2011 of liver failure after living for years addicted to mainly alcohol and opiates. 2 weeks later I began working as a substance abuse counselor for most...

PP · PP

Becasue I have a hard time saying no and diappointing people, I am feeling anxious and unable to concentrate on preparation for a class I am teaching on Sat, which I am already anxious about. I am worried I will flub it up for sure now! Here is the situation: We filed chapter 13 last year to release 2 re...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

Trying so hard today to work the program. Received text messages and voice mails when I got up all from 1-3 a.m. You know the times. When the A is out and could care less others need sleep and work. Several months ago I put the phone on vibrate and leave in another room far from our bedroom. I've told ou...

pixie · pixie

I'm new to Al-non but have thought about joining for years.My husband of almost 29 years is an alcoholic in denial.He's a great provider with a good job but that's where it ends.He doesn't drink anything but beer but he's up to over a gallon most days,more if he's off work that day.It's terrible when he h...

dwest26 · dwest26

Hi. I'm 27 years old, and my husband is 38 years old. We have to beautiful children. 5 year old son, and 3 year old daughter. I met my husband when I was 18, and he was 28. I knew he was a drug addict (he was on drug offenders probation), but love was love, and I knew what I was in for. Previously before his arres...

lissa34 · lissa34

I swear sometimes I feel like I can't be knocked down any further! Finally decide to go to a face to face meeting. Takes lots of planning with an 18 month baby! They no longer have that meeting due to not enough interest but is still listed on the Alanon website. I feel like I am constantly pulling myself...

el-cee · el-cee

my sponsor said 'many are called a few are chosen' struck a chord with me. alanon is such a fabulous program, it is changing my life. why do some people not 'get' it and why did i not get it sooner? could have saved so much misery.

canadianguy · canadianguy

Our program gently guides us to allow our A's to reap the consequences of their behaviors, and that we cannot continue to offer 'soft landings' for them all the time.... I had a friend from my childhood, who became a drug addict.... he was on the street for several years, and had lied & disappointe...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, I have lots of options and I'm not sure what to do at this point. None of the choices are going to have pretty outcomes and honestly I'm to frustrated to care. I am powerless over other people's involvement when it comes to my STBAX's crazy behavior. They don't get it and I'm waiting for a 911 situ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As I'm letting go of my son I find I have nothing to do anymore. No more late night calls, not hospitals or detox centers, no spending money or taking him somewhere or picking him up or talking and arguing, no visits so he won't drink, no making him come to my house so he won't drink. No craziness. I"...

cmd309 · cmd309

I want to trust my AH again but fear I am hoping for something impossible. I have this idea in my mind, a fantasy maybe, of having a husband that goes out with the guys and comes home at a decent time, who contributes money to the relationship rather than spend everything he makes plus what I make ... someon...

Sinneslust · Sinneslust

I am fresh into a relationship (1.5 months) with a freshly recovering addict (6 months sober). I have been told the dangers of dating someone so early in their recovery and have read countless stories (both bad and good) about doing so. I have heard the tales of emotional rollercoasters and being held...

soozin12 · soozin12

Of course I found myself thinking my AH can change but as with any expectation that leads to disappointment. After over 2 years off him being off drugs-he is still drinking so i dont call him sober even though he considers himself to be in recovery-he doesnt come home last night and I discover an ATM wi...

Minaret · Minaret

What I mean by this is that...when my AH is drunk and being an ass, and angry at the kids and everything is chaos and I want to leave him forever...and then the next day comes and he is sober for a day and somewhat nice and things go much better overall, then I feel guilty that I had feelings of leaving him...t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I read that 90% of people in 12-step recovery can identify with self-sabotage. Not necessarily with substances but EMOTIONAL Self-sabotage. What are your experiences on why we do this and how to stop repeating it?

AngieP · AngieP

My sober Abf was in a wreck tonight. He shouldn't have even been driving, but I no longer live there. He is 3 weeks out of back surgery - fusing 3 vertibra. Instead of being thankful he is safe & no damage was done to his back or no new damage was added - he is ANGRY that they discharged him with no new narc...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Why do we put ourselves in the position to be harmed? I know today I invited people into my life who were the most troubled people in society...I did that to myself because I wanted to victimize myself and I didn't know any better. I made myself a "victim", always blaming others for their own s...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Al-Anon Family :) Sorry its been So Long! I've had my Share of Tragity Mixed with some Magical Moments, which seems to be the story of my life here of late, but Still taking it Day by Day... Moment by Moment... And at times Second by second! I was sitting here in my Pity Pot Yesterday & For what eve...

tortuga · tortuga

Hey all, i thought I would come here and share my care program, that I have tailored around my own Self. I first felt quite unusual you know, I am VERY good at caring for others, yet when I turned that around and started nurturuing myself, it felt odd: a little bit of guilt, that feeling to be selfish... bu...

newwoman · newwoman

I received a letter from my A who is away at rehab. In the letter and I quote "I operate in a practical, business and organized approach. That may be when your feel pushed away because at that time we are operating in different worlds." (Which is based on the left side of my brain not working mos...

jackic · jackic

I am still trying to find a meeting that will fit into my schedule but I could really use some help now. I am an aa member ( actually celebrating my 6 year anniversary today!). I recently went backt to the west coast to visit my parents. My father is an alcoholic. I stayed in a hotel because of his drinking. I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH's mom passed away a little over a week ago. She died suddenly and was found by the police on the bedroom floor. She had been there for a few days based on the decomposition of the body and both AH's brother and sister are dealing with a ton of guilt because they hadn't been checking up on her. Anyway, A...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I just need to share tonight. Nearly three weeks ago, I posted a couple of times. I was feeling so smart and empowered by what I was learning at Al-Anon. I made good healthy steps and difficult choices. I stopped arguing with him, mostly, when I knew he'd been drinking. I tried to listen more fully to him w...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello all, I have only posted on here 2 times before and your responses helped me so much. Here I am again, back with my alcoholic boyfriend. I left him in April due to cheating and I ended up taking him back in July because his daughter came to town for the summer and I love her. He did go to AA that summer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I figure that some days are bad days & some are good. I don't delude myself thinking that every day will be rosey. I still fight w/ the insanity sometimes but it is nowhere near what it used to be. My focus will be better. My load will be lifted. I don't want to be over-whelmed anymore. I have a very suppo...

LosingItAll · LosingItAll

I am a first time poster to this forum...My husband is currently in recovery. His drinking and drug days came to a stop with a DUI. Living with him has became increasingly more difficult. The moods swing from all so happy to I would rather leave then try to deal with this. I myself have began to feel this...

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH went to a doctor that is now been treating him for BiPolar disorder for two months now. First month he drank heavy with the med and things were the same ..tho he said He felt "happy" he was stoned with the combo of booze and pills. I called the office manager and informed her of his alcohlic...

Pushka · Pushka

You know the whole if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have ANY luck .. LOL! Well .. I'm kind of dealing with that at the moment. Well .. I DID file a report with the sheriff's department and I have court. In doing so I was let go from my job, I had to totally laugh. I think that this is really ok. Knowin...

John · John

*****************************Q. What does a codependent have in common with God? >A. They both have a plan for your life.************ -- Edited by John on Monday 4th of February 2013 08:07:53 PM

imom · imom

When I first started alanon, I was very skeptical of a higher power. I wanted to believe but I was sure I had to help control the situation. I have been praying and hoping and praying some more...even talking out loud to my HP to intervene before my A kills himself or someone else. Last night it happene...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son is on a binge again. I was watching a program called Drugged about a young 29 yo man that was addicted to Alcohol. He agreed to go into rehab but only lasted 17 days before his young life was taken. I couldn't stop crying. I can't help but think this is what's next for my son. I feel because I can't...

cinders · cinders

I keep telling myself that I am doing ok with everything, the move, divorce and being alone, but in part I think I am lying to myself. I don't know that I am as ok as I say that I am. I see my family and friends happy in their lives, things going well for them and they are moving forward doing new things for the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just need a moment to reflect. I have been in & out of sanity a lot in my life but have managed to survive all of it thanks to my Higher Power. These days I have been hanging by a string w/ my mind. I feel so bad about not being strong-minded. I won't beat myself up though. I don't know when I am going to get b...

livestrong · livestrong

Hello this is my first time here and looking for comfort and to get the courage I need. Well, alcoholisim is no stranger to me. My dad was an alcoholic and as I read in some of the other forums here as kids we always knew how good or bad our night was going to be depending on my fathers mood. So I grew up living i...

starryeyed · starryeyed

I've been with my husband for a year and a half. We've been married for the past six months now. There have been so many red flags the whole time we've been together and I turned a blind eye and just went along with it, for reasons I don't quite understand. I was in recovery when we met and started dating, the...

newwoman · newwoman

This program is tricky because you never know for sure if you are accepting things you can't change or if you need to have courage and move on. The wisdom to know the difference will creep up on you and then sock you in the face. The statement above was posted in another post. However, it hit me right betw...

Pushka · Pushka

Well it has been a week to say the least. I have been flat on my back sick and that hasn't helped things. I felt like a mack truck hit me rolled backwards and hit me again. This is def a HALTS issues going on. Frustrated doesn't cover it. For the first time my STBAX has threatened me with physical harm. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	i cant do the chair tonight (Preview) hey friends,my eye is feeling sore (a virus) so i dont want to chair tonight. i just need to go to bed.ive messaged a few people so i hope someone will cover for me.sorry,tigger x	Tigger	1	194	Feb 11, 2013 by hotrod
	My lesson in detachment - a man's view (Preview) I've learned to accept that my loved one's sobriey is literally "One Day at a Time." I've learned to let go when she's sober, and detach when she's not. Today is one of those in between days that I need to manage differently. She's struggling in her sobriety and I want to reach out to help. ...	Tracey C	11	580	Feb 11, 2013 by Tracey C
	Call me when you are sober... (Video) (Preview) I just found this video while on YouTube and it just kinda hit me, so I thought I would share it. I feel its a good one. I like the last sentence..."I've made up your mind". LOL Lyrics- Call Me When You're Sober" Don't cry to me.If you loved me,You would be her...	John	2	284	Feb 11, 2013 by Heather 68
	Blessings (Preview) I had such a crazy day at work. Doing evaluations on 11 employees can be exhausting and overwhelming. I want to give these the attention they deserve because they are so important to the folks I work with, but honestly, I hate doing them. There are only so many ways you can change how you say something...	cinders	4	259	Feb 11, 2013 by el-cee
	Hurtful words (Preview) Why does my now sober AH hurtful words STILL break my heart?! Why does his comments of my cooking, cleaning, etc still hurt? Why can't I seem to develop a thicker skin? I'm calming down sooner than I did in the past. I don't get defensive and start shooting nasty comments back all the time (emphasis o...	4kidsmama	9	855	Feb 10, 2013 by Ms S
	if someone gets too close I push them away (Preview) I am afraid of imtimacy. It is like I want people to be close and then I push them away. It even affects my sex life with my husband at times (not always) - I am afraid to be so intimate that we are "one" you know? I think it is because of how I was raised. I was also sexually abused as a child and al...	hope4ever	2	521	Feb 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	Setting Me Free (Video) (Preview)	John	4	300	Feb 10, 2013 by likemyheart
	Terrific Day ... (Preview) The kids and I had an amazing day. Soooo much fun, it is nice to just let go of all this garbage and start living again. I know I get into binge thinking and that just really trips me up. My daughter went and took her tennis lessons had a BLAST!!! She is getting signed up and thanks be to some very special...	Pushka	3	195	Feb 10, 2013 by ilovedogs
	If you keep and open mind... (Preview) you will find help. Each and everytime I hear that repeated at the closing of our face to face meetings I become grateful again because that promise was the first miracle of recovery that I received. Aloha all and thank you for being in my life. This is now the near end of February 8th which I acknowl...	Jerry F	12	613	Feb 10, 2013 by tortuga
	dealing with JEALOUSY? (Preview) Good morning MiP when I look back at my past relationships, i often found JEALOUSY a common negative thought and emotion that has been sitting in me...and it has sabotaged many situations. and blinded me and misleaded me. I want to work on that for the future. I know it is related to fear and anger... I kn...	tortuga	8	813	Feb 10, 2013 by tortuga
	What the stress can do to us (Preview) So I learned the hard way this week that all the stress, anxiety and years of emotional pain from living with an A can have medical consequences to your own body. Went to see the dr and my blood pressure is so sky high that it i causing some damage to my body. My dr who has walked through the emotional part...	cinders	7	504	Feb 10, 2013 by peace2me
	Blizzard Gratitude (Preview) On Monday, my Dad took my 16 yo to an appointment (bc the exA couldn't do it...AGAIN). My Dad is 79. He has replaced my well pump, fixed electrical problems, and on monday he brought me newspaper, kindling, and 1/2 cord of wood...because I was out of firewood. So despite the terrible weather, and fear of...	rehprof	6	228	Feb 10, 2013 by peace2me
	Good NEWS :) (Preview) Lots of good news happening, I think the money is going to be released sooner than later. I also think that my STBAX has done something INCREDIBLY stupid and filed without me. If he has he's in a whole world of doo doo in ways that will boggle his mind. The other issue is the child support and maintenanc...	Pushka	8	294	Feb 10, 2013 by John
	dementia/alzheimers (Preview) Has anyone had to deal with dementia/alzheimers with their alcoholic.My husband has been acting like he's in the early stages.I have the utmost compassion for anyone with these problems but if his is caused by the drinking I have no compassion for him and am finding it hard to deal with it.He's just an...	pixie	7	332	Feb 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	STEP 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52580578/step-9-alanon/	hotrod	0	197	Feb 9, 2013 by hotrod
	AH has finally admitted he needs help (Preview) He woke up this morning and promised up and down that it would never happen again, but the difference this time is he said, "I'm not checking into a hospital, but I do need help". WOW! He has never said those words before, so I am encouraged. He has been to a few meetings in the recent months, but...	ParisMemories	6	413	Feb 9, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Hard time detaching (Preview) Hello, it's me again, Allie. I am trying to be forgiving toward my friend, who lives with me. He went out today and forgot to call me. I don't like checking on him, believe me. But he forgot to call at his usual time and he's been ill. I left him a text and he called back immediately, angry at me for bothering h...	AllieinAlanon	3	413	Feb 9, 2013 by AllieinAlanon
	Practice honesty (Preview) I've been feeling real down lately... I have many things that have been troubling me lately and I've been living them and making them my story. I've caught myself during the last couple weeks of this grieving process that I'm going through smiling and telling people I'm doing well. Then when I went to a...	Aloha	3	270	Feb 9, 2013 by Aloha
	Encouragement needed! (Preview) For the second time in 2 years he is back in jail for alcohol related stupidity. We were unable to live together months ago due to the alcohol related drama, verbal abuse, threats, damaged property and physical abuse. When sober he was a different person, like Jeckel and Hyde. We tried to make it work d...	Heather 68	4	290	Feb 9, 2013 by Heather 68
	I need prayer today. (Preview) Most days I'm able to get myself out of the dumps, by praying, or doing something nice for myself. I don't even feel that I can do that today. I am so overwhelmed by so much today. My AH has been a bear all week...playing his typical passive aggressive role of victim. My son, whose friend past away in Se...	Annie1234	5	395	Feb 9, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Are you made of miracles as well... (Preview) I read my horoscope this morning and somehow it seems appropriate to share it with you all: "For some reason we seem to imagine that miracles need to be dramatic. They must involve things we weren't expecting, things we can't explain, things that somehow make no sense. But is a flower not a miracl...	milkwood	5	543	Feb 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Here we go again. What a crazy ride! (Preview) Stop the roller coaster. I want to get off! Up until September of this year, my AH was extremely functional. Up until then, I wouldn't have thought he was an A. Now I know better. Just before Thanksgiving, he admitted to me that he couldn't stop drinking. He asked me to help him find help. We found a...	SaRw	6	354	Feb 8, 2013 by Tracy
	Uncertainty (Preview) Ever since I began moving forward with my own life, filed for divorce, and my HP intervened with a whopping incident causing major change, things have been changing very fast. My A is leaving for a treatment center tomorrow (God willing). I am still skeptical that he actually makes it there. I hav...	imom	3	352	Feb 8, 2013 by Tracy
	New to Alanon seeking help... (Preview) I come from a long line of alcholics & addicts - uncles, grandfathers, father, 2 brothers, 1 sister... My 25 year old brother died December 15, 2011 of liver failure after living for years addicted to mainly alcohol and opiates. 2 weeks later I began working as a substance abuse counselor for most...	britbug	12	575	Feb 8, 2013 by milkwood
	Want to disarm my anxiety (Preview) Becasue I have a hard time saying no and diappointing people, I am feeling anxious and unable to concentrate on preparation for a class I am teaching on Sat, which I am already anxious about. I am worried I will flub it up for sure now! Here is the situation: We filed chapter 13 last year to release 2 re...	PP	2	273	Feb 8, 2013 by PP
	Trying, Trying, Trying (Preview) Trying so hard today to work the program. Received text messages and voice mails when I got up all from 1-3 a.m. You know the times. When the A is out and could care less others need sleep and work. Several months ago I put the phone on vibrate and leave in another room far from our bedroom. I've told ou...	Afraidparent	3	314	Feb 8, 2013 by lgnutah
	just need to vent (Preview) I'm new to Al-non but have thought about joining for years.My husband of almost 29 years is an alcoholic in denial.He's a great provider with a good job but that's where it ends.He doesn't drink anything but beer but he's up to over a gallon most days,more if he's off work that day.It's terrible when he h...	pixie	4	395	Feb 8, 2013 by abbyalana
	Help! My husband's pain pill addiction is out of control! (Preview) Hi. I'm 27 years old, and my husband is 38 years old. We have to beautiful children. 5 year old son, and 3 year old daughter. I met my husband when I was 18, and he was 28. I knew he was a drug addict (he was on drug offenders probation), but love was love, and I knew what I was in for. Previously before his arres...	dwest26	4	488	Feb 8, 2013 by ParisMemories
	So Frustrating- Am I being punished? (Preview) I swear sometimes I feel like I can't be knocked down any further! Finally decide to go to a face to face meeting. Takes lots of planning with an 18 month baby! They no longer have that meeting due to not enough interest but is still listed on the Alanon website. I feel like I am constantly pulling myself...	lissa34	9	592	Feb 8, 2013 by ParisMemories
	chosen few? (Preview) my sponsor said 'many are called a few are chosen' struck a chord with me. alanon is such a fabulous program, it is changing my life. why do some people not 'get' it and why did i not get it sooner? could have saved so much misery.	el-cee	9	480	Feb 8, 2013 by el-cee
	Tough Love (Preview) Our program gently guides us to allow our A's to reap the consequences of their behaviors, and that we cannot continue to offer 'soft landings' for them all the time.... I had a friend from my childhood, who became a drug addict.... he was on the street for several years, and had lied & disappointe...	canadianguy	12	3936	Feb 8, 2013 by Heather 68
	Overwhelmed (Preview) Well, I have lots of options and I'm not sure what to do at this point. None of the choices are going to have pretty outcomes and honestly I'm to frustrated to care. I am powerless over other people's involvement when it comes to my STBAX's crazy behavior. They don't get it and I'm waiting for a 911 situ...	Pushka	6	297	Feb 8, 2013 by PP
	I'm Lost (Preview) As I'm letting go of my son I find I have nothing to do anymore. No more late night calls, not hospitals or detox centers, no spending money or taking him somewhere or picking him up or talking and arguing, no visits so he won't drink, no making him come to my house so he won't drink. No craziness. I"...	Cathyinaz	10	395	Feb 7, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Trust? (Preview) I want to trust my AH again but fear I am hoping for something impossible. I have this idea in my mind, a fantasy maybe, of having a husband that goes out with the guys and comes home at a decent time, who contributes money to the relationship rather than spend everything he makes plus what I make ... someon...	cmd309	12	407	Feb 7, 2013 by britbug
	Looking for advice, suggestions, or guidance. (Preview) I am fresh into a relationship (1.5 months) with a freshly recovering addict (6 months sober). I have been told the dangers of dating someone so early in their recovery and have read countless stories (both bad and good) about doing so. I have heard the tales of emotional rollercoasters and being held...	Sinneslust	5	349	Feb 7, 2013 by DavidG
	It never ends does it? (Preview) Of course I found myself thinking my AH can change but as with any expectation that leads to disappointment. After over 2 years off him being off drugs-he is still drinking so i dont call him sober even though he considers himself to be in recovery-he doesnt come home last night and I discover an ATM wi...	soozin12	3	325	Feb 7, 2013 by el-cee
	Do you feel guilty when the A is sober? (Preview) What I mean by this is that...when my AH is drunk and being an ass, and angry at the kids and everything is chaos and I want to leave him forever...and then the next day comes and he is sober for a day and somewhat nice and things go much better overall, then I feel guilty that I had feelings of leaving him...t...	Minaret	9	399	Feb 6, 2013 by Minaret
	Self-sabotage? (Preview) I read that 90% of people in 12-step recovery can identify with self-sabotage. Not necessarily with substances but EMOTIONAL Self-sabotage. What are your experiences on why we do this and how to stop repeating it?	WorkingThroughIt	10	1034	Feb 6, 2013 by el-cee
	So fustrated (Preview) My sober Abf was in a wreck tonight. He shouldn't have even been driving, but I no longer live there. He is 3 weeks out of back surgery - fusing 3 vertibra. Instead of being thankful he is safe & no damage was done to his back or no new damage was added - he is ANGRY that they discharged him with no new narc...	AngieP	2	266	Feb 6, 2013 by PP
	Anybody Identify with this? (Preview) Why do we put ourselves in the position to be harmed? I know today I invited people into my life who were the most troubled people in society...I did that to myself because I wanted to victimize myself and I didn't know any better. I made myself a "victim", always blaming others for their own s...	WorkingThroughIt	11	481	Feb 6, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Learning to Love... (Preview) Hello Al-Anon Family :) Sorry its been So Long! I've had my Share of Tragity Mixed with some Magical Moments, which seems to be the story of my life here of late, but Still taking it Day by Day... Moment by Moment... And at times Second by second! I was sitting here in my Pity Pot Yesterday & For what eve...	Jozie	4	376	Feb 6, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	my self-care program: share (Preview) Hey all, i thought I would come here and share my care program, that I have tailored around my own Self. I first felt quite unusual you know, I am VERY good at caring for others, yet when I turned that around and started nurturuing myself, it felt odd: a little bit of guilt, that feeling to be selfish... bu...	tortuga	7	295	Feb 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Need Help with Translating a Letter from my A (Preview) I received a letter from my A who is away at rehab. In the letter and I quote "I operate in a practical, business and organized approach. That may be when your feel pushed away because at that time we are operating in different worlds." (Which is based on the left side of my brain not working mos...	newwoman	9	349	Feb 6, 2013 by likemyheart
	My first step into al anon as an aa member (Preview) I am still trying to find a meeting that will fit into my schedule but I could really use some help now. I am an aa member ( actually celebrating my 6 year anniversary today!). I recently went backt to the west coast to visit my parents. My father is an alcoholic. I stayed in a hotel because of his drinking. I...	jackic	6	572	Feb 6, 2013 by jackic
	What to do? AH has done a 180.....AGAIN (Preview) AH's mom passed away a little over a week ago. She died suddenly and was found by the police on the bedroom floor. She had been there for a few days based on the decomposition of the body and both AH's brother and sister are dealing with a ton of guilt because they hadn't been checking up on her. Anyway, A...	ilovedogs	10	693	Feb 6, 2013 by Pushka
	Detachment Is Not Easy detachment sadness (Preview) I just need to share tonight. Nearly three weeks ago, I posted a couple of times. I was feeling so smart and empowered by what I was learning at Al-Anon. I made good healthy steps and difficult choices. I stopped arguing with him, mostly, when I knew he'd been drinking. I tried to listen more fully to him w...	ParisMemories	7	5163	Feb 6, 2013 by rehprof
	I am back here trying to make sense of everything (Preview) Hello all, I have only posted on here 2 times before and your responses helped me so much. Here I am again, back with my alcoholic boyfriend. I left him in April due to cheating and I ended up taking him back in July because his daughter came to town for the summer and I love her. He did go to AA that summer...	Gingerbread81	4	405	Feb 6, 2013 by Gingerbread81
	it can & will get better! (Preview) I figure that some days are bad days & some are good. I don't delude myself thinking that every day will be rosey. I still fight w/ the insanity sometimes but it is nowhere near what it used to be. My focus will be better. My load will be lifted. I don't want to be over-whelmed anymore. I have a very suppo...	Hoot Nanny	2	316	Feb 6, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Loosing control of my relationship with my recovering husband!!!! (Preview) I am a first time poster to this forum...My husband is currently in recovery. His drinking and drug days came to a stop with a DUI. Living with him has became increasingly more difficult. The moods swing from all so happy to I would rather leave then try to deal with this. I myself have began to feel this...	LosingItAll	7	554	Feb 6, 2013 by maryjane
	arrogant AH-dreading him getting off work (Preview) My AH went to a doctor that is now been treating him for BiPolar disorder for two months now. First month he drank heavy with the med and things were the same ..tho he said He felt "happy" he was stoned with the combo of booze and pills. I called the office manager and informed her of his alcohlic...	sweeetr	9	454	Feb 5, 2013 by Jozie
	What a week update .. Oi! (Preview) You know the whole if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have ANY luck .. LOL! Well .. I'm kind of dealing with that at the moment. Well .. I DID file a report with the sheriff's department and I have court. In doing so I was let go from my job, I had to totally laugh. I think that this is really ok. Knowin...	Pushka	8	425	Feb 5, 2013 by Jozie
	Co-dependency Humor (Preview) ***************************Q. What does a codependent have in common with God? >A. They both have a plan for your life.********** -- Edited by John on Monday 4th of February 2013 08:07:53 PM	John	11	1400	Feb 5, 2013 by Annie1234
	Work of my HP (Preview) When I first started alanon, I was very skeptical of a higher power. I wanted to believe but I was sure I had to help control the situation. I have been praying and hoping and praying some more...even talking out loud to my HP to intervene before my A kills himself or someone else. Last night it happene...	imom	4	231	Feb 5, 2013 by Pushka
	Sad again (Preview) My son is on a binge again. I was watching a program called Drugged about a young 29 yo man that was addicted to Alcohol. He agreed to go into rehab but only lasted 17 days before his young life was taken. I couldn't stop crying. I can't help but think this is what's next for my son. I feel because I can't...	Cathyinaz	9	393	Feb 5, 2013 by Pushka
	On the outside looking in.... (Preview) I keep telling myself that I am doing ok with everything, the move, divorce and being alone, but in part I think I am lying to myself. I don't know that I am as ok as I say that I am. I see my family and friends happy in their lives, things going well for them and they are moving forward doing new things for the...	cinders	2	247	Feb 5, 2013 by Pushka
	just a moment to reflect (Preview) I just need a moment to reflect. I have been in & out of sanity a lot in my life but have managed to survive all of it thanks to my Higher Power. These days I have been hanging by a string w/ my mind. I feel so bad about not being strong-minded. I won't beat myself up though. I don't know when I am going to get b...	Hoot Nanny	0	174	Feb 4, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Looking help and advice on the alcoholic in my life (Preview) Hello this is my first time here and looking for comfort and to get the courage I need. Well, alcoholisim is no stranger to me. My dad was an alcoholic and as I read in some of the other forums here as kids we always knew how good or bad our night was going to be depending on my fathers mood. So I grew up living i...	livestrong	5	240	Feb 5, 2013 by Mattie
	Need help, sick and tired (Preview) I've been with my husband for a year and a half. We've been married for the past six months now. There have been so many red flags the whole time we've been together and I turned a blind eye and just went along with it, for reasons I don't quite understand. I was in recovery when we met and started dating, the...	starryeyed	4	406	Feb 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Courage (Preview) This program is tricky because you never know for sure if you are accepting things you can't change or if you need to have courage and move on. The wisdom to know the difference will creep up on you and then sock you in the face. The statement above was posted in another post. However, it hit me right betw...	newwoman	4	330	Feb 4, 2013 by maryjane
	What a week .. (Preview) Well it has been a week to say the least. I have been flat on my back sick and that hasn't helped things. I felt like a mack truck hit me rolled backwards and hit me again. This is def a HALTS issues going on. Frustrated doesn't cover it. For the first time my STBAX has threatened me with physical harm. ...	Pushka	6	392	Feb 4, 2013 by Jackie11
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.