Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Smollen · Smollen

So my AH is leaving for rehab on Friday. It was either rehab or his own apartment. He is going to a really nice and expensive facility because he wouldn't go to a place that wasn't fancy. He is walking around my life feeling sorry for himself. Talking about how hard it is going to be for him and is upset wi...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Ive stayed for 13 yrs..we have one child. My ah is a most the time functioning active ah. If youve ever read my posts you know I seem to live from crisis to crisis. Im trying to work with alanon tools and an online sponsor but I get so messed up in my reacting. I lose sleep, have hbp, anxiety.....theres much a...

Rinn · Rinn

______ -- Edited by Rinn on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 01:05:29 AM

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

The bashing, the blaming, the anger. What the hell? A/DA/PA Husband has been going to his outpatient treatment for about two weeks now and it's been up and down since. I really don't know how to act around him. My understanding of being supportive is to leave him alone and let him talk to me about his trea...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Does anyone know if there's a website that posts the readings each day from Hope For Today and/or Courage To Change?

KLotus · KLotus

I made the decision to file for divorce, and for a Civil Protection Order. The CPO was issued, and still in place - just revised - both I and my 2 year old child are on it. For now (until we arrange visitation in the divorce), he gets my her every other weekend, entirely supervised by his parents, at thei...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family and I am posting this as a response to some why questions DebLisa posted below that reminded me of when I was asking my own versions of the "Why" questions as a newbie in Al-Anon. I am a double winner...a member of both Al-Anon and AA with AA coming after 9 years of being al...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just heard from my son. He sold his baby ( car ) and will now have the money he needs so he won't be homeless for the short term. Oh so much money....... God give me the strength and courage to keep my mouth shut.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

real quick: Here comes the money! I have to stand back & make decisions based on what I know & feel. I just need to be careful. But, I am scared. Fear leave me now! Kathleen

Smollen · Smollen

I am new here, so-Hi. When I met my husband of 19 yrs, he had already clean and sober. He remained that way for 17 years. Then 2 years ago I begin to notice thechanges. No overt drinking just personality changes like sullenness, lying over "mostly" stupid things, then the slips begin byst...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So...its been two and half weeks since returning from family vaction and I am quite sure my ah has been drunk or drinking more than not. Other than maybe three nights im quite sure ive slept alone either because he was out all night and finally came home and slept on the couch, or he was too hungover to wake...

chinup · chinup

hi everyone ive been missing you all,been hectic around here for sure well as for my update im been really down lately not just with my greiveing my loss of my precious mother but everything hitting me too ,bills,being very sick with crud and going through menopause,and getting my 1st ticket not havei...

hippychik45 · hippychik45

Hi my name is dawn and im an addict. i have 5 years sober may 5th.. but my concern today is my step daughter started cutting her self. she has alot of issues going on but ver sistant. we have her in counsilin and stable on medication and at the moment seems fine. she is very lonely but won alow anyon in, she nee...

lost87 · lost87

I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My mother began drinking about 9 years ago, when she is sober she is my best friend. Her drinking habits consist of extreme periods of binging that result in her becomming unconscious and ending up in the ER, there have been many episodes where she mixed benzos with t...

Pushka · Pushka

Something I read in one of the posts struck me big time and that was the issue of not addressing the pink elephant in the room. When I first came into Alanon I only knew to address everything bluntly with no filter, no courtesy and def no kindness. The first year in Alanon I thought I wasn't suppose to say...

Precious · Precious

I just found your Al-Anon message board tonight, and I am so grateful. My husband has been an alcoholic for around seven years, even though I only really started accepting that it was alcoholism a few years ago. We will be married 10 years this September, and I am so exhausted from what this disease has d...

astoria · astoria

I just thought to look on the internet for help and I've found you. Part of me still feels like what am I even doing here...but I do know I need some help learning how to deal with this. I read alot before posting. One question. If I'm angry, upset, resentful....what do I do in place of the 'silent' treat...

AngelicH57 · AngelicH57

We have 4 children, all are happily married with families of their own except the youngest our AD. I drive myself crazy trying to understand why she can't be like her siblings. We enabled her with money and used the excuses that she was just immature and couldn't handle her finances or keep jobs or frien...

AngelicH57 · AngelicH57

I came to this board a month ago seeking help for my alcoholic daughter. I never thought about it until now but I Am An Adult Child of an Alcoholic, my mother was co-dependant and enabled my father so history repeats itself. I've got a lot of work head....

oldergal · oldergal

Character defect and underlying symptom of the disease of alcoholism and drug abuse. I looked up Codependency, because that is what I was doing I was being codependent. Which means to me, that I was putting my self in my son's shoes and feeling emotionally and almost physically like his problems...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is something I have been reading in several posts from folks lately. Comments like "He/She chose the alcohol over me" and "He chose the alcohol over his family." I just wanted to throw in my opinion (whatever it's worth) on this because this line of thinking only cause...

afglin · afglin

I did a google search for free alanon speaker tapes and one link brought me hre. I could not find them. Can somebody tell me where to find them here and if so, is ther a way to download to a CD so I can play it in my car? LIN

Heather 68 · Heather 68

So the ex ABF contacted me, thought those days were gone. Anyhow, he tried so very hard to push my buttons with tall tales of women and fun in his life while bitterly taking stabs at me for not wanting to be with him. I responded with compassion, tack and even empathy. He sure does not know how to take that, i...

lolabelle · lolabelle

Hello there, I am new to this site. I am hoping to become active with my own recovery from 22 years with an alcoholic emotional abuser. I left my husband 3 years ago, he has since stopped drinking through A.A. He kept pressuring me to here his amends, I was not ready for it, but finally told him that he shoul...

texasgal · texasgal

Im off today from one of my jobs im only working tonight so I texted my AH if he was coming home for lunch. Im tired today I think it was from all the walking at the fair. As we texted I said I had spoken to sponsor and I stated that I need not react to his behavior, that I need to ask HP for guidance, his issues of fe...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Some days, I want to turn into a tornado in this house and scream and throw things. I read and read on this forum, I go back over the steps and yet, I feel this rage and frustration inside. I read somewhere that anger is really fear. That could be true, because I fear doing this much longer and realize that it...

Victoria McLaughlin · Victoria McLaughlin

My name is Victoria McLaughlin, and I am a student in need of help with a class project--not research. Respectfully, I am listed on the William & Mary website, so that you may see my credientials and my student status in the Counselor Education program, and my smiling face. http://education.wm...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

There have been some questions regarding literature (books), what others would recommend and so on. For newcomers this could possibly be confusing when we start recommending outside literature without clarifying that it is not Al-Anon (CAL) literature. In Al-Anon meetings, we keep it Al-A...

AngelicH57 · AngelicH57

I guess rock bottom means something different to everyone, my AD has no job, no money, no car and blames me for everything wrong is her life and yet I was her #1 Enabler. She doesn't see she has a problem with alcohol it's everyone else that has a problem @@ I'm just slap worn out.... -- Edited by AngelicH...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey all... Have you ever come to a place where the Blinders Come off and you realize that all you will Ever be to some people is Used while they play the Martyr of Every Situation... Woo Is Me! My Poor Life! My Poor Past! My Poor everything! I have been sitting in this for a while now, and I have been Examining...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning everyone Working on the 4th step I found that enabling was easy to stop, undertand why I did it and was able to get a handle on it. But denial I can't get a grip on. I work and work at it and my head is in the clouds. All I can do is pray about it and practice, practice practice Take care PS: I fin...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I stepped back from my, "getting divorced from the A wife manfriend." I didn't know what made me at the time. It hit me though, he has been so codependant, and was slipping right back into it. He is so sick and so blinded by her disease. I started feeling sick, frustrated, angery. Then re...

texasgal · texasgal

My soberAH and I live together but we are more like roommates than a couple. I am still living here cuz im paying off some debts and I should be out by April. I work two jobs and I sleep on couch. These past 3 weekends he hasnt slept at home. Last night he texted me a whole bunch of stuff saying that he hated me an...

Lupo · Lupo

So once again my fiance dissapeared this morning. She swore she wasnt using or doing anything innapropriate, but I didnt believe her and accused her of using. She told me many times that she wasnt doing anything wrong and I didnt believe her. She decided to leave tonight and its killing me. Im worri...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I need and want to work the steps. I used the same name and password for the step board as I do for this one. It let me leave a post on step one a few days ago, but now it won't let me! I tried setting up a new acct. and it said my email address was the same, which of course, it is. Can anyone help? Thanks so m...

wimeraw · wimeraw

This is my first post - I have been encouraged by my mother to come to this board. I've never been more ready to get the help I deserve which is why I'm posting today. My mom has recently left my father who is an alcoholic. My mother is living in her own apartment and my dad is living by himself in the house w...

texasgal · texasgal

I know my soberAH is cheating. He has mentally abused me for years. When he was an active drinker he would physically abuse me. Right now im in a situation where I am staying these next two months to pay off my remainding debts so that I can afford my own apt. We dont sleep together. But I do love him and idk wh...

Overcome · Overcome

Someone here, David maybe? Posted information on the first Conferance Approved Al-Anon e-book out, "Having had a Spiritual Awakening..." Rather than search through all the posts, I thought I'd just post this as a "topic", because I think it was written in as a "comment...

JD2112 · JD2112

Where to begin,I'm going to try and keep this short, I could write a book if I wanted but I'll give the cliff notes so you get the idea. My wife is what I call a weekend alcoholic. She only drinks one night a week either Friday or Saturday. Every once and a while a weeknight will get thrown in the mix but not oft...

debhud · debhud

my dear granddaughter is finally able to talk about the pain of living with an alcoholic parent. unfortunately it took her hospitalization to feel safe enough to be able to verbalize her feelings. feeling of fear while dad was drinking daily. listening to mom and dad fight. listening to and pro...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear friends I've been so consumed with the out of control behavior of my husband lately, but at this moment I am feeling so grateful and peaceful, I have to share that positive news. I am so grateful for all your support, encouragement and honesty. You have helped me get through the past days and weeks...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

You know, not one damn thing is going to change with my son. I just talked to him and he's only worried about selling that car to get money. I know he will pay rent for a few months and drink the rest away. 6 months from now he will be in worse shape. I'm sick of this thinking I go.... I'm told over and over not...

Tracey C · Tracey C

There seems to be a huge prejudice with online meetings. I know al-anon recommends f2f meetings as the best for various reasons. The fact though is not everyone can access f2f meetings for various reasons though eg geographical, transportation, health. One fellow I chatted with couldn't venture o...

Fool4You · Fool4You

I just spent an hour going to the hospital my A was in and and hour coming back because he has checked himself out and I didn't know. His caseworker called me Thursday saying he was at the hospital because he told some police officers he was going to shoot them so they'd kill him (he doesn't have a gun). H...

Pushka · Pushka

WOW .. that one is a hard one for me to really get a handle on at the moment. The past two weeks has taught me a LOT about myself. Some of it is good stuff and then some not so good, I would say as a whole more positive than negative at this point. I have a much stronger program than I thought, .. I also cause mys...

hotrod · hotrod

thoughts?http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52905175/step-11-alanon/

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well today was very busy at work so I'm glad the weekend is here. The rain and hail was quite strong, a little crazy getting home. Now the sun is out and the storm is over. Just received a email from my son and he also had a good day. He went on a interview for a job and as he says basically hired. Part IT work a...

Terry57 · Terry57

I believe my husband is in the end stages of his alcoholism. He's worked 2 weeks in the last 15 months and lost his job because they thought he had a seizure and sent him home. He has no recall of that. They required him to go to a neurologist (who told him to stop drinking) and to inpatient rehab, where he...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I'm going to try and make a joke before I vent. Does AH mean alcoholic husband or asshole? My husband was in a iop program, and he stopped going. I probably had something to do with his leaving since I questioned some of the treatment center's procedures. Sometimes I think I am an enabler. So now h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel that the best things I say come from quick wit! I say funny things to get through tough moments. I have bipolar disorder & sometimes out of mania, I say some pretty profound things: at least I think so. I have the abiltiy to make people laugh. Sometimes I think comedians are mentally...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

His outpatient program ended at 3PM today. He came home at 4:30, smelling of alcohol. He packed up some stuff and headed for the door. I said please don't leave. He said he can't stay here with me. He said he has to leave, and he is afraid he will hurt himself. This morning before he left for the program, he s...

Number30 · Number30

If you've seen the movie "Inception" this will make sense, if not, it's a great movie and you should see it. ;) **spoiler below!!** I feel like Leonardo D.'s character and AH is his wife. I feel so spun out living in reality when his reality (drug-induced) is so false to me. He was clean for l...

el-cee · el-cee

its blowing a gale in my part of the world tonight and my son is out there somewhere. fear creeps into my mind and my body reacts. i become a bit paralysed. sounds dramatic but i can stay frozen for hours when it takes hold. ive just watched a program(while beng frozen) that may have been sent from my hp. all...

debhud · debhud

i am a nurse and have worked in detox in the past. today while visiting AS he asked me if he could come to my house for a few days so i could help him detox safely. (he has no medical insurance.) i used to work in this type of unit and i know what is involved. he does have medications needed to get him through...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am finding it easier when I go w/ the flow. Accept the things I cannot change, etc. But today I am feeling a little sad because my cousin in CA hasn't emailed me in awhile. I asked her for her phone number & I guess it was too many times. I am such a pushy cousin I guess. Anyhow, if she doesn't email me soon...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I am so stressed out today. My AH's domestic violence case is scheduled for trial. He refuses to hire any attorney. He says I need to fix this. I know that sounds crazy, but part of me, a big part of me, does feel responsible. I honestly knew that he was not violent. The reason I called the police that day was...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello Family, I'm actually back to myself, and my life more or less in balance... there is lots to do still, and there will always be, but at least I have my peace back.... without that i couldn't walk so steady. So yesterday again my ex ABF contacted me, with a small text saying 'how are you?'.... I didn'...

milkwood · milkwood

Hello All, This week I am doing a mamoth painting and decorating job. Its going ok but since I'm feeling a bit tired I thought I'd take a few minutes to enjoy my MIP family and reading the posts I was reminded of a little card that I carry in my wallet. Perhaps it is worth a share.... A 17th Century Nun's Pra...

blondie99 · blondie99

Have to share something with you my dear MIP family...hopefully it will offer strength and hope to those who are hurting. I've never been one who is good with confrontations - especially when they are unexpected. So when I got a call earlier this evening from my STBXAH from rehab, I knew something was u...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

When my heart and mind were filled with discouragement, there was no room for concern for others. Daily I tormented myself, thinking in circles, deciding first on one desperate measure, then another. There was no air, no breathing space, between me and my problem; we were entangled and confused. I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AH looking for my sympathy for his pity party (Preview) So my AH is leaving for rehab on Friday. It was either rehab or his own apartment. He is going to a really nice and expensive facility because he wouldn't go to a place that wasn't fancy. He is walking around my life feeling sorry for himself. Talking about how hard it is going to be for him and is upset wi...	Smollen	2	361	Mar 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	To wives staying with active ah (Preview) Ive stayed for 13 yrs..we have one child. My ah is a most the time functioning active ah. If youve ever read my posts you know I seem to live from crisis to crisis. Im trying to work with alanon tools and an online sponsor but I get so messed up in my reacting. I lose sleep, have hbp, anxiety.....theres much a...	Theoceancalls	3	463	Mar 13, 2013 by Mama Marie
	I need help, I thought I was doing ok but WHAM yesterday happened. spouse addition pain pills meth kids (Preview) ______ -- Edited by Rinn on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 01:05:29 AM	Rinn	4	9101	Mar 13, 2013 by Rinn
	When is it gonna end? (Preview) The bashing, the blaming, the anger. What the hell? A/DA/PA Husband has been going to his outpatient treatment for about two weeks now and it's been up and down since. I really don't know how to act around him. My understanding of being supportive is to leave him alone and let him talk to me about his trea...	Clueless Optimist	10	572	Mar 13, 2013 by Mattie
	Online Literature? (Preview) Does anyone know if there's a website that posts the readings each day from Hope For Today and/or Courage To Change?	WorkingThroughIt	1	270	Mar 12, 2013 by canadianguy
	I have done it - support please! (Preview) I made the decision to file for divorce, and for a Civil Protection Order. The CPO was issued, and still in place - just revised - both I and my 2 year old child are on it. For now (until we arrange visitation in the divorce), he gets my her every other weekend, entirely supervised by his parents, at thei...	KLotus	4	361	Mar 12, 2013 by PP
	If you only knew... (Preview) Aloha MIP Family and I am posting this as a response to some why questions DebLisa posted below that reminded me of when I was asking my own versions of the "Why" questions as a newbie in Al-Anon. I am a double winner...a member of both Al-Anon and AA with AA coming after 9 years of being al...	Jerry F	8	674	Mar 12, 2013 by el-cee
	The car is sold (Preview) Just heard from my son. He sold his baby ( car ) and will now have the money he needs so he won't be homeless for the short term. Oh so much money....... God give me the strength and courage to keep my mouth shut.	Cathyinaz	11	519	Mar 12, 2013 by el-cee
	here it comes... (Preview) real quick: Here comes the money! I have to stand back & make decisions based on what I know & feel. I just need to be careful. But, I am scared. Fear leave me now! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	298	Mar 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Who takes care of me? (Preview) I am new here, so-Hi. When I met my husband of 19 yrs, he had already clean and sober. He remained that way for 17 years. Then 2 years ago I begin to notice thechanges. No overt drinking just personality changes like sullenness, lying over "mostly" stupid things, then the slips begin byst...	Smollen	9	728	Mar 12, 2013 by Rinn
	I think hes getting worse, and so am I Desperate for sanity (Preview) So...its been two and half weeks since returning from family vaction and I am quite sure my ah has been drunk or drinking more than not. Other than maybe three nights im quite sure ive slept alone either because he was out all night and finally came home and slept on the couch, or he was too hungover to wake...	Theoceancalls	6	508	Mar 12, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	update and checking in. (Preview) hi everyone ive been missing you all,been hectic around here for sure well as for my update im been really down lately not just with my greiveing my loss of my precious mother but everything hitting me too ,bills,being very sick with crud and going through menopause,and getting my 1st ticket not havei...	chinup	2	459	Mar 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	my concern is of my step daughter (Preview) Hi my name is dawn and im an addict. i have 5 years sober may 5th.. but my concern today is my step daughter started cutting her self. she has alot of issues going on but ver sistant. we have her in counsilin and stable on medication and at the moment seems fine. she is very lonely but won alow anyon in, she nee...	hippychik45	3	380	Mar 12, 2013 by hippychik45
	When is it okay to cut ties? (Preview) I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My mother began drinking about 9 years ago, when she is sober she is my best friend. Her drinking habits consist of extreme periods of binging that result in her becomming unconscious and ending up in the ER, there have been many episodes where she mixed benzos with t...	lost87	4	479	Mar 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	What I have learned .. (Preview) Something I read in one of the posts struck me big time and that was the issue of not addressing the pink elephant in the room. When I first came into Alanon I only knew to address everything bluntly with no filter, no courtesy and def no kindness. The first year in Alanon I thought I wasn't suppose to say...	Pushka	5	514	Mar 12, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Hello, Everyone. My First Post. (Preview) I just found your Al-Anon message board tonight, and I am so grateful. My husband has been an alcoholic for around seven years, even though I only really started accepting that it was alcoholism a few years ago. We will be married 10 years this September, and I am so exhausted from what this disease has d...	Precious	7	553	Mar 12, 2013 by Courage
	Hello, I'm a newbie...so confused. (Preview) I just thought to look on the internet for help and I've found you. Part of me still feels like what am I even doing here...but I do know I need some help learning how to deal with this. I read alot before posting. One question. If I'm angry, upset, resentful....what do I do in place of the 'silent' treat...	astoria	7	455	Mar 12, 2013 by giraffe13
	Looking the other way... (Preview) We have 4 children, all are happily married with families of their own except the youngest our AD. I drive myself crazy trying to understand why she can't be like her siblings. We enabled her with money and used the excuses that she was just immature and couldn't handle her finances or keep jobs or frien...	AngelicH57	4	374	Mar 12, 2013 by Chicago Bears
	I just realized (Preview) I came to this board a month ago seeking help for my alcoholic daughter. I never thought about it until now but I Am An Adult Child of an Alcoholic, my mother was co-dependant and enabled my father so history repeats itself. I've got a lot of work head....	AngelicH57	5	414	Mar 12, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	Codependent/Rumination (Preview) Character defect and underlying symptom of the disease of alcoholism and drug abuse. I looked up Codependency, because that is what I was doing I was being codependent. Which means to me, that I was putting my self in my son's shoes and feeling emotionally and almost physically like his problems...	oldergal	2	4833	Mar 12, 2013 by Findinghope
	Alcohol never wins (Preview) This is something I have been reading in several posts from folks lately. Comments like "He/She chose the alcohol over me" and "He chose the alcohol over his family." I just wanted to throw in my opinion (whatever it's worth) on this because this line of thinking only cause...	pinkchip	11	674	Mar 11, 2013 by Findinghope
	free speaker tapes? (Preview) I did a google search for free alanon speaker tapes and one link brought me hre. I could not find them. Can somebody tell me where to find them here and if so, is ther a way to download to a CD so I can play it in my car? LIN	afglin	1	1633	Mar 12, 2013 by Green Eyes
	A pat on the back for me!! (Preview) So the ex ABF contacted me, thought those days were gone. Anyhow, he tried so very hard to push my buttons with tall tales of women and fun in his life while bitterly taking stabs at me for not wanting to be with him. I responded with compassion, tack and even empathy. He sure does not know how to take that, i...	Heather 68	3	323	Mar 12, 2013 by hotrod
	He thinks he's made amends (Preview) Hello there, I am new to this site. I am hoping to become active with my own recovery from 22 years with an alcoholic emotional abuser. I left my husband 3 years ago, he has since stopped drinking through A.A. He kept pressuring me to here his amends, I was not ready for it, but finally told him that he shoul...	lolabelle	7	471	Mar 12, 2013 by lolabelle
	Did I do wrong?? (Preview) Im off today from one of my jobs im only working tonight so I texted my AH if he was coming home for lunch. Im tired today I think it was from all the walking at the fair. As we texted I said I had spoken to sponsor and I stated that I need not react to his behavior, that I need to ask HP for guidance, his issues of fe...	texasgal	7	479	Mar 12, 2013 by Jerry F
	Some Days (Preview) Some days, I want to turn into a tornado in this house and scream and throw things. I read and read on this forum, I go back over the steps and yet, I feel this rage and frustration inside. I read somewhere that anger is really fear. That could be true, because I fear doing this much longer and realize that it...	Raven Juniper	3	429	Mar 12, 2013 by Jerry F
	Respectful request (Preview) My name is Victoria McLaughlin, and I am a student in need of help with a class project--not research. Respectfully, I am listed on the William & Mary website, so that you may see my credientials and my student status in the Counselor Education program, and my smiling face. http://education.wm...	Victoria McLaughlin	0	376	Mar 11, 2013 by Victoria McLaughlin
	CAL (Conference Approved Literature) vs. Outside Literature (Preview) There have been some questions regarding literature (books), what others would recommend and so on. For newcomers this could possibly be confusing when we start recommending outside literature without clarifying that it is not Al-Anon (CAL) literature. In Al-Anon meetings, we keep it Al-A...	kismetstrand	3	629	Mar 11, 2013 by KL
	Rockbottom....? (Preview) I guess rock bottom means something different to everyone, my AD has no job, no money, no car and blames me for everything wrong is her life and yet I was her #1 Enabler. She doesn't see she has a problem with alcohol it's everyone else that has a problem @@ I'm just slap worn out.... -- Edited by AngelicH...	AngelicH57	3	349	Mar 11, 2013 by el-cee
	Tired of Feeling Used by the Martyr's... (Preview) Hey all... Have you ever come to a place where the Blinders Come off and you realize that all you will Ever be to some people is Used while they play the Martyr of Every Situation... Woo Is Me! My Poor Life! My Poor Past! My Poor everything! I have been sitting in this for a while now, and I have been Examining...	Jozie	1	359	Mar 11, 2013 by hotrod
	Denial (Preview) Good Morning everyone Working on the 4th step I found that enabling was easy to stop, undertand why I did it and was able to get a handle on it. But denial I can't get a grip on. I work and work at it and my head is in the clouds. All I can do is pray about it and practice, practice practice Take care PS: I fin...	Cathyinaz	6	695	Mar 11, 2013 by maryjane
	how insidious the disease is. (Preview) I stepped back from my, "getting divorced from the A wife manfriend." I didn't know what made me at the time. It hit me though, he has been so codependant, and was slipping right back into it. He is so sick and so blinded by her disease. I started feeling sick, frustrated, angery. Then re...	Debilyn	3	448	Mar 11, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	feeling blue today (Preview) My soberAH and I live together but we are more like roommates than a couple. I am still living here cuz im paying off some debts and I should be out by April. I work two jobs and I sleep on couch. These past 3 weekends he hasnt slept at home. Last night he texted me a whole bunch of stuff saying that he hated me an...	texasgal	2	348	Mar 11, 2013 by texasgal
	What a mess (Preview) So once again my fiance dissapeared this morning. She swore she wasnt using or doing anything innapropriate, but I didnt believe her and accused her of using. She told me many times that she wasnt doing anything wrong and I didnt believe her. She decided to leave tonight and its killing me. Im worri...	Lupo	3	506	Mar 11, 2013 by Lupo
	difficulty with stepboard (Preview) Hi-I need and want to work the steps. I used the same name and password for the step board as I do for this one. It let me leave a post on step one a few days ago, but now it won't let me! I tried setting up a new acct. and it said my email address was the same, which of course, it is. Can anyone help? Thanks so m...	Lyne	1	301	Mar 11, 2013 by hotrod
	Left Father, Need Advice (Preview) This is my first post - I have been encouraged by my mother to come to this board. I've never been more ready to get the help I deserve which is why I'm posting today. My mom has recently left my father who is an alcoholic. My mother is living in her own apartment and my dad is living by himself in the house w...	wimeraw	6	382	Mar 10, 2013 by wimeraw
	why do I love him?? (Preview) I know my soberAH is cheating. He has mentally abused me for years. When he was an active drinker he would physically abuse me. Right now im in a situation where I am staying these next two months to pay off my remainding debts so that I can afford my own apt. We dont sleep together. But I do love him and idk wh...	texasgal	9	668	Mar 10, 2013 by peace2me
	Searching for Information on the new CAL book on e-book called "Having had a Spiritual Awakening..." (Preview) Someone here, David maybe? Posted information on the first Conferance Approved Al-Anon e-book out, "Having had a Spiritual Awakening..." Rather than search through all the posts, I thought I'd just post this as a "topic", because I think it was written in as a "comment...	Overcome	2	437	Mar 10, 2013 by Overcome
	Seeking advise (Preview) Where to begin,I'm going to try and keep this short, I could write a book if I wanted but I'll give the cliff notes so you get the idea. My wife is what I call a weekend alcoholic. She only drinks one night a week either Friday or Saturday. Every once and a while a weeknight will get thrown in the mix but not oft...	JD2112	4	506	Mar 10, 2013 by JD2112
	sick 14 year old GD FINALLY able to verbalize pain of alcoholism with her father. (Preview) my dear granddaughter is finally able to talk about the pain of living with an alcoholic parent. unfortunately it took her hospitalization to feel safe enough to be able to verbalize her feelings. feeling of fear while dad was drinking daily. listening to mom and dad fight. listening to and pro...	debhud	5	556	Mar 10, 2013 by rehprof
	Peaceful and grateful in the midst of chaos (Preview) Dear friends I've been so consumed with the out of control behavior of my husband lately, but at this moment I am feeling so grateful and peaceful, I have to share that positive news. I am so grateful for all your support, encouragement and honesty. You have helped me get through the past days and weeks...	ParisMemories	6	514	Mar 10, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	My denial (Preview) You know, not one damn thing is going to change with my son. I just talked to him and he's only worried about selling that car to get money. I know he will pay rent for a few months and drink the rest away. 6 months from now he will be in worse shape. I'm sick of this thinking I go.... I'm told over and over not...	Cathyinaz	6	394	Mar 10, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Online Meetings (Preview) There seems to be a huge prejudice with online meetings. I know al-anon recommends f2f meetings as the best for various reasons. The fact though is not everyone can access f2f meetings for various reasons though eg geographical, transportation, health. One fellow I chatted with couldn't venture o...	Tracey C	5	332	Mar 10, 2013 by Tracey C
	When will I learn?! (Preview) I just spent an hour going to the hospital my A was in and and hour coming back because he has checked himself out and I didn't know. His caseworker called me Thursday saying he was at the hospital because he told some police officers he was going to shoot them so they'd kill him (he doesn't have a gun). H...	Fool4You	1	382	Mar 10, 2013 by hotrod
	Not my business .. (Preview) WOW .. that one is a hard one for me to really get a handle on at the moment. The past two weeks has taught me a LOT about myself. Some of it is good stuff and then some not so good, I would say as a whole more positive than negative at this point. I have a much stronger program than I thought, .. I also cause mys...	Pushka	3	648	Mar 10, 2013 by hotrod
	11 th Step (Preview) thoughts?http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52905175/step-11-alanon/	hotrod	0	343	Mar 9, 2013 by hotrod
	TGIF (Preview) Well today was very busy at work so I'm glad the weekend is here. The rain and hail was quite strong, a little crazy getting home. Now the sun is out and the storm is over. Just received a email from my son and he also had a good day. He went on a interview for a job and as he says basically hired. Part IT work a...	Cathyinaz	7	575	Mar 9, 2013 by AngelicH57
	Getting medical help (Preview) I believe my husband is in the end stages of his alcoholism. He's worked 2 weeks in the last 15 months and lost his job because they thought he had a seizure and sent him home. He has no recall of that. They required him to go to a neurologist (who told him to stop drinking) and to inpatient rehab, where he...	Terry57	2	373	Mar 10, 2013 by hotrod
	What does AH mean? (Preview) I'm going to try and make a joke before I vent. Does AH mean alcoholic husband or asshole? My husband was in a iop program, and he stopped going. I probably had something to do with his leaving since I questioned some of the treatment center's procedures. Sometimes I think I am an enabler. So now h...	DebLisa55	3	5271	Mar 10, 2013 by hotrod
	sometimes I have to go w/ quick wit! (Preview) Sometimes I feel that the best things I say come from quick wit! I say funny things to get through tough moments. I have bipolar disorder & sometimes out of mania, I say some pretty profound things: at least I think so. I have the abiltiy to make people laugh. Sometimes I think comedians are mentally...	Hoot Nanny	1	334	Mar 9, 2013 by John
	AH Left and Said He is Afraid He Might Hurt Himself (Preview) His outpatient program ended at 3PM today. He came home at 4:30, smelling of alcohol. He packed up some stuff and headed for the door. I said please don't leave. He said he can't stay here with me. He said he has to leave, and he is afraid he will hurt himself. This morning before he left for the program, he s...	ParisMemories	13	491	Mar 9, 2013 by ParisMemories
	"Inception" and my struggle (Preview) If you've seen the movie "Inception" this will make sense, if not, it's a great movie and you should see it. ;) spoiler below!! I feel like Leonardo D.'s character and AH is his wife. I feel so spun out living in reality when his reality (drug-induced) is so false to me. He was clean for l...	Number30	2	428	Mar 9, 2013 by hotrod
	windy night (Preview) its blowing a gale in my part of the world tonight and my son is out there somewhere. fear creeps into my mind and my body reacts. i become a bit paralysed. sounds dramatic but i can stay frozen for hours when it takes hold. ive just watched a program(while beng frozen) that may have been sent from my hp. all...	el-cee	7	319	Mar 9, 2013 by el-cee
	AS asked for my help. Need ESH PLEASE (Preview) i am a nurse and have worked in detox in the past. today while visiting AS he asked me if he could come to my house for a few days so i could help him detox safely. (he has no medical insurance.) i used to work in this type of unit and i know what is involved. he does have medications needed to get him through...	debhud	6	370	Mar 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	go w/ the flow! (Preview) I am finding it easier when I go w/ the flow. Accept the things I cannot change, etc. But today I am feeling a little sad because my cousin in CA hasn't emailed me in awhile. I asked her for her phone number & I guess it was too many times. I am such a pushy cousin I guess. Anyhow, if she doesn't email me soon...	Hoot Nanny	1	309	Mar 9, 2013 by el-cee
	Trying to remain calm (Preview) I am so stressed out today. My AH's domestic violence case is scheduled for trial. He refuses to hire any attorney. He says I need to fix this. I know that sounds crazy, but part of me, a big part of me, does feel responsible. I honestly knew that he was not violent. The reason I called the police that day was...	ParisMemories	4	513	Mar 9, 2013 by hotrod
	uncomfortable feeling: detachment or indifference? (Preview) Hello Family, I'm actually back to myself, and my life more or less in balance... there is lots to do still, and there will always be, but at least I have my peace back.... without that i couldn't walk so steady. So yesterday again my ex ABF contacted me, with a small text saying 'how are you?'.... I didn'...	tortuga	7	741	Mar 9, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	A 17th Century Prayer... (Preview) Hello All, This week I am doing a mamoth painting and decorating job. Its going ok but since I'm feeling a bit tired I thought I'd take a few minutes to enjoy my MIP family and reading the posts I was reminded of a little card that I carry in my wallet. Perhaps it is worth a share.... A 17th Century Nun's Pra...	milkwood	5	681	Mar 8, 2013 by el-cee
	Thank you HP (Preview) Have to share something with you my dear MIP family...hopefully it will offer strength and hope to those who are hurting. I've never been one who is good with confrontations - especially when they are unexpected. So when I got a call earlier this evening from my STBXAH from rehab, I knew something was u...	blondie99	4	323	Mar 8, 2013 by tiredtonite
	One Day at a Time (Preview) When my heart and mind were filled with discouragement, there was no room for concern for others. Daily I tormented myself, thinking in circles, deciding first on one desperate measure, then another. There was no air, no breathing space, between me and my problem; we were entangled and confused. I...	Cathyinaz	2	311	Mar 8, 2013 by AngelicH57
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.