and just like that it changes - Al-Anon Family Group

1976love · Senior Member

and just like that it changes

AngieP · Veteran Member

Hard way to start your morning I know. Hang in there. Try to keep yourself in a good place, act & not react to his poor behavior. Easy to allow this to steal your serenity & turn your day into a tailspin.. Just go ahead with your own plans as best you can. Thinking of you this morning

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((1976love)))))

I hear you and do understand. The incident I recall that was very much like the one you encountered was when my teenage son had his music too high and refused to turn it down!! This is a good reason to live One Day at a Time.

When something like this happens I try not to abandon my plans and continue to do the next right thing . There is a reading in the ODAT about a woman in England during the war. Someone brought news that her husband was missing-- She paused and then just offered the messenger a cup of tea.. He was astounded and she explained that she was taught that when something terrible happens ask yourself what you would be doing if it had not happened and then do it. . Act and do not react.

In my thoughts and prayers.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

1976love

I

I am so sorry. This is indeed a dreadful disease.

Maybe you could check out some alateen meetings in your community and talk to your son about attending. There is also an alateen daily reader that is helpful.

Abby posted an on line alateen meeting site that might be a good resource. Here is the info:

WSO approved meeting place for teens living with alcoholism	ReplyQuote More Edit Post Delete Post Ban IP Report Spam

http://chat.alateen.net teens will have to register and ip addy is checked ,they can then attend any of the alateen meetings listed on the sign in page. this is the only Al-Anon approved site available for teens.. Sponsors are members of our program who have been police checked and verified as attending reg Al-Anon meetings . these rooms are not open for general chat they are only open when being monitored durring meetings .

V

In my thoughts

-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 3rd of March 2013 06:20:56 PM

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so sorry. Even if your son withstood it seemingly okay, it must be so painful for him inside. I hope he is not learning that that is how "real men" behave. Please take good care of both of you.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

That defines what I learned in the program as "insanity"...Happens so much of the time. I learned to have gratitude that situations didn't get worse and to stay in recovery so that it would rarely happen again. Keep coming back ((((hugs)))) smile

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Im so sorry, my ex ah thought violence was the way to bring up teenagers also. I couldnt cope with that and I left. Im not saying this was the right thing to do and the only advice I would give anyone is go to Alanon.x

1976love · Senior Member

welp, my son is a wreck today. He is so sensitive and this is the last thing he needed. UGGG these isms are rediculous....I something don't ever think my AH will ever fully get it. To see my son so upset...crying over what he claims was his favorite t-shirt breaks my heart. He is using the t-shirt as a symbol...Us grown ups call it our heart. The isms of this disease are sometimes unforgivable, insane and beyond hurtful. When my husband goes to his AA meeting tonight, I will try to talk to him more. I will offer my knowledge of the program to him...but for an 11year old all he understands right now is that his Dad is a big fat jerk that he never wants to talk to again.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I want to say something very gently. I understand that he is devastated about his father's behavior. Is he protected at all?

When I was young something very ugly and painful happened to me. I won't go into what because that's not the important part. The important part is that years down the line, the original event is not the part whose pain stays with me. The terrible pain that stays with me is that neither of my parents took any action to protect me.

Hugs.

1976love · Senior Member

Thanks Mattie. I have prayed all day. I had a talk with my son and told him that his fathers behavior was unacceptable today. He is currently in an ok mood but I know the scar is deep. I need to have the dreaded conversation with my husband how it is unacceptable and come up with boundaries for me and the children. In my area the only semi local alateen meeting is on a Tuesday night 30 minutes away. In the summer it will be do able but with school in session it might be hard. I am saying the serenity prayer over and over, and trying to figure out how to say what I need to without being mean. Thank you all, and I will keep you all posted.

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