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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Finally caught him red-handed
Post Info TOPIC: Finally caught him red-handed
NicoleDiver


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Finally caught him red-handed
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So much for his denials. I can say I finally caught him, though it doesn't make me feel better. I found some white chunks in his cigarette pack.  He still tried to say he didn't know what it was, til I touched it to my tongue and it numbed my mouth and throat.  Then he finally admitted it.  I flushed it.  I was so mad, I told him to leave but he wouldn't.  I wanted to call the police but I was just too mortified at the thought of our neighbors seeing him led away in handcuffs.  I would have been so embarrassed.

I'm really angry.  I am debating calling his probation officer.  I don't want to be the reason he goes to prison, but for the first time I am seriously considering it.  Because I'm getting to that point.....sick and tired of being sick and tired.  But will I be able to live with the guilt I am going to feel when his probation is revoked?  I really don't want to have to deal with that.



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NicoleDiver


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BTW, I'm not really a newbie, I just had to change my username.

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pinkchip


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Do your best to own only your part. Would it really be you causing him to go to jail or would it be his addiction? If you were his landlord and he brought crack into your place what would you do?

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hotrod


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Dear Nicole

I always found that when I examine my motives it helped me to reach a decision that placed principles above personalities. Letting go and Letting God enabled me to take actions with courage, serenity and the wisdom that I needed.

In my thoughts



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Cathyinaz


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Dear Nicole

Pinkchip and Hotrod are exactly right in what they are saying. I once watched my son driving behind me going from driving OK to driving all over the road. I stop once going up my road to the house and couldn't believe he was drunk. In one hour he drank enough to get plastered. Guess what.....I didn't call the police on him and I regret it till this day. I placed my principles behind his crime because I didn't want him to go to jail again. I didn't own up to my part letting him do this. This was crazy....crossed my boundaries and I did nothing.

Never again will I let anyone... even my son.....do anything to upset me to the point of nightmares when in my space. He can do whatever the H he wants but never again around me. I will do whatever is necessary FOR MY welfare.

My motives were completely screwed up at that time, but God has given me the knowledge thru Al-anon, MIP and good people that have given me the courage and wisdom to make the changes I need.

Take care of you and I pray you find the right answers to your doubts and motives and move forward with peace and serenity.



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Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Debilyn


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Well unless he admits it, you destroyed the evidence. I would think they would need that to do anything anyway, unless it is not too late to see it in a blood test.

Yes it is more; what do you want? You can call the police but afraid of embarrassment, you want to call probation officer but would feel guilty.Where in this are you ever the reason he goes to prison???? did you buy the dope, make a line on a mirror, roll up a bill, tape his mouth shut and tape the bill to his nose and push his head down till he had to breath up a line or two?????????

Since when do we have to take ANY responsibility for them using hon???

If we take away their consequences they learn nothing. He chanced being caught when he brought it into your home, making you an accessory to keeping an illegal narcotic.

So what are you going to do about it? hugs and lotsa love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jerry F


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Now that you have finally caught him what do you do?  What did you promise yourself and him would happen if you caught him?  What is his part in it...what is yours?  Would you allow me or anyone else to come onto your property and use drugs?  What has been the consequences of him using on your property?  These are inventory questions and inventory questions for me allow me to see the picture for what it is...get the proper perspective and then face the courgage to do what I need to do to change the matter for me.  

In the program we often talk about the definition of "insanity"..."Doing the same things over and over again expecting different  results.  If you don't like what you've been doing and are afraid of doing something different...do something more different checking out the consequences you want.  Choose the consequence you want and make the choice to get that.   Al-Anon rocket science when my sponsor taught me.   It's easy to catch an alcoholic/addict.  Everyone knows whats going on and only they are lying about it.

Keep coming back ((((hugs)))) smile



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cnh502


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Fully understand the meaning -- sick and tired of being sick and tired! I am right there with you.



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Courtney
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