The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
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Rough couple of days here. My ABF got stink drunk, called to tell me he met a women at a bar than had the women call me. He was upset because I went to a meeting and he claims i put that before him. I said some really horrible things to him, out of the anger, things he did not know and i never intended to tell him. He called some 30 times in the next day till I blocked anyway of him calling me. He has put me through soooooooo much pain, worry, chaos and distress I had to say NO MORE and break it off. I have done that several times before but after the words I spoke he wont be chasing me anymore, ahhh peace and freedom. Went to an AA meeting last night, not my first, I cried though the whole meeting. The stories I heard I knew to well and I was so hurt my ABF could never realized how much damage he did to me, himself, us and others close to him. I try to understand why I was never more imporrtant then his next drink, that it is his disease not him...but really can't get past the choices he made. I'm sad to see it end, I guess the booze won!!!
Ahh, the story is never quite over till it's over Heather.... I prefer to look at it that the "booze is winning" right now (tongue in cheek, of course, but I just mean he is choosing his addiction over all other things at the moment).
As for it being "the end", just remember - Toby has a chapter in her book entitled something along the lines of "it's hard to lose the alcoholic", so you just never know...
Bottom line - it's a GREAT time to dive head first into YOUR recovery, and do the things you need to do for you....
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I had to laugh at what Tom said because I was thinking that as I read your post Heather. It really is hard to loose an addict, just when you think it's done .. here comes another round.
Keeping the focus on me is the only way I have survived this past year of major rollercoaster riding.
Please know you are not alone and keep coming back, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I want to lose the alcoholic, i think? Or at the very least stop the crazy ride forever. So with him gone after my painful words isn't that good? I was never able to separate him from the disease, it was always such a chaotic, hurtful life balled up in to one mess! I may go insane with another ride. As always I am lifted by your support and kindness...Thank you!
