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what affects me directly
(Preview)
Hello! This is my first post. I have been with al-anon now for about 1 year and still struggling. I think I have a handle and then something else happens! My AH came home from work today drunk again. Been on a binge for about a week now. Since I have been getting better, he has slightly as well until thi...
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rmbergeron1
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4
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242
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venting: I AM STRONG, VULNERABLE, HURT, SENSIBLE... so what? I'm NOT a VICTIM.
(Preview)
Hey there, I'm a thanful member of Al Anon. I have been silent for some time, giving me space and peace, and building myself up again. I split up with my ABF 2 months ago, ...I still say I wouldn't have done it by myself, because I loved him very much..but i was kind of forced to, it was so obvious the abuse and...
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tortuga
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2
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308
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CONGRADULATION BLONDIE....
(Preview)
3 years in recovery!! You go girl!! and keep coming back also. (((((hugs)))))
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Jerry F
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7
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241
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Nice week and weekend
(Preview)
Hi everyone Last week I had my house all cleaned by professionals and it feels so good. The weekend was great not having one thing to do but what I wanted. Got a call from my son on Sunday and he asked if I would drive him over to look at a car. I agreed, picked him up and when over to see it. Nice and clean,...
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Cathyinaz
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6
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354
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STEP WORK BOARD
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53264714/alanon-step-1/
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hotrod
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5
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220
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Just when I thought my AM was at a turning point this happens....
(Preview)
I came home from work today to find my AM drinking as per usual. She was slurring her words, she wanted more wine. Yelling ensued between my dad and my AM, he pushed her. I didn't see any of this, I only heard it. My AM's best friend and my AM are downstairs talking, about what I don't know.
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phoenixmagicgirl
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6
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249
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Where do I find the strength to deal or support or help my alcoholic husband
(Preview)
My husband of 13 years has been abusing alcohol most of our marriage (I never really realized it until about 5 years ago). It is hard for me to believe or accept that I accepted it...he verbally abused me for most of my marriage. I had always just thought I wasn't doing a good job....so he sort of was in the...
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sadsusie
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23
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390
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Do you live some place where Alanons get tokens like AA's
(Preview)
Just curious if it's just our city that doesn't do it.
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Tasha
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13
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728
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Countdown?
(Preview)
So I just googled "How long does cocaine stay in your system" because my AH has an appt w/ his probation officer this Wednesday. He just failed a drug test 2 weeks ago (+ for cocaine, THC & benzos(?) ) and I'm starting to obsess over what is going to happen. Yes, he's still been smokin...
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NicoleDiver
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4
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252
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When you see crazy coming, cross the street
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npMY95o2C4g So today at my meeting, we discussed patience. One page that was read was about being patient with yourself. You may not understand all you have read, been told or experienced, but when you sit and continue with meetings and become patient and gen...
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1976love
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4
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389
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Unexpectedly Noticing Progress (updating profile)
(Preview)
Hello, my name is Tonya! I am 36 years old and have been with my A for 10 years now. I have another A in my life and that is my mother. For the most part of 10 years I have focused on them and their decisions and have completely lost myself. I am great at my job and it seems like I have become my job and have no ot...
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Sincerely
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4
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241
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Lost my serenity tonight, big time
(Preview)
I'm so ashamed of myself -- i got really angry Tonight and yelled and screamed and was hurtful to someone who absolutely didn't deserve it. im kicking myself for letting my emotions take over, and become crazy like I was pre-alanon and wondering if I'm ever going to be at a point where I can just let thing...
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Findinghope
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6
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486
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Family Group @ AA Husbands Treatment
(Preview)
Today before a group of strangers I stated my greatest concern & fear of my husband coming home from inpatient treatment. It took courage. I prayed for strength. I said them passionately, without anger or bitterness. this evening I left a group of friends who all have the same concerns and fears....
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Sincerely
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2
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221
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NEW TO EVERYTHING
(Preview)
Hi there.... I am new to this site, and not sure if I am even posting in the right place. I'm not even positive what I need to be doing. I was never raised with anyone who had alcoholism, so this is all very new to me. All I know is that I am exhausted, and pretty sure I have tried everything under the sun with...
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Apparentlystupid
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37
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624
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Uncomfortably numb
(Preview)
Hi I would like to share where I am at right now. Outwardly, I am living my recovery. I am out meeting with friends and fellow members. I am keeping calm and trying to do the next right thing but inwardly I feel a bit numb with everything that is going on. I am walking on egg shells and I am a bit lost. Im not real...
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el-cee
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13
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356
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An Annual Blessing....
(Preview)
Aloha kakahiaka MIP Ohana. Good evening MIP family...This is Merrie Monarch time of the year and the time for hula competition with hula groups from all over coming into my town to show off their dancing skills and very very colorful attire. It's both Women and Men groups and this is the 50th year o...
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Jerry F
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11
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260
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AH is now in rehab
(Preview)
An update to my saga - tonight we admitted my addict husband into rehab. It went better and worse than I expected at times, but he's there. It was his choice, and so I didn't mind when the ugly addiction started lashing out at me - I knew what it was and was able to calmly explain that it was his decision and fo...
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Number30
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5
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335
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Just when I thought my AM was at a turning point this happens....
(Preview)
I came home from work today to find my AM drinking as per usual. She was slurring her words, she wanted more wine. Yelling ensued between my dad and my AM, he pushed her. I didn't see any of this, I only heard it. My AM's best friend and my AM are downstairs talking, about what I don't know.
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phoenixmagicgirl
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3
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194
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Turning the corner and making up for lost time
(Preview)
It's been a couple weeks since I've posted but I've been reading everyone's stories. So hard to see the challenges some of our Al-Anon brothers and sisters are facing. I say a prayer every day for our bretheren here on MIP and for those who haven't yet walked into the rooms. Me - I'm doing pretty good - fee...
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blondie99
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7
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475
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A step in the right direction for my AM?...
(Preview)
We had my AM's best friend and her husband come up this week from FL and so far there haven't been any difficult situations involving my AM's drinking, which I'm very grateful to my HP for. My AM was very open with her best friend about her drinking, my AM told her best friend that she's heard others say tha...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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5
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230
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Waiting passionately for patience ..
(Preview)
I thought that was the neatest concept I heard shared recently. I don't believe in praying for strength, patience, because I do believe that the God of my understanding will deliver these lessons and so not the way I enjoy them. LOL!! That whole the apple didn't fall far from the tree in terms of God'...
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Pushka
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4
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891
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Having a confidant in my boss
(Preview)
It's been a huge relief for me to be able to have a confidant in both my boss and our sous chef (I work in a cafe). To be able to share with them as both an employee and friend has helped me to feel as if I'm not on this crazy roller coaster ride alone. It's been very helpful to have their support.
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phoenixmagicgirl
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1
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289
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Face To Face Meetings
(Preview)
My city has 2 face to face meetings. 6pm Sunday Night and 10 am Friday Mornings. I have a million excuses on why they are never convenient for me. On Sundays, I'm normally winding down and getting settled in for the evening. On Fridays, i'm at work. I need to dedicate some time to go to church and an ala...
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Sincerely
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5
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253
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There always must be a culprit in our home
(Preview)
I feel rather sarcastic right now. I feel like I want to make a silly joke out of this behaviour, yet I know sarcasm will get me nowhere. Almost week at home with my parents and our family perfection needs to be maintained to the outsider's eye. God help me shall I decide to make a mistake or silly decision....
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HappyToBe
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7
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334
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The past ..
(Preview)
I'm trying to reconsile at the moment the past, now for me as I've stated before I'm powerless over other people, places, things and the past. However, .. that being said I don't like or appreciate being spoon fed the past and then being told ohhh sorry that's in the past. Yes, it's in the past in terms o...
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Pushka
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15
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438
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After years, I am finally leaving ABF
(Preview)
Hi guys, I just wanted to say first how great all of the support over the years here has been amazing. Thank you! I posted a little while back about how I had come to a point where I felt I needed to leave my ABF of 4 years but felt that there was a wall between me and that outcome. He is not working a program, and w...
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Sangyaa
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16
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480
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Life after the A
(Preview)
My life has been crazy busy going to college full time, working every weekend and raising my 2 girls all alone, although I do have a couple great friends that help me with running our kids one way and I do the other, I have accepted it is on me to do all that I can to raise my girls to the best of my abilities. I h...
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Breakingfree
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5
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350
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It's a good day!!!
(Preview)
Went to a F2F last night - My HP really knows what he's doing! This was my 2nd meeting with this particular group - The first meeting I went to on Tuesday, I didn't share - just wasn't ready, I guess. But I went back last night, and the reading was about "Fear" - the passage that I read was about...
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cRaZyJaDe
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4
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243
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can't believe how good it is getting; actually I can!
(Preview)
More than one good day in a row! I wish I could share more! Some days I feel like I am floating on a pink cloud. This is something I heard in early recovery but then it was a negative thing--not for me! I want to ride the cloud & the wave as long as I am able. I feel a sense of relief. My AH & I are getting alo...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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272
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Just when I thought it couldn't get worse
(Preview)
So I took my son and left and went to a shelter. It's been about 10 days now, and I've been speaking to counsellors and trying to negotiate with my spouse to move out to an apt and let my son and I live in the house because it is near his school and it is way too much upheaval for a child. After much delay finall...
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forestfairy
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2
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409
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Asking AH to Get into a long term recovery program
(Preview)
Hello friends AH has checked himself into detox / mental health facility again. This is the second time since the end of February. He has told his case worker that when he completes the 7 day inpatient he wants to go back to the 9-3 outpatient program. Both his case worker and I agree that he needs long-te...
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ParisMemories
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5
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305
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Back home, back to state of 'frozen'
(Preview)
Hi all. This great group and your shares on this page really keep me going for last few months. This is my first post and possible not last. I am currently visiting my home country, my hometown and staying with my folks that I haven't seen for past 18 months. We usually get on very well ( not surprising of co...
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HappyToBe
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3
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268
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Just a little note about soulmates
(Preview)
A little soulmate thought from my head.....I believe we have many soulmates hanging around for us and some come with expiration dates.
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PP
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8
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312
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Priorities
(Preview)
Our A daughter was told she has to be out of our home in June, has no money, no job and here she is, spending 9 hours today getting extensions in her hair!!!! Her birthday is tomorrow and she wants us to take her out to dinner!!!!! I don't get it, and perhaps never will............... -- Edited by LeenieBe...
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LeenieBeanie
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3
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233
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Surprise!! You've been divorced for 11 days!!
(Preview)
So, today I decided to check the online court forum and see if my soon to be ex husband had filed any new papers that I might not have found out about yet. We had filed a joinder and were doing our divorce without any hostility or fighting. It is just going to be over. We are just walking away. Sad that it h...
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cinders
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5
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314
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A treat to share...
(Preview)
I have just enjoyed my favourite walk in the mountains, starting near a shower of snow melt and passing through a narrow gorge where the river was tumbling in full flow. As the path climbed higher the mountain mists wrapped the wise old beech trees and when I reached the highest point of the path, where...
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milkwood
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4
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210
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A Daily Reading (re-posted from ACoA board)
(Preview)
Yesterday's daily reading REALLY hit me right between the eyes, and I wanted to share it with everyone. Hope you all get as much out of it as I did! Today I Accept My Mistakes I embrace my lack of perfection and I accept my mistakes. I have the right to be wrong. My self-worth does not have to evaporate when I...
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Red Hawk
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4
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4585
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Back to Zero AGAIN
(Preview)
I am so upset right now. :( AH was doing so well and he's been off the drugs for almost two weeks now and off the alcohol for two months but a few minutes ago, he just walked out of the front door to go to the smoke shop to get some spice. He's been going to his outpatient treatment classes but obviously, he'...
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Clueless Optimist
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4
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337
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Dealing with my Alcohaulic Mom
(Preview)
I am new to Alanon, and spent many years avoiding getting involved in Alanon until I was forced to when my life threw up. I grew up with an alcohaulic mother. She is now 16 years "sober" yet she still has all of the typical alcohaulic behaviors. Selfishness, narcassism, attention whoring. T...
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aroundthewayJ
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6
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228
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Just decided to cut off all contact with alcoholic parent
(Preview)
Hello all! First post on here. I mostly need a place to put this all down and hopefully get some support, thoughts, and advice from others going through it. My mother has been an alcoholic since I was about 12 or 13, right after her mother passed away. I'm 100% positive she was dealing with depression a...
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shortCakeSlayer
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2
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1540
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Alanon 12 steps?
(Preview)
Is there an actual set of directions on how to do the steps in Alanon anywhere? If so, what book are they in? i don't mean where the steps are TALKED about, but an actual, clear-cut set of directions? thanks!
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WorkingThroughIt
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12
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606
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I Scared.....
(Preview)
My adult son is going down hill physically and I can't get him to start taking care of himself by eating right and resting as he should. The years of drug abuse is now showing on him so very bad and I am helpless and I know it, but I love my son very much and remember the good times before drugs took him over. I...
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DreamsOver
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3
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374
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Resentful that AH 'seems' better
(Preview)
My AH had another black out binge about 2 weeks ago. He was traveling for work and when he came home he committed himself to NOT drinking....AGAIN. He says he knows I've heard it all before. He's still not going to go to AA and is basically doing this on willpower alone, as he's done so many other times i...
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ilovedogs
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12
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474
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Alcoholic father, drink himself to death, liver disease. Need to learn how to cope better.
(Preview)
Usual story: Dad lifelong heavy drinker, now textbook alcoholic. He has liver disease, quite advanced but not quite sure what stage. He has jaundice so its bad. He has good days and bad days. He cuts down, get stronger and then crashes and becomes a raging monster. I live 200 miles away and he is alone ha...
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skytraveler
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6
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456
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One day at a time
(Preview)
Its been a while since I posted anything. Mainly been really busy with the kids and working. Life just keeps going and there is so much going on. When I was married to my AH I always felt like a single parent, did everything myself, got little help from him. They are not his kids, but still he was a part o...
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cinders
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5
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417
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I am new here
(Preview)
Short version of my story I have been with my husband twelve years And about a year go he told me wanted divorce. Well I love him and told him this could be fixed. Well the back story is mom ther died unexpectedly three years ago and he never grieved her. And last week I found out he had an affair. This man is so...
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Jlr76
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3
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227
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how to handle and keep true to steps....
(Preview)
My husband has a friend I really don't like. He has done alot of drugs with him and his friend has been known to buy and sell stuff. Each time my husband has done something really bad it has been with or fromthis particular friend. He claims they are close like brothers and won't cut him off he just sneaks a...
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Rinn
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5
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402
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She is sick, sick, sick part 2
(Preview)
Hello all,Hope everyone at MIP had a wonderful weekend.Now for the rest of the story. For the past week our A daughter has been receiving unsolicited letters /post cards from defense attorneys. We knew something was up. Now, we find our A daughter not only got fired three weeks ago, she was arrested an...
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LeenieBeanie
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6
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319
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Trying to move on
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am trying to move on with my life with my children, but my AH just keeps coming back. He relapses, I kick him out, then he comes back. I am working on my legal and financial issues to protect myself and my kids, but it is so hard to maintain my sanity when he is physically near me. He and I don'...
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imom
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2
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247
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Anyone had this happened??? How do you cope???
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here and I'm a mess right now so please bare with me. Has anyone here have the A go dark on you? Totally ignore you? Cut contact with you out of nowhere? and literally disappear? Let you in complet dispair not knowing what happened or why they did it? The A in my life has done this several times and...
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seekinganswers
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8
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584
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alcoholic father in law and dementia
(Preview)
Hi everyone,haven't posted in a while.Hope everyone is doing good. My alcoholic father in law is 80 and showing signs of dementia or alzheimers.He drinks constantly and has for years.Taught my husband everything he knows.I'm wondering what will happen to him if he needs to be put in a nursing home an...
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pixie
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5
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408
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Need to stay strong and focused
(Preview)
AH had his last outpatient day today. He was drinking most of the weekend, so it is pretty clear that he can't do this on his own. A week ago he said he couldnt wait for IOP to end so he could go to AA everday, but who knows if he will follow through.
I am feeling pretty accepting of the drinking, he's gonna do...
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ParisMemories
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5
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413
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i'm not perfect
(Preview)
over the last 18 months i've been living totally seperately from my husband. went for months without even seeing him. i did talk to him each day. however i avoided seeing him, as his behavior was competely unacceptable to me. he was using and drinking excessively. my heart always wished he'd get h...
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Sincerely
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5
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269
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lil binge drinking? no sympathy from "accidents" that happen from me
(Preview)
.. this wkend, I did a lot of "me" stuff (painting etc) My AH did a lot of yard work, no telling how much he drank but by every night he couldnt talk and would stumble in the house. I just did my thing, and he did his. Our son came home Sat evening, my mother in law dropped him off 3 hours early with m...
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sweeetr
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5
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365
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Once again I take the bait
(Preview)
I thought I was over letting my stbxah lure me into an arguement. I know what he's doing and I've been doing so good at not responding to his nonsense but tonight I let him bait me into the crazy ranting and raving that I know he wanted. I have not heard from him for 3 weeks. Despite having serious financial...
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scaredandconfused
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6
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331
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Will Al-Anon help me with this.....
(Preview)
Now that my alcoholic ex has moved out and completely disappeared, I have had some quiet time to just sit with myself. Its been pretty uncomfortable, actually. And every time I start thinking something positive about no longer having to deal with him around, I feel guilty. How do you deal with that?...
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buffalo78
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3
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312
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a little nervous
(Preview)
Tonight is the night I go to my AH 90 day celebration meeting. Don't know why I am a little nervous. I have never been to an AA meeting ever. My husband says he has to speak and wants me there. I will go. I am proud of him for controlling the disease for 90 days...he's longest stretch ever. Every day is a...
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1976love
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4
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241
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i'm just really hurt.
(Preview)
What is wrong with me? I am serious. I kicked the alcoholic boyfriend out a few days ago and today it really hit me. I am just really hurt by all this. I feel like I keep going through this over and over and over again. Kicking him out, obsessing and worrying he is going to die.... I really thought this...
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buffalo78
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4
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398
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I wish my Higher Power would hurry the hell up and help me end this relationship
(Preview)
I've been in Al-Anon for almost 6 months now - and it's been an absolute roller coaster. For the first time in my life I now have the ability to sit back and see this family disease cause chaos in my family of origin - and in my own life.Today I had a huge argument with my partner. I've been ummm-ing and ahhh-i...
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CeeBee
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9
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391
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Do the resentments against the A's ever go away?
(Preview)
Today my son asked me to report his baseball home runs on a website, he couldn't figure out how to do it. I figured it out and reported them. I found myself feeling resentful again, I thought to myself, why can't my ex husband do this? Do the resentments ever go away?
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mercedes1959
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6
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429
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