The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, today I decided to check the online court forum and see if my soon to be ex husband had filed any new papers that I might not have found out about yet. We had filed a joinder and were doing our divorce without any hostility or fighting. It is just going to be over. We are just walking away. Sad that it has come to this. On Monday April 8th it was going to be 90 days since he had filed the divorce papers and since he is an A and has done some shady things I wanted to just check and be sure right before the date and make sure nothing new had happened that I did not know about. Guess what? On March 22nd he had filed amended divorce decree and it was entered and signed as a final order on March 25th. So, I have been officially divorced for 11 days now and did not even know it. Funny that it has not felt any different. At least the paper he filed was not not anything that made a difference to anything. That one scared me.
So now that it is setting in my heart is absolutely breaking. I can't believe he threw away so much. But, I knew also that he would do this very thing. He is an alcoholic and he is deep in his personal disease. I am glad to be free of all of that, yet am sad to admit that I am a 38 year old twice divorced mother of four teenagers who is going through a short sale of her home and may have to file bankruptcy if it doesn't work. Who has become over weight, depressed and now grey haired and add to it possible diagnosis of ms and psuedo tumuor cerebi and I am not exactly much of a catch anymore in life. Ugh!! I hate where it is all going!!
Ok, after I cry it out tonight since I was not prepared for my divorce to be final today and I don't get to plan to have my support team around me, I promise I will pull up my big girl panties tomorrow and get on with my day again. I just was not ready for this curve ball. I thought I was going to be ready for this day. Maybe its my HP's way of just getting it over with so that I did not have to spend the day thinking about it and wondering while it was going on since I would not be there. Oh well, its over and done.
Take your time and feel all the feelings and stages that come with a divorce, this is a big deal, don't rush it or try to rub some dirt on it and pretend it's not as bad as it is. I dove into my al-anon program, meetings, got a sponsor and read everything al-anon I could get my hands on and it all helped me get through my divorce and I came out better in the end. Sending you much love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Why did your divorce have to be amended? That makes me suspisous for you!! As long as you feel comfortable that nothing is weird that's fine .. it's odd.
Hugs hugs hugs .. getting a divorce is like death only in a weird way it's worse there's no place to go to grieve .. where's the grave site? It's ok to greive I encourage you to because grief is a very normal emotion and it needs to be felt so that the proper closure can be felt. Everyone comes to the end of their grief on their own terms and not when other people tell them they need to be over it by the way. So if you feel sad about the ending of your marriage, feel sad and know that this too shall pass. Find a way though that when you decide to close that door that you can do so in a very symbolic way so it's a physical letting go.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
It was just a single sentence. Believe me I looked it over very closely. Instead of it saying we would cooperate in the sale of the home it said we would both still own the home and cooperate in the sale of the home. Which I find to be very odd because duh, we both still own the home till it is sold since it is in both our names. What I did not like is that it was done without any notice to me and without me seeing the papers before they were signed when we had done a joinder. That I found suspicious.
Good .. LOL .. stuff like that I immediately go hmmm .. WTH .. what does this mean and why does it say that one line or twenty .. someone does something and doesn't tell me? No way!!!
Hugs .. I'm glad you are here. :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
