Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nelson619 · nelson619

I'm fairly new to this but long story short, my girlfriend is an alchoholic. She goes on crazy benders (a lot more infrequently than she used to thank god) but nonetheless it happens. My question is what is the best way to deal with the hangover? When she finally comes out of it and is feeling like microwa...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I am so impressed with all the great slogans that I hear people use here on the board and in chat. Is there a link to a place where they are all listed (hopefully with explanations of what each means and how I can use it). I cannot tell everyone how much just repeating the 3 Cs (I didn't cause it, I can't cure i...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, I haven't been on here in a while. Last time I posted, I was going through the slow agony of grieving the loss of my marriage...at the time, we were still living under the same roof. AH was still drinking. He had been having an affair and I knew it, I was just in denial, sorting through my fee...

Jerry F · Jerry F

God will do for me what I cannot and often time will not do for myself. Dinner last evening was an expectation. Not a biggie...promises were made along with plans and though I wasn't looking forward to something I would have no control over unless it was me alone it turned out to be another exclamati...

Jerry F · Jerry F

And my eldest son will be in attendance along with my program and without unnecessary mention our Higher Power. His house is out of order...a shambles...looking like an old cabin long forgotten in the deep woods; abandoned. He has lived the metaphor of a life forgotten, undone, trashed and I wil...

sadsusie · sadsusie

My life (our life) has continued to be stressful. MY AH is continuing his path of personal destruction, and unfortunately I allowed myself to be consumed by the rubble. I have destroyed my laptop, my bedroom door, and my morale. I suppose all these years of feeling and being controlled makes me all the...

John · John

I said the Serenity Prayer a few times today and I'm okay. I was informed that I did not qualify for sliding scale medical assistance from a community clinic, to simply get a physical and some basic blood work done. I'm down to 121 lbs, from 142 just over a year ago. Do not have a clue as to why I'm losing t...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

So today I continued keeping the focus on me. When I woke up this morning, no kidding, but there was a tune vrunning through my head

laurab · laurab

I've been off the boards for 3 months since we came home from Thailand with my son. He had a 3 week beer binge, in Phuket. No food. He wound up in the ICU He was a mess. I went there and brought him home. We went right to the local ER where they scanned and MRIed his head and found he was ok. He looked and spoke like...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Back in my Unsure mode. Ah sober 7 which I will stop referring to . ah . Has been out of my home for 30 days but not completely he would find a way to come back home for something . I had a long talk with him the other day positive ! I opened up and told him my inventory hmmmm was that a smart move on my half at the time...

nelson619 · nelson619

My girlfriend owns a bar and I am the head bartender at it too. Great job for an alchoholic I know! Sometimes she falls out with her business partner, goes on a bender and nearly closes the doors for good. We work predominantly all our shifts together and when a bender is finished and she is pissed off with...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was asked to watch the movie " Life of Pi " and how I can relate to the Tiger. I watched it this morning and I'm having a hard time with it. Don't know why but I can't seem to quit crying....Why? Is it because I need to live with life on Life's terms, that I can't control and that I have to let go? I...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

It was hard, but today I kept the focus on me. He is doing what he does, but I am determined to find good in this day.

Harriet Zilber · Harriet Zilber

I have gone to several beginners meetings and found be wonderful wonderful, but regular meetings are troubling to me. Hearing the individual experiences and the pain that accompanies feels like a extension of my work day. Although I get a great deal from the teachings, it is not enough to overcome th...

Gaby · Gaby

I got a phone call from my son that is currently in rehab on Saturday and I was scared to talk to him because I felt I was going to have a complete break down after not been able to talk to him in 35 days. But he sounds great and after so long he also shared that he quit smoking. I believe in my heart he wants sobrie...

Bettina · Bettina

Suggestions when your not feeling your best: Open your life by finding ways to help others Expand the activities in your life. Be a positive influence wherever you go. Don't be a whiner. Don't dwell in the past. Look for solutions. Pray to expand your life force. Be convinced that everything is for...

el-cee · el-cee

I would like to share with you where I am right now. My son is still homeless, he has not sorted anything out in terms of housing because he has court, that has been ongoing since January, so he thinks it would be useless to get accomodation if there is a chance he will go to prison. I have not heard from him fo...

Jen61 · Jen61

I can see the affects almost immediately, I can smell it and taste it, but no I am not drinking. You must be mistaken. It is only water. Wow.

grateful2be · grateful2be

I went to work today. I went through the front door of the large historic building that I work in and parked my car on the side of the building close to the front steps. I do that because we have a circular drive in an inner-city neighborhood and it helps to cut down on folks using my drive to sell drugs. So...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Going through the detachment process and really experiencing what it means is more complicated than I had anticipated. 1. My moods are just not the same for an elongated period of days or weeks. It is changing every day in terms of if I am happy and want to be around people, or sad. 2. And the types of actua...

Lyne · Lyne

My A went to pick up dinner 10 min from our house and was gone an hour and 15. And of course it's a place that has a bar and she has sat alone there drinking. The bad news is that I asked her if she was drinking and of course she denied it. The good news is that I stayed calm, there was no drama, and I don't believ...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Something that Pinkchip shared with me recently has recently stuck with me: the statement in the subject: crazy is as crazy does. I don't know how many of you do this but I find myself still analyzing all of my AH's actions. It's infuriating that I waste my mental energy trying to figure out the actions...

Pushka · Pushka

It has been a peaceful day today the first one since last Friday evening and I am VERY grateful at this point. It's pretty sad when I realized that OMGosh .. today is the first day I haven't seen a deputy, been to the court house, gotten any texts OR had to deal with my atty. That's pretty huge. Instead of...

Jerry F · Jerry F

You all know I'm a double. You all know that I started in Al-Anon before entering AA. I took my Al-Anon program into those rooms or else. I am long past wondering or worrying how another alcoholic reacts to my programing. I know that guilt and shame on my part works wonders for their parts and soooo...

hotrod · hotrod

'http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54066479/step-6-alanon/

Rose50 · Rose50

My son has relapsed (yet again) and had checked himself into the psych unit where he remained for 2 weeks. he was diagnosed with major depression and put on meds. Currently he's in inpatient facility for alcohol abuse where he's receiving counseling and attending AA meetings. He recently lost his j...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, My father goes back to work on Monday after being on disability for depression/alcoholism. This time though he said he has a meeting with HR, his boss, his boss' boss and the rehab person from the insurance company that does his disability insurance. He sounded surprisingly upbeat abo...

PP · PP

To all of the men who are fathers in any capacity, here is a Happy Father's Day greeting to you....and thank you for your service.

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

I write on here rarely but I'm feeling upset tonight. My man has been doing brilliantly..or so I think. He has reduced his alcohol intake to 4 pints a night, a little more on weekends. Well he has had to. he has got into such debt after subsidising his drinking with payday loans that he is now in troubl...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I recently posted on Attitude and how I perceived it so vague I couldn't even see the word clear. It was basically to me a negative feeling I was casting through the air. It Felt like a Major Defect, and who knows for me, maybe it is. I began to view it as what am I telling my mind. Am I constantly putting i...

AngieK · AngieK

I'm uncomfortable with this. My fella tried to get help, but they said they couldn't help because it wasn't daily. It's been a year, or so I think, but the results are no different- no keys, no wallet, a pocket full of receipts, at least this time no car which means someone dropped him off. Hours of worry,...

Bettina · Bettina

Everything passes. Both soaring joy and crushing sorrows fade away like a dream. However, the knowledge of having lived one's life to the fullest never disappears!

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

assuming others have also had this experience ? needing ' emotional ' support. This weekend we have family in town that are very successful financial and status wise. They own a firm and are beautiful people and yet I see through the busy of making things look good. On the surface, everything looks...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

My ah sober 7 months has been a little better to deal with. With him not here in the home I'm able to function and think on my own. My emotions still are up and down but I seem to catch it fast enought to control them.. The lack of al Alon meetings I have not been attending do to child care I still go up in my room an...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have a dear friend who I don't get to see as often as I like. She and I met today, and she told me she learned a coping technique at her AlAnon meeting which I thought sounded like one I can try. (Disclaimer: I didn't attend the F2F meeting, so might not have the technique down pat) She said: when you are g...

John · John

Hello Everyone, I am scared. I doubt most will understand the depths of despair i am in and feeling. I have never been a big man. The most i have ever weighed was 142 lbs at 5"11'. I have worn a size 32 pant in the waist since my early 20's. Now, i am 54 and in the last 2 years i lost 24 lbs, 4 pant sizes for an a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Why fear it now. Trust God...clean house...help others. My mind was trying to give me cause to fear and panic while I was working yesterday doing labor in my yard. I got to revisit an event which happened after and as a result of being in a head-on accident. When the EMTs came to take me out of the wreck...

Pushka · Pushka

Since I have been living at the court house recently it's been very entertaining to say the least. I love to people watch and then it's funny as you see the same people as far as law enforcement and people who work there, it's an interesting system. It's not always fair and it's not always just, .. at lea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So day by day it gets easier to recover from anything! Today it is my vision; tomorrow it will be something else but I am ready to face whatever comes my way! For all who don't know this has been quite of road of recovery for me. I have been in & out of this program for many years. I am just now learning how t...

rehprof · rehprof

so...today the exA stopped by to put up a heavy bag for my 16yo son. After the job was done he asked my son to go out in the driveway...I heard a pop-pop -- he was showing my son his that his silencer is now made to fit on his .22. There is always this subtle message of violence...and I hate it. He knows I hate gun...

Pushka · Pushka

Things are moving along at expedited speeds and that is a good thing. There is another pre-trial date in about 4 weeks which means I will meet with STBAX, his atty and mine in the next two weeks. At least I think so .. I am grateful that there is an end date and all of a sudden things got REALLY serious. T...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I am not sure what to do. My exah has supervised visitation which is also what our 12 yo daughter wants/is comfortable with. BUT he continues to break boundaries and I am not sure how far to push back. Last night he gt a new cell number & contacted her drunk & told her to keep it a secret from me. She s...

IrishMama6 · IrishMama6

This is my first post. I am scared. My Therapist said 'Go to an Al-Anon meeting. It will help." I'm afraid to go. I'm afraid AH and I will fight. He's a weekend binge drinker. He's done this his whole life. He was raised around it. When you're not working you drink. He doesn't do it during t...

Jozie · Jozie

In an Unbalanced World... How is it that in this Disease it seems the only time i Feel my Feet Safely planted on the ground is when i am surrounded by Chaos? I don't get it... When things pop Up and I Have No Time to 'Over Think it' It seems it rolls smoother, but when i take the time to Respond instead of React,...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband has been sober for a few years he had been going to meetings faithfully. I just found out that he has been lying about going to meetings. He has been going to "meetings" and working steps with newcomers. I confronted my husband about it and asked him where he had been. At first he sai...

4st7lb · 4st7lb

I feel like the 12 step and AA which is touted as the only way to stop drugs and drinking when you are bad off is too heavily centered around the Christian Faith. for someone like me who doesn't believe in any religion whatsoever there is no difference between us and animals and no paranormal outsider is g...

Lyne · Lyne

I've tried to explain some issues to my A as clearly and detailed as possible, and without hostility. She doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it, got it and blocked it right out, or speaks some other language than myself. I honestly think I can communicate better with my 2 yr old granddaughter! A's ar...

ms1414 · ms1414

I will be married to my AH for 27 years next month. We have been together since the age of 13 and were married and had two boys by the age of 21. He became an alcoholic going on 6 years now, when his brother died of a sudden heart attack, who also was an alcoholic. We did the counseling three years ago, he gave t...

samc · samc

Hi everyone! I'm still pretty new here, read a lot and post little - which is unlike my RL; I talk a LOT. :) I thought I'd share a little about some progress I have made. As a child, one of my survival mechanisms was escapism. I had an active imagination, and loved to spend hours playing alone, making up frie...

kadyyo · kadyyo

Honestly, I don't even know where to being. Unfortunately this will be longwinded. Alcohol is baffling, cunning, powerful and so is my love for my alcoholic boyfriend, but is love sometimes not enough? I have been dating my alcoholic boyfriend for 3 years this July. Over these few years I have been th...

Linda77 · Linda77

I don't want to go home. My son lost another job last week. He is 35 years old and his alcoholism is getting worse. He knows this, and yesterday he told a neighbor he would go to an AA meeting this Thursday. But, since he lost this job last week, each day he's gets meaner. I've been divorced since 1989 and alw...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My husband is an alcoholic. He has been arrested for DUI, and many many more times, drank and drove but wasn't caught. Throughout our lives together, he was usually drunk when I needed him (so he was unavailable). He never got help, or went to AA, but one day our adult son went to his workplace and foun...

kris1109 · kris1109

I am new to this message board. Reading some of the posts here is the first time I haven't felt like I am alone in so long. Not that I wish this chaos on any of you, but it sure does help to know that there are people who get it. I have been dealing with my A for 13 years to varying degrees. We have a child togeth...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

for years I was told (anytime I expressed my own opinion, which at times was what others didn't want to hear, I was told I had an attitude. This grew so big through the years that I felt attitude was based on feelings. all I knew is I thought there was something truly wrong with me, such as, I was difficul...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

This is an unspoken boundary, mainly because it's against the law for AH to do what he did anyway. I went away for the weekend and AH found my spare key and drove my car this past weekend. I always write down the mileage when I go away, it's been a habit of mine for a year now and yes, there have been other tim...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I have not posted here in a long time. I have no clue what to do. My life has not changed - it has gotten worse. My husband is still the drinking, sneaky, lying, SOB he was before. He is an addict, he needs help, he cannot do this on his own. Until he finds that illusive help, he will continue to destroy hi...

Bettina · Bettina

"Never be defeated by the visible" -- Edited by Bettina on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 07:20:57 PM

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I was so down when I posted this morning. Little sleep, a headache from crying, swollen eyes and a dread of the day to come. In the past my AH's detoxes and been extremely hard. Day 1 is seizures and 2 & 3 get progressively worse with hallucenations and violent outbursts causing restraints to have to...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As I work my program and find out more about myself I see a really bad side of me. I hurt this morning and having a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes it seems I will never get to a point to be able to make amends to anyone in my life. Just got to say it's hard to think about all my wrongs and problems and try...

Bettina · Bettina

I found out yesterday that my X A is in ICU and in critical condition. He had been missing in action for a few weeks. He has nobody, just a few celeb friends in AA he hangs with, but nobody substantial. He has been living in his car for almost 2 years and somebody found him unresponsive and took him to the E.R....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The right way to act after a bender - remorse. Hangover remorse enabling girlfriend help (Preview) I'm fairly new to this but long story short, my girlfriend is an alchoholic. She goes on crazy benders (a lot more infrequently than she used to thank god) but nonetheless it happens. My question is what is the best way to deal with the hangover? When she finally comes out of it and is feeling like microwa...	nelson619	10	9035	Jun 20, 2013 by Pushka
	Is there a link to the "slogans"? (Preview) I am so impressed with all the great slogans that I hear people use here on the board and in chat. Is there a link to a place where they are all listed (hopefully with explanations of what each means and how I can use it). I cannot tell everyone how much just repeating the 3 Cs (I didn't cause it, I can't cure i...	lgnutah	5	688	Jun 20, 2013 by lgnutah
	Abusive Personalities vs Alcoholism (Preview) Hi, I haven't been on here in a while. Last time I posted, I was going through the slow agony of grieving the loss of my marriage...at the time, we were still living under the same roof. AH was still drinking. He had been having an affair and I knew it, I was just in denial, sorting through my fee...	Minaret	3	588	Jun 20, 2013 by hotrod
	Unmet expectations... (Preview) God will do for me what I cannot and often time will not do for myself. Dinner last evening was an expectation. Not a biggie...promises were made along with plans and though I wasn't looking forward to something I would have no control over unless it was me alone it turned out to be another exclamati...	Jerry F	6	390	Jun 20, 2013 by bud
	Dinner tonight... (Preview) And my eldest son will be in attendance along with my program and without unnecessary mention our Higher Power. His house is out of order...a shambles...looking like an old cabin long forgotten in the deep woods; abandoned. He has lived the metaphor of a life forgotten, undone, trashed and I wil...	Jerry F	9	573	Jun 19, 2013 by ilovedogs
	When there is nothing left to give. (Preview) My life (our life) has continued to be stressful. MY AH is continuing his path of personal destruction, and unfortunately I allowed myself to be consumed by the rubble. I have destroyed my laptop, my bedroom door, and my morale. I suppose all these years of feeling and being controlled makes me all the...	sadsusie	10	781	Jun 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Disappointed about medical funding situation... but okay. (Preview) I said the Serenity Prayer a few times today and I'm okay. I was informed that I did not qualify for sliding scale medical assistance from a community clinic, to simply get a physical and some basic blood work done. I'm down to 121 lbs, from 142 just over a year ago. Do not have a clue as to why I'm losing t...	John	7	483	Jun 19, 2013 by pinkchip
	Good Day - Day 2 (Preview) So today I continued keeping the focus on me. When I woke up this morning, no kidding, but there was a tune vrunning through my head	ParisMemories	5	263	Jun 19, 2013 by el-cee
	Ups and downs and down some more (Preview) I've been off the boards for 3 months since we came home from Thailand with my son. He had a 3 week beer binge, in Phuket. No food. He wound up in the ICU He was a mess. I went there and brought him home. We went right to the local ER where they scanned and MRIed his head and found he was ok. He looked and spoke like...	laurab	3	553	Jun 19, 2013 by el-cee
	My feeling change like the wind (Preview) Back in my Unsure mode. Ah sober 7 which I will stop referring to . ah . Has been out of my home for 30 days but not completely he would find a way to come back home for something . I had a long talk with him the other day positive ! I opened up and told him my inventory hmmmm was that a smart move on my half at the time...	Ms co-dependent	10	766	Jun 18, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	Am I enabling? enabling work conflict arguments stress (Preview) My girlfriend owns a bar and I am the head bartender at it too. Great job for an alchoholic I know! Sometimes she falls out with her business partner, goes on a bender and nearly closes the doors for good. We work predominantly all our shifts together and when a bender is finished and she is pissed off with...	nelson619	9	8610	Jun 18, 2013 by Mattie
	Life of PI (Preview) I was asked to watch the movie " Life of Pi " and how I can relate to the Tiger. I watched it this morning and I'm having a hard time with it. Don't know why but I can't seem to quit crying....Why? Is it because I need to live with life on Life's terms, that I can't control and that I have to let go? I...	Cathyinaz	12	619	Jun 18, 2013 by Temple
	Good day (Preview) It was hard, but today I kept the focus on me. He is doing what he does, but I am determined to find good in this day.	ParisMemories	6	432	Jun 18, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Psychologist needing Al Anon (Preview) I have gone to several beginners meetings and found be wonderful wonderful, but regular meetings are troubling to me. Hearing the individual experiences and the pain that accompanies feels like a extension of my work day. Although I get a great deal from the teachings, it is not enough to overcome th...	Harriet Zilber	18	851	Jun 18, 2013 by tiredtonite
	A phone call... (Preview) I got a phone call from my son that is currently in rehab on Saturday and I was scared to talk to him because I felt I was going to have a complete break down after not been able to talk to him in 35 days. But he sounds great and after so long he also shared that he quit smoking. I believe in my heart he wants sobrie...	Gaby	13	565	Jun 18, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Create Value with everything you do.! (Preview) Suggestions when your not feeling your best: Open your life by finding ways to help others Expand the activities in your life. Be a positive influence wherever you go. Don't be a whiner. Don't dwell in the past. Look for solutions. Pray to expand your life force. Be convinced that everything is for...	Bettina	5	319	Jun 18, 2013 by Jerry F
	Mixed feelings (Preview) I would like to share with you where I am right now. My son is still homeless, he has not sorted anything out in terms of housing because he has court, that has been ongoing since January, so he thinks it would be useless to get accomodation if there is a chance he will go to prison. I have not heard from him fo...	el-cee	8	442	Jun 18, 2013 by Gaby
	I must have stupid on my forehead (Preview) I can see the affects almost immediately, I can smell it and taste it, but no I am not drinking. You must be mistaken. It is only water. Wow.	Jen61	14	657	Jun 18, 2013 by Jen61
	A stranger on my back porch (Preview) I went to work today. I went through the front door of the large historic building that I work in and parked my car on the side of the building close to the front steps. I do that because we have a circular drive in an inner-city neighborhood and it helps to cut down on folks using my drive to sell drugs. So...	grateful2be	7	575	Jun 18, 2013 by el-cee
	Detachment is complex (Preview) Going through the detachment process and really experiencing what it means is more complicated than I had anticipated. 1. My moods are just not the same for an elongated period of days or weeks. It is changing every day in terms of if I am happy and want to be around people, or sad. 2. And the types of actua...	giraffe13	14	521	Jun 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	slight set back tonight (Preview) My A went to pick up dinner 10 min from our house and was gone an hour and 15. And of course it's a place that has a bar and she has sat alone there drinking. The bad news is that I asked her if she was drinking and of course she denied it. The good news is that I stayed calm, there was no drama, and I don't believ...	Lyne	5	337	Jun 17, 2013 by Bettina
	Crazy is as crazy does (Preview) Something that Pinkchip shared with me recently has recently stuck with me: the statement in the subject: crazy is as crazy does. I don't know how many of you do this but I find myself still analyzing all of my AH's actions. It's infuriating that I waste my mental energy trying to figure out the actions...	ilovedogs	6	499	Jun 17, 2013 by abbyalana
	Peace and quiet ... (Preview) It has been a peaceful day today the first one since last Friday evening and I am VERY grateful at this point. It's pretty sad when I realized that OMGosh .. today is the first day I haven't seen a deputy, been to the court house, gotten any texts OR had to deal with my atty. That's pretty huge. Instead of...	Pushka	5	499	Jun 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Do as I practice doing... (Preview) You all know I'm a double. You all know that I started in Al-Anon before entering AA. I took my Al-Anon program into those rooms or else. I am long past wondering or worrying how another alcoholic reacts to my programing. I know that guilt and shame on my part works wonders for their parts and soooo...	Jerry F	4	357	Jun 17, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Step 6 (Preview) 'http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54066479/step-6-alanon/	hotrod	0	364	Jun 16, 2013 by hotrod
	Your ESH needed - please (Preview) My son has relapsed (yet again) and had checked himself into the psych unit where he remained for 2 weeks. he was diagnosed with major depression and put on meds. Currently he's in inpatient facility for alcohol abuse where he's receiving counseling and attending AA meetings. He recently lost his j...	Rose50	12	460	Jun 16, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Dad goes back to work Mondayh (Preview) Hey Everyone, My father goes back to work on Monday after being on disability for depression/alcoholism. This time though he said he has a meeting with HR, his boss, his boss' boss and the rehab person from the insurance company that does his disability insurance. He sounded surprisingly upbeat abo...	slogan_jim	12	503	Jun 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Father's Day (Preview) To all of the men who are fathers in any capacity, here is a Happy Father's Day greeting to you....and thank you for your service.	PP	4	363	Jun 16, 2013 by Jerry F
	Just checking in..life hard today (Preview) I write on here rarely but I'm feeling upset tonight. My man has been doing brilliantly..or so I think. He has reduced his alcohol intake to 4 pints a night, a little more on weekends. Well he has had to. he has got into such debt after subsidising his drinking with payday loans that he is now in troubl...	Cherubhmm	3	360	Jun 16, 2013 by PP
	Self defeating Attitudes (Preview) I recently posted on Attitude and how I perceived it so vague I couldn't even see the word clear. It was basically to me a negative feeling I was casting through the air. It Felt like a Major Defect, and who knows for me, maybe it is. I began to view it as what am I telling my mind. Am I constantly putting i...	MeTwo2	6	587	Jun 16, 2013 by MeTwo2
	need to connect (Preview) I'm uncomfortable with this. My fella tried to get help, but they said they couldn't help because it wasn't daily. It's been a year, or so I think, but the results are no different- no keys, no wallet, a pocket full of receipts, at least this time no car which means someone dropped him off. Hours of worry,...	AngieK	5	342	Jun 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS (Preview) Everything passes. Both soaring joy and crushing sorrows fade away like a dream. However, the knowledge of having lived one's life to the fullest never disappears!	Bettina	7	340	Jun 15, 2013 by slogan_jim
	help .. status's (Preview) assuming others have also had this experience ? needing ' emotional ' support. This weekend we have family in town that are very successful financial and status wise. They own a firm and are beautiful people and yet I see through the busy of making things look good. On the surface, everything looks...	MeTwo2	3	367	Jun 15, 2013 by MeTwo2
	How to tell my AH I'm not ready yet (Preview) My ah sober 7 months has been a little better to deal with. With him not here in the home I'm able to function and think on my own. My emotions still are up and down but I seem to catch it fast enought to control them.. The lack of al Alon meetings I have not been attending do to child care I still go up in my room an...	Ms co-dependent	6	792	Jun 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	AlAnon technique for coping (Preview) I have a dear friend who I don't get to see as often as I like. She and I met today, and she told me she learned a coping technique at her AlAnon meeting which I thought sounded like one I can try. (Disclaimer: I didn't attend the F2F meeting, so might not have the technique down pat) She said: when you are g...	lgnutah	4	432	Jun 15, 2013 by el-cee
	I am such a mess! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am scared. I doubt most will understand the depths of despair i am in and feeling. I have never been a big man. The most i have ever weighed was 142 lbs at 5"11'. I have worn a size 32 pant in the waist since my early 20's. Now, i am 54 and in the last 2 years i lost 24 lbs, 4 pant sizes for an a...	John	35	2405	Jun 14, 2013 by Pushka
	If it isn't happening now... (Preview) Why fear it now. Trust God...clean house...help others. My mind was trying to give me cause to fear and panic while I was working yesterday doing labor in my yard. I got to revisit an event which happened after and as a result of being in a head-on accident. When the EMTs came to take me out of the wreck...	Jerry F	9	497	Jun 14, 2013 by Jozie
	Funny New Court Story - The God of my understanding (Preview) Since I have been living at the court house recently it's been very entertaining to say the least. I love to people watch and then it's funny as you see the same people as far as law enforcement and people who work there, it's an interesting system. It's not always fair and it's not always just, .. at lea...	Pushka	5	559	Jun 14, 2013 by Jackie11
	day by day it gets easier(so I think I will hang in) (Preview) So day by day it gets easier to recover from anything! Today it is my vision; tomorrow it will be something else but I am ready to face whatever comes my way! For all who don't know this has been quite of road of recovery for me. I have been in & out of this program for many years. I am just now learning how t...	Hoot Nanny	3	501	Jun 14, 2013 by hotrod
	What to do? (Preview) so...today the exA stopped by to put up a heavy bag for my 16yo son. After the job was done he asked my son to go out in the driveway...I heard a pop-pop -- he was showing my son his that his silencer is now made to fit on his .22. There is always this subtle message of violence...and I hate it. He knows I hate gun...	rehprof	10	557	Jun 14, 2013 by lgnutah
	Court Update .. (Preview) Things are moving along at expedited speeds and that is a good thing. There is another pre-trial date in about 4 weeks which means I will meet with STBAX, his atty and mine in the next two weeks. At least I think so .. I am grateful that there is an end date and all of a sudden things got REALLY serious. T...	Pushka	8	467	Jun 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Supervised visitation; ignoring boundaries (Preview) I am not sure what to do. My exah has supervised visitation which is also what our 12 yo daughter wants/is comfortable with. BUT he continues to break boundaries and I am not sure how far to push back. Last night he gt a new cell number & contacted her drunk & told her to keep it a secret from me. She s...	abbyalana	5	466	Jun 14, 2013 by Pushka
	Scared... (Preview) This is my first post. I am scared. My Therapist said 'Go to an Al-Anon meeting. It will help." I'm afraid to go. I'm afraid AH and I will fight. He's a weekend binge drinker. He's done this his whole life. He was raised around it. When you're not working you drink. He doesn't do it during t...	IrishMama6	7	368	Jun 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Tryin to Find Balance.... (Preview) In an Unbalanced World... How is it that in this Disease it seems the only time i Feel my Feet Safely planted on the ground is when i am surrounded by Chaos? I don't get it... When things pop Up and I Have No Time to 'Over Think it' It seems it rolls smoother, but when i take the time to Respond instead of React,...	Jozie	3	469	Jun 14, 2013 by Bettina
	I don't know what to do.... (Preview) My husband has been sober for a few years he had been going to meetings faithfully. I just found out that he has been lying about going to meetings. He has been going to "meetings" and working steps with newcomers. I confronted my husband about it and asked him where he had been. At first he sai...	newgirl17	10	839	Jun 13, 2013 by Bettina
	Help for atheists (Preview) I feel like the 12 step and AA which is touted as the only way to stop drugs and drinking when you are bad off is too heavily centered around the Christian Faith. for someone like me who doesn't believe in any religion whatsoever there is no difference between us and animals and no paranormal outsider is g...	4st7lb	14	652	Jun 13, 2013 by likemyheart
	Do A's understand English? (Preview) I've tried to explain some issues to my A as clearly and detailed as possible, and without hostility. She doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it, got it and blocked it right out, or speaks some other language than myself. I honestly think I can communicate better with my 2 yr old granddaughter! A's ar...	Lyne	12	534	Jun 13, 2013 by flinn66
	What to do? (Preview) I will be married to my AH for 27 years next month. We have been together since the age of 13 and were married and had two boys by the age of 21. He became an alcoholic going on 6 years now, when his brother died of a sudden heart attack, who also was an alcoholic. We did the counseling three years ago, he gave t...	ms1414	3	438	Jun 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Fantasy Lives (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm still pretty new here, read a lot and post little - which is unlike my RL; I talk a LOT. :) I thought I'd share a little about some progress I have made. As a child, one of my survival mechanisms was escapism. I had an active imagination, and loved to spend hours playing alone, making up frie...	samc	6	524	Jun 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I cheated on my alcoholic boyfriend.. (Preview) Honestly, I don't even know where to being. Unfortunately this will be longwinded. Alcohol is baffling, cunning, powerful and so is my love for my alcoholic boyfriend, but is love sometimes not enough? I have been dating my alcoholic boyfriend for 3 years this July. Over these few years I have been th...	kadyyo	4	1507	Jun 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I don't want to go home (Preview) I don't want to go home. My son lost another job last week. He is 35 years old and his alcoholism is getting worse. He knows this, and yesterday he told a neighbor he would go to an AA meeting this Thursday. But, since he lost this job last week, each day he's gets meaner. I've been divorced since 1989 and alw...	Linda77	10	540	Jun 13, 2013 by oldergal
	Husband sober for several years, got drunk today (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. He has been arrested for DUI, and many many more times, drank and drove but wasn't caught. Throughout our lives together, he was usually drunk when I needed him (so he was unavailable). He never got help, or went to AA, but one day our adult son went to his workplace and foun...	lgnutah	8	600	Jun 13, 2013 by hotrod
	So conflicted (Preview) I am new to this message board. Reading some of the posts here is the first time I haven't felt like I am alone in so long. Not that I wish this chaos on any of you, but it sure does help to know that there are people who get it. I have been dealing with my A for 13 years to varying degrees. We have a child togeth...	kris1109	6	468	Jun 13, 2013 by Jen61
	Attitude (Preview) for years I was told (anytime I expressed my own opinion, which at times was what others didn't want to hear, I was told I had an attitude. This grew so big through the years that I felt attitude was based on feelings. all I knew is I thought there was something truly wrong with me, such as, I was difficul...	MeTwo2	5	487	Jun 12, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Confronting when a boundary is crossed (Preview) This is an unspoken boundary, mainly because it's against the law for AH to do what he did anyway. I went away for the weekend and AH found my spare key and drove my car this past weekend. I always write down the mileage when I go away, it's been a habit of mine for a year now and yes, there have been other tim...	ilovedogs	11	764	Jun 12, 2013 by cwya
	nowhere to turn (Preview) I have not posted here in a long time. I have no clue what to do. My life has not changed - it has gotten worse. My husband is still the drinking, sneaky, lying, SOB he was before. He is an addict, he needs help, he cannot do this on his own. Until he finds that illusive help, he will continue to destroy hi...	DebLisa55	9	466	Jun 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thought for the Day!! (Preview) "Never be defeated by the visible" -- Edited by Bettina on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 07:20:57 PM	Bettina	3	282	Jun 12, 2013 by PP
	"Nightmare Update" (Preview) I was so down when I posted this morning. Little sleep, a headache from crying, swollen eyes and a dread of the day to come. In the past my AH's detoxes and been extremely hard. Day 1 is seizures and 2 & 3 get progressively worse with hallucenations and violent outbursts causing restraints to have to...	wornoutmrsfixit	6	421	Jun 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	I seem to be getting worse (Preview) As I work my program and find out more about myself I see a really bad side of me. I hurt this morning and having a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes it seems I will never get to a point to be able to make amends to anyone in my life. Just got to say it's hard to think about all my wrongs and problems and try...	Cathyinaz	13	603	Jun 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Emotions...X A close to death....again (Preview) I found out yesterday that my X A is in ICU and in critical condition. He had been missing in action for a few weeks. He has nobody, just a few celeb friends in AA he hangs with, but nobody substantial. He has been living in his car for almost 2 years and somebody found him unresponsive and took him to the E.R....	Bettina	10	459	Jun 11, 2013 by Bettina
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.