The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
And my eldest son will be in attendance along with my program and without unnecessary mention our Higher Power. His house is out of order...a shambles...looking like an old cabin long forgotten in the deep woods; abandoned. He has lived the metaphor of a life forgotten, undone, trashed and I will not make believe that he doesn't know and is blind. I got a call this afternoon from my daughter-in-law, his wife who left and went back home to family (traditionally and severely addicted) who said she will be coming here Friday to start closure on her past with him and make effort to move on into her own life. I am reserving emotions, working first at the acceptance of the reality of this which started 25 years ago. He will come for dinner and I will stay out of any conversation about the "mess" and that if he must talk about the "mess" he has to go do it somewhere else. We are not responsible for the blast and therefore the fallout. They created it "inspite" of anyone else might as well fix it the same way. He actually has not and will not direct a conversation toward me which might possibly be the result of experiencing my boundaries to things about him he insists on acting out with. It is freeing not to take the bait and then set the hook into myself. He is not my higher power...not even close. He can be the main actor on the stage tonight and then I don't have to and won't attend the play.
I'm grateful to all of you, my MIP family and the Al-Anon Family Groups for my serenity...it will not be forfited. Mahalo Akua. (((((hugs)))))
I am glad you shared and validated how you intend to respond at this family gathering. You are correct, your serenity is of the utmost importance and should not be sacrificed for any one or any thing
You are in my thoughts tonight Let us know how it goes.
Thank you for allowing me to witness your program at work and your planned choice for the atmosphere at dinner. Peace shared with no peace can bring peace. (1+0 = 1)
Jerry, I love your shares I learn so much. I always reread because they are deep and meaningful for me. I need to practice bringing my program and hp to the table when it comes to my son. Too often I play my part and mix the mess up a little bit. It's hard to see our son's living the life we don't want them to have.CCompassion and love are hard to gauge sometimes I go too far into pity and fear. It's like walking a tight rope for me. I aspire to reach the place you are. Thanks.x
Always Enjoy Seeing the Out Come of Your Recovery... You are an Amazing Spirit, and I Envy your Program, and hope to one day beable to work mine with the Same Ease/Balance/&Grace...
I'm sure you would a wonderful Light in a Not so Bright time for your Son... Prayers all went off Well for You & Your Family My Al-Anon Brother... Much Love, Respect & Prayers to you all