Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

luv123 · luv123

Thought I would share a cool meeting idea with my recovery pals: Today I went to a great special 3 hr. workshop Al-anon meeting on intimacy. It had so many well thought through ideas and a panel of people with very differing intimacy situations just answering questions out of their own experience--...

Bettina · Bettina

"It is wrong and immoral for a nation to supply intoxicating liquor to those who are addicted to drink ". Gandhi (10/2/1869-1/30/48) -- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 21st of September 2013 09:02:04 PM -- Edited by Bettina on Sunday 22nd of September 2013 12:34:55 AM

Melly1248 · Melly1248

One thing that's been hitting the "hurt" button with me is reading posts from people talking about their A as their "best friend" who has been "lost" to them. 'Cause my A used to be my best friend too, but I don't think about that anymore. It's been so long since there wa...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have noticed my program tools slipping with me basically living at school now and working the weekends. I have had to let house work go and am not able to make it to my Tuesday evening meetings or find time to do much else except school work. I am doing good in school, but they said this program was intense...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I have mentioned in the past that I decided to foster a cat so that I could give pet ownership a try and give me some company. They offered me a cat that had been poisoned by his previous owner and he started experiencing seizures. I br...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hi I'm not in my head or in my body I don't no where I am . My home is now a house of secrets the doors are closed and whispering begins . I have broke down my walls and busted my bubble I am open to all around me to gain access to . I'm scared my confusion has taking over me. I pray that my break down does not have my hu...

Sun sun · Sun sun

Hi everyone i have posted here a couple of times and find myself frequently seeking comfort and learning on these pages. So here I am again, and that can only mean there's been yet another drama with the ABH. Promises, promises. All broken. I kicked him out of the house a month ago after his abuse went b...

tortuga · tortuga

I am currently understanding 'taking care of ME' by observing very strictly anti-HALT

Hungry- I find pleasure in cooking and selecting healthy food--- my body seems to absorb this thankfully, I feel energetic and enjoy the cooking process...gives me creative ME time Angry- I'm tired to be angr...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family. Here is a small laugh for the day. My partner and I went to Jones Beach today to walk the beach, have lunch and feed the seagulls We purchased a .99 cent package of hot dogs from the Supermarket for the gulls and went to Subways and purchased a $5,00 Foot Long to share. We arrived at the b...

Christine · Christine

So my significant other was dry for a year with the help of antibuse (which he understood would make him violently ill) he made the decision to go off the meds and try drinking socially again. We have had so much go wrong in our year and a half relationship, a house shooting, a major flood, custody battle...

Lyne · Lyne

So yesterday and today I have experienced minor setbacks with my A. I'm not yelling at myself because I know I am making progress overall. But the setbacks did take me by surprise. Yesterday maybe we didn't communicate well. When I thought she would be coming home was not when she came home. She sa...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today, Saturday was the last day that the gal at the front desk worked.... We have quite a history...She came to work a year after I...At first it was "ok" then one day we were facebooking , chatting and she is AT WORK...doing this on company times...I was at home...I realized this and told h...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm a huge offender in that area ESPECIALLY when I started making a conscious decision about getting a divorce .. I got my hands on every single piece of paperwork I could get and started filing everything down. In my mind THAT is not snooping that is being proactive and thank goodness I was because he h...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Maybe my thinking is off on this, but I find myself no longer caring if working my program makes a difference for somebody else? Although I do want to carry the message, the results of that carrying of it simply doesn't interest me as much as it once did. What's more important to me is whether or not work...

Lyne · Lyne

A new member came to my F2F meeting and I saw myself-scared, not knowing what to expect, not knowing the prayer we say together or the format. I felt relief and gratitude after my first meeting and I hope she did too. A few of us spoke to her afterwards (myself included) and a man gave her the newcomer pa...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Enjoy!!

Melly1248 · Melly1248

So, I took a deep breath, and adjusted my thinking as best I could. See, before I wrote that last post, I made a little plea to the A- just a little one- I said "I'm really struggling with the isolation and loneliness at the moment, do you think you could make an effort to be friendly and speak nicely to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

"In order to keep it...you have to give it away"...My elder sponsor wedged that one into my head when he started to support my growth toward doing service for the program and others. It was cute to me then until I found out that it was really true. He also told me "If you really want to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't believe how things are going in my life these days. I feel the most positive lately. I guess I just am finally in acceptance. It makes a lot of difference if I let go of all the things that prevent from finding serenity. I have noticed how much of the promises have come true this last month especiall...

Rose50 · Rose50

Yesterday was a tough day for me and I spent most of it praying for guidance and help for my son. Late this morning he called me to tell me that he had good news - his unemployment was finally approved and he received a call about a job he applied for. Then he told me something he thought was strange - yesterd...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today, I go to work and the gal at the front desk whom I had to literally "melt down" w/kindness to a witch....well today, I go in and shes LEAVING......gave her notice on Wed...and Sat. is her last day....not even a week.... well I wish her good luck and tell her I hope it works out and I really d...

oldergal · oldergal

Pick up your tools, read your Al-Anon literature, follow the Steps you have learned, get a sponsor. You have choices, you don't have to be sad and crying, ask for help today. Don't wonder if you are doing the right thing, you are.....Al-Anon is tried and true. Ask yourself what is the alternative? Yike...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am horribly embarrassed, made a huge mistake. I have NO excuse and accept any hard feelings. ugh This grieving has made me insane. It had to stop. Not sure what made HP bring this but boy did I learn from it. You guys were WONDERFUL. I learned as usual from you all.It all still fits as the guy has really goo...

DavidG · DavidG

This proves that Alanon can be anywhere... even in New Zealand. The old public hall in Mataura. He is a humble man. In the afternoon session he talked about official Alanon Stuff. In the evening he appeared as Ric B. and gave us his ESH on the steps. All congratulations to the members who arranged this v...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

After my dog's rabbit-massacre 2 weeks ago I really didn't know what to say to the neighbours. So, feeling like a coward I sent them some (overly expensive) flowers and a note to say sorry, and I kept my dog inside while the other dogs were out playing and avoided walking him past their house. And all the w...

Bettina · Bettina

Tonite's the Harvest Moon....trivia fact that a lot of people will binge drink on the nite of the full moon... Observe.....

New_Day · New_Day

First off, it's "AngieP" had to delete my account and lay low a bit.. Got google and found on here posting about "planning to break off contact." I did end the relationship tonight as promised to myself as a bday gift (a lil early) and wow was it a firework show, I've been feeling s...

hotrod · hotrod

We are beginning the Steps once again on the Step Work BoardStep 1 and the associated questions have been posted to the Board. Please join us and share your Experience, Strength and Hopehttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55025047/alanon-step-1/

faith84 · faith84

Ok, So I keep going up and down, back and forth between acceptance and pure fury over my situation with my A. Some days I think, OK, I can do this, I can't change him or control him, just let him do his thing and I will do mine. And then a moment later I am back to giving him a lecture on how much he has hurt me, and t...

faith84 · faith84

Last Friday I posted in regards to a few vows that I wanted to work on. It is amazing once you FINALLY reach the point of understanding that you really are powerless to their addiction, and that the only thing that can be changed is ourselves and our attitudes. I have been attempting to get to this poin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm not sure how it happened. I visited my coworker at her cubicle today because she's the only left of her team after downsizing. She sits in a big room of empty offices and empty cubicles on the other side of our building alone. She isn't going to leave until they tell her to go and that kinda makes sen...

Pushka · Pushka

Something that has come up in my therapy is the whole I'm a victim mentality Vs being victimized and choosing to take a different route. When I first came to Alanon I definitely felt other people did things to me and looking back I can now see how much power I used to give away on a daily basis. I was able to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Everyone on here has something to add. I appreciate all of you that comment on my posts. I try to put my two cents in every once in a while. I feel compelled to say something even if it is just a short diddy of some kind. I am just being honest & try to be comical once in a while because life can get too seriou...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My new avatar is just for me and a reminder about open perceptions and how the program works in so many many ways. That little Mo`o or lizard is a Madagascar which have become way to numerous in a short period of time on the east shore of Hawaii island and my village of Hilo. My office is a garden and I tend...

Rose50 · Rose50

If alcoholism is categorized as a disease, then why do we say to fully detach from the alcoholic? One wouldn't abandon a family member that had cancer or diabetes. As an example - my son has a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and depression. Both of his sisters have fully detached and feel I should do the s...

tortuga · tortuga

yesterday i had a minor panic attack due to loneliness that came over me. I have gotten better though, thanks to lessons learned due to meditation. i now know the feeling and the confidence in the fact that storms do pass. It is hard to sit and wait though. But i am learning to trust. So i went out for a walk i...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family <3 Sorry its been so Long! I have been Sitting Here Pondering yet another Life Gone to Addictions... Yet Trying to Grasp the Ridicule, and Harsh Slur's from the Judgements in his Death! Tho I Grew up with this Man and Haven't Seen him in Prob. 15yrs, I Still Remember the Man he WAS! But...

deacon · deacon

I wonder if you will ever know what a wonderful thing you are doing in sharing your lives. I know that you come here for caring, compassion, an understanding ear and heart, a thumbs up when you are excited or feel you are moving along and a reminder that we all fail and make mistakes and it is a form of growth...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Should we all be so fortunate to experience a moment like this. AH is very aware of his addiction. He had reached out last Friday to another recovering member who picked him up (AH was half blitzed already) to go to a meeting. He has continued to drink daily since that meeting. He knows how I feel about his...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everybody, My name is Raven and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to my Alcoholic/Addict Boyfriend. I live in fear and denial of his and my problems. I started thinking that I didn't need 12 steps, because I wasn't the one with the problem. When ABF stopped drinking earlier this year I thought maybe &qu...

Pushka · Pushka

Omgosh .. thank you all sooo much!! One hurdle down and there are probably 5 more to go so this is not the end to say the least and I'm sure that the money stuff is going to be what pushes and pulls him over the edge at this point. I am completely shocked and completely in awe .. now .. why couldn't the...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Tonight one of my alanon groups is celebrating its anniversary. I've never been to an anniversary meeting before, but am really looking forward to it. The timing is perfect too, because it is almost exactly one year since I walked through the doors to my first meeting. My attitude and ways of dealing w...

tortuga · tortuga

So I went back to step 4 again, and found out more interesting things about where my values get hurt. and one thing that I noticed now, that I never noticed before, going back to my lists I wrote down months ago, is that down on the root of my own Self, there is a huge part of loneliness. which I have difficult...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have not been able to stop him from being in my head/heart. Sorta in a weird stale nothingness. It was strange as I could not really not ask HP to please help me. I asked if it was his will to help me feel better. I was afraid of what/how his help would be. Be careful what you ask for. I prayed day before yester...

Rose50 · Rose50

My son was released from the hospital yesterday and I met up with him in the afternoon. He is so depressed....broke, jobless, difficult living situation. I bought him lunch; spent some time with him and when we parted ways he started to cry. It broke my heart. He had confided in me that he had been thinki...

islandtime · islandtime

Ok, I'm just figuring this all out.....When you all are talking about using your tools, are you meaning using what you learned, by working the steps???? Is there a book or something with specific things to do in different situations?? I need a sponsor to point me in the right direction for sure.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

This is true I have to keep going forward to my journey to be free healthy and happy . I love Alaon no one exspect nothing from me just pray for me to change and get better. I also belong to a new family of domestic abuse . They welcomed me to there board with acceptance and there's so many ppl on there that are c...

Pushka · Pushka

Everything that is coming to a head at the moment and I've experienced some anxiety and loss of serenity for the most part I've been able to hang on to serenity part of the deal through the storm. Mediation is today and my part is completely done. I am really trying to let go of the outcome and it's not eas...

karma13 · karma13

Greetings I'm going to cross post this in the other forum I'm on so if you see this twice, ignore. Ok I was reading a article about parental enabling..and wondering if those with children, teens or stepchildren might give me some esh? I'm realizing I may be enabling this boy with a few of his behaviors. I...

faith84 · faith84

I stole this from an NA website, although it was written by an addict/alcoholic, for an addict/alcoholic, I thought It was extremely powerful for both the addict/alcoholic AND their loved one. It puts into perspective that we, as the loving family members who are on a consistent and trying journe...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My birthday is coming up, and after YEARS of not doing anything to celebrate it except to stay at home with my AH (if he is in town) and my children, this year I really, really wanted to go out and do something. I still don't know a lot of people or have a large group of friends here, but I reached out to my smal...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I have to say thank you to my husband for all the bad things he did all the harm and that last button he pushed made me hit the bottom of that his job was done to bring me there. We all have a purpose in life and I guess we change by the poor choices and the suffering that goes with it. He sober today his higher powe...

Bettina · Bettina

" Have you ever noticed that great moments of courage & Wisdom come in response to a great problem. Adversity gives us an opportunity to bring out our best." unk

pinkchip · pinkchip

I was reading other posts - not judging but feeling bad and wondering what is the point of staying with someone that treats you like crap? Of course then I had to remember, which I often do, that I have a long history of staying in crappy relationships and that continued all the way up until working the 12 s...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Ugh, A has switched addictions again and I must get my head together and control my anger and dissapointment and keep the focus on myself! When I met him, he was an out of control drunk who would make booty-calls at 3am every night; and, being a newly-single and awfully codependant mum I was just lonely e...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My son will be celebrating his 38th birthday tomorrow. He is two years shy of 40. Mid-life for many of us. He has had severe allergies, breathing problems, was hit by three different vehicles in his teens - a van, a City bus, and finally a truck that sent him flying 30 feet in the air and coming back to t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, Feeling good today. The disease has raised its head in my extended family my Cousin 27 is in a really bad place due to drink and drugs trying to take his life etc. His dad was visiting my parents he is 65 and my mum shared how my partner had been sober for a year and about me attending al anon. he said h...

oldergal · oldergal

This indeed is a great Board, and it is really a "board". Problems are presented here, they are looked at, brain stormed, analyzed and given the best ESH we have to give. We care and support all. Prayers are always in order. I think I would be lost without the great people here, and still in pai...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning everyone I want to say thank you for your continued support. My hand was held and I could let go let God. I didn't help, I didn't enable. My son did call and I just asked him to call his sponsor, reunite and move forward. I love you son. What the future holds for him I do not know. Your suppor...

amills4294 · amills4294

I've been very remiss in not participating in this board for a long time. I should be going to meetings again but have always found reasons not to lately. For those of you I've "chatted with" - sorry for being gone... for those that I have not met yet welcome and thanks for taking the time to r...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Great Intimacy Meeting today (Preview) Thought I would share a cool meeting idea with my recovery pals: Today I went to a great special 3 hr. workshop Al-anon meeting on intimacy. It had so many well thought through ideas and a panel of people with very differing intimacy situations just answering questions out of their own experience--...	luv123	3	542	Sep 23, 2013 by Mari1978
	Even Gandhi! (Preview) "It is wrong and immoral for a nation to supply intoxicating liquor to those who are addicted to drink ". Gandhi (10/2/1869-1/30/48) -- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 21st of September 2013 09:02:04 PM -- Edited by Bettina on Sunday 22nd of September 2013 12:34:55 AM	Bettina	32	607	Sep 23, 2013 by PP
	It's only words. (Preview) One thing that's been hitting the "hurt" button with me is reading posts from people talking about their A as their "best friend" who has been "lost" to them. 'Cause my A used to be my best friend too, but I don't think about that anymore. It's been so long since there wa...	Melly1248	6	499	Sep 23, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Too busy for anything else! (Preview) I have noticed my program tools slipping with me basically living at school now and working the weekends. I have had to let house work go and am not able to make it to my Tuesday evening meetings or find time to do much else except school work. I am doing good in school, but they said this program was intense...	Breakingfree	5	591	Sep 23, 2013 by hotrod
	I feel like I am disappointing my higher power. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I have mentioned in the past that I decided to foster a cat so that I could give pet ownership a try and give me some company. They offered me a cat that had been poisoned by his previous owner and he started experiencing seizures. I br...	slogan_jim	11	493	Sep 23, 2013 by Debilyn
	Isolating begin today (Preview) Hi I'm not in my head or in my body I don't no where I am . My home is now a house of secrets the doors are closed and whispering begins . I have broke down my walls and busted my bubble I am open to all around me to gain access to . I'm scared my confusion has taking over me. I pray that my break down does not have my hu...	Ms co-dependent	8	510	Sep 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Time for some internal housekeeping. Scary. (Preview) Hi everyone i have posted here a couple of times and find myself frequently seeking comfort and learning on these pages. So here I am again, and that can only mean there's been yet another drama with the ABH. Promises, promises. All broken. I kicked him out of the house a month ago after his abuse went b...	Sun sun	14	603	Sep 23, 2013 by Sun sun
	H.A.L.T. prevention (Preview) I am currently understanding 'taking care of ME' by observing very strictly anti-HALT Hungry- I find pleasure in cooking and selecting healthy food--- my body seems to absorb this thankfully, I feel energetic and enjoy the cooking process...gives me creative ME time Angry- I'm tired to be angr...	tortuga	4	357	Sep 23, 2013 by Peggy7
	HP has given me a sense of humor (Preview) Hi MIP Family. Here is a small laugh for the day. My partner and I went to Jones Beach today to walk the beach, have lunch and feed the seagulls We purchased a .99 cent package of hot dogs from the Supermarket for the gulls and went to Subways and purchased a $5,00 Foot Long to share. We arrived at the b...	hotrod	8	414	Sep 22, 2013 by tiredtonite
	I am new here (Preview) So my significant other was dry for a year with the help of antibuse (which he understood would make him violently ill) he made the decision to go off the meds and try drinking socially again. We have had so much go wrong in our year and a half relationship, a house shooting, a major flood, custody battle...	Christine	8	505	Sep 22, 2013 by Christine
	Don't have to be perfect, right? (Preview) So yesterday and today I have experienced minor setbacks with my A. I'm not yelling at myself because I know I am making progress overall. But the setbacks did take me by surprise. Yesterday maybe we didn't communicate well. When I thought she would be coming home was not when she came home. She sa...	Lyne	5	447	Sep 22, 2013 by bud
	I notice that I am "infected" by ALANON.... (Preview) Today, Saturday was the last day that the gal at the front desk worked.... We have quite a history...She came to work a year after I...At first it was "ok" then one day we were facebooking , chatting and she is AT WORK...doing this on company times...I was at home...I realized this and told h...	neshema2	3	404	Sep 22, 2013 by hotrod
	For the snoopers :) (Preview) I'm a huge offender in that area ESPECIALLY when I started making a conscious decision about getting a divorce .. I got my hands on every single piece of paperwork I could get and started filing everything down. In my mind THAT is not snooping that is being proactive and thank goodness I was because he h...	Pushka	6	503	Sep 22, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	Progress (Preview) Maybe my thinking is off on this, but I find myself no longer caring if working my program makes a difference for somebody else? Although I do want to carry the message, the results of that carrying of it simply doesn't interest me as much as it once did. What's more important to me is whether or not work...	grateful2be	6	492	Sep 22, 2013 by grateful2be
	saw myself (Preview) A new member came to my F2F meeting and I saw myself-scared, not knowing what to expect, not knowing the prayer we say together or the format. I felt relief and gratitude after my first meeting and I hope she did too. A few of us spoke to her afterwards (myself included) and a man gave her the newcomer pa...	Lyne	8	457	Sep 21, 2013 by PP
	Happy Birthday Jerry F (Preview) Enjoy!!	Peggy7	20	419	Sep 21, 2013 by el-cee
	Forgot I'm meant to wait on the shelf until I'm needed :-p (Preview) So, I took a deep breath, and adjusted my thinking as best I could. See, before I wrote that last post, I made a little plea to the A- just a little one- I said "I'm really struggling with the isolation and loneliness at the moment, do you think you could make an effort to be friendly and speak nicely to...	Melly1248	13	538	Sep 21, 2013 by el-cee
	Service... (Preview) "In order to keep it...you have to give it away"...My elder sponsor wedged that one into my head when he started to support my growth toward doing service for the program and others. It was cute to me then until I found out that it was really true. He also told me "If you really want to...	Jerry F	7	364	Sep 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	another promising day! (Preview) I can't believe how things are going in my life these days. I feel the most positive lately. I guess I just am finally in acceptance. It makes a lot of difference if I let go of all the things that prevent from finding serenity. I have noticed how much of the promises have come true this last month especiall...	Hoot Nanny	3	296	Sep 21, 2013 by cwya
	HP at work (Preview) Yesterday was a tough day for me and I spent most of it praying for guidance and help for my son. Late this morning he called me to tell me that he had good news - his unemployment was finally approved and he received a call about a job he applied for. Then he told me something he thought was strange - yesterd...	Rose50	8	417	Sep 21, 2013 by neshema2
	I just seem to draw them too me.... (Preview) Today, I go to work and the gal at the front desk whom I had to literally "melt down" w/kindness to a witch....well today, I go in and shes LEAVING......gave her notice on Wed...and Sat. is her last day....not even a week.... well I wish her good luck and tell her I hope it works out and I really d...	neshema2	14	552	Sep 21, 2013 by neshema2
	MISERY IS A CHOICE (Preview) Pick up your tools, read your Al-Anon literature, follow the Steps you have learned, get a sponsor. You have choices, you don't have to be sad and crying, ask for help today. Don't wonder if you are doing the right thing, you are.....Al-Anon is tried and true. Ask yourself what is the alternative? Yike...	oldergal	8	759	Sep 21, 2013 by maryjane
	Please forgive me I blew it BIG Time!!!! (Preview) I am horribly embarrassed, made a huge mistake. I have NO excuse and accept any hard feelings. ugh This grieving has made me insane. It had to stop. Not sure what made HP bring this but boy did I learn from it. You guys were WONDERFUL. I learned as usual from you all.It all still fits as the guy has really goo...	Debilyn	6	626	Sep 21, 2013 by Debilyn
	Visit by Ric B. to our neck of the woods... (Preview) This proves that Alanon can be anywhere... even in New Zealand. The old public hall in Mataura. He is a humble man. In the afternoon session he talked about official Alanon Stuff. In the evening he appeared as Ric B. and gave us his ESH on the steps. All congratulations to the members who arranged this v...	DavidG	2	344	Sep 21, 2013 by hotrod
	OMG did you know other people can do stuff too? (Preview) After my dog's rabbit-massacre 2 weeks ago I really didn't know what to say to the neighbours. So, feeling like a coward I sent them some (overly expensive) flowers and a note to say sorry, and I kept my dog inside while the other dogs were out playing and avoided walking him past their house. And all the w...	Melly1248	8	466	Sep 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Moon trivia! (Preview) Tonite's the Harvest Moon....trivia fact that a lot of people will binge drink on the nite of the full moon... Observe.....	Bettina	3	371	Sep 20, 2013 by neshema2
	Feels so bad.. But I did the right thing (Preview) First off, it's "AngieP" had to delete my account and lay low a bit.. Got google and found on here posting about "planning to break off contact." I did end the relationship tonight as promised to myself as a bday gift (a lil early) and wow was it a firework show, I've been feeling s...	New_Day	10	390	Sep 20, 2013 by pinkchip
	Step One (Preview) We are beginning the Steps once again on the Step Work BoardStep 1 and the associated questions have been posted to the Board. Please join us and share your Experience, Strength and Hopehttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55025047/alanon-step-1/	hotrod	0	383	Sep 20, 2013 by hotrod
	How do I keep my mouth shut?! (Preview) Ok, So I keep going up and down, back and forth between acceptance and pure fury over my situation with my A. Some days I think, OK, I can do this, I can't change him or control him, just let him do his thing and I will do mine. And then a moment later I am back to giving him a lecture on how much he has hurt me, and t...	faith84	12	757	Sep 20, 2013 by faith84
	Powerless (Preview) Last Friday I posted in regards to a few vows that I wanted to work on. It is amazing once you FINALLY reach the point of understanding that you really are powerless to their addiction, and that the only thing that can be changed is ourselves and our attitudes. I have been attempting to get to this poin...	faith84	4	389	Sep 20, 2013 by faith84
	What was I thinking.... I wasn't thinking! (Preview) I'm not sure how it happened. I visited my coworker at her cubicle today because she's the only left of her team after downsizing. She sits in a big room of empty offices and empty cubicles on the other side of our building alone. She isn't going to leave until they tell her to go and that kinda makes sen...	tiredtonite	11	478	Sep 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Victim Vs Being Victimized (Preview) Something that has come up in my therapy is the whole I'm a victim mentality Vs being victimized and choosing to take a different route. When I first came to Alanon I definitely felt other people did things to me and looking back I can now see how much power I used to give away on a daily basis. I was able to...	Pushka	6	1186	Sep 20, 2013 by Jerry F
	I agree about all the posters(not the carboard kind) (Preview) Everyone on here has something to add. I appreciate all of you that comment on my posts. I try to put my two cents in every once in a while. I feel compelled to say something even if it is just a short diddy of some kind. I am just being honest & try to be comical once in a while because life can get too seriou...	Hoot Nanny	1	339	Sep 20, 2013 by Jerry F
	Mo`o metaphor... (Preview) My new avatar is just for me and a reminder about open perceptions and how the program works in so many many ways. That little Mo`o or lizard is a Madagascar which have become way to numerous in a short period of time on the east shore of Hawaii island and my village of Hilo. My office is a garden and I tend...	Jerry F	10	609	Sep 20, 2013 by bud
	If alcoholism is a disease... (Preview) If alcoholism is categorized as a disease, then why do we say to fully detach from the alcoholic? One wouldn't abandon a family member that had cancer or diabetes. As an example - my son has a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and depression. Both of his sisters have fully detached and feel I should do the s...	Rose50	10	630	Sep 20, 2013 by Mimi3
	new ways, maybe into change! (Preview) yesterday i had a minor panic attack due to loneliness that came over me. I have gotten better though, thanks to lessons learned due to meditation. i now know the feeling and the confidence in the fact that storms do pass. It is hard to sit and wait though. But i am learning to trust. So i went out for a walk i...	tortuga	4	355	Sep 19, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Mean Spirits & How to Deal..... (Preview) Hello MIP Family <3 Sorry its been so Long! I have been Sitting Here Pondering yet another Life Gone to Addictions... Yet Trying to Grasp the Ridicule, and Harsh Slur's from the Judgements in his Death! Tho I Grew up with this Man and Haven't Seen him in Prob. 15yrs, I Still Remember the Man he WAS! But...	Jozie	6	616	Sep 19, 2013 by afglin
	A thanks for those who post here regularly (Preview) I wonder if you will ever know what a wonderful thing you are doing in sharing your lives. I know that you come here for caring, compassion, an understanding ear and heart, a thumbs up when you are excited or feel you are moving along and a reminder that we all fail and make mistakes and it is a form of growth...	deacon	7	454	Sep 19, 2013 by Mari1978
	A moment of gratefulness (Preview) Should we all be so fortunate to experience a moment like this. AH is very aware of his addiction. He had reached out last Friday to another recovering member who picked him up (AH was half blitzed already) to go to a meeting. He has continued to drink daily since that meeting. He knows how I feel about his...	Mari1978	5	287	Sep 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Addicted to an Addict (Preview) Hello everybody, My name is Raven and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to my Alcoholic/Addict Boyfriend. I live in fear and denial of his and my problems. I started thinking that I didn't need 12 steps, because I wasn't the one with the problem. When ABF stopped drinking earlier this year I thought maybe &qu...	Raven Juniper	10	507	Sep 19, 2013 by Indeed
	THANK YOU!!!! :) (Preview) Omgosh .. thank you all sooo much!! One hurdle down and there are probably 5 more to go so this is not the end to say the least and I'm sure that the money stuff is going to be what pushes and pulls him over the edge at this point. I am completely shocked and completely in awe .. now .. why couldn't the...	Pushka	8	419	Sep 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	An Anniversary (Preview) Tonight one of my alanon groups is celebrating its anniversary. I've never been to an anniversary meeting before, but am really looking forward to it. The timing is perfect too, because it is almost exactly one year since I walked through the doors to my first meeting. My attitude and ways of dealing w...	ParisMemories	6	349	Sep 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	loneliness-a constant co-dep companion??! (Preview) So I went back to step 4 again, and found out more interesting things about where my values get hurt. and one thing that I noticed now, that I never noticed before, going back to my lists I wrote down months ago, is that down on the root of my own Self, there is a huge part of loneliness. which I have difficult...	tortuga	3	2818	Sep 19, 2013 by tortuga
	Have finally hit bottom/desperate for thoughts (Preview) Have not been able to stop him from being in my head/heart. Sorta in a weird stale nothingness. It was strange as I could not really not ask HP to please help me. I asked if it was his will to help me feel better. I was afraid of what/how his help would be. Be careful what you ask for. I prayed day before yester...	Debilyn	16	701	Sep 19, 2013 by pinkchip
	Don't know how much more I can take (Preview) My son was released from the hospital yesterday and I met up with him in the afternoon. He is so depressed....broke, jobless, difficult living situation. I bought him lunch; spent some time with him and when we parted ways he started to cry. It broke my heart. He had confided in me that he had been thinki...	Rose50	9	464	Sep 18, 2013 by bud
	using the tools???? I'm confused (Preview) Ok, I'm just figuring this all out.....When you all are talking about using your tools, are you meaning using what you learned, by working the steps???? Is there a book or something with specific things to do in different situations?? I need a sponsor to point me in the right direction for sure.	islandtime	7	826	Sep 18, 2013 by neshema2
	Blessed with 2 new family's Alaon & (Preview) This is true I have to keep going forward to my journey to be free healthy and happy . I love Alaon no one exspect nothing from me just pray for me to change and get better. I also belong to a new family of domestic abuse . They welcomed me to there board with acceptance and there's so many ppl on there that are c...	Ms co-dependent	3	432	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Many light bulb moments :) (Preview) Everything that is coming to a head at the moment and I've experienced some anxiety and loss of serenity for the most part I've been able to hang on to serenity part of the deal through the storm. Mediation is today and my part is completely done. I am really trying to let go of the outcome and it's not eas...	Pushka	3	377	Sep 18, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Need some esh~ teenager situation (Preview) Greetings I'm going to cross post this in the other forum I'm on so if you see this twice, ignore. Ok I was reading a article about parental enabling..and wondering if those with children, teens or stepchildren might give me some esh? I'm realizing I may be enabling this boy with a few of his behaviors. I...	karma13	21	549	Sep 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Addict in a Hole (Preview) I stole this from an NA website, although it was written by an addict/alcoholic, for an addict/alcoholic, I thought It was extremely powerful for both the addict/alcoholic AND their loved one. It puts into perspective that we, as the loving family members who are on a consistent and trying journe...	faith84	3	610	Sep 18, 2013 by tortuga
	Oooo, I've run up against a codependency trigger... (Preview) My birthday is coming up, and after YEARS of not doing anything to celebrate it except to stay at home with my AH (if he is in town) and my children, this year I really, really wanted to go out and do something. I still don't know a lot of people or have a large group of friends here, but I reached out to my smal...	stephaniej	5	340	Sep 18, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Hitting rock bottom is good (Preview) I have to say thank you to my husband for all the bad things he did all the harm and that last button he pushed made me hit the bottom of that his job was done to bring me there. We all have a purpose in life and I guess we change by the poor choices and the suffering that goes with it. He sober today his higher powe...	Ms co-dependent	9	564	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Adversity is an Opportunity (Preview) " Have you ever noticed that great moments of courage & Wisdom come in response to a great problem. Adversity gives us an opportunity to bring out our best." unk	Bettina	2	233	Sep 18, 2013 by PP
	Why did I stay with someone that treated me like crap? (Preview) I was reading other posts - not judging but feeling bad and wondering what is the point of staying with someone that treats you like crap? Of course then I had to remember, which I often do, that I have a long history of staying in crappy relationships and that continued all the way up until working the 12 s...	pinkchip	25	832	Sep 18, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	A long rant that contains the word "HE" a lot. (Preview) Ugh, A has switched addictions again and I must get my head together and control my anger and dissapointment and keep the focus on myself! When I met him, he was an out of control drunk who would make booty-calls at 3am every night; and, being a newly-single and awfully codependant mum I was just lonely e...	Melly1248	9	607	Sep 18, 2013 by hisimage
	My son and my vain imaginings (Preview) My son will be celebrating his 38th birthday tomorrow. He is two years shy of 40. Mid-life for many of us. He has had severe allergies, breathing problems, was hit by three different vehicles in his teens - a van, a City bus, and finally a truck that sent him flying 30 feet in the air and coming back to t...	grateful2be	13	3278	Sep 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	healthy support (Preview) Hi All, Feeling good today. The disease has raised its head in my extended family my Cousin 27 is in a really bad place due to drink and drugs trying to take his life etc. His dad was visiting my parents he is 65 and my mum shared how my partner had been sober for a year and about me attending al anon. he said h...	Tracy	3	211	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	THE BOARD (Preview) This indeed is a great Board, and it is really a "board". Problems are presented here, they are looked at, brain stormed, analyzed and given the best ESH we have to give. We care and support all. Prayers are always in order. I think I would be lost without the great people here, and still in pai...	oldergal	7	395	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	My HP was with me and so was MIP (Preview) Good Morning everyone I want to say thank you for your continued support. My hand was held and I could let go let God. I didn't help, I didn't enable. My son did call and I just asked him to call his sponsor, reunite and move forward. I love you son. What the future holds for him I do not know. Your suppor...	Cathyinaz	12	695	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Alcoholic Mom admitted to hospital (Preview) I've been very remiss in not participating in this board for a long time. I should be going to meetings again but have always found reasons not to lately. For those of you I've "chatted with" - sorry for being gone... for those that I have not met yet welcome and thanks for taking the time to r...	amills4294	7	420	Sep 18, 2013 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.