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A moment of gratefulness
(Preview)
Should we all be so fortunate to experience a moment like this. AH is very aware of his addiction. He had reached out last Friday to another recovering member who picked him up (AH was half blitzed already) to go to a meeting. He has continued to drink daily since that meeting. He knows how I feel about his...
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Mari1978
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5
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245
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Addicted to an Addict
(Preview)
Hello everybody, My name is Raven and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to my Alcoholic/Addict Boyfriend. I live in fear and denial of his and my problems. I started thinking that I didn't need 12 steps, because I wasn't the one with the problem. When ABF stopped drinking earlier this year I thought maybe &qu...
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Raven Juniper
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10
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469
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THANK YOU!!!! :)
(Preview)
Omgosh .. thank you all sooo much!! One hurdle down and there are probably 5 more to go so this is not the end to say the least and I'm sure that the money stuff is going to be what pushes and pulls him over the edge at this point. I am completely shocked and completely in awe .. now .. why couldn't the...
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Pushka
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8
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379
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An Anniversary
(Preview)
Tonight one of my alanon groups is celebrating its anniversary. I've never been to an anniversary meeting before, but am really looking forward to it. The timing is perfect too, because it is almost exactly one year since I walked through the doors to my first meeting. My attitude and ways of dealing w...
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ParisMemories
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6
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309
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loneliness-a constant co-dep companion??!
(Preview)
So I went back to step 4 again, and found out more interesting things about where my values get hurt. and one thing that I noticed now, that I never noticed before, going back to my lists I wrote down months ago, is that down on the root of my own Self, there is a huge part of loneliness. which I have difficult...
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tortuga
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3
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2506
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Have finally hit bottom/desperate for thoughts
(Preview)
Have not been able to stop him from being in my head/heart. Sorta in a weird stale nothingness. It was strange as I could not really not ask HP to please help me. I asked if it was his will to help me feel better. I was afraid of what/how his help would be. Be careful what you ask for. I prayed day before yester...
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Debilyn
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16
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655
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Don't know how much more I can take
(Preview)
My son was released from the hospital yesterday and I met up with him in the afternoon. He is so depressed....broke, jobless, difficult living situation. I bought him lunch; spent some time with him and when we parted ways he started to cry. It broke my heart. He had confided in me that he had been thinki...
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Rose50
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9
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422
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using the tools???? I'm confused
(Preview)
Ok, I'm just figuring this all out.....When you all are talking about using your tools, are you meaning using what you learned, by working the steps???? Is there a book or something with specific things to do in different situations?? I need a sponsor to point me in the right direction for sure.
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islandtime
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7
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770
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Blessed with 2 new family's Alaon &
(Preview)
This is true I have to keep going forward to my journey to be free healthy and happy . I love Alaon no one exspect nothing from me just pray for me to change and get better. I also belong to a new family of domestic abuse . They welcomed me to there board with acceptance and there's so many ppl on there that are c...
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Ms co-dependent
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3
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388
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Many light bulb moments :)
(Preview)
Everything that is coming to a head at the moment and I've experienced some anxiety and loss of serenity for the most part I've been able to hang on to serenity part of the deal through the storm. Mediation is today and my part is completely done. I am really trying to let go of the outcome and it's not eas...
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Pushka
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3
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337
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Need some esh~ teenager situation
(Preview)
Greetings I'm going to cross post this in the other forum I'm on so if you see this twice, ignore. Ok I was reading a article about parental enabling..and wondering if those with children, teens or stepchildren might give me some esh? I'm realizing I may be enabling this boy with a few of his behaviors. I...
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karma13
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21
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503
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Addict in a Hole
(Preview)
I stole this from an NA website, although it was written by an addict/alcoholic, for an addict/alcoholic, I thought It was extremely powerful for both the addict/alcoholic AND their loved one. It puts into perspective that we, as the loving family members who are on a consistent and trying journe...
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faith84
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3
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558
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Oooo, I've run up against a codependency trigger...
(Preview)
My birthday is coming up, and after YEARS of not doing anything to celebrate it except to stay at home with my AH (if he is in town) and my children, this year I really, really wanted to go out and do something. I still don't know a lot of people or have a large group of friends here, but I reached out to my smal...
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stephaniej
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5
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301
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Hitting rock bottom is good
(Preview)
I have to say thank you to my husband for all the bad things he did all the harm and that last button he pushed made me hit the bottom of that his job was done to bring me there. We all have a purpose in life and I guess we change by the poor choices and the suffering that goes with it. He sober today his higher powe...
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Ms co-dependent
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9
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518
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Adversity is an Opportunity
(Preview)
" Have you ever noticed that great moments of courage & Wisdom come in response to a great problem. Adversity gives us an opportunity to bring out our best." unk
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Bettina
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2
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193
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Why did I stay with someone that treated me like crap?
(Preview)
I was reading other posts - not judging but feeling bad and wondering what is the point of staying with someone that treats you like crap? Of course then I had to remember, which I often do, that I have a long history of staying in crappy relationships and that continued all the way up until working the 12 s...
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pinkchip
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25
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786
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A long rant that contains the word "HE" a lot.
(Preview)
Ugh, A has switched addictions again and I must get my head together and control my anger and dissapointment and keep the focus on myself! When I met him, he was an out of control drunk who would make booty-calls at 3am every night; and, being a newly-single and awfully codependant mum I was just lonely e...
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Melly1248
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9
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535
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My son and my vain imaginings
(Preview)
My son will be celebrating his 38th birthday tomorrow. He is two years shy of 40. Mid-life for many of us. He has had severe allergies, breathing problems, was hit by three different vehicles in his teens - a van, a City bus, and finally a truck that sent him flying 30 feet in the air and coming back to t...
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grateful2be
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13
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2810
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healthy support
(Preview)
Hi All, Feeling good today. The disease has raised its head in my extended family my Cousin 27 is in a really bad place due to drink and drugs trying to take his life etc. His dad was visiting my parents he is 65 and my mum shared how my partner had been sober for a year and about me attending al anon. he said h...
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Tracy
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3
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163
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THE BOARD
(Preview)
This indeed is a great Board, and it is really a "board". Problems are presented here, they are looked at, brain stormed, analyzed and given the best ESH we have to give. We care and support all. Prayers are always in order. I think I would be lost without the great people here, and still in pai...
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oldergal
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7
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352
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My HP was with me and so was MIP
(Preview)
Good Morning everyone I want to say thank you for your continued support. My hand was held and I could let go let God. I didn't help, I didn't enable. My son did call and I just asked him to call his sponsor, reunite and move forward. I love you son. What the future holds for him I do not know. Your suppor...
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Cathyinaz
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12
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654
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Alcoholic Mom admitted to hospital
(Preview)
I've been very remiss in not participating in this board for a long time. I should be going to meetings again but have always found reasons not to lately. For those of you I've "chatted with" - sorry for being gone... for those that I have not met yet welcome and thanks for taking the time to r...
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amills4294
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7
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375
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Is my husband (becoming) an alcoholic? (Very long.)
(Preview)
I apologize in advance. I am EXTREMELY long winded, especially when I'm trying to paint an entire picture. This is everything that contributes to my fear that my husband is an alcoholic or at least is heading in that direction. Do you think he has or is developing a problem, or am I just scared becaus...
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AngryAndScared
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6
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487
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one for tomorrow
(Preview)
I am posting this for tomorrow--some of you are already there! I am doing this because on Weds. I can't get on here. I am unable to post on my tablet at this time & I am not complaining. I am just sending a special Hello to all of you in the future. Isn't that crazy? I guess if tomorrow never comes for me, I w...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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180
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What should I do?
(Preview)
My brother is currently gone 5 days drinking straight, hasn't gone to work, hasn't eaten, hasn't showered, is not answering his kids calls......he is holed up in his house...just drinking...this will be the 5th time he has done this....and lost alot, and regained alot...about to lose it all again....
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shanb1970
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19
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485
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Giving my adult self a reward for overcoming
(Preview)
We praise and reward our loved ones when they do good or have a breakthrough, so why not do that for me???? I had an U G L Y coda moment where I wrote this letter (deleted and NOT sent---thanks to the ESH'rs who brought me up short---thank you all) And I did not send the letter.........i typed it......hel...
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neshema2
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9
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325
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working through resentment towards gratitude: an odyssey!!!
(Preview)
it had to happen. since a couple of days I'm torn between resentment and anger and melancholy and gratitude. Gratitude is where I would like to end up with, to find my peace. But I feel like I have to climb Mt.Everest...with no oxygen. I'm still doubting if I can do it. for a long time I didn't allow myself...
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tortuga
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5
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272
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Can you be an addict and not an alcoholic?
(Preview)
Hope you all can clear this up for me. We live in a rural area and there is not an NA meeting around but there is AA and Al-anon. My daughter started going to AA to deal with her addiction to pain pills and has now been clean for 30 days. She has continued to drink alcohol and it does not seem to be a problem. ...
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Grits
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6
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420
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Walls vs boundaries in relationship to adult children in active stages of alcoholsim?
(Preview)
Does anybody out there have a consolidated list of examples showing the difference between boundaries and walls in relationship to adult children in active stages of alcoholism they can post for us parents? And anybody else who'd like the same info? Thanks, family.
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grateful2be
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14
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776
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Am I being reactionary? I want to put this on my fb status?
(Preview)
I am a free American last time I checked and entitled to my personal beliefs! Thanks for respecting my beliefs, just like I do yours whether I agree or not that is what makes us who we are and Thank God we are not all the same drone of a human being that can not have our own minds. I love each and every one of you m...
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Breakingfree
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24
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833
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I'm back, looking for perspective
(Preview)
The reason I felt I had to take a break from the boards for a bit was because I felt like I was always posting about 'him', the AH. I wasn't feeling healthy even though I was working my program. I think these boards became my venting place and I wanted to step away from that and gain some perspective and jus...
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ilovedogs
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24
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604
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A great visit with my son :)
(Preview)
This weekend I went it visit my son in Silver Spring Christian Base Rehab. I got there in good spirits and left in good spirits. He prayed for me and with me. He knows the addiction still effects me. I see my son again.. He tells me mom I know you have access to my money one thing I ask of you is to please find me a...
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Gaby
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6
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312
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The interventionist
(Preview)
By Joani Gammill...My wife just got me an early birthday present...two parts; one this book which I want to say if you have it or have read it or don't and haven't...the first 15 pages speak from inside of the addict and alcoholic. Of course she knows...she is a recovering addict; female, mom, RN, wi...
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Jerry F
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2
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223
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hurt & confused
(Preview)
I am really hurt & confused....I made my ex leave last year because of his drug problem. I was to the point of not knowing what to do anymore. I thought & prayed many nights about what I needed to do. So I finally decided that he should move out & maybe he would see just how serious I was. I had to s...
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troubledheart
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7
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388
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Perspective!
(Preview)
The Human Spirit is as expansive as the Cosmos. This is why its so tragic to belittle yourself or to question your worth. No matter what happens continue to push back the boundaries of your "Inner Life". Ikeda
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Bettina
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2
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145
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my experience with power of dreams
(Preview)
good morning MIP I wanted to share something which I have experienced much and paying attention to over the past 10 years. It is a way of getting to know yourself, learning to listen to your inner voice and trusting your 'gut' as some would name it. It all began over 10 years ago when I entered therapy and...
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tortuga
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4
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414
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edit/delete?
(Preview)
Anyone know why I can't edit or delete any of my posts? It just says "you don't have permission to do that" if I try to delete, and if I try to edit, it appears to have worked but then the post just reverts to how it was before when i refresh the page. Well, I'll try to edit this one since I just wrote i...
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Melly1248
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4
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250
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just a few minutes to reflect
(Preview)
My mom is now transferred to another hospital very close to returning home. I am glad that she is not going to come home too soon. I am nervous about her getting out. I guess because I had a dream about her coming home before I saw her yesterday, I feel a little apprehensive myself. Anyhow, I still feel pret...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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105
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Mothers
(Preview)
At 64, I've gotten to the place in life where I am no longer willing to take on our culture's expectations of me as a Mother. I don't have power over my adult children's choices. I don't have to take on their burdens, their problems, the consequences for their choices. I don't have to blame myself for t...
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grateful2be
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25
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592
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Book suggestions anyone??
(Preview)
I have Courage to Change Was looking at Amazon, thinking about the 12 Step Workbook...or Blueprint for Progress 4th step inventory ???? what books were helpful in working the steps?
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islandtime
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5
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314
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maybe he's just not worth it
(Preview)
In my case, I'm thinking maybe he's just not worth the effort. Yes I am and will continue to put major work into ME.....BUT I thinking putting any effort into staying together would be a waste of my energy. I think I rode this horse till it died, conuinued to sit on the dead carcus while the bizzards picked...
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islandtime
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7
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425
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OFF TOPIC...Thinking of sending this to abusive sister
(Preview)
I DID NOT SEND THIS>.....IT IS ON HOLD..>>>THINKING OF SENDING BUT HAVE NOT YET DONE SO>>>>>>>>>>NEED ESH PLEASE I will not reply back.... This is just some decisions for me and it matters not how you take it.......So if you write back, I won't reply...
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neshema2
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10
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268
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Opening my heart
(Preview)
It has been a while since I've been on here. I will have to update soon, but I was reading through different posts one in particular caught my attention, so I am going to share my story. Especially with anyone who may feel defeated. I have different mental health problems starting with borderline perso...
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Lay
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4
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255
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Enabling?
(Preview)
My father in law has called me the enabeler. This was many months ago when my AH was in detox for a week.( he was sober for 3 mnths after that) Tonight he was half bombed and decided to attend an AA meeting (not sure how to let my mind absorb that yet...waiting to see what tomorrow brings before I begin to get m...
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Mari1978
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11
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533
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Weekend :)
(Preview)
Kids are off on their social stuff for the weekend .. daughter is excited she has a homecoming dance coming up in Oct. An event apparently that is focused and obsessed upon by all teens now instead of more like a week before it happens .. ROFL. My boy is off having a field day with a friend of his. He got t...
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Pushka
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3
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280
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Everyone is crazy except for me!
(Preview)
What an eye-opening weekend so far. In ways I could not have anticipated! Excuse the long rambly story, but I made a decision, on my way home, that rather than come home and get upset with the A all night, I would sit down at my desk and write it out here instead. (I could have just journalled it but I guess I w...
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Melly1248
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7
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397
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My son
(Preview)
I got another call today from my son's landlord. He wants my son out. I asked him PLEASE call the police. My son was incoherent and could even stand. The landlord told him to drive to the park and sleep it off. I couldn't let my son drive so I called the Police. They were on their way when the landlord call...
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Cathyinaz
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18
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480
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I'm dong better today
(Preview)
Good afternoon friends Today I'm excepting the things I can not change and working to change me..one day at a time. My recovery time is much faster so now if I can control my emotions during height of the crisis I will do so much better keeping my heart and mind calm. My fear last night became so bad I got...
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Cathyinaz
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13
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474
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I honestly don't feel any rancor
(Preview)
Well alanoners, this morning, I felt kinda "BLEH!!!" and I was not going to let me wallow in that....so i picked my self up....threw on some shorts, tank top an out to the trampolene, I marched....music in the parlor blasting oldies out the sliding glass door and onto that trampolene......
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neshema2
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12
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759
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A bit of an epiphany
(Preview)
Just saw a cartoon...stick figure with MANY word balloons over his head... He was saying "Hello, My name is Mike, and I'm a thinkaholic..." Man, could I relate... RP
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rehprof
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6
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309
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dam defects .. Never saw this .. kinda funny but duh ..
(Preview)
love these epiphanys .. after the fact .. but .. for what it's worth .. I went to a meeting the other night and someone shared their A would look at them and say 'xxxx' liar .. It wasn't what she was saying but the look on her face that made her share a little on the lighter humorous side although there's noth...
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MeTwo2
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8
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456
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Estranged Family
(Preview)
I'm not sure where to begin with this. I've been trying to get my alcoholic brother to send my deceased mother's phone book to me but haven't had any luck. I finally gave up on that. I'm not on fb and don't want to be. I've made some attempts to find a few family and friends with whom there hasn't been any c...
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tiredtonite
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6
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434
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Feeling Overwhelmed
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I woke up this morning feeling very overwhelmed. I feel like I am tackling the world by myself. What triggered this was last night I was over at a friends house and they had just come back from a trip in the states. They kept showing of...
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slogan_jim
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14
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516
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On Trust and Infidelity
(Preview)
When your trust is betrayed and you become the wife whose A husband was untrue to you by internet porn and phone sex. How did you or do you learn to trust again. Does that innocent trust ever come back again. They say that the unforgiveness of someone is worse on you than the other person. If you have any exp...
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oldergal
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17
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643
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Digging In
(Preview)
For almost four years I cannot remember having a good weekend. Starting the same pattern tonight. However, this weekend I will not worry if A is drinking, will not obsess about where he is who he is with. I will not walk on eggshells afraid to piss him off naturally he is mad at me its a given. And you know wh...
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mm830
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16
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444
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Hit and Run and recovery
(Preview)
I was waiting at a stoplight this afternoon. I was rear-ended so hard my vehicle was pushed a few feet forward nearly missing traffic moving at 55 mph to 60 mph. the man who hit me - you guessed it - was high. Tried to convince me my vehicle was fine and to take off. I told him he'd have to stay. I was calli...
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grateful2be
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26
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597
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Acceptance and Willingness to Change
(Preview)
Sometimes the known is easier in my head than the unknown. Interesting how many posts I read here resonate and I don't feel so alone right now. That I am so thankful for this board it is changing my thinking in so many ways. But truthfully I am scared of the unknown and I know that has to do with letting HP tak...
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mm830
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8
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507
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Happy to go home, sad to go home...
(Preview)
I'm leaving a city in the Pacific Northwest and going back to my home city right now. I cried a bit when I checked out of the hotel (via the TV- I couldn't let the hotel people see me cry!).
I felt so safe in the hotel room all week. I was around 200 coworkers and felt very safe around them too... (Lonely at ti...
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goodmonkey
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8
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403
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Hawaii Jerry!!!!
(Preview)
Hawaii was voted the happiest state in the Union... Must be the Aloha spirit... Do you know that Hawaii has more diversity than any other state and they celebrate their different ethnicities. Imagine , most are mixes of Japanese, Hawaiian, Portugese, Dutch, you would be going to a parade everyday...
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Bettina
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16
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468
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Chronic pain and higher power
(Preview)
I have been experiencing abdominal pain for the last 6 weeks, and the doctors so far cannot find anything "wrong." Of course, the pain is still here but no matter what type of stress relief I employ the pain remains.Next is either a medication or for them to look inside my intestine with a ca...
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irukan
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17
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553
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