The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This weekend I went it visit my son in Silver Spring Christian Base Rehab. I got there in good spirits and left in good spirits. He prayed for me and with me. He knows the addiction still effects me. I see my son again.. He tells me mom I know you have access to my money one thing I ask of you is to please find me a place, because I know that I need to be on my own and this time I'll make it with the faith I have in god right by me. I said I can do that, but this time too you are all on your own. I asked him do you think maybe a SLE home would be better. He said I'm asking to let me be on my own and continue my recovery. SLE is an option but let it be my options. I don't know how to take this or how to think about it. Yes I know I can help. But I carry that fear of the "what if's".. Can any one put in there two cents please ?
Thank you HotRod.. I have spoken to his pastor on several occasions and he says to me: my son has the tools he is smart and has a clearer mind of what he wants in life especially for his daughter. He is a grown man not a little boy if he falls and fails again he know to come back if he makes it be proud there's no shame to sobriety and him making it as god intends. Also he said drugs are every where even in here and I have seen your son talk to other men and walk away from the temptation. So let your son buck up as a man.
Sounds great Gaby, your son has learned some tools and I am sure knows how to use them, and has met some new people and has support for his recovery. It sounds like he has asked you to find a place for him. But I would remind you in the Alanon program one of the golden rules is don't do for your loved one what he can and should do for himself. This is a new life for him let him make the moves and the actions, arrangements he needs to get himself set up with a place and a job. Love him, get out of God's way and let your son regain his dignity...OG
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Gaby: Not much more to add to the wisdom and guidance already shared with you here. Hope you hear it and heed it. Acting on it can make all the difference in the world for you. Trying to "help" my son after I saw that my "help" wasn't helping was an opportunity for me to take better care of myself and my life. What my adult son chose to do was on him. What I chose to do was on me. It wasn't easy to acknowledge that his responsibility for his thoughts, feelings, behaviors and consequences were his and not mine. Once I did, I had a lot more time and energy to do what I needed to do to take better care of me. I let HP take care of him.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 17th of September 2013 07:51:50 AM
I would go with what his treatment providers say. There is nothing you can do to stop a relapse. It's on him and his HP. Work on you and your worrying.
