The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hope you all can clear this up for me. We live in a rural area and there is not an NA meeting around but there is AA and Al-anon. My daughter started going to AA to deal with her addiction to pain pills and has now been clean for 30 days. She has continued to drink alcohol and it does not seem to be a problem. Normal for her is a couple of drinks with friends on a Friday night. Here's my question. Is it OK for her to pick up her 30 day chip even though she drinks alcohol?
For a long time my husband tricked himself into believing he did not have a problem with alcohol, just pain medications. He released the pain meds, but he was still an active addict/alcoholic, not in recovery. It did not matter that he was attending meetings, getting chips and doing the "looks as if"....he was not in recovery until he acknowledged he was also an alcoholic. You will get more responses I am sure from those that have recovered from both. From my perspective, substance abuse is substance abuse and it does not matter in what form it shows up...these substances change the brain and creates an addict/alcoholic. I could see this disease more clearly and where I had blinders when I began attending al anon meetings and living the 12 steps. I hope you see that as an option for you if it isn't already a part of your life. Hugs to you and kudos to your daughter for kicking the pain pills....it is tough.
Aloha Grits...This is addiction to all mind and mood altering chemicals. Alcoholics use alcohol predominantly to alter while addicts usually defines those who use other chemicals. I use to get confused at bit cause I was married to an Alcoholic/Addict...She used whatever was available to get altered and she would use inspite of the negative wholistic affects. For me addiction is that...the continuous use of mind and mood alterning chemical inspite of serious and often fatal life affect. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
John Bradshaw describes addiction thusly, loosely paraphrased: "...any substance, behavior, or compulsion that is engaged in for the purpose of altering mood." In other words, anything a person does to fill up that empty hole inside, or to medicate that unresolved pain, is engaging in an addictive behavior. Whether it's alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, Internet, religion, the illusion of control over others, etc. - if it's being engaged in as a means of seeking comfort & relief, chances are that it's an addiction. The good news is that the 12 Steps can help any kind of addiction, because at their root, they are all spiritual sicknesses in need of Higher Power's healing touch.
John Bradshaw describes addiction thusly, loosely paraphrased: "...any substance, behavior, or compulsion that is engaged in for the purpose of altering mood." In other words, anything a person does to fill up that empty hole inside, or to medicate that unresolved pain, is engaging in an addictive behavior. Whether it's alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, Internet, religion, the illusion of control over others, etc. - if it's being engaged in as a means of seeking comfort & relief, chances are that it's an addiction. The good news is that the 12 Steps can help any kind of addiction, because at their root, they are all spiritual sicknesses in need of Higher Power's healing touch.
WOW.....so I used to go shopping and I would come home with "stuff" and be ashamed of me for spending my money on stuff I did not really need......I used to be on facebook constantly....again...distracting me or evading facing my pain??? most likely b/c as I work my program I am more balanced in how much time I spend on FB...internet....I never shop now unless I need something or want it REAL much and can afford it...otherwise, I pass......this is awesome threat b/c I did not know....Thanks all.....I have learned something......so I am addict personality and its no wonder.....i was spiritually sick......not recovered, but I can say I am "recovering coda, acoa, alanon" the word RECOVERING is what I use b/c I can only keep this stuff in remission if I continuously work my program.....which, to me, seems to be a step 11 thingy in itself......I also used to do the "comfort food" thingy....thank goodness I dn't have to watch my weight, I would be a "mama moose" with the habits that I had...I have cleaned that up a whole bunch too.....all thanks to program....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Only she will be able to say she is an alcoholic. It will probably take some experimenting, and it's own bottom if she is lacking awareness about addiction in general at this point. I see this often. Maybe that wont be her though. There is always hope. I knew a lady who was 23 and discovered she was an addict, and because her parents had great recovery in AA for decades - and because she grew up around recovery - she was able to recognize that addiction was addiction no matter what it was too. She quit drinking after having only drank a year in college and realizing it wasn't normal the way she was thinking about it. She didn't go through any of the suffering that most alcoholics do. She didn't have to lose anything, or even have to endure much more than a few bad hangovers with alcohol.
Currently, though she has been clean and sober for 11 years, she fights food addiction. She is not morbidly obese, but realized that she was heading toward the same path - and again, because of being exposed to recovery for other addictions, and knowing the principles of the program, she was able to catch it early and move along with the recovery process before lots of trouble.
Sadly, this is an exception to what I normally see. However, you being an example of recovery, staying focused on you, and working your own program, can only be a win win. Best wishes to you both.
