Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Truth · Truth

God I think so differently than most. Poor choices to me is choosing a salad vs a hamburger and fries. Choosing to not brush your teeth vs brushing them. Choosing to name call, intimidate, rage in front of a child is actually a form of child abuse. I don't consider that a poor choice. I call a spade a spad...

lookingup · lookingup

He said he just got in from out of town and been working hard he was dirty,he wanted to get some. Of his clothes and shower,I asked him where he was staying he said here and there,so I dunno,why he couldn't take a bath where he was staying????any ways he was straight as far as I could tell,said he would be bac...

debhud · debhud

morning all. i could use some suggestions as to my responses to my AS attitude. i have distanced myself somewhat from him and his downhill spiral. but we do talk on the phone a few times a week. conversation usually goes as follows..."mom, there is just so much on my plate right now. i can't do a...

Truth · Truth

Well today I have a fear creeping up, the old fear that I will not get believed. I find it so interesting that people are so willing to stand up and advocate for the alcoholic yet when I ask no one wants to get involved. What a crazy system we set up.

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've mostly been coming here and reading and benefiting from the experience, strength and hope of your shares lately. Each day seems to bring a new drama in my bf's family as well as consequences from his choices. I'm grateful for really getting what it means to detach and continue to take care of just m...

tortuga · tortuga

...thats when change begins to happen' I'm in that process. I don't know about you others out there, but I have been 2 years living with an A. and I separated in very dramatic hurtful ways. Today I can say, i am happy it all ended, even if it will take me months to recover from the abuse. It has become too horr...

tshorty · tshorty

AH came home yesterday and was another person after only a week. All he talked about was the meeting an how much he learned. My only thing is getting past all the hurt. He has done some some terrible things wasted money, cheating, you name it and I'm just trying to figure out what do I do with all the hurt...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

Well here I am again. I thought I was going to come here to offload a pity-party on to you. But after a quick think-through, I realize the real issue is me STILL not living MY life for MYSELF, but needing validation from others first and foremost. I'm not currently embroiled in any drama involving chemi...

sylviahenry · sylviahenry

are there any meetings?

sadsusie · sadsusie

I saw the post about Thailand, so I figured I would ask. We are planning an extended trip to Morocco to visit family, and my biggest concern is that I backslide. It would be a huge comfort to me to know there are meetings there. (we may eventually move). I looked online but found nothing. This is something...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I went to a meeting last night near my home. I haven't been to this particular meeting in awhile. My schedule didn't permit it. Finally, I could go. I have to admit that I sat there blinking in disbelief. There are people who have been in the program for a long, long time. The preamble includes a gu...

jcmo4029 · jcmo4029

I am new to this forum/board. I have first went to Al-Anon after my husband finished alcohol/drug treatment for 30 days, 30 years ago. He remained sober a year or two, then began drinking & smoking pot again. I remained in Al-Anon for a year or two after he began using again, then gradually left....

astallaslions · astallaslions

Tonight, was just awful. I've been dealing with depression, and not well. I had a pretty bad fit of it the night before. All I wanted was comfort, and he could give me any. So today, our terrible fight from the previous night triggered his cycle of woe-is-me binge drinking. I just don't know when it's gon...

lookingup · lookingup

Stayed busy allday best I could,I may have had a coda slip I dunno but I couldn't stand it anymore and I texted my a bf I asked him if he was ok he texted back and said yes he was good that he was out of town I guessed he was delivering cars,I dunno then he texted me agin and said thanks for asking.i texted back and...

tshorty · tshorty

Hello all, this is my first time on this blog but from what I read I really enjoy it. I just found out my hubby is an Addict and my life has been turned upside down. I saw the signs but didn't want to admit it but he finally confess and decided to go to rehab. He has been in rehab for only a week cause the insura...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Hi everyone! I hope everyone is doing well! Things here are going pretty well..aside from my AM still drinking... An update on myself.. I passed my Anatomy & Physiology 2 class with a B. It was hard but I had a really good Professor which made all the difference! I've finished all of my prer...

Truth · Truth

Well I did the abuse testing today and it was a clear yes. She said I pretty much had already done everything on the safety plan however she wanted to do the follow up counseling sessions to work through the last few issues I got triggered on. She said I must have worked through most of it because I am not get...

Alexsmom75 · Alexsmom75

So...9 years ago my husband had an affair after spending over a year deployed and being diagnosed with PTSD. Me being the dutiful enabler (I wasn't in al-anon at the time) not only stood by him, but made excuses why it wasn't his fault. I harbored hurt and resentment at him somewhat, but nothing compare...

SunshineGirl · SunshineGirl

A post to share my thankfulness for my Al-anon program. Today would have been a difficult day with my AH. I would have been angry, seething and acted like an insane person. As it was I acted and thought in my Al-anon way and it was a pleasant day. A brief moment of me starting to feel annoyed. Which I r...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. There have been a lot of good things happening in my life as of late. it's an opportunity for me to finally look back on my life and say wow, all this hard work maybe really was worth it. I have some many advantages that other don't and I...

Gaby · Gaby

So today I get a phone call from my sons car dealership they said his vehicle is out for repo. I told them I don't know what is going on I have had no communication with him. They said well we got the car. I know these people personally. So the lady said that repo guy found my son sleeping in the car and he told my...

lookingup · lookingup

I made a meeting finally here in mip last nite,it was good and I felt much better just helped me come to reality that I'm not alone with this desease.still feeling lonesome for I'm use to haveing someone here everynite but I have this boared and you all great folks,and my freinds,no family so my friends a...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Last night I came to an epiphany. I was asking myself about my dating life and why I just feel such a block when it comes to letting women in. I've been thinking about dating a lot lately. Whenever I think of the prospect of asking a gir...

Truth · Truth

One security system - check Tomorrow - safety plans and lawyer Gathering my evidence - check Action....action ....action

NinaB · NinaB

I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years which I love and adore even though we have had a lot of rough roads and I have always been a caregiver and catered to him. He has been in and out of AA for 20 plus years and knows the program well. Before him I was married to an alcoholic for 18 years and eventual...

Peggy53 · Peggy53

My sister in law, who has been drinking for 40 years, has been diagnosed with alcoholic keytoacidosis and released from the hospital. One more drink could kill her. She is resisting any recovery program. She is walking that fine line between life and death. Even after spending 4 days in the hospi...

el-cee · el-cee

My vocabulary has really grown these days. I use words like grateful, honesty, serenity, truth, courage, actually there are quite a few people i know with these names!!!! These words meant nothing to me before really. Living with the disease of alcoholism means there is no way these behaviours can b...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Today I had a parent teacher for my kids. They used to be all As students. 2 years ago, we moved because of AH's job. Their grades are continuously deteriorating. So the teachers were telling us they are not doing well. My AH was at the PT too. after that he commented that they are doing very badly. I told hi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was done with my marriage. I am looking for jobs, looking for a rental house I can get this summer, I have a lawyer and the money put away for the retainer, I feel READY truly. I have not communicated verbally any of this to my AH although it had appeared that he was...

Flower49 · Flower49

My life is completely insane and I know I am part to blame. My AH left 3 weeks ago to a 1/2 house. He told me after 2 weeks of not hearing from him that he is to pretend or act as if he is no longer married, he is not allowed to call home and can only talk to me for 2 minutes at a time. Finally he had me come visit this pa...

lookingup · lookingup

i had him leave my home,so he politely left,and I'm dieing inside and out literally,I'm all alone here in my big house.and yes I'm concerned about him if he is ok or not he is 52yrs old and has nobody.i just couldn't take it no more he had pushed me as far as I could go and I'm a bit scared cause the mess he said...

Afh · Afh

Hello! First, I want to apologize if I'm on the incorrect forum today. I'm new to this forum and I'm wanting to share my story and seek advice. I've been in and out of Alanon activity for about two years. I have read a lot of material and been to meetings. I have recently felt stronger about myself and not...

robind78 · robind78

I have a 29-year-old daughter who is addicted to opioids. I believe she is on Suboxone at this time. About a week and a half ago, she came over. She had been living with her opioid addicted boyfriend (currently on methadone) in her car about two weeks before that. Our encounter was not positive at al...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK friends. I have a small request. On June 26th 2014 at 11:05am- Australian Eastern Standard time- I will be undertaking the probationary drivers license test. I'm sure everyone knows how important this is to me so, I was hoping I could ask everyone a little favour. If everyone could arrange to take...

Gaby · Gaby

I miss my beautiful son. No word from him. I don't know and probably will not understand why this is happening. I keep faith and I will forever have hope. This is not like him to go on for do long not at least checking in to tell me something. I'm just hurting. I pray for peace and strength.. Can some one help m...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just got back from getting my hair done. I had a blast even though it took 5 hours. I have a whole new look. Was looking forward to coming home and my AH was looking forward to seeing me, unfortunately It was more a matter of wishful thinking. I was looking forward to coming home, but now that I am here, I wan...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, since I was reading Bettina's ESH, I felt compelled to confess something that I'm dealing with in my own program walk. I have been having a bit of an infatuation with a friend from FB. He is actually a good friend of my sister's and lives in another state. I have met him in person a few times and was al...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

at least I'm out of it. I was able to find the cat a home with a co worker who lives on a farm. It will probably be hard on her because she will go to an outdoor kitty. It's better than the alternative which is a kill shelter. I'm very not happy with the STBAX at this point. He's just being an A .. I realize th...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I haven't posted in a while things have not changed much I'm still focusing on me and trying to do good by me .. I'm living in the moment taking it one day at a time trying not to take things so QTIP and following my high power keeping to my side . Not putting any exspectations on me , trying to be good to myself a...

Beatrice · Beatrice

" When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Dissapointment, defeat and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." Coehlo

Beatrice · Beatrice

Well here goes...when I was in my senior year of HS, I met a boy I fell so in love with, we really loved eachother, we had the greatest time. We both had music in common and both won outstanding Music awards in our senior year. My singing career was going well and I had just signed a deal to do 3 musicals at Sa...

Truth · Truth

I am so happy today. I know I deserve a relationship of equality. I know the only way to stop the cycle of abuse is to leave. I know I am not to blame for what was taught. I know abuse is a learned behavior. I know that holding people unaccountable for their actions is enabling. I know that secrets keep you sic...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I got home from walking the dog and I was complaining about how I had an audiobook that I really should have bought a hard copy of because I wanted to take better notes. But, I had free credits on audible and didn't want to waste them. So, AH says, "Oh, speaking of good reads. Here's one I finish...

abba31 · abba31

I feel trapped...I know I am new here but I am really in a bad way right now. I have lived with this for so long now. I feel like i am in a position where I am unable to leave and that makes this worse. I have been living in Arkansas for about 7 years now...i have no family here and very few friends and of those t...

Truth · Truth

So I was reading a very interesting article today about a betrayal bond. It is so interesting because 30 years from know everything we thought we knew will change.

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Tough day for me. From the people staying with AH now, he skipped work today. He broke some beer bottle and probably step on them so this morning there were bloody footprint around the living room. As much as I want to ask him how he is, I did not because he might think hurting himself is the way to get my atte...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hey all. I deleted my account. Don't ask. I've been really ill for 10 days or so, lying in bed with a monster fever and questionable reasoning skills, stabbing blindly at my laptop occasionally in a futile attempt to communicate with the outside world and mostly just deleting stuff I needed and puttin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. so I'm kind of working this out in my head and I guess I just need some validation for what I think I should do and what I want to do which is always a big jump .. I want to burn that dam truck .. I know I shouldn't .. LOL. So as I've posted it was a wild weekend in terms of the insanity that my STBAX THINKS he can...

Debb · Debb

I really want to learn how to see the truth, not just put all the blame on him so that I can be free of the self pity and the victim role. When he drinks all the normalcy of our lives goes out the window. Everything becomes a monumental problem for which I am always to blame. Today we had to come to the realizati...

Mattie · Mattie

I've been watching episodes of a British TV show called "The Hoarder Next Door." It's on YouTube. It's very good in examining how people came to be hoarders (often losses in early life, coupled with becoming attached to objects as comfort). But the part that's most mind-boggling is th...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

After calming down and processing the events that had happened, I realized my hands are not clean in failed marriage. It is like my AH hurting himself and I added salt to the injury. He is responsible for hurting himself but I made it more painful for everyone. On hindsight, I should have left earlier or...

John · John

A big thank you goes out to everyone who made a donation to help pay for 2 years coverage on our web hosting and domain address! The total donated in the past 48 hours is 323.52. 275.00 was needed to cover our web site hosting and domain name registration (12stepforums.net) for 2 years. This leaves us...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Elcee, I never being around an A and knowing anything about one, married my friend and lover of over twenty years. We also have a son. He was on a strong recovery plan, AA, lived it.Would not take an aspirin or drink juice even! We had a great time for almost 2 ye...

el-cee · el-cee

The behaviours that come with addiction are a bit predictable and obvious to me, most tell lies, manipulate others using fear, pity, sympathy etc, most are verbally abusive, some are physically abusive, most are devious and cunning. The list could go on and on but most of the negative behaviours see...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Hi! I have posted here before and then I started regularly attending face to face meetings. I tried to do an online meeting this weekend but my wifi and iPhone weren't having that. :( My sponsor is having some health issues and I don't want to be a bother and I can't find the phone list. I'm having troubl...

AnneR · AnneR

My husband has been sober for 9 years. At that time things had gotten pretty bad, I threatened to leave, and it convinced him to do "rehab at home". It was very expensive, but worked. Recently he started drinking again. He has been going for 9 years and still to AA meetings once a week. He never...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

of a small town .. I'm seriously laughing so hard I am crying. I decided that I wanted to kind of put my toe in the water again of the dating stream I haven't had a first date in what .. 17 years I think it's been? I realize I'm not divorced yet .. I'm not looking for a hook up or even a long term boyfriend .. it w...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just sent my AH off to figure out a way for himself to get to the ER. This is the umpteenth time. He knows what happens when he does drugs. He is not my responsibility. I will not clean up after his messes. All he can think about is Guilt..He is in a pit of Guilt. Boy does that sound familiar, because I was the...

lookingup · lookingup

His money makeing is from illegal means ,my a bf.now how do I relate to him is my ?,without my blowing up at his behavior,he don't sleep or don't hardly sleep, ill,etc.he stays gone a lot...hugs ,looking up and I do think he is on it himself it's crystalmeth or ice is what my a bf finally told me after I staye...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I completely forgot to mention this and in one regard I hesitate to, on another it is the reality of what happens when someone goes back out and starts drinking/drugging again .. it's a big reality check on how powerful, cunning and baffling the disease is and the collateral damage that is left to deal w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Poor Choices vs Abuse (Preview) God I think so differently than most. Poor choices to me is choosing a salad vs a hamburger and fries. Choosing to not brush your teeth vs brushing them. Choosing to name call, intimidate, rage in front of a child is actually a form of child abuse. I don't consider that a poor choice. I call a spade a spad...	Truth	29	528	Jun 1, 2014 by el-cee
	A bf dropped in yesterday (Preview) He said he just got in from out of town and been working hard he was dirty,he wanted to get some. Of his clothes and shower,I asked him where he was staying he said here and there,so I dunno,why he couldn't take a bath where he was staying????any ways he was straight as far as I could tell,said he would be bac...	lookingup	13	486	Jun 1, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	how do i respond to AS "poor me" attitude? (Preview) morning all. i could use some suggestions as to my responses to my AS attitude. i have distanced myself somewhat from him and his downhill spiral. but we do talk on the phone a few times a week. conversation usually goes as follows..."mom, there is just so much on my plate right now. i can't do a...	debhud	8	1162	Jun 1, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Old fear creeping up ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Well today I have a fear creeping up, the old fear that I will not get believed. I find it so interesting that people are so willing to stand up and advocate for the alcoholic yet when I ask no one wants to get involved. What a crazy system we set up.	Truth	40	688	May 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Keeping the Focus on Me (Preview) I've mostly been coming here and reading and benefiting from the experience, strength and hope of your shares lately. Each day seems to bring a new drama in my bf's family as well as consequences from his choices. I'm grateful for really getting what it means to detach and continue to take care of just m...	tiredtonite	5	543	May 31, 2014 by hotrod
	' when the pain of living with an alcoholic gets greater than the fear of leaving them ... (Preview) ...thats when change begins to happen' I'm in that process. I don't know about you others out there, but I have been 2 years living with an A. and I separated in very dramatic hurtful ways. Today I can say, i am happy it all ended, even if it will take me months to recover from the abuse. It has become too horr...	tortuga	14	782	May 31, 2014 by neshema2
	Day 1 (Preview) AH came home yesterday and was another person after only a week. All he talked about was the meeting an how much he learned. My only thing is getting past all the hurt. He has done some some terrible things wasted money, cheating, you name it and I'm just trying to figure out what do I do with all the hurt...	tshorty	4	315	May 31, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Still hero-worshiping egomaniacs (Preview) Well here I am again. I thought I was going to come here to offload a pity-party on to you. But after a quick think-through, I realize the real issue is me STILL not living MY life for MYSELF, but needing validation from others first and foremost. I'm not currently embroiled in any drama involving chemi...	ClearTheFog	9	406	May 31, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	o-onon for families of overeaters anonymous (Preview) are there any meetings?	sylviahenry	3	828	May 31, 2014 by DavidG
	Any chance there are Alanon Meetings in Rabat or Casablana Morocco? (Preview) I saw the post about Thailand, so I figured I would ask. We are planning an extended trip to Morocco to visit family, and my biggest concern is that I backslide. It would be a huge comfort to me to know there are meetings there. (we may eventually move). I looked online but found nothing. This is something...	sadsusie	2	539	May 30, 2014 by hotrod
	Staying stuck (Preview) I went to a meeting last night near my home. I haven't been to this particular meeting in awhile. My schedule didn't permit it. Finally, I could go. I have to admit that I sat there blinking in disbelief. There are people who have been in the program for a long, long time. The preamble includes a gu...	grateful2be	22	718	May 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	Is Al-Anon Right For Me? (Preview) I am new to this forum/board. I have first went to Al-Anon after my husband finished alcohol/drug treatment for 30 days, 30 years ago. He remained sober a year or two, then began drinking & smoking pot again. I remained in Al-Anon for a year or two after he began using again, then gradually left....	jcmo4029	14	1811	May 30, 2014 by likemyheart
	messed up night (Preview) Tonight, was just awful. I've been dealing with depression, and not well. I had a pretty bad fit of it the night before. All I wanted was comfort, and he could give me any. So today, our terrible fight from the previous night triggered his cycle of woe-is-me binge drinking. I just don't know when it's gon...	astallaslions	5	569	May 30, 2014 by Jerry F
	Today seemed a bit better than yesterday. (Preview) Stayed busy allday best I could,I may have had a coda slip I dunno but I couldn't stand it anymore and I texted my a bf I asked him if he was ok he texted back and said yes he was good that he was out of town I guessed he was delivering cars,I dunno then he texted me agin and said thanks for asking.i texted back and...	lookingup	2	335	May 30, 2014 by hotrod
	Nervous return home (Preview) Hello all, this is my first time on this blog but from what I read I really enjoy it. I just found out my hubby is an Addict and my life has been turned upside down. I saw the signs but didn't want to admit it but he finally confess and decided to go to rehab. He has been in rehab for only a week cause the insura...	tshorty	3	508	May 30, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Update (Preview) Hi everyone! I hope everyone is doing well! Things here are going pretty well..aside from my AM still drinking... An update on myself.. I passed my Anatomy & Physiology 2 class with a B. It was hard but I had a really good Professor which made all the difference! I've finished all of my prer...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	222	May 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	Lawyer and Abuse Test (Preview) Well I did the abuse testing today and it was a clear yes. She said I pretty much had already done everything on the safety plan however she wanted to do the follow up counseling sessions to work through the last few issues I got triggered on. She said I must have worked through most of it because I am not get...	Truth	4	326	May 30, 2014 by Truth
	Made an amends - the alcoholic in my life would like to use it against me - am I wrong? (Preview) So...9 years ago my husband had an affair after spending over a year deployed and being diagnosed with PTSD. Me being the dutiful enabler (I wasn't in al-anon at the time) not only stood by him, but made excuses why it wasn't his fault. I harbored hurt and resentment at him somewhat, but nothing compare...	Alexsmom75	10	451	May 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	Peaceful Day (Preview) A post to share my thankfulness for my Al-anon program. Today would have been a difficult day with my AH. I would have been angry, seething and acted like an insane person. As it was I acted and thought in my Al-anon way and it was a pleasant day. A brief moment of me starting to feel annoyed. Which I r...	SunshineGirl	5	345	May 30, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Happy moments always leave me angry, and random musings (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. There have been a lot of good things happening in my life as of late. it's an opportunity for me to finally look back on my life and say wow, all this hard work maybe really was worth it. I have some many advantages that other don't and I...	slogan_jim	8	386	May 29, 2014 by hotrod
	He is carless ::: (Preview) So today I get a phone call from my sons car dealership they said his vehicle is out for repo. I told them I don't know what is going on I have had no communication with him. They said well we got the car. I know these people personally. So the lady said that repo guy found my son sleeping in the car and he told my...	Gaby	6	547	May 29, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Made a meeting! (Preview) I made a meeting finally here in mip last nite,it was good and I felt much better just helped me come to reality that I'm not alone with this desease.still feeling lonesome for I'm use to haveing someone here everynite but I have this boared and you all great folks,and my freinds,no family so my friends a...	lookingup	3	315	May 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm afraid to trust/labels. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Last night I came to an epiphany. I was asking myself about my dating life and why I just feel such a block when it comes to letting women in. I've been thinking about dating a lot lately. Whenever I think of the prospect of asking a gir...	slogan_jim	8	519	May 29, 2014 by serenity40
	K I am getting there (Preview) One security system - check Tomorrow - safety plans and lawyer Gathering my evidence - check Action....action ....action	Truth	6	401	May 29, 2014 by hotrod
	My partner has shut me out (Preview) I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years which I love and adore even though we have had a lot of rough roads and I have always been a caregiver and catered to him. He has been in and out of AA for 20 plus years and knows the program well. Before him I was married to an alcoholic for 18 years and eventual...	NinaB	9	2932	May 29, 2014 by PP
	I fear we are reaching the end (Preview) My sister in law, who has been drinking for 40 years, has been diagnosed with alcoholic keytoacidosis and released from the hospital. One more drink could kill her. She is resisting any recovery program. She is walking that fine line between life and death. Even after spending 4 days in the hospi...	Peggy53	12	576	May 29, 2014 by Peggy53
	My Humility (Preview) My vocabulary has really grown these days. I use words like grateful, honesty, serenity, truth, courage, actually there are quite a few people i know with these names!!!! These words meant nothing to me before really. Living with the disease of alcoholism means there is no way these behaviours can b...	el-cee	11	689	May 29, 2014 by el-cee
	I lost it today (Preview) Today I had a parent teacher for my kids. They used to be all As students. 2 years ago, we moved because of AH's job. Their grades are continuously deteriorating. So the teachers were telling us they are not doing well. My AH was at the PT too. after that he commented that they are doing very badly. I told hi...	sunshine23	9	443	May 29, 2014 by el-cee
	he's TRYING and I'm angry...why? (Preview) So, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was done with my marriage. I am looking for jobs, looking for a rental house I can get this summer, I have a lawyer and the money put away for the retainer, I feel READY truly. I have not communicated verbally any of this to my AH although it had appeared that he was...	ilovedogs	7	522	May 29, 2014 by AlAnonPhuket
	Grief Loss Abandonmet (Preview) My life is completely insane and I know I am part to blame. My AH left 3 weeks ago to a 1/2 house. He told me after 2 weeks of not hearing from him that he is to pretend or act as if he is no longer married, he is not allowed to call home and can only talk to me for 2 minutes at a time. Finally he had me come visit this pa...	Flower49	2	584	May 29, 2014 by Flower49
	My a b/f has moved out (Preview) i had him leave my home,so he politely left,and I'm dieing inside and out literally,I'm all alone here in my big house.and yes I'm concerned about him if he is ok or not he is 52yrs old and has nobody.i just couldn't take it no more he had pushed me as far as I could go and I'm a bit scared cause the mess he said...	lookingup	6	481	May 29, 2014 by lookingup
	New and need help! (Preview) Hello! First, I want to apologize if I'm on the incorrect forum today. I'm new to this forum and I'm wanting to share my story and seek advice. I've been in and out of Alanon activity for about two years. I have read a lot of material and been to meetings. I have recently felt stronger about myself and not...	Afh	6	458	May 29, 2014 by Afh
	Grief (Preview) I have a 29-year-old daughter who is addicted to opioids. I believe she is on Suboxone at this time. About a week and a half ago, she came over. She had been living with her opioid addicted boyfriend (currently on methadone) in her car about two weeks before that. Our encounter was not positive at al...	robind78	7	608	May 29, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	A small request. (Preview) OK friends. I have a small request. On June 26th 2014 at 11:05am- Australian Eastern Standard time- I will be undertaking the probationary drivers license test. I'm sure everyone knows how important this is to me so, I was hoping I could ask everyone a little favour. If everyone could arrange to take...	missmeliss	18	682	May 28, 2014 by Jen61
	I'm just hurting .. (Preview) I miss my beautiful son. No word from him. I don't know and probably will not understand why this is happening. I keep faith and I will forever have hope. This is not like him to go on for do long not at least checking in to tell me something. I'm just hurting. I pray for peace and strength.. Can some one help m...	Gaby	12	512	May 28, 2014 by Ingwe
	AH keeps saying that everything is fine...but it's not (Preview) I just got back from getting my hair done. I had a blast even though it took 5 hours. I have a whole new look. Was looking forward to coming home and my AH was looking forward to seeing me, unfortunately It was more a matter of wishful thinking. I was looking forward to coming home, but now that I am here, I wan...	sadsusie	8	622	May 28, 2014 by Truth
	Relating to Bettina's honesty (Preview) So, since I was reading Bettina's ESH, I felt compelled to confess something that I'm dealing with in my own program walk. I have been having a bit of an infatuation with a friend from FB. He is actually a good friend of my sister's and lives in another state. I have met him in person a few times and was al...	ilovedogs	13	696	May 28, 2014 by Debilyn
	I think partially resolved .. (Preview) at least I'm out of it. I was able to find the cat a home with a co worker who lives on a farm. It will probably be hard on her because she will go to an outdoor kitty. It's better than the alternative which is a kill shelter. I'm very not happy with the STBAX at this point. He's just being an A .. I realize th...	SerenityRUS	1	367	May 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm ok (Preview) I haven't posted in a while things have not changed much I'm still focusing on me and trying to do good by me .. I'm living in the moment taking it one day at a time trying not to take things so QTIP and following my high power keeping to my side . Not putting any exspectations on me , trying to be good to myself a...	Wisdom67	6	387	May 28, 2014 by el-cee
	more good stuff (Preview) " When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Dissapointment, defeat and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." Coehlo	Beatrice	3	296	May 28, 2014 by el-cee
	I guess I should talk to you, all about this... (Preview) Well here goes...when I was in my senior year of HS, I met a boy I fell so in love with, we really loved eachother, we had the greatest time. We both had music in common and both won outstanding Music awards in our senior year. My singing career was going well and I had just signed a deal to do 3 musicals at Sa...	Beatrice	15	771	May 28, 2014 by el-cee
	A relationship of equality (Preview) I am so happy today. I know I deserve a relationship of equality. I know the only way to stop the cycle of abuse is to leave. I know I am not to blame for what was taught. I know abuse is a learned behavior. I know that holding people unaccountable for their actions is enabling. I know that secrets keep you sic...	Truth	3	442	May 28, 2014 by neshema2
	Aww, that's sweet: he shared his new book with me, LOL (Preview) So, I got home from walking the dog and I was complaining about how I had an audiobook that I really should have bought a hard copy of because I wanted to take better notes. But, I had free credits on audible and didn't want to waste them. So, AH says, "Oh, speaking of good reads. Here's one I finish...	ilovedogs	9	620	May 28, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	TRAPPED (Preview) I feel trapped...I know I am new here but I am really in a bad way right now. I have lived with this for so long now. I feel like i am in a position where I am unable to leave and that makes this worse. I have been living in Arkansas for about 7 years now...i have no family here and very few friends and of those t...	abba31	7	825	May 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Betrayal Bond (Preview) So I was reading a very interesting article today about a betrayal bond. It is so interesting because 30 years from know everything we thought we knew will change.	Truth	1	395	May 27, 2014 by neshema2
	Throwing tantrum (Preview) Tough day for me. From the people staying with AH now, he skipped work today. He broke some beer bottle and probably step on them so this morning there were bloody footprint around the living room. As much as I want to ask him how he is, I did not because he might think hurting himself is the way to get my atte...	sunshine23	6	590	May 27, 2014 by sunshine23
	Hello, Melly here :-) (Preview) Hey all. I deleted my account. Don't ask. I've been really ill for 10 days or so, lying in bed with a monster fever and questionable reasoning skills, stabbing blindly at my laptop occasionally in a futile attempt to communicate with the outside world and mostly just deleting stuff I needed and puttin...	missmeliss	13	628	May 27, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Now I wonder .. (Preview) Ok .. so I'm kind of working this out in my head and I guess I just need some validation for what I think I should do and what I want to do which is always a big jump .. I want to burn that dam truck .. I know I shouldn't .. LOL. So as I've posted it was a wild weekend in terms of the insanity that my STBAX THINKS he can...	SerenityRUS	5	418	May 27, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Want to learn how to not blame Learning to see the truth (Preview) I really want to learn how to see the truth, not just put all the blame on him so that I can be free of the self pity and the victim role. When he drinks all the normalcy of our lives goes out the window. Everything becomes a monumental problem for which I am always to blame. Today we had to come to the realizati...	Debb	10	665	May 27, 2014 by Debb
	Thoughts on the excuses (Preview) I've been watching episodes of a British TV show called "The Hoarder Next Door." It's on YouTube. It's very good in examining how people came to be hoarders (often losses in early life, coupled with becoming attached to objects as comfort). But the part that's most mind-boggling is th...	Mattie	8	555	May 27, 2014 by el-cee
	Apologizing to A (Preview) After calming down and processing the events that had happened, I realized my hands are not clean in failed marriage. It is like my AH hurting himself and I added salt to the injury. He is responsible for hurting himself but I made it more painful for everyone. On hindsight, I should have left earlier or...	sunshine23	11	455	May 27, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	MIP Site Hosting and Domain Reg. Funding Met! (Preview) A big thank you goes out to everyone who made a donation to help pay for 2 years coverage on our web hosting and domain address! The total donated in the past 48 hours is 323.52. 275.00 was needed to cover our web site hosting and domain name registration (12stepforums.net) for 2 years. This leaves us...	John	3	326	May 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	For El-cee,my recent life. What makes me need MIP (Preview) Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Elcee, I never being around an A and knowing anything about one, married my friend and lover of over twenty years. We also have a son. He was on a strong recovery plan, AA, lived it.Would not take an aspirin or drink juice even! We had a great time for almost 2 ye...	Debilyn	11	639	May 27, 2014 by milkwood
	The predictable alcoholic (Preview) The behaviours that come with addiction are a bit predictable and obvious to me, most tell lies, manipulate others using fear, pity, sympathy etc, most are verbally abusive, some are physically abusive, most are devious and cunning. The list could go on and on but most of the negative behaviours see...	el-cee	23	760	May 27, 2014 by el-cee
	Right now I'm insane, again! (Preview) Hi! I have posted here before and then I started regularly attending face to face meetings. I tried to do an online meeting this weekend but my wifi and iPhone weren't having that. :( My sponsor is having some health issues and I don't want to be a bother and I can't find the phone list. I'm having troubl...	HisMrsWright	5	495	May 26, 2014 by HisMrsWright
	Spouse went off the wagon after 9 years; what should I do? (Preview) My husband has been sober for 9 years. At that time things had gotten pretty bad, I threatened to leave, and it convinced him to do "rehab at home". It was very expensive, but worked. Recently he started drinking again. He has been going for 9 years and still to AA meetings once a week. He never...	AnneR	10	456	May 26, 2014 by AnneR
	Ohhh the irony .. (Preview) of a small town .. I'm seriously laughing so hard I am crying. I decided that I wanted to kind of put my toe in the water again of the dating stream I haven't had a first date in what .. 17 years I think it's been? I realize I'm not divorced yet .. I'm not looking for a hook up or even a long term boyfriend .. it w...	SerenityRUS	12	1830	May 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Find your own way to the ER.....again.. (Preview) I just sent my AH off to figure out a way for himself to get to the ER. This is the umpteenth time. He knows what happens when he does drugs. He is not my responsibility. I will not clean up after his messes. All he can think about is Guilt..He is in a pit of Guilt. Boy does that sound familiar, because I was the...	sadsusie	5	614	May 26, 2014 by el-cee
	I'm slow but I figure it out. (Preview) His money makeing is from illegal means ,my a bf.now how do I relate to him is my ?,without my blowing up at his behavior,he don't sleep or don't hardly sleep, ill,etc.he stays gone a lot...hugs ,looking up and I do think he is on it himself it's crystalmeth or ice is what my a bf finally told me after I staye...	lookingup	4	474	May 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Prayers for the recovery family here in town .. (Preview) I completely forgot to mention this and in one regard I hesitate to, on another it is the reality of what happens when someone goes back out and starts drinking/drugging again .. it's a big reality check on how powerful, cunning and baffling the disease is and the collateral damage that is left to deal w...	SerenityRUS	3	344	May 26, 2014 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.