Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

My vocabulary has really grown these days. I use words like grateful, honesty, serenity, truth, courage, actually there are quite a few people i know with these names!!!! These words meant nothing to me before really. Living with the disease of alcoholism means there is no way these behaviours can b...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Today I had a parent teacher for my kids. They used to be all As students. 2 years ago, we moved because of AH's job. Their grades are continuously deteriorating. So the teachers were telling us they are not doing well. My AH was at the PT too. after that he commented that they are doing very badly. I told hi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was done with my marriage. I am looking for jobs, looking for a rental house I can get this summer, I have a lawyer and the money put away for the retainer, I feel READY truly. I have not communicated verbally any of this to my AH although it had appeared that he was...

Flower49 · Flower49

My life is completely insane and I know I am part to blame. My AH left 3 weeks ago to a 1/2 house. He told me after 2 weeks of not hearing from him that he is to pretend or act as if he is no longer married, he is not allowed to call home and can only talk to me for 2 minutes at a time. Finally he had me come visit this pa...

lookingup · lookingup

i had him leave my home,so he politely left,and I'm dieing inside and out literally,I'm all alone here in my big house.and yes I'm concerned about him if he is ok or not he is 52yrs old and has nobody.i just couldn't take it no more he had pushed me as far as I could go and I'm a bit scared cause the mess he said...

Afh · Afh

Hello! First, I want to apologize if I'm on the incorrect forum today. I'm new to this forum and I'm wanting to share my story and seek advice. I've been in and out of Alanon activity for about two years. I have read a lot of material and been to meetings. I have recently felt stronger about myself and not...

robind78 · robind78

I have a 29-year-old daughter who is addicted to opioids. I believe she is on Suboxone at this time. About a week and a half ago, she came over. She had been living with her opioid addicted boyfriend (currently on methadone) in her car about two weeks before that. Our encounter was not positive at al...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK friends. I have a small request. On June 26th 2014 at 11:05am- Australian Eastern Standard time- I will be undertaking the probationary drivers license test. I'm sure everyone knows how important this is to me so, I was hoping I could ask everyone a little favour. If everyone could arrange to take...

Gaby · Gaby

I miss my beautiful son. No word from him. I don't know and probably will not understand why this is happening. I keep faith and I will forever have hope. This is not like him to go on for do long not at least checking in to tell me something. I'm just hurting. I pray for peace and strength.. Can some one help m...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just got back from getting my hair done. I had a blast even though it took 5 hours. I have a whole new look. Was looking forward to coming home and my AH was looking forward to seeing me, unfortunately It was more a matter of wishful thinking. I was looking forward to coming home, but now that I am here, I wan...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, since I was reading Bettina's ESH, I felt compelled to confess something that I'm dealing with in my own program walk. I have been having a bit of an infatuation with a friend from FB. He is actually a good friend of my sister's and lives in another state. I have met him in person a few times and was al...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

at least I'm out of it. I was able to find the cat a home with a co worker who lives on a farm. It will probably be hard on her because she will go to an outdoor kitty. It's better than the alternative which is a kill shelter. I'm very not happy with the STBAX at this point. He's just being an A .. I realize th...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I haven't posted in a while things have not changed much I'm still focusing on me and trying to do good by me .. I'm living in the moment taking it one day at a time trying not to take things so QTIP and following my high power keeping to my side . Not putting any exspectations on me , trying to be good to myself a...

Beatrice · Beatrice

" When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Dissapointment, defeat and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." Coehlo

Beatrice · Beatrice

Well here goes...when I was in my senior year of HS, I met a boy I fell so in love with, we really loved eachother, we had the greatest time. We both had music in common and both won outstanding Music awards in our senior year. My singing career was going well and I had just signed a deal to do 3 musicals at Sa...

Truth · Truth

I am so happy today. I know I deserve a relationship of equality. I know the only way to stop the cycle of abuse is to leave. I know I am not to blame for what was taught. I know abuse is a learned behavior. I know that holding people unaccountable for their actions is enabling. I know that secrets keep you sic...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I got home from walking the dog and I was complaining about how I had an audiobook that I really should have bought a hard copy of because I wanted to take better notes. But, I had free credits on audible and didn't want to waste them. So, AH says, "Oh, speaking of good reads. Here's one I finish...

abba31 · abba31

I feel trapped...I know I am new here but I am really in a bad way right now. I have lived with this for so long now. I feel like i am in a position where I am unable to leave and that makes this worse. I have been living in Arkansas for about 7 years now...i have no family here and very few friends and of those t...

Truth · Truth

So I was reading a very interesting article today about a betrayal bond. It is so interesting because 30 years from know everything we thought we knew will change.

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Tough day for me. From the people staying with AH now, he skipped work today. He broke some beer bottle and probably step on them so this morning there were bloody footprint around the living room. As much as I want to ask him how he is, I did not because he might think hurting himself is the way to get my atte...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hey all. I deleted my account. Don't ask. I've been really ill for 10 days or so, lying in bed with a monster fever and questionable reasoning skills, stabbing blindly at my laptop occasionally in a futile attempt to communicate with the outside world and mostly just deleting stuff I needed and puttin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. so I'm kind of working this out in my head and I guess I just need some validation for what I think I should do and what I want to do which is always a big jump .. I want to burn that dam truck .. I know I shouldn't .. LOL. So as I've posted it was a wild weekend in terms of the insanity that my STBAX THINKS he can...

Debb · Debb

I really want to learn how to see the truth, not just put all the blame on him so that I can be free of the self pity and the victim role. When he drinks all the normalcy of our lives goes out the window. Everything becomes a monumental problem for which I am always to blame. Today we had to come to the realizati...

Mattie · Mattie

I've been watching episodes of a British TV show called "The Hoarder Next Door." It's on YouTube. It's very good in examining how people came to be hoarders (often losses in early life, coupled with becoming attached to objects as comfort). But the part that's most mind-boggling is th...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

After calming down and processing the events that had happened, I realized my hands are not clean in failed marriage. It is like my AH hurting himself and I added salt to the injury. He is responsible for hurting himself but I made it more painful for everyone. On hindsight, I should have left earlier or...

John · John

A big thank you goes out to everyone who made a donation to help pay for 2 years coverage on our web hosting and domain address! The total donated in the past 48 hours is 323.52. 275.00 was needed to cover our web site hosting and domain name registration (12stepforums.net) for 2 years. This leaves us...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Elcee, I never being around an A and knowing anything about one, married my friend and lover of over twenty years. We also have a son. He was on a strong recovery plan, AA, lived it.Would not take an aspirin or drink juice even! We had a great time for almost 2 ye...

el-cee · el-cee

The behaviours that come with addiction are a bit predictable and obvious to me, most tell lies, manipulate others using fear, pity, sympathy etc, most are verbally abusive, some are physically abusive, most are devious and cunning. The list could go on and on but most of the negative behaviours see...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Hi! I have posted here before and then I started regularly attending face to face meetings. I tried to do an online meeting this weekend but my wifi and iPhone weren't having that. :( My sponsor is having some health issues and I don't want to be a bother and I can't find the phone list. I'm having troubl...

AnneR · AnneR

My husband has been sober for 9 years. At that time things had gotten pretty bad, I threatened to leave, and it convinced him to do "rehab at home". It was very expensive, but worked. Recently he started drinking again. He has been going for 9 years and still to AA meetings once a week. He never...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

of a small town .. I'm seriously laughing so hard I am crying. I decided that I wanted to kind of put my toe in the water again of the dating stream I haven't had a first date in what .. 17 years I think it's been? I realize I'm not divorced yet .. I'm not looking for a hook up or even a long term boyfriend .. it w...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just sent my AH off to figure out a way for himself to get to the ER. This is the umpteenth time. He knows what happens when he does drugs. He is not my responsibility. I will not clean up after his messes. All he can think about is Guilt..He is in a pit of Guilt. Boy does that sound familiar, because I was the...

lookingup · lookingup

His money makeing is from illegal means ,my a bf.now how do I relate to him is my ?,without my blowing up at his behavior,he don't sleep or don't hardly sleep, ill,etc.he stays gone a lot...hugs ,looking up and I do think he is on it himself it's crystalmeth or ice is what my a bf finally told me after I staye...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I completely forgot to mention this and in one regard I hesitate to, on another it is the reality of what happens when someone goes back out and starts drinking/drugging again .. it's a big reality check on how powerful, cunning and baffling the disease is and the collateral damage that is left to deal w...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Growing up in a non dysfunctional family, no oxy moron either! (c: I know that accepting anyone being mean to you, hurting you, not listening, not caring is wrong for me. I know me, and phoniness is not part of me. You be mean to me, and I am gone, or that person is. Unless one comes back to apologize, I am don...

Debilyn · Debilyn

We do have to be careful what we post on our mip board. Please make sure you check before you share things, that what you are sharing is ok'd by the author. It is illegal, in Al Anon and on mip we do not support illegal events even if they may never be found. We could lose our MIP, and John could be in trouble if w...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

I'm so angry. I haven't posted on here in a while as I tried to spend less time online/meet with people face to face more but I'm ANGRY. I'm angry at my ex who is an alcoholic who stole money and cheated, and couldn't get it together. I know it's not about me..I know he has his demons and I can't take it person...

John · John

Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums is hosted by GoDaddy.com. Two years of web hosting cost 242.00. Our domain address (12stepforums.net) cost 33..00 for two years. Both are due for renewal at this time. Please consider helping us meet this expense by sending in a donation using the Do...

John · John

Hi everyone, Since posting the following post last night we have collected 170.00 in donations! I am hopeful that we can meet the full amount to secure our place in cyberspace for two years by the end of today. If you made a donation already, thank you ever so much, and if not, I hope you will consider it t...

Truth · Truth

I am beginning to realize their is a difference between alcoholics/addicts and abusers. I am also beginning to realize that victims of domestic violence heal differently. I am beginning to see "red" flags of domestic violence in the rooms. These are the woman and men that appear out of co...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, STBAX has the kids today. He offered to take our daughter for a haircut. Now this is after telling her he had no money and wouldn't until he'd been moved out and so on. I know him well enough to know he's thinking if he does this the judge will think he's a nice guy and he's going to lower the child s...

Caspita08 · Caspita08

TRIGGER WARNING...... link to image of addiction below So the wife of a very good friend of mine posted the following image on Facebook and I sort of lost it : I was so triggered that I blocked her. Well....truthfully first I mentioned that the picture was not funny as someone wh...

Truth · Truth

About the horse thief?

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH decided to tear down an old wooden play structure in our backyard. My older children with my first husband helped him build it. They remember helping him and it meant a lot to them, even though the structure needed to be torn down. It had termites and was in bad shape. My AH mentioned tearing it down t...

Truth · Truth

I am beginning to understand the fear tactics the alcoholics/addicts in my life use to control the situation. They accuse you of judging them, they accuse you not letting them make mistakes, they accuse you that you are responsible for who they associate with. They recruit and get negative advocate...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

I just spoke to my relative whose functioning A (at least I think so) had a heart to heart talk with my AH in a bar (lol). Verdict is "you are asking for the impossible"( eyes rolling) "his job requires him to drink" (eyes continues to roll with blood pressure rising) and everyone t...

Gaby · Gaby

My morning started rough. I get a call from my sons daughters mom. I chose to not answer. This just tells me that my son has not been over there to see his daughter. I have not heard from my son for a week and have not seen him going on 4 weeks. I have to have to get my energy an my strenghth for what ever comes my wa...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

After I have moved out, AH also moved out after 10 days. Now I have two places to stay. Since I signed a 6 months lease, I am now responsible to pay this and my first house. my family members asked if I regretted moving out since I could have waited for 10 days and AH may moved by then. I actually feel that the ac...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I had a falling out with my parents over a year ago and have not spoken to them since then. My sister got mad me over it without talking to me about what happened. I wanted so badly to talk to her about it for a few reasons. In 2008 we tried family counseling with my parents but my parents dropped out because th...

Truth · Truth

Gosh I have so much trouble with this statement. What if sometimes it is real evidence appearing real and your body is reacting naturally?

sunshine23 · sunshine23

I have moved out for 2 weeks. I know it is definitely the right decision. Beside moving, I also divided our savings after he hurled insults at me about leaving him broke. He told that to people who know about our situation. Every time he said such things about me, it will hurt and drive me insane. How coul...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi I have a friend who's daughter is graduating this next week and is all upset about having to get her daughter a new dress. Excuse.....she's wearing a cap and gown why does she need a dress.

Well it took me back. I didn't have much of a family growing up because my mom died young and my dad was a very bu...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am having problems with my dry a tone of voice.once in awhile his Tone will be nasty or disrespectful. I call call him on it sometimes, sometimes Other people are around or its the wrong time or place. Should i just hand him his nastiness back or Say " that tone of voice is not acceptable behavior&q...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

So. Phew. It has been 2 months since I saw him last. Passed out on the floor, and 2 weeks since we talked and I left him. I kept my side of the road clean through it all, despite his trying to trigger me. I didn't react. Inside some days I was raging mad at how irrational and angry he behaved after we broke up, ov...

Gaby · Gaby

Today marks 4 days I have not heard from my son. I believe he sold his phone. I have not seek my son going on 4 weeks. I am trying to stay busy.. And praying. And believing and having faith that god will pull me through this and I know our god is with my son. But I do have to admit it hurts. I say over and over my son k...

Beeker · Beeker

Hi guys, I'm new to the board and to Al-Anon. I need some advice concerning my older brother, who is an alcoholic. Apparently he has had a problem for about 10 years and it has grown increasingly serious, with some particularly bad events happening this past December, but since he lives is a different...

mongowal · mongowal

I received divorce papers the other day, STBEX wants the divorce as soon as possible so he can come out with his relationship to the woman he had the affair with me on. Of course I'm hurt but trying at the same time to realize that this is my HP plan for me and it must be for my betterment. Since my STBEX h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know I was with him 15 years and he knows how to push my buttons like no one else, but I have gotten so good at not communicating with him and letting my 16 year old and him work out visitation through text, that I forget what a pain he can be. I will have been divorced 3 years this July and it has gotten easier e...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

It has been years that I have had an AH. He goes to meetings regularly and still relapses consistently. Just when I think he has sobriety like some of the AA members have had for many years, he is drinking again. I feel our marriage is being undermined steadily. After each bout, I usually feel depres...

Thoughtanya · Thoughtanya

I just typed a long long long email to my husband who drove home drunk again last night... The long email was beautifully written, with love... But it was about what I call boundaries... I sent it to him or I thought idid... Then I looked in my sent mail to re- read it... Not there!!!! Ahhhhh do you think thi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My Humility (Preview) My vocabulary has really grown these days. I use words like grateful, honesty, serenity, truth, courage, actually there are quite a few people i know with these names!!!! These words meant nothing to me before really. Living with the disease of alcoholism means there is no way these behaviours can b...	el-cee	11	631	May 29, 2014 by el-cee
	I lost it today (Preview) Today I had a parent teacher for my kids. They used to be all As students. 2 years ago, we moved because of AH's job. Their grades are continuously deteriorating. So the teachers were telling us they are not doing well. My AH was at the PT too. after that he commented that they are doing very badly. I told hi...	sunshine23	9	397	May 29, 2014 by el-cee
	he's TRYING and I'm angry...why? (Preview) So, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was done with my marriage. I am looking for jobs, looking for a rental house I can get this summer, I have a lawyer and the money put away for the retainer, I feel READY truly. I have not communicated verbally any of this to my AH although it had appeared that he was...	ilovedogs	7	477	May 29, 2014 by AlAnonPhuket
	Grief Loss Abandonmet (Preview) My life is completely insane and I know I am part to blame. My AH left 3 weeks ago to a 1/2 house. He told me after 2 weeks of not hearing from him that he is to pretend or act as if he is no longer married, he is not allowed to call home and can only talk to me for 2 minutes at a time. Finally he had me come visit this pa...	Flower49	2	533	May 29, 2014 by Flower49
	My a b/f has moved out (Preview) i had him leave my home,so he politely left,and I'm dieing inside and out literally,I'm all alone here in my big house.and yes I'm concerned about him if he is ok or not he is 52yrs old and has nobody.i just couldn't take it no more he had pushed me as far as I could go and I'm a bit scared cause the mess he said...	lookingup	6	429	May 29, 2014 by lookingup
	New and need help! (Preview) Hello! First, I want to apologize if I'm on the incorrect forum today. I'm new to this forum and I'm wanting to share my story and seek advice. I've been in and out of Alanon activity for about two years. I have read a lot of material and been to meetings. I have recently felt stronger about myself and not...	Afh	6	412	May 29, 2014 by Afh
	Grief (Preview) I have a 29-year-old daughter who is addicted to opioids. I believe she is on Suboxone at this time. About a week and a half ago, she came over. She had been living with her opioid addicted boyfriend (currently on methadone) in her car about two weeks before that. Our encounter was not positive at al...	robind78	7	565	May 29, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	A small request. (Preview) OK friends. I have a small request. On June 26th 2014 at 11:05am- Australian Eastern Standard time- I will be undertaking the probationary drivers license test. I'm sure everyone knows how important this is to me so, I was hoping I could ask everyone a little favour. If everyone could arrange to take...	missmeliss	18	630	May 28, 2014 by Jen61
	I'm just hurting .. (Preview) I miss my beautiful son. No word from him. I don't know and probably will not understand why this is happening. I keep faith and I will forever have hope. This is not like him to go on for do long not at least checking in to tell me something. I'm just hurting. I pray for peace and strength.. Can some one help m...	Gaby	12	469	May 28, 2014 by Ingwe
	AH keeps saying that everything is fine...but it's not (Preview) I just got back from getting my hair done. I had a blast even though it took 5 hours. I have a whole new look. Was looking forward to coming home and my AH was looking forward to seeing me, unfortunately It was more a matter of wishful thinking. I was looking forward to coming home, but now that I am here, I wan...	sadsusie	8	545	May 28, 2014 by Truth
	Relating to Bettina's honesty (Preview) So, since I was reading Bettina's ESH, I felt compelled to confess something that I'm dealing with in my own program walk. I have been having a bit of an infatuation with a friend from FB. He is actually a good friend of my sister's and lives in another state. I have met him in person a few times and was al...	ilovedogs	13	641	May 28, 2014 by Debilyn
	I think partially resolved .. (Preview) at least I'm out of it. I was able to find the cat a home with a co worker who lives on a farm. It will probably be hard on her because she will go to an outdoor kitty. It's better than the alternative which is a kill shelter. I'm very not happy with the STBAX at this point. He's just being an A .. I realize th...	SerenityRUS	1	319	May 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm ok (Preview) I haven't posted in a while things have not changed much I'm still focusing on me and trying to do good by me .. I'm living in the moment taking it one day at a time trying not to take things so QTIP and following my high power keeping to my side . Not putting any exspectations on me , trying to be good to myself a...	Wisdom67	6	344	May 28, 2014 by el-cee
	more good stuff (Preview) " When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Dissapointment, defeat and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." Coehlo	Beatrice	3	249	May 28, 2014 by el-cee
	I guess I should talk to you, all about this... (Preview) Well here goes...when I was in my senior year of HS, I met a boy I fell so in love with, we really loved eachother, we had the greatest time. We both had music in common and both won outstanding Music awards in our senior year. My singing career was going well and I had just signed a deal to do 3 musicals at Sa...	Beatrice	15	723	May 28, 2014 by el-cee
	A relationship of equality (Preview) I am so happy today. I know I deserve a relationship of equality. I know the only way to stop the cycle of abuse is to leave. I know I am not to blame for what was taught. I know abuse is a learned behavior. I know that holding people unaccountable for their actions is enabling. I know that secrets keep you sic...	Truth	3	397	May 28, 2014 by neshema2
	Aww, that's sweet: he shared his new book with me, LOL (Preview) So, I got home from walking the dog and I was complaining about how I had an audiobook that I really should have bought a hard copy of because I wanted to take better notes. But, I had free credits on audible and didn't want to waste them. So, AH says, "Oh, speaking of good reads. Here's one I finish...	ilovedogs	9	573	May 28, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	TRAPPED (Preview) I feel trapped...I know I am new here but I am really in a bad way right now. I have lived with this for so long now. I feel like i am in a position where I am unable to leave and that makes this worse. I have been living in Arkansas for about 7 years now...i have no family here and very few friends and of those t...	abba31	7	777	May 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Betrayal Bond (Preview) So I was reading a very interesting article today about a betrayal bond. It is so interesting because 30 years from know everything we thought we knew will change.	Truth	1	347	May 27, 2014 by neshema2
	Throwing tantrum (Preview) Tough day for me. From the people staying with AH now, he skipped work today. He broke some beer bottle and probably step on them so this morning there were bloody footprint around the living room. As much as I want to ask him how he is, I did not because he might think hurting himself is the way to get my atte...	sunshine23	6	541	May 27, 2014 by sunshine23
	Hello, Melly here :-) (Preview) Hey all. I deleted my account. Don't ask. I've been really ill for 10 days or so, lying in bed with a monster fever and questionable reasoning skills, stabbing blindly at my laptop occasionally in a futile attempt to communicate with the outside world and mostly just deleting stuff I needed and puttin...	missmeliss	13	582	May 27, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Now I wonder .. (Preview) Ok .. so I'm kind of working this out in my head and I guess I just need some validation for what I think I should do and what I want to do which is always a big jump .. I want to burn that dam truck .. I know I shouldn't .. LOL. So as I've posted it was a wild weekend in terms of the insanity that my STBAX THINKS he can...	SerenityRUS	5	364	May 27, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Want to learn how to not blame Learning to see the truth (Preview) I really want to learn how to see the truth, not just put all the blame on him so that I can be free of the self pity and the victim role. When he drinks all the normalcy of our lives goes out the window. Everything becomes a monumental problem for which I am always to blame. Today we had to come to the realizati...	Debb	10	619	May 27, 2014 by Debb
	Thoughts on the excuses (Preview) I've been watching episodes of a British TV show called "The Hoarder Next Door." It's on YouTube. It's very good in examining how people came to be hoarders (often losses in early life, coupled with becoming attached to objects as comfort). But the part that's most mind-boggling is th...	Mattie	8	508	May 27, 2014 by el-cee
	Apologizing to A (Preview) After calming down and processing the events that had happened, I realized my hands are not clean in failed marriage. It is like my AH hurting himself and I added salt to the injury. He is responsible for hurting himself but I made it more painful for everyone. On hindsight, I should have left earlier or...	sunshine23	11	407	May 27, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	MIP Site Hosting and Domain Reg. Funding Met! (Preview) A big thank you goes out to everyone who made a donation to help pay for 2 years coverage on our web hosting and domain address! The total donated in the past 48 hours is 323.52. 275.00 was needed to cover our web site hosting and domain name registration (12stepforums.net) for 2 years. This leaves us...	John	3	280	May 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	For El-cee,my recent life. What makes me need MIP (Preview) Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Elcee, I never being around an A and knowing anything about one, married my friend and lover of over twenty years. We also have a son. He was on a strong recovery plan, AA, lived it.Would not take an aspirin or drink juice even! We had a great time for almost 2 ye...	Debilyn	11	583	May 27, 2014 by milkwood
	The predictable alcoholic (Preview) The behaviours that come with addiction are a bit predictable and obvious to me, most tell lies, manipulate others using fear, pity, sympathy etc, most are verbally abusive, some are physically abusive, most are devious and cunning. The list could go on and on but most of the negative behaviours see...	el-cee	23	710	May 27, 2014 by el-cee
	Right now I'm insane, again! (Preview) Hi! I have posted here before and then I started regularly attending face to face meetings. I tried to do an online meeting this weekend but my wifi and iPhone weren't having that. :( My sponsor is having some health issues and I don't want to be a bother and I can't find the phone list. I'm having troubl...	HisMrsWright	5	442	May 26, 2014 by HisMrsWright
	Spouse went off the wagon after 9 years; what should I do? (Preview) My husband has been sober for 9 years. At that time things had gotten pretty bad, I threatened to leave, and it convinced him to do "rehab at home". It was very expensive, but worked. Recently he started drinking again. He has been going for 9 years and still to AA meetings once a week. He never...	AnneR	10	414	May 26, 2014 by AnneR
	Ohhh the irony .. (Preview) of a small town .. I'm seriously laughing so hard I am crying. I decided that I wanted to kind of put my toe in the water again of the dating stream I haven't had a first date in what .. 17 years I think it's been? I realize I'm not divorced yet .. I'm not looking for a hook up or even a long term boyfriend .. it w...	SerenityRUS	12	1686	May 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Find your own way to the ER.....again.. (Preview) I just sent my AH off to figure out a way for himself to get to the ER. This is the umpteenth time. He knows what happens when he does drugs. He is not my responsibility. I will not clean up after his messes. All he can think about is Guilt..He is in a pit of Guilt. Boy does that sound familiar, because I was the...	sadsusie	5	561	May 26, 2014 by el-cee
	I'm slow but I figure it out. (Preview) His money makeing is from illegal means ,my a bf.now how do I relate to him is my ?,without my blowing up at his behavior,he don't sleep or don't hardly sleep, ill,etc.he stays gone a lot...hugs ,looking up and I do think he is on it himself it's crystalmeth or ice is what my a bf finally told me after I staye...	lookingup	4	410	May 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Prayers for the recovery family here in town .. (Preview) I completely forgot to mention this and in one regard I hesitate to, on another it is the reality of what happens when someone goes back out and starts drinking/drugging again .. it's a big reality check on how powerful, cunning and baffling the disease is and the collateral damage that is left to deal w...	SerenityRUS	3	299	May 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	I firmly believe this (Preview) Growing up in a non dysfunctional family, no oxy moron either! (c: I know that accepting anyone being mean to you, hurting you, not listening, not caring is wrong for me. I know me, and phoniness is not part of me. You be mean to me, and I am gone, or that person is. Unless one comes back to apologize, I am don...	Debilyn	7	457	May 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Copyrighted material on MIP (Preview) We do have to be careful what we post on our mip board. Please make sure you check before you share things, that what you are sharing is ok'd by the author. It is illegal, in Al Anon and on mip we do not support illegal events even if they may never be found. We could lose our MIP, and John could be in trouble if w...	Debilyn	3	516	May 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	I'm ANGRY. (Preview) I'm so angry. I haven't posted on here in a while as I tried to spend less time online/meet with people face to face more but I'm ANGRY. I'm angry at my ex who is an alcoholic who stole money and cheated, and couldn't get it together. I know it's not about me..I know he has his demons and I can't take it person...	Forgiveness82	8	314	May 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	MIP Site Hosting and Domain needs your support (Preview) Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums is hosted by GoDaddy.com. Two years of web hosting cost 242.00. Our domain address (12stepforums.net) cost 33..00 for two years. Both are due for renewal at this time. Please consider helping us meet this expense by sending in a donation using the Do...	John	5	262	May 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	MIP Site Hosting and Domain needs your support (PS) (Preview) Hi everyone, Since posting the following post last night we have collected 170.00 in donations! I am hopeful that we can meet the full amount to secure our place in cyberspace for two years by the end of today. If you made a donation already, thank you ever so much, and if not, I hope you will consider it t...	John	5	294	May 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Alcoholics/addicts and Abusers (Preview) I am beginning to realize their is a difference between alcoholics/addicts and abusers. I am also beginning to realize that victims of domestic violence heal differently. I am beginning to see "red" flags of domestic violence in the rooms. These are the woman and men that appear out of co...	Truth	13	550	May 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Follow up to irony .. (Preview) Well, STBAX has the kids today. He offered to take our daughter for a haircut. Now this is after telling her he had no money and wouldn't until he'd been moved out and so on. I know him well enough to know he's thinking if he does this the judge will think he's a nice guy and he's going to lower the child s...	SerenityRUS	5	281	May 26, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Overly sensitive at offensive jokes? (Preview) TRIGGER WARNING...... link to image of addiction below So the wife of a very good friend of mine posted the following image on Facebook and I sort of lost it : I was so triggered that I blocked her. Well....truthfully first I mentioned that the picture was not funny as someone wh...	Caspita08	6	519	May 25, 2014 by Caspita08
	What is the saying.... (Preview) About the horse thief?	Truth	9	229	May 25, 2014 by hotrod
	I have to stop engaging in conversation with the A. He did something malicious :( (Preview) My AH decided to tear down an old wooden play structure in our backyard. My older children with my first husband helped him build it. They remember helping him and it meant a lot to them, even though the structure needed to be torn down. It had termites and was in bad shape. My AH mentioned tearing it down t...	Newlife girl	8	365	May 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	Using Fear Tactics to Control (Preview) I am beginning to understand the fear tactics the alcoholics/addicts in my life use to control the situation. They accuse you of judging them, they accuse you not letting them make mistakes, they accuse you that you are responsible for who they associate with. They recruit and get negative advocate...	Truth	9	630	May 25, 2014 by Truth
	Keeping cool (Preview) I just spoke to my relative whose functioning A (at least I think so) had a heart to heart talk with my AH in a bar (lol). Verdict is "you are asking for the impossible"( eyes rolling) "his job requires him to drink" (eyes continues to roll with blood pressure rising) and everyone t...	sunshine23	7	376	May 25, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Needing to express what I feel... (Preview) My morning started rough. I get a call from my sons daughters mom. I chose to not answer. This just tells me that my son has not been over there to see his daughter. I have not heard from my son for a week and have not seen him going on 4 weeks. I have to have to get my energy an my strenghth for what ever comes my wa...	Gaby	6	394	May 25, 2014 by Pamela1954
	Moving out, enabling and resentment (Preview) After I have moved out, AH also moved out after 10 days. Now I have two places to stay. Since I signed a 6 months lease, I am now responsible to pay this and my first house. my family members asked if I regretted moving out since I could have waited for 10 days and AH may moved by then. I actually feel that the ac...	sunshine23	11	619	May 25, 2014 by ssilver
	Sister's wedding is stirring things up (Preview) I had a falling out with my parents over a year ago and have not spoken to them since then. My sister got mad me over it without talking to me about what happened. I wanted so badly to talk to her about it for a few reasons. In 2008 we tried family counseling with my parents but my parents dropped out because th...	StargazerLily	21	726	May 24, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real (Preview) Gosh I have so much trouble with this statement. What if sometimes it is real evidence appearing real and your body is reacting naturally?	Truth	33	920	May 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Staying detach (Preview) I have moved out for 2 weeks. I know it is definitely the right decision. Beside moving, I also divided our savings after he hurled insults at me about leaving him broke. He told that to people who know about our situation. Every time he said such things about me, it will hurt and drive me insane. How coul...	sunshine23	6	519	May 24, 2014 by Debilyn
	Remembering my Graduation (Preview) Hi I have a friend who's daughter is graduating this next week and is all upset about having to get her daughter a new dress. Excuse.....she's wearing a cap and gown why does she need a dress. Well it took me back. I didn't have much of a family growing up because my mom died young and my dad was a very bu...	Cathyinaz	3	440	May 24, 2014 by PP
	Tone of voice (Preview) I am having problems with my dry a tone of voice.once in awhile his Tone will be nasty or disrespectful. I call call him on it sometimes, sometimes Other people are around or its the wrong time or place. Should i just hand him his nastiness back or Say " that tone of voice is not acceptable behavior&q...	Mirandac	10	513	May 24, 2014 by Mirandac
	Fear of exabf dying (Preview) So. Phew. It has been 2 months since I saw him last. Passed out on the floor, and 2 weeks since we talked and I left him. I kept my side of the road clean through it all, despite his trying to trigger me. I didn't react. Inside some days I was raging mad at how irrational and angry he behaved after we broke up, ov...	giraffe13	12	382	May 24, 2014 by el-cee
	Heart breaker.. Please help me stay sane.. (Preview) Today marks 4 days I have not heard from my son. I believe he sold his phone. I have not seek my son going on 4 weeks. I am trying to stay busy.. And praying. And believing and having faith that god will pull me through this and I know our god is with my son. But I do have to admit it hurts. I say over and over my son k...	Gaby	6	458	May 24, 2014 by el-cee
	Need advice on sharing information (Preview) Hi guys, I'm new to the board and to Al-Anon. I need some advice concerning my older brother, who is an alcoholic. Apparently he has had a problem for about 10 years and it has grown increasingly serious, with some particularly bad events happening this past December, but since he lives is a different...	Beeker	10	474	May 24, 2014 by PP
	Does the Lying ever end? (Preview) I received divorce papers the other day, STBEX wants the divorce as soon as possible so he can come out with his relationship to the woman he had the affair with me on. Of course I'm hurt but trying at the same time to realize that this is my HP plan for me and it must be for my betterment. Since my STBEX h...	mongowal	14	571	May 24, 2014 by sunshine23
	I let my exAH trigger me this morning (Preview) I know I was with him 15 years and he knows how to push my buttons like no one else, but I have gotten so good at not communicating with him and letting my 16 year old and him work out visitation through text, that I forget what a pain he can be. I will have been divorced 3 years this July and it has gotten easier e...	Breakingfree	10	622	May 24, 2014 by Breakingfree
	What do I do with anger? (Preview) It has been years that I have had an AH. He goes to meetings regularly and still relapses consistently. Just when I think he has sobriety like some of the AA members have had for many years, he is drinking again. I feel our marriage is being undermined steadily. After each bout, I usually feel depres...	wifeofalcoholic	8	580	May 24, 2014 by 1lostmom
	Question regarding boundaries (Preview) I just typed a long long long email to my husband who drove home drunk again last night... The long email was beautifully written, with love... But it was about what I call boundaries... I sent it to him or I thought idid... Then I looked in my sent mail to re- read it... Not there!!!! Ahhhhh do you think thi...	Thoughtanya	6	473	May 23, 2014 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.