The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i had him leave my home,so he politely left,and I'm dieing inside and out literally,I'm all alone here in my big house.and yes I'm concerned about him if he is ok or not he is 52yrs old and has nobody.i just couldn't take it no more he had pushed me as far as I could go and I'm a bit scared cause the mess he said he was in wasn't good at all I caught him out side in his truck at 1am putting something in bags and then on ph. Giveing a woman my address she came by and he gave it to her,and I confronted him and he finally told me that it was Ice I researched it to be a harder form of crystal meth and then he told me the day before that he was working way to hard i asked him what he was doing and omg" chopshop ,then next day he went to store right down the road to get gas for lawnmower and didn't get the gas jug stayed gone for 30mins when he got back I told him to leave my house so he did,I love him with all I had I finally gave into him after all these yrs of fighting it ,and boy did he ever blow it up ,I know it's for my own safety,I'm just trying to stay really busy but it seems like I'm just running in circles and getting nothing done,I'm exhausted! I have lots to do yet for my daughter and her husband and my g/sons will be here June 18 and I had planned for my a b/f to meet them for the 1st time and my daughter was finally alright with it. Ut oh well,here I am back to the start.im really concerned this time cause of his health and age and he has been hospitalized for siesures in the past yrs,where he don't take care of himself and his b/p goes skyhigh he won't take b/p meds for it.what am I doing,right now I'm greiveing foolhead off,I loved that man dearly,oh well I can scratch that off,I need a good cry,now I'm here all alone .thanx for letting me ramble on it feels like that's just what I need to do right now is talk about this over and over until lit all fizzles out of me .thanx for listening ,I do love each and everyone of y'all,and hot rod Betty I love hearing from you and I love you too,I love all my alanon freinds ,or family you all are my family for sure ,hugs you all know how much I love all your eshes.so pour them in.........hugs lookingup,
ANY breakup is a painful experience......he was an infected tooth that you needed extracted, but even so, you miss that rotten tooth b/c now you got this hole in your mouth that has to heal and once it starts, omg, you will be sooo glad you pulled that tooth......
I hope you dive into alanon, meetings, steps with a good sponsor or recovery mate and work the beejeebers out of your program so you don't get another loser b/c we coda's have the tendency to get the "fixer uppers" and the users, drinkers, abusers.......my coda is in remission only due to my diligence working my program, sharing an caring, reading, step work, self assessment, daily......
stay strong....you got rid of him and now its time to take care of you and the world and happiness awaits you...claim it!! you can w/program
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
LU: That took courage and strength to separate yourself from what is and will become an even more dangerous situation for you. He isn't taking care of his health by using those drugs and there is nothing you can say or do that will separate him from them. You will be able to entertain your family without fear of what he will do next living in your house. You are taking good care of yourself and looking out for your family, too. Yes, it hurts to end this relationship and it would hurt more if you stayed in it. I've been there and I wouldn't go there again with anybody for any reason. The drugs weren't as bad as what your x is into but the chemical dependency is the same and it draws more and more ugliness not only into the user's life but into the lives of those who allow them close. (((LU)))
Very courageous LU. I hope you can get to a meeting, f2f or online. Get connected with some other folks with similar experiences, it will help you get your head cleared.
Good move looking up. Sounds like he could have landed you both in prison. I'm not hearing any redeeming qualities in this guy over the couple of years you have posted about him. I also know you have kicked him out before. Before my 12 step work, I confused my feeling sorry for others and my neediness as love. I feel for you and your pain but question whether this was actually love. I personally had to redefine love completely because my definition kept hurting me and letting chaos and drama into my life. Good looking out for you even if it feels bad at this time. Also...it's been a lesson to me that there is only pain when trying harder to look after someone than they are interested in looking out for them self in healthy ways.
