It's hard that you feel so much pain! Your son is making his own decisions, also it is natural for them to pull away. Actually to have mom always there or them calling us may make them feel weak, especially men.

Its hard for us. I can tell  u my own son is working at the coast and has not contacted me. Has not responded to my texts for a week. I have to tell myself he is busy, tired working two hard construction jobs on his own. He needs me to take care of me.

For you its not just empty nest syndrome, yet it may be part of it.

All others can do is be with you, hug ya. Do you have friends you would invite and meet for lunch? I go to thrift shops and snoop. Everytime I go out I smile at kids and people.So people talk to me.

Do you have your church you could volunteer at? sisters and brothers to contact? I know  you love the Bible so remember it does say to go to the elders etc to get council and support.

Do you have a sponsor? Also there is nothing wrong with going to a counselor. There are counselors who are from churches.

I know if I am planting flowers, painting my house in and out, grooming my dogs, on facebook gabbing with people, I feel better. People make me feel better. Especially when we give to others it helps our whole self and them.

He knows you love him  Gaby. He knows if he gets in too deep he can trust you are ok and there. That is all we can give them!

With my son I think how much he does love me, and I feel better. He has his own life.

Are you getting enough love from others? Its ok to ask for hugs and ask if they would just listen and they do not have to fix anything.

we do not know if he sold his phone. that is the fear thing.

For me it helps me to make my environment as clean and happy as I can. I wake  up sometimes having had some awful dreams. I have to say outloud,"I choose to be happy today." well as long as I feel serene I am ok.

waiting is going to kill  you. maybe it is more allowing our kids to be who they are and all that really matters is we love them.hugs Gaby.

When I was in the worse of letting go I posted here a lot and got the ESH I needed. You can do this too just like now. We know what your going through and it hurts deeply. Just two short months ago my son didn't contact me when he left his fathers place drunk. I was worried and prayed he would either be picked up or got somewhere safe. I was sure he would call. This was a Thursday evening. When Tuesday came alone and I still didn't hear from him I went online and found him at the Yavapai County Jail. God called the police for me and found him. He is safe and I'm grateful for that. He will pay for the choices he made and I can keep praying he will learn by them.

I also learned that no news was good news...at least this is the way I had to think to keep sane. I did a lot of reading, meetings and help from a counselor. When something did happen over the last 5 years I always found he got help somehow someway.

I will keep him in my prayers that he will let his mom know once in a while he is OK and not let you worry.

Keep coming back because you are not alone.

((( hugs )))

Gaby: I've known a lot of young people like your son for a good long time. I can tell you they aren't suffering to the degree others think they might be. If they were, there are places they can go to get help. I've noticed that those who tend to be "unable to find help" don't want to make any changes or follow any rules. They just want to do what they do until they're tired of trying to do everything their way and the hard way. Nobody can reach anybody who doesn't want to be reached and few are ever truly alone. When we step back, others step in and sometimes those others have a better chance of getting somewhere with our kids than we are.

One of the things I remember from a reader has to do with trusting that our lives are enfolding as they are meant to do that helps me relax. Another helpful page reminds me that I will know what I need to know without any effort on my part. Asking myself whose business am I in - mine, God's or another person's, also helps me focus on myself, on the day, and what is the next right thing for me to do to accomplish something that is mine to do. Sometimes, what is mine to do is to go for a foot massage, put on some favorite music, or eat a meal that I have cooked especially for me.