Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie2 · maresie2

The more I pull away from the A the better I am able to discern who can and can't meet my needs. I live in an insane household where everyone is afraid, enmeshed and every single day is total chaos and confusion. There is abolutley no doubt for me that there is no one there who can meet my needs. This situatio...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I found this recently and felt it warrented sharing, I hope you find it as helpful on this subject as I have. Barb *To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else. *To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off. It's the realization I can't control anothe...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, My rent is going up $90 per month, gas prices have risen, and my daughter needs glasses. I will be applying for a 2nd job down the road. I am hoping the manager will allow me to bring my 10 year old to work with me. There's only one way for me to find out, and that is to ask. As things are going, I have...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My holiday was good, we had lots of pies and junk as that was what each child chose to have LOL. We watched lots of movies, and went out to see Enchanted. I worked several days and made extra money and we enjoyed that at the theater and having lunch before. Got free pics of the kids with Santa at walmart. ...

maire rua · maire rua

Yes, the lady got the job and rang me to give me some interview tips this morning, I stayed calm and congratulated her and told her I was on holidays and needed to go, grrrh, grrh, grrh, thank you all, I needed to do that, still delighted I went for interview and did not get intimidated out of it,

kissers · kissers

I found this online: I can be a winner. I am the best friend I have. I have solved problems like this before. I have the ability to handle this. I am a capable human being. I deserve to love and to be loved. I am a skillful and artistic person. I can show others a good example. Letting go is best for them and for m...

chick29 · chick29

Well just got back from the wedding that I went to with my A but we are currently having space, I really hope its not permanantley! I first turned up and we were genuinley pleased to see each other, he told me how nice I looked and he was so smart in his morning suit. It was hard day for both of us, in the sense of...

chick29 · chick29

Having carried on posting which is the good thing I hope, please refer to my last post on the original that is my response, I just think of this a forum as a circle I hope we all continue to meet each other in our needs. looking back perhaps my response sounds angry, but its honest i wish i could get to a ftf jus...

chick29 · chick29

Well where do I start if I were to right down everything wrong my alcohlic boyf has done over the past four years people would think I was absolutley insane to have stayed but the truth is that sometimes it actually feels like it hurts more to actually sit with splitting up and him not being there than to pu...

HopeinVA · HopeinVA

Hello, I just found this site last night after doing some searches on AA in an effort to help my H. I had never heard of al anon before so that's how new I am to all of this. My H of 12 years I fear is an A. We have 3 small children. He never drinks at home it is always at the local bars. I also feel he suffers fr...

Allie · Allie

I have some? I would like to ask?What gives a addict the right to give some body a choice they have to make? The way I look at it is for how long did we beg and plea for them to stop using or go for help? They think they have the right to bark orders at every one. I understand fully that they are sick but they are all...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Hi everyone! Some of you might know about the evil eye- it's basically the wrath incurred from envy. I think it's like a supernatural superstition where if you have something good, you might make other people jealous, and that jealousy turns into bad vibes that eventually make something bad happen....

maresie2 · maresie2

When I was with the A one of my huge huge fears was that when I wa sout on my own I would not be able to make it financially. Of course I had some idea of how hard it will be. I have been on a contract job for a few months now. I am pretty certain this contract will not last more than another 2 months. That is good and b...

maresie · maresie

When it came to recovery from child abuse issues I did a geographic. I did not see or talk to my family of origin for more than 10 years. Then I briefly very briefly for a year or two interaced with my mother before she died. That interaction was very very distant. I thought I had put all my child abuse stuff...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

so much sadness. So much grieving...I just met for a few hours with my A today for the first time in several months. We have not lived together for 2 years but I moved to a distant place so we see each other quite rarely. We have been trying to work on things thru email, phone, etc. but its just been a giant fai...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

This subject came up at a meeting this week and the question was asked "How do you meditate?" I would love to hear how the rest of you meditate, what processes do you go through to get there? Thanks Barb

ddub · ddub

ok, so holiday weekends can be every emotion and I am so full of so many emotions it has made me weepy. At times it is good to have extra people around and at times we look forward to the regular daily routine. It is time for me to focus on one thing, one day or one moment at a time. Change is constant which in...

norwood · norwood

Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone Fallen out like s...

omajoy · omajoy

About all I can say about Thanksgiving is "thank God it is over"....now on to the next holiday. I maintained my resolve to not allow anyone or anything to create chaos on Thanksgiving; that was successful. We had a quiet day with my spouse . Our son came for a simple meal and we all managed to c...

afmom03 · afmom03

Happy Thanksgiving All! I'm actually just getting off the phone with my AH as I type this and dang near ready to cry because I'm not there with him. We've been separated almost 11 months now...(I left him)...and I thought I would be happy to be spending it "My Way&quo...

debilyn · debilyn

Tis my grandson,Sprout. His given name is Noah Orion. His moms name is Raini Spring. Sadly his dad is A. Thankfully I had many years of MIP to be able to guide Rain when she asked me for help. Now our Sprout is safe,sees his Daddy safely. And Rain knows to look for red flags. I am grateful to MIP becuz I looked...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, went for a major job interview today, did well, only problem is knew the job was gone before I went for it. Nine candidates were called and the lady in the job whom I am acquainted with was well able to let me know all the ins and outs. I have met her three times since yesterday and eventually I was sick...

Diva · Diva

A couple of replies to a post have been directed more at my response than the original poster. Why would that be? I'll tell you. When a poster writes that the A bf is abusing her both mentally and physically, I am not going to say, "Go to AlAnon meetings so that you can acquire the tools you need to make...

chick29 · chick29

When I first met my alcoholic, I very quickly realised it was too much too bear and sought out help, that how I found al anon a lady who later became a good friend rang me up and later met me and took me to my first ftf meeting. If I'mhonest I played at it and the programm, it was handy I always got a lift and at the...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi All, So yesterday was my first holiday without my ah in over 20 yrs, and it wasn't so bad. The hardest part was when he showed up right before we were to leave (to drop off item requested by son) and started playing football with the kids. I could tell he was sad and was stalling. Earlier in the day he had...

serendipity · serendipity

I had thought that I would be spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids. No big deal, I was ok with the whole idea. I threw out an offer to a friend in the program. They accepted and we had such an awsome time. It was so nice to be with people who had no hidden agenda, no need to put down or gossip, no negativity...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I spent thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and my niece and nephew (both adults) and my mom and some neighbor friends of my sister....it was all very delicious and lovely but let me tell you, I was not really there at all. I feel like I slipped- not the bawling my head off because I set myself up aga...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Thank you all for your ESH re: my problems with my sponsor. It really kicked me in the ass (which I needed). I called her and we talked for quite a while. We are now on a weekly check-in schedule to talk each Thurs regardless if anything is "going on" for me or not. I feel much much much better. tha...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Does this mean that in another 7 days it will have been 21 and the squeezing sensation in my chest will go away and I'll feel like I can get a deep breath finally? You know someone told me last night that the actual physical addiction / brain receptors for nicotine go away after 3 days and the rest is just h...

John · John

I got over 500 replies regarding the Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery House Video. Your comments suggestions, questions and opinions were fabulous and surely encouraged me and will help me with polishing it up a bit as I move forward with this endeavor. Many, many thanks to those who are p...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Dear Friends)))) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Well today was a short work day for me as I work in retail. The A was up early this morning and by the time I left for work at 8:00AM he was drunk. This has become a matter of course for thanksgiving, so I wasn't too surprised. I was at peace all day...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake. -Ta-sui I know many of us will be with family in the upcoming weeks, and on today. There is a temptation to take their inventory, now that we have "seen the light and found the path." I have found, a...

kissers · kissers

I found this online after looking for codependency recovery information. http://www.coloringtherapy.com/ There are free mandalas online if you google them.

kissers · kissers

My Child Within I found my child within today, For many years so locked away, Loving, embracing, needing so much, If only I could reach in and touch. I did not know this child of mine, We were never acquainted at three or nine, But today I felt the crying inside, I'm here I shouted, come reside. We hugged ea...

izzymom · izzymom

I have been visiting here infrequently, unfortunately, but am happy to say my son has been clean and sober for a year now, married, and just opened a business. I feel with the intervention I saved my son's life. In return, I would like to send cards and gifts to the men in the house. How do I do this?

Becky1 · Becky1

My daughter is expecting, and we weren't expecting the baby until Mid-December, but she is having the labor induced Tuesday morning. Whew. Serenity prayer needed! LOL I am just in shock, lots to do before then.......daughter is doing well, they are just concerned the baby isn't growing fast eno...

jeannie024 · jeannie024

hi everyone its been a long time since ive been on i sort of gave up things have been awfull my son was framed for a murder on 17th dec 2005 he got a life sentance last year of 15 and half years, we now have a new legal team for him hoping to get an appeal or re trial my daughter tried to take her own life my brother...

Hopeless in AZ · Hopeless in AZ

I posted the other day about my mom leaving my A dad after almost 30 years of marriage. What I didn't say was that a few months prior to my mom leaving him I had attended an Al-Anon group that I wanted my mom to attend as well. I gave her some literature to it along with some group phone numbers etc. Well sh...

ddub · ddub

Been quite a week yet at this moment I feel quite calm and breathing alot to slogans so I don't get anxious about what if's during the holiday hoopla. It takes a lot of focus for me to stay on one day at a time or like I read in another post, one task at a time. I also have been thinking about this: "Pos...

debilyn · debilyn

A few years back my very brain damaged A used some wrestling thing on me and threw me to the ground. Hurt my shoulders and knees. Now the knee has weakened to the point I have torn my meniscus. My tail bone is cracked, my foot is tore up and my shoulders are so painful. Then we he the carpal tunnel in the right h...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. I know there are lots of families who are traveling, may your journey be safe. May your loved ones arrive safely. To those of you who have family and friends serving in the military...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))))), A very good Sunday morning to you all. I wanted to share with you something that happened this past week. As you can probably tell from the title, hubby did indeed relapse again a couple of weeks ago. Well last Sunday while I was getting ready for work I found a bottle underne...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am going to have the kids pick two items each that they want to have and then make all of them. We are going to put up the new fake xmas tree :) and I'll be working wed and fri night and all day sat. Perhaps some shopping friday? But I swore I wouldn't buy a thing till dec. 1. Definitely shopping for food to...

klm4446 · klm4446

I've read some other posts mentioning their A's pot or "drug" use. Now that he's gone, my A's parents say "Oh, the pot was no big deal, it was the alcohol that killed him" Before my A's accident and relapse, he rationalized to me that pot was "better than drinking"...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I look back through my time with the A there were many many times including this summer where I totally wore myself down to nothing rescuing him. Rescue is a huge motif for me in my life. I regualrly go in for this large scale assaults to help others leaving myself devastated. As you all well know si...

debilyn · debilyn

Here it is in the am. Responding to emails some things have come into my pea brain If my giant Siamesey ragdoll kitten,Fizz, will stop trying to sleep on my parrot,Reeba's stand, I may be able to get some thoughts out! Fizz jumps on cage,Ree flies and lands on my chest,goes under my covers and either che...

kissers · kissers

I had told my now ex that I did not want him calling me names. His response was, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Again, the blame was placed on me. He told me I was lousy in bed. He didn't care about me at all and I think this is what hurts the most. Did he even care about me a little bit???? Ju...

gardengal · gardengal

I often wonder other than than the obvious reprocussions from living with an A, if other things seem to manifest themselves? This may sound silly however, I find it very difficult to finish a task that I am doing. I find myself wandering off and starting something else, thus everything is half a$$ed. F...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

How do you keep the focus on your self and still be in a marriage? This is my main question these days. I have been separated from my AH for 2 years so that each of us can exclusively focus on ourselves. We are now looking at easing back into a life of living together in around 6 months. I know there are no clear...

tenacious · tenacious

Why isn't this getting easier? After a long hard weekend in which promises were broken and boundaries were set (see previous post, "scared of running out of compassion") I am feeling tender and bruised and unsure how to act around A. He is entering rehab which is great but I am worried I d...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Im terrified of the Holidays.I know my A H is going to binge the entire time.Oh he may not be drunk in the am,but by 12n he will be lit like a Christmas tree.Sometimes he doesnt wait till noon.Sometimes he just sleeps it off from the night before ,and starts all over again.Im afraid that he will be drunk on T...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I have a question? Does the diesease of alcohol seem to rob the alcoholics self-drive and motivation to suceed? Does it seem like they do what they have to do just to get by and nothing more??? My son works at a part-time job as a busser making minimum wage. He rents a room from some guy. Barely ma...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am up for an inerview tomorrow for another job. I really really really really need benefits and more than that I need to be able to take a break. As it is I will not be paid fot the Thanksgiving holiday or for a week and a half over Christmas. If I can get this job I will be in a much much much much better place. F...

omajoy · omajoy

Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went: Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I don't know why the holidays have to be so particularly difficult, I remember last year I felt sooo guilty that I didn't want the A to come over. For those of you who remember, he was extorting me with signing the papers on the house. It was hell, I didn't invite him for our son's birthday party and Chris...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I was wondering what the purpose of a sponsor is? Is it for when a crisis arises you have someone to talk to? Is it a commitment where you have to call every day or once a week? Please explain? Thanks, Roxygirl5

tenacious · tenacious

Hello everyone, well the latest in my life is the my A boyfriend has broken trust blatantly two nights in a row. This comes at the end of a string of incidents and I am rubbed raw, emotionally and physically (battling the same low-level flu forever). Last night I had a lot of tears and bf responded by fir...

souljoy · souljoy

My mom used to spout of this Alanon slogan long ago when I would talk to her. I got pretty tired of the "lessons". But I knew deep down she had wisdom so I filed the things she said in my mind and went on with my life. Now it's eight years later and I'm in Alanon and trying to get my life back together...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

A question for those of you with A's that have established a successful long-term recovery (5+ years?) and forgive me if I sound naive. After years of successful recovery with your A, do you still keep your guard up, work your program, and take nothing at face value? In other words, does the Al-Anon a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	meeting my needs (Preview) The more I pull away from the A the better I am able to discern who can and can't meet my needs. I live in an insane household where everyone is afraid, enmeshed and every single day is total chaos and confusion. There is abolutley no doubt for me that there is no one there who can meet my needs. This situatio...	maresie2	4	385	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	Letting Go (Preview) I found this recently and felt it warrented sharing, I hope you find it as helpful on this subject as I have. Barb To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off. It's the realization I can't control anothe...	Mobirdie	7	532	Nov 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	Applying for a 2nd job tomorrow (Preview) Hi everyone, My rent is going up $90 per month, gas prices have risen, and my daughter needs glasses. I will be applying for a 2nd job down the road. I am hoping the manager will allow me to bring my 10 year old to work with me. There's only one way for me to find out, and that is to ask. As things are going, I have...	kissers	4	359	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	Update (Preview) My holiday was good, we had lots of pies and junk as that was what each child chose to have LOL. We watched lots of movies, and went out to see Enchanted. I worked several days and made extra money and we enjoyed that at the theater and having lunch before. Got free pics of the kids with Santa at walmart. ...	carolinagirl	5	486	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	job interview result (Preview) Yes, the lady got the job and rang me to give me some interview tips this morning, I stayed calm and congratulated her and told her I was on holidays and needed to go, grrrh, grrh, grrh, thank you all, I needed to do that, still delighted I went for interview and did not get intimidated out of it,	maire rua	7	422	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	Positive Affirmations (Preview) I found this online: I can be a winner. I am the best friend I have. I have solved problems like this before. I have the ability to handle this. I am a capable human being. I deserve to love and to be loved. I am a skillful and artistic person. I can show others a good example. Letting go is best for them and for m...	kissers	4	4731	Nov 26, 2007 by cookie1971
	Cant put a name to a topic (Preview) Well just got back from the wedding that I went to with my A but we are currently having space, I really hope its not permanantley! I first turned up and we were genuinley pleased to see each other, he told me how nice I looked and he was so smart in his morning suit. It was hard day for both of us, in the sense of...	chick29	3	534	Nov 26, 2007 by maresie2
	My original post insane and obsessional thinking (Preview) Having carried on posting which is the good thing I hope, please refer to my last post on the original that is my response, I just think of this a forum as a circle I hope we all continue to meet each other in our needs. looking back perhaps my response sounds angry, but its honest i wish i could get to a ftf jus...	chick29	7	788	Nov 26, 2007 by maresie2
	Insane obsessional thinking (Preview) Well where do I start if I were to right down everything wrong my alcohlic boyf has done over the past four years people would think I was absolutley insane to have stayed but the truth is that sometimes it actually feels like it hurts more to actually sit with splitting up and him not being there than to pu...	chick29	13	890	Nov 26, 2007 by maresie2
	New to all of this, to stay or to go?? (Preview) Hello, I just found this site last night after doing some searches on AA in an effort to help my H. I had never heard of al anon before so that's how new I am to all of this. My H of 12 years I fear is an A. We have 3 small children. He never drinks at home it is always at the local bars. I also feel he suffers fr...	HopeinVA	10	868	Nov 26, 2007 by maire rua
	Who do they think they are? (Preview) I have some? I would like to ask?What gives a addict the right to give some body a choice they have to make? The way I look at it is for how long did we beg and plea for them to stop using or go for help? They think they have the right to bark orders at every one. I understand fully that they are sick but they are all...	Allie	2	523	Nov 26, 2007 by Mandy123
	The Evil Eye (Preview) Hi everyone! Some of you might know about the evil eye- it's basically the wrath incurred from envy. I think it's like a supernatural superstition where if you have something good, you might make other people jealous, and that jealousy turns into bad vibes that eventually make something bad happen....	RainyJamie	7	781	Nov 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	moving on mixed bag (Preview) When I was with the A one of my huge huge fears was that when I wa sout on my own I would not be able to make it financially. Of course I had some idea of how hard it will be. I have been on a contract job for a few months now. I am pretty certain this contract will not last more than another 2 months. That is good and b...	maresie2	4	454	Nov 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	HP has a sense of humor (Preview) When it came to recovery from child abuse issues I did a geographic. I did not see or talk to my family of origin for more than 10 years. Then I briefly very briefly for a year or two interaced with my mother before she died. That interaction was very very distant. I thought I had put all my child abuse stuff...	maresie	5	557	Nov 26, 2007 by maire rua
	vent (Preview) so much sadness. So much grieving...I just met for a few hours with my A today for the first time in several months. We have not lived together for 2 years but I moved to a distant place so we see each other quite rarely. We have been trying to work on things thru email, phone, etc. but its just been a giant fai...	Jean4444	7	472	Nov 26, 2007 by maire rua
	Meditation (Preview) This subject came up at a meeting this week and the question was asked "How do you meditate?" I would love to hear how the rest of you meditate, what processes do you go through to get there? Thanks Barb	Mobirdie	6	402	Nov 26, 2007 by Jerry F
	one day at a time (Preview) ok, so holiday weekends can be every emotion and I am so full of so many emotions it has made me weepy. At times it is good to have extra people around and at times we look forward to the regular daily routine. It is time for me to focus on one thing, one day or one moment at a time. Change is constant which in...	ddub	5	397	Nov 25, 2007 by nmike
	detaching with love (Preview) Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone Fallen out like s...	norwood	1	375	Nov 24, 2007 by nmike
	Thanks for being over (Preview) About all I can say about Thanksgiving is "thank God it is over"....now on to the next holiday. I maintained my resolve to not allow anyone or anything to create chaos on Thanksgiving; that was successful. We had a quiet day with my spouse . Our son came for a simple meal and we all managed to c...	omajoy	3	500	Nov 24, 2007 by nmike
	My First Holiday Alone (Preview) Happy Thanksgiving All! I'm actually just getting off the phone with my AH as I type this and dang near ready to cry because I'm not there with him. We've been separated almost 11 months now...(I left him)...and I thought I would be happy to be spending it "My Way&quo...	afmom03	4	1031	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	ps, the baby (Preview) Tis my grandson,Sprout. His given name is Noah Orion. His moms name is Raini Spring. Sadly his dad is A. Thankfully I had many years of MIP to be able to guide Rain when she asked me for help. Now our Sprout is safe,sees his Daddy safely. And Rain knows to look for red flags. I am grateful to MIP becuz I looked...	debilyn	4	319	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	job interview need to vent (Preview) Hi All, went for a major job interview today, did well, only problem is knew the job was gone before I went for it. Nine candidates were called and the lady in the job whom I am acquainted with was well able to let me know all the ins and outs. I have met her three times since yesterday and eventually I was sick...	maire rua	3	492	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	My two cents. (closed) (Preview) A couple of replies to a post have been directed more at my response than the original poster. Why would that be? I'll tell you. When a poster writes that the A bf is abusing her both mentally and physically, I am not going to say, "Go to AlAnon meetings so that you can acquire the tools you need to make...	Diva	19	922	Nov 24, 2007 by tea2
	weddings and al anon (Preview) When I first met my alcoholic, I very quickly realised it was too much too bear and sought out help, that how I found al anon a lady who later became a good friend rang me up and later met me and took me to my first ftf meeting. If I'mhonest I played at it and the programm, it was handy I always got a lift and at the...	chick29	3	523	Nov 24, 2007 by Karilynn
	Post-holiday thoughts (Preview) Hi All, So yesterday was my first holiday without my ah in over 20 yrs, and it wasn't so bad. The hardest part was when he showed up right before we were to leave (to drop off item requested by son) and started playing football with the kids. I could tell he was sad and was stalling. Earlier in the day he had...	Loupiness	4	428	Nov 24, 2007 by debilyn
	I love this program (Preview) I had thought that I would be spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids. No big deal, I was ok with the whole idea. I threw out an offer to a friend in the program. They accepted and we had such an awsome time. It was so nice to be with people who had no hidden agenda, no need to put down or gossip, no negativity...	serendipity	3	368	Nov 23, 2007 by nmike
	thank you for reading (Preview) I spent thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and my niece and nephew (both adults) and my mom and some neighbor friends of my sister....it was all very delicious and lovely but let me tell you, I was not really there at all. I feel like I slipped- not the bawling my head off because I set myself up aga...	Jean4444	3	534	Nov 23, 2007 by nmike
	I talked to my sponsor (Preview) Thank you all for your ESH re: my problems with my sponsor. It really kicked me in the ass (which I needed). I called her and we talked for quite a while. We are now on a weekly check-in schedule to talk each Thurs regardless if anything is "going on" for me or not. I feel much much much better. tha...	Jean4444	0	268	Nov 23, 2007 by Jean4444
	It's been 2 weeks!! (Preview) Does this mean that in another 7 days it will have been 21 and the squeezing sensation in my chest will go away and I'll feel like I can get a deep breath finally? You know someone told me last night that the actual physical addiction / brain receptors for nicotine go away after 3 days and the rest is just h...	carolinagirl	2	307	Nov 23, 2007 by QOD
	Video Input was appreciated (Please Read) (Preview) I got over 500 replies regarding the Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery House Video. Your comments suggestions, questions and opinions were fabulous and surely encouraged me and will help me with polishing it up a bit as I move forward with this endeavor. Many, many thanks to those who are p...	John	3	533	Nov 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	THE SAME OLD STORY---WITH A TWIST (Preview) (((((Dear Friends)))) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Well today was a short work day for me as I work in retail. The A was up early this morning and by the time I left for work at 8:00AM he was drunk. This has become a matter of course for thanksgiving, so I wasn't too surprised. I was at peace all day...	cookie1971	2	695	Nov 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	"Let it begin with me" (Preview) As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake. -Ta-sui I know many of us will be with family in the upcoming weeks, and on today. There is a temptation to take their inventory, now that we have "seen the light and found the path." I have found, a...	Tiger2006	3	1189	Nov 22, 2007 by cookie1971
	Coloring Therapy (Preview) I found this online after looking for codependency recovery information. http://www.coloringtherapy.com/ There are free mandalas online if you google them.	kissers	6	469	Nov 22, 2007 by kissers
	My Child Within (Preview) My Child Within I found my child within today, For many years so locked away, Loving, embracing, needing so much, If only I could reach in and touch. I did not know this child of mine, We were never acquainted at three or nine, But today I felt the crying inside, I'm here I shouted, come reside. We hugged ea...	kissers	3	532	Nov 22, 2007 by Jen
	where to sends cards and gifts to john and men. (Preview) I have been visiting here infrequently, unfortunately, but am happy to say my son has been clean and sober for a year now, married, and just opened a business. I feel with the intervention I saved my son's life. In return, I would like to send cards and gifts to the men in the house. How do I do this?	izzymom	2	457	Nov 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	Grandbaby to Arrive Tuesday! (Preview) My daughter is expecting, and we weren't expecting the baby until Mid-December, but she is having the labor induced Tuesday morning. Whew. Serenity prayer needed! LOL I am just in shock, lots to do before then.......daughter is doing well, they are just concerned the baby isn't growing fast eno...	Becky1	3	474	Nov 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	hi everyone (Preview) hi everyone its been a long time since ive been on i sort of gave up things have been awfull my son was framed for a murder on 17th dec 2005 he got a life sentance last year of 15 and half years, we now have a new legal team for him hoping to get an appeal or re trial my daughter tried to take her own life my brother...	jeannie024	5	413	Nov 22, 2007 by cookie1971
	How is Al-Anon viewed by the A? (Preview) I posted the other day about my mom leaving my A dad after almost 30 years of marriage. What I didn't say was that a few months prior to my mom leaving him I had attended an Al-Anon group that I wanted my mom to attend as well. I gave her some literature to it along with some group phone numbers etc. Well sh...	Hopeless in AZ	18	913	Nov 21, 2007 by cookie1971
	just wondering...... (Preview) Been quite a week yet at this moment I feel quite calm and breathing alot to slogans so I don't get anxious about what if's during the holiday hoopla. It takes a lot of focus for me to stay on one day at a time or like I read in another post, one task at a time. I also have been thinking about this: "Pos...	ddub	3	504	Nov 21, 2007 by lin0606
	quick update )c: (Preview) A few years back my very brain damaged A used some wrestling thing on me and threw me to the ground. Hurt my shoulders and knees. Now the knee has weakened to the point I have torn my meniscus. My tail bone is cracked, my foot is tore up and my shoulders are so painful. Then we he the carpal tunnel in the right h...	debilyn	4	485	Nov 21, 2007 by nmike
	HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. I know there are lots of families who are traveling, may your journey be safe. May your loved ones arrive safely. To those of you who have family and friends serving in the military...	Karilynn	3	317	Nov 21, 2007 by david62
	Relapse + Honesty = Serenity? (long) (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))), A very good Sunday morning to you all. I wanted to share with you something that happened this past week. As you can probably tell from the title, hubby did indeed relapse again a couple of weeks ago. Well last Sunday while I was getting ready for work I found a bottle underne...	Karilynn	14	845	Nov 21, 2007 by Becky1
	How will you be spending the holiday? (Preview) I am going to have the kids pick two items each that they want to have and then make all of them. We are going to put up the new fake xmas tree :) and I'll be working wed and fri night and all day sat. Perhaps some shopping friday? But I swore I wouldn't buy a thing till dec. 1. Definitely shopping for food to...	carolinagirl	7	466	Nov 21, 2007 by artygirl
	pot/pill use vs. alcohol (Preview) I've read some other posts mentioning their A's pot or "drug" use. Now that he's gone, my A's parents say "Oh, the pot was no big deal, it was the alcohol that killed him" Before my A's accident and relapse, he rationalized to me that pot was "better than drinking"...	klm4446	5	506	Nov 21, 2007 by canadianguy
	not picking up the wounded birdy (Preview) When I look back through my time with the A there were many many times including this summer where I totally wore myself down to nothing rescuing him. Rescue is a huge motif for me in my life. I regualrly go in for this large scale assaults to help others leaving myself devastated. As you all well know si...	maresie2	8	646	Nov 21, 2007 by maresie2
	(c: observations from an old timer (Preview) Here it is in the am. Responding to emails some things have come into my pea brain If my giant Siamesey ragdoll kitten,Fizz, will stop trying to sleep on my parrot,Reeba's stand, I may be able to get some thoughts out! Fizz jumps on cage,Ree flies and lands on my chest,goes under my covers and either che...	debilyn	3	605	Nov 21, 2007 by maresie2
	It just dawned on me... (Preview) I had told my now ex that I did not want him calling me names. His response was, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Again, the blame was placed on me. He told me I was lousy in bed. He didn't care about me at all and I think this is what hurts the most. Did he even care about me a little bit???? Ju...	kissers	5	603	Nov 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Is it just me or do others do this as well? (Preview) I often wonder other than than the obvious reprocussions from living with an A, if other things seem to manifest themselves? This may sound silly however, I find it very difficult to finish a task that I am doing. I find myself wandering off and starting something else, thus everything is half a$$ed. F...	gardengal	8	662	Nov 21, 2007 by gardengal
	Being married yet staying focused on myself/working my program/taking care of myself first. (Preview) How do you keep the focus on your self and still be in a marriage? This is my main question these days. I have been separated from my AH for 2 years so that each of us can exclusively focus on ourselves. We are now looking at easing back into a life of living together in around 6 months. I know there are no clear...	Jean4444	7	500	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	Feeling pressured to make a decision by A (Preview) Why isn't this getting easier? After a long hard weekend in which promises were broken and boundaries were set (see previous post, "scared of running out of compassion") I am feeling tender and bruised and unsure how to act around A. He is entering rehab which is great but I am worried I d...	tenacious	7	569	Nov 20, 2007 by stormie
	THE " HAPPY HOLIDAYS" ARENT AT MY HOUSE (Preview) Im terrified of the Holidays.I know my A H is going to binge the entire time.Oh he may not be drunk in the am,but by 12n he will be lit like a Christmas tree.Sometimes he doesnt wait till noon.Sometimes he just sleeps it off from the night before ,and starts all over again.Im afraid that he will be drunk on T...	MIDGET	7	904	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	QUICK QUESTION??? (Preview) Hi, I have a question? Does the diesease of alcohol seem to rob the alcoholics self-drive and motivation to suceed? Does it seem like they do what they have to do just to get by and nothing more??? My son works at a part-time job as a busser making minimum wage. He rents a room from some guy. Barely ma...	roxygirl5	6	707	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	prayers please in this moring on process (Preview) I am up for an inerview tomorrow for another job. I really really really really need benefits and more than that I need to be able to take a break. As it is I will not be paid fot the Thanksgiving holiday or for a week and a half over Christmas. If I can get this job I will be in a much much much much better place. F...	maresie2	11	638	Nov 20, 2007 by Jean4444
	typical behavior! (Preview) Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went: Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during th...	omajoy	5	520	Nov 20, 2007 by Leetle
	Why are the holidays so difficult? (Preview) I don't know why the holidays have to be so particularly difficult, I remember last year I felt sooo guilty that I didn't want the A to come over. For those of you who remember, he was extorting me with signing the papers on the house. It was hell, I didn't invite him for our son's birthday party and Chris...	carolinagirl	5	568	Nov 20, 2007 by Jen
	PURPOSE OF A SPONSOR? (Preview) Hi, I was wondering what the purpose of a sponsor is? Is it for when a crisis arises you have someone to talk to? Is it a commitment where you have to call every day or once a week? Please explain? Thanks, Roxygirl5	roxygirl5	2	2090	Nov 20, 2007 by Jen
	Scared out running out of compassion (Preview) Hello everyone, well the latest in my life is the my A boyfriend has broken trust blatantly two nights in a row. This comes at the end of a string of incidents and I am rubbed raw, emotionally and physically (battling the same low-level flu forever). Last night I had a lot of tears and bf responded by fir...	tenacious	7	1055	Nov 20, 2007 by tenacious
	HALT (Preview) My mom used to spout of this Alanon slogan long ago when I would talk to her. I got pretty tired of the "lessons". But I knew deep down she had wisdom so I filed the things she said in my mind and went on with my life. Now it's eight years later and I'm in Alanon and trying to get my life back together...	souljoy	1	480	Nov 20, 2007 by rtexas
	HOW TO DETACH WITH LOVE? (Preview) Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...	roxygirl5	3	1758	Nov 20, 2007 by rtexas
	What Do You Do in Year 5? (Preview) A question for those of you with A's that have established a successful long-term recovery (5+ years?) and forgive me if I sound naive. After years of successful recovery with your A, do you still keep your guard up, work your program, and take nothing at face value? In other words, does the Al-Anon a...	Jeff Reynolds	8	491	Nov 20, 2007 by Jean4444
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.