Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jen · Jen

My A just got a card from his b who is in jail. He says that he has had our address for a long time but never written because he thought I wouldn't give my A the letter. So I am hurt and upset. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it really hurts. My A has told so many lies to his family about me, either directly or...

marmare · marmare

I find that sometimes I get lazy and don't work my program as much as I should. Other times I work the program with the most unlikely person, like a co-worker. You know the person that is filled with negative energy at work that brings you down, I now remove myself from where that person is working. I tr...

Chetch · Chetch

I should have started out posting this separately but started off putting it under my yesterday's post about my husband's DUI and him looking for a program that he could go to for 6 weeks and get a certificate saying he was no longer an A. The program he is looking for doesn't exist, which must be why he's h...

maresie2 · maresie2

I feel like I have got really strong after my melt down the other day. I feel like I can make a plan to pull myself out of this mess and execute it. Right now I think its all workable and I can move along through it. I feel motivated and resilient. I did not feel that on Monday I felt alone, isolated and totally h...

Chetch · Chetch

My husband, who has a DUI trial comming up, casually says to me this morning as we are getting dressed for work, that an the advise of his attorney, he was going to the faciality where he was in detox this afternoon for an "alcohol assessment" whatever that is. Just to refresh memories he go...

gknee · gknee

Hi Al-Anon Family- I haven 't been on this board since 7/11 of this year. So much happened that I want to share with you. Last time I was here, my AH had been in AA for about a month after an intense binge of drinking and drug use (pot and prescription sleeping pills) of about a month. He has about 35 years...

klm4446 · klm4446

Bear with me as I am still learning. I have read through more of the posts and replies. Detatching seems to be such a big part of al-anon as the best way to "handle" the A while sustaining ourselves.(or maybe the way to make living with the A bearable, allowing you to continue loving them) An...

souljoy · souljoy

Last night AH and I talked about the inane subject of being from a city or being a suburbanite. Now I am from a city outside of Chicago that has a population of 100,000. So when people ask where I am from I say I am a city girl and I grew up outside of Chicago. So last night, the AH was determined to get me to &qu...

wishing · wishing

ok - a first time visitor, poster, natural skeptic my h is not mean, angry, abusive, etc. He hoes drink too much, daily, to the point that he is forgetting conversations we have, and last night he was in charge of our 5 month old while I worked a late meeting - came home to find him trashed - they werefine, b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

About 3 days ago my son (he's 5) says mom when can I talk to my dad on the phone? Out of the blue... It's been at least 6 months since he talked to him. Then WHAM, the A calls the next day. So I put my son on the phone and the tv is up loud so I send him into the bedroom to talk so he can hear. Then almost instantl...

round3 · round3

Hi all, This is my first post here, but I've been in and out of al-anon rooms for years. L-o-n-g (oh so long) story - but here's the quick version. Known this man for 30 years. Dated him moons ago. Broke up. Got back together years later and got engaged. Engagement broken due to vicious alcoholism,...

klm4446 · klm4446

I am very appreciative of all the replies I received. Thank you to everybody. I feel like a broken record, and know I will probably be repeating myself again. This has been the most traumatic experience of my life (and I thought I'd been through some things). But, your support and understanding is he...

maresie2 · maresie2

I spoke to the consumer credit place today. They want a huge payment every month. I've actually made more than that payment monthly for the past few months. I must admit huge gops of rage came up at the A. The money I spent on him, how I tried till I was almost vertical to get him to sanity. I am not rushing i...

meerkat · meerkat

Hi all. I'm heading to my first Al-Anon meeting this Friday and a little nervous. Have a wonderful husband who has binged off and on for years (I know that sounds like it doesnt make sense.) He's gone to a doctor who encouraged him to go to AA, however he refuses. He takes Campral...but it hasnt stopp...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers. --Susan Marcotte Some of us have temper tantrums. Like black clouds, we threaten an outburst at any moment. Other people learn to check us out for storm warnings. They want time to clear out or at least to put on a prote...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I don't know how to phrase this without really ruining the whole anonymity thing, so I'll just try to be clear and to the point. When I met my AH (12 years ago) he told me he had HepC. We've always taken precautions with eachother and with the kids (no sharing toothbrushes ect...). I had to get a HepC test d...

maire rua · maire rua

Guys am on holidays, no shortage of drama, raging toothache, safe had to be fixed in room, had all passports, flights back etc, instead of a having a fit while waiting for repair man got on this site, love it, made a gratitude list instead of having a fit, this could have happened just as we were going home...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, did a temporary filling on the tooth, have an appointment for dentist next tuesday, and got some stuff from the chemist, yea, seems to be ok, safe is fixed, and am going down memory lane with this holiday as the last time my a brother was with me and my youngest son, no comparisons. I am having some...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am feeling much much much better today. Absolutely nothing about my situation has changed. I am still broke, fed up, tired, worn out, living in absolute craziness. I may get fired today and they may hold off for a few weeks. Who knows. I know I will deal with it whatever happens. I know I can deal with it t...

Becky1 · Becky1

My granddaughter was born last night, she was not supposed to be here until today! The docs were going to induce this morning, so she was checked in last night, 3 weeks early. When they checked the mommy she was dialated to 3! Checked into hospital at 5 after a big Lone Star Steakhouse dinner, water bro...

barisax · barisax

Sometimes when I look at people around me outside of the program, I get the feeling that I'm looking at the "other side". Those people who have been fortunate enough to have gotten through life so far without a significant alcoholic in their lives. They don't have the isms, they don't see...

david62 · david62

I got some really sad news yesterday. A person that came to one of my face to face al-anon groups took her own life on Thanksgiving Day. When I got the news, I could not believe it. I still see her smiling face and hear her laughter. She was such an enthusiastic person, the person I knew. She was one of...

Gailey · Gailey

I sent you a private message yesterday. Did you get it? Gail

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello family,I have an urgent need for prayer. Something I have been trying to prepare for has occured tonight. My sweet birdie, Angel, passed away last night. I feel absolutely numb, except for pain in my heart.My friends I spoke to tonight have told me that I did all I could to keep her alive, but it wa...

NightWatcher · NightWatcher

I want to thank everyone for your support since the passing of my son James... James was a talented artist and tattoo artist .. and also a person with this disease of alcholism/additction... and he found bottom on Nov 7th 2007.... for those who have been asking and of course anyone who would like to se...

maresie2 · maresie2

I learend today that I am going to leaving this job I have been in for almost 8 months. They are going to let me go. I may not be here beyond the end of this week. I have really super struggled at this job as teh commute is horrendous and the woman I work for is horrible. I have also been doing a second job and I am a...

Heather72 · Heather72

My AH "disappeared" over a week ago. Apparently he had lived out of his car for a number of days. He then, through his work at the hotel, was given a room to use until he could find a place to rent. He called Friday and wanted to see our daughter. We agreed he would come over this afternoon to s...

hersh · hersh

Hello everyone!! I just wanted to drop a line and let you all know how wonderful this board is, and how much I truly believe my life has changed from this program. I just cherish the tools and wisdom I have learned from Alanon. I am so grateful to have learned that if things go badly in my life, I can reach ou...

maresie2 · maresie2

The more I pull away from the A the better I am able to discern who can and can't meet my needs. I live in an insane household where everyone is afraid, enmeshed and every single day is total chaos and confusion. There is abolutley no doubt for me that there is no one there who can meet my needs. This situatio...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I found this recently and felt it warrented sharing, I hope you find it as helpful on this subject as I have. Barb *To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else. *To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off. It's the realization I can't control anothe...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, My rent is going up $90 per month, gas prices have risen, and my daughter needs glasses. I will be applying for a 2nd job down the road. I am hoping the manager will allow me to bring my 10 year old to work with me. There's only one way for me to find out, and that is to ask. As things are going, I have...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My holiday was good, we had lots of pies and junk as that was what each child chose to have LOL. We watched lots of movies, and went out to see Enchanted. I worked several days and made extra money and we enjoyed that at the theater and having lunch before. Got free pics of the kids with Santa at walmart. ...

maire rua · maire rua

Yes, the lady got the job and rang me to give me some interview tips this morning, I stayed calm and congratulated her and told her I was on holidays and needed to go, grrrh, grrh, grrh, thank you all, I needed to do that, still delighted I went for interview and did not get intimidated out of it,

kissers · kissers

I found this online: I can be a winner. I am the best friend I have. I have solved problems like this before. I have the ability to handle this. I am a capable human being. I deserve to love and to be loved. I am a skillful and artistic person. I can show others a good example. Letting go is best for them and for m...

chick29 · chick29

Well just got back from the wedding that I went to with my A but we are currently having space, I really hope its not permanantley! I first turned up and we were genuinley pleased to see each other, he told me how nice I looked and he was so smart in his morning suit. It was hard day for both of us, in the sense of...

chick29 · chick29

Having carried on posting which is the good thing I hope, please refer to my last post on the original that is my response, I just think of this a forum as a circle I hope we all continue to meet each other in our needs. looking back perhaps my response sounds angry, but its honest i wish i could get to a ftf jus...

chick29 · chick29

Well where do I start if I were to right down everything wrong my alcohlic boyf has done over the past four years people would think I was absolutley insane to have stayed but the truth is that sometimes it actually feels like it hurts more to actually sit with splitting up and him not being there than to pu...

HopeinVA · HopeinVA

Hello, I just found this site last night after doing some searches on AA in an effort to help my H. I had never heard of al anon before so that's how new I am to all of this. My H of 12 years I fear is an A. We have 3 small children. He never drinks at home it is always at the local bars. I also feel he suffers fr...

Allie · Allie

I have some? I would like to ask?What gives a addict the right to give some body a choice they have to make? The way I look at it is for how long did we beg and plea for them to stop using or go for help? They think they have the right to bark orders at every one. I understand fully that they are sick but they are all...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Hi everyone! Some of you might know about the evil eye- it's basically the wrath incurred from envy. I think it's like a supernatural superstition where if you have something good, you might make other people jealous, and that jealousy turns into bad vibes that eventually make something bad happen....

maresie2 · maresie2

When I was with the A one of my huge huge fears was that when I wa sout on my own I would not be able to make it financially. Of course I had some idea of how hard it will be. I have been on a contract job for a few months now. I am pretty certain this contract will not last more than another 2 months. That is good and b...

maresie · maresie

When it came to recovery from child abuse issues I did a geographic. I did not see or talk to my family of origin for more than 10 years. Then I briefly very briefly for a year or two interaced with my mother before she died. That interaction was very very distant. I thought I had put all my child abuse stuff...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

so much sadness. So much grieving...I just met for a few hours with my A today for the first time in several months. We have not lived together for 2 years but I moved to a distant place so we see each other quite rarely. We have been trying to work on things thru email, phone, etc. but its just been a giant fai...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

This subject came up at a meeting this week and the question was asked "How do you meditate?" I would love to hear how the rest of you meditate, what processes do you go through to get there? Thanks Barb

ddub · ddub

ok, so holiday weekends can be every emotion and I am so full of so many emotions it has made me weepy. At times it is good to have extra people around and at times we look forward to the regular daily routine. It is time for me to focus on one thing, one day or one moment at a time. Change is constant which in...

norwood · norwood

Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone Fallen out like s...

omajoy · omajoy

About all I can say about Thanksgiving is "thank God it is over"....now on to the next holiday. I maintained my resolve to not allow anyone or anything to create chaos on Thanksgiving; that was successful. We had a quiet day with my spouse . Our son came for a simple meal and we all managed to c...

afmom03 · afmom03

Happy Thanksgiving All! I'm actually just getting off the phone with my AH as I type this and dang near ready to cry because I'm not there with him. We've been separated almost 11 months now...(I left him)...and I thought I would be happy to be spending it "My Way&quo...

debilyn · debilyn

Tis my grandson,Sprout. His given name is Noah Orion. His moms name is Raini Spring. Sadly his dad is A. Thankfully I had many years of MIP to be able to guide Rain when she asked me for help. Now our Sprout is safe,sees his Daddy safely. And Rain knows to look for red flags. I am grateful to MIP becuz I looked...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, went for a major job interview today, did well, only problem is knew the job was gone before I went for it. Nine candidates were called and the lady in the job whom I am acquainted with was well able to let me know all the ins and outs. I have met her three times since yesterday and eventually I was sick...

Diva · Diva

A couple of replies to a post have been directed more at my response than the original poster. Why would that be? I'll tell you. When a poster writes that the A bf is abusing her both mentally and physically, I am not going to say, "Go to AlAnon meetings so that you can acquire the tools you need to make...

chick29 · chick29

When I first met my alcoholic, I very quickly realised it was too much too bear and sought out help, that how I found al anon a lady who later became a good friend rang me up and later met me and took me to my first ftf meeting. If I'mhonest I played at it and the programm, it was handy I always got a lift and at the...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi All, So yesterday was my first holiday without my ah in over 20 yrs, and it wasn't so bad. The hardest part was when he showed up right before we were to leave (to drop off item requested by son) and started playing football with the kids. I could tell he was sad and was stalling. Earlier in the day he had...

serendipity · serendipity

I had thought that I would be spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids. No big deal, I was ok with the whole idea. I threw out an offer to a friend in the program. They accepted and we had such an awsome time. It was so nice to be with people who had no hidden agenda, no need to put down or gossip, no negativity...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I spent thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and my niece and nephew (both adults) and my mom and some neighbor friends of my sister....it was all very delicious and lovely but let me tell you, I was not really there at all. I feel like I slipped- not the bawling my head off because I set myself up aga...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Thank you all for your ESH re: my problems with my sponsor. It really kicked me in the ass (which I needed). I called her and we talked for quite a while. We are now on a weekly check-in schedule to talk each Thurs regardless if anything is "going on" for me or not. I feel much much much better. tha...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Does this mean that in another 7 days it will have been 21 and the squeezing sensation in my chest will go away and I'll feel like I can get a deep breath finally? You know someone told me last night that the actual physical addiction / brain receptors for nicotine go away after 3 days and the rest is just h...

John · John

I got over 500 replies regarding the Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery House Video. Your comments suggestions, questions and opinions were fabulous and surely encouraged me and will help me with polishing it up a bit as I move forward with this endeavor. Many, many thanks to those who are p...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Dear Friends)))) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Well today was a short work day for me as I work in retail. The A was up early this morning and by the time I left for work at 8:00AM he was drunk. This has become a matter of course for thanksgiving, so I wasn't too surprised. I was at peace all day...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake. -Ta-sui I know many of us will be with family in the upcoming weeks, and on today. There is a temptation to take their inventory, now that we have "seen the light and found the path." I have found, a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Short vent and a ? (Preview) My A just got a card from his b who is in jail. He says that he has had our address for a long time but never written because he thought I wouldn't give my A the letter. So I am hurt and upset. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it really hurts. My A has told so many lies to his family about me, either directly or...	Jen	1	514	Nov 29, 2007 by Jean4444
	Keep working it (Preview) I find that sometimes I get lazy and don't work my program as much as I should. Other times I work the program with the most unlikely person, like a co-worker. You know the person that is filled with negative energy at work that brings you down, I now remove myself from where that person is working. I tr...	marmare	6	495	Nov 29, 2007 by Jen
	My A's "assessment" (Preview) I should have started out posting this separately but started off putting it under my yesterday's post about my husband's DUI and him looking for a program that he could go to for 6 weeks and get a certificate saying he was no longer an A. The program he is looking for doesn't exist, which must be why he's h...	Chetch	5	1101	Nov 29, 2007 by Chetch
	getting stronger (Preview) I feel like I have got really strong after my melt down the other day. I feel like I can make a plan to pull myself out of this mess and execute it. Right now I think its all workable and I can move along through it. I feel motivated and resilient. I did not feel that on Monday I felt alone, isolated and totally h...	maresie2	2	372	Nov 29, 2007 by carolinagirl
	My AH just doesn't get it! (Preview) My husband, who has a DUI trial comming up, casually says to me this morning as we are getting dressed for work, that an the advise of his attorney, he was going to the faciality where he was in detox this afternoon for an "alcohol assessment" whatever that is. Just to refresh memories he go...	Chetch	8	800	Nov 29, 2007 by Chetch
	its been a while (long post) (Preview) Hi Al-Anon Family- I haven 't been on this board since 7/11 of this year. So much happened that I want to share with you. Last time I was here, my AH had been in AA for about a month after an intense binge of drinking and drug use (pot and prescription sleeping pills) of about a month. He has about 35 years...	gknee	5	605	Nov 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Confusion re: detatching (Preview) Bear with me as I am still learning. I have read through more of the posts and replies. Detatching seems to be such a big part of al-anon as the best way to "handle" the A while sustaining ourselves.(or maybe the way to make living with the A bearable, allowing you to continue loving them) An...	klm4446	12	916	Nov 29, 2007 by Jen
	Dang it Alanon works! (Preview) Last night AH and I talked about the inane subject of being from a city or being a suburbanite. Now I am from a city outside of Chicago that has a population of 100,000. So when people ask where I am from I say I am a city girl and I grew up outside of Chicago. So last night, the AH was determined to get me to &qu...	souljoy	4	464	Nov 29, 2007 by cookie1971
	new (Preview) ok - a first time visitor, poster, natural skeptic my h is not mean, angry, abusive, etc. He hoes drink too much, daily, to the point that he is forgetting conversations we have, and last night he was in charge of our 5 month old while I worked a late meeting - came home to find him trashed - they werefine, b...	wishing	12	657	Nov 29, 2007 by klm4446
	I think I really messed up (Preview) About 3 days ago my son (he's 5) says mom when can I talk to my dad on the phone? Out of the blue... It's been at least 6 months since he talked to him. Then WHAM, the A calls the next day. So I put my son on the phone and the tv is up loud so I send him into the bedroom to talk so he can hear. Then almost instantl...	carolinagirl	12	676	Nov 29, 2007 by Jean4444
	First Post (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post here, but I've been in and out of al-anon rooms for years. L-o-n-g (oh so long) story - but here's the quick version. Known this man for 30 years. Dated him moons ago. Broke up. Got back together years later and got engaged. Engagement broken due to vicious alcoholism,...	round3	9	671	Nov 29, 2007 by klm4446
	Thank yous (Preview) I am very appreciative of all the replies I received. Thank you to everybody. I feel like a broken record, and know I will probably be repeating myself again. This has been the most traumatic experience of my life (and I thought I'd been through some things). But, your support and understanding is he...	klm4446	1	492	Nov 29, 2007 by abbyal
	repairing the damage (Preview) I spoke to the consumer credit place today. They want a huge payment every month. I've actually made more than that payment monthly for the past few months. I must admit huge gops of rage came up at the A. The money I spent on him, how I tried till I was almost vertical to get him to sanity. I am not rushing i...	maresie2	3	366	Nov 29, 2007 by maire rua
	Ready to take the plunge (Preview) Hi all. I'm heading to my first Al-Anon meeting this Friday and a little nervous. Have a wonderful husband who has binged off and on for years (I know that sounds like it doesnt make sense.) He's gone to a doctor who encouraged him to go to AA, however he refuses. He takes Campral...but it hasnt stopp...	meerkat	6	656	Nov 29, 2007 by meerkat
	Managing our anger and responding to other's (Preview) Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers. --Susan Marcotte Some of us have temper tantrums. Like black clouds, we threaten an outburst at any moment. Other people learn to check us out for storm warnings. They want time to clear out or at least to put on a prote...	Tiger2006	7	614	Nov 28, 2007 by kissers
	Another Psycho Denial Issue (Preview) I don't know how to phrase this without really ruining the whole anonymity thing, so I'll just try to be clear and to the point. When I met my AH (12 years ago) he told me he had HepC. We've always taken precautions with eachother and with the kids (no sharing toothbrushes ect...). I had to get a HepC test d...	RainyJamie	11	626	Nov 28, 2007 by RainyJamie
	no screaming and shouting (Preview) Guys am on holidays, no shortage of drama, raging toothache, safe had to be fixed in room, had all passports, flights back etc, instead of a having a fit while waiting for repair man got on this site, love it, made a gratitude list instead of having a fit, this could have happened just as we were going home...	maire rua	4	590	Nov 28, 2007 by maresie2
	update on tooth and safe and all (Preview) Hi all, did a temporary filling on the tooth, have an appointment for dentist next tuesday, and got some stuff from the chemist, yea, seems to be ok, safe is fixed, and am going down memory lane with this holiday as the last time my a brother was with me and my youngest son, no comparisons. I am having some...	maire rua	0	330	Nov 28, 2007 by maire rua
	much better today (Preview) I am feeling much much much better today. Absolutely nothing about my situation has changed. I am still broke, fed up, tired, worn out, living in absolute craziness. I may get fired today and they may hold off for a few weeks. Who knows. I know I will deal with it whatever happens. I know I can deal with it t...	maresie2	5	473	Nov 28, 2007 by maire rua
	Granddaughter Born Last Night (Preview) My granddaughter was born last night, she was not supposed to be here until today! The docs were going to induce this morning, so she was checked in last night, 3 weeks early. When they checked the mommy she was dialated to 3! Checked into hospital at 5 after a big Lone Star Steakhouse dinner, water bro...	Becky1	13	675	Nov 28, 2007 by chris52
	Affected by Alcoholism? Who Isn't? (Preview) Sometimes when I look at people around me outside of the program, I get the feeling that I'm looking at the "other side". Those people who have been fortunate enough to have gotten through life so far without a significant alcoholic in their lives. They don't have the isms, they don't see...	barisax	12	805	Nov 28, 2007 by barisax
	Lessons from the Loss of a Friend (Preview) I got some really sad news yesterday. A person that came to one of my face to face al-anon groups took her own life on Thanksgiving Day. When I got the news, I could not believe it. I still see her smiling face and hear her laughter. She was such an enthusiastic person, the person I knew. She was one of...	david62	17	754	Nov 28, 2007 by NightWatcher
	For Kissers (Preview) I sent you a private message yesterday. Did you get it? Gail	Gailey	0	330	Nov 28, 2007 by Gailey
	VERY SAD NEWS TO SHARE---ESH requested (Preview) Hello family,I have an urgent need for prayer. Something I have been trying to prepare for has occured tonight. My sweet birdie, Angel, passed away last night. I feel absolutely numb, except for pain in my heart.My friends I spoke to tonight have told me that I did all I could to keep her alive, but it wa...	hippietrippiechick	10	755	Nov 27, 2007 by carosie
	Thanks to all (Preview) I want to thank everyone for your support since the passing of my son James... James was a talented artist and tattoo artist .. and also a person with this disease of alcholism/additction... and he found bottom on Nov 7th 2007.... for those who have been asking and of course anyone who would like to se...	NightWatcher	16	562	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	hard times (Preview) I learend today that I am going to leaving this job I have been in for almost 8 months. They are going to let me go. I may not be here beyond the end of this week. I have really super struggled at this job as teh commute is horrendous and the woman I work for is horrible. I have also been doing a second job and I am a...	maresie2	10	777	Nov 27, 2007 by Loupiness
	I need support (Preview) My AH "disappeared" over a week ago. Apparently he had lived out of his car for a number of days. He then, through his work at the hotel, was given a room to use until he could find a place to rent. He called Friday and wanted to see our daughter. We agreed he would come over this afternoon to s...	Heather72	11	714	Nov 27, 2007 by Leetle
	Grateful for tools and change.... (Preview) Hello everyone!! I just wanted to drop a line and let you all know how wonderful this board is, and how much I truly believe my life has changed from this program. I just cherish the tools and wisdom I have learned from Alanon. I am so grateful to have learned that if things go badly in my life, I can reach ou...	hersh	4	546	Nov 27, 2007 by rtexas
	meeting my needs (Preview) The more I pull away from the A the better I am able to discern who can and can't meet my needs. I live in an insane household where everyone is afraid, enmeshed and every single day is total chaos and confusion. There is abolutley no doubt for me that there is no one there who can meet my needs. This situatio...	maresie2	4	439	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	Letting Go (Preview) I found this recently and felt it warrented sharing, I hope you find it as helpful on this subject as I have. Barb To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off. It's the realization I can't control anothe...	Mobirdie	7	589	Nov 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	Applying for a 2nd job tomorrow (Preview) Hi everyone, My rent is going up $90 per month, gas prices have risen, and my daughter needs glasses. I will be applying for a 2nd job down the road. I am hoping the manager will allow me to bring my 10 year old to work with me. There's only one way for me to find out, and that is to ask. As things are going, I have...	kissers	4	411	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	Update (Preview) My holiday was good, we had lots of pies and junk as that was what each child chose to have LOL. We watched lots of movies, and went out to see Enchanted. I worked several days and made extra money and we enjoyed that at the theater and having lunch before. Got free pics of the kids with Santa at walmart. ...	carolinagirl	5	546	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	job interview result (Preview) Yes, the lady got the job and rang me to give me some interview tips this morning, I stayed calm and congratulated her and told her I was on holidays and needed to go, grrrh, grrh, grrh, thank you all, I needed to do that, still delighted I went for interview and did not get intimidated out of it,	maire rua	7	475	Nov 27, 2007 by Jean4444
	Positive Affirmations (Preview) I found this online: I can be a winner. I am the best friend I have. I have solved problems like this before. I have the ability to handle this. I am a capable human being. I deserve to love and to be loved. I am a skillful and artistic person. I can show others a good example. Letting go is best for them and for m...	kissers	4	5169	Nov 26, 2007 by cookie1971
	Cant put a name to a topic (Preview) Well just got back from the wedding that I went to with my A but we are currently having space, I really hope its not permanantley! I first turned up and we were genuinley pleased to see each other, he told me how nice I looked and he was so smart in his morning suit. It was hard day for both of us, in the sense of...	chick29	3	594	Nov 26, 2007 by maresie2
	My original post insane and obsessional thinking (Preview) Having carried on posting which is the good thing I hope, please refer to my last post on the original that is my response, I just think of this a forum as a circle I hope we all continue to meet each other in our needs. looking back perhaps my response sounds angry, but its honest i wish i could get to a ftf jus...	chick29	7	849	Nov 26, 2007 by maresie2
	Insane obsessional thinking (Preview) Well where do I start if I were to right down everything wrong my alcohlic boyf has done over the past four years people would think I was absolutley insane to have stayed but the truth is that sometimes it actually feels like it hurts more to actually sit with splitting up and him not being there than to pu...	chick29	13	956	Nov 26, 2007 by maresie2
	New to all of this, to stay or to go?? (Preview) Hello, I just found this site last night after doing some searches on AA in an effort to help my H. I had never heard of al anon before so that's how new I am to all of this. My H of 12 years I fear is an A. We have 3 small children. He never drinks at home it is always at the local bars. I also feel he suffers fr...	HopeinVA	10	923	Nov 26, 2007 by maire rua
	Who do they think they are? (Preview) I have some? I would like to ask?What gives a addict the right to give some body a choice they have to make? The way I look at it is for how long did we beg and plea for them to stop using or go for help? They think they have the right to bark orders at every one. I understand fully that they are sick but they are all...	Allie	2	588	Nov 26, 2007 by Mandy123
	The Evil Eye (Preview) Hi everyone! Some of you might know about the evil eye- it's basically the wrath incurred from envy. I think it's like a supernatural superstition where if you have something good, you might make other people jealous, and that jealousy turns into bad vibes that eventually make something bad happen....	RainyJamie	7	835	Nov 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	moving on mixed bag (Preview) When I was with the A one of my huge huge fears was that when I wa sout on my own I would not be able to make it financially. Of course I had some idea of how hard it will be. I have been on a contract job for a few months now. I am pretty certain this contract will not last more than another 2 months. That is good and b...	maresie2	4	511	Nov 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	HP has a sense of humor (Preview) When it came to recovery from child abuse issues I did a geographic. I did not see or talk to my family of origin for more than 10 years. Then I briefly very briefly for a year or two interaced with my mother before she died. That interaction was very very distant. I thought I had put all my child abuse stuff...	maresie	5	627	Nov 26, 2007 by maire rua
	vent (Preview) so much sadness. So much grieving...I just met for a few hours with my A today for the first time in several months. We have not lived together for 2 years but I moved to a distant place so we see each other quite rarely. We have been trying to work on things thru email, phone, etc. but its just been a giant fai...	Jean4444	7	531	Nov 26, 2007 by maire rua
	Meditation (Preview) This subject came up at a meeting this week and the question was asked "How do you meditate?" I would love to hear how the rest of you meditate, what processes do you go through to get there? Thanks Barb	Mobirdie	6	460	Nov 26, 2007 by Jerry F
	one day at a time (Preview) ok, so holiday weekends can be every emotion and I am so full of so many emotions it has made me weepy. At times it is good to have extra people around and at times we look forward to the regular daily routine. It is time for me to focus on one thing, one day or one moment at a time. Change is constant which in...	ddub	5	455	Nov 25, 2007 by nmike
	detaching with love (Preview) Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone Fallen out like s...	norwood	1	439	Nov 24, 2007 by nmike
	Thanks for being over (Preview) About all I can say about Thanksgiving is "thank God it is over"....now on to the next holiday. I maintained my resolve to not allow anyone or anything to create chaos on Thanksgiving; that was successful. We had a quiet day with my spouse . Our son came for a simple meal and we all managed to c...	omajoy	3	559	Nov 24, 2007 by nmike
	My First Holiday Alone (Preview) Happy Thanksgiving All! I'm actually just getting off the phone with my AH as I type this and dang near ready to cry because I'm not there with him. We've been separated almost 11 months now...(I left him)...and I thought I would be happy to be spending it "My Way&quo...	afmom03	4	1092	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	ps, the baby (Preview) Tis my grandson,Sprout. His given name is Noah Orion. His moms name is Raini Spring. Sadly his dad is A. Thankfully I had many years of MIP to be able to guide Rain when she asked me for help. Now our Sprout is safe,sees his Daddy safely. And Rain knows to look for red flags. I am grateful to MIP becuz I looked...	debilyn	4	375	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	job interview need to vent (Preview) Hi All, went for a major job interview today, did well, only problem is knew the job was gone before I went for it. Nine candidates were called and the lady in the job whom I am acquainted with was well able to let me know all the ins and outs. I have met her three times since yesterday and eventually I was sick...	maire rua	3	547	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	My two cents. (closed) (Preview) A couple of replies to a post have been directed more at my response than the original poster. Why would that be? I'll tell you. When a poster writes that the A bf is abusing her both mentally and physically, I am not going to say, "Go to AlAnon meetings so that you can acquire the tools you need to make...	Diva	19	1012	Nov 24, 2007 by tea2
	weddings and al anon (Preview) When I first met my alcoholic, I very quickly realised it was too much too bear and sought out help, that how I found al anon a lady who later became a good friend rang me up and later met me and took me to my first ftf meeting. If I'mhonest I played at it and the programm, it was handy I always got a lift and at the...	chick29	3	577	Nov 24, 2007 by Karilynn
	Post-holiday thoughts (Preview) Hi All, So yesterday was my first holiday without my ah in over 20 yrs, and it wasn't so bad. The hardest part was when he showed up right before we were to leave (to drop off item requested by son) and started playing football with the kids. I could tell he was sad and was stalling. Earlier in the day he had...	Loupiness	4	481	Nov 24, 2007 by debilyn
	I love this program (Preview) I had thought that I would be spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids. No big deal, I was ok with the whole idea. I threw out an offer to a friend in the program. They accepted and we had such an awsome time. It was so nice to be with people who had no hidden agenda, no need to put down or gossip, no negativity...	serendipity	3	425	Nov 23, 2007 by nmike
	thank you for reading (Preview) I spent thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and my niece and nephew (both adults) and my mom and some neighbor friends of my sister....it was all very delicious and lovely but let me tell you, I was not really there at all. I feel like I slipped- not the bawling my head off because I set myself up aga...	Jean4444	3	591	Nov 23, 2007 by nmike
	I talked to my sponsor (Preview) Thank you all for your ESH re: my problems with my sponsor. It really kicked me in the ass (which I needed). I called her and we talked for quite a while. We are now on a weekly check-in schedule to talk each Thurs regardless if anything is "going on" for me or not. I feel much much much better. tha...	Jean4444	0	323	Nov 23, 2007 by Jean4444
	It's been 2 weeks!! (Preview) Does this mean that in another 7 days it will have been 21 and the squeezing sensation in my chest will go away and I'll feel like I can get a deep breath finally? You know someone told me last night that the actual physical addiction / brain receptors for nicotine go away after 3 days and the rest is just h...	carolinagirl	2	366	Nov 23, 2007 by QOD
	Video Input was appreciated (Please Read) (Preview) I got over 500 replies regarding the Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery House Video. Your comments suggestions, questions and opinions were fabulous and surely encouraged me and will help me with polishing it up a bit as I move forward with this endeavor. Many, many thanks to those who are p...	John	3	590	Nov 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	THE SAME OLD STORY---WITH A TWIST (Preview) (((((Dear Friends)))) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Well today was a short work day for me as I work in retail. The A was up early this morning and by the time I left for work at 8:00AM he was drunk. This has become a matter of course for thanksgiving, so I wasn't too surprised. I was at peace all day...	cookie1971	2	753	Nov 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	"Let it begin with me" (Preview) As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake. -Ta-sui I know many of us will be with family in the upcoming weeks, and on today. There is a temptation to take their inventory, now that we have "seen the light and found the path." I have found, a...	Tiger2006	3	1281	Nov 22, 2007 by cookie1971
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.