The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband, who has a DUI trial comming up, casually says to me this morning as we are getting dressed for work, that an the advise of his attorney, he was going to the faciality where he was in detox this afternoon for an "alcohol assessment" whatever that is. Just to refresh memories he got a DUI, 3rd lifetime DUI, with blood alcohol .26 at 6:00 at night. This was a few weeks before he went into detox for 6 days when I gave him the ultimatum that if he didn't go into detox and quit drinking I was filing for divorce. He's been sober now for something like 6 weeks. His attorney has told him he has to get into an outpatient alcohol program before he goes to Court. He then tells me that he's been looking for an outpatient program where he can go for like 6 weeks and get a certificate saying he is no longer an alcoholic!!?? Amazingly he can't find such a program. I asked him what his objection was to going to AA and working a program and getting a sponser - and it is FREE!! He responded by saying that the AA meetings he had gone to were full of people hanging on by their fingernails to keep from drinking and he doesn't feel that describes him as he no longer has a desire to drink. I just didn't respond. I guess a miricle has happened.....
I feel your pain chetch yes it would be nice if you could get a certificate, both my brothers, ex a, mother deceased, father still living and step mother and ex A would love one of those, let me know if they exist sorry if im sarcastic, been there done that, detach
Your post made me smile checht . like it or not drunk or sober they gotta do it thier way . just keep looking after your self lots of meetings he will figure out what he needs to do for himself .
Your loved one is showing that he doesn't WANT it. When your loved one is sick of getting burned and getting beat down, he will do whatever he has to live whatever way will save his life. Until then, learn how to live your life in a way that is honest, happy, joyous, and free.
Chetch - thanks for my very first laugh of the day. I can so relate!!! My A ALWAYS has it all figured out. Waaaaaaaay ahead of those poor souls working a program. yeh.......... hope he never finds out that someone, somewhere out there is handing out "certificates"! lol
Oh my! Thank God I can read something like this where he's looking for a place to get a certificate that he's no longer an alcoholic, and laugh!
My ex-husband never did get sober, and was buried this year at the tender age of 47. It was a tough decision to walk away when I did, but oh what a ride it would have been had I stayed, and not a good one at that.
Thank God I found recovery and sanity for myself, and I believe that was the greatest blessing that came from that doomed marriage.
I will always be grateful for that.
__________________
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
The program he is looking for doesn't exist, which must be why he's having such a hard time finding it:)He had his "alcohol assessment" yesterday and brought home the papers they gave him and he had told them that the reason he has been drinking so much is because he is so depressed about my having cancer and possibly dying. In the first place, he was an A long before I was diagnosed with cancer. In the second place, I have been in remission for over a year and work 40 hours a week and don't think I'm going to be kicking the bucket anytime soon. As a matter of fact my oncologist just told us a few weeks ago that I can cut back on having full body scans to one every six months from one every 3 months. True, we had a rought time for a while - I was diagnosed with lung cancer in the left lung in 11/05 and had part of my left lung removed, breat cancer in 4/06 and had a lumpectomy and 2 months of radiation, then right lung cancer in 7/06 and had part of my right lung removed.I'm fine as long as I don't have to run a marathon. I really resent him using my cancer as an excuse for his drinking. He also refuses to take anti depressants because they make him feel "weird". I hope these professionals will see thru him. He gave them permission to contact me and boy will I give them an earful!
