The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I find that sometimes I get lazy and don't work my program as much as I should. Other times I work the program with the most unlikely person, like a co-worker. You know the person that is filled with negative energy at work that brings you down, I now remove myself from where that person is working. I try not to listen to them or get baited or pulled in.
Last week I found myself being pulled in and baited by my A. He has made major changes in the last year, however he is still an A and actively drinks. I received my inheritance check and paid some bills and bought me a Harley. LOL No I don't ride YET, however this is a dream I have had since I was about 6 years old. Before the bike came home it was made clear that this is not a bar hopping bike, it is a bike for riding and since I won't get my endorsement until Spring my A will get his first. He has had one before and I have to take classes where he has to just take the test. Anyway, he wanted to take the bike on the toy run. I had to work and with his permit only he can not have a passenger. I said no... The day before the toy run he was out with a non-drinker, he didn't take the bike to friends etc. as I told him that I want to be with him when I show it off. He told me how he respected me and didn't show it off. Then he started pouting and moping and even tried the guilt trip thing when it came to the toy run. I even heard the "you are trying to control me" I worked the program, I didn't allow myself to be pulled in, I didn't bite at the bait....I stood up for myself and the fact that the bike is mine and it was purchased for me and for us to do things together...that it is a non-drinking activity, he tried the "then I just won't ride it ever" to which I responded "okay it will sit in garage until Spring and I will ride it alone".....I stood strong and it worked. My A didn't have anything to say for 2 days but I think now he realized that this is how it is. I also made it clear there have been things in the last 10 years that I have allowed to be "ruined" by behaviors and this is so special to me that I will not allow ANYONE to ruin it for me. This program works if you work it...I know I have to work it even when things seem to be going okay, it has to be right there all the time. I feel stronger and more confident everyday, I feel, not just "know" that my feelings and convictions count, I know when to let go and when to stand strong most of the time. Hugs Mary
((((((((((((((Mary)))))))))))))))), You go girl :). Work your program. And just imagine that first ride, that is going to be such a thrill for you. Hopefully by then most fo the construction will be done in the area so you won't have to worry about that. Oh wait how long have they been working on the consrtuction up the road? Sigh a girl can dream can't she :).
Anyway good for you. This is your toy and you should be able to keep it special.
Love ya Mary!
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
super COOL EXAMPLE! Gee, I can just see my AH and I doing it, too! The same words out of the same mouths except its me and him and not you and him!!! Really inspiring, needed this today. thank you for your post and I am sooo glad you got your dream come true bike!! sounds wonderful- I wish I could see a picture of you on it! Hugs, J.
Me too, scared to death to ride. What a great gift to yourself to buy a Harley. The A's have to have their own dreams and make them come true. Way to show us how to work the program. Funny how HP works. I have had a terrible day at work. Ready to toss the towel in and here is your post about working the program at work. Cool.
Wow! What a great share. You are so right about needing to work the program always, not just when things are hard. Sometimes we don't even recognise the road to the rocky spots til we get there. It does work if you work it all the time.
You are an empowering force in the lives of all of us on this board.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
