Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

connie marie · connie marie

i was married to my a for 17 pretty miserable years, cheating, lying, spending money, dui, etc. then he left me for another woman. when i filed for divorce he begged me to take him back. i prayed about it and felt thats what i should do. he went to aa, quit drinking, we went to church and got saved, hung out...

Cad · Cad

Hello, John sent me an email this morning and I decided to take him up on the offer. I have been in Al-Anon for about 23 years. I have held many service positions. Right now I am the District Rep. for my district. I was the DR. ten years ago, when there was a lot of people in the program and a lot more meetin...

meagain · meagain

I apparently have been in a conflict with my oldest son. His actions so remind me of my exA. He has shown me not much respect. I have detached...but have left a few messages, because I want to see my Gkids. No response....It has been over a month. This is not fair to the kids..we spent so much time together...

debbi · debbi

Hi everyone. I'm new to the board. My friend is 19 yrs clean and has been a godsend to me. So here's my story... Both my sons are 21 and 18. I'm in a second marriage on 4 years now to a wonderful and loving man. We were introduced by my oldest and his middle son. My oldest son Nick (now 21) has always been d...

QOD · QOD

So here I am again. It has been a LONG time since I have been on here. Some of you may remember me...some don't know me at all. History: I married my highschool sweetheart when I was 18 and pregnant in the 12th grade. We were married for 15 years. We had a son and daughter in that time, ages now 15 yo son in A...

maresie · maresie

I'm at a place not where I am more interested in what I did in the relationship(s) that what the A did. I'm saying that not to minimize what he did (obviously it was incredibly self destructive) but to look at what did I do. Overtime and reading I'm really seeing that when I was in rescue mode, in victim mod...

shawn306 · shawn306

I feel lost right now. I am the son of an A and I am sitting here watching a family fall apart and there is nothing I can do about it. My Father, who in hindsight probably was always an alcoholic but had always been able to put on the brakes when things started getting out of hand can't now. For the past 18 mo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I had a rough week last week. Thus, I have been trying to make a conscious effort thie past few days, mostly by prayer, to get my emotions away from my AH and onto myself and my kids. Uhhh, and its just as difficult as I thought it would be. Now I am finding myself getting mad. What set me off first thing this...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Hubby and I could really use lots of prayers right now. It has nothing to do with his drinking (or not). He has some health issues and it doesn't look good right now. No one knows besides his Dad and myself. I found out yesterday. He's been carrying this around for almost 10 months...

kitty · kitty

... one word or a phrase can set me off by anyone that knows me. I am very emotional and most days, honestly am pretty reactive. So the days when I'm cool, calm, collected are the rare ones... and just b/c I don't outwardly say any thing, my brain is likely having a nutty conversation all by itself. Then...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi, thank you for all your support and words.I read them all over and over.The thoughts also come up in my head. Son called me, we had a nice normal conversation. I told him thank you for callind. He said if this is what it takes I will keep checking in. Was soooooo nice. Daughter apologised then went on to s...

BK911 · BK911

Hi, My name is Bobbi. I am married to an alcoholic, and also the adult child of an alcoholic (my Dad who died when I was 19). I have been married for 2 years to my AH, but we lived together for 2 before that. He is verbally abusive when he drinks, and I reached my breaking point with all of it. I told him about...

QOD · QOD

I took my kids to the beach on Saturday. A guy friend and his 7 yo son went with us. I gave my son the option to stay with his dad instead of going with us. He doesn't really care for the beach or the heat and sand. So he called his dad, of course he didn't get an answer at 8:00 AM. He decided to go with us, said...

CJ · CJ

(((family))) I want to pass along some ESH that may be valuable. Collectively, we need to get past the question of "why?". Why does he/she __________? That blank can be anything for them; however, it is a path that leads to the dangerous places in my head. I have found that keeping the fo...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners , So glad that you are always here. I went to my f2f meeting this morning. Right before the meeting my AHSober calls me. He did it again. I thought we agreed to met to have supper with our son home from college. He was pleasant enough and then on the phone, he bombed me. He made an offer on land wit...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I want to thank everyone for the lovely and very encouraging responses to my recent posts and for the lovely birthday wishes that you all expressed. The after glow certainly got me through the rest of last week. This week, however, is a different kettle of fish and tomorrow is going to be very testing, s...

charr · charr

just checking in with my mip family, i have a lot to post about, there is a little chaos going on right now so i don't have much time to type. when i stepped back from the situation with my ah and took myself out to look at me, my mind started to get alittle clear, i love my self and there are people out there tha...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

JUNE 1, 2008 MEETING MINUTES Of MIRACLES IN PROGRESS ALANON GROUP Madam Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. Madam Chair then posted an outline of the evening's meeting agenda. Madam Chair noted that the Sec. was absent and asked for a volunteer to take meeting minutes in the Sec's a...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Ok, so I quit my pain in the butt job and the next day I was home to receive a phone call from a local Doctor's office that wants me in for an interview on Wednesday. And now for the last few days I've been trying my hardest to keep my tounge in check because my MIND and TEMPER are working overtime due to hormon...

QOD · QOD

I got a call from my son's school this morning. The school psychologist called him in to "talk" and see if she can figure out what some of his issues are and how we can help him. Well, needless to say, he wasn't there. He is skipping school today!!! And on top of that he told me this morning tha...

szeyamo · szeyamo

Hi. I sought out this board because I have a question and no one to answer it. My husband is from a family of alcoholics. He drank as a teenager, and then stopped when he was about 21 (DUI). Then started again for about 3 years before I met him, at 28. We've been married happily for 12 years, without any drink...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... we've had lots of great discussion on the board in recent weeks about the subjects of "enabling" and "detachment", so I thought I'd post some great information about both of these items, direct from an expert in the field..... Hope it clarifies some of the misconcep...

junehouse · junehouse

Hello, So here I am all grown up and mature. Self reflective and saddned by my weaknesses and having developed skills to combat them to some extent. So my question is...? Yes, I grew up in isolation and chaos with two alcoholic parents who where both likely personality disordered or mentally ill in a...

stariana · stariana

I have never posted my own topic on here, only replied to others. I seem to gain strength from reading other peoples problems and the responses they receive. So bear with me - I NEVER ask for help. One of my "wonderful" coping skills learned very young! ahahaha My life in a nutshell... daug...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Well brothers and sisters, I am having a very difficult time, once again, with my oldest son. Who has graduated from high school. By the skin of his teeth. Now we are working on gettng grants, scholarships, or loans for his college education. None of which he wants to participate in. I have tried to talk...

carosie · carosie

This morning in the meeting the topics were detachment and gratitude...as I sat here pondering the topics a thought came to mind. When I am detaching I can be in a mindset of gratitude. I know for me gratitude aids me in keeping my serenity. When I am feeling grateful for all I do have I do feel I'm in a pla...

ddub · ddub

Hi family, I know lots of the slogans now like aware, accept, action etc but my mode of operation seems to be progress, then the slip or regression that can follow sneaks up on me and I wallow so much I don't even realize what has come over me so I could give myself 15 min of self pity. It takes me days to becom...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Still find it hard to work this programme by myself. As some of the family are aware, there are no f2f meetings in my area and so I do not have that option. And, I do not have a sponsor on hand to telephone or meet up with. What I do have is this forum and this family, however it is really hard some days to walk th...

Suzannah · Suzannah

This has got to be one of the happiest days (4 June) I have had for years. For the first time since my 21st birthday, I celebrated my birthday and even had a birthday cake, which I was able to share with friends. My daughter spent half an hour chatting to me. I received a plant and a balloon too. So wonderful....

QOD · QOD

This is great and I am so proud of myself for it. :) I went into my son's bedroom yesterday after work, looking for my flashlight. Well, I found 2 bongs on his floor, right out in the open. They were made out of plastic bottles and he had used my Pampered Chef Scissors to cut them. I was pissed. They re...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hey gang, If anyone lives in or around Washington DC on or near the Metro, would you send me a pm? Thanks, Maria

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

It started this morning, I had to urge him out the door (as usual). When my back was turned he said "Don't F*ckin b*tch at me" we had a couple words, but really I just took a deep breath and went to the car, I could hear him swearing from inside the house. We didn't talk until I came home just now. I...

kitty · kitty

Maybe it is just life or my inability to deal, cope in a balanced way... but it feels like the Bunny Hop, u know one jump forwards, two back. Sometimes it feels like I get an inch forward & fall 25 blocks back, from just a word or being in an unstable mood & being 'thrown from my serenity' but that is...

szeyamo · szeyamo

Another question from a newbie. Is seeking out Al-Anon support something that one can discuss with the A ... or do you just do your own part and say nothing?

kitty · kitty

I don't know why I am always so amazed when I feel love from others here but it is true. I have connections & attachments to so many wonderful, anonymous people here, whom of which I will never meet but we really do love each other. It is such a Blessing to be understood, accepted & not judged. So...

glad · glad

I am so sick and tired of him coming home "dead tired" and immediately sucking down as many beers as possible. There is no room for anything else between us. Yes, I know I'm lucky he's not at bars or beating me but ughh!! Then he wakes up in the mornings (with barely enough time to walk out the doo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

A few of you asked about the date, it fell through, I had stuff to get done, the guy called and was not able to come and I was actually kind of releived because I had so much other stuff to do. I DO have a date tonight though with a different guy... we'll see how that goes - will report! LOL

debilyn · debilyn

Have shared how my two grown kids will not be real with me. I have not called my son. Wanted to just leave him alone. had to call becuz i needed info from our shared family cells. he immediately went into a tirade at me. does not matter what, was all convaluted stuff from when he was a kid, blaming me for our fa...

nmike · nmike

My AHsober moved out 3 years ago today. Don't love you he said; never did. He threatened leaving, divorce for most of our 30 year marriage. For me there has been sadness and pain in these 3 years. He finally gave me divorce papers in January and then again in March. I made changes in red and wrote that he sho...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I was feeling a bit down today, cleaning rooms and prepping for dinner while waiting for my kids to come home from their fun-filled weekend with their dad. Then this email came from my sister - I never saw this one before. I thought immediately of all of you here at MIP. Not only does this apply...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...it's interesting what brings one to a standstill and why. I caught myself doing this today. I sat down at my desk and was thinking that it was time I sorted out some of the papers that had accumulated during this past week alone. When I finally got to the bottom of the pile I noticed that most of the pap...

Wilted · Wilted

Below is a letter I just sent to my AH. We have not talked for days and it is the only way I feel I can communicate with him without our butting our heads against a brick wall trying to communicate this orally. Our marriage has been based on lies and deception from the beginning of it almost 4 years ago, and I a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Family- I need your best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a job interview the afternoon of June 3rd. I very much want this job! But I know that if I do not get it, there is a better one coming!! Thank you for your love and support- Hugs, J.

mysticperl · mysticperl

There is a fairly new AA/Alanon right across the street from me & I want to go but I'm so scared to go. I know once I go to that first meeting that I won't be so afraid. I need to do something because I'm at my wits end! My brother is an alcoholic, my son is an alcoholic & my daughter is a drug addict &...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have been helping some friends put in a garden recently- vegetables. we put in these itsy bitsy teeny weeny tomato plants and then put these HUGE metal cages around them for climbing on and holding them up when they get big and start producing. I thought this was such a good picture of recovery. I fee...

Alaina · Alaina

I have been trying to deal with my sisters crack addiction for about the last 4 years. Over the years she has been arrested, gone to jail, faced prison time, lost her home, her car, her friends, etc..... In the begining we all tried to help her, bailing her out, enabling her behavior. Knowing we were not h...

tsc2094 · tsc2094

i am just not sure where to turn or what to do anymore, In July of 2003 i left a very abusive alcoholic relationship with my husband, and i was looking for another relationship when along comes my high school sweetheart, he was recently separated and going through much of what i was going through at the ti...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

As he retired, he said: "I have known fear and the terrors of solitude. I have known those fair-weather friends we call tranquilizers and drugs. I have known the prison of depression and the confinement of hospital. But one day, I was able to come through all of that, dazzled yet sober."

Amh2amd · Amh2amd

Hi All I am new on this site today, looking for some advice really. I split from my husband 18mth ago because of his drinking, I could no longer hide it from my daughter 9 years old at time. Since then he has carried on drinking, letting my daughter down forgetting what day he said he will see her, he has been...

maresie · maresie

I spent my entire life being over reactive. I was at my worst with the A in total overkill all the time. I was like a hair trigger gong off the deep end at any moment. I would call him at least 20 times a day. Talk about giving my power over to him. I'd call and rant and at him or beg him to come home. Of course I...

hush · hush

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...

HaloGirl · HaloGirl

I grew up in an environment where talking about sad things or painful feelings was not encouraged. Often I had to suppress my feelings. I was told and taught not to pay attention to situations in my life, which were painful. Often times I felt empty inside. I dont like to play the victim; but for the fir...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((Friends)))))), Tom's post touched my heart and as many of you know, I lost my "adopted mom" last week and did her eulogy. At the end of the service, so many relatives and friends told me that my words captured the true essence of her. One even shared that though he did not know her prior...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am starting to get itchy feet again, I am having thoughts of moving to where I don't know for sure (Diva???). I have been irritated with changes at my job that make it more difficult, I am frustrated with working two jobs and most of all I am FED UP with the schools here. I have accumulated too much stuff...

glad · glad

I had some really good stuff happen this weekend that I may put in another post but I need to vent about a crazy dream first please. Quick background: All weekend A/ BF seemed in a "daze". Most weekends he will at least make some small attempt to connect a little (NEVER deep but he will at le...

Jorbax · Jorbax

Ok.......recap.....allowed 58 yr old brother to move in with us.....apparently a binge type drinker......lost his "new" job due to drinking episodes 3 weeks ago.... I 've been to 3 f2f mtgs.....just haven't been able to get back in over a week (kiddos are now out of school for summer and...

laurab · laurab

Hi All, I've been coming here every day and reading everything. It is a great help and I thank you all. I am trying hard to do things again. We went to the movies. We are seeing friends again. I get distressed when I am having a good time, and then my A Son flashes through my head and I start wondering where he i...

meagain · meagain

I am really trying to be positive and working on "recovery". I am trying to be assertiv e in a loving way. My oldest son (35) more or less accused me of their marriage problems. My Ex AH always mentally abused me. Now I find my son is doing the exact same thing. This I will not except. I tried whe...

hush · hush

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. "I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman. I spe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	drinking again (Preview) i was married to my a for 17 pretty miserable years, cheating, lying, spending money, dui, etc. then he left me for another woman. when i filed for divorce he begged me to take him back. i prayed about it and felt thats what i should do. he went to aa, quit drinking, we went to church and got saved, hung out...	connie marie	4	490	Jun 10, 2008 by Tuggboat
	New online (Preview) Hello, John sent me an email this morning and I decided to take him up on the offer. I have been in Al-Anon for about 23 years. I have held many service positions. Right now I am the District Rep. for my district. I was the DR. ten years ago, when there was a lot of people in the program and a lot more meetin...	Cad	5	325	Jun 10, 2008 by SuSUN
	any grandmothers out there?? (Preview) I apparently have been in a conflict with my oldest son. His actions so remind me of my exA. He has shown me not much respect. I have detached...but have left a few messages, because I want to see my Gkids. No response....It has been over a month. This is not fair to the kids..we spent so much time together...	meagain	7	302	Jun 10, 2008 by adc3041
	It's all gone in an eye blink (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to the board. My friend is 19 yrs clean and has been a godsend to me. So here's my story... Both my sons are 21 and 18. I'm in a second marriage on 4 years now to a wonderful and loving man. We were introduced by my oldest and his middle son. My oldest son Nick (now 21) has always been d...	debbi	9	492	Jun 10, 2008 by Bettina
	I'm Back!!! And this isn't a good thing! (Preview) So here I am again. It has been a LONG time since I have been on here. Some of you may remember me...some don't know me at all. History: I married my highschool sweetheart when I was 18 and pregnant in the 12th grade. We were married for 15 years. We had a son and daughter in that time, ages now 15 yo son in A...	QOD	13	500	Jun 10, 2008 by Bettina
	how codependence distorted my reality (Preview) I'm at a place not where I am more interested in what I did in the relationship(s) that what the A did. I'm saying that not to minimize what he did (obviously it was incredibly self destructive) but to look at what did I do. Overtime and reading I'm really seeing that when I was in rescue mode, in victim mod...	maresie	6	1203	Jun 10, 2008 by maresie
	Hard Time Dealing (My Story) (Preview) I feel lost right now. I am the son of an A and I am sitting here watching a family fall apart and there is nothing I can do about it. My Father, who in hindsight probably was always an alcoholic but had always been able to put on the brakes when things started getting out of hand can't now. For the past 18 mo...	shawn306	9	544	Jun 10, 2008 by Cad
	changing the focus (Preview) I had a rough week last week. Thus, I have been trying to make a conscious effort thie past few days, mostly by prayer, to get my emotions away from my AH and onto myself and my kids. Uhhh, and its just as difficult as I thought it would be. Now I am finding myself getting mad. What set me off first thing this...	Loupiness	5	387	Jun 10, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Prayers please. (Preview) (((((Family)))), Hubby and I could really use lots of prayers right now. It has nothing to do with his drinking (or not). He has some health issues and it doesn't look good right now. No one knows besides his Dad and myself. I found out yesterday. He's been carrying this around for almost 10 months...	Karilynn	17	510	Jun 10, 2008 by lebe27
	I AM Nuts! (Preview) ... one word or a phrase can set me off by anyone that knows me. I am very emotional and most days, honestly am pretty reactive. So the days when I'm cool, calm, collected are the rare ones... and just b/c I don't outwardly say any thing, my brain is likely having a nutty conversation all by itself. Then...	kitty	4	418	Jun 10, 2008 by stariana
	small update (Preview) Hi, thank you for all your support and words.I read them all over and over.The thoughts also come up in my head. Son called me, we had a nice normal conversation. I told him thank you for callind. He said if this is what it takes I will keep checking in. Was soooooo nice. Daughter apologised then went on to s...	debilyn	3	297	Jun 10, 2008 by Rita G
	New, and introduction (Preview) Hi, My name is Bobbi. I am married to an alcoholic, and also the adult child of an alcoholic (my Dad who died when I was 19). I have been married for 2 years to my AH, but we lived together for 2 before that. He is verbally abusive when he drinks, and I reached my breaking point with all of it. I told him about...	BK911	7	597	Jun 10, 2008 by RLC
	The weekend (Preview) I took my kids to the beach on Saturday. A guy friend and his 7 yo son went with us. I gave my son the option to stay with his dad instead of going with us. He doesn't really care for the beach or the heat and sand. So he called his dad, of course he didn't get an answer at 8:00 AM. He decided to go with us, said...	QOD	4	329	Jun 10, 2008 by Karilynn
	Expectations (Preview) (((family))) I want to pass along some ESH that may be valuable. Collectively, we need to get past the question of "why?". Why does he/she __________? That blank can be anything for them; however, it is a path that leads to the dangerous places in my head. I have found that keeping the fo...	CJ	7	432	Jun 10, 2008 by Andrea12
	Live the question (Preview) Hi Alanoners , So glad that you are always here. I went to my f2f meeting this morning. Right before the meeting my AHSober calls me. He did it again. I thought we agreed to met to have supper with our son home from college. He was pleasant enough and then on the phone, he bombed me. He made an offer on land wit...	nmike	3	490	Jun 10, 2008 by Andrea12
	Ups and downs and thank you's and prayer request (Preview) I want to thank everyone for the lovely and very encouraging responses to my recent posts and for the lovely birthday wishes that you all expressed. The after glow certainly got me through the rest of last week. This week, however, is a different kettle of fish and tomorrow is going to be very testing, s...	Suzannah	2	289	Jun 9, 2008 by Suzannah
	asking for hugs of love and light for me (Preview) just checking in with my mip family, i have a lot to post about, there is a little chaos going on right now so i don't have much time to type. when i stepped back from the situation with my ah and took myself out to look at me, my mind started to get alittle clear, i love my self and there are people out there tha...	charr	7	563	Jun 9, 2008 by carosie
	June Meeting Minutes (Preview) JUNE 1, 2008 MEETING MINUTES Of MIRACLES IN PROGRESS ALANON GROUP Madam Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. Madam Chair then posted an outline of the evening's meeting agenda. Madam Chair noted that the Sec. was absent and asked for a volunteer to take meeting minutes in the Sec's a...	jonibaloni21	1	473	Jun 9, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Life is Interesting (Preview) Ok, so I quit my pain in the butt job and the next day I was home to receive a phone call from a local Doctor's office that wants me in for an interview on Wednesday. And now for the last few days I've been trying my hardest to keep my tounge in check because my MIND and TEMPER are working overtime due to hormon...	JenniferN	3	443	Jun 9, 2008 by kitty
	One Day Great, the Next Day Not So Much (Preview) I got a call from my son's school this morning. The school psychologist called him in to "talk" and see if she can figure out what some of his issues are and how we can help him. Well, needless to say, he wasn't there. He is skipping school today!!! And on top of that he told me this morning tha...	QOD	7	321	Jun 8, 2008 by Peggy7
	can someone who qualified as an "A" before ever drink "normally" (Preview) Hi. I sought out this board because I have a question and no one to answer it. My husband is from a family of alcoholics. He drank as a teenager, and then stopped when he was about 21 (DUI). Then started again for about 3 years before I met him, at 28. We've been married happily for 12 years, without any drink...	szeyamo	14	685	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	Enabling vs. Detachment (Preview) Hi all... we've had lots of great discussion on the board in recent weeks about the subjects of "enabling" and "detachment", so I thought I'd post some great information about both of these items, direct from an expert in the field..... Hope it clarifies some of the misconcep...	canadianguy	4	2935	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	44 years old, NOW WHAT? Family pizza epiphany... (Preview) Hello, So here I am all grown up and mature. Self reflective and saddned by my weaknesses and having developed skills to combat them to some extent. So my question is...? Yes, I grew up in isolation and chaos with two alcoholic parents who where both likely personality disordered or mentally ill in a...	junehouse	11	747	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	The fine line between love & hate (Preview) I have never posted my own topic on here, only replied to others. I seem to gain strength from reading other peoples problems and the responses they receive. So bear with me - I NEVER ask for help. One of my "wonderful" coping skills learned very young! ahahaha My life in a nutshell... daug...	stariana	8	662	Jun 7, 2008 by Loupiness
	Uggghhh, not again!!! (Preview) Well brothers and sisters, I am having a very difficult time, once again, with my oldest son. Who has graduated from high school. By the skin of his teeth. Now we are working on gettng grants, scholarships, or loans for his college education. None of which he wants to participate in. I have tried to talk...	wildthang86	9	515	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	just a thought (Preview) This morning in the meeting the topics were detachment and gratitude...as I sat here pondering the topics a thought came to mind. When I am detaching I can be in a mindset of gratitude. I know for me gratitude aids me in keeping my serenity. When I am feeling grateful for all I do have I do feel I'm in a pla...	carosie	5	406	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	progress, wallow, restart (Preview) Hi family, I know lots of the slogans now like aware, accept, action etc but my mode of operation seems to be progress, then the slip or regression that can follow sneaks up on me and I wallow so much I don't even realize what has come over me so I could give myself 15 min of self pity. It takes me days to becom...	ddub	5	491	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	Longing for social interaction... (Preview) Still find it hard to work this programme by myself. As some of the family are aware, there are no f2f meetings in my area and so I do not have that option. And, I do not have a sponsor on hand to telephone or meet up with. What I do have is this forum and this family, however it is really hard some days to walk th...	Suzannah	5	425	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	My birthday (Preview) This has got to be one of the happiest days (4 June) I have had for years. For the first time since my 21st birthday, I celebrated my birthday and even had a birthday cake, which I was able to share with friends. My daughter spent half an hour chatting to me. I received a plant and a balloon too. So wonderful....	Suzannah	17	485	Jun 7, 2008 by cookie1971
	Proud of how I handled this!! (Preview) This is great and I am so proud of myself for it. :) I went into my son's bedroom yesterday after work, looking for my flashlight. Well, I found 2 bongs on his floor, right out in the open. They were made out of plastic bottles and he had used my Pampered Chef Scissors to cut them. I was pissed. They re...	QOD	7	578	Jun 6, 2008 by Jen
	anyone in or around Washington, DC (Preview) Hey gang, If anyone lives in or around Washington DC on or near the Metro, would you send me a pm? Thanks, Maria	Maria123	5	579	Jun 5, 2008 by Maria123
	Angry and verbally abusive (Preview) It started this morning, I had to urge him out the door (as usual). When my back was turned he said "Don't Fckin btch at me" we had a couple words, but really I just took a deep breath and went to the car, I could hear him swearing from inside the house. We didn't talk until I came home just now. I...	RainyJamie	13	497	Jun 5, 2008 by debbi
	the Bunny Hop (encouraging) (Preview) Maybe it is just life or my inability to deal, cope in a balanced way... but it feels like the Bunny Hop, u know one jump forwards, two back. Sometimes it feels like I get an inch forward & fall 25 blocks back, from just a word or being in an unstable mood & being 'thrown from my serenity' but that is...	kitty	5	385	Jun 5, 2008 by Phebe
	Does one discuss going to Al-Anon with the A? (Preview) Another question from a newbie. Is seeking out Al-Anon support something that one can discuss with the A ... or do you just do your own part and say nothing?	szeyamo	10	688	Jun 5, 2008 by szeyamo
	genuine love in the Program ( TY ) (Preview) I don't know why I am always so amazed when I feel love from others here but it is true. I have connections & attachments to so many wonderful, anonymous people here, whom of which I will never meet but we really do love each other. It is such a Blessing to be understood, accepted & not judged. So...	kitty	3	535	Jun 5, 2008 by Peggy7
	Experiment: What happens when you air your dirty laundry? (Preview) I am so sick and tired of him coming home "dead tired" and immediately sucking down as many beers as possible. There is no room for anything else between us. Yes, I know I'm lucky he's not at bars or beating me but ughh!! Then he wakes up in the mornings (with barely enough time to walk out the doo...	glad	7	651	Jun 4, 2008 by kitty
	The date (Preview) A few of you asked about the date, it fell through, I had stuff to get done, the guy called and was not able to come and I was actually kind of releived because I had so much other stuff to do. I DO have a date tonight though with a different guy... we'll see how that goes - will report! LOL	carolinagirl	8	531	Jun 4, 2008 by Becky1
	This hurts too dang much (Preview) Have shared how my two grown kids will not be real with me. I have not called my son. Wanted to just leave him alone. had to call becuz i needed info from our shared family cells. he immediately went into a tirade at me. does not matter what, was all convaluted stuff from when he was a kid, blaming me for our fa...	debilyn	14	779	Jun 4, 2008 by Becky1
	June 2 for me (Preview) My AHsober moved out 3 years ago today. Don't love you he said; never did. He threatened leaving, divorce for most of our 30 year marriage. For me there has been sadness and pain in these 3 years. He finally gave me divorce papers in January and then again in March. I made changes in red and wrote that he sho...	nmike	6	385	Jun 4, 2008 by Becky1
	The Invisible Mom (Preview) Hi Friends, I was feeling a bit down today, cleaning rooms and prepping for dinner while waiting for my kids to come home from their fun-filled weekend with their dad. Then this email came from my sister - I never saw this one before. I thought immediately of all of you here at MIP. Not only does this apply...	Loupiness	6	554	Jun 4, 2008 by stariana
	Stop, look, listen... (Preview) ...it's interesting what brings one to a standstill and why. I caught myself doing this today. I sat down at my desk and was thinking that it was time I sorted out some of the papers that had accumulated during this past week alone. When I finally got to the bottom of the pile I noticed that most of the pap...	Suzannah	2	370	Jun 4, 2008 by nmike
	Sometimes a letter is the only way..... (Preview) Below is a letter I just sent to my AH. We have not talked for days and it is the only way I feel I can communicate with him without our butting our heads against a brick wall trying to communicate this orally. Our marriage has been based on lies and deception from the beginning of it almost 4 years ago, and I a...	Wilted	5	559	Jun 3, 2008 by ESH
	Please send positive thoughts June 3rd (Preview) Family- I need your best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a job interview the afternoon of June 3rd. I very much want this job! But I know that if I do not get it, there is a better one coming!! Thank you for your love and support- Hugs, J.	Jean4444	11	684	Jun 3, 2008 by ESH
	I want to go to Alanon Meeting but why am I scared to go? (Preview) There is a fairly new AA/Alanon right across the street from me & I want to go but I'm so scared to go. I know once I go to that first meeting that I won't be so afraid. I need to do something because I'm at my wits end! My brother is an alcoholic, my son is an alcoholic & my daughter is a drug addict &...	mysticperl	9	1002	Jun 3, 2008 by DD
	the tiny tomato plant (Preview) I have been helping some friends put in a garden recently- vegetables. we put in these itsy bitsy teeny weeny tomato plants and then put these HUGE metal cages around them for climbing on and holding them up when they get big and start producing. I thought this was such a good picture of recovery. I fee...	Jean4444	4	505	Jun 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	New and need support (Preview) I have been trying to deal with my sisters crack addiction for about the last 4 years. Over the years she has been arrested, gone to jail, faced prison time, lost her home, her car, her friends, etc..... In the begining we all tried to help her, bailing her out, enabling her behavior. Knowing we were not h...	Alaina	8	532	Jun 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	i am not sure what to do anymore..... (Preview) i am just not sure where to turn or what to do anymore, In July of 2003 i left a very abusive alcoholic relationship with my husband, and i was looking for another relationship when along comes my high school sweetheart, he was recently separated and going through much of what i was going through at the ti...	tsc2094	4	414	Jun 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	Yves Saint Laurant quote (he just passed away) (Preview) As he retired, he said: "I have known fear and the terrors of solitude. I have known those fair-weather friends we call tranquilizers and drugs. I have known the prison of depression and the confinement of hospital. But one day, I was able to come through all of that, dazzled yet sober."	Jean4444	3	355	Jun 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	New here today (Preview) Hi All I am new on this site today, looking for some advice really. I split from my husband 18mth ago because of his drinking, I could no longer hide it from my daughter 9 years old at time. Since then he has carried on drinking, letting my daughter down forgetting what day he said he will see her, he has been...	Amh2amd	12	487	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	Not being overreactive (Preview) I spent my entire life being over reactive. I was at my worst with the A in total overkill all the time. I was like a hair trigger gong off the deep end at any moment. I would call him at least 20 times a day. Talk about giving my power over to him. I'd call and rant and at him or beg him to come home. Of course I...	maresie	4	434	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	My First F2F Al-Anon Meeting Today... (Preview) I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...	hush	5	469	Jun 2, 2008 by canadianguy
	How does one rewire his or hers entire history? (Preview) I grew up in an environment where talking about sad things or painful feelings was not encouraged. Often I had to suppress my feelings. I was told and taught not to pay attention to situations in my life, which were painful. Often times I felt empty inside. I dont like to play the victim; but for the fir...	HaloGirl	9	689	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	My "adopted mom" Connie (Preview) (((((Friends)))))), Tom's post touched my heart and as many of you know, I lost my "adopted mom" last week and did her eulogy. At the end of the service, so many relatives and friends told me that my words captured the true essence of her. One even shared that though he did not know her prior...	Maria123	10	1098	Jun 2, 2008 by carosie
	Having the urge to shake it up (Preview) I am starting to get itchy feet again, I am having thoughts of moving to where I don't know for sure (Diva???). I have been irritated with changes at my job that make it more difficult, I am frustrated with working two jobs and most of all I am FED UP with the schools here. I have accumulated too much stuff...	carolinagirl	9	660	Jun 2, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Crazy dream! Thank you HP there is a meeting tomorrow night!! (Preview) I had some really good stuff happen this weekend that I may put in another post but I need to vent about a crazy dream first please. Quick background: All weekend A/ BF seemed in a "daze". Most weekends he will at least make some small attempt to connect a little (NEVER deep but he will at le...	glad	1	508	Jun 2, 2008 by nmike
	Newbie to all of this....need help (Preview) Ok.......recap.....allowed 58 yr old brother to move in with us.....apparently a binge type drinker......lost his "new" job due to drinking episodes 3 weeks ago.... I 've been to 3 f2f mtgs.....just haven't been able to get back in over a week (kiddos are now out of school for summer and...	Jorbax	7	583	Jun 2, 2008 by nmike
	Ups and Downs (Preview) Hi All, I've been coming here every day and reading everything. It is a great help and I thank you all. I am trying hard to do things again. We went to the movies. We are seeing friends again. I get distressed when I am having a good time, and then my A Son flashes through my head and I start wondering where he i...	laurab	5	355	Jun 1, 2008 by DebbiP
	I am trying to change!! (Preview) I am really trying to be positive and working on "recovery". I am trying to be assertiv e in a loving way. My oldest son (35) more or less accused me of their marriage problems. My Ex AH always mentally abused me. Now I find my son is doing the exact same thing. This I will not except. I tried whe...	meagain	3	469	Jun 1, 2008 by Peggy7
	My First F2F Al-Anon Meeting Today... (Preview) I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...	hush	1	330	Jun 1, 2008 by Peggy7
	Melody B is the best... (Preview) Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. "I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman. I spe...	Jean4444	7	592	Jun 1, 2008 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.