The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I took my kids to the beach on Saturday. A guy friend and his 7 yo son went with us. I gave my son the option to stay with his dad instead of going with us. He doesn't really care for the beach or the heat and sand. So he called his dad, of course he didn't get an answer at 8:00 AM. He decided to go with us, said it sounded fun.
Well, we got there and he refused to put on sunblock. He is fair skinned just like me and we burn like lobsters. He knows this. He said he cannot stand sunblock b/c it is sticky and nasty feeling. I usually fight with him and force him to put on the sunblock all summer, every summer. This time I said, "Well, whatever. But you are going to regret it." He said, "I'll be fine."
After one hour he said it was time to leave. I told him that I didn't drive 2 hours to get to the beach to stay 1 hour. He said he was getting burnt and it was time to leave. I told him to put on sunblock, if he was getting burnt. I suggested putting on his t-shirt or getting into the water or going to sit in the car. But I was not leaving. And I was not making my friend and his son leave either just b/c my teenage son wants to be an !
We ended up leaving around 2:00. So we only stayed for 3 hours, which was long enough in the 100 degree temp. We we got home, my son was getting ready to take a shower and saw his sunburn (he was fried!!). He calls up to me (I was in my bedroom) - "Mom, look at me! When someone says it is time to leave, then that means it is time to leave!!" I looked at him like he was the worlds biggest selfish idiot....and I said really calm "When your mother tells you to put on sunblock, maybe next time you will do it."
So then he complained all night, refused to put on the Aloe w/Lidocaine b/c it was TOO STICKY! 3 kid. I talked him into taking a warm bath w/Epson Salts and that seemed to help a bit. He finally but reluctantly started using the aloe. He whined all day Sunday too and tried to use his sunburn as an excuse to skip school today. I told him he only had 2 more 1/2 days of school and he WAS going! So off he went this morning. All I can do is hope he actually went.
We had another weekend too of no calls or visits from my ex. My kids miss their dad so much and act out terribly when they expect him to show up and he doesn't. He is off running around with his friends and his new girlfriend (the kids don't know about the girlfriend and it is not my place to tell them). So the new girlfriend is just another person my ex has chosen to put before his kids. He has always put his friend before me and the kids....and now that our marriage is over, he still continues to do that to the kids. He claims that he cannot see the kids b/c he is trying to get over me. He doesn't know that I know about the new girlfriend. But to me, I'd say he is over me. Of course, I don't think he was all that into me anyways over our 15 years of marriage. His friends and girlfriends always came before me then too. I just can't stand that he is doing this to our kids.....and blames me for his distance. What a jerk!
Now is a great time for the Senerity Prayer. You did a wonderful job dealing with all the situations that came up. Imagine dealing with the same situations without the Program. I continue to be amazed at this Program, and how it improves our everday life. Practice, practice, practice, that is all that is required. That is exactly what you did!!! RLC
Oh MAN! I wanted to tell your kid to stick the sunblock!!!! I have a 13 year old who knows almost everything, by 14 she should be ready to rule the world! UGH! So annoying! You did great at loving him despite his teenage stupidity.
So, your ex's excuse for not seeing the kids is you??? So, it is STILL all YOUR fault? Yeah, my ex decided that 3rd party supervised visitation was too "sterile" and therefore he doesn't want to see the kids at all. His way or no way. The kids don't know that ofcourse. They don't know why he stopped seeing them. It really is sickening and my ex is "sober" and "in the program". Yup. That is NOT sick or a DISEASE, that is pure evil, IMO.
You are a great mom ((((QOD))))! I know how hard it is to not just tell the kids that their father is well, what he is. And to not do so is incredible. Keep posting because this is where I get the knowledge to raise my kids in a healthier way than I was raised. Thanks for sharing!
You did really well not giving in to his demands. Life's a and you should enjoy it. I had this teenage girl in the store yesterday telling me what I should know about sneakers and how to sell them. Her mother apologized for her, which I appreciated. But I was watching the two of them battle and am reminded that as much as I love kids, I'm glad it's just hubby and I along with Pipers. I could not do what you parents do everyday. You are all amazing! Hopefully your son's sunburn is getting better. I take a baby aspirin to dull the ache. It works really well. Enjoy the summer. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
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and you should enjoy it. I had this teenage girl in the store yesterday telling me what I should know about sneakers and how to sell them. Her mother apologized for her, which I appreciated. But I was watching the two of them battle and am reminded that as much as I love kids, I'm glad it's just hubby and I along with Pipers. I could not do what you parents do everyday. You are all amazing! 
Hopefully your son's sunburn is getting better. I take a baby aspirin to dull the ache. It works really well. Enjoy the summer. Much love and blessings to you and your family.