Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

thetalady · thetalady

My AH will be having surgery in two weeks. When he saw the surgeon, he lied on the paperwork and did not indicate how much he drinks every day. I noticed yesterday that he has the shakes whenever he goes without drinking. I'm a bit concerned with the upcoming surgery. I know by his not being honest with the...

Brizzle Gal · Brizzle Gal

I have been with my girlfriend since May 2007. She drinks intermittently and has had about 8 episodes (they last 7-14 days during which she drinks non-stop) since we got together, the last one started on Monday and she is still in the thick of it now. I spoke to her this morning and she promised me faithfu...

gaelle · gaelle

Good morning to all, I didn't think being back on this board as life has been pretty quiet and good but life never stops to bring surprises (good or bad). I frequented a sober A (we were already friend from many years before) and after a year, we took the decision to stop it. It has been an hard decision as i...

ImOnlyMe · ImOnlyMe

Okay so I am new to this, and I'm currently in the "wow I'm stupid...i'm not really alone" phase. My story goes back a few years, to the beginning of my relationship with my husband. We've known each other for years, since we were kids almost, but hadn't talked since high school. When we start...

suzim · suzim

I will try and make my story short so here goes.... I met my BF 2 years ago. We started dating and he had said a few times how he like to take pills (downers mostly). I didn't really think anything of it. He was very functional and when we were together we had a good time. Well...a few months passed and I notice...

bunnyboiler · bunnyboiler

my close friend is a chronic alcoholic , however his family are not aware just how bad his drinking is or how mental depressed ans physically ill he is . his mother died when he was ten and his brother is ten years younger than him and he raised him. i emailed his brother and told him i was concerned about him...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((((((friends)))))))))))) Today is my son's last day of probation. It should have been five years, but because he violated his probation, it has been eight long years. He is working hard and doing well. He has been clean for 3 1/2 years. I just had to share the good news with you dear friends a...

buick23 · buick23

I had a car problem today. I called my Asober after I stopped the car and he started yelling at me. He told me to drive it home and he would take a look at it then. I was afraid to drive it home but did anyway. I got home and he started getting an attitude about having to look at my car. After a while he took a loo...

liljeannie · liljeannie

In a previous post, I explained how my abf relapsed after 35 days. Part of the reason for his relapse, or his excuse for it anyway, is that he is facing demotion, he is currently a sargent in the Army National Guard. The reason he is facing demotion is because he has always been the party boy, and after 6...

liljeannie · liljeannie

While I posted here last night, my abf went to blockbuster and got himself a pint. He came home barely able to stand and spent the better part of an hour face down on the living room floor. I have to say that though I was disappointed and shocked, I didnt react! I felt so proud of me. I simply went about m...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi All, Well I went upstate Thurs. nite to pick up AH on Friday a.m. from rehab. I was getting cold feet about him coming home on Thurs. nite, called him on my way up and told him that. He was sweet as pie, told me it was all gonna be good. Later that night, he called me, said he loved me and couldn't wait to s...

buick23 · buick23

Well I took care of my car myself after him trying to give me guilttrips about it and waiting on him to do something about it. He has been in a bad mood for days now since he lost his job and has been taking it out on me. My car problem seemed to be just another reason for him to get upset. I was not sure if I would m...

maresie · maresie

I'm on my way to a job interview. You all know I am in a finacial super sticky superglue mess because of living with an A for 7 years. A job, a real job, rather than a job which is really just another entanglement with an A is needed greatly. Please spare me a few prayers. I need to move onto another plateau s...

AJ · AJ

My AH and I have been separated for almost 3 months. He's been living at a 1/2way house for 2 weeks 2 days. We spent the afternoon/evening together today and things were going well...until I found a couple of small flakes of weed on my bathroom floor. I was immediately taken aback from that discovery....

Sincerely · Sincerely

Tomorrow will be my AH 30 days. Hi Five Hubby! What is different today than when he was drinking? He is sober. I am working on myself. I have been cooking and keeping the house up. He is working in the yard........ What is the same? We still don't talk much. We still aren't very inimate. We still do...

cstwwt · cstwwt

Hi All, I've been here reading and posting (sometimes) for over a year. I have a complicated situation and am looking for insight. My AH is sober for 26 months, and went through out patient recovery and then started attending 3 meetings a week, one is an AA meeting, one a recovery group meeting and th...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))))), I thank all of you for your love and prayers at this incredibly difficult time. It has meant the world to me to know how much you all cared about him as well as Pipers and I. We had the funeral on Friday in the Catskills. He was cremated and in the fall we will spread his ashes over his fav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks to all who read my grief-filled post. I am doing OK but still have to face the memorial service with his family. I am going to be fine though because I have faith in my Higher Power that He will get me through this loss. For those of you who didn't get a chance to read it, my dear friend, a 22 year winner...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Today was a good day, seems that over the past few days, good is more prevalent than bad. I believe I have finally learned the true meaning of detachment, and for me, thats a huge and powerful thing. Sobriety has only been with us for 35 days, but already I am learning to bite my tongue when I feel my own tr...

buterfli13 · buterfli13

I've been in a relationship with an alchohlic for over 3 years now. Of course when we were only dating I did not know that drinking was a daily habit of his, it wasn't until several months into our relationahip that this became evedent. He knows he is an alchoholic but he is a self proclamed "f...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Yep, new shoes, a new purse and some gum, that is what I bought for myself yesterday. I know, sounds silly (or maybe not, thus this post), but it was eventful for me. I haven't bought new shoes in a very long time. Now, it is not like I walk around barefoot or in ratty shoes, but I got tired of the same 'ol sa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I am feeling a loss that I can't seem to shake. I guess it is still brand-new in my heart because it happened on Saturday. One of most trusted servants and loveable soul died. His spirit will live on. He was sober for 22 years. I was introduced to Al-anon that same year although I didn't meet him u...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Todays a tough day. Having thoughts about my ex way too much. He called me last night, and we talked for 2 minutes. He sounded good. He needed to let someone else use the phone and asked me to call him back. Well, I didnt. Then he called me this morning asking why I didnt call him back. I changed the su...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, his brother is going to get him from jail. It will be middle of the night when they get in so I shouldn't even have to think about it tonight. His mom went out of town today and told him she would see him Sunday. He said okay. She asked him if he was going to be at my house and he said yes. I am just taking...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After more than 6yrs with my abf, four of which we have been living together, all of which I had been accepted and made to feel a part of his family, I was deliberately excluded from a family occasion. I couldnt understand why, and when I asked him about it, he just mumbled a bunch of half hearted excuses a...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Hello "Family" Just wanted to share with all of you my excellent news: I am now employed at our local hospital in the medical records dept transcribing. I'm not sure how this will effect my relationship with my sober ABF. He has had some difficulties in the past few weeks dealing with him not...

buick23 · buick23

This is my first post. My bf quit drinking 3 months ago, going to rehab, AA. I feel like I'm not a part of his life anymore and don't know how to deal with it. We hardly talk about anything, he is emotionally unavailable. I feel isolated from him and I don't know how to find the answers about what behaviour is...

SammyQ · SammyQ

Hi guys, My mother has struggled with alcohol since her teens to about 4 months ago (she's in her 50's now). To make a long story short, I thought how I grew up was normal, and that I was the abnormal one. I now know that it was quite the opposite! About 4 months ago my mother attempted AA (yet again). For the f...

RLC · RLC

As I was just reading posts on MIP (11:35pm) I looked down and saw a piece of paper with my name at the top. Sometimes it is nothing wrong with being #1, especially with college football season approaching and all. Anyway-------------. Something make me think this list was left so I would see it. It was...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My soon to be ex-AH is in intensive recovery, and has been for 9 months. He goes to 5 AA meetings a week, 2 professional groups, a relapse recovery program and personal counseling. I have done a really good job with detachment in regards to his recovery, but I know it is more a matter of my being forced out...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi All, I have been w/my husband for over 23 years, 14 of which he was in recovery without a single relapse until a few years ago, and it was hell ever since. Lost his health, job and treated his family the typical way an alcoholic treats their family. In the beginning of July, I made AH leave our house a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

This is from a bookmark I got from MelloRon in Honolulu. Ron, if you are out there reading this, thank you for this piece that you gave me, it has gotten me through some very difficult times and leads me every single day. I do not know if it is an al anon thing or a Ron thing or something else but it sure works fo...

maire rua · maire rua

My chronic alcoholic step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer in the last two months. It is slow growing but she has started to dehydrate and is falling down a lot. She has also been diagnosed with diabetes. Her daughters my half sisters know at this stage and though not as much in denial as what th...

suzip · suzip

My first post here have gotten so much from reading everyone. My A is turning himself in for a 6 month jail term for his 3rd DUI. This gives me hope thinking maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit to make some positive changes in his life. It is hard being with someone and knowing they are not living up to the...

Codependent · Codependent

I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be. I can fantasize about the life I could have with him. When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life tha...

Codependent · Codependent

that you all are right that I obviously don't know yet what I want to do. I feel like I want to say no to some things, but fear that I won't be able to do this when the time comes. Like Jerry said maybe I am not convinced. Though I feel like I am convinced, just also that I am ashamed that I have not been able to,...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I'm curious why giving advice is discouraged in alanon. I've only been to one face to face meeting and part of what I didn't like about it was there was no feedback. I guess I just don't understand or haven't caught on yet.

Codependent · Codependent

It does look like he is going to get out tomorrow or Friday. His mom is going out of town and told me that she told his brother to bring him to my house. I told her I just wasn't really sure about that after giving it some thought. She went on to ask me just to "take care of him for the weekend" unti...

maresie · maresie

I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior. My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources. I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. At the same time no matter what the situation I feel jus...

xjuliax · xjuliax

Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...

maresie · maresie

After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...

serenity041807 · serenity041807

I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...

david62 · david62

(((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...

J.R. · J.R.

I just started this forum today, and already replied to a post before even saying hello to yall. So, I figured I might was well do it before it gets too late.

charlescharles · charlescharles

..into my own madness here as my a is really just a huge pain in my ass but i can not get rid of her stifling i say and i am going to meetings and hopefully doing the right things and the trust is basically dead...and i am trying hard not to let her in my home...and i picked up the phone and its starting all over ag...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

Just some thoughts I'm having. I have posted a couple times. I have received responses, more than I was expecting. Some were overwhelming to me. I could not absorb the concepts that were being shared. I did get some things out of the responses though. I hope its ok. I was initially thinking I would post h...

Codependent · Codependent

If you read my previous post you know that my A is getting out of jail this week- probably by Friday and he is "planning" to come to my house. These are tentative plans because we had spoken of it, but now that it is coming to a date I am getting nervous and I can tell he is as well. He offered to go t...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Just when I thought things were getting on track BOOM!! Off the track again. I have been working my program and it has been working. I have been in therapy, and have been feeling quite well. Then last night my 22 year old daughter informs me that when her and AH went out for drinks about a month ago, he hit on...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria

mo14 · mo14

Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...

lmw · lmw

As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...

afglin · afglin

My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Do I Stick My Nose In (Preview) My AH will be having surgery in two weeks. When he saw the surgeon, he lied on the paperwork and did not indicate how much he drinks every day. I noticed yesterday that he has the shakes whenever he goes without drinking. I'm a bit concerned with the upcoming surgery. I know by his not being honest with the...	thetalady	8	483	Aug 11, 2008 by canadianguy
	Binge Drinker (Preview) I have been with my girlfriend since May 2007. She drinks intermittently and has had about 8 episodes (they last 7-14 days during which she drinks non-stop) since we got together, the last one started on Monday and she is still in the thick of it now. I spoke to her this morning and she promised me faithfu...	Brizzle Gal	5	450	Aug 11, 2008 by Brizzle Gal
	Don't know what i should with him... (Preview) Good morning to all, I didn't think being back on this board as life has been pretty quiet and good but life never stops to bring surprises (good or bad). I frequented a sober A (we were already friend from many years before) and after a year, we took the decision to stop it. It has been an hard decision as i...	gaelle	7	524	Aug 11, 2008 by gaelle
	Here I go (Preview) Okay so I am new to this, and I'm currently in the "wow I'm stupid...i'm not really alone" phase. My story goes back a few years, to the beginning of my relationship with my husband. We've known each other for years, since we were kids almost, but hadn't talked since high school. When we start...	ImOnlyMe	9	347	Aug 10, 2008 by ImOnlyMe
	I'm new here and need some guidance.... (Preview) I will try and make my story short so here goes.... I met my BF 2 years ago. We started dating and he had said a few times how he like to take pills (downers mostly). I didn't really think anything of it. He was very functional and when we were together we had a good time. Well...a few months passed and I notice...	suzim	9	622	Aug 10, 2008 by suzim
	should i tell ? (Preview) my close friend is a chronic alcoholic , however his family are not aware just how bad his drinking is or how mental depressed ans physically ill he is . his mother died when he was ten and his brother is ten years younger than him and he raised him. i emailed his brother and told him i was concerned about him...	bunnyboiler	7	425	Aug 10, 2008 by bunnyboiler
	Probation is over for son!! (Preview) (((((((((((friends)))))))))))) Today is my son's last day of probation. It should have been five years, but because he violated his probation, it has been eight long years. He is working hard and doing well. He has been clean for 3 1/2 years. I just had to share the good news with you dear friends a...	Lexie	4	306	Aug 10, 2008 by danz123
	my day (Preview) I had a car problem today. I called my Asober after I stopped the car and he started yelling at me. He told me to drive it home and he would take a look at it then. I was afraid to drive it home but did anyway. I got home and he started getting an attitude about having to look at my car. After a while he took a loo...	buick23	2	266	Aug 10, 2008 by buick23
	Strange days indeed (Preview) In a previous post, I explained how my abf relapsed after 35 days. Part of the reason for his relapse, or his excuse for it anyway, is that he is facing demotion, he is currently a sargent in the Army National Guard. The reason he is facing demotion is because he has always been the party boy, and after 6...	liljeannie	2	384	Aug 10, 2008 by liljeannie
	A good day gone bad (Preview) While I posted here last night, my abf went to blockbuster and got himself a pint. He came home barely able to stand and spent the better part of an hour face down on the living room floor. I have to say that though I was disappointed and shocked, I didnt react! I felt so proud of me. I simply went about m...	liljeannie	7	646	Aug 10, 2008 by Christy
	He's home from rehab - I'm getting depressed - esh please (Preview) Hi All, Well I went upstate Thurs. nite to pick up AH on Friday a.m. from rehab. I was getting cold feet about him coming home on Thurs. nite, called him on my way up and told him that. He was sweet as pie, told me it was all gonna be good. Later that night, he called me, said he loved me and couldn't wait to s...	queenie105	4	564	Aug 10, 2008 by Christy
	I took care of it myself (Preview) Well I took care of my car myself after him trying to give me guilttrips about it and waiting on him to do something about it. He has been in a bad mood for days now since he lost his job and has been taking it out on me. My car problem seemed to be just another reason for him to get upset. I was not sure if I would m...	buick23	8	642	Aug 10, 2008 by liljeannie
	prayers needed (Preview) I'm on my way to a job interview. You all know I am in a finacial super sticky superglue mess because of living with an A for 7 years. A job, a real job, rather than a job which is really just another entanglement with an A is needed greatly. Please spare me a few prayers. I need to move onto another plateau s...	maresie	7	336	Aug 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Disappointed, again (Preview) My AH and I have been separated for almost 3 months. He's been living at a 1/2way house for 2 weeks 2 days. We spent the afternoon/evening together today and things were going well...until I found a couple of small flakes of weed on my bathroom floor. I was immediately taken aback from that discovery....	AJ	4	427	Aug 10, 2008 by RLC
	1 day at a time eventually adds up to 30....... (Preview) Tomorrow will be my AH 30 days. Hi Five Hubby! What is different today than when he was drinking? He is sober. I am working on myself. I have been cooking and keeping the house up. He is working in the yard........ What is the same? We still don't talk much. We still aren't very inimate. We still do...	Sincerely	4	477	Aug 9, 2008 by Sincerely
	question... (Preview) Hi All, I've been here reading and posting (sometimes) for over a year. I have a complicated situation and am looking for insight. My AH is sober for 26 months, and went through out patient recovery and then started attending 3 meetings a week, one is an AA meeting, one a recovery group meeting and th...	cstwwt	8	476	Aug 9, 2008 by cstwwt
	For my husband (Preview) ((((Family))))), I thank all of you for your love and prayers at this incredibly difficult time. It has meant the world to me to know how much you all cared about him as well as Pipers and I. We had the funeral on Friday in the Catskills. He was cremated and in the fall we will spread his ashes over his fav...	Karilynn	16	598	Aug 9, 2008 by JenniferN
	Thanks from the bottom of my heart! (Preview) Thanks to all who read my grief-filled post. I am doing OK but still have to face the memorial service with his family. I am going to be fine though because I have faith in my Higher Power that He will get me through this loss. For those of you who didn't get a chance to read it, my dear friend, a 22 year winner...	Hoot Nanny	1	355	Aug 9, 2008 by Maria123
	not so codependent...a learning process (Preview) Today was a good day, seems that over the past few days, good is more prevalent than bad. I believe I have finally learned the true meaning of detachment, and for me, thats a huge and powerful thing. Sobriety has only been with us for 35 days, but already I am learning to bite my tongue when I feel my own tr...	liljeannie	3	458	Aug 9, 2008 by lin0606
	New to this (Preview) I've been in a relationship with an alchohlic for over 3 years now. Of course when we were only dating I did not know that drinking was a daily habit of his, it wasn't until several months into our relationahip that this became evedent. He knows he is an alchoholic but he is a self proclamed "f...	buterfli13	4	450	Aug 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	new shoes, a purse and some gum (Preview) Yep, new shoes, a new purse and some gum, that is what I bought for myself yesterday. I know, sounds silly (or maybe not, thus this post), but it was eventful for me. I haven't bought new shoes in a very long time. Now, it is not like I walk around barefoot or in ratty shoes, but I got tired of the same 'ol sa...	Loupiness	4	634	Aug 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feeling a loss (Preview) Today I am feeling a loss that I can't seem to shake. I guess it is still brand-new in my heart because it happened on Saturday. One of most trusted servants and loveable soul died. His spirit will live on. He was sober for 22 years. I was introduced to Al-anon that same year although I didn't meet him u...	Hoot Nanny	3	528	Aug 8, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling Blah (Preview) Todays a tough day. Having thoughts about my ex way too much. He called me last night, and we talked for 2 minutes. He sounded good. He needed to let someone else use the phone and asked me to call him back. Well, I didnt. Then he called me this morning asking why I didnt call him back. I changed the su...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	11	526	Aug 8, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	well, he is on his way...not sure where his destination is yet. (Preview) Well, his brother is going to get him from jail. It will be middle of the night when they get in so I shouldn't even have to think about it tonight. His mom went out of town today and told him she would see him Sunday. He said okay. She asked him if he was going to be at my house and he said yes. I am just taking...	Codependent	3	434	Aug 8, 2008 by round3
	Blindsided (Preview) After more than 6yrs with my abf, four of which we have been living together, all of which I had been accepted and made to feel a part of his family, I was deliberately excluded from a family occasion. I couldnt understand why, and when I asked him about it, he just mumbled a bunch of half hearted excuses a...	liljeannie	4	509	Aug 8, 2008 by liljeannie
	GOOD NEWS!!!! (Preview) Hello "Family" Just wanted to share with all of you my excellent news: I am now employed at our local hospital in the medical records dept transcribing. I'm not sure how this will effect my relationship with my sober ABF. He has had some difficulties in the past few weeks dealing with him not...	JenniferN	3	430	Aug 8, 2008 by maresie
	I'm feeling lost (Preview) This is my first post. My bf quit drinking 3 months ago, going to rehab, AA. I feel like I'm not a part of his life anymore and don't know how to deal with it. We hardly talk about anything, he is emotionally unavailable. I feel isolated from him and I don't know how to find the answers about what behaviour is...	buick23	7	604	Aug 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Does anyone know how to stop hating the alcoholic in your life? I feel like a horrible person. (Preview) Hi guys, My mother has struggled with alcohol since her teens to about 4 months ago (she's in her 50's now). To make a long story short, I thought how I grew up was normal, and that I was the abnormal one. I now know that it was quite the opposite! About 4 months ago my mother attempted AA (yet again). For the f...	SammyQ	9	794	Aug 8, 2008 by lin0606
	Good or Bad I'm #1 (Preview) As I was just reading posts on MIP (11:35pm) I looked down and saw a piece of paper with my name at the top. Sometimes it is nothing wrong with being #1, especially with college football season approaching and all. Anyway-------------. Something make me think this list was left so I would see it. It was...	RLC	1	434	Aug 8, 2008 by CJ
	The UPS and downs (Preview) My soon to be ex-AH is in intensive recovery, and has been for 9 months. He goes to 5 AA meetings a week, 2 professional groups, a relapse recovery program and personal counseling. I have done a really good job with detachment in regards to his recovery, but I know it is more a matter of my being forced out...	Loupiness	4	993	Aug 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	Do I want this relationship? Please share ESH (Preview) Hi All, I have been w/my husband for over 23 years, 14 of which he was in recovery without a single relapse until a few years ago, and it was hell ever since. Lost his health, job and treated his family the typical way an alcoholic treats their family. In the beginning of July, I made AH leave our house a...	queenie105	13	694	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	Acceptance (Preview) This is from a bookmark I got from MelloRon in Honolulu. Ron, if you are out there reading this, thank you for this piece that you gave me, it has gotten me through some very difficult times and leads me every single day. I do not know if it is an al anon thing or a Ron thing or something else but it sure works fo...	Jean4444	3	509	Aug 7, 2008 by maresie
	Alcoholism versus Cancer (Preview) My chronic alcoholic step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer in the last two months. It is slow growing but she has started to dehydrate and is falling down a lot. She has also been diagnosed with diabetes. Her daughters my half sisters know at this stage and though not as much in denial as what th...	maire rua	4	768	Aug 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	When to let go (Preview) My first post here have gotten so much from reading everyone. My A is turning himself in for a 6 month jail term for his 3rd DUI. This gives me hope thinking maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit to make some positive changes in his life. It is hard being with someone and knowing they are not living up to the...	suzip	4	490	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	My Denial (Preview) I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be. I can fantasize about the life I could have with him. When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life tha...	Codependent	2	418	Aug 7, 2008 by masspedirn
	Thanks for the responses-I am thinking... (Preview) that you all are right that I obviously don't know yet what I want to do. I feel like I want to say no to some things, but fear that I won't be able to do this when the time comes. Like Jerry said maybe I am not convinced. Though I feel like I am convinced, just also that I am ashamed that I have not been able to,...	Codependent	3	380	Aug 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	About giving advice (Preview) I'm curious why giving advice is discouraged in alanon. I've only been to one face to face meeting and part of what I didn't like about it was there was no feedback. I guess I just don't understand or haven't caught on yet.	StargazerLily	11	3849	Aug 7, 2008 by david62
	If I disappear for the weekend... (Preview) It does look like he is going to get out tomorrow or Friday. His mom is going out of town and told me that she told his brother to bring him to my house. I told her I just wasn't really sure about that after giving it some thought. She went on to ask me just to "take care of him for the weekend" unti...	Codependent	7	425	Aug 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Relieved (Preview) I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior. My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources. I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. At the same time no matter what the situation I feel jus...	maresie	1	391	Aug 7, 2008 by mslouise
	Hi,I'm a newcomer (Preview) Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...	xjuliax	4	462	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	still over reacting (Preview) After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...	maresie	1	405	Aug 7, 2008 by kitty
	Cunning, Baffling and Powerful (Preview) I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...	serenity041807	2	561	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	How grateful can we be??? (Preview) ((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...	shadow1	7	505	Aug 6, 2008 by norwood
	What are you filling yourself up with? (Preview) (((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...	david62	7	646	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	Hello all! (Preview) I just started this forum today, and already replied to a post before even saying hello to yall. So, I figured I might was well do it before it gets too late.	J.R.	3	339	Aug 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	quietly suffacating... (Preview) ..into my own madness here as my a is really just a huge pain in my ass but i can not get rid of her stifling i say and i am going to meetings and hopefully doing the right things and the trust is basically dead...and i am trying hard not to let her in my home...and i picked up the phone and its starting all over ag...	charlescharles	6	526	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	Thoughts (Preview) Just some thoughts I'm having. I have posted a couple times. I have received responses, more than I was expecting. Some were overwhelming to me. I could not absorb the concepts that were being shared. I did get some things out of the responses though. I hope its ok. I was initially thinking I would post h...	StargazerLily	2	310	Aug 6, 2008 by J.R.
	Detachment- I need some tips as quickly as possible. :) (Preview) If you read my previous post you know that my A is getting out of jail this week- probably by Friday and he is "planning" to come to my house. These are tentative plans because we had spoken of it, but now that it is coming to a date I am getting nervous and I can tell he is as well. He offered to go t...	Codependent	7	793	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	My AH hit on my daughter!!! (Preview) Just when I thought things were getting on track BOOM!! Off the track again. I have been working my program and it has been working. I have been in therapy, and have been feeling quite well. Then last night my 22 year old daughter informs me that when her and AH went out for drinks about a month ago, he hit on...	wildthang86	7	696	Aug 6, 2008 by wildthang86
	Finally spoke with my ex (Preview) Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	536	Aug 6, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Is it normal? (Preview) Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...	mum2leahnjosh	9	452	Aug 6, 2008 by SammyQ
	Lost all my serenity at the sight of my abuser in court today (Preview) But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...	Jean4444	9	618	Aug 5, 2008 by maresie
	putting it all together.... (Preview) Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...	Loupiness	2	345	Aug 5, 2008 by nmike
	He's getting out and I am nervous. (Preview) Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...	Codependent	4	583	Aug 5, 2008 by RLC
	my seasons (Preview) I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....	Jean4444	4	299	Aug 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	30 days (Preview) Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...	liljeannie	4	260	Aug 5, 2008 by liljeannie
	A Very Special and Loved Birthday Girl Today (Preview) Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria	Maria123	9	367	Aug 5, 2008 by Peggy7
	the kids are coming back (Preview) Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...	mo14	1	358	Aug 4, 2008 by Mandy123
	Reminding Myself I'm Grateful.... (Preview) As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...	lmw	3	347	Aug 4, 2008 by lmw
	mood swings? (Preview) My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...	afglin	5	438	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.