Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Codependent · Codependent

It has occurred to me that when I truly "like" somebody I can not relax in a relationship. It also is true that I try to insist that they do what I want them to do then overreact when they don't. You would think it was good that I have discovered this about myself but now I find myself worrying abou...

pixel04 · pixel04

Hi guys, I went to a meeting last night where the topic was conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves. Specifically, how do we do it, and how do we know we are being heard? I hadn't really ever verbalized this before, so it was good for me to think about. What immediately came to mind,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Still working two jobs, still raising three kids alone, still fat and single but I'm actually at the point where I am happy about it most of the time. So I guess not much has changed except my attitude. I am still working with the social service agency for my oldest and that is helping. Every month I man...

KimG143 · KimG143

I spoke my truth in my papers to the court and after hearing both sides the judge ordered random toxicology tests, a complete alcohol evaluation, and conseling for my AH. Based on those reports the judge will have us back in court on the 22nd to make a ruling on custody and granting overnight visitatio...

SuSUN · SuSUN

Got some information on the groups-meetings. Also got the name of a Dr. that specializes in Alcoholism....of course the client themselves have to access this. AH is a long way from that. I just feel more confident knowing that there is help for him when he decides enoughs enough. If that ever happens,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), On top of gieving for the loss of my beloved Tim, Pipers needs your prayers. She hasn't been eating and has been lethargic and coughing. I ran her down to the vets at the local PetSmart. Our vet lives 35 miles away, doesn't make house calls and I don't drive. She has a fever and they a...

BK911 · BK911

He's going to therapy. He's "weaned" down to 1-2 drinks a day. While I'm around that is. This way he leaves the door open to binge when I'm not around. Last week I took the kids on vacation and he binged the whole time I was gone, and denied it of course. He's so proud that he's only drinking a...

Tracy · Tracy

I have asked my AB to leave I have finally realised I am powerless and that I have a addiction I am a fixer, co dependent put everyones needs before my own. I am trying to concentrate on my life and I do believe in HP. However I am finding step 3 really hard I know I carnt change my AB, Iknow my life is a mess I try...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The situation with my step-mother's health has worsened. The initial lung cancer has now spread to the brain. She is coming home on Monday and I have managed to detach and realise that alcoholism is an illness like any other. I am going to do the taxiing, collecting her daughters at the airpor...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Today has been the most vile day and it has all gone horribly wrong. The family is so used to being horrible to each other and now that mum is away it has not stopped. The two eldest, girls in the early teens are vile and the language is awful. against my daughters advice I allowed both girls to have friend...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I was just thinking how greatful I am for zoloft. I had started to feel annoyed by my baby and just wanted everyone to leave me alone. I wanted to run away. Its been about 7 weeks now that I've been on zoloft and I have noticed I don't get automatically angry at everything. My patience with the baby is back li...

buick23 · buick23

After no communication with my Asober for 3 days since I took care of my car, I broke the silence. I asked him why he hasn't said a word to me, and mentioned that we hadn't done anything together in 3 weeks. He blamed me of course but I didn't take it. I told him to stop blaming everything on me. I stood up for my...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I saw the A this weekend. Actually went out with him Friday night. Had my son go to my cousin's for the weekend so he wouldn't be in the mess. When I first saw the A, I thought I can handle this. I'm not even attracted to him at all anymore. Then it was like the more time I have spent with him- the mor...

Codependent · Codependent

I find myself asking that question a lot lately. With bills, mortgage, responsiblites, kids, the things I do to self destruct-things to make myself feel better which only make me feel worse, stressful job, attempts to make friends and relationships, taking care of an elderly grandmother, feelin...

maresie · maresie

I was not invited to a lunch at work. Who knows why. It is for someone I have been really closely involved with. I have helped the person since day 1, even now I am setting things up for them. Before I would have made a sarcastic remark. I would even have said something. I have told a friend (at work) that I am...

KimG143 · KimG143

Hi All, After 10 months of Al Anon and gaining the strength I needed to leave my AH and take my daughter with me I have come into the wonderful world of the judicial system. When all I was hoping for is for him to get some help to stop drinking so he could have a healthy relationship with our daughter I got an AH...

thetalady · thetalady

My AH will be having surgery in two weeks. When he saw the surgeon, he lied on the paperwork and did not indicate how much he drinks every day. I noticed yesterday that he has the shakes whenever he goes without drinking. I'm a bit concerned with the upcoming surgery. I know by his not being honest with the...

Brizzle Gal · Brizzle Gal

I have been with my girlfriend since May 2007. She drinks intermittently and has had about 8 episodes (they last 7-14 days during which she drinks non-stop) since we got together, the last one started on Monday and she is still in the thick of it now. I spoke to her this morning and she promised me faithfu...

gaelle · gaelle

Good morning to all, I didn't think being back on this board as life has been pretty quiet and good but life never stops to bring surprises (good or bad). I frequented a sober A (we were already friend from many years before) and after a year, we took the decision to stop it. It has been an hard decision as i...

ImOnlyMe · ImOnlyMe

Okay so I am new to this, and I'm currently in the "wow I'm stupid...i'm not really alone" phase. My story goes back a few years, to the beginning of my relationship with my husband. We've known each other for years, since we were kids almost, but hadn't talked since high school. When we start...

suzim · suzim

I will try and make my story short so here goes.... I met my BF 2 years ago. We started dating and he had said a few times how he like to take pills (downers mostly). I didn't really think anything of it. He was very functional and when we were together we had a good time. Well...a few months passed and I notice...

bunnyboiler · bunnyboiler

my close friend is a chronic alcoholic , however his family are not aware just how bad his drinking is or how mental depressed ans physically ill he is . his mother died when he was ten and his brother is ten years younger than him and he raised him. i emailed his brother and told him i was concerned about him...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((((((friends)))))))))))) Today is my son's last day of probation. It should have been five years, but because he violated his probation, it has been eight long years. He is working hard and doing well. He has been clean for 3 1/2 years. I just had to share the good news with you dear friends a...

buick23 · buick23

I had a car problem today. I called my Asober after I stopped the car and he started yelling at me. He told me to drive it home and he would take a look at it then. I was afraid to drive it home but did anyway. I got home and he started getting an attitude about having to look at my car. After a while he took a loo...

liljeannie · liljeannie

In a previous post, I explained how my abf relapsed after 35 days. Part of the reason for his relapse, or his excuse for it anyway, is that he is facing demotion, he is currently a sargent in the Army National Guard. The reason he is facing demotion is because he has always been the party boy, and after 6...

liljeannie · liljeannie

While I posted here last night, my abf went to blockbuster and got himself a pint. He came home barely able to stand and spent the better part of an hour face down on the living room floor. I have to say that though I was disappointed and shocked, I didnt react! I felt so proud of me. I simply went about m...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi All, Well I went upstate Thurs. nite to pick up AH on Friday a.m. from rehab. I was getting cold feet about him coming home on Thurs. nite, called him on my way up and told him that. He was sweet as pie, told me it was all gonna be good. Later that night, he called me, said he loved me and couldn't wait to s...

buick23 · buick23

Well I took care of my car myself after him trying to give me guilttrips about it and waiting on him to do something about it. He has been in a bad mood for days now since he lost his job and has been taking it out on me. My car problem seemed to be just another reason for him to get upset. I was not sure if I would m...

maresie · maresie

I'm on my way to a job interview. You all know I am in a finacial super sticky superglue mess because of living with an A for 7 years. A job, a real job, rather than a job which is really just another entanglement with an A is needed greatly. Please spare me a few prayers. I need to move onto another plateau s...

AJ · AJ

My AH and I have been separated for almost 3 months. He's been living at a 1/2way house for 2 weeks 2 days. We spent the afternoon/evening together today and things were going well...until I found a couple of small flakes of weed on my bathroom floor. I was immediately taken aback from that discovery....

Sincerely · Sincerely

Tomorrow will be my AH 30 days. Hi Five Hubby! What is different today than when he was drinking? He is sober. I am working on myself. I have been cooking and keeping the house up. He is working in the yard........ What is the same? We still don't talk much. We still aren't very inimate. We still do...

cstwwt · cstwwt

Hi All, I've been here reading and posting (sometimes) for over a year. I have a complicated situation and am looking for insight. My AH is sober for 26 months, and went through out patient recovery and then started attending 3 meetings a week, one is an AA meeting, one a recovery group meeting and th...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))))), I thank all of you for your love and prayers at this incredibly difficult time. It has meant the world to me to know how much you all cared about him as well as Pipers and I. We had the funeral on Friday in the Catskills. He was cremated and in the fall we will spread his ashes over his fav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks to all who read my grief-filled post. I am doing OK but still have to face the memorial service with his family. I am going to be fine though because I have faith in my Higher Power that He will get me through this loss. For those of you who didn't get a chance to read it, my dear friend, a 22 year winner...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Today was a good day, seems that over the past few days, good is more prevalent than bad. I believe I have finally learned the true meaning of detachment, and for me, thats a huge and powerful thing. Sobriety has only been with us for 35 days, but already I am learning to bite my tongue when I feel my own tr...

buterfli13 · buterfli13

I've been in a relationship with an alchohlic for over 3 years now. Of course when we were only dating I did not know that drinking was a daily habit of his, it wasn't until several months into our relationahip that this became evedent. He knows he is an alchoholic but he is a self proclamed "f...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Yep, new shoes, a new purse and some gum, that is what I bought for myself yesterday. I know, sounds silly (or maybe not, thus this post), but it was eventful for me. I haven't bought new shoes in a very long time. Now, it is not like I walk around barefoot or in ratty shoes, but I got tired of the same 'ol sa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I am feeling a loss that I can't seem to shake. I guess it is still brand-new in my heart because it happened on Saturday. One of most trusted servants and loveable soul died. His spirit will live on. He was sober for 22 years. I was introduced to Al-anon that same year although I didn't meet him u...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Todays a tough day. Having thoughts about my ex way too much. He called me last night, and we talked for 2 minutes. He sounded good. He needed to let someone else use the phone and asked me to call him back. Well, I didnt. Then he called me this morning asking why I didnt call him back. I changed the su...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, his brother is going to get him from jail. It will be middle of the night when they get in so I shouldn't even have to think about it tonight. His mom went out of town today and told him she would see him Sunday. He said okay. She asked him if he was going to be at my house and he said yes. I am just taking...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After more than 6yrs with my abf, four of which we have been living together, all of which I had been accepted and made to feel a part of his family, I was deliberately excluded from a family occasion. I couldnt understand why, and when I asked him about it, he just mumbled a bunch of half hearted excuses a...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Hello "Family" Just wanted to share with all of you my excellent news: I am now employed at our local hospital in the medical records dept transcribing. I'm not sure how this will effect my relationship with my sober ABF. He has had some difficulties in the past few weeks dealing with him not...

buick23 · buick23

This is my first post. My bf quit drinking 3 months ago, going to rehab, AA. I feel like I'm not a part of his life anymore and don't know how to deal with it. We hardly talk about anything, he is emotionally unavailable. I feel isolated from him and I don't know how to find the answers about what behaviour is...

SammyQ · SammyQ

Hi guys, My mother has struggled with alcohol since her teens to about 4 months ago (she's in her 50's now). To make a long story short, I thought how I grew up was normal, and that I was the abnormal one. I now know that it was quite the opposite! About 4 months ago my mother attempted AA (yet again). For the f...

RLC · RLC

As I was just reading posts on MIP (11:35pm) I looked down and saw a piece of paper with my name at the top. Sometimes it is nothing wrong with being #1, especially with college football season approaching and all. Anyway-------------. Something make me think this list was left so I would see it. It was...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My soon to be ex-AH is in intensive recovery, and has been for 9 months. He goes to 5 AA meetings a week, 2 professional groups, a relapse recovery program and personal counseling. I have done a really good job with detachment in regards to his recovery, but I know it is more a matter of my being forced out...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi All, I have been w/my husband for over 23 years, 14 of which he was in recovery without a single relapse until a few years ago, and it was hell ever since. Lost his health, job and treated his family the typical way an alcoholic treats their family. In the beginning of July, I made AH leave our house a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

This is from a bookmark I got from MelloRon in Honolulu. Ron, if you are out there reading this, thank you for this piece that you gave me, it has gotten me through some very difficult times and leads me every single day. I do not know if it is an al anon thing or a Ron thing or something else but it sure works fo...

maire rua · maire rua

My chronic alcoholic step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer in the last two months. It is slow growing but she has started to dehydrate and is falling down a lot. She has also been diagnosed with diabetes. Her daughters my half sisters know at this stage and though not as much in denial as what th...

suzip · suzip

My first post here have gotten so much from reading everyone. My A is turning himself in for a 6 month jail term for his 3rd DUI. This gives me hope thinking maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit to make some positive changes in his life. It is hard being with someone and knowing they are not living up to the...

Codependent · Codependent

I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be. I can fantasize about the life I could have with him. When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life tha...

Codependent · Codependent

that you all are right that I obviously don't know yet what I want to do. I feel like I want to say no to some things, but fear that I won't be able to do this when the time comes. Like Jerry said maybe I am not convinced. Though I feel like I am convinced, just also that I am ashamed that I have not been able to,...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I'm curious why giving advice is discouraged in alanon. I've only been to one face to face meeting and part of what I didn't like about it was there was no feedback. I guess I just don't understand or haven't caught on yet.

Codependent · Codependent

It does look like he is going to get out tomorrow or Friday. His mom is going out of town and told me that she told his brother to bring him to my house. I told her I just wasn't really sure about that after giving it some thought. She went on to ask me just to "take care of him for the weekend" unti...

maresie · maresie

I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior. My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources. I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. At the same time no matter what the situation I feel jus...

xjuliax · xjuliax

Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...

maresie · maresie

After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...

serenity041807 · serenity041807

I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...

david62 · david62

(((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Worrier- Never Able to Have Relationship (Preview) It has occurred to me that when I truly "like" somebody I can not relax in a relationship. It also is true that I try to insist that they do what I want them to do then overreact when they don't. You would think it was good that I have discovered this about myself but now I find myself worrying abou...	Codependent	4	488	Aug 12, 2008 by carolinagirl
	conscious contact with HP (Preview) Hi guys, I went to a meeting last night where the topic was conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves. Specifically, how do we do it, and how do we know we are being heard? I hadn't really ever verbalized this before, so it was good for me to think about. What immediately came to mind,...	pixel04	3	420	Aug 12, 2008 by Pi
	Update (Preview) Still working two jobs, still raising three kids alone, still fat and single but I'm actually at the point where I am happy about it most of the time. So I guess not much has changed except my attitude. I am still working with the social service agency for my oldest and that is helping. Every month I man...	carolinagirl	5	366	Aug 12, 2008 by round3
	Court (Preview) I spoke my truth in my papers to the court and after hearing both sides the judge ordered random toxicology tests, a complete alcohol evaluation, and conseling for my AH. Based on those reports the judge will have us back in court on the 22nd to make a ruling on custody and granting overnight visitatio...	KimG143	5	638	Aug 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	Made that first call today to Al-Anon (Preview) Got some information on the groups-meetings. Also got the name of a Dr. that specializes in Alcoholism....of course the client themselves have to access this. AH is a long way from that. I just feel more confident knowing that there is help for him when he decides enoughs enough. If that ever happens,...	SuSUN	4	403	Aug 11, 2008 by SuSUN
	Prayers for Pipers Please (Preview) (((((Family))))), On top of gieving for the loss of my beloved Tim, Pipers needs your prayers. She hasn't been eating and has been lethargic and coughing. I ran her down to the vets at the local PetSmart. Our vet lives 35 miles away, doesn't make house calls and I don't drive. She has a fever and they a...	Karilynn	26	843	Aug 11, 2008 by kitty
	He won't quit drinking and I can't live with it anymore (Preview) He's going to therapy. He's "weaned" down to 1-2 drinks a day. While I'm around that is. This way he leaves the door open to binge when I'm not around. Last week I took the kids on vacation and he binged the whole time I was gone, and denied it of course. He's so proud that he's only drinking a...	BK911	5	543	Aug 11, 2008 by DDnurse
	lonely (Preview) I have asked my AB to leave I have finally realised I am powerless and that I have a addiction I am a fixer, co dependent put everyones needs before my own. I am trying to concentrate on my life and I do believe in HP. However I am finding step 3 really hard I know I carnt change my AB, Iknow my life is a mess I try...	Tracy	6	441	Aug 11, 2008 by maresie
	situation with step mother and father (Preview) Dear All, The situation with my step-mother's health has worsened. The initial lung cancer has now spread to the brain. She is coming home on Monday and I have managed to detach and realise that alcoholism is an illness like any other. I am going to do the taxiing, collecting her daughters at the airpor...	maire rua	3	484	Aug 11, 2008 by maresie
	It's all gone horribly wrong...LONG and PAINFUL (Preview) Today has been the most vile day and it has all gone horribly wrong. The family is so used to being horrible to each other and now that mum is away it has not stopped. The two eldest, girls in the early teens are vile and the language is awful. against my daughters advice I allowed both girls to have friend...	Suzannah	6	609	Aug 11, 2008 by maresie
	The zoloft is working (Preview) I was just thinking how greatful I am for zoloft. I had started to feel annoyed by my baby and just wanted everyone to leave me alone. I wanted to run away. Its been about 7 weeks now that I've been on zoloft and I have noticed I don't get automatically angry at everything. My patience with the baby is back li...	StargazerLily	2	471	Aug 11, 2008 by BK911
	standing up for myself (Preview) After no communication with my Asober for 3 days since I took care of my car, I broke the silence. I asked him why he hasn't said a word to me, and mentioned that we hadn't done anything together in 3 weeks. He blamed me of course but I didn't take it. I told him to stop blaming everything on me. I stood up for my...	buick23	4	463	Aug 11, 2008 by BK911
	Oh so confused...feel like I'm addicted to him anyway... (Preview) Well, I saw the A this weekend. Actually went out with him Friday night. Had my son go to my cousin's for the weekend so he wouldn't be in the mess. When I first saw the A, I thought I can handle this. I'm not even attracted to him at all anymore. Then it was like the more time I have spent with him- the mor...	Codependent	3	437	Aug 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Does life ever just seem to hard? (Preview) I find myself asking that question a lot lately. With bills, mortgage, responsiblites, kids, the things I do to self destruct-things to make myself feel better which only make me feel worse, stressful job, attempts to make friends and relationships, taking care of an elderly grandmother, feelin...	Codependent	2	474	Aug 11, 2008 by ddub
	doing beter an example (Preview) I was not invited to a lunch at work. Who knows why. It is for someone I have been really closely involved with. I have helped the person since day 1, even now I am setting things up for them. Before I would have made a sarcastic remark. I would even have said something. I have told a friend (at work) that I am...	maresie	5	470	Aug 11, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	AH husband says I have no proof (Preview) Hi All, After 10 months of Al Anon and gaining the strength I needed to leave my AH and take my daughter with me I have come into the wonderful world of the judicial system. When all I was hoping for is for him to get some help to stop drinking so he could have a healthy relationship with our daughter I got an AH...	KimG143	6	446	Aug 11, 2008 by canadianguy
	Do I Stick My Nose In (Preview) My AH will be having surgery in two weeks. When he saw the surgeon, he lied on the paperwork and did not indicate how much he drinks every day. I noticed yesterday that he has the shakes whenever he goes without drinking. I'm a bit concerned with the upcoming surgery. I know by his not being honest with the...	thetalady	8	496	Aug 11, 2008 by canadianguy
	Binge Drinker (Preview) I have been with my girlfriend since May 2007. She drinks intermittently and has had about 8 episodes (they last 7-14 days during which she drinks non-stop) since we got together, the last one started on Monday and she is still in the thick of it now. I spoke to her this morning and she promised me faithfu...	Brizzle Gal	5	463	Aug 11, 2008 by Brizzle Gal
	Don't know what i should with him... (Preview) Good morning to all, I didn't think being back on this board as life has been pretty quiet and good but life never stops to bring surprises (good or bad). I frequented a sober A (we were already friend from many years before) and after a year, we took the decision to stop it. It has been an hard decision as i...	gaelle	7	538	Aug 11, 2008 by gaelle
	Here I go (Preview) Okay so I am new to this, and I'm currently in the "wow I'm stupid...i'm not really alone" phase. My story goes back a few years, to the beginning of my relationship with my husband. We've known each other for years, since we were kids almost, but hadn't talked since high school. When we start...	ImOnlyMe	9	365	Aug 10, 2008 by ImOnlyMe
	I'm new here and need some guidance.... (Preview) I will try and make my story short so here goes.... I met my BF 2 years ago. We started dating and he had said a few times how he like to take pills (downers mostly). I didn't really think anything of it. He was very functional and when we were together we had a good time. Well...a few months passed and I notice...	suzim	9	642	Aug 10, 2008 by suzim
	should i tell ? (Preview) my close friend is a chronic alcoholic , however his family are not aware just how bad his drinking is or how mental depressed ans physically ill he is . his mother died when he was ten and his brother is ten years younger than him and he raised him. i emailed his brother and told him i was concerned about him...	bunnyboiler	7	438	Aug 10, 2008 by bunnyboiler
	Probation is over for son!! (Preview) (((((((((((friends)))))))))))) Today is my son's last day of probation. It should have been five years, but because he violated his probation, it has been eight long years. He is working hard and doing well. He has been clean for 3 1/2 years. I just had to share the good news with you dear friends a...	Lexie	4	319	Aug 10, 2008 by danz123
	my day (Preview) I had a car problem today. I called my Asober after I stopped the car and he started yelling at me. He told me to drive it home and he would take a look at it then. I was afraid to drive it home but did anyway. I got home and he started getting an attitude about having to look at my car. After a while he took a loo...	buick23	2	279	Aug 10, 2008 by buick23
	Strange days indeed (Preview) In a previous post, I explained how my abf relapsed after 35 days. Part of the reason for his relapse, or his excuse for it anyway, is that he is facing demotion, he is currently a sargent in the Army National Guard. The reason he is facing demotion is because he has always been the party boy, and after 6...	liljeannie	2	397	Aug 10, 2008 by liljeannie
	A good day gone bad (Preview) While I posted here last night, my abf went to blockbuster and got himself a pint. He came home barely able to stand and spent the better part of an hour face down on the living room floor. I have to say that though I was disappointed and shocked, I didnt react! I felt so proud of me. I simply went about m...	liljeannie	7	660	Aug 10, 2008 by Christy
	He's home from rehab - I'm getting depressed - esh please (Preview) Hi All, Well I went upstate Thurs. nite to pick up AH on Friday a.m. from rehab. I was getting cold feet about him coming home on Thurs. nite, called him on my way up and told him that. He was sweet as pie, told me it was all gonna be good. Later that night, he called me, said he loved me and couldn't wait to s...	queenie105	4	583	Aug 10, 2008 by Christy
	I took care of it myself (Preview) Well I took care of my car myself after him trying to give me guilttrips about it and waiting on him to do something about it. He has been in a bad mood for days now since he lost his job and has been taking it out on me. My car problem seemed to be just another reason for him to get upset. I was not sure if I would m...	buick23	8	653	Aug 10, 2008 by liljeannie
	prayers needed (Preview) I'm on my way to a job interview. You all know I am in a finacial super sticky superglue mess because of living with an A for 7 years. A job, a real job, rather than a job which is really just another entanglement with an A is needed greatly. Please spare me a few prayers. I need to move onto another plateau s...	maresie	7	349	Aug 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Disappointed, again (Preview) My AH and I have been separated for almost 3 months. He's been living at a 1/2way house for 2 weeks 2 days. We spent the afternoon/evening together today and things were going well...until I found a couple of small flakes of weed on my bathroom floor. I was immediately taken aback from that discovery....	AJ	4	446	Aug 10, 2008 by RLC
	1 day at a time eventually adds up to 30....... (Preview) Tomorrow will be my AH 30 days. Hi Five Hubby! What is different today than when he was drinking? He is sober. I am working on myself. I have been cooking and keeping the house up. He is working in the yard........ What is the same? We still don't talk much. We still aren't very inimate. We still do...	Sincerely	4	491	Aug 9, 2008 by Sincerely
	question... (Preview) Hi All, I've been here reading and posting (sometimes) for over a year. I have a complicated situation and am looking for insight. My AH is sober for 26 months, and went through out patient recovery and then started attending 3 meetings a week, one is an AA meeting, one a recovery group meeting and th...	cstwwt	8	494	Aug 9, 2008 by cstwwt
	For my husband (Preview) ((((Family))))), I thank all of you for your love and prayers at this incredibly difficult time. It has meant the world to me to know how much you all cared about him as well as Pipers and I. We had the funeral on Friday in the Catskills. He was cremated and in the fall we will spread his ashes over his fav...	Karilynn	16	611	Aug 9, 2008 by JenniferN
	Thanks from the bottom of my heart! (Preview) Thanks to all who read my grief-filled post. I am doing OK but still have to face the memorial service with his family. I am going to be fine though because I have faith in my Higher Power that He will get me through this loss. For those of you who didn't get a chance to read it, my dear friend, a 22 year winner...	Hoot Nanny	1	369	Aug 9, 2008 by Maria123
	not so codependent...a learning process (Preview) Today was a good day, seems that over the past few days, good is more prevalent than bad. I believe I have finally learned the true meaning of detachment, and for me, thats a huge and powerful thing. Sobriety has only been with us for 35 days, but already I am learning to bite my tongue when I feel my own tr...	liljeannie	3	471	Aug 9, 2008 by lin0606
	New to this (Preview) I've been in a relationship with an alchohlic for over 3 years now. Of course when we were only dating I did not know that drinking was a daily habit of his, it wasn't until several months into our relationahip that this became evedent. He knows he is an alchoholic but he is a self proclamed "f...	buterfli13	4	464	Aug 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	new shoes, a purse and some gum (Preview) Yep, new shoes, a new purse and some gum, that is what I bought for myself yesterday. I know, sounds silly (or maybe not, thus this post), but it was eventful for me. I haven't bought new shoes in a very long time. Now, it is not like I walk around barefoot or in ratty shoes, but I got tired of the same 'ol sa...	Loupiness	4	648	Aug 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feeling a loss (Preview) Today I am feeling a loss that I can't seem to shake. I guess it is still brand-new in my heart because it happened on Saturday. One of most trusted servants and loveable soul died. His spirit will live on. He was sober for 22 years. I was introduced to Al-anon that same year although I didn't meet him u...	Hoot Nanny	3	542	Aug 8, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling Blah (Preview) Todays a tough day. Having thoughts about my ex way too much. He called me last night, and we talked for 2 minutes. He sounded good. He needed to let someone else use the phone and asked me to call him back. Well, I didnt. Then he called me this morning asking why I didnt call him back. I changed the su...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	11	544	Aug 8, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	well, he is on his way...not sure where his destination is yet. (Preview) Well, his brother is going to get him from jail. It will be middle of the night when they get in so I shouldn't even have to think about it tonight. His mom went out of town today and told him she would see him Sunday. He said okay. She asked him if he was going to be at my house and he said yes. I am just taking...	Codependent	3	447	Aug 8, 2008 by round3
	Blindsided (Preview) After more than 6yrs with my abf, four of which we have been living together, all of which I had been accepted and made to feel a part of his family, I was deliberately excluded from a family occasion. I couldnt understand why, and when I asked him about it, he just mumbled a bunch of half hearted excuses a...	liljeannie	4	523	Aug 8, 2008 by liljeannie
	GOOD NEWS!!!! (Preview) Hello "Family" Just wanted to share with all of you my excellent news: I am now employed at our local hospital in the medical records dept transcribing. I'm not sure how this will effect my relationship with my sober ABF. He has had some difficulties in the past few weeks dealing with him not...	JenniferN	3	443	Aug 8, 2008 by maresie
	I'm feeling lost (Preview) This is my first post. My bf quit drinking 3 months ago, going to rehab, AA. I feel like I'm not a part of his life anymore and don't know how to deal with it. We hardly talk about anything, he is emotionally unavailable. I feel isolated from him and I don't know how to find the answers about what behaviour is...	buick23	7	620	Aug 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Does anyone know how to stop hating the alcoholic in your life? I feel like a horrible person. (Preview) Hi guys, My mother has struggled with alcohol since her teens to about 4 months ago (she's in her 50's now). To make a long story short, I thought how I grew up was normal, and that I was the abnormal one. I now know that it was quite the opposite! About 4 months ago my mother attempted AA (yet again). For the f...	SammyQ	9	811	Aug 8, 2008 by lin0606
	Good or Bad I'm #1 (Preview) As I was just reading posts on MIP (11:35pm) I looked down and saw a piece of paper with my name at the top. Sometimes it is nothing wrong with being #1, especially with college football season approaching and all. Anyway-------------. Something make me think this list was left so I would see it. It was...	RLC	1	447	Aug 8, 2008 by CJ
	The UPS and downs (Preview) My soon to be ex-AH is in intensive recovery, and has been for 9 months. He goes to 5 AA meetings a week, 2 professional groups, a relapse recovery program and personal counseling. I have done a really good job with detachment in regards to his recovery, but I know it is more a matter of my being forced out...	Loupiness	4	1008	Aug 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	Do I want this relationship? Please share ESH (Preview) Hi All, I have been w/my husband for over 23 years, 14 of which he was in recovery without a single relapse until a few years ago, and it was hell ever since. Lost his health, job and treated his family the typical way an alcoholic treats their family. In the beginning of July, I made AH leave our house a...	queenie105	13	716	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	Acceptance (Preview) This is from a bookmark I got from MelloRon in Honolulu. Ron, if you are out there reading this, thank you for this piece that you gave me, it has gotten me through some very difficult times and leads me every single day. I do not know if it is an al anon thing or a Ron thing or something else but it sure works fo...	Jean4444	3	525	Aug 7, 2008 by maresie
	Alcoholism versus Cancer (Preview) My chronic alcoholic step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer in the last two months. It is slow growing but she has started to dehydrate and is falling down a lot. She has also been diagnosed with diabetes. Her daughters my half sisters know at this stage and though not as much in denial as what th...	maire rua	4	782	Aug 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	When to let go (Preview) My first post here have gotten so much from reading everyone. My A is turning himself in for a 6 month jail term for his 3rd DUI. This gives me hope thinking maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit to make some positive changes in his life. It is hard being with someone and knowing they are not living up to the...	suzip	4	503	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	My Denial (Preview) I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be. I can fantasize about the life I could have with him. When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life tha...	Codependent	2	431	Aug 7, 2008 by masspedirn
	Thanks for the responses-I am thinking... (Preview) that you all are right that I obviously don't know yet what I want to do. I feel like I want to say no to some things, but fear that I won't be able to do this when the time comes. Like Jerry said maybe I am not convinced. Though I feel like I am convinced, just also that I am ashamed that I have not been able to,...	Codependent	3	393	Aug 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	About giving advice (Preview) I'm curious why giving advice is discouraged in alanon. I've only been to one face to face meeting and part of what I didn't like about it was there was no feedback. I guess I just don't understand or haven't caught on yet.	StargazerLily	11	4101	Aug 7, 2008 by david62
	If I disappear for the weekend... (Preview) It does look like he is going to get out tomorrow or Friday. His mom is going out of town and told me that she told his brother to bring him to my house. I told her I just wasn't really sure about that after giving it some thought. She went on to ask me just to "take care of him for the weekend" unti...	Codependent	7	441	Aug 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Relieved (Preview) I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior. My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources. I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. At the same time no matter what the situation I feel jus...	maresie	1	408	Aug 7, 2008 by mslouise
	Hi,I'm a newcomer (Preview) Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...	xjuliax	4	475	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	still over reacting (Preview) After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...	maresie	1	418	Aug 7, 2008 by kitty
	Cunning, Baffling and Powerful (Preview) I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...	serenity041807	2	580	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	How grateful can we be??? (Preview) ((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...	shadow1	7	520	Aug 6, 2008 by norwood
	What are you filling yourself up with? (Preview) (((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...	david62	7	663	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.