Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SammyQ · SammyQ

Hi guys, My mother has struggled with alcohol since her teens to about 4 months ago (she's in her 50's now). To make a long story short, I thought how I grew up was normal, and that I was the abnormal one. I now know that it was quite the opposite! About 4 months ago my mother attempted AA (yet again). For the f...

RLC · RLC

As I was just reading posts on MIP (11:35pm) I looked down and saw a piece of paper with my name at the top. Sometimes it is nothing wrong with being #1, especially with college football season approaching and all. Anyway-------------. Something make me think this list was left so I would see it. It was...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My soon to be ex-AH is in intensive recovery, and has been for 9 months. He goes to 5 AA meetings a week, 2 professional groups, a relapse recovery program and personal counseling. I have done a really good job with detachment in regards to his recovery, but I know it is more a matter of my being forced out...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi All, I have been w/my husband for over 23 years, 14 of which he was in recovery without a single relapse until a few years ago, and it was hell ever since. Lost his health, job and treated his family the typical way an alcoholic treats their family. In the beginning of July, I made AH leave our house a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

This is from a bookmark I got from MelloRon in Honolulu. Ron, if you are out there reading this, thank you for this piece that you gave me, it has gotten me through some very difficult times and leads me every single day. I do not know if it is an al anon thing or a Ron thing or something else but it sure works fo...

maire rua · maire rua

My chronic alcoholic step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer in the last two months. It is slow growing but she has started to dehydrate and is falling down a lot. She has also been diagnosed with diabetes. Her daughters my half sisters know at this stage and though not as much in denial as what th...

suzip · suzip

My first post here have gotten so much from reading everyone. My A is turning himself in for a 6 month jail term for his 3rd DUI. This gives me hope thinking maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit to make some positive changes in his life. It is hard being with someone and knowing they are not living up to the...

Codependent · Codependent

I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be. I can fantasize about the life I could have with him. When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life tha...

Codependent · Codependent

that you all are right that I obviously don't know yet what I want to do. I feel like I want to say no to some things, but fear that I won't be able to do this when the time comes. Like Jerry said maybe I am not convinced. Though I feel like I am convinced, just also that I am ashamed that I have not been able to,...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I'm curious why giving advice is discouraged in alanon. I've only been to one face to face meeting and part of what I didn't like about it was there was no feedback. I guess I just don't understand or haven't caught on yet.

Codependent · Codependent

It does look like he is going to get out tomorrow or Friday. His mom is going out of town and told me that she told his brother to bring him to my house. I told her I just wasn't really sure about that after giving it some thought. She went on to ask me just to "take care of him for the weekend" unti...

maresie · maresie

I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior. My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources. I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. At the same time no matter what the situation I feel jus...

xjuliax · xjuliax

Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...

maresie · maresie

After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...

serenity041807 · serenity041807

I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...

david62 · david62

(((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...

J.R. · J.R.

I just started this forum today, and already replied to a post before even saying hello to yall. So, I figured I might was well do it before it gets too late.

charlescharles · charlescharles

..into my own madness here as my a is really just a huge pain in my ass but i can not get rid of her stifling i say and i am going to meetings and hopefully doing the right things and the trust is basically dead...and i am trying hard not to let her in my home...and i picked up the phone and its starting all over ag...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

Just some thoughts I'm having. I have posted a couple times. I have received responses, more than I was expecting. Some were overwhelming to me. I could not absorb the concepts that were being shared. I did get some things out of the responses though. I hope its ok. I was initially thinking I would post h...

Codependent · Codependent

If you read my previous post you know that my A is getting out of jail this week- probably by Friday and he is "planning" to come to my house. These are tentative plans because we had spoken of it, but now that it is coming to a date I am getting nervous and I can tell he is as well. He offered to go t...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Just when I thought things were getting on track BOOM!! Off the track again. I have been working my program and it has been working. I have been in therapy, and have been feeling quite well. Then last night my 22 year old daughter informs me that when her and AH went out for drinks about a month ago, he hit on...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria

mo14 · mo14

Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...

lmw · lmw

As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...

afglin · afglin

My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...

mslouise · mslouise

I started my weekend positive. I was so proud of myself on Saturaday. My recov bf spent the whole day Saturday away from home working on his hunting lease with his best friend (this is the friend that has the "friendly" girlfriend..past issues there). I was proud of myself, because I ac...

Tracy · Tracy

Over the past3 and a half years I have told my A I love him and always given him hope that things will work out. when we split I give him hope tell him I love him need space but will waite while he sorts himself out. He never does and just manipulates his way back into my life. Things have changed slowely as I am...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Some of those who know me, know that I have recently suffered a misscarriage and had a D&C. Just over the weekend I have been feeling really really ill. Been sick and feel really run down. I am also in alot of pain in the lower region of my tummy (period pains) and I am bleeding very heavy. Im thinking I m...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello Family, I am off into deep waters for the rest of the month as I sail south to my daughter's where I am going to look after the grandchildren and the 'zoo' for a week. I keep checking if my one brain cell is still functioning; or if I have any screws loose, however I am so looking forward to having the ch...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

so, I'm in a wierd mood... I am getting ready to move from ohio to nc...and I am realizing that I have to start over. I am gonna be in a new state that has no baggage. Now, that's a good thing but I am realizing that I am not going to have the familliarness of where I am now...and I'm scared cause even though I kno...

charlescharles · charlescharles

good evening folks thought i would share my a has really gone over the edge..threatening suicide..taking pilss and generally being rather unhappy and even tragic i told her today that i would either call the cops...change my phone number or even relocate i know these are just words but hopefully i ca...

joyoma · joyoma

This morning I was cautiously optimistic about my son's AA attendance the past two weeks. Now, just a few hours after that post, he calls. Ranting, slurring a bit, negativity, irritability, griping.....same old, same old. Good thing people here told me to have "no expectations" beca...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

I'm new to the board. I left and filed for divorce from my AH over the past month. I do love him, we've been together for 20 years of which 13 we were married. I have been very angry and hurt for a long time. I started doing some al anon reading and meetings and it's making alot of sense. My father was a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I feel like I will never be able to get really close to anyone ever again. This makes me sad. I have always craved this, of course. I know how to detach, but when will I learn to attach in a healthy way, if ever? I have learned how to not act through this program but how do I learn how to act? Any advice or ESH...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Although I have moved on with my life and am very happy, I can't help but have thoughts of my ex A b/f and all that he's dealing with right now. Guess thats one of my weaknesses. Once someone is in my heart, there always remains a place for them there, even if its a very little place. As you may recall, he was...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As thoughts come shooting into my mind, I have found it helpful to post them here. I have discovered it is a good way to keep me from obsessing, and get it out and processed. Then, the comments give me other helpful perspectives, so then I can move on. So, 4 in the morning and here I am... Over the past few da...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I believe that I once posted about a customer and good friend that was having much trouble with being clean and sober and the ups and downs, ins and outs of relapse. Two weeks ago she was bundled up much to chagrin and hauled off to the rehab program very near to my home. She was reluctant an...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked...

notalone · notalone

When I need help I go to my friends. You are now invited to be my friend. Like I said I'm new to this. I have one face to face Naranon meeting under my belt. I will be back to it on Wednesday but I need more support. My 17 year old son is moving back into our life after a 90 day trip into rehab. This weekend he h...

joyoma · joyoma

I have spent the past 10 days or so being very steady and positive by hard work. My cancer issues are being addressed ODAT (the very words of my doctors), and I am accepting and working on healthy habits, including stress management. My son has two weeks of AA under his belt; he goes daily and has been sob...

cantmoveon · cantmoveon

so im not good at these message board thingys. well - actually i dont know if i'm not good at them i just haven't ever been on one. seems totally strage to me to reach out to a bunch of complete strangers and think they have any idea (or really care) about my long boring saga with my ex. BUT i promised a friend i...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I have been reading the book. the night of the gun by David Carr which is a recovery memoir of sorts. In the book he talks about what was the worst night for him in the drugging. For me, like David Carr, there were many many worst nights in dealing with the A. There were nights I felt absolutel...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

HI to all who know and those who don't: I GOT MY DRIVER'S LISCENCE!!!! I had so much anxiety and fear about about driving, and was totally dependant on AH for so many things related to the fact I couldn't drive. I tolerated horrible behavior and actions, including letting him drive when I knew he was drun...

maresie · maresie

Whatever happened along the way there were good times surely. There were time when the A cared, took care of, wanted a relationship. Whatever happened to him, whatever his drug addiction did, he became wanting a ATM relationship with me. I left the A a year ago, hung around for a long time taking care o...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Today's ODAT (One Day at a Time) really spoke to me. It spoke of the thought of running away and starting all over again and how that wouldn't work. Now that soudns like a good idea to me.....but where ever I go, there I am. I will be taking me with me and all my issues with me. Which brings me to the quot...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

Hi, I'm new. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an adult child of two alcoholics. My sisters and I sort of stumbled down this road to recovery. I'm glad I found this board cause my sister and I went to an al-anon meeting and did not like it. I thought if I started here maybe it would be easier. Our therap...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...

glad · glad

Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...

glad · glad

Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...

Tracy · Tracy

One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Does anyone know how to stop hating the alcoholic in your life? I feel like a horrible person. (Preview) Hi guys, My mother has struggled with alcohol since her teens to about 4 months ago (she's in her 50's now). To make a long story short, I thought how I grew up was normal, and that I was the abnormal one. I now know that it was quite the opposite! About 4 months ago my mother attempted AA (yet again). For the f...	SammyQ	9	786	Aug 8, 2008 by lin0606
	Good or Bad I'm #1 (Preview) As I was just reading posts on MIP (11:35pm) I looked down and saw a piece of paper with my name at the top. Sometimes it is nothing wrong with being #1, especially with college football season approaching and all. Anyway-------------. Something make me think this list was left so I would see it. It was...	RLC	1	427	Aug 8, 2008 by CJ
	The UPS and downs (Preview) My soon to be ex-AH is in intensive recovery, and has been for 9 months. He goes to 5 AA meetings a week, 2 professional groups, a relapse recovery program and personal counseling. I have done a really good job with detachment in regards to his recovery, but I know it is more a matter of my being forced out...	Loupiness	4	985	Aug 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	Do I want this relationship? Please share ESH (Preview) Hi All, I have been w/my husband for over 23 years, 14 of which he was in recovery without a single relapse until a few years ago, and it was hell ever since. Lost his health, job and treated his family the typical way an alcoholic treats their family. In the beginning of July, I made AH leave our house a...	queenie105	13	683	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	Acceptance (Preview) This is from a bookmark I got from MelloRon in Honolulu. Ron, if you are out there reading this, thank you for this piece that you gave me, it has gotten me through some very difficult times and leads me every single day. I do not know if it is an al anon thing or a Ron thing or something else but it sure works fo...	Jean4444	3	505	Aug 7, 2008 by maresie
	Alcoholism versus Cancer (Preview) My chronic alcoholic step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer in the last two months. It is slow growing but she has started to dehydrate and is falling down a lot. She has also been diagnosed with diabetes. Her daughters my half sisters know at this stage and though not as much in denial as what th...	maire rua	4	760	Aug 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	When to let go (Preview) My first post here have gotten so much from reading everyone. My A is turning himself in for a 6 month jail term for his 3rd DUI. This gives me hope thinking maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit to make some positive changes in his life. It is hard being with someone and knowing they are not living up to the...	suzip	4	483	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	My Denial (Preview) I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be. I can fantasize about the life I could have with him. When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life tha...	Codependent	2	412	Aug 7, 2008 by masspedirn
	Thanks for the responses-I am thinking... (Preview) that you all are right that I obviously don't know yet what I want to do. I feel like I want to say no to some things, but fear that I won't be able to do this when the time comes. Like Jerry said maybe I am not convinced. Though I feel like I am convinced, just also that I am ashamed that I have not been able to,...	Codependent	3	373	Aug 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	About giving advice (Preview) I'm curious why giving advice is discouraged in alanon. I've only been to one face to face meeting and part of what I didn't like about it was there was no feedback. I guess I just don't understand or haven't caught on yet.	StargazerLily	11	3575	Aug 7, 2008 by david62
	If I disappear for the weekend... (Preview) It does look like he is going to get out tomorrow or Friday. His mom is going out of town and told me that she told his brother to bring him to my house. I told her I just wasn't really sure about that after giving it some thought. She went on to ask me just to "take care of him for the weekend" unti...	Codependent	7	417	Aug 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Relieved (Preview) I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior. My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources. I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. At the same time no matter what the situation I feel jus...	maresie	1	383	Aug 7, 2008 by mslouise
	Hi,I'm a newcomer (Preview) Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...	xjuliax	4	457	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	still over reacting (Preview) After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...	maresie	1	398	Aug 7, 2008 by kitty
	Cunning, Baffling and Powerful (Preview) I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...	serenity041807	2	546	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	How grateful can we be??? (Preview) ((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...	shadow1	7	498	Aug 6, 2008 by norwood
	What are you filling yourself up with? (Preview) (((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...	david62	7	637	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	Hello all! (Preview) I just started this forum today, and already replied to a post before even saying hello to yall. So, I figured I might was well do it before it gets too late.	J.R.	3	326	Aug 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	quietly suffacating... (Preview) ..into my own madness here as my a is really just a huge pain in my ass but i can not get rid of her stifling i say and i am going to meetings and hopefully doing the right things and the trust is basically dead...and i am trying hard not to let her in my home...and i picked up the phone and its starting all over ag...	charlescharles	6	518	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	Thoughts (Preview) Just some thoughts I'm having. I have posted a couple times. I have received responses, more than I was expecting. Some were overwhelming to me. I could not absorb the concepts that were being shared. I did get some things out of the responses though. I hope its ok. I was initially thinking I would post h...	StargazerLily	2	303	Aug 6, 2008 by J.R.
	Detachment- I need some tips as quickly as possible. :) (Preview) If you read my previous post you know that my A is getting out of jail this week- probably by Friday and he is "planning" to come to my house. These are tentative plans because we had spoken of it, but now that it is coming to a date I am getting nervous and I can tell he is as well. He offered to go t...	Codependent	7	785	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	My AH hit on my daughter!!! (Preview) Just when I thought things were getting on track BOOM!! Off the track again. I have been working my program and it has been working. I have been in therapy, and have been feeling quite well. Then last night my 22 year old daughter informs me that when her and AH went out for drinks about a month ago, he hit on...	wildthang86	7	684	Aug 6, 2008 by wildthang86
	Finally spoke with my ex (Preview) Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	528	Aug 6, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Is it normal? (Preview) Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...	mum2leahnjosh	9	445	Aug 6, 2008 by SammyQ
	Lost all my serenity at the sight of my abuser in court today (Preview) But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...	Jean4444	9	610	Aug 5, 2008 by maresie
	putting it all together.... (Preview) Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...	Loupiness	2	337	Aug 5, 2008 by nmike
	He's getting out and I am nervous. (Preview) Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...	Codependent	4	575	Aug 5, 2008 by RLC
	my seasons (Preview) I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....	Jean4444	4	292	Aug 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	30 days (Preview) Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...	liljeannie	4	253	Aug 5, 2008 by liljeannie
	A Very Special and Loved Birthday Girl Today (Preview) Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria	Maria123	9	359	Aug 5, 2008 by Peggy7
	the kids are coming back (Preview) Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...	mo14	1	351	Aug 4, 2008 by Mandy123
	Reminding Myself I'm Grateful.... (Preview) As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...	lmw	3	340	Aug 4, 2008 by lmw
	mood swings? (Preview) My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...	afglin	5	432	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	You all really do help...my saturday (Preview) I started my weekend positive. I was so proud of myself on Saturaday. My recov bf spent the whole day Saturday away from home working on his hunting lease with his best friend (this is the friend that has the "friendly" girlfriend..past issues there). I was proud of myself, because I ac...	mslouise	4	578	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	running (Preview) Over the past3 and a half years I have told my A I love him and always given him hope that things will work out. when we split I give him hope tell him I love him need space but will waite while he sorts himself out. He never does and just manipulates his way back into my life. Things have changed slowely as I am...	Tracy	4	406	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Please pray for me (Preview) Some of those who know me, know that I have recently suffered a misscarriage and had a D&C. Just over the weekend I have been feeling really really ill. Been sick and feel really run down. I am also in alot of pain in the lower region of my tummy (period pains) and I am bleeding very heavy. Im thinking I m...	mum2leahnjosh	4	439	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Off into deep waters... (Preview) Hello Family, I am off into deep waters for the rest of the month as I sail south to my daughter's where I am going to look after the grandchildren and the 'zoo' for a week. I keep checking if my one brain cell is still functioning; or if I have any screws loose, however I am so looking forward to having the ch...	Suzannah	1	366	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	square 1 (Preview) so, I'm in a wierd mood... I am getting ready to move from ohio to nc...and I am realizing that I have to start over. I am gonna be in a new state that has no baggage. Now, that's a good thing but I am realizing that I am not going to have the familliarness of where I am now...and I'm scared cause even though I kno...	seekingserenity	3	359	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	another stary night (Preview) good evening folks thought i would share my a has really gone over the edge..threatening suicide..taking pilss and generally being rather unhappy and even tragic i told her today that i would either call the cops...change my phone number or even relocate i know these are just words but hopefully i ca...	charlescharles	5	456	Aug 4, 2008 by lin0606
	A few hours later!! (Preview) This morning I was cautiously optimistic about my son's AA attendance the past two weeks. Now, just a few hours after that post, he calls. Ranting, slurring a bit, negativity, irritability, griping.....same old, same old. Good thing people here told me to have "no expectations" beca...	joyoma	4	524	Aug 4, 2008 by lin0606
	Emotions (Preview) I'm new to the board. I left and filed for divorce from my AH over the past month. I do love him, we've been together for 20 years of which 13 we were married. I have been very angry and hurt for a long time. I started doing some al anon reading and meetings and it's making alot of sense. My father was a...	Marshmallow	3	697	Aug 4, 2008 by Suzannah
	Never getting close? (Preview) I feel like I will never be able to get really close to anyone ever again. This makes me sad. I have always craved this, of course. I know how to detach, but when will I learn to attach in a healthy way, if ever? I have learned how to not act through this program but how do I learn how to act? Any advice or ESH...	Jean4444	14	567	Aug 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feeling Helpless Even Though I Should Be Feeling Relieved (Preview) Although I have moved on with my life and am very happy, I can't help but have thoughts of my ex A b/f and all that he's dealing with right now. Guess thats one of my weaknesses. Once someone is in my heart, there always remains a place for them there, even if its a very little place. As you may recall, he was...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	704	Aug 4, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	it doesn't have to mean anything... (Preview) As thoughts come shooting into my mind, I have found it helpful to post them here. I have discovered it is a good way to keep me from obsessing, and get it out and processed. Then, the comments give me other helpful perspectives, so then I can move on. So, 4 in the morning and here I am... Over the past few da...	Loupiness	5	540	Aug 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	God never gives you more than you can handle. (Preview) Aloha Family!! I believe that I once posted about a customer and good friend that was having much trouble with being clean and sober and the ups and downs, ins and outs of relapse. Two weeks ago she was bundled up much to chagrin and hauled off to the rehab program very near to my home. She was reluctant an...	Jerry F	6	602	Aug 4, 2008 by Suzannah
	Question regarding my parents (Preview) I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked...	StargazerLily	5	456	Aug 4, 2008 by StargazerLily
	brand new to this life (Preview) When I need help I go to my friends. You are now invited to be my friend. Like I said I'm new to this. I have one face to face Naranon meeting under my belt. I will be back to it on Wednesday but I need more support. My 17 year old son is moving back into our life after a 90 day trip into rehab. This weekend he h...	notalone	2	495	Aug 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	being steady/positive (Preview) I have spent the past 10 days or so being very steady and positive by hard work. My cancer issues are being addressed ODAT (the very words of my doctors), and I am accepting and working on healthy habits, including stress management. My son has two weeks of AA under his belt; he goes daily and has been sob...	joyoma	2	470	Aug 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	new. and annoyed! (Preview) so im not good at these message board thingys. well - actually i dont know if i'm not good at them i just haven't ever been on one. seems totally strage to me to reach out to a bunch of complete strangers and think they have any idea (or really care) about my long boring saga with my ex. BUT i promised a friend i...	cantmoveon	17	676	Aug 3, 2008 by cantmoveon
	The worst night (Preview) As you all know I have been reading the book. the night of the gun by David Carr which is a recovery memoir of sorts. In the book he talks about what was the worst night for him in the drugging. For me, like David Carr, there were many many worst nights in dealing with the A. There were nights I felt absolutel...	maresie	7	431	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	It's HUGE!!! (Preview) HI to all who know and those who don't: I GOT MY DRIVER'S LISCENCE!!!! I had so much anxiety and fear about about driving, and was totally dependant on AH for so many things related to the fact I couldn't drive. I tolerated horrible behavior and actions, including letting him drive when I knew he was drun...	RainyJamie	15	538	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	The ATM relationship (Preview) Whatever happened along the way there were good times surely. There were time when the A cared, took care of, wanted a relationship. Whatever happened to him, whatever his drug addiction did, he became wanting a ATM relationship with me. I left the A a year ago, hung around for a long time taking care o...	maresie	1	470	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	Today's ODAT (Preview) Hi all, Today's ODAT (One Day at a Time) really spoke to me. It spoke of the thought of running away and starting all over again and how that wouldn't work. Now that soudns like a good idea to me.....but where ever I go, there I am. I will be taking me with me and all my issues with me. Which brings me to the quot...	Mandy123	3	5222	Aug 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Hi Everyone (Preview) Hi, I'm new. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an adult child of two alcoholics. My sisters and I sort of stumbled down this road to recovery. I'm glad I found this board cause my sister and I went to an al-anon meeting and did not like it. I thought if I started here maybe it would be easier. Our therap...	StargazerLily	9	491	Aug 3, 2008 by Loupiness
	Update and Information Needed On Rehab (Preview) Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	480	Aug 3, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Emotions (Preview) Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...	glad	1	400	Aug 2, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to do when you see them hurting? (Preview) Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...	glad	11	648	Aug 2, 2008 by glad
	ANOTHER A walks into my life??!!....yikes! (Preview) OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...	Jean4444	11	468	Aug 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	Low and behold, he's crashed and is suffering the consequences (Preview) What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	585	Aug 2, 2008 by maresie
	what about me (Preview) One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...	Tracy	6	529	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.