Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...

AlJay1721 · AlJay1721

Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...

puzzle · puzzle

....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...

jewely · jewely

just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...

Gared · Gared

It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...

Mariner · Mariner

The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...

joyoma · joyoma

Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...

MARGINALISED · MARGINALISED

This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...

RLC · RLC

This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...

suzyb · suzyb

I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......

suzip · suzip

You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...

Fifi · Fifi

Hello after a long time, As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here. This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...

nmike · nmike

lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...

mslouise · mslouise

I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...

mimidtw · mimidtw

Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...

glow · glow

Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...

mslouise · mslouise

I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...

ddub · ddub

.........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...

Diva · Diva

"Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN. I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course. I am not proud of this. I need to ju...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...

mslouise · mslouise

Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...

jkprewett · jkprewett

I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...

mslouise · mslouise

So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...

stormie · stormie

My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...

Suzannah · Suzannah

After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...

mslouise · mslouise

It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...

kennymack · kennymack

I want to thank you all for the replies to my post the other day about my brother. You really gave mom and I a lot of good information, and a lot to think about. Here is a quick update on the situation: He's left the hospital bed, and was baker acted and moved to the behavioral health section for an undetermi...

lmw · lmw

My A has been sober since mid-April and is almost halfway through a 6 month rehab program. He has been working a "get well" job but looking for something more permanent. Since he hasn't been working long, hasn't been getting 40 hours, and doesn't make much money, he hasn't been paying chi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey y'all! Just an update! I am doing better. I am still moving until Sept. 30th. It is a slow process, but I am getting things done. Thanks to God, I have my wits about me and that I haven't gotten too overwhelmed! I'll get back to you when the moving is closer to getting done or when it is completed and I am...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realize...

charlescharles · charlescharles

oh my god..my a is crazy..she is so out of it sometimes it is amazing..she aient drinking or drugging and seems to be being productive since she got back from where she was but she is a mess she knows i am not in love with her...and even thinks there is no future with us...and she knows she really did go over b...

jewely · jewely

yesterday was a crazy day. we had the back hoe out here on our property to dig the electric lines. we did the safety calls first, they came out and told us where the lines were and where it was safe to dig. my husband being an excavator by trade operated the hoe. he hit a hidden line. out goes the power, up cam...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, In my last post, I was angry, frustrated and working towards a solution, or him seeing MY point of view. Well, he did, he is not happy about it, but whats done is done. I am now the owner of a 2001 Nissan Altima, totally paid for and totally in my name. Though he is unhappy about this, and has...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Beginning a new job Training information coming in at break neck speed Driving on interstates long since driven Trying my hand back out in the work world Alarms, Timers, Supervisors, Buzzers From sedate to intense Appropriate appearance required Less then confident in new found techniques Peopl...

kitty · kitty

Hello family! Everyone I have talked to so far is doing okay. Most of Houston is still without any power... driving is hazardous b/c there are no traffic lights. The city is having a curfew all week, so no driving between dusk to dawn. Somehow I was one of the first 100,000 to have power restored. Th...

Diva · Diva

Had a grand time in Hawaii. He went. No drinking. Just loads of fun in paradise. I had made up my mind to give "us" another chance. But, the last few days he has been having, "a drink." A drink, keep in mind, is a half-pint of gin. This evening I had a new friend in. SOmeone I lik...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have not had any electricity for a week! wow! I am so glad to have it back. I will be in touch more soon. I even get to do laundry finally! And I get to cook my own meals again! I have a huge gratitude list today. Hugs, J.

mslouise · mslouise

Please bere with me as I am having a really hard time. My family says my exbf wants me to think down on myself. Wants me to feel all the blame. Wants me to doubt myself. I know I was getting stronger because I wouldn't take some of the downing comments he used to say to me like "you have no friends&qu...

Aljani · Aljani

I have been dealing with my husband for over 12 years now but the last couple of years have been extremely hard. Seems he is drinking way more ever since I got pregnant with our third child, then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 months later and about a month after she passed away my 10 daug...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi everyone, I posted in here a couple of times re: my A-ExBf and how we split... Well, turns out i've been doing pretty well in keeping away from him. Thankfully he hasnt contacted me either (or tried to). I have however been approached by other guys (one in particular) and we've actually been chatti...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I do have a sponsor who is a double winner. She has been working the steps with me and she did admit that she only knows one way to work the steps and that is the AA way. I have heard it said that the 4th step in AA is different from the one in Al-Anon. Can someone clarify this for me? Thanks

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi everyone, The last few weeks have been really tough. I finally understand that I matter, and my son matters, enough to create a boundary for my AH. My boundary was that I didnt want to live with AH if he continued to drink and be drunk in our home. My AH "moved out" and has been gone now for 3 day...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just abit restless tonight..thinking about what i can do to make my life the best i can...trying to find some self love here..where i put my wants and needs before the others..and do what i need to do to get the ball rolling in my own life not having to worry or take care of the other..making it so they can de...

mslouise · mslouise

So as you all know my "sober"abf moved himself out on Monday. I told him please do not take any money out of the account as we had pending payments - 1 of which was for a medical bill for him (we didn't have much in there anyways). On Tuesday am he texted me saying he withdrew $50. Asked him ag...

debilyn · debilyn

I am still sick from the horrendous behavior of the driver I had to Ca. Being stuck like that, with no choice was so horrible. I do not see how anyone could live like that day to day with out going crazy. My A was not that type of abusive. Plus I could leave or whatever, was never stuck. My prayers and love to yo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Poor choice of words! (Preview) I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...	Hoot Nanny	5	511	Sep 29, 2008 by maire rua
	New to this..... (Preview) Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...	AlJay1721	3	545	Sep 29, 2008 by maresie
	It's been a while.... (Preview) ....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...	puzzle	3	554	Sep 28, 2008 by nmike
	Am I missing something here? (Preview) Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...	Mariner	4	829	Sep 28, 2008 by glad
	serenity within the sadness (Preview) just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...	jewely	6	555	Sep 28, 2008 by Peggy7
	Trichotillomania Anyone? (Preview) As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...	StargazerLily	7	688	Sep 28, 2008 by M3
	I don't understasnd (Preview) It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...	Gared	5	670	Sep 27, 2008 by kitty
	one step forward 10 steps back (Preview) The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...	Mariner	4	769	Sep 27, 2008 by maresie
	struggling (Preview) Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...	joyoma	6	571	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	Please help me understand ... new to Alanon (Preview) This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...	MARGINALISED	7	626	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	How I Start My Day (Preview) This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...	RLC	6	696	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	My daughter says to me (Preview) I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...	RainyJamie	10	518	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	alcoholic son (Preview) I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...	suzyb	8	10567	Sep 27, 2008 by suzyb
	Crying.... at meetings, or in general... (Preview) Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......	canadianguy	7	738	Sep 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to say... (Preview) You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...	suzip	3	575	Sep 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	Re-Connecting (Preview) Hello after a long time, As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here. This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...	Fifi	2	594	Sep 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just checking in (Preview) lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...	nmike	5	505	Sep 26, 2008 by Maria123
	acceptance and great thanks (Preview) I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...	mslouise	5	575	Sep 26, 2008 by Maria123
	Went to my first Meeting! (Preview) Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...	mimidtw	8	507	Sep 26, 2008 by buick23
	Anonymity for the Alcoholic from the Alanon member? (Preview) Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...	glow	8	601	Sep 26, 2008 by Mobirdie
	a little scared today..my first outing alone (Preview) I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...	mslouise	11	865	Sep 25, 2008 by debilyn
	more (Preview) just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...	charlescharles	5	449	Sep 25, 2008 by RLC
	aware, accept,........ (Preview) .........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...	ddub	3	530	Sep 24, 2008 by nmike
	Is Prevention Possible? (Preview) So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...	carolinagirl	10	720	Sep 24, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	To those who asked. (Preview) "Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...	Diva	6	585	Sep 24, 2008 by Jill
	Stressed Out Even Though I Havent Talked to the Ex! UGH (Preview) Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	568	Sep 24, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	realization (Preview) time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN. I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course. I am not proud of this. I need to ju...	Jean4444	7	590	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	default reactions (Preview) hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...	seekingserenity	3	450	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	update on all (Preview) Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...	maire rua	2	474	Sep 24, 2008 by nmike
	Balled all the way home, but in a good way (Preview) Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...	mslouise	3	655	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	New to Alanon and need help! (Preview) I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...	jkprewett	9	646	Sep 24, 2008 by maire rua
	feel off the wagon (Preview) So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...	mslouise	4	576	Sep 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	Driving Drunk (Preview) My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...	stormie	11	1580	Sep 23, 2008 by stormie
	another day (Preview) just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......	charlescharles	3	505	Sep 23, 2008 by maresie
	food addiction? (Preview) anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.	MommaMia14	4	1352	Sep 23, 2008 by carolinagirl
	NEED ADVICE! (Preview) My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...	roxygirl	7	668	Sep 23, 2008 by abbyal
	Practising detaching (Preview) Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...	maire rua	3	555	Sep 23, 2008 by maire rua
	Miracle in progress (Preview) After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...	Suzannah	6	1320	Sep 22, 2008 by lin0606
	I need an 'attitude adjustment'-having a rough time (Preview) First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...	hippietrippiechick	5	449	Sep 22, 2008 by maresie
	My weekend - Thank you all - slowly moving foward (Preview) It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...	mslouise	4	571	Sep 22, 2008 by maresie
	still sharing (Preview) hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...	charlescharles	3	539	Sep 22, 2008 by kitty
	Thank you all for your thoughtful replies (Preview) I want to thank you all for the replies to my post the other day about my brother. You really gave mom and I a lot of good information, and a lot to think about. Here is a quick update on the situation: He's left the hospital bed, and was baker acted and moved to the behavioral health section for an undetermi...	kennymack	3	546	Sep 22, 2008 by kitty
	Once an A, always a ..... liar? (Preview) My A has been sober since mid-April and is almost halfway through a 6 month rehab program. He has been working a "get well" job but looking for something more permanent. Since he hasn't been working long, hasn't been getting 40 hours, and doesn't make much money, he hasn't been paying chi...	lmw	7	2172	Sep 22, 2008 by Karilynn
	Still moving! (Preview) Hey y'all! Just an update! I am doing better. I am still moving until Sept. 30th. It is a slow process, but I am getting things done. Thanks to God, I have my wits about me and that I haven't gotten too overwhelmed! I'll get back to you when the moving is closer to getting done or when it is completed and I am...	Hoot Nanny	2	417	Sep 22, 2008 by Suzannah
	Check Up (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realize...	Karilynn	10	564	Sep 22, 2008 by Suzannah
	need to rant (Preview) oh my god..my a is crazy..she is so out of it sometimes it is amazing..she aient drinking or drugging and seems to be being productive since she got back from where she was but she is a mess she knows i am not in love with her...and even thinks there is no future with us...and she knows she really did go over b...	charlescharles	4	471	Sep 21, 2008 by glad lee
	much ado about nothing[to big] (Preview) yesterday was a crazy day. we had the back hoe out here on our property to dig the electric lines. we did the safety calls first, they came out and told us where the lines were and where it was safe to dig. my husband being an excavator by trade operated the hoe. he hit a hidden line. out goes the power, up cam...	jewely	4	519	Sep 21, 2008 by jewely
	1 step closer...yay! (Preview) Hello family, In my last post, I was angry, frustrated and working towards a solution, or him seeing MY point of view. Well, he did, he is not happy about it, but whats done is done. I am now the owner of a 2001 Nissan Altima, totally paid for and totally in my name. Though he is unhappy about this, and has...	liljeannie	1	411	Sep 21, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	New Changes, New Choices.... (Preview) Beginning a new job Training information coming in at break neck speed Driving on interstates long since driven Trying my hand back out in the work world Alarms, Timers, Supervisors, Buzzers From sedate to intense Appropriate appearance required Less then confident in new found techniques Peopl...	Peggy7	4	638	Sep 21, 2008 by aunitedway
	Ike Aftermath (Preview) Hello family! Everyone I have talked to so far is doing okay. Most of Houston is still without any power... driving is hazardous b/c there are no traffic lights. The city is having a curfew all week, so no driving between dusk to dawn. Somehow I was one of the first 100,000 to have power restored. Th...	kitty	9	546	Sep 21, 2008 by aunitedway
	Back to step #1....sigh.... (Preview) Had a grand time in Hawaii. He went. No drinking. Just loads of fun in paradise. I had made up my mind to give "us" another chance. But, the last few days he has been having, "a drink." A drink, keep in mind, is a half-pint of gin. This evening I had a new friend in. SOmeone I lik...	Diva	23	804	Sep 21, 2008 by Jill
	I have electricity! (Preview) I have not had any electricity for a week! wow! I am so glad to have it back. I will be in touch more soon. I even get to do laundry finally! And I get to cook my own meals again! I have a huge gratitude list today. Hugs, J.	Jean4444	3	434	Sep 21, 2008 by ddub
	please help having a hard time...sorry to go on and on (Preview) Please bere with me as I am having a really hard time. My family says my exbf wants me to think down on myself. Wants me to feel all the blame. Wants me to doubt myself. I know I was getting stronger because I wouldn't take some of the downing comments he used to say to me like "you have no friends&qu...	mslouise	8	630	Sep 20, 2008 by serendipity
	Would like some advice (Preview) I have been dealing with my husband for over 12 years now but the last couple of years have been extremely hard. Seems he is drinking way more ever since I got pregnant with our third child, then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 months later and about a month after she passed away my 10 daug...	Aljani	5	692	Sep 20, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Still Going Strong! (Preview) Hi everyone, I posted in here a couple of times re: my A-ExBf and how we split... Well, turns out i've been doing pretty well in keeping away from him. Thankfully he hasnt contacted me either (or tried to). I have however been approached by other guys (one in particular) and we've actually been chatti...	cherrygirl30	4	534	Sep 20, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	How does an AA 4th step differ from Al-Anon 4th Step (Preview) I do have a sponsor who is a double winner. She has been working the steps with me and she did admit that she only knows one way to work the steps and that is the AA way. I have heard it said that the 4th step in AA is different from the one in Al-Anon. Can someone clarify this for me? Thanks	Mobirdie	6	7282	Sep 20, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Why do I feel like something bad is headed my way? (Preview) Hi everyone, The last few weeks have been really tough. I finally understand that I matter, and my son matters, enough to create a boundary for my AH. My boundary was that I didnt want to live with AH if he continued to drink and be drunk in our home. My AH "moved out" and has been gone now for 3 day...	Rocky38	5	647	Sep 20, 2008 by Maria123
	how do u live a good life (Preview) just abit restless tonight..thinking about what i can do to make my life the best i can...trying to find some self love here..where i put my wants and needs before the others..and do what i need to do to get the ball rolling in my own life not having to worry or take care of the other..making it so they can de...	charlescharles	5	586	Sep 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	the saga continues.... (Preview) So as you all know my "sober"abf moved himself out on Monday. I told him please do not take any money out of the account as we had pending payments - 1 of which was for a medical bill for him (we didn't have much in there anyways). On Tuesday am he texted me saying he withdrew $50. Asked him ag...	mslouise	6	490	Sep 19, 2008 by serendipity
	How do you do it????? (Preview) I am still sick from the horrendous behavior of the driver I had to Ca. Being stuck like that, with no choice was so horrible. I do not see how anyone could live like that day to day with out going crazy. My A was not that type of abusive. Plus I could leave or whatever, was never stuck. My prayers and love to yo...	debilyn	4	465	Sep 19, 2008 by serendipity
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.