Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...

princessloretta · princessloretta

From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...

buick23 · buick23

Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...

Searching2008 · Searching2008

and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...

nalani · nalani

... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...

Suzannah · Suzannah

... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...

buick23 · buick23

Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...

princessloretta · princessloretta

I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...

madmom · madmom

Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...

maresie · maresie

Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...

glad · glad

Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...

AlJay1721 · AlJay1721

Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...

puzzle · puzzle

....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...

jewely · jewely

just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...

Gared · Gared

It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...

Mariner · Mariner

The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...

joyoma · joyoma

Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...

MARGINALISED · MARGINALISED

This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...

RLC · RLC

This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...

suzyb · suzyb

I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......

suzip · suzip

You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...

Fifi · Fifi

Hello after a long time, As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here. This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...

nmike · nmike

lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...

mslouise · mslouise

I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...

mimidtw · mimidtw

Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...

glow · glow

Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...

mslouise · mslouise

I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...

ddub · ddub

.........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...

Diva · Diva

"Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN. I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course. I am not proud of this. I need to ju...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...

mslouise · mslouise

Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...

jkprewett · jkprewett

I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...

mslouise · mslouise

So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...

stormie · stormie

My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...

Suzannah · Suzannah

After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...

mslouise · mslouise

It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...

kennymack · kennymack

I want to thank you all for the replies to my post the other day about my brother. You really gave mom and I a lot of good information, and a lot to think about. Here is a quick update on the situation: He's left the hospital bed, and was baker acted and moved to the behavioral health section for an undetermi...

lmw · lmw

My A has been sober since mid-April and is almost halfway through a 6 month rehab program. He has been working a "get well" job but looking for something more permanent. Since he hasn't been working long, hasn't been getting 40 hours, and doesn't make much money, he hasn't been paying chi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey y'all! Just an update! I am doing better. I am still moving until Sept. 30th. It is a slow process, but I am getting things done. Thanks to God, I have my wits about me and that I haven't gotten too overwhelmed! I'll get back to you when the moving is closer to getting done or when it is completed and I am...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realize...

charlescharles · charlescharles

oh my god..my a is crazy..she is so out of it sometimes it is amazing..she aient drinking or drugging and seems to be being productive since she got back from where she was but she is a mess she knows i am not in love with her...and even thinks there is no future with us...and she knows she really did go over b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	This is long.... sorry (Preview) Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	12	695	Oct 1, 2008 by kitty
	feeling very hurt today (Preview) From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...	princessloretta	9	918	Oct 1, 2008 by maresie
	asober is really irritating me (Preview) Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...	buick23	8	620	Oct 1, 2008 by buick23
	Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism... (Preview) and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...	Searching2008	6	669	Oct 1, 2008 by RLC
	it sure is amazing ... (Preview) ... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...	nalani	5	826	Sep 30, 2008 by ddub
	The first day of the rest of my life... (Preview) ... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...	Suzannah	5	589	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	arguments and opinions (Preview) Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...	buick23	3	601	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	Understand. (Preview) Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...	Sincerely	3	571	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	follow up to my post yesterday, needing to vent. (Preview) I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...	princessloretta	6	663	Sep 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	New and preparing to confront (again) (Preview) Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...	madmom	14	862	Sep 30, 2008 by madmom
	Hubby started drinking again.. ugh (Preview) Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...	princessloretta	11	2259	Sep 30, 2008 by buick23
	survival on a better level. (Preview) Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...	maresie	6	578	Sep 30, 2008 by Mariner
	Next right thing (Preview) Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...	glad	3	635	Sep 29, 2008 by Maria123
	Is it too much to ask????? (Preview) I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...	Sincerely	11	691	Sep 29, 2008 by Sincerely
	Poor choice of words! (Preview) I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...	Hoot Nanny	5	533	Sep 29, 2008 by maire rua
	New to this..... (Preview) Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...	AlJay1721	3	565	Sep 29, 2008 by maresie
	It's been a while.... (Preview) ....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...	puzzle	3	576	Sep 28, 2008 by nmike
	Am I missing something here? (Preview) Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...	Mariner	4	850	Sep 28, 2008 by glad
	serenity within the sadness (Preview) just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...	jewely	6	576	Sep 28, 2008 by Peggy7
	Trichotillomania Anyone? (Preview) As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...	StargazerLily	7	707	Sep 28, 2008 by M3
	I don't understasnd (Preview) It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...	Gared	5	691	Sep 27, 2008 by kitty
	one step forward 10 steps back (Preview) The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...	Mariner	4	794	Sep 27, 2008 by maresie
	struggling (Preview) Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...	joyoma	6	591	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	Please help me understand ... new to Alanon (Preview) This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...	MARGINALISED	7	651	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	How I Start My Day (Preview) This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...	RLC	6	720	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	My daughter says to me (Preview) I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...	RainyJamie	10	539	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	alcoholic son (Preview) I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...	suzyb	8	10592	Sep 27, 2008 by suzyb
	Crying.... at meetings, or in general... (Preview) Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......	canadianguy	7	770	Sep 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to say... (Preview) You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...	suzip	3	596	Sep 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	Re-Connecting (Preview) Hello after a long time, As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here. This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...	Fifi	2	617	Sep 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just checking in (Preview) lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...	nmike	5	528	Sep 26, 2008 by Maria123
	acceptance and great thanks (Preview) I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...	mslouise	5	595	Sep 26, 2008 by Maria123
	Went to my first Meeting! (Preview) Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...	mimidtw	8	528	Sep 26, 2008 by buick23
	Anonymity for the Alcoholic from the Alanon member? (Preview) Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...	glow	8	622	Sep 26, 2008 by Mobirdie
	a little scared today..my first outing alone (Preview) I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...	mslouise	11	894	Sep 25, 2008 by debilyn
	more (Preview) just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...	charlescharles	5	474	Sep 25, 2008 by RLC
	aware, accept,........ (Preview) .........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...	ddub	3	551	Sep 24, 2008 by nmike
	Is Prevention Possible? (Preview) So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...	carolinagirl	10	745	Sep 24, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	To those who asked. (Preview) "Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...	Diva	6	606	Sep 24, 2008 by Jill
	Stressed Out Even Though I Havent Talked to the Ex! UGH (Preview) Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	591	Sep 24, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	realization (Preview) time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN. I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course. I am not proud of this. I need to ju...	Jean4444	7	618	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	default reactions (Preview) hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...	seekingserenity	3	472	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	update on all (Preview) Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...	maire rua	2	495	Sep 24, 2008 by nmike
	Balled all the way home, but in a good way (Preview) Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...	mslouise	3	674	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	New to Alanon and need help! (Preview) I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...	jkprewett	9	669	Sep 24, 2008 by maire rua
	feel off the wagon (Preview) So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...	mslouise	4	596	Sep 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	Driving Drunk (Preview) My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...	stormie	11	1602	Sep 23, 2008 by stormie
	another day (Preview) just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......	charlescharles	3	529	Sep 23, 2008 by maresie
	food addiction? (Preview) anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.	MommaMia14	4	1374	Sep 23, 2008 by carolinagirl
	NEED ADVICE! (Preview) My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...	roxygirl	7	692	Sep 23, 2008 by abbyal
	Practising detaching (Preview) Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...	maire rua	3	581	Sep 23, 2008 by maire rua
	Miracle in progress (Preview) After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...	Suzannah	6	1351	Sep 22, 2008 by lin0606
	I need an 'attitude adjustment'-having a rough time (Preview) First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...	hippietrippiechick	5	470	Sep 22, 2008 by maresie
	My weekend - Thank you all - slowly moving foward (Preview) It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...	mslouise	4	595	Sep 22, 2008 by maresie
	still sharing (Preview) hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...	charlescharles	3	568	Sep 22, 2008 by kitty
	Thank you all for your thoughtful replies (Preview) I want to thank you all for the replies to my post the other day about my brother. You really gave mom and I a lot of good information, and a lot to think about. Here is a quick update on the situation: He's left the hospital bed, and was baker acted and moved to the behavioral health section for an undetermi...	kennymack	3	566	Sep 22, 2008 by kitty
	Once an A, always a ..... liar? (Preview) My A has been sober since mid-April and is almost halfway through a 6 month rehab program. He has been working a "get well" job but looking for something more permanent. Since he hasn't been working long, hasn't been getting 40 hours, and doesn't make much money, he hasn't been paying chi...	lmw	7	2277	Sep 22, 2008 by Karilynn
	Still moving! (Preview) Hey y'all! Just an update! I am doing better. I am still moving until Sept. 30th. It is a slow process, but I am getting things done. Thanks to God, I have my wits about me and that I haven't gotten too overwhelmed! I'll get back to you when the moving is closer to getting done or when it is completed and I am...	Hoot Nanny	2	445	Sep 22, 2008 by Suzannah
	Check Up (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realize...	Karilynn	10	586	Sep 22, 2008 by Suzannah
	need to rant (Preview) oh my god..my a is crazy..she is so out of it sometimes it is amazing..she aient drinking or drugging and seems to be being productive since she got back from where she was but she is a mess she knows i am not in love with her...and even thinks there is no future with us...and she knows she really did go over b...	charlescharles	4	495	Sep 21, 2008 by glad lee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.