The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realized that he had passed. But this nurse is also a recovering addict and was greatful for it. He put it in his pocket, and said "Close to my heart where it will remain." That brought tears to my eyes.
Anyway, last time I was there my cholesterol was elevated and I had gained some weight. My numbers were so-so. Now four months later, I thought I hadn't made much progress. With everything that has gone on, I didn't think the numbers would be good. But they were much better! My numbers dropped off significantly (I still have some work to do) and I did loose some weight. I kind of felt like Tim was holding my hand through all of this. The doctor was very pleased. She's really good.
She asked how I was doing emotionally. That's a different story. I asked her if I should be worried and she said no. This first year is always the hardest. It is. Fall was our time. Hard to believe that it will be 2 months this Monday. I know things will get easier with time. I am trying to stay in the moment. Letting the tears come when they want and then starting that moment over.
I walked home (5 miles) from the doctors yesterday. It was a beautiful day. Fall in the northeast can't be beat. The leaves are just starting to turn. The chipmunks and squirrels are getting frisky. So is Pipers. She's in full hunting mode. Just like her father was. I did treat myself to dinner because my numbers were so good. I was given a gift card to a bookstore, so I bought a new cookbook. I can't wait to try out some of the recipes. Yes, food can be my comfort as well as my downfall. (Sound familiar?)
All in all it was a good day. That gives me hope that I will get through this. I miss my Tim everyday. It didn't matter if he drank or not. That was his choice. It broke my heart when he drank. But it did not change the deep love I had and still have for him. I loved the man, not the disease. I know he was with me yesterday holding my hand. Or was he the chipmunk standing in front of me, debating whether or not he should cross my path? Hmm......
Thank you all for your love and support. I couldn't go through this without all of you. Enjoy your weekend. Much love and blessings to you and your families.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
-- Edited by Karilynn at 08:16, 2008-09-20
-- Edited by Karilynn at 08:18, 2008-09-20
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Im so happy that your health is headed in the right direction. I love the Fall also. I read a little of your biography and also want to say that I am very sorry for the recent loss of your husband. I hope and pray that you continue to find fulfilment as you continue life's journey.
The fall always makes me think of lovely walks, the love I have shared with my AH and the miracle of nature. I wrote a brief poem last fall, that I wanted to share with you. In advance I'll apologize if it seems a little sad, but even though it's a little sad, it is a reminder to me of how small I am and the importance of now....
Autumn Leaf Fiery red leaf Flaming in glory Using up your stores For one last blaze Living every moment Oh what a display! Before winter takes you away.
Your post truly touched my in so many areas. I am so happy you are taking good care of you. You are feelings your feelings. You walk the walk, sweet friend, not just talk the talk. I too love Fall in NE (just hate the season that follows - brrrrrrrrrrr). Glad to hear that Pipers is back to 100%.
Live strong my dear, live strong, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Great to see you are taking care of yourself! Wow, 5 miles!!! I have started going for my walks again too... I love the fall! It is too hot down here in Texas for summertime walks (or at least that is the excuse I used this year..hehe) but it is time to get back into shape for the winter!
Da boys have been getting friskier down here too, running and playing...and of course hunting with more vigor!
Such a lovely post Karilynn. I am truly blessed to call you my friend. Your strength and character are amazing. You are pure joy and caring.
Glad those numbers are down, and that you are taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Good girl. Give Pipers Kitty a hug for me. Hug her tight enough to make her, "Myaaa." And here's a hug for you too
((((Karilynn))))) Thank you for sharing on your adventure. You remain an inspiration to me. You are right where you should be :) Remember the comment : look at your feet; they are right where they are supposed to be. This one helps me from time to time, and I hope you can glean something from it too. I love the frisky animals in fall too:) Love, pw
thank you for sharing how you are doing I've been thinking of you and I echo all these replies. Wishing you peaceful sleep tonight and sweet dreams. Hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
That is a beautiful piece of descriptive writing... truly gorgeous writing...
Time has healed many of my wounds, heartbreaks and heartaches; I'm sure glad I have found people that can hold my hand all the while. Hope you keep coming back and sharing your strength and love with us.
with hope and love, cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
What a wonderful picture you painted of the fall. Here in England a friend took me out (the first time since my ungainly and painful fall on 1 September), yesterday to the country estate of The Grey Family, that is the estate of the most piteful queen of England, Lady Jane Grey who, at the age of just 16 reigned just six days because of her ambitious parents.
The estate is wonderful and the deer herds are delightful and I walked about two and a half miles with the aid of my crutches. I was delighted. We then had an English cream tea at The Barn before walking back to the car.
It was officially the last day of the summer and as my friend remarked, we certainly had some wonderful memories to take us through the Winter.
As we were walking I found myself thinking of this family and prayering that each might find something to hold on to for their coming Winter too. Your picture sounded as delightful as my own experience.
Take care dear Karilyn, you have always been an inspiration to me and you still are. With my love Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
My numbers dropped off significantly (I still have some work to do) and I did loose some weight. I kind of felt like Tim was holding my hand through all of this. The doctor was very pleased. She's really good. 
I was given a gift card to a bookstore, so I bought a new cookbook. I can't wait to try out some of the recipes. Yes, food can be my comfort as well as my downfall. (Sound familiar?) 
