Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debilyn · debilyn

I would say it is driving me crazy, but I am there already. For weeks and weeks I dream about my first husband every single night. My doctor told me I am trying to connect with him. For awhile it was kinda nice, was the only time I was not alone. But now it is affecting me even when I wake up. It almost scares me...

maresie · maresie

I've just been reading a research paper about alcoholism that describes the alcoholic as 'impulsive". The paper also suggested that there were various "cues" that the alcoholic associated with drinking. On the same level I think when I was with the alcoholic and even today in my...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Okay family, I am at that place AGAIN, sigh, when it all comes back to that beautiful word...SERENITY. I thought that once I had found it, I would never let it go. Well, I have had to think again. You see, I have had glimpses of it and it has slipped from me...this time, I am not prepared to let it go so I thoug...

introduction new member · maryam

I am new here and am going insane with my b/f, he is a severe alcoholic and has been for most of his life. Has been in and out of treatment, more detox then i can remember, sad thing is i moved in here last year when all was ok again, believing as many of us do MAYBE THIS TIME! well it has continued since then and a...

maresie · maresie

Since new year I have been really working on getting out and doing as much as I can to improve my physical health. Every day I work on eating better, and trying to work on getting better on so many levels. I am fully aware living with an active alcoholic for 8 years took an enormous toll on me. Right now I am...

missing out · missing out

Well... Yet another day... Most of you that have read my thoughts know that my broter is an A... Well after reading all that I have "So far" and learning what I learned.. I still can not stand the fact that my brother is almost 30 yrs old...And is TOTALLY CLUELESS. Since my fathers passing a cou...

glad · glad

Well like an idot I was looking at a relationship building exercise online, that includes the "di-add" (sp?), where you look into your partners eyes for extended periods of time and share etc... exercises he OF COURSE- REJECTED at the moment i brought it up. Then this morning said &qu...

maryam · maryam

Just wanted to thank you all for your replys and for making me feel welcome, I am in such a state, This is day 15 of the drinking, I tried to get him to go for help today, but due to him now being charged for it he dicided to try to stop on his own by slowing it down, worked once before , but i don't think it will thi...

Rora · Rora

Being separated from my aH, I am still shaky on my feet in the newness of my life. We've been very on and off for the past year, each of us moving in our own directions. I feel as though, the reconciliations of the past have been a result of my being willing to "chase" him, make ammends, insanely...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful that we are all in this together--no matter how crazy life gets, we have each other! I am never alone because I have a God of my understanding that is always with me. He will pull me through any rough situation if I let HIM. And, I just want to say to all: Hang in there & wait for the miracl...

barisax · barisax

Stuff just pops into my head, and sometimes I find words to express about something from long ago. I don't know what triggered it today, but - I found myself thinking about a conversation I had with my cousin 10 or more years ago. This was a cousin I had never actually met - one of many offspring of an uncl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I met a guy and our "relationship" is moving along VERY quickly. I am being sucked in by the black hole of love again and I am not really sure how to behave. All of my relationships have been very fast moving and this is no exception. In the past they have all been alcoholics/addicts. I ha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I got to thinking today and thought maybe it was just easier for me to think that he was a manipulative, game playing lier than an alcoholic. I never knew him when he was drinking so have little to go on there, but it just seems to me that so much of his behavior and thought processes were all over and irrat...

Rora · Rora

My aH from whom I am separated made plans with me to pick up our son at 6am today.(They have to be 2 hrs away at 8am). It's chatted up over the weekend, "...going on a big long drive, need to get up nice and early...etc" So, son and I get up at 5:15am. (Normally, we'd get up around 6:15am) Son is up a...

Codependent · Codependent

I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time. All women. It was great as they were so nice to me and basically made the meeting about me. Told the truth about my ambivalence in defining myself as an alcoholic. I'll def be going back.

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post. I'm really trying to stay strong and focus f on myself....I really am. Just when I think I'm doing good I relapse. My AH is still drinking on and off. If he goes thru stages and when he is not drinking is when I relapse. And then it's even harder to get back...

Canary · Canary

As you all know, if you have read my posts and remember me, I removed my aH from the home 28 days ago after coming home drunk. In short, he was sober for 8 years, started drinking (binge drinker), went to rehab and was sober for another 5 months. After enduring a year of chaos, insanity, fear and panic, I tol...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, Wanted to reach out and share a bit on what's going on for me in recovery. Sometimes I feel that my progress is oh so slow and I wonder if I will ever achieve the astounding progress that I've witnessed on this board and in my home group. I can remember saying that I was faking it till I make...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Hey all, I just posted the following message on the teen board.... Hey all! Meeting at 8pm EST! I'm gonna do my best to be there and if not then someone else may be there in my place you're not alone! LanchasSo I hope someone will be there if I can't. Lanchas

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

My best friend (and principal "qualifier") is sober but has dropped out of recovery (though he wouldn't put it that way) and for the last 4 or so years has been more and more self destructive. I've been in Al-anon a year. After yet another disasterous holiday season, I decided things...

missing out · missing out

I know that by now, I should be use to my Abrothers way of life, but when he does some of things that affect his children and their happiness, I would like to just bust him...His children are always asking when they can stay so I talked them a week ago, told them to go home and ask their parents if they could st...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

I cant stop crying. I dont understand why this hurts so much. Mark (the A in my life) has left me. Two days before my University interview thank you very much mark. I should be happy he has gone after everything thats happend I shoud be glad. Am I normal to be unset he has gone. This has eally messed with my he...

Codependent · Codependent

I was researching meeting times for Alanon in my area and one of them said Fellowship AFG. What does AFG mean? Also, one said beginner's. Is that the one I should attend.

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Please bear with a moment. This isn't a political statement. But I can't let the moment go by with making note of the historical significance of this day. In my lifetime, I really never thought I would see this day. I am awed by the historical significance of the moment. A new pres...

Heather72 · Heather72

I never thought I would be faced with such a troublesome situation within my own family. My daughter, who will be 4 this Sunday, has been struggling not seeing her dad. My divorced was final from him back in May of last year. I was award sole custody and he was granted supervised visitation. I particip...

tay · tay

I'll help to yall

joyoma · joyoma

For the past several weeks, my grandson (3 1/2) has begun to speak about his mother's boyfriend. My son and his EX have been divorced since the child was 9 months old. Son does have alcohol issues, attends AA sporadically, but still cannot label him an alcoholic since he is sober way more than he drink...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) Is ther no easy way?? I woke up this morning and feel I cant do this, I want to call my bf and say come back I didnt mean it, come home and stay. All his clothes are here I miss him so much. Why didnt I tel him how much I wanted him, why didnt I make him stay with me. I know I done the right thing but it...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I spoke to EXABF awhile back about perhaps starting to attend AA meetings with him, if we ever chose to get back together, my goal being to learn more about the disease of alcoholism itself and the ways that it affects a person, sober or drinking. I am betting that sober A's such as my ex, also still ca...

glad · glad

When I read Emotional Unavailablilty by Bryn C. Collins- it helped me understand even more how I didn't cause it , can't control it and can't cure it NOT alanon lit. but so very helpful. Was just rereading book and felt it might help some others. Love to all Glad

Codependent · Codependent

Went to Celebrate Recovery last night and small group on Codependency 12 steps. A couple of weeks ago I got the book and the co facilitator told me I didn't have to pay then that I could pay in a couple of weeks or never. Anyway, last night I went to the group and the facilitator noting I had a book asked if I...

Robinks · Robinks

Today, I need a prayer, encouragement and your experience, strength and hope.My son is being a jerk, he is 13. He is not keeping up with his school work. He is very smart and always has been on the honor roll, not this year. He has made two c's on report card, this last report card one C in science. He does not...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am sooooo angry right now at pretty much everything that I swear I could explode. After 2 months more, post breakup, of leading me on to believe we were on the verge of reconciling sober and IN PROGRAM 10 yrs EXABF pulls another 180 and says he was thinking that we were working toward a reconciliat...

ddub · ddub

I've been housebound for a few weeks due to temporary medical issures and inside my head at times too much. It's an art when you are isolated to set things aside and rest from it all with a movie or fiction book. Phone visits sure help to remind me to take a break but yet I am grateful for the intense rush of...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to take a minute and Thank everyone who responded to my post yesterday....Sometimes, like yesterday, I forget that I am sick to......just as much if not more than the former alcoholic in my life, and again will continue to pick and choose the same type of men in my life as long as I am. Until I fi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mahalo Thinkstoomuch!! As We Understood...is one of our pieces of CAL (Conference Approved Literature) that's been around since 1984 or so. It is great and I just picked it up again from our personal CAL library. Its a small sized (ODAT sized) reader of members reflections from all over the world. ...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

Sometimes it is so hard not to make a comment when I see him downing another beer. Or when I think he's been out to score some drugs. I've stopped myself, gotten out of the situation. And let things cool down a bit. I know he wants to quite, but I was probably just like everyone else in his life when I would ge...

maresie · maresie

I am trying to make plans for the new year in the midst of a recession. I am currently unemployed which is good and bad in some ways. In looking back at the last year I think I have still been on the holding on by my finger tips stuff. What happens for me is that I get stuck on survival and then don't do any of t...

weggie · weggie

Good Morning to all My question is how do you get past the ups and downs in your life. I know all about reading and praying to my God but I always seem to get into a slump just when I know he is drinking or gambling. Yesterday, I was at work until after 7 and missed my f to f meeting again. Its been about 3 mont...

Codependent · Codependent

As I said in my last post went to the A's mother's house last night and the A was there. Had 300 in my wallet. Left my purse in car and thought I locked it. Apparently not. This morning when I went to deposit in bank realized that I only had 140.00. Someone had taken 160.00 out hmmm... He was outside on...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I've had a rough couple of weeks (join the crowd!) and last week I felt as if al-anon had done nothing for me. I cried, I raged, I feared.... this journey just seems too long at times. It has been two years since our dysfunction came out in the open. Two years since my ah's affair began. Almost tw...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

On my post on tuesday I told how i went to buy shoes for my daughter with my AH, and how he told me that we copuld work things through but that I had to change some attitudes and that he was still going to drink and maybe do coke once in a while and I shouldn't say anything cause, he was going to do it only once in a...

anneh · anneh

-- Edited by anneh at 18:58, 2009-01-21

buick23 · buick23

Seems like I will never get what I wish/need/want out of this relationship. For some reason, since today, I am looking at things with my eyes more open now and I realized a few things. No matter if I express how I feel or wait and see what happens and not react, it remains the same. Yes, I feel more wanted for...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

I wrote the post, "Have you ever done this?" Since my son is in a treatment program during the week and drinking dangerously on the weekends, I am thinking IF I report his alcohol poisoning, it should be to his caseworker at the program. They are the ones who are trying to help him and they need...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

One of the things I hate the most about the situation with my AH is that I never get to tell him how I feel. I HATE that! Honestly, I always fantasize about the day my AH goes to rehab and during confrontation I get to tell him everything he did to me and how he made me feel. I know that shouldn't matter to me, but...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My 21 year old son is in a whole lot of trouble with the courts. He is on daily probation and has to attend a lengthy out-patient drug and alcohol program.He is complying during the week, but not on weekends with alcohol. He was rushed this Sat. by ambulance to the hospital with alcohol poisoning, He had b...

newday · newday

Today was awful. Two years ago...I detached from my A-bf of 7 years. At first I tried it mentally...but that didn't work. So we separated...and eventually I had to detach physically. It seemed to be the only thing that made him feel pain. Then I heard he was seeing someone new...a bar friend..yet stil...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I moved out of my A husbands house a week ago. Yesterday we went out to buy our daughter new shoes, and he started drinking. He started to tell me that we could work it out but I had to change and learn how to handle him. That I had to learn how to keep him clam and in the house, and that he couldn't believe that af...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I am back have not been on in three weeks. My AH came over yesterday and we got in a disargeement. He dose not understand that I can not get over the fact that he has a gender issue and I do want to live with someone that thinks he is samething that he is not. I want a man in my live and not a man that wants t...

soconfused · soconfused

Hi...I graduated from LPN school! How- I really wonder w/ all the hell I have allowed myself to go thru this last year, but regardless, I did. Question. I have an interview to work at the methadone clinic here in town, I find this to be very compelling and something I may be interested in doing. However,...

Maria123 · Maria123

Woo hoo!! Today is Christy's Birthday. She's all of 29 years old today and it is fitting that her birthday is during the winter season as she is our snow bunny always sharing pictures of her neck of the woods and hubby's too. Thank you Christy for being here for all of us, for sharing your experience, s...

Codependent · Codependent

Went to my son's grandmother's tonight for dinner. It is a Tues night ritual, though I skipped last week due to the A being there. Anyway, he was there tonight. He made chili. We had friendly conversation. I was a little nervous around him, but not too bad, kept reminding myself to let go- let go of h...

barisax · barisax

We hear those three words all the time... they appear in our Al-Anon readings at the beginning of F2F meetings. We don't give advice, we simply share our experience, strength, and hope. I am usually pretty good at #1. I don't mind talking about my experience, although in many cases, it doesn't seem...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Its been a while since Ive posted, though I do read all your posts daily. In my last post, I mentioned the drug antabuse, which my boyfriend was prescribed a month ago. He claims he is taking it daily, though since I gave up being his watchdog, I cant be totally sure of this. He is attending me...

maresie · maresie

One of the huge issues for me in recovery is self reliance. I was incredibly dependent on the A on many many levels. This weekend I had an outing with a friend of mine arranged. I had looked forward to it. The friend did not show up. I went anyway. I had no resentment just went on my way. I know for sure...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

EXABF emailed last night to tell me he hasn't been in touch because he has been inside his head again-thinking about us and how he knows he is not ready to move ahead with us right now. He mentioned how we discussed dating other people, but feels he would hurt me if he did, but he is hurting too. Feels like h...

ellens93 · ellens93

hi everyone. i'm new here, please bear with me. after a 2 year dysfunctional relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend, i finally moved out. i've never moved out of somewhere so fast in my life. my ABF was of course intriguing and adventurous at first, then i started to realize he had a problem. he al...

luvinmom · luvinmom

I cannot belive how this program is changing my perception. Here's the deal, was studying about step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a HP". I was really having a hard time accepting that. At first glance it seemed to fly in the face over everything I had been...

Ash · Ash

Thanks for all the responses and support. I am currently in the middle of taking inventory, so i feel really vulnerable and highly sensitive. I obviously have many resentments. I feel tense, with an occasional lump in my throat and a big ball of pain in my gut. I am having trouble staying focused on anyt...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	still dreaming of him/sharing (Preview) I would say it is driving me crazy, but I am there already. For weeks and weeks I dream about my first husband every single night. My doctor told me I am trying to connect with him. For awhile it was kinda nice, was the only time I was not alone. But now it is affecting me even when I wake up. It almost scares me...	debilyn	9	685	Jan 28, 2009 by debilyn
	Impulsive (Preview) I've just been reading a research paper about alcoholism that describes the alcoholic as 'impulsive". The paper also suggested that there were various "cues" that the alcoholic associated with drinking. On the same level I think when I was with the alcoholic and even today in my...	maresie	5	715	Jan 28, 2009 by blender_girl
	SERENITY...that's what I need and that's what I WANT...ALWAYS. (Preview) Okay family, I am at that place AGAIN, sigh, when it all comes back to that beautiful word...SERENITY. I thought that once I had found it, I would never let it go. Well, I have had to think again. You see, I have had glimpses of it and it has slipped from me...this time, I am not prepared to let it go so I thoug...	Suzannah	5	757	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	introduction new member (Preview) I am new here and am going insane with my b/f, he is a severe alcoholic and has been for most of his life. Has been in and out of treatment, more detox then i can remember, sad thing is i moved in here last year when all was ok again, believing as many of us do MAYBE THIS TIME! well it has continued since then and a...	maryam	8	490	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	Am I doing enugh ? (Preview) Since new year I have been really working on getting out and doing as much as I can to improve my physical health. Every day I work on eating better, and trying to work on getting better on so many levels. I am fully aware living with an active alcoholic for 8 years took an enormous toll on me. Right now I am...	maresie	2	422	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	What and when will he 'get it'.... (Preview) Well... Yet another day... Most of you that have read my thoughts know that my broter is an A... Well after reading all that I have "So far" and learning what I learned.. I still can not stand the fact that my brother is almost 30 yrs old...And is TOTALLY CLUELESS. Since my fathers passing a cou...	missing out	7	802	Jan 28, 2009 by shellyj123
	old rant- new experience brought it to mind (Preview) Well like an idot I was looking at a relationship building exercise online, that includes the "di-add" (sp?), where you look into your partners eyes for extended periods of time and share etc... exercises he OF COURSE- REJECTED at the moment i brought it up. Then this morning said &qu...	glad	3	563	Jan 28, 2009 by Jerry F
	RE........... (Preview) Just wanted to thank you all for your replys and for making me feel welcome, I am in such a state, This is day 15 of the drinking, I tried to get him to go for help today, but due to him now being charged for it he dicided to try to stop on his own by slowing it down, worked once before , but i don't think it will thi...	maryam	3	517	Jan 28, 2009 by missing out
	no more forcing outcomes (Preview) Being separated from my aH, I am still shaky on my feet in the newness of my life. We've been very on and off for the past year, each of us moving in our own directions. I feel as though, the reconciliations of the past have been a result of my being willing to "chase" him, make ammends, insanely...	Rora	5	723	Jan 27, 2009 by aunitedway
	We're all in this together (Preview) I am so grateful that we are all in this together--no matter how crazy life gets, we have each other! I am never alone because I have a God of my understanding that is always with me. He will pull me through any rough situation if I let HIM. And, I just want to say to all: Hang in there & wait for the miracl...	Hoot Nanny	4	452	Jan 27, 2009 by getoverit
	Live Recovery or Live the Disease (Preview) Stuff just pops into my head, and sometimes I find words to express about something from long ago. I don't know what triggered it today, but - I found myself thinking about a conversation I had with my cousin 10 or more years ago. This was a cousin I had never actually met - one of many offspring of an uncl...	barisax	5	669	Jan 27, 2009 by Rita G
	Throwing Caution to the wind (Preview) So I met a guy and our "relationship" is moving along VERY quickly. I am being sucked in by the black hole of love again and I am not really sure how to behave. All of my relationships have been very fast moving and this is no exception. In the past they have all been alcoholics/addicts. I ha...	carolinagirl	5	766	Jan 27, 2009 by Loupiness
	Been thinking about EABF, what part is alcholism and what part is really him?? (Preview) I got to thinking today and thought maybe it was just easier for me to think that he was a manipulative, game playing lier than an alcoholic. I never knew him when he was drinking so have little to go on there, but it just seems to me that so much of his behavior and thought processes were all over and irrat...	shellyj123	2	1254	Jan 26, 2009 by luna starla
	Making progress?? (Preview) My aH from whom I am separated made plans with me to pick up our son at 6am today.(They have to be 2 hrs away at 8am). It's chatted up over the weekend, "...going on a big long drive, need to get up nice and early...etc" So, son and I get up at 5:15am. (Normally, we'd get up around 6:15am) Son is up a...	Rora	3	520	Jan 26, 2009 by Rocky38
	Went to AA meeting (Preview) I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time. All women. It was great as they were so nice to me and basically made the meeting about me. Told the truth about my ambivalence in defining myself as an alcoholic. I'll def be going back.	Codependent	5	939	Jan 26, 2009 by Codependent
	so confused (Preview) Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post. I'm really trying to stay strong and focus f on myself....I really am. Just when I think I'm doing good I relapse. My AH is still drinking on and off. If he goes thru stages and when he is not drinking is when I relapse. And then it's even harder to get back...	sgraingermk	8	668	Jan 26, 2009 by Ickle Lynnie
	Removed him from the house and he is talking about "US" going to Disney in November. Huh?? (Preview) As you all know, if you have read my posts and remember me, I removed my aH from the home 28 days ago after coming home drunk. In short, he was sober for 8 years, started drinking (binge drinker), went to rehab and was sober for another 5 months. After enduring a year of chaos, insanity, fear and panic, I tol...	Canary	10	585	Jan 26, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Rocky's on a Pink Cloud? (Preview) Hi MIP family, Wanted to reach out and share a bit on what's going on for me in recovery. Sometimes I feel that my progress is oh so slow and I wonder if I will ever achieve the astounding progress that I've witnessed on this board and in my home group. I can remember saying that I was faking it till I make...	Rocky38	7	954	Jan 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	teen meeting help needed please! (Preview) Hey all, I just posted the following message on the teen board.... Hey all! Meeting at 8pm EST! I'm gonna do my best to be there and if not then someone else may be there in my place you're not alone! LanchasSo I hope someone will be there if I can't. Lanchas	Lanchas	3	312	Jan 26, 2009 by Lanchas
	Ego? Or not accepting unacceptable behavior? (Preview) My best friend (and principal "qualifier") is sober but has dropped out of recovery (though he wouldn't put it that way) and for the last 4 or so years has been more and more self destructive. I've been in Al-anon a year. After yet another disasterous holiday season, I decided things...	gngcrzy	6	2374	Jan 26, 2009 by Jean4444
	My A Brother at it again... aaauuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I know that by now, I should be use to my Abrothers way of life, but when he does some of things that affect his children and their happiness, I would like to just bust him...His children are always asking when they can stay so I talked them a week ago, told them to go home and ask their parents if they could st...	missing out	2	380	Jan 25, 2009 by nmike
	Distraught (Preview) I cant stop crying. I dont understand why this hurts so much. Mark (the A in my life) has left me. Two days before my University interview thank you very much mark. I should be happy he has gone after everything thats happend I shoud be glad. Am I normal to be unset he has gone. This has eally messed with my he...	mum2leahnjosh	7	544	Jan 25, 2009 by nmike
	Meeting Acronymns (Preview) I was researching meeting times for Alanon in my area and one of them said Fellowship AFG. What does AFG mean? Also, one said beginner's. Is that the one I should attend.	Codependent	3	7390	Jan 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	Innauguration Day. (Preview) ((((Family)))), Please bear with a moment. This isn't a political statement. But I can't let the moment go by with making note of the historical significance of this day. In my lifetime, I really never thought I would see this day. I am awed by the historical significance of the moment. A new pres...	Karilynn	9	863	Jan 25, 2009 by John
	Post Divorce with an apparent dead beat ex AH-- my daughter is suffering (Preview) I never thought I would be faced with such a troublesome situation within my own family. My daughter, who will be 4 this Sunday, has been struggling not seeing her dad. My divorced was final from him back in May of last year. I was award sole custody and he was granted supervised visitation. I particip...	Heather72	5	529	Jan 25, 2009 by Heather72
	yo i'll help 2 i'll help me 2 (Preview) I'll help to yall	tay	1	403	Jan 25, 2009 by debilyn
	Help me to accept this! (Preview) For the past several weeks, my grandson (3 1/2) has begun to speak about his mother's boyfriend. My son and his EX have been divorced since the child was 9 months old. Son does have alcohol issues, attends AA sporadically, but still cannot label him an alcoholic since he is sober way more than he drink...	joyoma	14	780	Jan 25, 2009 by joyoma
	Trying really hard to detach (Preview) Dear (((All))) Is ther no easy way?? I woke up this morning and feel I cant do this, I want to call my bf and say come back I didnt mean it, come home and stay. All his clothes are here I miss him so much. Why didnt I tel him how much I wanted him, why didnt I make him stay with me. I know I done the right thing but it...	Mariner	4	488	Jan 25, 2009 by Canary
	Am I being Naive??? Looking for a book..........any input would be great! (Preview) I spoke to EXABF awhile back about perhaps starting to attend AA meetings with him, if we ever chose to get back together, my goal being to learn more about the disease of alcoholism itself and the ways that it affects a person, sober or drinking. I am betting that sober A's such as my ex, also still ca...	shellyj123	6	638	Jan 24, 2009 by Canary
	so they hurt us again and again, and seem to think we deserve it? (Preview) When I read Emotional Unavailablilty by Bryn C. Collins- it helped me understand even more how I didn't cause it , can't control it and can't cure it NOT alanon lit. but so very helpful. Was just rereading book and felt it might help some others. Love to all Glad	glad	2	537	Jan 24, 2009 by nmike
	Resentment at meeting faciliatator (Preview) Went to Celebrate Recovery last night and small group on Codependency 12 steps. A couple of weeks ago I got the book and the co facilitator told me I didn't have to pay then that I could pay in a couple of weeks or never. Anyway, last night I went to the group and the facilitator noting I had a book asked if I...	Codependent	3	617	Jan 24, 2009 by maresie
	Need a prayer (Preview) Today, I need a prayer, encouragement and your experience, strength and hope.My son is being a jerk, he is 13. He is not keeping up with his school work. He is very smart and always has been on the honor roll, not this year. He has made two c's on report card, this last report card one C in science. He does not...	Robinks	5	466	Jan 24, 2009 by bcanuck
	Walking away from program......... (Preview) I am sooooo angry right now at pretty much everything that I swear I could explode. After 2 months more, post breakup, of leading me on to believe we were on the verge of reconciling sober and IN PROGRAM 10 yrs EXABF pulls another 180 and says he was thinking that we were working toward a reconciliat...	shellyj123	11	895	Jan 24, 2009 by glad
	musings on lighter not empty (Preview) I've been housebound for a few weeks due to temporary medical issures and inside my head at times too much. It's an art when you are isolated to set things aside and rest from it all with a movie or fiction book. Phone visits sure help to remind me to take a break but yet I am grateful for the intense rush of...	ddub	3	566	Jan 24, 2009 by ddub
	Thank you (Preview) I wanted to take a minute and Thank everyone who responded to my post yesterday....Sometimes, like yesterday, I forget that I am sick to......just as much if not more than the former alcoholic in my life, and again will continue to pick and choose the same type of men in my life as long as I am. Until I fi...	shellyj123	3	451	Jan 23, 2009 by RLC
	As We Understood... (Preview) Mahalo Thinkstoomuch!! As We Understood...is one of our pieces of CAL (Conference Approved Literature) that's been around since 1984 or so. It is great and I just picked it up again from our personal CAL library. Its a small sized (ODAT sized) reader of members reflections from all over the world. ...	Jerry F	1	585	Jan 23, 2009 by SLS
	I'm so glad I have kept my mouth shut! (Preview) Sometimes it is so hard not to make a comment when I see him downing another beer. Or when I think he's been out to score some drugs. I've stopped myself, gotten out of the situation. And let things cool down a bit. I know he wants to quite, but I was probably just like everyone else in his life when I would ge...	angelchar375	5	622	Jan 23, 2009 by angelchar375
	making plans (Preview) I am trying to make plans for the new year in the midst of a recession. I am currently unemployed which is good and bad in some ways. In looking back at the last year I think I have still been on the holding on by my finger tips stuff. What happens for me is that I get stuck on survival and then don't do any of t...	maresie	3	639	Jan 23, 2009 by barisax
	Feelings (Preview) Good Morning to all My question is how do you get past the ups and downs in your life. I know all about reading and praying to my God but I always seem to get into a slump just when I know he is drinking or gambling. Yesterday, I was at work until after 7 and missed my f to f meeting again. Its been about 3 mont...	weggie	5	545	Jan 23, 2009 by maresie
	I filed a police report today (Preview) As I said in my last post went to the A's mother's house last night and the A was there. Had 300 in my wallet. Left my purse in car and thought I locked it. Apparently not. This morning when I went to deposit in bank realized that I only had 140.00. Someone had taken 160.00 out hmmm... He was outside on...	Codependent	5	542	Jan 22, 2009 by carolinagirl
	it's a long road.... (Preview) Hi Friends, I've had a rough couple of weeks (join the crowd!) and last week I felt as if al-anon had done nothing for me. I cried, I raged, I feared.... this journey just seems too long at times. It has been two years since our dysfunction came out in the open. Two years since my ah's affair began. Almost tw...	Loupiness	10	668	Jan 22, 2009 by ddub
	Need advice (Preview) On my post on tuesday I told how i went to buy shoes for my daughter with my AH, and how he told me that we copuld work things through but that I had to change some attitudes and that he was still going to drink and maybe do coke once in a while and I shouldn't say anything cause, he was going to do it only once in a...	Priscilla83	3	468	Jan 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	need help re adult son (Preview) -- Edited by anneh at 18:58, 2009-01-21	anneh	7	628	Jan 22, 2009 by Mobirdie
	relationship w. sober bf (Preview) Seems like I will never get what I wish/need/want out of this relationship. For some reason, since today, I am looking at things with my eyes more open now and I realized a few things. No matter if I express how I feel or wait and see what happens and not react, it remains the same. Yes, I feel more wanted for...	buick23	4	527	Jan 22, 2009 by maresie
	Explaining Further (Preview) I wrote the post, "Have you ever done this?" Since my son is in a treatment program during the week and drinking dangerously on the weekends, I am thinking IF I report his alcohol poisoning, it should be to his caseworker at the program. They are the ones who are trying to help him and they need...	Trinia2	4	522	Jan 22, 2009 by maresie
	How to deal with resentment? (Preview) One of the things I hate the most about the situation with my AH is that I never get to tell him how I feel. I HATE that! Honestly, I always fantasize about the day my AH goes to rehab and during confrontation I get to tell him everything he did to me and how he made me feel. I know that shouldn't matter to me, but...	Priscilla83	7	897	Jan 22, 2009 by glad lee
	Have You Ever Done This? (Preview) My 21 year old son is in a whole lot of trouble with the courts. He is on daily probation and has to attend a lengthy out-patient drug and alcohol program.He is complying during the week, but not on weekends with alcohol. He was rushed this Sat. by ambulance to the hospital with alcohol poisoning, He had b...	Trinia2	8	604	Jan 22, 2009 by Karilynn
	So sad...I detached...and my A has found a new enabler. (Preview) Today was awful. Two years ago...I detached from my A-bf of 7 years. At first I tried it mentally...but that didn't work. So we separated...and eventually I had to detach physically. It seemed to be the only thing that made him feel pain. Then I heard he was seeing someone new...a bar friend..yet stil...	newday	8	529	Jan 22, 2009 by newday
	Heeeeelp!!! (Preview) I moved out of my A husbands house a week ago. Yesterday we went out to buy our daughter new shoes, and he started drinking. He started to tell me that we could work it out but I had to change and learn how to handle him. That I had to learn how to keep him clam and in the house, and that he couldn't believe that af...	Priscilla83	7	596	Jan 21, 2009 by missing out
	how long til things change (Preview) Hi all I am back have not been on in three weeks. My AH came over yesterday and we got in a disargeement. He dose not understand that I can not get over the fact that he has a gender issue and I do want to live with someone that thinks he is samething that he is not. I want a man in my live and not a man that wants t...	smileycat	8	628	Jan 21, 2009 by barisax
	detox as a career? (Preview) Hi...I graduated from LPN school! How- I really wonder w/ all the hell I have allowed myself to go thru this last year, but regardless, I did. Question. I have an interview to work at the methadone clinic here in town, I find this to be very compelling and something I may be interested in doing. However,...	soconfused	3	374	Jan 21, 2009 by Tiger2006
	Christy aka Cjo's Birthday (Preview) Woo hoo!! Today is Christy's Birthday. She's all of 29 years old today and it is fitting that her birthday is during the winter season as she is our snow bunny always sharing pictures of her neck of the woods and hubby's too. Thank you Christy for being here for all of us, for sharing your experience, s...	Maria123	7	642	Jan 21, 2009 by tea2
	Saw him tonight (Preview) Went to my son's grandmother's tonight for dinner. It is a Tues night ritual, though I skipped last week due to the A being there. Anyway, he was there tonight. He made chili. We had friendly conversation. I was a little nervous around him, but not too bad, kept reminding myself to let go- let go of h...	Codependent	1	363	Jan 21, 2009 by maresie
	Experience Strength Hope... and being a Witness (Preview) We hear those three words all the time... they appear in our Al-Anon readings at the beginning of F2F meetings. We don't give advice, we simply share our experience, strength, and hope. I am usually pretty good at #1. I don't mind talking about my experience, although in many cases, it doesn't seem...	barisax	3	661	Jan 21, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	To believe or disbelieve (Preview) Hello all, Its been a while since Ive posted, though I do read all your posts daily. In my last post, I mentioned the drug antabuse, which my boyfriend was prescribed a month ago. He claims he is taking it daily, though since I gave up being his watchdog, I cant be totally sure of this. He is attending me...	liljeannie	8	574	Jan 21, 2009 by barisax
	Change (Preview) One of the huge issues for me in recovery is self reliance. I was incredibly dependent on the A on many many levels. This weekend I had an outing with a friend of mine arranged. I had looked forward to it. The friend did not show up. I went anyway. I had no resentment just went on my way. I know for sure...	maresie	4	406	Jan 21, 2009 by maresie
	And the saga continues.........Walking away a winner?????? (Preview) EXABF emailed last night to tell me he hasn't been in touch because he has been inside his head again-thinking about us and how he knows he is not ready to move ahead with us right now. He mentioned how we discussed dating other people, but feels he would hurt me if he did, but he is hurting too. Feels like h...	shellyj123	7	521	Jan 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Finally left my ABF, but feeling empty and isolated (Preview) hi everyone. i'm new here, please bear with me. after a 2 year dysfunctional relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend, i finally moved out. i've never moved out of somewhere so fast in my life. my ABF was of course intriguing and adventurous at first, then i started to realize he had a problem. he al...	ellens93	5	577	Jan 20, 2009 by ellens93
	Step 3 Bolt of Lightening (Preview) I cannot belive how this program is changing my perception. Here's the deal, was studying about step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a HP". I was really having a hard time accepting that. At first glance it seemed to fly in the face over everything I had been...	luvinmom	5	444	Jan 20, 2009 by missing out
	4th Step Question (Preview) Thanks for all the responses and support. I am currently in the middle of taking inventory, so i feel really vulnerable and highly sensitive. I obviously have many resentments. I feel tense, with an occasional lump in my throat and a big ball of pain in my gut. I am having trouble staying focused on anyt...	Ash	6	2845	Jan 20, 2009 by barisax
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.