Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I got to thinking today and thought maybe it was just easier for me to think that he was a manipulative, game playing lier than an alcoholic. I never knew him when he was drinking so have little to go on there, but it just seems to me that so much of his behavior and thought processes were all over and irrat...

Rora · Rora

My aH from whom I am separated made plans with me to pick up our son at 6am today.(They have to be 2 hrs away at 8am). It's chatted up over the weekend, "...going on a big long drive, need to get up nice and early...etc" So, son and I get up at 5:15am. (Normally, we'd get up around 6:15am) Son is up a...

Codependent · Codependent

I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time. All women. It was great as they were so nice to me and basically made the meeting about me. Told the truth about my ambivalence in defining myself as an alcoholic. I'll def be going back.

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post. I'm really trying to stay strong and focus f on myself....I really am. Just when I think I'm doing good I relapse. My AH is still drinking on and off. If he goes thru stages and when he is not drinking is when I relapse. And then it's even harder to get back...

Canary · Canary

As you all know, if you have read my posts and remember me, I removed my aH from the home 28 days ago after coming home drunk. In short, he was sober for 8 years, started drinking (binge drinker), went to rehab and was sober for another 5 months. After enduring a year of chaos, insanity, fear and panic, I tol...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, Wanted to reach out and share a bit on what's going on for me in recovery. Sometimes I feel that my progress is oh so slow and I wonder if I will ever achieve the astounding progress that I've witnessed on this board and in my home group. I can remember saying that I was faking it till I make...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Hey all, I just posted the following message on the teen board.... Hey all! Meeting at 8pm EST! I'm gonna do my best to be there and if not then someone else may be there in my place you're not alone! LanchasSo I hope someone will be there if I can't. Lanchas

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

My best friend (and principal "qualifier") is sober but has dropped out of recovery (though he wouldn't put it that way) and for the last 4 or so years has been more and more self destructive. I've been in Al-anon a year. After yet another disasterous holiday season, I decided things...

missing out · missing out

I know that by now, I should be use to my Abrothers way of life, but when he does some of things that affect his children and their happiness, I would like to just bust him...His children are always asking when they can stay so I talked them a week ago, told them to go home and ask their parents if they could st...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

I cant stop crying. I dont understand why this hurts so much. Mark (the A in my life) has left me. Two days before my University interview thank you very much mark. I should be happy he has gone after everything thats happend I shoud be glad. Am I normal to be unset he has gone. This has eally messed with my he...

Codependent · Codependent

I was researching meeting times for Alanon in my area and one of them said Fellowship AFG. What does AFG mean? Also, one said beginner's. Is that the one I should attend.

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Please bear with a moment. This isn't a political statement. But I can't let the moment go by with making note of the historical significance of this day. In my lifetime, I really never thought I would see this day. I am awed by the historical significance of the moment. A new pres...

Heather72 · Heather72

I never thought I would be faced with such a troublesome situation within my own family. My daughter, who will be 4 this Sunday, has been struggling not seeing her dad. My divorced was final from him back in May of last year. I was award sole custody and he was granted supervised visitation. I particip...

tay · tay

I'll help to yall

joyoma · joyoma

For the past several weeks, my grandson (3 1/2) has begun to speak about his mother's boyfriend. My son and his EX have been divorced since the child was 9 months old. Son does have alcohol issues, attends AA sporadically, but still cannot label him an alcoholic since he is sober way more than he drink...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) Is ther no easy way?? I woke up this morning and feel I cant do this, I want to call my bf and say come back I didnt mean it, come home and stay. All his clothes are here I miss him so much. Why didnt I tel him how much I wanted him, why didnt I make him stay with me. I know I done the right thing but it...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I spoke to EXABF awhile back about perhaps starting to attend AA meetings with him, if we ever chose to get back together, my goal being to learn more about the disease of alcoholism itself and the ways that it affects a person, sober or drinking. I am betting that sober A's such as my ex, also still ca...

glad · glad

When I read Emotional Unavailablilty by Bryn C. Collins- it helped me understand even more how I didn't cause it , can't control it and can't cure it NOT alanon lit. but so very helpful. Was just rereading book and felt it might help some others. Love to all Glad

Codependent · Codependent

Went to Celebrate Recovery last night and small group on Codependency 12 steps. A couple of weeks ago I got the book and the co facilitator told me I didn't have to pay then that I could pay in a couple of weeks or never. Anyway, last night I went to the group and the facilitator noting I had a book asked if I...

Robinks · Robinks

Today, I need a prayer, encouragement and your experience, strength and hope.My son is being a jerk, he is 13. He is not keeping up with his school work. He is very smart and always has been on the honor roll, not this year. He has made two c's on report card, this last report card one C in science. He does not...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am sooooo angry right now at pretty much everything that I swear I could explode. After 2 months more, post breakup, of leading me on to believe we were on the verge of reconciling sober and IN PROGRAM 10 yrs EXABF pulls another 180 and says he was thinking that we were working toward a reconciliat...

ddub · ddub

I've been housebound for a few weeks due to temporary medical issures and inside my head at times too much. It's an art when you are isolated to set things aside and rest from it all with a movie or fiction book. Phone visits sure help to remind me to take a break but yet I am grateful for the intense rush of...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to take a minute and Thank everyone who responded to my post yesterday....Sometimes, like yesterday, I forget that I am sick to......just as much if not more than the former alcoholic in my life, and again will continue to pick and choose the same type of men in my life as long as I am. Until I fi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mahalo Thinkstoomuch!! As We Understood...is one of our pieces of CAL (Conference Approved Literature) that's been around since 1984 or so. It is great and I just picked it up again from our personal CAL library. Its a small sized (ODAT sized) reader of members reflections from all over the world. ...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

Sometimes it is so hard not to make a comment when I see him downing another beer. Or when I think he's been out to score some drugs. I've stopped myself, gotten out of the situation. And let things cool down a bit. I know he wants to quite, but I was probably just like everyone else in his life when I would ge...

maresie · maresie

I am trying to make plans for the new year in the midst of a recession. I am currently unemployed which is good and bad in some ways. In looking back at the last year I think I have still been on the holding on by my finger tips stuff. What happens for me is that I get stuck on survival and then don't do any of t...

weggie · weggie

Good Morning to all My question is how do you get past the ups and downs in your life. I know all about reading and praying to my God but I always seem to get into a slump just when I know he is drinking or gambling. Yesterday, I was at work until after 7 and missed my f to f meeting again. Its been about 3 mont...

Codependent · Codependent

As I said in my last post went to the A's mother's house last night and the A was there. Had 300 in my wallet. Left my purse in car and thought I locked it. Apparently not. This morning when I went to deposit in bank realized that I only had 140.00. Someone had taken 160.00 out hmmm... He was outside on...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I've had a rough couple of weeks (join the crowd!) and last week I felt as if al-anon had done nothing for me. I cried, I raged, I feared.... this journey just seems too long at times. It has been two years since our dysfunction came out in the open. Two years since my ah's affair began. Almost tw...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

On my post on tuesday I told how i went to buy shoes for my daughter with my AH, and how he told me that we copuld work things through but that I had to change some attitudes and that he was still going to drink and maybe do coke once in a while and I shouldn't say anything cause, he was going to do it only once in a...

anneh · anneh

-- Edited by anneh at 18:58, 2009-01-21

buick23 · buick23

Seems like I will never get what I wish/need/want out of this relationship. For some reason, since today, I am looking at things with my eyes more open now and I realized a few things. No matter if I express how I feel or wait and see what happens and not react, it remains the same. Yes, I feel more wanted for...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

I wrote the post, "Have you ever done this?" Since my son is in a treatment program during the week and drinking dangerously on the weekends, I am thinking IF I report his alcohol poisoning, it should be to his caseworker at the program. They are the ones who are trying to help him and they need...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

One of the things I hate the most about the situation with my AH is that I never get to tell him how I feel. I HATE that! Honestly, I always fantasize about the day my AH goes to rehab and during confrontation I get to tell him everything he did to me and how he made me feel. I know that shouldn't matter to me, but...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My 21 year old son is in a whole lot of trouble with the courts. He is on daily probation and has to attend a lengthy out-patient drug and alcohol program.He is complying during the week, but not on weekends with alcohol. He was rushed this Sat. by ambulance to the hospital with alcohol poisoning, He had b...

newday · newday

Today was awful. Two years ago...I detached from my A-bf of 7 years. At first I tried it mentally...but that didn't work. So we separated...and eventually I had to detach physically. It seemed to be the only thing that made him feel pain. Then I heard he was seeing someone new...a bar friend..yet stil...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I moved out of my A husbands house a week ago. Yesterday we went out to buy our daughter new shoes, and he started drinking. He started to tell me that we could work it out but I had to change and learn how to handle him. That I had to learn how to keep him clam and in the house, and that he couldn't believe that af...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I am back have not been on in three weeks. My AH came over yesterday and we got in a disargeement. He dose not understand that I can not get over the fact that he has a gender issue and I do want to live with someone that thinks he is samething that he is not. I want a man in my live and not a man that wants t...

soconfused · soconfused

Hi...I graduated from LPN school! How- I really wonder w/ all the hell I have allowed myself to go thru this last year, but regardless, I did. Question. I have an interview to work at the methadone clinic here in town, I find this to be very compelling and something I may be interested in doing. However,...

Maria123 · Maria123

Woo hoo!! Today is Christy's Birthday. She's all of 29 years old today and it is fitting that her birthday is during the winter season as she is our snow bunny always sharing pictures of her neck of the woods and hubby's too. Thank you Christy for being here for all of us, for sharing your experience, s...

Codependent · Codependent

Went to my son's grandmother's tonight for dinner. It is a Tues night ritual, though I skipped last week due to the A being there. Anyway, he was there tonight. He made chili. We had friendly conversation. I was a little nervous around him, but not too bad, kept reminding myself to let go- let go of h...

barisax · barisax

We hear those three words all the time... they appear in our Al-Anon readings at the beginning of F2F meetings. We don't give advice, we simply share our experience, strength, and hope. I am usually pretty good at #1. I don't mind talking about my experience, although in many cases, it doesn't seem...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Its been a while since Ive posted, though I do read all your posts daily. In my last post, I mentioned the drug antabuse, which my boyfriend was prescribed a month ago. He claims he is taking it daily, though since I gave up being his watchdog, I cant be totally sure of this. He is attending me...

maresie · maresie

One of the huge issues for me in recovery is self reliance. I was incredibly dependent on the A on many many levels. This weekend I had an outing with a friend of mine arranged. I had looked forward to it. The friend did not show up. I went anyway. I had no resentment just went on my way. I know for sure...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

EXABF emailed last night to tell me he hasn't been in touch because he has been inside his head again-thinking about us and how he knows he is not ready to move ahead with us right now. He mentioned how we discussed dating other people, but feels he would hurt me if he did, but he is hurting too. Feels like h...

ellens93 · ellens93

hi everyone. i'm new here, please bear with me. after a 2 year dysfunctional relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend, i finally moved out. i've never moved out of somewhere so fast in my life. my ABF was of course intriguing and adventurous at first, then i started to realize he had a problem. he al...

luvinmom · luvinmom

I cannot belive how this program is changing my perception. Here's the deal, was studying about step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a HP". I was really having a hard time accepting that. At first glance it seemed to fly in the face over everything I had been...

Ash · Ash

Thanks for all the responses and support. I am currently in the middle of taking inventory, so i feel really vulnerable and highly sensitive. I obviously have many resentments. I feel tense, with an occasional lump in my throat and a big ball of pain in my gut. I am having trouble staying focused on anyt...

sadako · sadako

(i chose the "heart" icon for this topic because i re-read my title and realized i'm loving myself *boggle*) i titled this "futureS" because it seems like so many paths are open before me at the moment, and anything could happen. *i'm preparing to tell my A boyfriend to leave, pe...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

We are in the middle of a snowstorm and I just got a call from my AS that he was at the hospital and they were about to call police if I didn't pick him up. He was found unconscious in a hotel last night and management sent him to the hospital by ambulance. He had alcohol poisoning and they gave him charcoal. Th...

kbrixham · kbrixham

Good Morning, I am wondering if someone might be available to discuss with me steps 4 and 5. I am in limbo for a sponsor...we have moved and am still searching for someone. In the meantime I just wanted to get some insight and suggestions from someone that has done this. I have done it however not comple...

Chetch · Chetch

Hi All, I haven't been on in a while, as things were better for a while. My AH has begun to drink VERY Heavily again. He's now buying Vodka by the case now and keeps it in the trunk of his car (which is in my name) and the key in his pocket, as he is afraid I will dump his booze down the sink. The last couple of wee...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...how many times can a person be beaten up, left without any sort of dignity, painfully drag oneself back to the safety of their own personal hiding place without sustaining permanent damage? Sometimes it takes all my strength to sort believing in myself after one of these episodes, and quite hones...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Spoke with ExABF last night again. Since we spilt up, well since the beginning of the year, he usually calls every night. We laugh and joke now and for the most part there is a pleasant calmness that is with us as I work my program and see the light more and more. However he says things sometimes that real...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

What serenity means to me...it means I'm in a state of mind that allows me to be free of the hurt, anger and resentments that could so easily comsume my every moment. I have one very bad habit that lerks daily to steal that peace of mind. I have a tendancy to resight back over and over in my head my disappoi...

Robinks · Robinks

thanks again for talking to me, I feel much better !!!!

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Starting to feel-today-like I need to learn how to and put into practice, setting boundaries in my life from work to personal.....but not really sure how or where to begin. After years of being a doormat and saying Yes when I really wanted to say No, I'm not sure how one begins this process, the most e...

atwitsend · atwitsend

Hi, I am currently trying to get up enough nerve to attend my first Alanon meeting. I think the hardest thing is the realization that nothing has changed or will change in my life with my AH unless I take the first step. Please tell me again all the benefits of Alanon. I need a push to actually take the fi...

debilyn · debilyn

I have moved into my main house. Money is squeaky, i s all in hp hands sorry gloves on have not moved computer over yet. cold in here. soooo nice in my house. so blessed. got a beautiful leather couch from a nice family who had to sell or give away their passed on family member. You want to just go to sleep. I...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just a gentle reminder about the freezing cold weather. Here in the northeast we are at a balmy -3 degrees below zero. That is the predicted high for today. Please check on your neighbors that are elderly or might be sick. If you are having problems with your heating, please don...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Been thinking about EABF, what part is alcholism and what part is really him?? (Preview) I got to thinking today and thought maybe it was just easier for me to think that he was a manipulative, game playing lier than an alcoholic. I never knew him when he was drinking so have little to go on there, but it just seems to me that so much of his behavior and thought processes were all over and irrat...	shellyj123	2	1246	Jan 26, 2009 by luna starla
	Making progress?? (Preview) My aH from whom I am separated made plans with me to pick up our son at 6am today.(They have to be 2 hrs away at 8am). It's chatted up over the weekend, "...going on a big long drive, need to get up nice and early...etc" So, son and I get up at 5:15am. (Normally, we'd get up around 6:15am) Son is up a...	Rora	3	512	Jan 26, 2009 by Rocky38
	Went to AA meeting (Preview) I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time. All women. It was great as they were so nice to me and basically made the meeting about me. Told the truth about my ambivalence in defining myself as an alcoholic. I'll def be going back.	Codependent	5	933	Jan 26, 2009 by Codependent
	so confused (Preview) Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post. I'm really trying to stay strong and focus f on myself....I really am. Just when I think I'm doing good I relapse. My AH is still drinking on and off. If he goes thru stages and when he is not drinking is when I relapse. And then it's even harder to get back...	sgraingermk	8	662	Jan 26, 2009 by Ickle Lynnie
	Removed him from the house and he is talking about "US" going to Disney in November. Huh?? (Preview) As you all know, if you have read my posts and remember me, I removed my aH from the home 28 days ago after coming home drunk. In short, he was sober for 8 years, started drinking (binge drinker), went to rehab and was sober for another 5 months. After enduring a year of chaos, insanity, fear and panic, I tol...	Canary	10	577	Jan 26, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Rocky's on a Pink Cloud? (Preview) Hi MIP family, Wanted to reach out and share a bit on what's going on for me in recovery. Sometimes I feel that my progress is oh so slow and I wonder if I will ever achieve the astounding progress that I've witnessed on this board and in my home group. I can remember saying that I was faking it till I make...	Rocky38	7	946	Jan 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	teen meeting help needed please! (Preview) Hey all, I just posted the following message on the teen board.... Hey all! Meeting at 8pm EST! I'm gonna do my best to be there and if not then someone else may be there in my place you're not alone! LanchasSo I hope someone will be there if I can't. Lanchas	Lanchas	3	304	Jan 26, 2009 by Lanchas
	Ego? Or not accepting unacceptable behavior? (Preview) My best friend (and principal "qualifier") is sober but has dropped out of recovery (though he wouldn't put it that way) and for the last 4 or so years has been more and more self destructive. I've been in Al-anon a year. After yet another disasterous holiday season, I decided things...	gngcrzy	6	2364	Jan 26, 2009 by Jean4444
	My A Brother at it again... aaauuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I know that by now, I should be use to my Abrothers way of life, but when he does some of things that affect his children and their happiness, I would like to just bust him...His children are always asking when they can stay so I talked them a week ago, told them to go home and ask their parents if they could st...	missing out	2	369	Jan 25, 2009 by nmike
	Distraught (Preview) I cant stop crying. I dont understand why this hurts so much. Mark (the A in my life) has left me. Two days before my University interview thank you very much mark. I should be happy he has gone after everything thats happend I shoud be glad. Am I normal to be unset he has gone. This has eally messed with my he...	mum2leahnjosh	7	536	Jan 25, 2009 by nmike
	Meeting Acronymns (Preview) I was researching meeting times for Alanon in my area and one of them said Fellowship AFG. What does AFG mean? Also, one said beginner's. Is that the one I should attend.	Codependent	3	7042	Jan 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	Innauguration Day. (Preview) ((((Family)))), Please bear with a moment. This isn't a political statement. But I can't let the moment go by with making note of the historical significance of this day. In my lifetime, I really never thought I would see this day. I am awed by the historical significance of the moment. A new pres...	Karilynn	9	850	Jan 25, 2009 by John
	Post Divorce with an apparent dead beat ex AH-- my daughter is suffering (Preview) I never thought I would be faced with such a troublesome situation within my own family. My daughter, who will be 4 this Sunday, has been struggling not seeing her dad. My divorced was final from him back in May of last year. I was award sole custody and he was granted supervised visitation. I particip...	Heather72	5	521	Jan 25, 2009 by Heather72
	yo i'll help 2 i'll help me 2 (Preview) I'll help to yall	tay	1	396	Jan 25, 2009 by debilyn
	Help me to accept this! (Preview) For the past several weeks, my grandson (3 1/2) has begun to speak about his mother's boyfriend. My son and his EX have been divorced since the child was 9 months old. Son does have alcohol issues, attends AA sporadically, but still cannot label him an alcoholic since he is sober way more than he drink...	joyoma	14	769	Jan 25, 2009 by joyoma
	Trying really hard to detach (Preview) Dear (((All))) Is ther no easy way?? I woke up this morning and feel I cant do this, I want to call my bf and say come back I didnt mean it, come home and stay. All his clothes are here I miss him so much. Why didnt I tel him how much I wanted him, why didnt I make him stay with me. I know I done the right thing but it...	Mariner	4	483	Jan 25, 2009 by Canary
	Am I being Naive??? Looking for a book..........any input would be great! (Preview) I spoke to EXABF awhile back about perhaps starting to attend AA meetings with him, if we ever chose to get back together, my goal being to learn more about the disease of alcoholism itself and the ways that it affects a person, sober or drinking. I am betting that sober A's such as my ex, also still ca...	shellyj123	6	631	Jan 24, 2009 by Canary
	so they hurt us again and again, and seem to think we deserve it? (Preview) When I read Emotional Unavailablilty by Bryn C. Collins- it helped me understand even more how I didn't cause it , can't control it and can't cure it NOT alanon lit. but so very helpful. Was just rereading book and felt it might help some others. Love to all Glad	glad	2	532	Jan 24, 2009 by nmike
	Resentment at meeting faciliatator (Preview) Went to Celebrate Recovery last night and small group on Codependency 12 steps. A couple of weeks ago I got the book and the co facilitator told me I didn't have to pay then that I could pay in a couple of weeks or never. Anyway, last night I went to the group and the facilitator noting I had a book asked if I...	Codependent	3	612	Jan 24, 2009 by maresie
	Need a prayer (Preview) Today, I need a prayer, encouragement and your experience, strength and hope.My son is being a jerk, he is 13. He is not keeping up with his school work. He is very smart and always has been on the honor roll, not this year. He has made two c's on report card, this last report card one C in science. He does not...	Robinks	5	459	Jan 24, 2009 by bcanuck
	Walking away from program......... (Preview) I am sooooo angry right now at pretty much everything that I swear I could explode. After 2 months more, post breakup, of leading me on to believe we were on the verge of reconciling sober and IN PROGRAM 10 yrs EXABF pulls another 180 and says he was thinking that we were working toward a reconciliat...	shellyj123	11	886	Jan 24, 2009 by glad
	musings on lighter not empty (Preview) I've been housebound for a few weeks due to temporary medical issures and inside my head at times too much. It's an art when you are isolated to set things aside and rest from it all with a movie or fiction book. Phone visits sure help to remind me to take a break but yet I am grateful for the intense rush of...	ddub	3	556	Jan 24, 2009 by ddub
	Thank you (Preview) I wanted to take a minute and Thank everyone who responded to my post yesterday....Sometimes, like yesterday, I forget that I am sick to......just as much if not more than the former alcoholic in my life, and again will continue to pick and choose the same type of men in my life as long as I am. Until I fi...	shellyj123	3	443	Jan 23, 2009 by RLC
	As We Understood... (Preview) Mahalo Thinkstoomuch!! As We Understood...is one of our pieces of CAL (Conference Approved Literature) that's been around since 1984 or so. It is great and I just picked it up again from our personal CAL library. Its a small sized (ODAT sized) reader of members reflections from all over the world. ...	Jerry F	1	578	Jan 23, 2009 by SLS
	I'm so glad I have kept my mouth shut! (Preview) Sometimes it is so hard not to make a comment when I see him downing another beer. Or when I think he's been out to score some drugs. I've stopped myself, gotten out of the situation. And let things cool down a bit. I know he wants to quite, but I was probably just like everyone else in his life when I would ge...	angelchar375	5	614	Jan 23, 2009 by angelchar375
	making plans (Preview) I am trying to make plans for the new year in the midst of a recession. I am currently unemployed which is good and bad in some ways. In looking back at the last year I think I have still been on the holding on by my finger tips stuff. What happens for me is that I get stuck on survival and then don't do any of t...	maresie	3	628	Jan 23, 2009 by barisax
	Feelings (Preview) Good Morning to all My question is how do you get past the ups and downs in your life. I know all about reading and praying to my God but I always seem to get into a slump just when I know he is drinking or gambling. Yesterday, I was at work until after 7 and missed my f to f meeting again. Its been about 3 mont...	weggie	5	536	Jan 23, 2009 by maresie
	I filed a police report today (Preview) As I said in my last post went to the A's mother's house last night and the A was there. Had 300 in my wallet. Left my purse in car and thought I locked it. Apparently not. This morning when I went to deposit in bank realized that I only had 140.00. Someone had taken 160.00 out hmmm... He was outside on...	Codependent	5	533	Jan 22, 2009 by carolinagirl
	it's a long road.... (Preview) Hi Friends, I've had a rough couple of weeks (join the crowd!) and last week I felt as if al-anon had done nothing for me. I cried, I raged, I feared.... this journey just seems too long at times. It has been two years since our dysfunction came out in the open. Two years since my ah's affair began. Almost tw...	Loupiness	10	662	Jan 22, 2009 by ddub
	Need advice (Preview) On my post on tuesday I told how i went to buy shoes for my daughter with my AH, and how he told me that we copuld work things through but that I had to change some attitudes and that he was still going to drink and maybe do coke once in a while and I shouldn't say anything cause, he was going to do it only once in a...	Priscilla83	3	460	Jan 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	need help re adult son (Preview) -- Edited by anneh at 18:58, 2009-01-21	anneh	7	618	Jan 22, 2009 by Mobirdie
	relationship w. sober bf (Preview) Seems like I will never get what I wish/need/want out of this relationship. For some reason, since today, I am looking at things with my eyes more open now and I realized a few things. No matter if I express how I feel or wait and see what happens and not react, it remains the same. Yes, I feel more wanted for...	buick23	4	519	Jan 22, 2009 by maresie
	Explaining Further (Preview) I wrote the post, "Have you ever done this?" Since my son is in a treatment program during the week and drinking dangerously on the weekends, I am thinking IF I report his alcohol poisoning, it should be to his caseworker at the program. They are the ones who are trying to help him and they need...	Trinia2	4	513	Jan 22, 2009 by maresie
	How to deal with resentment? (Preview) One of the things I hate the most about the situation with my AH is that I never get to tell him how I feel. I HATE that! Honestly, I always fantasize about the day my AH goes to rehab and during confrontation I get to tell him everything he did to me and how he made me feel. I know that shouldn't matter to me, but...	Priscilla83	7	874	Jan 22, 2009 by glad lee
	Have You Ever Done This? (Preview) My 21 year old son is in a whole lot of trouble with the courts. He is on daily probation and has to attend a lengthy out-patient drug and alcohol program.He is complying during the week, but not on weekends with alcohol. He was rushed this Sat. by ambulance to the hospital with alcohol poisoning, He had b...	Trinia2	8	594	Jan 22, 2009 by Karilynn
	So sad...I detached...and my A has found a new enabler. (Preview) Today was awful. Two years ago...I detached from my A-bf of 7 years. At first I tried it mentally...but that didn't work. So we separated...and eventually I had to detach physically. It seemed to be the only thing that made him feel pain. Then I heard he was seeing someone new...a bar friend..yet stil...	newday	8	524	Jan 22, 2009 by newday
	Heeeeelp!!! (Preview) I moved out of my A husbands house a week ago. Yesterday we went out to buy our daughter new shoes, and he started drinking. He started to tell me that we could work it out but I had to change and learn how to handle him. That I had to learn how to keep him clam and in the house, and that he couldn't believe that af...	Priscilla83	7	586	Jan 21, 2009 by missing out
	how long til things change (Preview) Hi all I am back have not been on in three weeks. My AH came over yesterday and we got in a disargeement. He dose not understand that I can not get over the fact that he has a gender issue and I do want to live with someone that thinks he is samething that he is not. I want a man in my live and not a man that wants t...	smileycat	8	619	Jan 21, 2009 by barisax
	detox as a career? (Preview) Hi...I graduated from LPN school! How- I really wonder w/ all the hell I have allowed myself to go thru this last year, but regardless, I did. Question. I have an interview to work at the methadone clinic here in town, I find this to be very compelling and something I may be interested in doing. However,...	soconfused	3	366	Jan 21, 2009 by Tiger2006
	Christy aka Cjo's Birthday (Preview) Woo hoo!! Today is Christy's Birthday. She's all of 29 years old today and it is fitting that her birthday is during the winter season as she is our snow bunny always sharing pictures of her neck of the woods and hubby's too. Thank you Christy for being here for all of us, for sharing your experience, s...	Maria123	7	634	Jan 21, 2009 by tea2
	Saw him tonight (Preview) Went to my son's grandmother's tonight for dinner. It is a Tues night ritual, though I skipped last week due to the A being there. Anyway, he was there tonight. He made chili. We had friendly conversation. I was a little nervous around him, but not too bad, kept reminding myself to let go- let go of h...	Codependent	1	355	Jan 21, 2009 by maresie
	Experience Strength Hope... and being a Witness (Preview) We hear those three words all the time... they appear in our Al-Anon readings at the beginning of F2F meetings. We don't give advice, we simply share our experience, strength, and hope. I am usually pretty good at #1. I don't mind talking about my experience, although in many cases, it doesn't seem...	barisax	3	654	Jan 21, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	To believe or disbelieve (Preview) Hello all, Its been a while since Ive posted, though I do read all your posts daily. In my last post, I mentioned the drug antabuse, which my boyfriend was prescribed a month ago. He claims he is taking it daily, though since I gave up being his watchdog, I cant be totally sure of this. He is attending me...	liljeannie	8	562	Jan 21, 2009 by barisax
	Change (Preview) One of the huge issues for me in recovery is self reliance. I was incredibly dependent on the A on many many levels. This weekend I had an outing with a friend of mine arranged. I had looked forward to it. The friend did not show up. I went anyway. I had no resentment just went on my way. I know for sure...	maresie	4	401	Jan 21, 2009 by maresie
	And the saga continues.........Walking away a winner?????? (Preview) EXABF emailed last night to tell me he hasn't been in touch because he has been inside his head again-thinking about us and how he knows he is not ready to move ahead with us right now. He mentioned how we discussed dating other people, but feels he would hurt me if he did, but he is hurting too. Feels like h...	shellyj123	7	513	Jan 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Finally left my ABF, but feeling empty and isolated (Preview) hi everyone. i'm new here, please bear with me. after a 2 year dysfunctional relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend, i finally moved out. i've never moved out of somewhere so fast in my life. my ABF was of course intriguing and adventurous at first, then i started to realize he had a problem. he al...	ellens93	5	571	Jan 20, 2009 by ellens93
	Step 3 Bolt of Lightening (Preview) I cannot belive how this program is changing my perception. Here's the deal, was studying about step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a HP". I was really having a hard time accepting that. At first glance it seemed to fly in the face over everything I had been...	luvinmom	5	436	Jan 20, 2009 by missing out
	4th Step Question (Preview) Thanks for all the responses and support. I am currently in the middle of taking inventory, so i feel really vulnerable and highly sensitive. I obviously have many resentments. I feel tense, with an occasional lump in my throat and a big ball of pain in my gut. I am having trouble staying focused on anyt...	Ash	6	2837	Jan 20, 2009 by barisax
	telling him to leave (Preview) (i chose the "heart" icon for this topic because i re-read my title and realized i'm loving myself boggle) i titled this "futureS" because it seems like so many paths are open before me at the moment, and anything could happen. *i'm preparing to tell my A boyfriend to leave, pe...	sadako	6	569	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Must Stop Enabling (Preview) We are in the middle of a snowstorm and I just got a call from my AS that he was at the hospital and they were about to call police if I didn't pick him up. He was found unconscious in a hotel last night and management sent him to the hospital by ambulance. He had alcohol poisoning and they gave him charcoal. Th...	Trinia2	7	660	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Step 4 and Step 5 (Preview) Good Morning, I am wondering if someone might be available to discuss with me steps 4 and 5. I am in limbo for a sponsor...we have moved and am still searching for someone. In the meantime I just wanted to get some insight and suggestions from someone that has done this. I have done it however not comple...	kbrixham	2	474	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	I'm afraid my AH is drinking himself to death (Preview) Hi All, I haven't been on in a while, as things were better for a while. My AH has begun to drink VERY Heavily again. He's now buying Vodka by the case now and keeps it in the trunk of his car (which is in my name) and the key in his pocket, as he is afraid I will dump his booze down the sink. The last couple of wee...	Chetch	6	670	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Dragging myself to safety... (Preview) ...how many times can a person be beaten up, left without any sort of dignity, painfully drag oneself back to the safety of their own personal hiding place without sustaining permanent damage? Sometimes it takes all my strength to sort believing in myself after one of these episodes, and quite hones...	Suzannah	5	614	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Feeling that old numbness/anger taking over today~~~~vent (Preview) Spoke with ExABF last night again. Since we spilt up, well since the beginning of the year, he usually calls every night. We laugh and joke now and for the most part there is a pleasant calmness that is with us as I work my program and see the light more and more. However he says things sometimes that real...	shellyj123	5	478	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	What Serenity means to me, Fighting low self esteem, One Day At A Time. (Preview) What serenity means to me...it means I'm in a state of mind that allows me to be free of the hurt, anger and resentments that could so easily comsume my every moment. I have one very bad habit that lerks daily to steal that peace of mind. I have a tendancy to resight back over and over in my head my disappoi...	Peggy7	3	665	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Shadow (Preview) thanks again for talking to me, I feel much better !!!!	Robinks	2	413	Jan 20, 2009 by Robinks
	Tools/Tips for setting boundaries????? (Preview) Starting to feel-today-like I need to learn how to and put into practice, setting boundaries in my life from work to personal.....but not really sure how or where to begin. After years of being a doormat and saying Yes when I really wanted to say No, I'm not sure how one begins this process, the most e...	shellyj123	5	1998	Jan 19, 2009 by luvinmom
	Courage to attend first Alanon meeting (Preview) Hi, I am currently trying to get up enough nerve to attend my first Alanon meeting. I think the hardest thing is the realization that nothing has changed or will change in my life with my AH unless I take the first step. Please tell me again all the benefits of Alanon. I need a push to actually take the fi...	atwitsend	11	736	Jan 19, 2009 by Sis63
	I moved (Preview) I have moved into my main house. Money is squeaky, i s all in hp hands sorry gloves on have not moved computer over yet. cold in here. soooo nice in my house. so blessed. got a beautiful leather couch from a nice family who had to sell or give away their passed on family member. You want to just go to sleep. I...	debilyn	7	678	Jan 18, 2009 by nmike
	Cold weather reminder. (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just a gentle reminder about the freezing cold weather. Here in the northeast we are at a balmy -3 degrees below zero. That is the predicted high for today. Please check on your neighbors that are elderly or might be sick. If you are having problems with your heating, please don...	Karilynn	6	666	Jan 18, 2009 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.