Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

(((Family))),I wanted to share my ES&H. This fall I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that is chronic and progressive, manageable but not curable. Clearly, it has parallels to A-ism and my experience living with my disorder has given me immense compassion for and understanding of A-...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I failed to mention that my new boyfriend has an alcoholic father and this is the main reason that he has chosen to never drink. So I have been smoking lately and he'd like me to quit.... He made a few statements that really opened my eyes to what I did with the A. I hear it with new ears now of course and I kn...

maresie · maresie

One of my core issues is really not addressing my triggers. I do not do well on holidays or any significant dates My primary defects are that I tend to procrastinate doing something proactive or act in some other kind of self sabataging way about it. I know now there were lots of things I could have done...

newlife · newlife

Day 2 after my a is caught drinking while watching my 2 babies...He's sorry he screwed up my life, he doesn't know what's wrong with him, if i want him to go he'll leave, he will seek the help and go to meetings, he wants to continue watching the kids, he promises it will be different this time...blah, bla...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am today, still, struggling with letting go of anger and resentment towards EXABF. I know what he did was for the best for him, and even for me now, but I can't get past the anger right now. I still love him but can NOT imagine laying eyes on him at this point. Then I think about my program and...

Jehnifer · Jehnifer

my husband hasnt drank in 7 yrs but hes depressed "lost" "empty" and/or angry a lot of the time...and he turns it toward me. my sponsor says its not me its him and i need to go about living my life and finding happiness. but i feel so guilty and also angry that hes being this way. he...

Canary · Canary

My husband of 5 years, (been together for 13), has been out of the house for 27 days. He was sober for 8 years but started drinking December '07. Monthly....drink for days, out of the house. Would leave work, call me to tell me he was leaving to come home and would never show. Only to get a phone call hours la...

reef999 · reef999

Hi guys, So I moved out of my A BF apartment 2 weekends ago. I had nowhere to go and two cats but I couldn't stay and be treated the way I was being treated. He was in the middle of a 10 day binge and doesn't really remember anything he did or said...he just knows that it was pretty ugly. He says that it was hi b...

newlife · newlife

Hello, I'm new to this and so need an outlet other than family. I feel very stuck and sad. My husband hit rockbottom after my first child was born 31/2 years ago. He was removed from my home, went to rehab and seemed to be reborn. Everyone was so blown away by his 360. To good to true of course....i have a...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, tried dropping my child of at the A's mother's last night. But, she assured me the A wasn't there so I ended up staying for lasagna. Was getting ready to leave when in he walked- obviously messed up. My child ran to him Daddy Daddy, etc. He made a big deal about holding him, etc. I didn't even loo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just reading David's post and felt something inside what serendipity said about being afraid and never giving of yourself that much again. I was talking to my friend who lives on the other side of the US today, telling her about the new boyfriend and she said, be careful, just don't give him your w...

Robinks · Robinks

I had stepped away from the room but I did read your message, yes I like you, thank you for the encouraging words take care

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, So glad you are here. I have had trouble getting on the Internet. But it forces me to take care of me when there is no one to "talk" to. I am realizing some of my character defects. I won't commit, I hedge when asked a direct question, I don't communicate clearly. Not sure why. I am a...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi (((((((((((MIP family))))))))))), Yesterday was one year since my first "serious" post to this board. I had posted a few times three years ago, but it has been a year since I started working my program in earnest. I am very grateful for all the ESH you have all shared directly in repl...

Angela1975 · Angela1975

Hello everyone...my name is Angela and I am new to this group, or any group for that matter. I have been attending Al-Anon once a week in my town for about three months now and I have found what I've been needing for a long long time. I was not new to the program- I am an adult child of an alcoholic (my dad has...

glad · glad

Okay he says that one of the big problems of stopping drinking is that he can't sleep. so yesturday we went to the doctor and obtain some med that is supposed to help him sleep- trasadone and something called Naltrexone HCL supposed to decrease "cravings"- anyone have experience with this...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I sent my AH an email telling him that I loved him sooooo much, but, that I was not moving back under his " I'll party once in a while" conditions and that I didn't want and couldn't learn how to handle him when his wasted. I guess that pissed him off, cause he hasn't called me. I know it was the r...

Maria123 · Maria123

As some of you know, one of my sons has moved away. It's been really hard to let him go yet knowing that this is his life and he has his own higher power and I am not it. It's fine when all is going good for him but when things get rough, I go right back to the "mother worry." He's fiercely independ...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I sent my AH an email telling him that I loved him sooooo much, but, that I was not moving back under his " I'll party once in a while" conditions and that I didn't want and couldn't learn how to handle him when his wasted. I guess that pissed him off, cause he hasn't called me. I know it was the r...

Rora · Rora

In my meeting last night, the meeting leader spoke of the three obstacles to success, as they always do. As I have heard and read many times before. For the first time, when #2 Gossip was read, I heard: "We do not discuss members or others, and particularily not the alcoholic." Also, I thi...

Chetch · Chetch

Hi all, Wednesday night my AH fell, hit hihead, lost control of his bowels and couldn't get up. I called 911 and the paramedics took him to the ER. His blood alchohol ws .345! They admitted him and have been detoxing him, but may discharge him tomorrow. We met with the pstchiatrist this after noon and m...

Canary · Canary

Do I just put myself out there? DO I come right out and say I need a sponsor?? Because of my work schedule and childcare needs, it is hard for me to get to the same meeting on the same day and time. I work 12 hour shifts.

david62 · david62

Hi Family, I got on here to write about detachment and read Serendipity's post on the topic, so it seems it is my topic of the week. (My HP seems to pick those out for me and arranges all sorts of interesting things to prod me to study something specific!) Detachment came up at one of my meetings this week t...

CalamityJane · CalamityJane

Firstly, Hello to all and Happy New Year! I haven't posted on here for a long, long time but often read other posts so please forgive me if it seems that I am only writing on here now I need help! I am 28 years old and 2 years ago my long term relationship broke down (not through alcohol) and I moved back home to...

maresie · maresie

At long last I am beginning to be able to count on my own judgment rather than wondering whether it is always going to awol. I went for a part time job recently (money troubles will be with me for years). I did not like the way the company's attitude. I felt like I was getting the run around. I could not mak...

debilyn · debilyn

I would say it is driving me crazy, but I am there already. For weeks and weeks I dream about my first husband every single night. My doctor told me I am trying to connect with him. For awhile it was kinda nice, was the only time I was not alone. But now it is affecting me even when I wake up. It almost scares me...

maresie · maresie

I've just been reading a research paper about alcoholism that describes the alcoholic as 'impulsive". The paper also suggested that there were various "cues" that the alcoholic associated with drinking. On the same level I think when I was with the alcoholic and even today in my...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Okay family, I am at that place AGAIN, sigh, when it all comes back to that beautiful word...SERENITY. I thought that once I had found it, I would never let it go. Well, I have had to think again. You see, I have had glimpses of it and it has slipped from me...this time, I am not prepared to let it go so I thoug...

introduction new member · maryam

I am new here and am going insane with my b/f, he is a severe alcoholic and has been for most of his life. Has been in and out of treatment, more detox then i can remember, sad thing is i moved in here last year when all was ok again, believing as many of us do MAYBE THIS TIME! well it has continued since then and a...

maresie · maresie

Since new year I have been really working on getting out and doing as much as I can to improve my physical health. Every day I work on eating better, and trying to work on getting better on so many levels. I am fully aware living with an active alcoholic for 8 years took an enormous toll on me. Right now I am...

missing out · missing out

Well... Yet another day... Most of you that have read my thoughts know that my broter is an A... Well after reading all that I have "So far" and learning what I learned.. I still can not stand the fact that my brother is almost 30 yrs old...And is TOTALLY CLUELESS. Since my fathers passing a cou...

glad · glad

Well like an idot I was looking at a relationship building exercise online, that includes the "di-add" (sp?), where you look into your partners eyes for extended periods of time and share etc... exercises he OF COURSE- REJECTED at the moment i brought it up. Then this morning said &qu...

maryam · maryam

Just wanted to thank you all for your replys and for making me feel welcome, I am in such a state, This is day 15 of the drinking, I tried to get him to go for help today, but due to him now being charged for it he dicided to try to stop on his own by slowing it down, worked once before , but i don't think it will thi...

Rora · Rora

Being separated from my aH, I am still shaky on my feet in the newness of my life. We've been very on and off for the past year, each of us moving in our own directions. I feel as though, the reconciliations of the past have been a result of my being willing to "chase" him, make ammends, insanely...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful that we are all in this together--no matter how crazy life gets, we have each other! I am never alone because I have a God of my understanding that is always with me. He will pull me through any rough situation if I let HIM. And, I just want to say to all: Hang in there & wait for the miracl...

barisax · barisax

Stuff just pops into my head, and sometimes I find words to express about something from long ago. I don't know what triggered it today, but - I found myself thinking about a conversation I had with my cousin 10 or more years ago. This was a cousin I had never actually met - one of many offspring of an uncl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I met a guy and our "relationship" is moving along VERY quickly. I am being sucked in by the black hole of love again and I am not really sure how to behave. All of my relationships have been very fast moving and this is no exception. In the past they have all been alcoholics/addicts. I ha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I got to thinking today and thought maybe it was just easier for me to think that he was a manipulative, game playing lier than an alcoholic. I never knew him when he was drinking so have little to go on there, but it just seems to me that so much of his behavior and thought processes were all over and irrat...

Rora · Rora

My aH from whom I am separated made plans with me to pick up our son at 6am today.(They have to be 2 hrs away at 8am). It's chatted up over the weekend, "...going on a big long drive, need to get up nice and early...etc" So, son and I get up at 5:15am. (Normally, we'd get up around 6:15am) Son is up a...

Codependent · Codependent

I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time. All women. It was great as they were so nice to me and basically made the meeting about me. Told the truth about my ambivalence in defining myself as an alcoholic. I'll def be going back.

sgraingermk · sgraingermk

Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post. I'm really trying to stay strong and focus f on myself....I really am. Just when I think I'm doing good I relapse. My AH is still drinking on and off. If he goes thru stages and when he is not drinking is when I relapse. And then it's even harder to get back...

Canary · Canary

As you all know, if you have read my posts and remember me, I removed my aH from the home 28 days ago after coming home drunk. In short, he was sober for 8 years, started drinking (binge drinker), went to rehab and was sober for another 5 months. After enduring a year of chaos, insanity, fear and panic, I tol...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, Wanted to reach out and share a bit on what's going on for me in recovery. Sometimes I feel that my progress is oh so slow and I wonder if I will ever achieve the astounding progress that I've witnessed on this board and in my home group. I can remember saying that I was faking it till I make...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Hey all, I just posted the following message on the teen board.... Hey all! Meeting at 8pm EST! I'm gonna do my best to be there and if not then someone else may be there in my place you're not alone! LanchasSo I hope someone will be there if I can't. Lanchas

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

My best friend (and principal "qualifier") is sober but has dropped out of recovery (though he wouldn't put it that way) and for the last 4 or so years has been more and more self destructive. I've been in Al-anon a year. After yet another disasterous holiday season, I decided things...

missing out · missing out

I know that by now, I should be use to my Abrothers way of life, but when he does some of things that affect his children and their happiness, I would like to just bust him...His children are always asking when they can stay so I talked them a week ago, told them to go home and ask their parents if they could st...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

I cant stop crying. I dont understand why this hurts so much. Mark (the A in my life) has left me. Two days before my University interview thank you very much mark. I should be happy he has gone after everything thats happend I shoud be glad. Am I normal to be unset he has gone. This has eally messed with my he...

Codependent · Codependent

I was researching meeting times for Alanon in my area and one of them said Fellowship AFG. What does AFG mean? Also, one said beginner's. Is that the one I should attend.

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Please bear with a moment. This isn't a political statement. But I can't let the moment go by with making note of the historical significance of this day. In my lifetime, I really never thought I would see this day. I am awed by the historical significance of the moment. A new pres...

Heather72 · Heather72

I never thought I would be faced with such a troublesome situation within my own family. My daughter, who will be 4 this Sunday, has been struggling not seeing her dad. My divorced was final from him back in May of last year. I was award sole custody and he was granted supervised visitation. I particip...

tay · tay

I'll help to yall

joyoma · joyoma

For the past several weeks, my grandson (3 1/2) has begun to speak about his mother's boyfriend. My son and his EX have been divorced since the child was 9 months old. Son does have alcohol issues, attends AA sporadically, but still cannot label him an alcoholic since he is sober way more than he drink...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) Is ther no easy way?? I woke up this morning and feel I cant do this, I want to call my bf and say come back I didnt mean it, come home and stay. All his clothes are here I miss him so much. Why didnt I tel him how much I wanted him, why didnt I make him stay with me. I know I done the right thing but it...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I spoke to EXABF awhile back about perhaps starting to attend AA meetings with him, if we ever chose to get back together, my goal being to learn more about the disease of alcoholism itself and the ways that it affects a person, sober or drinking. I am betting that sober A's such as my ex, also still ca...

glad · glad

When I read Emotional Unavailablilty by Bryn C. Collins- it helped me understand even more how I didn't cause it , can't control it and can't cure it NOT alanon lit. but so very helpful. Was just rereading book and felt it might help some others. Love to all Glad

Codependent · Codependent

Went to Celebrate Recovery last night and small group on Codependency 12 steps. A couple of weeks ago I got the book and the co facilitator told me I didn't have to pay then that I could pay in a couple of weeks or never. Anyway, last night I went to the group and the facilitator noting I had a book asked if I...

Robinks · Robinks

Today, I need a prayer, encouragement and your experience, strength and hope.My son is being a jerk, he is 13. He is not keeping up with his school work. He is very smart and always has been on the honor roll, not this year. He has made two c's on report card, this last report card one C in science. He does not...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am sooooo angry right now at pretty much everything that I swear I could explode. After 2 months more, post breakup, of leading me on to believe we were on the verge of reconciling sober and IN PROGRAM 10 yrs EXABF pulls another 180 and says he was thinking that we were working toward a reconciliat...

ddub · ddub

I've been housebound for a few weeks due to temporary medical issures and inside my head at times too much. It's an art when you are isolated to set things aside and rest from it all with a movie or fiction book. Phone visits sure help to remind me to take a break but yet I am grateful for the intense rush of...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to take a minute and Thank everyone who responded to my post yesterday....Sometimes, like yesterday, I forget that I am sick to......just as much if not more than the former alcoholic in my life, and again will continue to pick and choose the same type of men in my life as long as I am. Until I fi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Chronic and Progressive (Preview) (((Family))),I wanted to share my ES&H. This fall I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that is chronic and progressive, manageable but not curable. Clearly, it has parallels to A-ism and my experience living with my disorder has given me immense compassion for and understanding of A-...	BlueCloud	10	729	Jan 31, 2009 by db55
	so this is what it feels like... (Preview) I failed to mention that my new boyfriend has an alcoholic father and this is the main reason that he has chosen to never drink. So I have been smoking lately and he'd like me to quit.... He made a few statements that really opened my eyes to what I did with the A. I hear it with new ears now of course and I kn...	carolinagirl	4	615	Jan 31, 2009 by Christy
	Triggers (Preview) One of my core issues is really not addressing my triggers. I do not do well on holidays or any significant dates My primary defects are that I tend to procrastinate doing something proactive or act in some other kind of self sabataging way about it. I know now there were lots of things I could have done...	maresie	1	501	Jan 30, 2009 by nmike
	same old promises (Preview) Day 2 after my a is caught drinking while watching my 2 babies...He's sorry he screwed up my life, he doesn't know what's wrong with him, if i want him to go he'll leave, he will seek the help and go to meetings, he wants to continue watching the kids, he promises it will be different this time...blah, bla...	newlife	2	572	Jan 30, 2009 by Jerry F
	is there something wrong with my program???? (Preview) I am today, still, struggling with letting go of anger and resentment towards EXABF. I know what he did was for the best for him, and even for me now, but I can't get past the anger right now. I still love him but can NOT imagine laying eyes on him at this point. Then I think about my program and...	shellyj123	2	763	Jan 30, 2009 by Jerry F
	im new... HELLO!! Want to share a bit here (Preview) my husband hasnt drank in 7 yrs but hes depressed "lost" "empty" and/or angry a lot of the time...and he turns it toward me. my sponsor says its not me its him and i need to go about living my life and finding happiness. but i feel so guilty and also angry that hes being this way. he...	Jehnifer	11	674	Jan 30, 2009 by Quiltgurl
	Need to connect with others who have left the A in their lives. (Preview) My husband of 5 years, (been together for 13), has been out of the house for 27 days. He was sober for 8 years but started drinking December '07. Monthly....drink for days, out of the house. Would leave work, call me to tell me he was leaving to come home and would never show. Only to get a phone call hours la...	Canary	12	652	Jan 30, 2009 by sweeetr
	So Confused.... (Preview) Hi guys, So I moved out of my A BF apartment 2 weekends ago. I had nowhere to go and two cats but I couldn't stay and be treated the way I was being treated. He was in the middle of a 10 day binge and doesn't really remember anything he did or said...he just knows that it was pretty ugly. He says that it was hi b...	reef999	5	705	Jan 30, 2009 by shellyj123
	feeling stuck (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this and so need an outlet other than family. I feel very stuck and sad. My husband hit rockbottom after my first child was born 31/2 years ago. He was removed from my home, went to rehab and seemed to be reborn. Everyone was so blown away by his 360. To good to true of course....i have a...	newlife	6	837	Jan 30, 2009 by maresie
	Just when I thought I was making progress... (Preview) Well, tried dropping my child of at the A's mother's last night. But, she assured me the A wasn't there so I ended up staying for lasagna. Was getting ready to leave when in he walked- obviously messed up. My child ran to him Daddy Daddy, etc. He made a big deal about holding him, etc. I didn't even loo...	Codependent	6	575	Jan 30, 2009 by maresie
	Heartbreak (Preview) I was just reading David's post and felt something inside what serendipity said about being afraid and never giving of yourself that much again. I was talking to my friend who lives on the other side of the US today, telling her about the new boyfriend and she said, be careful, just don't give him your w...	carolinagirl	4	447	Jan 30, 2009 by maresie
	Evil Burt (Preview) I had stepped away from the room but I did read your message, yes I like you, thank you for the encouraging words take care	Robinks	0	407	Jan 30, 2009 by Robinks
	Realizing... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, So glad you are here. I have had trouble getting on the Internet. But it forces me to take care of me when there is no one to "talk" to. I am realizing some of my character defects. I won't commit, I hedge when asked a direct question, I don't communicate clearly. Not sure why. I am a...	nmike	7	587	Jan 29, 2009 by Suzannah
	One Year Anniversary with MIP (Preview) Hi (((((((((((MIP family))))))))))), Yesterday was one year since my first "serious" post to this board. I had posted a few times three years ago, but it has been a year since I started working my program in earnest. I am very grateful for all the ESH you have all shared directly in repl...	Rocky38	2	557	Jan 29, 2009 by nmike
	my introduction (Preview) Hello everyone...my name is Angela and I am new to this group, or any group for that matter. I have been attending Al-Anon once a week in my town for about three months now and I have found what I've been needing for a long long time. I was not new to the program- I am an adult child of an alcoholic (my dad has...	Angela1975	15	858	Jan 29, 2009 by Canary
	Seriously??? Is he kidding? (Preview) Okay he says that one of the big problems of stopping drinking is that he can't sleep. so yesturday we went to the doctor and obtain some med that is supposed to help him sleep- trasadone and something called Naltrexone HCL supposed to decrease "cravings"- anyone have experience with this...	glad	10	721	Jan 29, 2009 by Karilynn
	Sent him an email (Preview) So, I sent my AH an email telling him that I loved him sooooo much, but, that I was not moving back under his " I'll party once in a while" conditions and that I didn't want and couldn't learn how to handle him when his wasted. I guess that pissed him off, cause he hasn't called me. I know it was the r...	Priscilla83	1	594	Jan 29, 2009 by abbyal
	An intimate peek into a part of me (Preview) As some of you know, one of my sons has moved away. It's been really hard to let him go yet knowing that this is his life and he has his own higher power and I am not it. It's fine when all is going good for him but when things get rough, I go right back to the "mother worry." He's fiercely independ...	Maria123	8	638	Jan 29, 2009 by DD
	Sent him an email (Preview) So, I sent my AH an email telling him that I loved him sooooo much, but, that I was not moving back under his " I'll party once in a while" conditions and that I didn't want and couldn't learn how to handle him when his wasted. I guess that pissed him off, cause he hasn't called me. I know it was the r...	Priscilla83	2	558	Jan 29, 2009 by missing out
	Obstacles to success in Alanon... (Preview) In my meeting last night, the meeting leader spoke of the three obstacles to success, as they always do. As I have heard and read many times before. For the first time, when #2 Gossip was read, I heard: "We do not discuss members or others, and particularily not the alcoholic." Also, I thi...	Rora	6	3518	Jan 29, 2009 by Canary
	My AH is in the hospital being detoxed (Preview) Hi all, Wednesday night my AH fell, hit hihead, lost control of his bowels and couldn't get up. I called 911 and the paramedics took him to the ER. His blood alchohol ws .345! They admitted him and have been detoxing him, but may discharge him tomorrow. We met with the pstchiatrist this after noon and m...	Chetch	6	968	Jan 29, 2009 by abbyal
	Another question. How do I go about finding a sponsor at a f2f meeting? (Preview) Do I just put myself out there? DO I come right out and say I need a sponsor?? Because of my work schedule and childcare needs, it is hard for me to get to the same meeting on the same day and time. I work 12 hour shifts.	Canary	5	530	Jan 28, 2009 by tommyecat
	Detaching with love (part 2) - Thanks Serendipity (Preview) Hi Family, I got on here to write about detachment and read Serendipity's post on the topic, so it seems it is my topic of the week. (My HP seems to pick those out for me and arranges all sorts of interesting things to prod me to study something specific!) Detachment came up at one of my meetings this week t...	david62	7	3835	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	Help! I'm at the end of my patience!!! (Preview) Firstly, Hello to all and Happy New Year! I haven't posted on here for a long, long time but often read other posts so please forgive me if it seems that I am only writing on here now I need help! I am 28 years old and 2 years ago my long term relationship broke down (not through alcohol) and I moved back home to...	CalamityJane	6	687	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	Being a resource for myself. (Preview) At long last I am beginning to be able to count on my own judgment rather than wondering whether it is always going to awol. I went for a part time job recently (money troubles will be with me for years). I did not like the way the company's attitude. I felt like I was getting the run around. I could not mak...	maresie	6	573	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	still dreaming of him/sharing (Preview) I would say it is driving me crazy, but I am there already. For weeks and weeks I dream about my first husband every single night. My doctor told me I am trying to connect with him. For awhile it was kinda nice, was the only time I was not alone. But now it is affecting me even when I wake up. It almost scares me...	debilyn	9	746	Jan 28, 2009 by debilyn
	Impulsive (Preview) I've just been reading a research paper about alcoholism that describes the alcoholic as 'impulsive". The paper also suggested that there were various "cues" that the alcoholic associated with drinking. On the same level I think when I was with the alcoholic and even today in my...	maresie	5	778	Jan 28, 2009 by blender_girl
	SERENITY...that's what I need and that's what I WANT...ALWAYS. (Preview) Okay family, I am at that place AGAIN, sigh, when it all comes back to that beautiful word...SERENITY. I thought that once I had found it, I would never let it go. Well, I have had to think again. You see, I have had glimpses of it and it has slipped from me...this time, I am not prepared to let it go so I thoug...	Suzannah	5	816	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	introduction new member (Preview) I am new here and am going insane with my b/f, he is a severe alcoholic and has been for most of his life. Has been in and out of treatment, more detox then i can remember, sad thing is i moved in here last year when all was ok again, believing as many of us do MAYBE THIS TIME! well it has continued since then and a...	maryam	8	547	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	Am I doing enugh ? (Preview) Since new year I have been really working on getting out and doing as much as I can to improve my physical health. Every day I work on eating better, and trying to work on getting better on so many levels. I am fully aware living with an active alcoholic for 8 years took an enormous toll on me. Right now I am...	maresie	2	476	Jan 28, 2009 by Maria123
	What and when will he 'get it'.... (Preview) Well... Yet another day... Most of you that have read my thoughts know that my broter is an A... Well after reading all that I have "So far" and learning what I learned.. I still can not stand the fact that my brother is almost 30 yrs old...And is TOTALLY CLUELESS. Since my fathers passing a cou...	missing out	7	885	Jan 28, 2009 by shellyj123
	old rant- new experience brought it to mind (Preview) Well like an idot I was looking at a relationship building exercise online, that includes the "di-add" (sp?), where you look into your partners eyes for extended periods of time and share etc... exercises he OF COURSE- REJECTED at the moment i brought it up. Then this morning said &qu...	glad	3	617	Jan 28, 2009 by Jerry F
	RE........... (Preview) Just wanted to thank you all for your replys and for making me feel welcome, I am in such a state, This is day 15 of the drinking, I tried to get him to go for help today, but due to him now being charged for it he dicided to try to stop on his own by slowing it down, worked once before , but i don't think it will thi...	maryam	3	575	Jan 28, 2009 by missing out
	no more forcing outcomes (Preview) Being separated from my aH, I am still shaky on my feet in the newness of my life. We've been very on and off for the past year, each of us moving in our own directions. I feel as though, the reconciliations of the past have been a result of my being willing to "chase" him, make ammends, insanely...	Rora	5	799	Jan 27, 2009 by aunitedway
	We're all in this together (Preview) I am so grateful that we are all in this together--no matter how crazy life gets, we have each other! I am never alone because I have a God of my understanding that is always with me. He will pull me through any rough situation if I let HIM. And, I just want to say to all: Hang in there & wait for the miracl...	Hoot Nanny	4	509	Jan 27, 2009 by getoverit
	Live Recovery or Live the Disease (Preview) Stuff just pops into my head, and sometimes I find words to express about something from long ago. I don't know what triggered it today, but - I found myself thinking about a conversation I had with my cousin 10 or more years ago. This was a cousin I had never actually met - one of many offspring of an uncl...	barisax	5	737	Jan 27, 2009 by Rita G
	Throwing Caution to the wind (Preview) So I met a guy and our "relationship" is moving along VERY quickly. I am being sucked in by the black hole of love again and I am not really sure how to behave. All of my relationships have been very fast moving and this is no exception. In the past they have all been alcoholics/addicts. I ha...	carolinagirl	5	839	Jan 27, 2009 by Loupiness
	Been thinking about EABF, what part is alcholism and what part is really him?? (Preview) I got to thinking today and thought maybe it was just easier for me to think that he was a manipulative, game playing lier than an alcoholic. I never knew him when he was drinking so have little to go on there, but it just seems to me that so much of his behavior and thought processes were all over and irrat...	shellyj123	2	1320	Jan 26, 2009 by luna starla
	Making progress?? (Preview) My aH from whom I am separated made plans with me to pick up our son at 6am today.(They have to be 2 hrs away at 8am). It's chatted up over the weekend, "...going on a big long drive, need to get up nice and early...etc" So, son and I get up at 5:15am. (Normally, we'd get up around 6:15am) Son is up a...	Rora	3	576	Jan 26, 2009 by Rocky38
	Went to AA meeting (Preview) I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time. All women. It was great as they were so nice to me and basically made the meeting about me. Told the truth about my ambivalence in defining myself as an alcoholic. I'll def be going back.	Codependent	5	1005	Jan 26, 2009 by Codependent
	so confused (Preview) Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post. I'm really trying to stay strong and focus f on myself....I really am. Just when I think I'm doing good I relapse. My AH is still drinking on and off. If he goes thru stages and when he is not drinking is when I relapse. And then it's even harder to get back...	sgraingermk	8	729	Jan 26, 2009 by Ickle Lynnie
	Removed him from the house and he is talking about "US" going to Disney in November. Huh?? (Preview) As you all know, if you have read my posts and remember me, I removed my aH from the home 28 days ago after coming home drunk. In short, he was sober for 8 years, started drinking (binge drinker), went to rehab and was sober for another 5 months. After enduring a year of chaos, insanity, fear and panic, I tol...	Canary	10	645	Jan 26, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Rocky's on a Pink Cloud? (Preview) Hi MIP family, Wanted to reach out and share a bit on what's going on for me in recovery. Sometimes I feel that my progress is oh so slow and I wonder if I will ever achieve the astounding progress that I've witnessed on this board and in my home group. I can remember saying that I was faking it till I make...	Rocky38	7	1013	Jan 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	teen meeting help needed please! (Preview) Hey all, I just posted the following message on the teen board.... Hey all! Meeting at 8pm EST! I'm gonna do my best to be there and if not then someone else may be there in my place you're not alone! LanchasSo I hope someone will be there if I can't. Lanchas	Lanchas	3	369	Jan 26, 2009 by Lanchas
	Ego? Or not accepting unacceptable behavior? (Preview) My best friend (and principal "qualifier") is sober but has dropped out of recovery (though he wouldn't put it that way) and for the last 4 or so years has been more and more self destructive. I've been in Al-anon a year. After yet another disasterous holiday season, I decided things...	gngcrzy	6	2449	Jan 26, 2009 by Jean4444
	My A Brother at it again... aaauuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I know that by now, I should be use to my Abrothers way of life, but when he does some of things that affect his children and their happiness, I would like to just bust him...His children are always asking when they can stay so I talked them a week ago, told them to go home and ask their parents if they could st...	missing out	2	438	Jan 25, 2009 by nmike
	Distraught (Preview) I cant stop crying. I dont understand why this hurts so much. Mark (the A in my life) has left me. Two days before my University interview thank you very much mark. I should be happy he has gone after everything thats happend I shoud be glad. Am I normal to be unset he has gone. This has eally messed with my he...	mum2leahnjosh	7	600	Jan 25, 2009 by nmike
	Meeting Acronymns (Preview) I was researching meeting times for Alanon in my area and one of them said Fellowship AFG. What does AFG mean? Also, one said beginner's. Is that the one I should attend.	Codependent	3	8483	Jan 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	Innauguration Day. (Preview) ((((Family)))), Please bear with a moment. This isn't a political statement. But I can't let the moment go by with making note of the historical significance of this day. In my lifetime, I really never thought I would see this day. I am awed by the historical significance of the moment. A new pres...	Karilynn	9	944	Jan 25, 2009 by John
	Post Divorce with an apparent dead beat ex AH-- my daughter is suffering (Preview) I never thought I would be faced with such a troublesome situation within my own family. My daughter, who will be 4 this Sunday, has been struggling not seeing her dad. My divorced was final from him back in May of last year. I was award sole custody and he was granted supervised visitation. I particip...	Heather72	5	586	Jan 25, 2009 by Heather72
	yo i'll help 2 i'll help me 2 (Preview) I'll help to yall	tay	1	462	Jan 25, 2009 by debilyn
	Help me to accept this! (Preview) For the past several weeks, my grandson (3 1/2) has begun to speak about his mother's boyfriend. My son and his EX have been divorced since the child was 9 months old. Son does have alcohol issues, attends AA sporadically, but still cannot label him an alcoholic since he is sober way more than he drink...	joyoma	14	856	Jan 25, 2009 by joyoma
	Trying really hard to detach (Preview) Dear (((All))) Is ther no easy way?? I woke up this morning and feel I cant do this, I want to call my bf and say come back I didnt mean it, come home and stay. All his clothes are here I miss him so much. Why didnt I tel him how much I wanted him, why didnt I make him stay with me. I know I done the right thing but it...	Mariner	4	559	Jan 25, 2009 by Canary
	Am I being Naive??? Looking for a book..........any input would be great! (Preview) I spoke to EXABF awhile back about perhaps starting to attend AA meetings with him, if we ever chose to get back together, my goal being to learn more about the disease of alcoholism itself and the ways that it affects a person, sober or drinking. I am betting that sober A's such as my ex, also still ca...	shellyj123	6	701	Jan 24, 2009 by Canary
	so they hurt us again and again, and seem to think we deserve it? (Preview) When I read Emotional Unavailablilty by Bryn C. Collins- it helped me understand even more how I didn't cause it , can't control it and can't cure it NOT alanon lit. but so very helpful. Was just rereading book and felt it might help some others. Love to all Glad	glad	2	593	Jan 24, 2009 by nmike
	Resentment at meeting faciliatator (Preview) Went to Celebrate Recovery last night and small group on Codependency 12 steps. A couple of weeks ago I got the book and the co facilitator told me I didn't have to pay then that I could pay in a couple of weeks or never. Anyway, last night I went to the group and the facilitator noting I had a book asked if I...	Codependent	3	672	Jan 24, 2009 by maresie
	Need a prayer (Preview) Today, I need a prayer, encouragement and your experience, strength and hope.My son is being a jerk, he is 13. He is not keeping up with his school work. He is very smart and always has been on the honor roll, not this year. He has made two c's on report card, this last report card one C in science. He does not...	Robinks	5	520	Jan 24, 2009 by bcanuck
	Walking away from program......... (Preview) I am sooooo angry right now at pretty much everything that I swear I could explode. After 2 months more, post breakup, of leading me on to believe we were on the verge of reconciling sober and IN PROGRAM 10 yrs EXABF pulls another 180 and says he was thinking that we were working toward a reconciliat...	shellyj123	11	971	Jan 24, 2009 by glad
	musings on lighter not empty (Preview) I've been housebound for a few weeks due to temporary medical issures and inside my head at times too much. It's an art when you are isolated to set things aside and rest from it all with a movie or fiction book. Phone visits sure help to remind me to take a break but yet I am grateful for the intense rush of...	ddub	3	637	Jan 24, 2009 by ddub
	Thank you (Preview) I wanted to take a minute and Thank everyone who responded to my post yesterday....Sometimes, like yesterday, I forget that I am sick to......just as much if not more than the former alcoholic in my life, and again will continue to pick and choose the same type of men in my life as long as I am. Until I fi...	shellyj123	3	507	Jan 23, 2009 by RLC
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.