The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I met a guy and our "relationship" is moving along VERY quickly. I am being sucked in by the black hole of love again and I am not really sure how to behave. All of my relationships have been very fast moving and this is no exception. In the past they have all been alcoholics/addicts. I have no concerns of drugs/alcohol, etc. this guy is clean and sober and was never an addict. I have been very hesitant to get involved with anyone else and something just clicked with this guy that threw me into high gear.
I feel like I have been living with a veiled heart and unable to fully feel and love. I want to give it fully but I don't want it to be smashed again and it's so hard to find balance. I know that I am putting myself out there and this is the first time that I am in danger of being truly hurt by a man again. I had been seeing some other people but keeping them out of my heart, him I have let in and it scares me to death. I feel like this is something really worthwhile and could be spectacular and I want to give it my best effort. I want to work on building something with this guy, it's just scary to trust again and I keep finding myself questioning his intentions.
i think the fact you have set the limit of clean and sober is a real milestone.
Personally I take it very very slowly. I wait and wait and wait some more.
I rushed in during most of my relationships. Getting out is too difficult then.
Of course I understand loneliness, feeling that you need someone, all those things. I just know were rushing in got me. That's my ESH.
I also know without a doubt I gave every single relaitionship I've been in my best effort. I had to learn to give less and watch more. i didn't reflect, went into denial and then recommitted to something that didn't work in the first place.
(((Carolinagirl))) I guess I would have to agree with Jean... You have the choice to slow it down, and it this guy is the "One" you want to let in, he will still be there once you get "YOU" figured out...
I know what it feels like as well to rush, I was one that was in love after every first date...lol... and welp NONE of those worked out...But I have been happily married for the last 8 years and with this one, He turned Grey waiting on me to make up my mind...lol... But he was there when I knew what I wanted, and tho I am lucky to have him, I feel that he is pretty lucky too. Too have got'n me...
Don't sell yourself short... Give yourself time to find your true heart... Your worth it... And take it "one Day at a time"...
Your friend in Recovery... Hugs & Prayers Missing Out...
__________________
Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
I guess I am ignorant. Don't understand what one means when they say a relationship is going fast.?
Doesn't it grow naturally as you both get to know each other? What would make you afraid, when you know things will open up when one is ready?
Sometimes, well I used to, we tend to think too much, analyze everything instead of just enjoying.
If it is too quick physically, I would guess that would make anyone confused.
You have grown so much, and look how great you are doing!! I am glad you are looking at your feelings, however, don't forget to enjoy just getting to know him.
