Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kristielaine · kristielaine

This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f). I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus...

java · java

I need to remind myself of the Six Guidelines for setting boundaries. I know Kitty recently posted them, but I don't think that it would hurt to post them again. Six Guidelines for Setting Boundaries1. Have clearly defined expectations.2. Clearly defined consequences that don't disrupt your sere...

Jozie · Jozie

So for me today I have beel layin low trying to gather my thoughts as to getting my emotions in order so I can speak with out tears, thanks to my SIL and our Soccer Walks I think I am there now :) Thanks Shelly :) Ok so last night after my sons practice we went to my momma's and went swimming with my neice and neph...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I am learning that we are not supposed to count on the alcoholic for support. But there are times (when he's sober) that I get major/much-needed support from my husband and I like the way he makes me feel. I always assumed that spouses are supposed to support each other and count on each other? Or doe...

gknee · gknee

Hey everyone- give me some of that ESH! Just got off the phone with AH. He is sobbing. Just emerging from the latest episode of drinking and drugging with the usual remorse and rawness. He is just so incredibly sick- mentally and physically. My response to him is basically this- I am so sorry you are in s...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

So, I opened and read my alcoholic fiances email today...found out that he had an adult friend finder account, and confronted him about it. He said he did it when he was drunk and high and it didn't mean anything to him. I feel betrayed, and now he is incredibly mad at me. I also read some flirtatious em...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING WONDERFUL SLEEP--THE BEST I HAVE MANAGED LATELY. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TURN THINGS OVER & JUST RELAX ENOUGH TO CLOSE MY EYES & GET INTO SOME RESTFUL SLEEP! I ALSO HAVE BEEN WALKING & EXERCISING AS USUAL--KINDA IRREGULAR BUT CONSI...

Ness · Ness

So... my Ason has today asked for help, one, from his doctor to get onto a recovery programme, (round 2) he should have a place in the psych ward next week and on to rehab if he so chooses .....and two (to me, more importantly)...he also sought help and support from a member of his AA group.....after th...

carla036 · carla036

Hi to all of my long time friends and family here at MIP. I tried like heck to get in the room this morning to no avail, so I figured hp had a different plan for me. So came to the message board,and got right on?#$ Anyways, alot of you have known me a very long time ,some not,so I will reintroduce myself and s...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly

java · java

I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...

ajay147 · ajay147

Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...

ticswife · ticswife

Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...

barisax · barisax

Drama Goddess today left for a residential treatment program in another city, escorted by her probation officer. Hopefully the beginning of some recovery for this girl... if you've read about teenage girls and their "issues", she's been there / done it.... except for doing drugs an...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own...

blender_girl · blender_girl

OK - we are starting Day 5 of my AH's recovery. I recognize that it's really really early in the process and I'm trying REALLY hard to stay out of his business - however (yes, I know, that sounds an awful lot like "but") my boundary was that he reach out to a trusted AA friend to get started. So...

ticswife · ticswife

Ness, I just wanted to thank you for your answer to my post....You said "I knew the only thing left was to let go and save myself." I needed to hear that I could do that and it would be ok, that it was alright for me to let go because thats what I have to do- -"Let go to save myself" e...

Rosepetals · Rosepetals

I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?

mermaid88 · mermaid88

My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...

Overcome · Overcome

The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...

Maria123 · Maria123

I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...

Temple · Temple

I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...

Jeninoz · Jeninoz

Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...

sterling7 · sterling7

First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...

buick23 · buick23

Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...

Carlasdad · Carlasdad

Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...

Rora · Rora

For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...

PixieB · PixieB

Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...

Jozie · Jozie

After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...

Inpain · Inpain

Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...

ernie · ernie

Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...

brownmf · brownmf

I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...

sterling7 · sterling7

I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...

maresie · maresie

I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...

debilyn · debilyn

Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...

danz123 · danz123

August 9, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of July minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old business-new op liason committee member needed ...

Mattie · Mattie

Hi -- I'm a longtime lurker, and I'd appreciate some ES&H on my situation if you have any! My A is my ex-husband -- he's a very secretive drinker, so that it took me a long time to figure out what was really going on. For instance, I've never seen him drink, not once in more than 15 years. But some reall...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Thank you to everyone who has given me input. I don't think I would have survived without my online Al-Anon buddies and my supportive family. Today is a lot better than yesterday because I'm slowly coming to terms with looking at him for who he really is; which is a sick person. Plus I'm looking at myself...

xter · xter

last night in f2f, someone shared about this article in the NY Times. she said that it read like the woman who wrote the article was in program the key to the share was how the the wife responded to her husband telling her he didn't love her anymore. she said, "i don't buy it". it's a good stor...

Loveridden · Loveridden

Hi everyone, just wanted to share that I now have a sponsor!! Yesterday I went to one of my f2f meetings and a lady there offered to sponsor me!! I am so happy to finally have a sponsor and the guidance she will give me!!

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My nephew's baby was actually born! He was trying to mess with his mother or something. She told me what she knew about her son's experiences with having his baby with his girlfriend --he is a very sick boy. Yeah, a boy. He is almost 20 & maturity wise he is just a child. So, anyway, no worries abou...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, Yesterday I did some searching to find the 12 Prayers to go with the 12 Steps... This is what I came up with... I Personally Laminated them so I can then carry them with me when I need them... If there is anything Differant of Wrong about them... I am sure I will be let know... :) Hope someone else can find...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've noticed that since I have become single again, that for some reason the men seem to be crawling out of the woodwork so to speak:). I've been asked out more times than I can count and have several men I talk to currently, but have been very direct in where I am and what I am and am not looking for. It seem...

Overcome · Overcome

I was reminded today to use the slogan "Let Go and Let God" when I read today's reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon. (August 7, p. 220) I have been trying to do this since I found out that my husband may have esphageal varices and a life-threatening condition with his throat from drinking (see earlier...

buick23 · buick23

I have realized today that as long as I stay busy I am fine. When I have nothing to do and I'm by myself I start getting annoyed about my bf not being here. Today was the longest hours I've worked in a while and I'm so tired and sore. I am fine with being by myself right now. Maybe I'm just too tired to worry about...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Well, I got the draft of the divorce petition this week. HP intervened yesterday by not providing me with the opportunity or the privacy to discuss my questions about it with my lawyer. As a result, the opportunity to discuss my intent with my AH presented itself last night. He was (as usual) under t...

ticswife · ticswife

Thank you all for taking the time to pass on your wisdom...yesterday was a long day and it really helped to know there are people that have been where I am now and are willing to share about it. I packed up my A's stuff yesterday and put it in the shed where he can pick it up whenever hes ready I really didnt w...

Ness · Ness

Im finding the more Im learning the more contemplative and reflective Im becoming. I seem to be going through a period of quiet change.Things are tough going with my Ason for the last 3 weeks, so Im thankful that I heeded the wisdom of my MIP family and took myself to a f2f....the meeting is only once a wee...

maresie · maresie

My life with the ex A was completely chaotic. He had his own parade of charactors who also had their chaos. Every day was one long nightmare and I got used to dreading every moment. Right now I am in the place of working to simplify everything. Of course I want it all done tomorrow. I'm going to my storage...

katiecat · katiecat

I bought the book....we are working on step two so it's near the beginning which is great. And found out about another one closer to me from a member there so that will be good too. I'm so glad I found this site and my meeting....it has helped so much and I have so much to learn...but it's a beginning. Any...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am and went straight to my am daily readers of which there are 3-lol! Not sure which one but one talked about Just for Today and how this 24 hour period was all I have to work with and all the wonderful ways I could enjoy it. I decided right then and there that that is just what I would do. No crazy...

Inpain · Inpain

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone here that comes on and takes time to respond to posts. For me, it has helped tremendously. I can't always get to F2F meetings, even though I prefer that, b/c I have little ones at home, and scheduling is difficult. This board is so helpful for those moments of exp...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Doing much better (Preview) This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f). I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus...	kristielaine	6	657	Aug 12, 2009 by kitty
	Having problems setting boundaries with husband (Preview) I need to remind myself of the Six Guidelines for setting boundaries. I know Kitty recently posted them, but I don't think that it would hurt to post them again. Six Guidelines for Setting Boundaries1. Have clearly defined expectations.2. Clearly defined consequences that don't disrupt your sere...	java	7	6089	Aug 12, 2009 by kitty
	All ESH, prayers, encouragement anything... Welcome... (Preview) So for me today I have beel layin low trying to gather my thoughts as to getting my emotions in order so I can speak with out tears, thanks to my SIL and our Soccer Walks I think I am there now :) Thanks Shelly :) Ok so last night after my sons practice we went to my momma's and went swimming with my neice and neph...	Jozie	9	984	Aug 12, 2009 by Mandy123
	Confused about support (Preview) I am learning that we are not supposed to count on the alcoholic for support. But there are times (when he's sober) that I get major/much-needed support from my husband and I like the way he makes me feel. I always assumed that spouses are supposed to support each other and count on each other? Or doe...	N8SMOM	5	550	Aug 12, 2009 by Inpain
	a penny for your thoughts and feedback... (Preview) Hey everyone- give me some of that ESH! Just got off the phone with AH. He is sobbing. Just emerging from the latest episode of drinking and drugging with the usual remorse and rawness. He is just so incredibly sick- mentally and physically. My response to him is basically this- I am so sorry you are in s...	gknee	4	947	Aug 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Oops...I did something I should not have done. (Preview) So, I opened and read my alcoholic fiances email today...found out that he had an adult friend finder account, and confronted him about it. He said he did it when he was drunk and high and it didn't mean anything to him. I feel betrayed, and now he is incredibly mad at me. I also read some flirtatious em...	mermaid88	9	686	Aug 12, 2009 by Inpain
	SLEEP--OH WHAT A RELIEF! (Preview) JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING WONDERFUL SLEEP--THE BEST I HAVE MANAGED LATELY. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TURN THINGS OVER & JUST RELAX ENOUGH TO CLOSE MY EYES & GET INTO SOME RESTFUL SLEEP! I ALSO HAVE BEEN WALKING & EXERCISING AS USUAL--KINDA IRREGULAR BUT CONSI...	Hoot Nanny	2	602	Aug 12, 2009 by Jozie
	SO....my Ason..... (Preview) So... my Ason has today asked for help, one, from his doctor to get onto a recovery programme, (round 2) he should have a place in the psych ward next week and on to rehab if he so chooses .....and two (to me, more importantly)...he also sought help and support from a member of his AA group.....after th...	Ness	3	798	Aug 12, 2009 by Jozie
	Safety first... (Preview) Hi to all of my long time friends and family here at MIP. I tried like heck to get in the room this morning to no avail, so I figured hp had a different plan for me. So came to the message board,and got right on?#$ Anyways, alot of you have known me a very long time ,some not,so I will reintroduce myself and s...	carla036	4	812	Aug 12, 2009 by danz123
	I saw it all along....... (Preview) A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...	Hawk120025	8	575	Aug 12, 2009 by lavash
	Such a good good life.......I am blessed:) (Preview) Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...	shellyj123	1	635	Aug 12, 2009 by java
	THIS IS HARD (Preview) I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...	katiecat	9	994	Aug 11, 2009 by katiecat
	The lesson (Preview) So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...	carolinagirl	4	711	Aug 11, 2009 by debilyn
	ESH and prayers for Jozie and her son, neice and nephew (Preview) Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly	shellyj123	8	996	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	Overcome has become Java again (Preview) I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...	java	1	574	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	I'm sorry to say this, but, is alcoholism really a disease? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...	ajay147	16	3595	Aug 11, 2009 by lavash
	Taking Stock (Preview) Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...	ticswife	4	672	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	DG into Treatment (Preview) Drama Goddess today left for a residential treatment program in another city, escorted by her probation officer. Hopefully the beginning of some recovery for this girl... if you've read about teenage girls and their "issues", she's been there / done it.... except for doing drugs an...	barisax	11	762	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	I slipped I need your help (family) (Preview) I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own...	peacewithin	5	825	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Second-guessing myself, a little frustrated and concerned - could use a little ESH (Preview) OK - we are starting Day 5 of my AH's recovery. I recognize that it's really really early in the process and I'm trying REALLY hard to stay out of his business - however (yes, I know, that sounds an awful lot like "but") my boundary was that he reach out to a trusted AA friend to get started. So...	blender_girl	8	885	Aug 11, 2009 by Loupiness
	Ness----this one is for You (Preview) Ness, I just wanted to thank you for your answer to my post....You said "I knew the only thing left was to let go and save myself." I needed to hear that I could do that and it would be ok, that it was alright for me to let go because thats what I have to do- -"Let go to save myself" e...	ticswife	1	613	Aug 11, 2009 by Ness
	Pain again (Preview) I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...	Rosepetals	5	773	Aug 10, 2009 by Rosepetals
	Where have all the MIP "old timers" gone:)??? (Preview) Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?	shellyj123	24	1127	Aug 10, 2009 by barisax
	Hoping I did the right thing... (Preview) My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...	mermaid88	10	660	Aug 10, 2009 by mermaid88
	Just had Feathers Ruffled... (Preview) Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...	Jozie	6	869	Aug 10, 2009 by debilyn
	Change as it relates to Step 6 (Preview) The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...	Overcome	3	1258	Aug 10, 2009 by maresie
	Concept 4 - Participation is the key to harmony (Preview) I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...	Maria123	3	6565	Aug 10, 2009 by Mandy123
	Big Thank You to Christy (Preview) I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...	Temple	1	541	Aug 10, 2009 by Mariner
	Hello Friends I havent yet met (Preview) Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...	Jeninoz	6	969	Aug 10, 2009 by abbyal
	Dropped him off at detox this morning... (Preview) First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...	sterling7	9	917	Aug 9, 2009 by sterling7
	just an update (Preview) Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...	buick23	3	736	Aug 9, 2009 by sterling7
	Need help! (Preview) Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...	Carlasdad	8	961	Aug 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	How do you decide what to do? (Preview) For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...	Rora	6	915	Aug 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Just want to say Hi and thank you for your ES&H from a newbie to board. (Preview) Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...	PixieB	3	571	Aug 9, 2009 by maresie
	Funny How FAST Things Change... (Preview) After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...	Jozie	7	995	Aug 9, 2009 by Jozie
	When A doesn't get their way! (Preview) Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...	Inpain	4	840	Aug 9, 2009 by Jen
	July Business Minutes (Preview) Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...	ernie	0	375	Aug 9, 2009 by ernie
	I think my alcoholic made me stronger (Preview) Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...	RainyJamie	5	637	Aug 9, 2009 by Rora
	And I had been doing so well. (Preview) I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...	brownmf	8	732	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Detox! (Preview) I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...	sterling7	4	628	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Where I'm at (Preview) I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...	carolinagirl	6	569	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Storage (Preview) I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...	maresie	3	689	Aug 9, 2009 by buick23
	Was taught something today (Preview) Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...	debilyn	13	968	Aug 8, 2009 by belle1
	August 9th (9 PM EST) Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) August 9, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of July minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old business-new op liason committee member needed ...	danz123	1	644	Aug 8, 2009 by wp
	Any ESH on this? (Preview) Hi -- I'm a longtime lurker, and I'd appreciate some ES&H on my situation if you have any! My A is my ex-husband -- he's a very secretive drinker, so that it took me a long time to figure out what was really going on. For instance, I've never seen him drink, not once in more than 15 years. But some reall...	Mattie	6	594	Aug 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	Each day gets a little better (Preview) Thank you to everyone who has given me input. I don't think I would have survived without my online Al-Anon buddies and my supportive family. Today is a lot better than yesterday because I'm slowly coming to terms with looking at him for who he really is; which is a sick person. Plus I'm looking at myself...	kristielaine	3	497	Aug 8, 2009 by Tracy
	"i don't buy it" (Preview) last night in f2f, someone shared about this article in the NY Times. she said that it read like the woman who wrote the article was in program the key to the share was how the the wife responded to her husband telling her he didn't love her anymore. she said, "i don't buy it". it's a good stor...	xter	5	685	Aug 8, 2009 by lacewing
	Yay I have a sponsor now!! (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to share that I now have a sponsor!! Yesterday I went to one of my f2f meetings and a lady there offered to sponsor me!! I am so happy to finally have a sponsor and the guidance she will give me!!	Loveridden	2	582	Aug 7, 2009 by Mobirdie
	THE BABY WAS BORN AFTER ALL! (Preview) My nephew's baby was actually born! He was trying to mess with his mother or something. She told me what she knew about her son's experiences with having his baby with his girlfriend --he is a very sick boy. Yeah, a boy. He is almost 20 & maturity wise he is just a child. So, anyway, no worries abou...	Hoot Nanny	2	764	Aug 7, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	12 Prayers... (Preview) Ok, Yesterday I did some searching to find the 12 Prayers to go with the 12 Steps... This is what I came up with... I Personally Laminated them so I can then carry them with me when I need them... If there is anything Differant of Wrong about them... I am sure I will be let know... :) Hope someone else can find...	Jozie	3	2636	Aug 7, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Wondering why EXABF would tell me such a thing?Is it a program thing program or just him?? (Preview) I've noticed that since I have become single again, that for some reason the men seem to be crawling out of the woodwork so to speak:). I've been asked out more times than I can count and have several men I talk to currently, but have been very direct in where I am and what I am and am not looking for. It seem...	shellyj123	6	665	Aug 7, 2009 by Aloha
	Letting Go of my alcoholics medical condition and turning it over to God (Preview) I was reminded today to use the slogan "Let Go and Let God" when I read today's reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon. (August 7, p. 220) I have been trying to do this since I found out that my husband may have esphageal varices and a life-threatening condition with his throat from drinking (see earlier...	Overcome	2	506	Aug 7, 2009 by teddybearpoet
	my aha moment (Preview) I have realized today that as long as I stay busy I am fine. When I have nothing to do and I'm by myself I start getting annoyed about my bf not being here. Today was the longest hours I've worked in a while and I'm so tired and sore. I am fine with being by myself right now. Maybe I'm just too tired to worry about...	buick23	4	503	Aug 7, 2009 by katiecat
	Letting Go of the Outcome = Unexpected Results (Preview) Well, I got the draft of the divorce petition this week. HP intervened yesterday by not providing me with the opportunity or the privacy to discuss my questions about it with my lawyer. As a result, the opportunity to discuss my intent with my AH presented itself last night. He was (as usual) under t...	blender_girl	8	999	Aug 7, 2009 by katiecat
	Thank you All (Preview) Thank you all for taking the time to pass on your wisdom...yesterday was a long day and it really helped to know there are people that have been where I am now and are willing to share about it. I packed up my A's stuff yesterday and put it in the shed where he can pick it up whenever hes ready I really didnt w...	ticswife	3	503	Aug 7, 2009 by maresie
	Taking my time (Preview) Im finding the more Im learning the more contemplative and reflective Im becoming. I seem to be going through a period of quiet change.Things are tough going with my Ason for the last 3 weeks, so Im thankful that I heeded the wisdom of my MIP family and took myself to a f2f....the meeting is only once a wee...	Ness	3	514	Aug 7, 2009 by Ness
	Simplifying (Preview) My life with the ex A was completely chaotic. He had his own parade of charactors who also had their chaos. Every day was one long nightmare and I got used to dreading every moment. Right now I am in the place of working to simplify everything. Of course I want it all done tomorrow. I'm going to my storage...	maresie	3	420	Aug 6, 2009 by katiecat
	Went to my second meeting (Preview) I bought the book....we are working on step two so it's near the beginning which is great. And found out about another one closer to me from a member there so that will be good too. I'm so glad I found this site and my meeting....it has helped so much and I have so much to learn...but it's a beginning. Any...	katiecat	5	593	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	Just for today~Just for me:) (Preview) Woke up this am and went straight to my am daily readers of which there are 3-lol! Not sure which one but one talked about Just for Today and how this 24 hour period was all I have to work with and all the wonderful ways I could enjoy it. I decided right then and there that that is just what I would do. No crazy...	shellyj123	9	637	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	You guys give me strength (Preview) I just wanted to say thanks to everyone here that comes on and takes time to respond to posts. For me, it has helped tremendously. I can't always get to F2F meetings, even though I prefer that, b/c I have little ones at home, and scheduling is difficult. This board is so helpful for those moments of exp...	Inpain	4	511	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.