Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly

java · java

I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...

ajay147 · ajay147

Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...

ticswife · ticswife

Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...

barisax · barisax

Drama Goddess today left for a residential treatment program in another city, escorted by her probation officer. Hopefully the beginning of some recovery for this girl... if you've read about teenage girls and their "issues", she's been there / done it.... except for doing drugs an...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own...

blender_girl · blender_girl

OK - we are starting Day 5 of my AH's recovery. I recognize that it's really really early in the process and I'm trying REALLY hard to stay out of his business - however (yes, I know, that sounds an awful lot like "but") my boundary was that he reach out to a trusted AA friend to get started. So...

ticswife · ticswife

Ness, I just wanted to thank you for your answer to my post....You said "I knew the only thing left was to let go and save myself." I needed to hear that I could do that and it would be ok, that it was alright for me to let go because thats what I have to do- -"Let go to save myself" e...

Rosepetals · Rosepetals

I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?

mermaid88 · mermaid88

My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...

Overcome · Overcome

The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...

Maria123 · Maria123

I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...

Temple · Temple

I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...

Jeninoz · Jeninoz

Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...

sterling7 · sterling7

First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...

buick23 · buick23

Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...

Carlasdad · Carlasdad

Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...

Rora · Rora

For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...

PixieB · PixieB

Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...

Jozie · Jozie

After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...

Inpain · Inpain

Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...

ernie · ernie

Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...

brownmf · brownmf

I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...

sterling7 · sterling7

I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...

maresie · maresie

I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...

debilyn · debilyn

Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...

danz123 · danz123

August 9, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of July minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old business-new op liason committee member needed ...

Mattie · Mattie

Hi -- I'm a longtime lurker, and I'd appreciate some ES&H on my situation if you have any! My A is my ex-husband -- he's a very secretive drinker, so that it took me a long time to figure out what was really going on. For instance, I've never seen him drink, not once in more than 15 years. But some reall...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Thank you to everyone who has given me input. I don't think I would have survived without my online Al-Anon buddies and my supportive family. Today is a lot better than yesterday because I'm slowly coming to terms with looking at him for who he really is; which is a sick person. Plus I'm looking at myself...

xter · xter

last night in f2f, someone shared about this article in the NY Times. she said that it read like the woman who wrote the article was in program the key to the share was how the the wife responded to her husband telling her he didn't love her anymore. she said, "i don't buy it". it's a good stor...

Loveridden · Loveridden

Hi everyone, just wanted to share that I now have a sponsor!! Yesterday I went to one of my f2f meetings and a lady there offered to sponsor me!! I am so happy to finally have a sponsor and the guidance she will give me!!

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My nephew's baby was actually born! He was trying to mess with his mother or something. She told me what she knew about her son's experiences with having his baby with his girlfriend --he is a very sick boy. Yeah, a boy. He is almost 20 & maturity wise he is just a child. So, anyway, no worries abou...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, Yesterday I did some searching to find the 12 Prayers to go with the 12 Steps... This is what I came up with... I Personally Laminated them so I can then carry them with me when I need them... If there is anything Differant of Wrong about them... I am sure I will be let know... :) Hope someone else can find...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've noticed that since I have become single again, that for some reason the men seem to be crawling out of the woodwork so to speak:). I've been asked out more times than I can count and have several men I talk to currently, but have been very direct in where I am and what I am and am not looking for. It seem...

Overcome · Overcome

I was reminded today to use the slogan "Let Go and Let God" when I read today's reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon. (August 7, p. 220) I have been trying to do this since I found out that my husband may have esphageal varices and a life-threatening condition with his throat from drinking (see earlier...

buick23 · buick23

I have realized today that as long as I stay busy I am fine. When I have nothing to do and I'm by myself I start getting annoyed about my bf not being here. Today was the longest hours I've worked in a while and I'm so tired and sore. I am fine with being by myself right now. Maybe I'm just too tired to worry about...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Well, I got the draft of the divorce petition this week. HP intervened yesterday by not providing me with the opportunity or the privacy to discuss my questions about it with my lawyer. As a result, the opportunity to discuss my intent with my AH presented itself last night. He was (as usual) under t...

ticswife · ticswife

Thank you all for taking the time to pass on your wisdom...yesterday was a long day and it really helped to know there are people that have been where I am now and are willing to share about it. I packed up my A's stuff yesterday and put it in the shed where he can pick it up whenever hes ready I really didnt w...

Ness · Ness

Im finding the more Im learning the more contemplative and reflective Im becoming. I seem to be going through a period of quiet change.Things are tough going with my Ason for the last 3 weeks, so Im thankful that I heeded the wisdom of my MIP family and took myself to a f2f....the meeting is only once a wee...

maresie · maresie

My life with the ex A was completely chaotic. He had his own parade of charactors who also had their chaos. Every day was one long nightmare and I got used to dreading every moment. Right now I am in the place of working to simplify everything. Of course I want it all done tomorrow. I'm going to my storage...

katiecat · katiecat

I bought the book....we are working on step two so it's near the beginning which is great. And found out about another one closer to me from a member there so that will be good too. I'm so glad I found this site and my meeting....it has helped so much and I have so much to learn...but it's a beginning. Any...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am and went straight to my am daily readers of which there are 3-lol! Not sure which one but one talked about Just for Today and how this 24 hour period was all I have to work with and all the wonderful ways I could enjoy it. I decided right then and there that that is just what I would do. No crazy...

Inpain · Inpain

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone here that comes on and takes time to respond to posts. For me, it has helped tremendously. I can't always get to F2F meetings, even though I prefer that, b/c I have little ones at home, and scheduling is difficult. This board is so helpful for those moments of exp...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), So sad once again the news this morning reported that the woman who killed 8 people in a car crash was drunk & high. What a waste. What will it take for people to wake up and realize that this is a disease? That people need help and that we owe it to future generations to educate, regul...

Inpain · Inpain

This statement sucks. I know it. I hate it but it's true. There was a day we had this discussion in a F2F meeting. If you're new to al-anon (as I am) our members suggested backup plans. So, one member had the expectation her husband would remain sober as they worked on cleaning out a house. He didn't...

Overcome · Overcome

I just got a call from my husband that he was coming back from the ER (we are seperated going through a divorce). He said that he went to open a beer and couldn't swallow it and new he was in trouble. He has no insurance, so after going to several hospitals he found one that would take him and he said they didn'...

ticswife · ticswife

Hello All, I am new here and not really sure where to even start...I am married to an A but I am sure I dont have to tell anyone here how our life together has went for the past 4 years because if there is an A in your life you know all about the lies, the stealing,the covering up, the disappointment, the tr...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Today is a really hard day. I'm very depressed and scared. I woke up crying because I feel so used and violated. I can hardly cope here at work. I just can't understand how someone can be such a horrible human being to treat anyone the way I was treated and have no remorse. I'm also depressed because I allow...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Good news! I got a job. I will be moving to Goodyear, AZ at the end of this month. I will be working with the forclosure sector and rehabilitating the neighborhoods that have melted in the forclosure fiasco. I need help. For the life of me, I can't find any contact information re meetings in the area. God k...

Princess8899 · Princess8899

Last month, after 5 long months of fighting and begging him to tell me who he was having an affair with, I threw my husband of 10 years out of the house. I quickly confirmed my worst fears that he had been cheating on me since February with a girl who shares his fairly recently discovered spiritual beliefs...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Boyfriend and I broke up, it's over for good he says... no explanation. One day he loved me with all his heart and two days later he didn't love me anymore - or so he says. So I'm trying to right myself again, realize that I leaned too hard on a rotten post and fell down again. I'm still brushing myself off...

Tracy · Tracy

Last night when my sober ABF went to his meeting I was on the computer and looked up co-dependency on you tube. It was like a cloud of denial was lifted. I found myself crying for all the pain I HAVE PUT MYSELF THROUGH. THE words self sacrificing jummped out at me. That is what I have done all my life put e...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I saw it all along....... (Preview) A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...	Hawk120025	8	559	Aug 12, 2009 by lavash
	Such a good good life.......I am blessed:) (Preview) Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...	shellyj123	1	620	Aug 12, 2009 by java
	THIS IS HARD (Preview) I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...	katiecat	9	977	Aug 11, 2009 by katiecat
	The lesson (Preview) So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...	carolinagirl	4	697	Aug 11, 2009 by debilyn
	ESH and prayers for Jozie and her son, neice and nephew (Preview) Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly	shellyj123	8	977	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	Overcome has become Java again (Preview) I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...	java	1	552	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	I'm sorry to say this, but, is alcoholism really a disease? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...	ajay147	16	3531	Aug 11, 2009 by lavash
	Taking Stock (Preview) Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...	ticswife	4	652	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	DG into Treatment (Preview) Drama Goddess today left for a residential treatment program in another city, escorted by her probation officer. Hopefully the beginning of some recovery for this girl... if you've read about teenage girls and their "issues", she's been there / done it.... except for doing drugs an...	barisax	11	743	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	I slipped I need your help (family) (Preview) I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own...	peacewithin	5	807	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Second-guessing myself, a little frustrated and concerned - could use a little ESH (Preview) OK - we are starting Day 5 of my AH's recovery. I recognize that it's really really early in the process and I'm trying REALLY hard to stay out of his business - however (yes, I know, that sounds an awful lot like "but") my boundary was that he reach out to a trusted AA friend to get started. So...	blender_girl	8	865	Aug 11, 2009 by Loupiness
	Ness----this one is for You (Preview) Ness, I just wanted to thank you for your answer to my post....You said "I knew the only thing left was to let go and save myself." I needed to hear that I could do that and it would be ok, that it was alright for me to let go because thats what I have to do- -"Let go to save myself" e...	ticswife	1	594	Aug 11, 2009 by Ness
	Pain again (Preview) I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...	Rosepetals	5	752	Aug 10, 2009 by Rosepetals
	Where have all the MIP "old timers" gone:)??? (Preview) Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?	shellyj123	24	1109	Aug 10, 2009 by barisax
	Hoping I did the right thing... (Preview) My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...	mermaid88	10	641	Aug 10, 2009 by mermaid88
	Just had Feathers Ruffled... (Preview) Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...	Jozie	6	852	Aug 10, 2009 by debilyn
	Change as it relates to Step 6 (Preview) The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...	Overcome	3	1240	Aug 10, 2009 by maresie
	Concept 4 - Participation is the key to harmony (Preview) I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...	Maria123	3	6439	Aug 10, 2009 by Mandy123
	Big Thank You to Christy (Preview) I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...	Temple	1	524	Aug 10, 2009 by Mariner
	Hello Friends I havent yet met (Preview) Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...	Jeninoz	6	952	Aug 10, 2009 by abbyal
	Dropped him off at detox this morning... (Preview) First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...	sterling7	9	896	Aug 9, 2009 by sterling7
	just an update (Preview) Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...	buick23	3	717	Aug 9, 2009 by sterling7
	Need help! (Preview) Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...	Carlasdad	8	941	Aug 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	How do you decide what to do? (Preview) For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...	Rora	6	894	Aug 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Just want to say Hi and thank you for your ES&H from a newbie to board. (Preview) Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...	PixieB	3	552	Aug 9, 2009 by maresie
	Funny How FAST Things Change... (Preview) After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...	Jozie	7	977	Aug 9, 2009 by Jozie
	When A doesn't get their way! (Preview) Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...	Inpain	4	822	Aug 9, 2009 by Jen
	July Business Minutes (Preview) Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...	ernie	0	357	Aug 9, 2009 by ernie
	I think my alcoholic made me stronger (Preview) Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...	RainyJamie	5	618	Aug 9, 2009 by Rora
	And I had been doing so well. (Preview) I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...	brownmf	8	715	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Detox! (Preview) I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...	sterling7	4	608	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Where I'm at (Preview) I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...	carolinagirl	6	550	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Storage (Preview) I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...	maresie	3	670	Aug 9, 2009 by buick23
	Was taught something today (Preview) Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...	debilyn	13	951	Aug 8, 2009 by belle1
	August 9th (9 PM EST) Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) August 9, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of July minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old business-new op liason committee member needed ...	danz123	1	624	Aug 8, 2009 by wp
	Any ESH on this? (Preview) Hi -- I'm a longtime lurker, and I'd appreciate some ES&H on my situation if you have any! My A is my ex-husband -- he's a very secretive drinker, so that it took me a long time to figure out what was really going on. For instance, I've never seen him drink, not once in more than 15 years. But some reall...	Mattie	6	576	Aug 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	Each day gets a little better (Preview) Thank you to everyone who has given me input. I don't think I would have survived without my online Al-Anon buddies and my supportive family. Today is a lot better than yesterday because I'm slowly coming to terms with looking at him for who he really is; which is a sick person. Plus I'm looking at myself...	kristielaine	3	480	Aug 8, 2009 by Tracy
	"i don't buy it" (Preview) last night in f2f, someone shared about this article in the NY Times. she said that it read like the woman who wrote the article was in program the key to the share was how the the wife responded to her husband telling her he didn't love her anymore. she said, "i don't buy it". it's a good stor...	xter	5	662	Aug 8, 2009 by lacewing
	Yay I have a sponsor now!! (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to share that I now have a sponsor!! Yesterday I went to one of my f2f meetings and a lady there offered to sponsor me!! I am so happy to finally have a sponsor and the guidance she will give me!!	Loveridden	2	562	Aug 7, 2009 by Mobirdie
	THE BABY WAS BORN AFTER ALL! (Preview) My nephew's baby was actually born! He was trying to mess with his mother or something. She told me what she knew about her son's experiences with having his baby with his girlfriend --he is a very sick boy. Yeah, a boy. He is almost 20 & maturity wise he is just a child. So, anyway, no worries abou...	Hoot Nanny	2	741	Aug 7, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	12 Prayers... (Preview) Ok, Yesterday I did some searching to find the 12 Prayers to go with the 12 Steps... This is what I came up with... I Personally Laminated them so I can then carry them with me when I need them... If there is anything Differant of Wrong about them... I am sure I will be let know... :) Hope someone else can find...	Jozie	3	2586	Aug 7, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Wondering why EXABF would tell me such a thing?Is it a program thing program or just him?? (Preview) I've noticed that since I have become single again, that for some reason the men seem to be crawling out of the woodwork so to speak:). I've been asked out more times than I can count and have several men I talk to currently, but have been very direct in where I am and what I am and am not looking for. It seem...	shellyj123	6	648	Aug 7, 2009 by Aloha
	Letting Go of my alcoholics medical condition and turning it over to God (Preview) I was reminded today to use the slogan "Let Go and Let God" when I read today's reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon. (August 7, p. 220) I have been trying to do this since I found out that my husband may have esphageal varices and a life-threatening condition with his throat from drinking (see earlier...	Overcome	2	485	Aug 7, 2009 by teddybearpoet
	my aha moment (Preview) I have realized today that as long as I stay busy I am fine. When I have nothing to do and I'm by myself I start getting annoyed about my bf not being here. Today was the longest hours I've worked in a while and I'm so tired and sore. I am fine with being by myself right now. Maybe I'm just too tired to worry about...	buick23	4	482	Aug 7, 2009 by katiecat
	Letting Go of the Outcome = Unexpected Results (Preview) Well, I got the draft of the divorce petition this week. HP intervened yesterday by not providing me with the opportunity or the privacy to discuss my questions about it with my lawyer. As a result, the opportunity to discuss my intent with my AH presented itself last night. He was (as usual) under t...	blender_girl	8	973	Aug 7, 2009 by katiecat
	Thank you All (Preview) Thank you all for taking the time to pass on your wisdom...yesterday was a long day and it really helped to know there are people that have been where I am now and are willing to share about it. I packed up my A's stuff yesterday and put it in the shed where he can pick it up whenever hes ready I really didnt w...	ticswife	3	485	Aug 7, 2009 by maresie
	Taking my time (Preview) Im finding the more Im learning the more contemplative and reflective Im becoming. I seem to be going through a period of quiet change.Things are tough going with my Ason for the last 3 weeks, so Im thankful that I heeded the wisdom of my MIP family and took myself to a f2f....the meeting is only once a wee...	Ness	3	494	Aug 7, 2009 by Ness
	Simplifying (Preview) My life with the ex A was completely chaotic. He had his own parade of charactors who also had their chaos. Every day was one long nightmare and I got used to dreading every moment. Right now I am in the place of working to simplify everything. Of course I want it all done tomorrow. I'm going to my storage...	maresie	3	401	Aug 6, 2009 by katiecat
	Went to my second meeting (Preview) I bought the book....we are working on step two so it's near the beginning which is great. And found out about another one closer to me from a member there so that will be good too. I'm so glad I found this site and my meeting....it has helped so much and I have so much to learn...but it's a beginning. Any...	katiecat	5	575	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	Just for today~Just for me:) (Preview) Woke up this am and went straight to my am daily readers of which there are 3-lol! Not sure which one but one talked about Just for Today and how this 24 hour period was all I have to work with and all the wonderful ways I could enjoy it. I decided right then and there that that is just what I would do. No crazy...	shellyj123	9	615	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	You guys give me strength (Preview) I just wanted to say thanks to everyone here that comes on and takes time to respond to posts. For me, it has helped tremendously. I can't always get to F2F meetings, even though I prefer that, b/c I have little ones at home, and scheduling is difficult. This board is so helpful for those moments of exp...	Inpain	4	488	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	Really mad! (Preview) (((Family))), So sad once again the news this morning reported that the woman who killed 8 people in a car crash was drunk & high. What a waste. What will it take for people to wake up and realize that this is a disease? That people need help and that we owe it to future generations to educate, regul...	Karilynn	11	761	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
	You CAN NOT rely on the alcoholic (Preview) This statement sucks. I know it. I hate it but it's true. There was a day we had this discussion in a F2F meeting. If you're new to al-anon (as I am) our members suggested backup plans. So, one member had the expectation her husband would remain sober as they worked on cleaning out a house. He didn't...	Inpain	6	993	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	Husband has gone to ER (Preview) I just got a call from my husband that he was coming back from the ER (we are seperated going through a divorce). He said that he went to open a beer and couldn't swallow it and new he was in trouble. He has no insurance, so after going to several hospitals he found one that would take him and he said they didn'...	Overcome	6	592	Aug 6, 2009 by sterling7
	New here (Preview) Hello All, I am new here and not really sure where to even start...I am married to an A but I am sure I dont have to tell anyone here how our life together has went for the past 4 years because if there is an A in your life you know all about the lies, the stealing,the covering up, the disappointment, the tr...	ticswife	5	493	Aug 6, 2009 by Jen
	So many emotions (Preview) Today is a really hard day. I'm very depressed and scared. I woke up crying because I feel so used and violated. I can hardly cope here at work. I just can't understand how someone can be such a horrible human being to treat anyone the way I was treated and have no remorse. I'm also depressed because I allow...	kristielaine	7	528	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
	Good news & need help (Preview) Good news! I got a job. I will be moving to Goodyear, AZ at the end of this month. I will be working with the forclosure sector and rehabilitating the neighborhoods that have melted in the forclosure fiasco. I need help. For the life of me, I can't find any contact information re meetings in the area. God k...	Tiger2006	6	549	Aug 6, 2009 by blender_girl
	Saying goodbye to a dry drunk and my husband of 10 years. (Preview) Last month, after 5 long months of fighting and begging him to tell me who he was having an affair with, I threw my husband of 10 years out of the house. I quickly confirmed my worst fears that he had been cheating on me since February with a girl who shares his fairly recently discovered spiritual beliefs...	Princess8899	7	3813	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
	Heartbroken (Preview) Boyfriend and I broke up, it's over for good he says... no explanation. One day he loved me with all his heart and two days later he didn't love me anymore - or so he says. So I'm trying to right myself again, realize that I leaned too hard on a rotten post and fell down again. I'm still brushing myself off...	carolinagirl	8	965	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
	SELF CARE (Preview) Last night when my sober ABF went to his meeting I was on the computer and looked up co-dependency on you tube. It was like a cloud of denial was lifted. I found myself crying for all the pain I HAVE PUT MYSELF THROUGH. THE words self sacrificing jummped out at me. That is what I have done all my life put e...	Tracy	6	995	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.