Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all,I saw once again how working your program can really scare your A and just had to share. My addict husband went over to the neighbors Sunday night and came back and said he was going to walk up the little convenience store and buy the neighbor a beer for his birthday. I said ok and went about my busine...

Aloha · Aloha

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Long after reading ODAT and C2C today, I realized that I had read the wrong date. Apparently, the error occurred yesterday when I skipped August 3 and went right to August 4. This may seem like a minor problem to most, but for me, it has me confused. Should I read August 3's reading tomorrow and then be...

malady · malady

My husband has been inactive for only 18 days for the first time in 35 years. I have only known him 10 years and during this time he has never gone any longer than 3 days without drinking. I realize now that the withdrawl symptoms were too much for him to bare so he went right back to it. He finally admitted h...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

Is there NOTHING I can do? We've been separated for almost 11 months now but still communicate daily and see each other once or twice a week. I am now 5 and a half months sober. She knows she has a problem but is prejudiced against A.A. because she thinks she already knows everything about it (her dad is a...

beacheemom · beacheemom

When an A stops drinking, are they able to express their love for you better, or does that get worse? He thinks he is, even though I've expressed to him what I need from him, things dont change. You all know the dilemma on our sleeping situation, I've made several posts lately, and he emailed me and said it...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I remember the first time I read that I thought WOW! How can so few words hold soooo much insight. I remember coming here and being told if I didn't like the way I was feeling to try doing the opposite of what I had been doing and again thought WOW....pretty insightful. Today I am at a wall.......and I eithe...

katiecat · katiecat

Same old scenario with me and my sister. She gets drunk and I get worried and want to take care of her. She has two addictions alcohol and gambling. I don't even know how she's going to pay her rent. Oh and yes I had to drive over there(45 minutes) to see if she was alright and take her to lunch so that she...

debilyn · debilyn

I got up at five thirty, drove all the way there with no pain pills. Was all in a dress, did everything I could to my girl body to look ok. Everyone has to fill out an app. to visit someone in prison. Mine should have been done. Guess what, they screwed up. Typical eh? Administration is a joke. So I waited as th...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I text him and said "I hope to God that you are getting help - spare me with a violent response - goodbye". Now I feel bad and set myself up for the fact that he won't respond. I guess I'm just angry because everyone got to say what they needed to say but me. He said his peace, my family said what they...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have made peace--sorta--with everything I'm gonna tell you. Right now I'm still processing through the feelings. But I'm alive, sober, living in the solution, and it's all b/c of y'all. After I lost the job in KS, there was 1 more interview I had: Baylor University, Waco, TX. After a 10 minute interv...

HG · HG

After 15 years together, my A and I have separated. His drinking didn't become a problem until the last 4 years, during which time he's logged a total of 120 days inpatient treatment (28 days program, then later, a 90-day transitional living program). He also went to 3 different outpatient treatme...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm grieving. One of our local 15 year old female died of apparent alcohol poisoning. I wanna scream and throw a tantrum!!!! I'll end up outside doing a chant to HP. HP knows. HP hears me. I don't need further proof. This is a grievable offense and so that is what happens with me. I've worked with t...

Jozie · Jozie

Welperz... Yesterday was the start of my Son's Practice for Soccer, and My SIL & I desided to make a go of it, and while they practiced we would "Walk" for a Healthier US... She too is in Al-anon Program... Well honestly I looked forward to it all day... We walked to her Aunts to find out wh...

Overcome · Overcome

Well it's 11:40 p.m. I guess it's still officially August 3, so I can share on what the C2C reading on Aug. 3th meant to me. I must start with the beginning sentence, "There was a time in my life when I furiously insisted that alcoholism did not exist in my family." I remember being at a Thanksgi...

ESH · ESH

A-bf has been in hospital x 4 weeks now... 2-weeks in ICU and 2-weeks on a floor. He had had so much alcohol and pain-killers in his body that his liver and kidneys shut down. He then went into heart failure; had pneumonia and 2 other infections. Has needed transfusions and dialysis. He is still very w...

Inpain · Inpain

No really. I've been recognizing when and how my life has been controlled and how I control. My AH-sober-dry drunk (not b/c he wants to but because he wants to stay with his family) decided after watching a reality show on baking cakes, that he wanted to bake one. I had to secrety laugh to myself but to...

newbelief · newbelief

Hi everyone, I don't really ever post on the board but that doesn't mean I don't work my program, I am often in online meetings, f2f, and do my daily readings, but have a really hard time sharing sometimes. Well, right now I really need some support, as I just came back from a week long business trip to Cal...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I want to call him so bad, I want him to know how much he hurt me, but I want to know he's not angry with me. What is wrong with me!! I'm shaking, crying, my stomach hurts. There is absolutely nothing positive to go back to him for but I need to hear his voice :(

Cashey100 · Cashey100

Hi... I posted earlier that I got blasted from my folks for losing my wallet. I appreciated all your support! Those of you who said that I shouldn't be giving my parents stuff to worry about-- you're right. I will try to stick to this and watch my speech around them. The way it goes is that anything tha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

To update everyone, the new friend "M" of the EXABF emailed me today to let me know pretty much that she emailed EXABF last night and told him that she was sorry but wasn't ready to start dating right now and her daughters didn't want her too, and that there was to much drama in his life that she d...

Overcome · Overcome

In todays ODAAT in Al-Anon reading, August 1, it talks about how sometimes we think that by running away from our problems that all could be solved. I know I have tried this approach myself and can attest to the fact that it does not work. When I first married at 19 to an active drinker, I had no idea what alc...

beacheemom · beacheemom

hi all, confused on alot of things right now. Maybe someone has some answers for me as to what is going on with me. I know this is long (most of mine are -lol) a few nights ago, AH came to bed with me for two nights and it was wonderful- yes, he was still drinking, but there was intimacy, a feeling of closeness w...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I hope this is ok to write on here because it helps you focus on yourself. I read this book 20 wishes by Debbie Macomber it was so good. After reading it I started my list. Its making me so happy and i"m doing the things I want and taking time for my self. I have not thought about doing things I want to d...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Old African Proverb: "Advise and counsel him. If he does not listen, Let adversity teach him." Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:45:19 AM -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:47:39 AM

Jozie · Jozie

Been working out some much needed things in my mind & heart these last couple weeks. Haven't been here quite as much as usual, however I know that If I don't get "ME" back on track, I am going to stay "STUCK" and I don't want that... My boy turned 12 yesterday, and after spending...

glad · glad

My sponsor keeps telling me I need to love my A for who he is and accept him as he is. When I ask my boyfriend what it meant that he bought me a $1, 200 gift (that represents alot of money to us) even though he had just said he "wasn't so sure about us", he acts offended and he said" I'm not gonn...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Choices Such a small word but such a life changer. My AH-sober is struggling right now with not being happy in his job.Tonite when we were watching tv he said " I hate my job".This is due to a change in his job that was not of his doing.He has gone from being ok with it to hating it to being ok with it...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I know this is my first weekend without him. But last night I had a hard time, it was like I was going through withdrawals or something, and I wasn't the one who drank. I couldn't sleep, I was hurting all over and shaking. I haven't heard from him and I'm not calling or contacting him, even though the pit of...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), At what age is it appropriate to tell a child about a parent's addiction? Here's what's going on. Yesterday my older niece "Laura" called me to tell me her Dad stole her car while she was with her Mom & younger sister "Lisa" white water rafting. When she call...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF has been sober for 3months and is doing well atending meetings has a sponsor so on. He is working now and paying me some money towards the bills. However I am finding I am becoming resentful. I earn more money than him and we have a nice standard of living. His money he contributes isnt even enog...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after adding the EXABF's new "freind" to MY page, I got to feeling guily and decided to fess up to her. (of course Trish ya had to be on my shoulder didn't ya???) I basically told her that my ex was on her page also, and if that was an issue for her that I understood if she wanted to delete me-...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

As challenging as it was to try to re-integrate with my husband after exiting rehab last week was - it was a walk in the park compared to dealing with the fact that he had an affair with a suicidal alcoholic while there. I found out Monday night and confronted him - I informed her husband and she confirmed...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Hello everyone, my name is Kristi. This is my first time posting on the board. I am just three days out of a relationship with an abusive man who suffers with alcoholism, and right now I'm having a hard time because despite of all the abuse, I miss him. I've been told that's normal, but I don't want to go bac...

Overcome · Overcome

Here it is the last day of July! As I read in ODAAT in Al-Anon for July 31, it suggests that we look back over the month to see what progress we have made in our program and what changes have taken place in our life. I wonder if this is like doing a 10th step or an al-anon group doing an inventory conscience? We...

debilyn · debilyn

Has anyone visited a loved one in prison? Would appreciate your thoughts and esh. For one, I do not do well out of control. Being inside is hard for me. I will not go in a skyscraper. Being locked in, bothers me. I read they search you. So all I am bringing in is me, and my keys. I guess I have to take my piercing...

maresie · maresie

Part of detaching for me is the joy of having manageable achievable goals rather than struggling and feeling I am not achieving much. I could of course be really down as I still live around very dsyfunctional people (detaching really helps there) there is little work to be hard where I am and I am worki...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I wrote yesterday about the peace I felt when I went on vacation. I want to feel this peace all the time in my life. I did not stick to my boundries again. I said he was to leave on July 31. I gave him a month and I did remind him about that date. It came a went, he started to say I could not afford the bill staying in...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up today and made my mind up that I am done being crazy:)! I simply can not spend another day of my life allowing myself to get sucked into other people's insanity and chasing it around on my own when that doesn't happen. Yesterday I went so far as to check EXABF's page again-my thought process was &q...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today and I must say it felt good to know all the crap my ex told me was typical comments. When it came time to share, I cried like a baby explaining what happened and that I was just four days out of this relationship. I still miss his, but its going to get better :(

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

He would prefer to be miserable. I don't know why I never saw it before, why I just realized it now...in the middle of a talk about where things went wrong. I clearly remember him choosing to be unhappy-about everything! I would run myself ragged trying to make things right for him and they never were. He...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs My MIP Family, I'd like to start by thanking Overcoming for chairing last's night Step and Traditions meeting. I would also like to apologize to everyone for popping in, sharing and running off. If you have a second, I'd like to share a little bit about my day yesterday. Baiscally, it w...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I went on vacation 2 times in July and it was awsome with out my AH. But when I came home I could smell the beer and cigs on his breath. He asked Did you miss me. He++ no this last time last weekend I went to his family cottage with his dad and step mom. AH made me feel guilty about going to his familys place. I did...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much....

Christy · Christy

I came upon this old post I wrote about a year and a half ago. With all the new people we've had since then I thought perhaps this portion of it may be of some help. What made me post it today is the way that living with alcoholism can seem to change who we are and rob us of who we once were. Below are some state...

MamaAmy · MamaAmy

Hi, My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this forum doing a google search about DUI stuff. I've been reading through some of the posts and find it oddly comforting that so many people will understand what I too am going through. I've never actually admitted out loud to anyone that my husband is an alcohol...

Tracy · Tracy

One of my f2f meetings ahs voted me in to chair the meetings for next 6 months has anyone got any tips for chairing a good meeting, any ground rules etc

Bezer · Bezer

I just attended my first "Al-Anon meeting last night. All of you were right, the ability to listen to others who have traveled the same path was comforting. There were no lightening bolts, but I am planning to "keep coming back". I surprised myself with my honesty in sharing but ha...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I have decided to attend the Al-Anon retreat today. It will be my first one. I prayed to God to give me the strength to make the right decision and to look after my husband and son while I'm gone. I also got some information yesterday that helped ease my mind about leaving my husband alone with our son,...

blender_girl · blender_girl

After yet another drama session last night, complete with verbal abuse in front of my child, I finally stood up and said "Regardless of what you might think, I AM a human being and do not deserve to be spoken to that way." No yelling, no crying, just simple and matter of fact. This pretty much...

rach04 · rach04

We have a set of mutual friends and im struggling with them learning the concept of detachment. We all went bowling yesterday and the bowling alley is one of ah old hang outs (hes been sober 4 weeks). Well after a bit and i could see it coming he got agitate and asked me for the house keys so i gave them to him....

beacheemom · beacheemom

Hi all, hope everyone is finding the strength and happiness they deserve! Right now I feel like I am in a different place than where I was, in a way. Husband and I are now sleeping in the same bed ( we werent because of newborn and kids) it had been years since we had slept in the same bed. So- for the past 3 ni...

danz123 · danz123

Due to my vacation and Edna's puter problems we are postponing the August business meeting. It will be held Sunday August 9th 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Thanks. hugs, danz

isaiah5336 · isaiah5336

Sooooooo...... If my W (possibly my AW) drinks every day, actually by that I mean every night, almost without fail. She drinks at least 1 bottle of wine a night on weeknights, sometimes more, no matter what time she(we) get home in the evening, and usually more than a bottle on weekend nights. I have...

xter · xter

remember how posted that i asked for a separation and that he was going to move out? yeah, he hasn't moved out yet. hasn't even come up with a plan for what he would do, where he would stay. and at first, he was all nice, and sweet and i FOOLISHLY thought, "well... maybe...? maybe all i needed to say w...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am determined to get out of this slump and get it together........that lasted until I got to work at 8am. I decided to quit dating a guy, who I have been dating for the past couple of months. G and I have known one another for 10 years and have been buds forever-dating was new, but I felt he was wa...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Yesterday, my husband had to report to the court system for a pre-trial monitoring appointment (he is scheduled to appear to court on Aug. 20 for his DUI). He called me from there and informed me that (according to the courts) he isn't supposed to be drinking, but that he did have a few beers earlier in th...

Suzannah · Suzannah

PRICELESS, Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement in response to my post "Struggling." I awoke this morning and the first thing I felt I had to do was go and thank God for this day and another chance to continue walking this path to holistic recovery. I was blessed by finding my re...

sterling7 · sterling7

Hi everyone, I am relatively new to Al-Anon and MIP. I have been to five f2f meetings and a handful of online MIP meetings. I have also read a lot of the posts here on the message boards and find them extremely helpful. So although I am a bit shy about sharing for the first time, I want to give back by begin...

Inpain · Inpain

I need some opinions here because I've been given conflicting information and I suspect there is a reason but here it goes... My AH cheated on me. It was a horrible situation. He was drunk. He was kicked out and did all the begging to come home. I didn't want him back. We discussed that because this w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A good page in C2C, my humor, and potential disaster was diverted (Preview) Hi all,I saw once again how working your program can really scare your A and just had to share. My addict husband went over to the neighbors Sunday night and came back and said he was going to walk up the little convenience store and buy the neighbor a beer for his birthday. I said ok and went about my busine...	Mandy123	5	639	Aug 5, 2009 by canadianguy
	A fantastic read (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html	Aloha	8	785	Aug 5, 2009 by Inpain
	Oops - skipped a page (Preview) Long after reading ODAT and C2C today, I realized that I had read the wrong date. Apparently, the error occurred yesterday when I skipped August 3 and went right to August 4. This may seem like a minor problem to most, but for me, it has me confused. Should I read August 3's reading tomorrow and then be...	N8SMOM	3	380	Aug 5, 2009 by teddybearpoet
	How do you deal with lie after lie after lie (Preview) My husband has been inactive for only 18 days for the first time in 35 years. I have only known him 10 years and during this time he has never gone any longer than 3 days without drinking. I realize now that the withdrawl symptoms were too much for him to bare so he went right back to it. He finally admitted h...	malady	18	2730	Aug 4, 2009 by Princess8899
	I don't want to just wait till my wife hits bottom (Preview) Is there NOTHING I can do? We've been separated for almost 11 months now but still communicate daily and see each other once or twice a week. I am now 5 and a half months sober. She knows she has a problem but is prejudiced against A.A. because she thinks she already knows everything about it (her dad is a...	FlyingSquirrel	11	965	Aug 4, 2009 by FlyingSquirrel
	what usually happens when A loves you, just can't show you (Preview) When an A stops drinking, are they able to express their love for you better, or does that get worse? He thinks he is, even though I've expressed to him what I need from him, things dont change. You all know the dilemma on our sleeping situation, I've made several posts lately, and he emailed me and said it...	beacheemom	10	746	Aug 4, 2009 by glad lee
	If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes... (Preview) I remember the first time I read that I thought WOW! How can so few words hold soooo much insight. I remember coming here and being told if I didn't like the way I was feeling to try doing the opposite of what I had been doing and again thought WOW....pretty insightful. Today I am at a wall.......and I eithe...	shellyj123	5	816	Aug 4, 2009 by Inpain
	I did it again.... (Preview) Same old scenario with me and my sister. She gets drunk and I get worried and want to take care of her. She has two addictions alcohol and gambling. I don't even know how she's going to pay her rent. Oh and yes I had to drive over there(45 minutes) to see if she was alright and take her to lunch so that she...	katiecat	6	705	Aug 4, 2009 by Inpain
	update on the unvisit to prison (Preview) I got up at five thirty, drove all the way there with no pain pills. Was all in a dress, did everything I could to my girl body to look ok. Everyone has to fill out an app. to visit someone in prison. Mine should have been done. Guess what, they screwed up. Typical eh? Administration is a joke. So I waited as th...	debilyn	5	491	Aug 4, 2009 by debilyn
	Dumb me :( (Preview) I text him and said "I hope to God that you are getting help - spare me with a violent response - goodbye". Now I feel bad and set myself up for the fact that he won't respond. I guess I'm just angry because everyone got to say what they needed to say but me. He said his peace, my family said what they...	kristielaine	12	686	Aug 4, 2009 by Aloha
	This program works! (Preview) I have made peace--sorta--with everything I'm gonna tell you. Right now I'm still processing through the feelings. But I'm alive, sober, living in the solution, and it's all b/c of y'all. After I lost the job in KS, there was 1 more interview I had: Baylor University, Waco, TX. After a 10 minute interv...	Tiger2006	6	615	Aug 4, 2009 by maresie
	Separating from my A (Preview) After 15 years together, my A and I have separated. His drinking didn't become a problem until the last 4 years, during which time he's logged a total of 120 days inpatient treatment (28 days program, then later, a 90-day transitional living program). He also went to 3 different outpatient treatme...	HG	4	731	Aug 4, 2009 by maresie
	Letter to the Editor... (Preview) I'm grieving. One of our local 15 year old female died of apparent alcohol poisoning. I wanna scream and throw a tantrum!!!! I'll end up outside doing a chant to HP. HP knows. HP hears me. I don't need further proof. This is a grievable offense and so that is what happens with me. I've worked with t...	Jerry F	14	528	Aug 4, 2009 by barisax
	Newness... (Preview) Welperz... Yesterday was the start of my Son's Practice for Soccer, and My SIL & I desided to make a go of it, and while they practiced we would "Walk" for a Healthier US... She too is in Al-anon Program... Well honestly I looked forward to it all day... We walked to her Aunts to find out wh...	Jozie	1	535	Aug 4, 2009 by Tracy
	Looking back without staring (Preview) Well it's 11:40 p.m. I guess it's still officially August 3, so I can share on what the C2C reading on Aug. 3th meant to me. I must start with the beginning sentence, "There was a time in my life when I furiously insisted that alcoholism did not exist in my family." I remember being at a Thanksgi...	Overcome	2	734	Aug 4, 2009 by maresie
	I'm so sad and mad (Preview) A-bf has been in hospital x 4 weeks now... 2-weeks in ICU and 2-weeks on a floor. He had had so much alcohol and pain-killers in his body that his liver and kidneys shut down. He then went into heart failure; had pneumonia and 2 other infections. Has needed transfusions and dialysis. He is still very w...	ESH	5	865	Aug 3, 2009 by ESH
	Control can be a funny thing... (Preview) No really. I've been recognizing when and how my life has been controlled and how I control. My AH-sober-dry drunk (not b/c he wants to but because he wants to stay with his family) decided after watching a reality show on baking cakes, that he wanted to bake one. I had to secrety laugh to myself but to...	Inpain	5	619	Aug 3, 2009 by penelope
	Disappointed and exhausted (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't really ever post on the board but that doesn't mean I don't work my program, I am often in online meetings, f2f, and do my daily readings, but have a really hard time sharing sometimes. Well, right now I really need some support, as I just came back from a week long business trip to Cal...	newbelief	4	907	Aug 3, 2009 by newbelief
	Someone stop me please! (Preview) I want to call him so bad, I want him to know how much he hurt me, but I want to know he's not angry with me. What is wrong with me!! I'm shaking, crying, my stomach hurts. There is absolutely nothing positive to go back to him for but I need to hear his voice :(	kristielaine	10	731	Aug 3, 2009 by kristielaine
	Wallet and dysfunctional family update (Preview) Hi... I posted earlier that I got blasted from my folks for losing my wallet. I appreciated all your support! Those of you who said that I shouldn't be giving my parents stuff to worry about-- you're right. I will try to stick to this and watch my speech around them. The way it goes is that anything tha...	Cashey100	2	611	Aug 3, 2009 by Cashey100
	This too shall pass......Holding on and diggin in with all I have.... (Preview) To update everyone, the new friend "M" of the EXABF emailed me today to let me know pretty much that she emailed EXABF last night and told him that she was sorry but wasn't ready to start dating right now and her daughters didn't want her too, and that there was to much drama in his life that she d...	shellyj123	0	504	Aug 3, 2009 by shellyj123
	running away.... (Preview) In todays ODAAT in Al-Anon reading, August 1, it talks about how sometimes we think that by running away from our problems that all could be solved. I know I have tried this approach myself and can attest to the fact that it does not work. When I first married at 19 to an active drinker, I had no idea what alc...	Overcome	8	590	Aug 3, 2009 by sterling7
	what is going on with me? confused, please help (Preview) hi all, confused on alot of things right now. Maybe someone has some answers for me as to what is going on with me. I know this is long (most of mine are -lol) a few nights ago, AH came to bed with me for two nights and it was wonderful- yes, he was still drinking, but there was intimacy, a feeling of closeness w...	beacheemom	4	537	Aug 3, 2009 by sterling7
	20 Wishes (Preview) I hope this is ok to write on here because it helps you focus on yourself. I read this book 20 wishes by Debbie Macomber it was so good. After reading it I started my list. Its making me so happy and i"m doing the things I want and taking time for my self. I have not thought about doing things I want to d...	peacewithin	1	387	Aug 3, 2009 by debilyn
	Something to ponder.... (Preview) *Old African Proverb: "Advise and counsel him. If he does not listen, Let adversity teach him." Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty* -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:45:19 AM -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:47:39 AM	Karilynn	2	532	Aug 3, 2009 by shellyj123
	Time for Me :) (Preview) Been working out some much needed things in my mind & heart these last couple weeks. Haven't been here quite as much as usual, however I know that If I don't get "ME" back on track, I am going to stay "STUCK" and I don't want that... My boy turned 12 yesterday, and after spending...	Jozie	3	623	Aug 3, 2009 by shellyj123
	Acceptance of the unacceptable (Preview) My sponsor keeps telling me I need to love my A for who he is and accept him as he is. When I ask my boyfriend what it meant that he bought me a $1, 200 gift (that represents alot of money to us) even though he had just said he "wasn't so sure about us", he acts offended and he said" I'm not gonn...	glad	4	512	Aug 3, 2009 by katiecat
	CHOICES (Preview) Choices Such a small word but such a life changer. My AH-sober is struggling right now with not being happy in his job.Tonite when we were watching tv he said " I hate my job".This is due to a change in his job that was not of his doing.He has gone from being ok with it to hating it to being ok with it...	drucilla06	3	547	Aug 3, 2009 by katiecat
	Why am I feeling this way? (Preview) I know this is my first weekend without him. But last night I had a hard time, it was like I was going through withdrawals or something, and I wasn't the one who drank. I couldn't sleep, I was hurting all over and shaking. I haven't heard from him and I'm not calling or contacting him, even though the pit of...	kristielaine	6	592	Aug 3, 2009 by kristielaine
	At what age??? (Preview) (((Family))), At what age is it appropriate to tell a child about a parent's addiction? Here's what's going on. Yesterday my older niece "Laura" called me to tell me her Dad stole her car while she was with her Mom & younger sister "Lisa" white water rafting. When she call...	Karilynn	8	477	Aug 3, 2009 by abbyal
	responsibility (Preview) My ABF has been sober for 3months and is doing well atending meetings has a sponsor so on. He is working now and paying me some money towards the bills. However I am finding I am becoming resentful. I earn more money than him and we have a nice standard of living. His money he contributes isnt even enog...	Tracy	4	398	Aug 3, 2009 by sterling7
	Insanity at it's finest.........all over again. (Preview) Well after adding the EXABF's new "freind" to MY page, I got to feeling guily and decided to fess up to her. (of course Trish ya had to be on my shoulder didn't ya???) I basically told her that my ex was on her page also, and if that was an issue for her that I understood if she wanted to delete me-...	shellyj123	3	735	Aug 2, 2009 by sterling7
	Had affair when he was in rehab.....insanity is creeping in. (Preview) As challenging as it was to try to re-integrate with my husband after exiting rehab last week was - it was a walk in the park compared to dealing with the fact that he had an affair with a suicidal alcoholic while there. I found out Monday night and confronted him - I informed her husband and she confirmed...	Maine Girl	9	2382	Aug 2, 2009 by Maine Girl
	Just days out of abusive relationship (Preview) Hello everyone, my name is Kristi. This is my first time posting on the board. I am just three days out of a relationship with an abusive man who suffers with alcoholism, and right now I'm having a hard time because despite of all the abuse, I miss him. I've been told that's normal, but I don't want to go bac...	kristielaine	11	752	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	Doing the 10th step? (Preview) Here it is the last day of July! As I read in ODAAT in Al-Anon for July 31, it suggests that we look back over the month to see what progress we have made in our program and what changes have taken place in our life. I wonder if this is like doing a 10th step or an al-anon group doing an inventory conscience? We...	Overcome	3	421	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	esh visiting AH in prison, please, afraid (Preview) Has anyone visited a loved one in prison? Would appreciate your thoughts and esh. For one, I do not do well out of control. Being inside is hard for me. I will not go in a skyscraper. Being locked in, bothers me. I read they search you. So all I am bringing in is me, and my keys. I guess I have to take my piercing...	debilyn	8	496	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	the benefit of having goals. (Preview) Part of detaching for me is the joy of having manageable achievable goals rather than struggling and feeling I am not achieving much. I could of course be really down as I still live around very dsyfunctional people (detaching really helps there) there is little work to be hard where I am and I am worki...	maresie	3	667	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	Dry for 4 days (Preview) I wrote yesterday about the peace I felt when I went on vacation. I want to feel this peace all the time in my life. I did not stick to my boundries again. I said he was to leave on July 31. I gave him a month and I did remind him about that date. It came a went, he started to say I could not afford the bill staying in...	peacewithin	3	658	Aug 2, 2009 by abbyal
	Comfortably uncomfortable....A new day, a new month, a new me..... (Preview) Woke up today and made my mind up that I am done being crazy:)! I simply can not spend another day of my life allowing myself to get sucked into other people's insanity and chasing it around on my own when that doesn't happen. Yesterday I went so far as to check EXABF's page again-my thought process was &q...	shellyj123	3	733	Aug 2, 2009 by Tracy
	First Al-Anon meeting (Preview) I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today and I must say it felt good to know all the crap my ex told me was typical comments. When it came time to share, I cried like a baby explaining what happened and that I was just four days out of this relationship. I still miss his, but its going to get better :(	kristielaine	2	563	Aug 2, 2009 by Tracy
	Another big AHA moment (Preview) He would prefer to be miserable. I don't know why I never saw it before, why I just realized it now...in the middle of a talk about where things went wrong. I clearly remember him choosing to be unhappy-about everything! I would run myself ragged trying to make things right for him and they never were. He...	RainyJamie	5	716	Aug 2, 2009 by RainyJamie
	Last night's step meeting... (Preview) Hello and Hugs My MIP Family, I'd like to start by thanking Overcoming for chairing last's night Step and Traditions meeting. I would also like to apologize to everyone for popping in, sharing and running off. If you have a second, I'd like to share a little bit about my day yesterday. Baiscally, it w...	Sincerely	2	1165	Aug 2, 2009 by debilyn
	I felt the peace within (Preview) I went on vacation 2 times in July and it was awsome with out my AH. But when I came home I could smell the beer and cigs on his breath. He asked Did you miss me. He++ no this last time last weekend I went to his family cottage with his dad and step mom. AH made me feel guilty about going to his familys place. I did...	peacewithin	3	760	Aug 1, 2009 by nmike
	This is too dumb (Preview) AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much....	RainyJamie	7	746	Aug 1, 2009 by RainyJamie
	A re-post (Preview) I came upon this old post I wrote about a year and a half ago. With all the new people we've had since then I thought perhaps this portion of it may be of some help. What made me post it today is the way that living with alcoholism can seem to change who we are and rob us of who we once were. Below are some state...	Christy	2	739	Aug 1, 2009 by Overcome
	Introducing myself =) first timer here (Preview) Hi, My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this forum doing a google search about DUI stuff. I've been reading through some of the posts and find it oddly comforting that so many people will understand what I too am going through. I've never actually admitted out loud to anyone that my husband is an alcohol...	MamaAmy	7	459	Aug 1, 2009 by abbyal
	chairing meetings (Preview) One of my f2f meetings ahs voted me in to chair the meetings for next 6 months has anyone got any tips for chairing a good meeting, any ground rules etc	Tracy	6	6328	Aug 1, 2009 by Mobirdie
	"A little help from my friends....." (Preview) I just attended my first "Al-Anon meeting last night. All of you were right, the ability to listen to others who have traveled the same path was comforting. There were no lightening bolts, but I am planning to "keep coming back". I surprised myself with my honesty in sharing but ha...	Bezer	7	690	Aug 1, 2009 by Lotus
	I'm going on a retreat (Preview) I have decided to attend the Al-Anon retreat today. It will be my first one. I prayed to God to give me the strength to make the right decision and to look after my husband and son while I'm gone. I also got some information yesterday that helped ease my mind about leaving my husband alone with our son,...	N8SMOM	3	663	Aug 1, 2009 by Suzannah
	Finally Did It (Preview) After yet another drama session last night, complete with verbal abuse in front of my child, I finally stood up and said "Regardless of what you might think, I AM a human being and do not deserve to be spoken to that way." No yelling, no crying, just simple and matter of fact. This pretty much...	blender_girl	10	703	Aug 1, 2009 by RainyJamie
	friends (Preview) We have a set of mutual friends and im struggling with them learning the concept of detachment. We all went bowling yesterday and the bowling alley is one of ah old hang outs (hes been sober 4 weeks). Well after a bit and i could see it coming he got agitate and asked me for the house keys so i gave them to him....	rach04	4	386	Aug 1, 2009 by rach04
	here's how it's going, I guess this is normal? (Preview) Hi all, hope everyone is finding the strength and happiness they deserve! Right now I feel like I am in a different place than where I was, in a way. Husband and I are now sleeping in the same bed ( we werent because of newborn and kids) it had been years since we had slept in the same bed. So- for the past 3 ni...	beacheemom	4	474	Jul 31, 2009 by Aloha
	August business meeting postponed (Preview) Due to my vacation and Edna's puter problems we are postponing the August business meeting. It will be held Sunday August 9th 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Thanks. hugs, danz	danz123	0	380	Jul 31, 2009 by danz123
	How do I know if my AW is really an Active A???????????? (Preview) Sooooooo...... If my W (possibly my AW) drinks every day, actually by that I mean every night, almost without fail. She drinks at least 1 bottle of wine a night on weeknights, sometimes more, no matter what time she(we) get home in the evening, and usually more than a bottle on weekend nights. I have...	isaiah5336	6	679	Jul 31, 2009 by abbyal
	so yeah, not gone yet... (Preview) remember how posted that i asked for a separation and that he was going to move out? yeah, he hasn't moved out yet. hasn't even come up with a plan for what he would do, where he would stay. and at first, he was all nice, and sweet and i FOOLISHLY thought, "well... maybe...? maybe all i needed to say w...	xter	7	679	Jul 31, 2009 by Maine Girl
	The light at the end of the tunnel must be a train:( I give up. (Preview) Woke up this am determined to get out of this slump and get it together........that lasted until I got to work at 8am. I decided to quit dating a guy, who I have been dating for the past couple of months. G and I have known one another for 10 years and have been buds forever-dating was new, but I felt he was wa...	shellyj123	7	453	Jul 31, 2009 by Karilynn
	Doubting Myself (Preview) Yesterday, my husband had to report to the court system for a pre-trial monitoring appointment (he is scheduled to appear to court on Aug. 20 for his DUI). He called me from there and informed me that (according to the courts) he isn't supposed to be drinking, but that he did have a few beers earlier in th...	N8SMOM	10	393	Jul 30, 2009 by sterling7
	The VALUE of friends... (Preview) PRICELESS, Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement in response to my post "Struggling." I awoke this morning and the first thing I felt I had to do was go and thank God for this day and another chance to continue walking this path to holistic recovery. I was blessed by finding my re...	Suzannah	4	265	Jul 30, 2009 by sterling7
	First MIP Share (long) (Preview) Hi everyone, I am relatively new to Al-Anon and MIP. I have been to five f2f meetings and a handful of online MIP meetings. I have also read a lot of the posts here on the message boards and find them extremely helpful. So although I am a bit shy about sharing for the first time, I want to give back by begin...	sterling7	6	546	Jul 30, 2009 by sterling7
	Need opinions (Preview) I need some opinions here because I've been given conflicting information and I suspect there is a reason but here it goes... My AH cheated on me. It was a horrible situation. He was drunk. He was kicked out and did all the begging to come home. I didn't want him back. We discussed that because this w...	Inpain	10	756	Jul 30, 2009 by Inpain
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.