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Post Info TOPIC: So many emotions


Veteran Member

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Posts: 27
Date:
So many emotions


Today is a really hard day. I'm very depressed and scared. I woke up crying because I feel so used and violated. I can hardly cope here at work.

I just can't understand how someone can be such a horrible human being to treat anyone the way I was treated and have no remorse.

I'm also depressed because I allowed it to happen. I wish I could turn back the clock to four months ago and never hooked up with this guy at all disbelief

I feel like he's left me with nothing and has gone on with his life without an ounce of punishment. cry disbelief

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Member

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Posts: 15
Date:

Kristielaine,
Good morning,
First of all remember that none of this is your fault.
Second of all we in alanon have to learn to not take what they say personal
i know this is hard took me a while to get this....
A live and thrive in conflict so that they can continue on their journey of denial
They create a crisis so that we can argue with them... we make them sad or angry so they have an excuse now...
I don't know if you are with him or not Try to let go and let god give this to him
and this to shall pass
Linbol

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linbol


Member

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Date:

And i also do believe in the karma bus .. He will reap what he sows.
May not be meant for you to see.
And the best thing you can do for your self is live a great life ......

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linbol


~*Service Worker*~

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LOL! The Karma bus is sooo un-alanon but the idea sure did get me thru times of overwhelming anger!!!

It helped me lighten up!! *honk honk*

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Veteran Member

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Posts: 27
Date:

linbol wrote:

Kristielaine,
Good morning,
First of all remember that none of this is your fault.
Second of all we in alanon have to learn to not take what they say personal
i know this is hard took me a while to get this....
A live and thrive in conflict so that they can continue on their journey of denial
They create a crisis so that we can argue with them... we make them sad or angry so they have an excuse now...
I don't know if you are with him or not Try to let go and let god give this to him
and this to shall pass
Linbol





Thanks linbol

I'm just really so exhausted, and suffering with Chronic Fatigue just makes it ten times worse.

I'm no longer with him because he cut me off because I told a friend of his that he slapped me and I haven't heard a word from him

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 654
Date:

(((((Kristie)))))
Nine months ago I felt EXACTLY like you do right now. I was angry, depressed and sad.  I was angrier at myself for letting this man get close to my son and hurt him in ways I never would have thought possible to treat a child......(who snubs a child after pretending to be devoted to him for a year?)  I felt betrayed in the worst way....Some days I still do-but those days are fewer and farther between now.

I am learning daily, by coming here, going to meetings and participating in the AlAnon program, that I am a good, decent human being and I have the right to be happy, sad etc., as do you.

What you are feeling now SUCKS!  There is no magic cure, no secret trick to get over it quicker.  It takes time, but it will happen and there will come a day that he won't be the first thought you think of in the morning and the last thought you think of at night.  When I was where you are I literally felt like I was dying inside SLOWLY and I just wanted it to be over.  It takes time.  I found the love and support I needed here and in the rooms of AlAnon.
Please keep coming back.......It truly does work if you work it, and we think you are worth it:)!!
Love and peace
shelly

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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.



Veteran Member

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Posts: 41
Date:

Sound like your in good company here. Hang in there...my experince with my A...she uses the excuse as she doesn't remember and once when I asked her why she left me such a horrible message was because she was in a bad mood and I guess I was the one she picked to take it out on....that really stuck with me for awhile....I had been trying to help her?? But I"m new also and starting to learn

Hugs, Katiecat

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 4578
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I think its pretty hard to see them as "ill".  I know the ex A did some very very vindicative things to me.  I also know I deal with dysfunctional people and alcoholics daily and I find it pretty stressful.  Nevertheless I do see them as "ill" rather than malicious.

I also have had to set tremendous boundaries in order to protect myself.  I also work daily on finding ways to distance myself from their chaos.

Maresie.

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maresie
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