Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ash · Ash

I simply don't get it. Why does someone else's martyrdom make me soooo angry. First I want to at least give myself a pat on the back for at least recognizing the insanity - which took reassurance from my sponsor. But why do i bother letting it get to me. My AH lost his license due to DUI. After a few weeks of...

Rora · Rora

As some of you may know, I don't always find myself to be working the program well. Lots of times I feel like I am off track. There are times when I feel great sadness, anger and fear of my situation, which I have to intentionally work through, in order to resurface with a better attitude. I was paid the mo...

John · John

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Hi all-- This is my first post! I have been lurking here for several months and have been attending f2f meetings for 2 months now. My alcoholic husband is sober 2 months too, following a 5 day stay in detox and a successfully completed IOP. I am struggling so much these days with trying to control him and h...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Well, I got through the day ok. Did alot for myself. Worked on some projects along with school work. But all the while, in the very back of my mind, I couldn't help but think that today is my exbf's birthday. It was difficult to let this day go by without sending him a card, an email or making a call. Bu...

lacewing · lacewing

Hello all, Just wanted to let everyone know that Java seems to still be not responding. I have an option for anyone if they are a little computer savvy...it is another IRC chat program. I downloaded it quite awhile ago before I started using MIRC. It seems to be quite user friendly and easy to set up. ...

wp · wp

Please oh please Mr. Java , get your act together ? wp

bubbles1990 · bubbles1990

Well, here I am in the glass box that I started out in 6 years ago when I first started Al anon!! I could see out but no one could see in!! I was in there alone dealing with my sickness feeling as thou I had no hope for survival But then I was introduced to Ala non by my mother in law who has been in the program for so...

Jeanann · Jeanann

Hi everyone...sure wish I could get into the meeting. I have been under alot of stress and my blood pressure is extremely low. This I am reading can cause anxiety, depression, and other ailments. I am very concerned and I have apt with doc on Wednesday. I went to the health food store and got some nat...

Christy · Christy

you cannot tailor make your situation in life, but you can tailor make your attitudes to fit those situations. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar said that, andhe was profoundly right. How you shape your attitude is nota small part of how you shape your life..it is the only part. Christy

EminMT · EminMT

My partner and I of a year and a half have a wonderful relationship. Now we do. The first year was ROUGH but for six months he has been sober! Since he has stopped drinking I have grown to know this AMAZING man who has will power beyond comprehension. His heart is golden and when I think back to the person he U...

Overcome · Overcome

Tomorrow morning I am getting my divorce from alcoholic husband. I have very many mixed feelings about this; sadness, relief, anger, justification, ambievalence, fear, apathy, a virtual cornacopia of emotions. I think my biggest struggle right now is with fear. Walking into that courtroom with...

lacewing · lacewing

Monday Night - August 24th Just wanted to let everyone know that Connecting to the chat room or trying to come to the message board by way of the Home page...through JAVA - is not working. Seems as though no one can get into the chat or message board...all day long. If you have been trying to get in...ke...

Aloha · Aloha

In October, I'm going to be flying to Kauai for our Hawaii Al-Anon fall assembly. Neither my AH nor I have been to Kauai yet, so I thought it would maybe be fun to take a couple extra days padded around the fall assembly weekend to spend visiting the island with my AH. He was excited to go and made plans to joi...

Bella333 · Bella333

Hello. I have been going to Alanon face to face meetings about three times per week since January 2009. I looked forward to meetings, shared fairly often, read a lot of literature, found a sponsor and started to talk with a woman from the group fairly often. Unfortunately I have not enjoyed going to me...

LuLu73 · LuLu73

My daughter recently had her first baby so my 7 yr old and I went to visit for the summer. We were gone for 2 months. My alcoholic husband knew that this time was going to be used to evaluate where our marriage/relationship was going. He stayed drunk. He did take one big step and admitted to his supervi...

ljluvskc · ljluvskc

Good evening everyone... I have been a lurker here and read so many stories. You all inspire me to believe that there is a road to recovery out there, all we need to do to find it is put one foot on it, and give the rest to God. My ABF is what I would call a 'functioning' alcoholic. He is financially responsibl...

TF · TF

Hi this is my first time posting on this site. My ah and i have been married for almost 11 years, 1 year 5 months of it he has been sober. Although he is not actively working the program he attends therapy once a week and has been since he came home from rehab last year. things have gotten better but he sees...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The guy I have been dating the past 5 weeks and I had plans to take my son and his kids to the state park Sat for our first "day trip". I was all excited and looking forward to my day off after a LONG hard week, and spending time with everyone. I normally like to leave early when I plan a day trip, bu...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am finally feeling like me again instead of an us missing one and being miserable all the time. I'm at the point now where I think he can't have me back even if he wanted me. I was too good for him. Sure took a while for self respect to kick in though. It has taken several weeks for me to get to the point tha...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Hi All, It's been a while since I posted. I try but nothing will come out that makes sense! So I end up deleting a page of dribble after writing it for hours. Even at f2f meetings I can't string two words together that make sense to me or anyone else. I am in a "zombie zone" or something. W...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Hi all, Little by little I am gaining understanding of what happened with my A ex-bf. I no longer feel the guilt for breaking up with him. I no longer accept his words of blame. And although I still miss him, I feel the progress of peace and healing. I do, however, relive some of the moments over the last...

maresie · maresie

I still live life on such a survival thread. A check I am due is lost and it will take probably about 2 weeks to catch up. I'm devastated. I don't see it as a lesson learning to live on less. I am full of frustration, anger and impotence. There is no way I am not going to get the check but I can't see any goo...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

I know that I am supposed to keep the focus on myself and that I have to let go of things that I cannot control...but I am so terribly terribly stuck... I don't understand myself ...or what is happening....and I don't want to keep doing this and I don't want this pain to go on anymore. I am trying to work my pr...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Very recently I had to push away my HFA boyfriend - the man I love more than anything in this world - because of his drinking problem. Although I feel the path this addiction is taking him down is tragic and it breaks my heart, his behavior was unacceptable to me and I broke up with him in the middle of our va...

lavash · lavash

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I've been here once before really quickly to just read but after another "dysfunctional" episode with my BF last Sunday, I returned to this site and signed up I don't even know where to begin telling my story, but I can say that from reading non stop here...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

I hate that D~ is my last thought before falling asleep and the first thought as I wake up. I don't want it to be that way and it's frustrating. When will it just go away?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Literally drug myself, covered in sweat and bug spray (from Soccer practice) to my F2F meeting tonight. It took everything I had to get there because honestly, all I wanted to do was come home from practice and sleep. I prayed on the way there for HP to speak to me through that room and those people. I pr...

maresie · maresie

The good thing is that I am now 3 sizes down and still shrinking. The bad things are where I am living, how I am living, isolation and lots of balls up in the air. I never could manage life with good and bad. Now I am having to and don't have much experience of being sucessful at it. Maresie.

Inpain · Inpain

of mysef. I had a mini setback. My AH-dry drunk didn't go to AA last night. He had opportunity everywhere and didn't take it. He waited and waited for a friend to go with whom couldn't go, and when that person fell through, he used it as an excuse and bailed. There were several meetings he could have g...

ashleymarie · ashleymarie

First off I want to start by saying how grateful I am for this board and all the help I have gotten from Alanon as a whole. My problem is very difficult for me .... maybe even more difficult that the drinking. My husband has been sober for 20 months. I started alanon before he went to rehab so we pretty much...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

he's been in a foul mood for a while but not taking his inventory, just ducking to miss the shards coming by way. Now, I'm glad I'm not there with him! Do I really want that? Altho, I miss him so much, just not this side of him. i'm going to a meeting this weekend... accepting the things I cannot cha...

LittleGermany · LittleGermany

Hello everyone, I am an eighteen year old female. I have a father who seems like he never stops drinking. To make things worse, my parents always fight about it, and my grandmother (his mother) makes up excuses for him. I heard her say once, "he's not drunk, he's just tired". It made me wonder...

Jozie · Jozie

After some "board Poke'n" and reading around, I have realized that i am missing out on wonderful things, I am missing out on others growth, and friends sharing amungst themselves, moving forward, keeping it real... I have finally realized my problem is ME!!! (Ok I'm sure You All knew that...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am, after yet another long and crazy busy day, feeling like I hadn't even been to bed. Physically I feel completely beat down and so drained I can barely go forward, but today, mentally, I feel like I might just be ok. Tonight, I am going to do my very best to get to a meeting.....some of the ins...

Rita G · Rita G

So it's an entirely different life for me now. My world has been changed so much. It will soon be a year that I left that beautiful home that I worked so hard for - the one that I prayed for, ached for and waited so patiently for after Hurricane Rita. Many of you gave so much support to me, in 2006 as we went thr...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

In January, after a very crazy making break up with EXABF, I reached a point of acceptance. EXABF decided after what I thought was us trying to work things out one day, to the VERY NEXT DAY, to move on and we were over and he needed to date others. I was hurt, of course, I had been lead to believe we were tr...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), After reading John's post it got me to thinking about the uniqueness & beauty of MIP. When I first came here I was scared to death. I didn't know how to deal with my A. I had tried some local face to face meetings, but they weren't working for me. Maybe I wasn't ready for the structure...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

For those of you that have a well used, highlighted and underlined ODAT or CTC try this. Take out a legal pad and starting at the front of the book write down those things that you have highlighted or underlined. You will be amazed that when you finish you not only have a new reader, have touched base with...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I am approved for the apartment I have been trying all month to get!!!! Very happy day for me! It's not just my own place, but it lets me know that I can make it with out my A. I will be okay and not be around a ton of drunks!! Thanks everyone for all your ESH you have given me!!

AnneCognito · AnneCognito

My home page includes, among other things, a daily horoscope. Given that I'm just starting on my self-evaluation (and all the "roller coaster" emotions that come along with it), I had to kind of chuckle at this (keep in mind that I work in IT and use analogies daily when dealing with custom...

suzip · suzip

I havent posted anything since last Oct. here, had alot of things going on. Hard to believe that this time last year I was worried about how I could support my family with my part time job when my ah went to jail for 6 months for his 3rd dui. How nice to have to only worry about money and not drama from my ah! It...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

No matter how hard I try, I cannot ignore the crazy, little thoughts running around in my head. Yesterday I had anxiety and it's back again today. The reason for it? My husband has court tomorrow for his DUI. He has asked me to go with him, and I'm somewhat glad to be going so I can hear for myself what's...

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

A few weeks ago I wrote out 15 things I am powerless over. At the time, I had to reach for 15 things, and also at the time, I was in an insecure place in my head and heart-- trying hard to figureout where my insecurities came from, I looked a lot to my past. TOday I realize that in a very real way, the only thing I a...

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Here goes 15 things I am powerless over and 15 ways my life is unmanagable... Geesh! That hardly sounds inspiring. DO I really have 15 of each? Yikes! I am in Alanon for a reason. I'll come up with something, I can do this work.. OK-- I am powerless over the icky parts of my childhood. The creepy old men, my b...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Just want to share this. As some of you know I have been struggling for a long while now with the ending of my relationship and my codependancy issues. Its been so very painful and at times I could of gladly given up on myself and everything. There where many times that I felt completly lost an...

maresie · maresie

Right now my life has ramped up with appointments, commitments and goals. I have to remind myself to take one day at a t ime and pace myself. My downfall has always been doing too much, resenting it and then getting sick. I really try hard to catch the everyday resentments as they come up and discard the...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Whew! Since my last post, I spoke with my sponsor, got my butt thoroughly kicked, finally woke up to the fact that I was trying to control the outcome. After a couple of days of beating myself up, I got my sorry self to a f2f meeting as well as several online meetings and finally got back on track. It al...

Inpain · Inpain

Prayers...good vibes...whatever you can...!! My dry drunk has said he's going to a meeting tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I know I shouldn't get excited, but I want SOME HOPE. We had an intense counseling session yesterday with our addictions counselor/MC and for a while I really felt lik...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, am going through a particularly difficult time right now, ex- a let me down today at a school meeting in relation to our son, he did not turn up though he had assured me he would be there, my job contract has be terminated without cause because apparently I have too many rights if allowed to teach...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Okay not sure if I really need ESH maybe I just need to vent a bit. Lot's been going on since I last posted. I am doing pretty good for the most part. I start school on Monday! Book is still packed away no clue where tried to find it, but I've already take the first 4 weeks of this class ..and it's not till next we...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have a husband of 20 years and he has battled alcoholism for 9 years of our marriage. I am living a roller coaster of emotions. I am a menopausal woman, certainly not young anymore, but youthful and active. The thought of divorce at my age is something that I never thought possible for us, but latel...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Hello all - It's been awhile since I posted on this forum but, I am ready to share. I've been stuck for a few months now. I'm becoming more aware of my toxic shame and how it permeates every corner of my being and daily life. I operate and navigate the world from this place of inadequacy - behaving in so many s...

MooglesPunk · MooglesPunk

Overall my jealousy/insecurities have gotten alot better over the years, but today it once again reared it's ugly head over the dumbest thing. My partner, who I completely trust and have confidence in, changed her facebook profile pic from the two of us to just her for the first time since I got back fr...

MooglesPunk · MooglesPunk

Hello everyone, this is very new for me. I am a 25 year old male from Australia and I have just started to practice the road to my own recovery. My parents have tried for many years to get me to go to Al-anon. I finally attended on the weekend, and the rush of emotions I felt at the end of the day when I talked to m...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had an amazing relationship with an amazing guy and one day it was just gone. It still hurts but less and less every day thank god. One thing I can say is that this has really brought out areas in me that I need to work on and be diligent about watching and not sliding into old routines. Every character f...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My exAH had moved to CA from SC to be with an exgf. Called me yesterday to tell me he loves me and misses me... Come to find out last night he's been kicked out and is basically on the street there and doesn't know what to do. He's using again, drinking again and the move has been very bad for him but he loves...

queenie88 · queenie88

i still haven't been able to forgive myself for what i did in my relationship with xabf. 1) he was still logged on to his email account. i looked at an email exchange between him and his ex. i lied to him about it, then confessed the truth three days later. 2) after one of his binge nights during which i felt v...

Rora · Rora

As some of you may know, my aH and I have been separated since last Oct. I always hoped that we'd each get better and we'd be able to reconcile and live happily ever after. And, as I stay connected with my reality, the chance of that happening seems less and less. I was thinking about how I ended up here in t...

AnneCognito · AnneCognito

Hello, everyone - As the subject line says, I'm a newbie here. I've been dating a guy that's 2 years sober (I apologize for not having all the acronyms down yet, feel free to enlighten me). He's actively working the program, and has been as long as I've known him (about a year and a half). He's a very soci...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	His Martyrdom, My Anger (Preview) I simply don't get it. Why does someone else's martyrdom make me soooo angry. First I want to at least give myself a pat on the back for at least recognizing the insanity - which took reassurance from my sponsor. But why do i bother letting it get to me. My AH lost his license due to DUI. After a few weeks of...	Ash	3	570	Aug 27, 2009 by Loupiness
	At a f2f mtg last night... (Preview) As some of you may know, I don't always find myself to be working the program well. Lots of times I feel like I am off track. There are times when I feel great sadness, anger and fear of my situation, which I have to intentionally work through, in order to resurface with a better attitude. I was paid the mo...	Rora	2	549	Aug 26, 2009 by LG
	Just a test drive - Whats your thoughts? (Preview)	John	11	683	Aug 26, 2009 by Rita G
	Struggling with control.... (Preview) Hi all-- This is my first post! I have been lurking here for several months and have been attending f2f meetings for 2 months now. My alcoholic husband is sober 2 months too, following a 5 day stay in detox and a successfully completed IOP. I am struggling so much these days with trying to control him and h...	3littlekittens	2	544	Aug 26, 2009 by canadianguy
	So.....today is his birthday.... (Preview) Well, I got through the day ok. Did alot for myself. Worked on some projects along with school work. But all the while, in the very back of my mind, I couldn't help but think that today is my exbf's birthday. It was difficult to let this day go by without sending him a card, an email or making a call. Bu...	Hawk120025	2	371	Aug 26, 2009 by Loupiness
	Java still down...but here is an option that might work to get into our chat (Preview) Hello all, Just wanted to let everyone know that Java seems to still be not responding. I have an option for anyone if they are a little computer savvy...it is another IRC chat program. I downloaded it quite awhile ago before I started using MIRC. It seems to be quite user friendly and easy to set up. ...	lacewing	1	481	Aug 26, 2009 by kitty
	JAVA is tormenting me (Preview) Please oh please Mr. Java , get your act together ? wp	wp	3	405	Aug 26, 2009 by belle1
	Am Back .... And starting all over again..... (Preview) Well, here I am in the glass box that I started out in 6 years ago when I first started Al anon!! I could see out but no one could see in!! I was in there alone dealing with my sickness feeling as thou I had no hope for survival But then I was introduced to Ala non by my mother in law who has been in the program for so...	bubbles1990	6	503	Aug 25, 2009 by shadow1
	Learning lots about me and the meeting room is unavailable11111 (Preview) Hi everyone...sure wish I could get into the meeting. I have been under alot of stress and my blood pressure is extremely low. This I am reading can cause anxiety, depression, and other ailments. I am very concerned and I have apt with doc on Wednesday. I went to the health food store and got some nat...	Jeanann	3	423	Aug 25, 2009 by wp
	Attitude (Preview) you cannot tailor make your situation in life, but you can tailor make your attitudes to fit those situations. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar said that, andhe was profoundly right. How you shape your attitude is nota small part of how you shape your life..it is the only part. Christy	Christy	7	501	Aug 25, 2009 by Aloha
	What is it like for the sobering up alcoholic? Any advice appreciated! libido intimacy boyfriend (Preview) My partner and I of a year and a half have a wonderful relationship. Now we do. The first year was ROUGH but for six months he has been sober! Since he has stopped drinking I have grown to know this AMAZING man who has will power beyond comprehension. His heart is golden and when I think back to the person he U...	EminMT	4	6272	Aug 25, 2009 by redfred
	Tomorrow is D day. (Preview) Tomorrow morning I am getting my divorce from alcoholic husband. I have very many mixed feelings about this; sadness, relief, anger, justification, ambievalence, fear, apathy, a virtual cornacopia of emotions. I think my biggest struggle right now is with fear. Walking into that courtroom with...	Overcome	3	444	Aug 25, 2009 by redfred
	Java is not responding... (Preview) Monday Night - August 24th Just wanted to let everyone know that Connecting to the chat room or trying to come to the message board by way of the Home page...through JAVA - is not working. Seems as though no one can get into the chat or message board...all day long. If you have been trying to get in...ke...	lacewing	3	547	Aug 25, 2009 by teddybearpoet
	Interesting where the brain tries to shift blame. (Preview) In October, I'm going to be flying to Kauai for our Hawaii Al-Anon fall assembly. Neither my AH nor I have been to Kauai yet, so I thought it would maybe be fun to take a couple extra days padded around the fall assembly weekend to spend visiting the island with my AH. He was excited to go and made plans to joi...	Aloha	2	1960	Aug 25, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Having a hard time going to face to face meetings (Preview) Hello. I have been going to Alanon face to face meetings about three times per week since January 2009. I looked forward to meetings, shared fairly often, read a lot of literature, found a sponsor and started to talk with a woman from the group fairly often. Unfortunately I have not enjoyed going to me...	Bella333	3	460	Aug 25, 2009 by abbyal
	What to do...... (Preview) My daughter recently had her first baby so my 7 yr old and I went to visit for the summer. We were gone for 2 months. My alcoholic husband knew that this time was going to be used to evaluate where our marriage/relationship was going. He stayed drunk. He did take one big step and admitted to his supervi...	LuLu73	7	703	Aug 25, 2009 by LuLu73
	New here and looking for support and hope... (Preview) Good evening everyone... I have been a lurker here and read so many stories. You all inspire me to believe that there is a road to recovery out there, all we need to do to find it is put one foot on it, and give the rest to God. My ABF is what I would call a 'functioning' alcoholic. He is financially responsibl...	ljluvskc	5	487	Aug 24, 2009 by ljluvskc
	New here (Preview) Hi this is my first time posting on this site. My ah and i have been married for almost 11 years, 1 year 5 months of it he has been sober. Although he is not actively working the program he attends therapy once a week and has been since he came home from rehab last year. things have gotten better but he sees...	TF	5	763	Aug 24, 2009 by TF
	Feeling really down~What to do when amends just aren't enough?? ESH needed (Preview) The guy I have been dating the past 5 weeks and I had plans to take my son and his kids to the state park Sat for our first "day trip". I was all excited and looking forward to my day off after a LONG hard week, and spending time with everyone. I normally like to leave early when I plan a day trip, bu...	shellyj123	5	593	Aug 24, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	I think I've turned the corner (Preview) I am finally feeling like me again instead of an us missing one and being miserable all the time. I'm at the point now where I think he can't have me back even if he wanted me. I was too good for him. Sure took a while for self respect to kick in though. It has taken several weeks for me to get to the point tha...	carolinagirl	5	464	Aug 24, 2009 by Hawk120025
	How will I feel tomorrow? (Preview) Hi All, It's been a while since I posted. I try but nothing will come out that makes sense! So I end up deleting a page of dribble after writing it for hours. Even at f2f meetings I can't string two words together that make sense to me or anyone else. I am in a "zombie zone" or something. W...	silver brumby	2	576	Aug 24, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Nightmares (Preview) Hi all, Little by little I am gaining understanding of what happened with my A ex-bf. I no longer feel the guilt for breaking up with him. I no longer accept his words of blame. And although I still miss him, I feel the progress of peace and healing. I do, however, relive some of the moments over the last...	Hawk120025	0	307	Aug 24, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Frustration.... (Preview) I still live life on such a survival thread. A check I am due is lost and it will take probably about 2 weeks to catch up. I'm devastated. I don't see it as a lesson learning to live on less. I am full of frustration, anger and impotence. There is no way I am not going to get the check but I can't see any goo...	maresie	2	565	Aug 23, 2009 by nmike
	Why Can't I Let This Go??? (Preview) I know that I am supposed to keep the focus on myself and that I have to let go of things that I cannot control...but I am so terribly terribly stuck... I don't understand myself ...or what is happening....and I don't want to keep doing this and I don't want this pain to go on anymore. I am trying to work my pr...	Saved By Grace	6	644	Aug 23, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	New to this.....Breakup with my alcoholic boyfriend..... (Preview) Very recently I had to push away my HFA boyfriend - the man I love more than anything in this world - because of his drinking problem. Although I feel the path this addiction is taking him down is tragic and it breaks my heart, his behavior was unacceptable to me and I broke up with him in the middle of our va...	Hawk120025	14	8771	Aug 23, 2009 by EminMT
	I'm new and dealing with a dry drunk (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I've been here once before really quickly to just read but after another "dysfunctional" episode with my BF last Sunday, I returned to this site and signed up I don't even know where to begin telling my story, but I can say that from reading non stop here...	lavash	15	4213	Aug 23, 2009 by EminMT
	I hate that....... (Preview) I hate that D~ is my last thought before falling asleep and the first thought as I wake up. I don't want it to be that way and it's frustrating. When will it just go away?	Hawk120025	6	748	Aug 23, 2009 by Tofy
	Amazed at the clarity HP sent my way tonight (Preview) Literally drug myself, covered in sweat and bug spray (from Soccer practice) to my F2F meeting tonight. It took everything I had to get there because honestly, all I wanted to do was come home from practice and sleep. I prayed on the way there for HP to speak to me through that room and those people. I pr...	shellyj123	1	488	Aug 22, 2009 by kitty
	Good and bad life happens (Preview) The good thing is that I am now 3 sizes down and still shrinking. The bad things are where I am living, how I am living, isolation and lots of balls up in the air. I never could manage life with good and bad. Now I am having to and don't have much experience of being sucessful at it. Maresie.	maresie	4	546	Aug 22, 2009 by Andrea12
	Proud.. (Preview) of mysef. I had a mini setback. My AH-dry drunk didn't go to AA last night. He had opportunity everywhere and didn't take it. He waited and waited for a friend to go with whom couldn't go, and when that person fell through, he used it as an excuse and bailed. There were several meetings he could have g...	Inpain	6	759	Aug 22, 2009 by abbyal
	Confused about boundaries (Preview) First off I want to start by saying how grateful I am for this board and all the help I have gotten from Alanon as a whole. My problem is very difficult for me .... maybe even more difficult that the drinking. My husband has been sober for 20 months. I started alanon before he went to rehab so we pretty much...	ashleymarie	7	871	Aug 22, 2009 by ashleymarie
	The emotional hurt is what it is... (Preview) he's been in a foul mood for a while but not taking his inventory, just ducking to miss the shards coming by way. Now, I'm glad I'm not there with him! Do I really want that? Altho, I miss him so much, just not this side of him. i'm going to a meeting this weekend... accepting the things I cannot cha...	CAM0914	2	463	Aug 21, 2009 by CAM0914
	New to Al-Anon, but familiar with the problems. (Preview) Hello everyone, I am an eighteen year old female. I have a father who seems like he never stops drinking. To make things worse, my parents always fight about it, and my grandmother (his mother) makes up excuses for him. I heard her say once, "he's not drunk, he's just tired". It made me wonder...	LittleGermany	5	475	Aug 21, 2009 by LittleGermany
	"My Life Has Become Unmangable".... (Preview) After some "board Poke'n" and reading around, I have realized that i am missing out on wonderful things, I am missing out on others growth, and friends sharing amungst themselves, moving forward, keeping it real... I have finally realized my problem is ME!!! (Ok I'm sure You All knew that...	Jozie	2	699	Aug 21, 2009 by abbyal
	Turning the car around and heading South (Preview) Woke up this am, after yet another long and crazy busy day, feeling like I hadn't even been to bed. Physically I feel completely beat down and so drained I can barely go forward, but today, mentally, I feel like I might just be ok. Tonight, I am going to do my very best to get to a meeting.....some of the ins...	shellyj123	0	319	Aug 21, 2009 by shellyj123
	Life again (Preview) So it's an entirely different life for me now. My world has been changed so much. It will soon be a year that I left that beautiful home that I worked so hard for - the one that I prayed for, ached for and waited so patiently for after Hurricane Rita. Many of you gave so much support to me, in 2006 as we went thr...	Rita G	10	500	Aug 21, 2009 by DreamsOver
	Seeking my place of serenity again~ESH needed (Preview) In January, after a very crazy making break up with EXABF, I reached a point of acceptance. EXABF decided after what I thought was us trying to work things out one day, to the VERY NEXT DAY, to move on and we were over and he needed to date others. I was hurt, of course, I had been lead to believe we were tr...	shellyj123	5	559	Aug 21, 2009 by Jozie
	The freedom of MIP! (Preview) (((Family))), After reading John's post it got me to thinking about the uniqueness & beauty of MIP. When I first came here I was scared to death. I didn't know how to deal with my A. I had tried some local face to face meetings, but they weren't working for me. Maybe I wasn't ready for the structure...	Karilynn	10	743	Aug 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	Interesting exercise (Preview) For those of you that have a well used, highlighted and underlined ODAT or CTC try this. Take out a legal pad and starting at the front of the book write down those things that you have highlighted or underlined. You will be amazed that when you finish you not only have a new reader, have touched base with...	Mobirdie	3	608	Aug 21, 2009 by Melissa21
	Great day!! (Preview) I am approved for the apartment I have been trying all month to get!!!! Very happy day for me! It's not just my own place, but it lets me know that I can make it with out my A. I will be okay and not be around a ton of drunks!! Thanks everyone for all your ESH you have given me!!	Melissa21	8	506	Aug 21, 2009 by Inpain
	Messages are delivered in interesting ways (Preview) My home page includes, among other things, a daily horoscope. Given that I'm just starting on my self-evaluation (and all the "roller coaster" emotions that come along with it), I had to kind of chuckle at this (keep in mind that I work in IT and use analogies daily when dealing with custom...	AnneCognito	4	641	Aug 21, 2009 by Rora
	Tired of Negativity (Preview) I havent posted anything since last Oct. here, had alot of things going on. Hard to believe that this time last year I was worried about how I could support my family with my part time job when my ah went to jail for 6 months for his 3rd dui. How nice to have to only worry about money and not drama from my ah! It...	suzip	3	1113	Aug 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Somebody stop this ride - I want to get off. (Preview) No matter how hard I try, I cannot ignore the crazy, little thoughts running around in my head. Yesterday I had anxiety and it's back again today. The reason for it? My husband has court tomorrow for his DUI. He has asked me to go with him, and I'm somewhat glad to be going so I can hear for myself what's...	N8SMOM	7	979	Aug 20, 2009 by N8SMOM
	no power-- is it chemical? (Preview) A few weeks ago I wrote out 15 things I am powerless over. At the time, I had to reach for 15 things, and also at the time, I was in an insecure place in my head and heart-- trying hard to figureout where my insecurities came from, I looked a lot to my past. TOday I realize that in a very real way, the only thing I a...	woopsadaisy	4	761	Aug 20, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	15-on what I am powerless over, and what is unmanageable. (Preview) Here goes 15 things I am powerless over and 15 ways my life is unmanagable... Geesh! That hardly sounds inspiring. DO I really have 15 of each? Yikes! I am in Alanon for a reason. I'll come up with something, I can do this work.. OK-- I am powerless over the icky parts of my childhood. The creepy old men, my b...	woopsadaisy	6	14775	Aug 20, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	Something has changed (Preview) Hi (((All))) Just want to share this. As some of you know I have been struggling for a long while now with the ending of my relationship and my codependancy issues. Its been so very painful and at times I could of gladly given up on myself and everything. There where many times that I felt completly lost an...	Mariner	6	682	Aug 20, 2009 by shellyj123
	One day at a time. (Preview) Right now my life has ramped up with appointments, commitments and goals. I have to remind myself to take one day at a t ime and pace myself. My downfall has always been doing too much, resenting it and then getting sick. I really try hard to catch the everyday resentments as they come up and discard the...	maresie	3	795	Aug 20, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Update, Ramblings and Musings (Preview) Whew! Since my last post, I spoke with my sponsor, got my butt thoroughly kicked, finally woke up to the fact that I was trying to control the outcome. After a couple of days of beating myself up, I got my sorry self to a f2f meeting as well as several online meetings and finally got back on track. It al...	blender_girl	2	714	Aug 20, 2009 by Overcome
	Send me something... (Preview) Prayers...good vibes...whatever you can...!! My dry drunk has said he's going to a meeting tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I know I shouldn't get excited, but I want SOME HOPE. We had an intense counseling session yesterday with our addictions counselor/MC and for a while I really felt lik...	Inpain	4	659	Aug 19, 2009 by hotrod
	send on prayers please (Preview) Dear all, am going through a particularly difficult time right now, ex- a let me down today at a school meeting in relation to our son, he did not turn up though he had assured me he would be there, my job contract has be terminated without cause because apparently I have too many rights if allowed to teach...	maire rua	5	562	Aug 19, 2009 by Rita G
	I'm doing pretty darn good!! (Preview) Okay not sure if I really need ESH maybe I just need to vent a bit. Lot's been going on since I last posted. I am doing pretty good for the most part. I start school on Monday! Book is still packed away no clue where tried to find it, but I've already take the first 4 weeks of this class ..and it's not till next we...	Melissa21	4	679	Aug 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	Re-thinking divorce-do wives get alimony? Scared of future. (Preview) I have a husband of 20 years and he has battled alcoholism for 9 years of our marriage. I am living a roller coaster of emotions. I am a menopausal woman, certainly not young anymore, but youthful and active. The thought of divorce at my age is something that I never thought possible for us, but latel...	wifeofalcoholic	6	1461	Aug 19, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Not sure where I am at... (Preview) Hello all - It's been awhile since I posted on this forum but, I am ready to share. I've been stuck for a few months now. I'm becoming more aware of my toxic shame and how it permeates every corner of my being and daily life. I operate and navigate the world from this place of inadequacy - behaving in so many s...	RunnerChick	2	686	Aug 19, 2009 by Mariner
	Jealousy which I know I shouldn't feel! (Preview) Overall my jealousy/insecurities have gotten alot better over the years, but today it once again reared it's ugly head over the dumbest thing. My partner, who I completely trust and have confidence in, changed her facebook profile pic from the two of us to just her for the first time since I got back fr...	MooglesPunk	3	825	Aug 19, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hello everyone, this is very new for me. I am a 25 year old male from Australia and I have just started to practice the road to my own recovery. My parents have tried for many years to get me to go to Al-anon. I finally attended on the weekend, and the rush of emotions I felt at the end of the day when I talked to m...	MooglesPunk	5	624	Aug 19, 2009 by RunnerChick
	The obsession is starting to fade (Preview) I had an amazing relationship with an amazing guy and one day it was just gone. It still hurts but less and less every day thank god. One thing I can say is that this has really brought out areas in me that I need to work on and be diligent about watching and not sliding into old routines. Every character f...	carolinagirl	3	789	Aug 19, 2009 by RunnerChick
	And another thing... (Preview) My exAH had moved to CA from SC to be with an exgf. Called me yesterday to tell me he loves me and misses me... Come to find out last night he's been kicked out and is basically on the street there and doesn't know what to do. He's using again, drinking again and the move has been very bad for him but he loves...	carolinagirl	7	492	Aug 19, 2009 by carolinagirl
	a lot of guilt and feeling low. (Preview) i still haven't been able to forgive myself for what i did in my relationship with xabf. 1) he was still logged on to his email account. i looked at an email exchange between him and his ex. i lied to him about it, then confessed the truth three days later. 2) after one of his binge nights during which i felt v...	queenie88	5	995	Aug 18, 2009 by maresie
	the reality is sinking in...and it hurts... (Preview) As some of you may know, my aH and I have been separated since last Oct. I always hoped that we'd each get better and we'd be able to reconcile and live happily ever after. And, as I stay connected with my reality, the chance of that happening seems less and less. I was thinking about how I ended up here in t...	Rora	6	879	Aug 18, 2009 by maresie
	New Kid in Town (Preview) Hello, everyone - As the subject line says, I'm a newbie here. I've been dating a guy that's 2 years sober (I apologize for not having all the acronyms down yet, feel free to enlighten me). He's actively working the program, and has been as long as I've known him (about a year and a half). He's a very soci...	AnneCognito	6	574	Aug 18, 2009 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.