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Thanks you all so much for all your wonderful comments.. Am sitting at work right now thinking of what is the next right step in my furture ahead... I am so happy and at peace when its just the kids and I but when he walks through the doors I just about loose all my peace because then I walk on eggshells never knowing what will happen next...
Am was telling someone today I was going to talk with him tonight one last time to see what we both can do to solve the issues in our marriage can it be saved, what do we want to do about it and such..
Am not leaving him till all stones have been turned over so when and if I do leave there is no regets, no i didnt do all I could for this relationship, and Yes I did do all I could do for this relationship and he choosed to allow the spilt...
This is a 20 year marriage we have a painful deep down issues its not easy just throwing away this amount of memories.... But I been through lots and came through just fine!!
Anyways I feel so scattered as I am writting this but I will update once I have had the talk with my Husband!!
Love you all family (((((((((((((MIP)))))))))))))))))))))))0
I was just like you. Got every second I could. But alas we could not be together a day anymore due to his disease and brain damage.
May be a moment at a time a bit huh?
One thing, the relief of when they are out of the house, and when they move out or we do is quite different. Least it was for me.
Thinking maybe because when it is final, there is no chance left. Actually we don't know for sure but yet we do.
I know for me I still feel I don't want to go again no matter what. Just cannot handle that pain again. Was so bad.
Everyones situation is different. In time and work it does get so much better. I know I did not even realize how much the disease sucked out of me. I didn't even see the cobwebs. Barely kept plants alive.
Now my stomach does not hurt, I am not in trepidation. Know I do not want to go back,
You may take him back a couple times but don't beat yourself up. It takes a lot to go through such a huge change. I compare it to learning to swim. Sometimes it takes a lot of going in slowly and learning and being comfortable in the water before we are ready to dive in.
Aloha Bubbles...I wish you well as I also wish that for both of you.
Take your higher power and all of the program with you on that walk and keep an open mind and ears. If you think that this is only a speed bump rather than a concrete wall in the journey more becomes possible and available for you. Work the suggestions and trust. You'll be okay regardless of how he arrives at and makes his choices.
