The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In October, I'm going to be flying to Kauai for our Hawaii Al-Anon fall assembly. Neither my AH nor I have been to Kauai yet, so I thought it would maybe be fun to take a couple extra days padded around the fall assembly weekend to spend visiting the island with my AH.
He was excited to go and made plans to join me. His daughter (my step-daughter) is living with us now and she was going to come, too. However, yesterday at breakfast, my AH told me they weren't going to make it out to Kauai in October after all because step-daughter has a lot of school work to do. I asked her if she could take homework with her, but she told me "No, I already get a ton of homework as it is and the makeup work would be overwhelming if I missed a couple days of school."
So, at first blush, I was perfectly fine with the whole situation. I had made plans to go out there with or without him. I'll be fine.
But it was so weird, last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I had the little "exclamation point" alert symbol pop up over my head and I remembered I was going to split the cost of the room with him, and now it's just going to be me. Why my head decided this is an issue after I had already decided LONG before knowing my AH would come or not that it was going to be fine is just what draws a derisive "snort" out of me.
That nasty little fearful ego decided that my AH was planning to be up to no good that weekend, too.
WHA??
And the most absurd thing out of all of it was that my head kept wanting to blame my AH for breaking his plans, when ultimately, his plans were broken because step-daughter knew her limits and made a very MATURE decision to turn down a weekend of playing on Kauai because she knew she'd get too much homework that way.
Just funny how the brain works and decides to create these bizarre links between actions and truths and draw up completely WRONG, fearful conclusions.
So anyhow... long and short of it... I'm going to enjoy my time on Kauai, even if a couple of those days I'll be by myself. HP must have some sort of special plans for me, otherwise I'd not have booked things the way I did.
Thankful I could recognize irrational scheming in my head and choose not to indulge it.
That's some absolutely great program work. Many times our first reaction is to get angry and start pointing fingers because it isn't going the way we want.
I have only one word...SU-WEET!!!!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I needed to hear that. I have been listening to the irrational thoughts and acting on them over the past few weeks and looking like a crazy woman as a result. I need to learn how to get my thinking right! Thanks for the share.
