Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...

Junko · Junko

Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...

Aloha · Aloha

Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...

RLC · RLC

It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...

emp919 · emp919

I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...

PAH123 · PAH123

Why, when the breakdown of a relationship is due to their A issues, do they always act so hurt when you point it out? Perhaps it's not correct to do so but, when it's so obvious that the A is trying to turn the tables to take the focus off them, sometimes, I can't hold back. It pisses me off and I have to say som...

Maize · Maize

My addiction to him that is. I need to re-focus and be gentle on myself. If he drinks, I can't do anything about it. If he doesn't answer his cell when I call it, I have to get something else to do. WHen I get home tonight I will find something to do that doesn't revolve around my obsession. I am trying to...

applecake · applecake

Hi. I didn't go away. Well I guess I did for a while. But I've been going to F2F meetings and I just wanted to check in here. Honestly, it's hard to go to the meetings, and hard to post here. It's like, reminding myself of the whole reality that I already live with anyway! I don't want to live telling my...

Rora · Rora

After 2 weeks and just as I was getting used to the idea of my exaH's decision to have nothing to do with our son, today I get an email from him: Starting this Monday I would like to start seeing (child). If Mondays don't work for you then we will have to pick another day that works for both of us. I would pick h...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

It's probably my own issues that I'm reading into everything too much, but I get the distinct feeling that my therapist and many alanonites are hinting that I'm going to be alone or lonely (by this I mean "no partner", no intimate relationship etc.) for the rest of my life and that I sh...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I've been separated from my AH, and have decided that I can no longer live with his disease. I've talked to an attorney about divorce, and I have signed a lease on a new place, and plan to move in a couple of weeks. My AH called me on Friday, and asked if I could help him because he had fallen and hit his head. I d...

lyndebi · lyndebi

It has dawned on me, I am ill, that I am NOT even interested in doing anything for anyone anymore. It is like I am beyond full. this may be long and boring... Been working on a home loan mod for so long I have no idea how long. THIS time I have a mortgage recovery guy doing it. I just could not handle the mistakes...

overit · overit

I've had issues with drinking myself some years ago-was able to get it under control w/out outside help...it wasn't true alcoholism..but I binge/comfort drank after my divorce and healing from a very abusive marriage. I spent 6 years on my own and workign on things before meeting my now bf. I stil...

RLC · RLC

Numbers vary but statistics say that six or more people are affected by each alcoholic. Each of you can come up with the number that relates in your particular case. The number is arrived at by considering family members, friends, employers, co-workers, and others who are affected. I don't know the...

Sanity in the making · Sanity in the making

I love the Courage to Change book!!! Reading this book lately has shown me how to have the courage to speak up when I need to instead of just stewing in the crap. I have a voice too and when things are said or done that I either don't understand or appreciate I can say, "hey wait a minute, I don't think I...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well, I posted the other day about how my 7 year old grandaughter confided in me about how scared she had been when she was driving with her mother(my d) last week. She had been telling me how fast the car was going, over 90 and close to 100mph and weaving in and out of different lanes of traffic on the highw...

Rora · Rora

I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately, since deciding to move forward with life without my aH. Life is beginning to be very different, in a good way, mostly. I still have sadness. But I know that I am heading in the right direction and I have reason to be hopeful for my future again. When I refle...

Jerry F · Jerry F

LOL!! I rarely if ever get physically ill especially with flus or colds or the like and am now experiencing what that feels like again. I've been blessed for such a long time that this brings up gratitude for all of the past years I've been free of bugs. My spouse offered to make me some chicken soup and I...

Junko · Junko

My recovering AH said he has gone through the Pink Cloud and is now having cravings. He had a quite serious one on Friday although he went to the meeting earlier that evening. I noticed he was a bit irritable when he came back but I didn't ask him how he was. Instead, he told me. I listened to him, asked him fe...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I just don't get it. I thought I was starting to, but I was wrong. Most of the time I've known/been with my X-bf he was a dry drunk. When I met him he had just gotten his 6 year coin and did attend meetings pretty regularly though that was it (no sponsor, no step work, etc) That all ended when he had to get a s...

melcoulter · melcoulter

After 2 years in a relationship with an AH, I have lost all feelings for the person I once loved. We have been in treatment 4 separate times, for a total of 6 months out of that two year period. He is still working his own program, rarely going to meetings and his sponsor is his roomate, which makes me thin...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I know it takes time, I know I've got along way to go...but depression hit hard tonight....no precipitating event (that I can think of), just suddenly life seemed black again. I'm trying to find happiness within myself and so far coming up mostly empty....I can divert my attention at times doing thin...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I'm falling back into old, very bad habits. Namely, trying to save my AH. It's a bit of a paradox, because, I know that I just can't live with an active alcoholic anymore and that I am going to divorce him as soon as I get moved and have some extra money to file. On the other hand, I'm just so afraid he's going t...

kablisnow · kablisnow

I have been sick for awhile now and b/c his rehab and car accident tickets recently we have not had the money for me to take care of some issues I am b/c ... so I have been pretty under the weather these days. Ofcourse he nevers ask if Im ok or if I need something, just claims he doesnt understand. Almost as I a...

PAH123 · PAH123

Had a long talk with my AH today and it really feels, as much as I wanted to try to make things work, that it's over. Too much water under the bridge and I feel, a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to making the huge changes that need to be made in order for out marriage to survive. All I get is "I'll do my bes...

Lem · Lem

Hi Folks, Awhile back I posted and someone replied with information on how to look into getting a sponsor on-line. I'm having some trouble finding that information right now (I'm tired and can't remember the date.) Can someone please tell me what to do? I appreciate everyone. I hope that you al...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This morning my wife got on my daughter's case...she wanted my daughter to eat fruit with breakfast and when my daughter ate a delmonte fruit cup my wife said "that's not real fruit you have to eat something else...." This is the type of thing that I will defend my daughter about. I told me...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Talked to therapist about transference issues I was having...basically she's the only woman I can remember that treated me well...... She was amazing...we discussed transference issue in depth...she assured me that she wouldn't abandon me and that we could use this to further my recovery....an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been experiencing a lot of depression about spending the rest of my life not ever having children. I have so many regrets in life but the biggest one is not being able to have a child who could be I feel the reason why I am here. Does that make sense to anyone? I know that I could've loved a child & b...

maresie · maresie

The dance with the ex A was a very consuming one and on many levels I will be dealing with the after effects of that dance for a long long time to come. Nevertheless, on some level with my family, friends and other people I've been on that dance all my life, its familiar I know the roles and it feels like &quo...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well here it is Sat. nite. I have had my 7 yr old grandaughter with me since Wed. I`am trying really hard to work the program and be a somewhat healthy person in this child`s life since she really hasn`t any other adults around. Tonight I kinda lost it when she started to tell me about her mother and how fa...

suzip · suzip

I am soooo looking forward to my face 2 face meeting tonight. Wasnt able to go last week unfortunately and really needed it. Sometimes as much as I want to stay positive and take each day as it comes, its a struggle. It is so helpful to get to that room and know that I am not the only one dealing with this rolle...

Maize · Maize

I started last Monday with terrible pains in my stomach on the lower right side. My abf, kids and I had just taken a nice walk in the woods on a trail. We got home and wham! My bf was the one that talked me into going to the hospital. While there, they discovered not appendicitis like we first thought but...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((Friends)))))))))))), Ok, off the pitty pot took a minute. Now I am mad....and when I am mad move over...... I am mad at the evil people out there and I will not allow them to hurt me or my children anymore. If I have to I will just keep filing charges....they will get tired of paying a magistr...

Sanity in the making · Sanity in the making

I have been in Alanon for a few 24 hours. The A and I were doing "the deal" together at one point, but, at some point she turned her back on AA and has been "white knuckling" it for more than two years now. As the disease is progressive so is the behavior without active recovery. Sh...

LarryWhiteford · LarryWhiteford

anyone else having trouble?

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Came in from work today - had a conversation with AH about what the doctor had said when he went yesterday - he was giving me positive feedback and I said I was pleased he was making an effort. For those who haven't read any of my previous posts AH has been very ill and hospitalized with the effects of drink...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Hi ! Iam having trouble getting into meetings John. Can you help me? I downloaded a new version of Java as was suggested by someone somewhere. Still I keep haveing an error message. Thanks, Rosanne

Samsgram · Samsgram

I have been trying for a month. I keep trying to download differrent versions of Java. My computer is fairly new and I`am so not Tech Savy. Can anyone help me here?

DreamXL · DreamXL

I just feel compelled to post today :) My brother who is 41 years old has been alchol and drug free for 7 weeks now. He has used since he was 15. I swear if I didnt have 20 plus years of evidence to snap me into reality I would question him even being an addict. His wife who being an acoa herself finally spok...

tlcate · tlcate

Ever see the train of insanity heading down the tracks and it is your face on the engine? No one else to blame and you can't seem to get out of your own way? I have been sick for about a month. Kept going, been out having a lot of summer fun, trying to buy my first house, trying to take care of myself and everyt...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am always in a hurry(like right now)! I wish I would slow down more! At home I am able to actually sit down & enjoy life but it seems like I am always bouncing off the walls! I often run into things too! That's my daily grind. I am so grateful that I can sit down here & make some sense of my otherwise...

Julia · Julia

Intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic husband...aaaahhhh! He's rarely able and when he is, he expects me to hop to it. I view him as another child in my household, not even a man, much less a sexually attractive man. I'm here for my children. I've worked through a lot via Alanon, but don't know ho...

kath · kath

I am standing up for what i believe in when I set boundaries with my AH. It is confusing because what I used to allow, I don't allow him to do anymore. One particular situation I am dealing with is the fact that he wants to keep our daughter while I go to school. I used to let him keep her, then I realized that he...

MalinoisMaiden · MalinoisMaiden

Hi, I am not really sure where to start so i think i just will at the beginning. My father became an alcoholic in 1999 when i was 11, i am 22 now. It was after an attack and hijacking he suffered whilst he was working as a taxi driver. It left him unable to work and he hasn't since. His drink of choice was always w...

Julia · Julia

I'm relatively new to understanding this illness (although I've been living with it for 25 years). And, of course, it's just getting worse daily. Something I've noticed, and has been mentioned in this forum, is a decreased interest in appearance/hygiene. Along those lines, I've noticed an odo...

LonelyWife · LonelyWife

My AH voluntarily checked into an inpatient detox/rehab program today where he will be for approx the next week. Do I dare hope he decided to do this because he found his "bottom"? He has nearly, but not completely, lost me/kids. He has not lost a job, gotten arrested, or been in a wreck....

movinforward · movinforward

I have posted only once to this board and am not sure my situation fits with or "qualifies" as al-anon. While my wife may abuse alcohol (as do I and I am beginning to understand the affect this may be having on our relationship) I don't know that she is an alcoholic or that our problems come ...

kath · kath

My AH wanted to come to our home next week and I told him I was not ready to see him. I have three tests next week and work on tuesday, teaching wed night class, and taking care of my three girls. Our anniversary is Tuesday. He texted me practically demanding that I leave our daughter with him while I go to sch...

kath · kath

This week has been crazy. Today I have taken every thought that was negative, fearful, etc. to my HP. I have stepped out on a limb and it is really scary sometimes. I am going to college for the first time in six years to finish my degree. It is tough. I am separated from my AH. I talked to him today. He called....

maire rua · maire rua

I am sick of all the upset and drama. This week, which was exceptionally long and tiring for me, left me very tired tonight. Ex-A comes in from pub and throws a wobbly about the boys playing video games upstairs. He can't sleep, so he's disappeared over to his hovel down the road. I am handing it over. I kno...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), On this day may we never forget the loved ones lost, the first responders and those Alanon family members that are hurting. May we remember those serving in our military & their families. May we practice love, patience and tolerance so that we honor those who lost their lives on...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	surgery soon; I will keep you posted! (Preview) I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...	Hoot Nanny	5	1306	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Addictive personality (Preview) Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...	Junko	7	693	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Friday (Preview) Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...	lyndebi	3	597	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling oddly more peaceful (Preview) Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...	Cloudsea	7	718	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Garbage Truck Law (Preview) Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...	Peggy7	8	721	Sep 18, 2010 by Dale
	Okay... so what about ME!? (Preview) Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...	Aloha	3	600	Sep 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	It's all about me (Preview) OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...	fishinmama	2	507	Sep 17, 2010 by Cloudsea
	breaks in the clouds........ (Preview) have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...	mjhyankees	5	652	Sep 17, 2010 by xeno59
	HOTROD ????? (Preview) It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...	RLC	3	540	Sep 17, 2010 by RLC
	Communications... (Preview) This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...	Jerry F	10	858	Sep 16, 2010 by Peggy7
	on dry drunks, honesty and paradigm shifts (Preview) I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...	emp919	6	1093	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	Feelings.......... (Preview) My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...	mjhyankees	6	561	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	And around we go..... (Preview) Why, when the breakdown of a relationship is due to their A issues, do they always act so hurt when you point it out? Perhaps it's not correct to do so but, when it's so obvious that the A is trying to turn the tables to take the focus off them, sometimes, I can't hold back. It pisses me off and I have to say som...	PAH123	7	891	Sep 16, 2010 by PAH123
	Trying to learn to not let my addiction take over (Preview) My addiction to him that is. I need to re-focus and be gentle on myself. If he drinks, I can't do anything about it. If he doesn't answer his cell when I call it, I have to get something else to do. WHen I get home tonight I will find something to do that doesn't revolve around my obsession. I am trying to...	Maize	8	577	Sep 16, 2010 by Maize
	Checking in (Preview) Hi. I didn't go away. Well I guess I did for a while. But I've been going to F2F meetings and I just wanted to check in here. Honestly, it's hard to go to the meetings, and hard to post here. It's like, reminding myself of the whole reality that I already live with anyway! I don't want to live telling my...	applecake	3	537	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	esh needed please (Preview) After 2 weeks and just as I was getting used to the idea of my exaH's decision to have nothing to do with our son, today I get an email from him: Starting this Monday I would like to start seeing (child). If Mondays don't work for you then we will have to pick another day that works for both of us. I would pick h...	Rora	7	749	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Alone forever??? (Preview) It's probably my own issues that I'm reading into everything too much, but I get the distinct feeling that my therapist and many alanonites are hinting that I'm going to be alone or lonely (by this I mean "no partner", no intimate relationship etc.) for the rest of my life and that I sh...	mjhyankees	11	1019	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	I just can't seem to get away from my A... (Preview) I've been separated from my AH, and have decided that I can no longer live with his disease. I've talked to an attorney about divorce, and I have signed a lease on a new place, and plan to move in a couple of weeks. My AH called me on Friday, and asked if I could help him because he had fallen and hit his head. I d...	stopandchat	8	791	Sep 15, 2010 by Mattie
	May I vent? (Preview) It has dawned on me, I am ill, that I am NOT even interested in doing anything for anyone anymore. It is like I am beyond full. this may be long and boring... Been working on a home loan mod for so long I have no idea how long. THIS time I have a mortgage recovery guy doing it. I just could not handle the mistakes...	lyndebi	5	833	Sep 15, 2010 by lyndebi
	I'm new, I'm scared and don't know if I"m ready for this step. (Preview) I've had issues with drinking myself some years ago-was able to get it under control w/out outside help...it wasn't true alcoholism..but I binge/comfort drank after my divorce and healing from a very abusive marriage. I spent 6 years on my own and workign on things before meeting my now bf. I stil...	overit	7	701	Sep 15, 2010 by overit
	What are Your Thoughts and Opinion? (Preview) Numbers vary but statistics say that six or more people are affected by each alcoholic. Each of you can come up with the number that relates in your particular case. The number is arrived at by considering family members, friends, employers, co-workers, and others who are affected. I don't know the...	RLC	18	1281	Sep 15, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Have the courage to speak up!!! You have a voice too!!! (Preview) I love the Courage to Change book!!! Reading this book lately has shown me how to have the courage to speak up when I need to instead of just stewing in the crap. I have a voice too and when things are said or done that I either don't understand or appreciate I can say, "hey wait a minute, I don't think I...	Sanity in the making	4	640	Sep 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	Find Myself Angry Once Again at these Paid Professions.. (Preview) Well, I posted the other day about how my 7 year old grandaughter confided in me about how scared she had been when she was driving with her mother(my d) last week. She had been telling me how fast the car was going, over 90 and close to 100mph and weaving in and out of different lanes of traffic on the highw...	Samsgram	6	1050	Sep 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finished being the Orchestrator, now there's no performance... (Preview) I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately, since deciding to move forward with life without my aH. Life is beginning to be very different, in a good way, mostly. I still have sadness. But I know that I am heading in the right direction and I have reason to be hopeful for my future again. When I refle...	Rora	9	744	Sep 15, 2010 by Maize
	Chicken Soup.... (Preview) LOL!! I rarely if ever get physically ill especially with flus or colds or the like and am now experiencing what that feels like again. I've been blessed for such a long time that this brings up gratitude for all of the past years I've been free of bugs. My spouse offered to make me some chicken soup and I...	Jerry F	9	898	Sep 15, 2010 by Karilynn
	Out of the Pink Cloud.. (Preview) My recovering AH said he has gone through the Pink Cloud and is now having cravings. He had a quite serious one on Friday although he went to the meeting earlier that evening. I noticed he was a bit irritable when he came back but I didn't ask him how he was. Instead, he told me. I listened to him, asked him fe...	Junko	13	963	Sep 15, 2010 by Junko
	I just don't get it... anyone with experience out there? (Preview) I just don't get it. I thought I was starting to, but I was wrong. Most of the time I've known/been with my X-bf he was a dry drunk. When I met him he had just gotten his 6 year coin and did attend meetings pretty regularly though that was it (no sponsor, no step work, etc) That all ended when he had to get a s...	lizzakiss	4	803	Sep 14, 2010 by melcoulter
	Trying to walk away (Preview) After 2 years in a relationship with an AH, I have lost all feelings for the person I once loved. We have been in treatment 4 separate times, for a total of 6 months out of that two year period. He is still working his own program, rarely going to meetings and his sponsor is his roomate, which makes me thin...	melcoulter	8	755	Sep 14, 2010 by melcoulter
	Sigh......tell me when it gets better.... (Preview) I know it takes time, I know I've got along way to go...but depression hit hard tonight....no precipitating event (that I can think of), just suddenly life seemed black again. I'm trying to find happiness within myself and so far coming up mostly empty....I can divert my attention at times doing thin...	mjhyankees	10	968	Sep 14, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Point of no return... (Preview) So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...	lizzakiss	6	860	Sep 14, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Going to a meeting tonight and I desperately need it!!! (Preview) I'm falling back into old, very bad habits. Namely, trying to save my AH. It's a bit of a paradox, because, I know that I just can't live with an active alcoholic anymore and that I am going to divorce him as soon as I get moved and have some extra money to file. On the other hand, I'm just so afraid he's going t...	stopandchat	5	692	Sep 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Today was so typical, why am I so upset (Preview) I have been sick for awhile now and b/c his rehab and car accident tickets recently we have not had the money for me to take care of some issues I am b/c ... so I have been pretty under the weather these days. Ofcourse he nevers ask if Im ok or if I need something, just claims he doesnt understand. Almost as I a...	kablisnow	5	617	Sep 14, 2010 by maresie
	I think it's over (Preview) Had a long talk with my AH today and it really feels, as much as I wanted to try to make things work, that it's over. Too much water under the bridge and I feel, a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to making the huge changes that need to be made in order for out marriage to survive. All I get is "I'll do my bes...	PAH123	14	1255	Sep 14, 2010 by PAH123
	Need a sponsor. (Preview) Hi Folks, Awhile back I posted and someone replied with information on how to look into getting a sponsor on-line. I'm having some trouble finding that information right now (I'm tired and can't remember the date.) Can someone please tell me what to do? I appreciate everyone. I hope that you al...	Lem	2	588	Sep 14, 2010 by DreamXL
	I tried walking away.... (Preview) This morning my wife got on my daughter's case...she wanted my daughter to eat fruit with breakfast and when my daughter ate a delmonte fruit cup my wife said "that's not real fruit you have to eat something else...." This is the type of thing that I will defend my daughter about. I told me...	mjhyankees	15	1005	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	wow...do I have a great therapist...I'm so thankful........ (Preview) Talked to therapist about transference issues I was having...basically she's the only woman I can remember that treated me well...... She was amazing...we discussed transference issue in depth...she assured me that she wouldn't abandon me and that we could use this to further my recovery....an...	mjhyankees	8	590	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	life w/o children (Preview) I have been experiencing a lot of depression about spending the rest of my life not ever having children. I have so many regrets in life but the biggest one is not being able to have a child who could be I feel the reason why I am here. Does that make sense to anyone? I know that I could've loved a child & b...	Hoot Nanny	3	672	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	patterns of behavior (Preview) The dance with the ex A was a very consuming one and on many levels I will be dealing with the after effects of that dance for a long long time to come. Nevertheless, on some level with my family, friends and other people I've been on that dance all my life, its familiar I know the roles and it feels like &quo...	maresie	6	1144	Sep 13, 2010 by maresie
	Not Sure What To Do... (Preview) Well here it is Sat. nite. I have had my 7 yr old grandaughter with me since Wed. I`am trying really hard to work the program and be a somewhat healthy person in this child`s life since she really hasn`t any other adults around. Tonight I kinda lost it when she started to tell me about her mother and how fa...	Samsgram	6	1079	Sep 13, 2010 by jobe
	face to face (Preview) I am soooo looking forward to my face 2 face meeting tonight. Wasnt able to go last week unfortunately and really needed it. Sometimes as much as I want to stay positive and take each day as it comes, its a struggle. It is so helpful to get to that room and know that I am not the only one dealing with this rolle...	suzip	3	760	Sep 13, 2010 by Jozie
	Been terribly ill.... (Preview) I started last Monday with terrible pains in my stomach on the lower right side. My abf, kids and I had just taken a nice walk in the woods on a trail. We got home and wham! My bf was the one that talked me into going to the hospital. While there, they discovered not appendicitis like we first thought but...	Maize	5	656	Sep 13, 2010 by Maize
	From being afraid to being angry (Preview) (((((((((((Friends)))))))))))), Ok, off the pitty pot took a minute. Now I am mad....and when I am mad move over...... I am mad at the evil people out there and I will not allow them to hurt me or my children anymore. If I have to I will just keep filing charges....they will get tired of paying a magistr...	Andrea12	11	963	Sep 13, 2010 by tlcate
	Living with a Dry Drunk is sooooo hard!!! (Preview) I have been in Alanon for a few 24 hours. The A and I were doing "the deal" together at one point, but, at some point she turned her back on AA and has been "white knuckling" it for more than two years now. As the disease is progressive so is the behavior without active recovery. Sh...	Sanity in the making	9	1254	Sep 12, 2010 by buick23
	Chat Room Java is it down? Can't get into the chatroom (Preview) anyone else having trouble?	LarryWhiteford	2	696	Sep 12, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Why do I keep expecting change? (Preview) Came in from work today - had a conversation with AH about what the doctor had said when he went yesterday - he was giving me positive feedback and I said I was pleased he was making an effort. For those who haven't read any of my previous posts AH has been very ill and hospitalized with the effects of drink...	Tattyhead	6	845	Sep 12, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Cant get into Meetings Can you Help? (Preview) Hi ! Iam having trouble getting into meetings John. Can you help me? I downloaded a new version of Java as was suggested by someone somewhere. Still I keep haveing an error message. Thanks, Rosanne	Samsgram	2	592	Sep 12, 2010 by Samsgram
	Can`t Get Into Meetings (Preview) I have been trying for a month. I keep trying to download differrent versions of Java. My computer is fairly new and I`am so not Tech Savy. Can anyone help me here?	Samsgram	0	430	Sep 12, 2010 by Samsgram
	Miracles (Preview) I just feel compelled to post today :) My brother who is 41 years old has been alchol and drug free for 7 weeks now. He has used since he was 15. I swear if I didnt have 20 plus years of evidence to snap me into reality I would question him even being an addict. His wife who being an acoa herself finally spok...	DreamXL	6	1247	Sep 12, 2010 by DreamXL
	My Own Addiction (Preview) Ever see the train of insanity heading down the tracks and it is your face on the engine? No one else to blame and you can't seem to get out of your own way? I have been sick for about a month. Kept going, been out having a lot of summer fun, trying to buy my first house, trying to take care of myself and everyt...	tlcate	10	959	Sep 12, 2010 by Karilynn
	ALWAYS IN A HURRY! (Preview) I am always in a hurry(like right now)! I wish I would slow down more! At home I am able to actually sit down & enjoy life but it seems like I am always bouncing off the walls! I often run into things too! That's my daily grind. I am so grateful that I can sit down here & make some sense of my otherwise...	Hoot Nanny	4	713	Sep 12, 2010 by Lem
	Physical intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic (Preview) Intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic husband...aaaahhhh! He's rarely able and when he is, he expects me to hop to it. I view him as another child in my household, not even a man, much less a sexually attractive man. I'm here for my children. I've worked through a lot via Alanon, but don't know ho...	Julia	10	8310	Sep 12, 2010 by Omega Man
	what used to be (Preview) I am standing up for what i believe in when I set boundaries with my AH. It is confusing because what I used to allow, I don't allow him to do anymore. One particular situation I am dealing with is the fact that he wants to keep our daughter while I go to school. I used to let him keep her, then I realized that he...	kath	7	626	Sep 12, 2010 by abbyal
	New Member - Alcoholic Father - Very Long Post (Preview) Hi, I am not really sure where to start so i think i just will at the beginning. My father became an alcoholic in 1999 when i was 11, i am 22 now. It was after an attack and hijacking he suffered whilst he was working as a taxi driver. It left him unable to work and he hasn't since. His drink of choice was always w...	MalinoisMaiden	5	1788	Sep 11, 2010 by MalinoisMaiden
	Alcoholics and Hygiene (Preview) I'm relatively new to understanding this illness (although I've been living with it for 25 years). And, of course, it's just getting worse daily. Something I've noticed, and has been mentioned in this forum, is a decreased interest in appearance/hygiene. Along those lines, I've noticed an odo...	Julia	8	5168	Sep 11, 2010 by stopandchat
	Checked in to rehab. What now? (Preview) My AH voluntarily checked into an inpatient detox/rehab program today where he will be for approx the next week. Do I dare hope he decided to do this because he found his "bottom"? He has nearly, but not completely, lost me/kids. He has not lost a job, gotten arrested, or been in a wreck....	LonelyWife	10	874	Sep 11, 2010 by stopandchat
	Can I be here? (Preview) I have posted only once to this board and am not sure my situation fits with or "qualifies" as al-anon. While my wife may abuse alcohol (as do I and I am beginning to understand the affect this may be having on our relationship) I don't know that she is an alcoholic or that our problems come ...	movinforward	5	717	Sep 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Last night (Preview) My AH wanted to come to our home next week and I told him I was not ready to see him. I have three tests next week and work on tuesday, teaching wed night class, and taking care of my three girls. Our anniversary is Tuesday. He texted me practically demanding that I leave our daughter with him while I go to sch...	kath	5	599	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	just checking in (Preview) This week has been crazy. Today I have taken every thought that was negative, fearful, etc. to my HP. I have stepped out on a limb and it is really scary sometimes. I am going to college for the first time in six years to finish my degree. It is tough. I am separated from my AH. I talked to him today. He called....	kath	4	605	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	Upset and drama (Preview) I am sick of all the upset and drama. This week, which was exceptionally long and tiring for me, left me very tired tonight. Ex-A comes in from pub and throws a wobbly about the boys playing video games upstairs. He can't sleep, so he's disappeared over to his hovel down the road. I am handing it over. I kno...	maire rua	4	834	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	Never forget... (Preview) ((((Family))), On this day may we never forget the loved ones lost, the first responders and those Alanon family members that are hurting. May we remember those serving in our military & their families. May we practice love, patience and tolerance so that we honor those who lost their lives on...	Karilynn	3	645	Sep 11, 2010 by Bettina
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.