Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

dori711 · dori711

He still drinks several times a week. He says I blame him for everything and that there is something wrong with me and that the kids think so too and that I'm selfish. That really hurt but as I was thinking it over, I realized that I've been trying to help my husband and children with their problems almos...

MK · MK

I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter off and on now for the past 6 years with her drinking. She will not get help and has already gone through a program. She says she will not stop .

stopandchat · stopandchat

It's been one helluva week! But, by the grace of God and thanks to the program and you wonderful people here at MIP, I'm doing pretty good. I think my AH is the worse he's ever been. He's been to the hospital 3 times this week for alcohol poisoning - has walked out each time against medical advice. The last t...

DreamXL · DreamXL

I guess I just feel to share this after reading "but for the grace of god go I" post. My son who is now 18 and in his first year of college was very affected by something that his high school did every three months. Two AA speakers came to share their stories in the auditorium every three months...

cleanlivin · cleanlivin

Hi All....Long story short..... My husband has been abusing alcohol for years. He doesn't get physical or mean, he's just "that" drunk guy at a social event. He's blacked out, passed out and always swears he's going to get help when he sobers up. He hasn't and just seems unhappy with his lif...

Maize · Maize

I will be reading all of the posts I missed today when I get home tonight... But for now, I just wanted to say that my exhusband (the abusive one) was stirring up crap today. At first for about 10 minutes, it really bothered me. Then somehow, I began to look at it a different way. I was able to turn it arou...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So today I followed through on what I had threatened and thought about for the past few months now. I left. The apartment looked so sad with my stuff gone. My xbf-sober has 9 years but most of it was just as a dry drunk. The past few months he had been making meetings on a regular basis and recently got a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Hey Everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been busy working my program with an amazing Sponsor. I'm checking to see if anyone can recommend some Al-Anon literature for me. So far I've read: Paths to Recovery How Al-Anon Works From Survival to Recovery Discovering Choices Forum F...

Gaia · Gaia

I posted another thread about looking for a timer...but this made me wonder... How does your f2f (if you have one) deal with time? Is it open time sharing? Or do you set a time boundary? In what way? And if yes, how do you "enforce" it? And if someone continually takes up more than their a...

John · John

As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes. Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in fr...

Jozie · Jozie

Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :( My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends))))))))))))) Took my mom today to get a biopsy of her tongue. We woln't know the results until Wednesday. I am asking all to send a prayer please. She is the glue that holds this family together. She is sometimes a pain in my rear but I love her with all I am. My mom is giving, caring, lo...

dcjjp1 · dcjjp1

Let me bend you ear for a few minutes with my story... My partner and I have been together for just under 7 yrs now I am 40 and he is 36, I used to be a partier and go out often years ago and that's how we met and got together. Fast forward 6.5 yrs later and now I don't go out often (I own my own business and am extre...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, As many of you have read my posts, my AH has really been struggling this past week to put down the bottle. He ended up going back to the ER last Friday night (4th time in one week), and his vitals were so unstable he ended up in the ICU. He's still there. He plans to go into inpatient rehab (again) once h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...

Gaia · Gaia

I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?

babyfacedrey · babyfacedrey

My partner and I are both in recovery and both have accumulated enough 24 hours to have a great life together. We both openly talked about what we would do if either relapsed and had always agreed that the person that relapsed would leave our home. In July my partner relapsed and went missing for 48 hours...

Samsgram · Samsgram

You know this just feels too tough sometimes. I`am having a rough time minding my business and I think I always will when it comes to my grandaughter. My daughter really does seem to have the counselor siding with her btw. I had been babysitting 4-5 nights sometimes in a week. My mother offered to pay for...

jens · jens

Hello everyone! I am new at all of this. I'm not new at living with an alcoholic but I'm new at admiting it. I am an only child of two alcoholic parents. One who is a quiet drinker and one who is a loud drinker who doesn't hide it. I am now an adult with a family of my own and realizing how unhealthy it is!!!...

ljh · ljh

My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her h...

Meuse · Meuse

I have been married to an AH for 2 years. I knew him 4 years before we started dating and even after we started dating he hid it from me. When we started getting serious he told me he was a "functional alcololic". I had no experience dealing with alcoholism. He told me that if I wanted to end t...

casa · casa

I need someone to chair for me on Tuesday night the 21st of September. I won't be able to do it that night, so I need coverage. Help? Pretty please? Thanks! Sara aka casa -- Edited by casa on Saturday 18th of September 2010 08:49:04 PM

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Therapy and program have brought some issues to a head for me. One is the looking for approval and deriving self esteem from outside myself (trying to please others so as to be complimented or well thought of by them, judging myself by comparing to others, looking for validation etc.). It has brought...

laciedeveya · laciedeveya

I GREW UP WITH PARENTS WHO WERE DRUG ADDICTS AND DRINKERS !! BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ALSO A RECOVERYING ALCOHOLIC AND HAS BEEN 4 5 YEARS BUT THE THING IS I THINK I MAY BE MORE MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY THEN ALL OF THEM AND I NEED HELP IS WHERE TO LOOK?? WILL AL-ANON BE A PLACE 4 ME TO FIND SOME PEACE???

emp919 · emp919

After four days of lovingly detaching, my [dry drunk] husband asked me nervously last night asked me where I saw "us". I said I could only speak for myself, and that I was doing what I could to be well, and working on how I respond to things between us. I could tell he was really uncomfortable a...

Sammy · Sammy

How do I support my husband as he starts his recovery? I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated it had to come to this. He needs me and I am lost. My entire life has changed overnight. He deserves the best!

Dale · Dale

So it has been almost a year since my divorce, and I am still learning. Yesterday my councelor and I discussed a book Facing Love Addiction. We looked at how I was treated, and what I allowed, or rationalized. Saying it is ok....just dont leave me. I know I still have the tendacy to fall into a relationshi...

Katy · Katy

Well we have him home now, it was my husbands decision to invite him back with boundaries, I didn't agree he was ready I felt he should have come back when he had asked us for help himself, I could see my husband was hurting, our son was sinking fast, I think my husband rescued him too soon, just before his bo...

kath · kath

I get where I take almost everyone and everything people do personally. I know that I am the one with the problem, because there is no way that everyone could be that bad. I don't really understand what is going on, but everything offends me. I don't like being this way. I also start feeling like I am stup...

Maize · Maize

I haven't had such a good day in a long time. Well really this week has been quite good, but today seems great. I had a good day yesterday, I put myself first and did not worry so much about HIM. I had lunch with a good friend. I concentrated on work. I was on this board. I got home and he was sober! I mean...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...

Junko · Junko

Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...

Aloha · Aloha

Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...

RLC · RLC

It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...

emp919 · emp919

I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...

PAH123 · PAH123

Why, when the breakdown of a relationship is due to their A issues, do they always act so hurt when you point it out? Perhaps it's not correct to do so but, when it's so obvious that the A is trying to turn the tables to take the focus off them, sometimes, I can't hold back. It pisses me off and I have to say som...

Maize · Maize

My addiction to him that is. I need to re-focus and be gentle on myself. If he drinks, I can't do anything about it. If he doesn't answer his cell when I call it, I have to get something else to do. WHen I get home tonight I will find something to do that doesn't revolve around my obsession. I am trying to...

applecake · applecake

Hi. I didn't go away. Well I guess I did for a while. But I've been going to F2F meetings and I just wanted to check in here. Honestly, it's hard to go to the meetings, and hard to post here. It's like, reminding myself of the whole reality that I already live with anyway! I don't want to live telling my...

Rora · Rora

After 2 weeks and just as I was getting used to the idea of my exaH's decision to have nothing to do with our son, today I get an email from him: Starting this Monday I would like to start seeing (child). If Mondays don't work for you then we will have to pick another day that works for both of us. I would pick h...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

It's probably my own issues that I'm reading into everything too much, but I get the distinct feeling that my therapist and many alanonites are hinting that I'm going to be alone or lonely (by this I mean "no partner", no intimate relationship etc.) for the rest of my life and that I sh...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I've been separated from my AH, and have decided that I can no longer live with his disease. I've talked to an attorney about divorce, and I have signed a lease on a new place, and plan to move in a couple of weeks. My AH called me on Friday, and asked if I could help him because he had fallen and hit his head. I d...

lyndebi · lyndebi

It has dawned on me, I am ill, that I am NOT even interested in doing anything for anyone anymore. It is like I am beyond full. this may be long and boring... Been working on a home loan mod for so long I have no idea how long. THIS time I have a mortgage recovery guy doing it. I just could not handle the mistakes...

overit · overit

I've had issues with drinking myself some years ago-was able to get it under control w/out outside help...it wasn't true alcoholism..but I binge/comfort drank after my divorce and healing from a very abusive marriage. I spent 6 years on my own and workign on things before meeting my now bf. I stil...

RLC · RLC

Numbers vary but statistics say that six or more people are affected by each alcoholic. Each of you can come up with the number that relates in your particular case. The number is arrived at by considering family members, friends, employers, co-workers, and others who are affected. I don't know the...

Sanity in the making · Sanity in the making

I love the Courage to Change book!!! Reading this book lately has shown me how to have the courage to speak up when I need to instead of just stewing in the crap. I have a voice too and when things are said or done that I either don't understand or appreciate I can say, "hey wait a minute, I don't think I...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well, I posted the other day about how my 7 year old grandaughter confided in me about how scared she had been when she was driving with her mother(my d) last week. She had been telling me how fast the car was going, over 90 and close to 100mph and weaving in and out of different lanes of traffic on the highw...

Rora · Rora

I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately, since deciding to move forward with life without my aH. Life is beginning to be very different, in a good way, mostly. I still have sadness. But I know that I am heading in the right direction and I have reason to be hopeful for my future again. When I refle...

Jerry F · Jerry F

LOL!! I rarely if ever get physically ill especially with flus or colds or the like and am now experiencing what that feels like again. I've been blessed for such a long time that this brings up gratitude for all of the past years I've been free of bugs. My spouse offered to make me some chicken soup and I...

Junko · Junko

My recovering AH said he has gone through the Pink Cloud and is now having cravings. He had a quite serious one on Friday although he went to the meeting earlier that evening. I noticed he was a bit irritable when he came back but I didn't ask him how he was. Instead, he told me. I listened to him, asked him fe...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I just don't get it. I thought I was starting to, but I was wrong. Most of the time I've known/been with my X-bf he was a dry drunk. When I met him he had just gotten his 6 year coin and did attend meetings pretty regularly though that was it (no sponsor, no step work, etc) That all ended when he had to get a s...

melcoulter · melcoulter

After 2 years in a relationship with an AH, I have lost all feelings for the person I once loved. We have been in treatment 4 separate times, for a total of 6 months out of that two year period. He is still working his own program, rarely going to meetings and his sponsor is his roomate, which makes me thin...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I know it takes time, I know I've got along way to go...but depression hit hard tonight....no precipitating event (that I can think of), just suddenly life seemed black again. I'm trying to find happiness within myself and so far coming up mostly empty....I can divert my attention at times doing thin...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It's all my fault (Preview) He still drinks several times a week. He says I blame him for everything and that there is something wrong with me and that the kids think so too and that I'm selfish. That really hurt but as I was thinking it over, I realized that I've been trying to help my husband and children with their problems almos...	dori711	13	1304	Sep 21, 2010 by dori711
	New and not sure what to do.... (Preview) I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter off and on now for the past 6 years with her drinking. She will not get help and has already gone through a program. She says she will not stop .	MK	7	891	Sep 21, 2010 by xeno59
	Surprisingly, I'm at peace right now... (Preview) It's been one helluva week! But, by the grace of God and thanks to the program and you wonderful people here at MIP, I'm doing pretty good. I think my AH is the worse he's ever been. He's been to the hospital 3 times this week for alcohol poisoning - has walked out each time against medical advice. The last t...	stopandchat	9	734	Sep 21, 2010 by Maize
	No idea what to call this topic :) (Preview) I guess I just feel to share this after reading "but for the grace of god go I" post. My son who is now 18 and in his first year of college was very affected by something that his high school did every three months. Two AA speakers came to share their stories in the auditorium every three months...	DreamXL	7	651	Sep 21, 2010 by rainbojo66
	Need Advice ASAP! (Preview) Hi All....Long story short..... My husband has been abusing alcohol for years. He doesn't get physical or mean, he's just "that" drunk guy at a social event. He's blacked out, passed out and always swears he's going to get help when he sobers up. He hasn't and just seems unhappy with his lif...	cleanlivin	8	1171	Sep 21, 2010 by hotrod
	Not letting it bother me (Preview) I will be reading all of the posts I missed today when I get home tonight... But for now, I just wanted to say that my exhusband (the abusive one) was stirring up crap today. At first for about 10 minutes, it really bothered me. Then somehow, I began to look at it a different way. I was able to turn it arou...	Maize	3	745	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	I left him (Preview) So today I followed through on what I had threatened and thought about for the past few months now. I left. The apartment looked so sad with my stuff gone. My xbf-sober has 9 years but most of it was just as a dry drunk. The past few months he had been making meetings on a regular basis and recently got a...	lizzakiss	15	1241	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	Literature Suggestion (Preview) Hey Everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been busy working my program with an amazing Sponsor. I'm checking to see if anyone can recommend some Al-Anon literature for me. So far I've read: Paths to Recovery How Al-Anon Works From Survival to Recovery Discovering Choices Forum F...	N8SMOM	5	644	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	Amount of time to share? How does your f2f group do it? (Preview) I posted another thread about looking for a timer...but this made me wonder... How does your f2f (if you have one) deal with time? Is it open time sharing? Or do you set a time boundary? In what way? And if yes, how do you "enforce" it? And if someone continually takes up more than their a...	Gaia	4	3053	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Frustrated and Hurt (Preview) As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes. Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in fr...	John	20	1027	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	One of those Days... (Preview) Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :( My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things...	Jozie	3	763	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	In Need of Some Prayers Please (Preview) (((((((Friends))))))))))))) Took my mom today to get a biopsy of her tongue. We woln't know the results until Wednesday. I am asking all to send a prayer please. She is the glue that holds this family together. She is sometimes a pain in my rear but I love her with all I am. My mom is giving, caring, lo...	Andrea12	15	1094	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	New (Preview) Let me bend you ear for a few minutes with my story... My partner and I have been together for just under 7 yrs now I am 40 and he is 36, I used to be a partier and go out often years ago and that's how we met and got together. Fast forward 6.5 yrs later and now I don't go out often (I own my own business and am extre...	dcjjp1	4	757	Sep 20, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling guilty about leaving my AH... (Preview) Hi all, As many of you have read my posts, my AH has really been struggling this past week to put down the bottle. He ended up going back to the ER last Friday night (4th time in one week), and his vitals were so unstable he ended up in the ICU. He's still there. He plans to go into inpatient rehab (again) once h...	stopandchat	6	677	Sep 20, 2010 by Bettina
	But for the Grace of God go I... (Preview) I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...	Loupiness	5	981	Sep 20, 2010 by Karilynn
	Looking for a quiet low volume timer for f2f meeting...anybody have a suggestion? (Preview) I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?	Gaia	6	1335	Sep 20, 2010 by abbyal
	Removed the addict from my life and home. What next? How do I cope with this grief? (Preview) My partner and I are both in recovery and both have accumulated enough 24 hours to have a great life together. We both openly talked about what we would do if either relapsed and had always agreed that the person that relapsed would leave our home. In July my partner relapsed and went missing for 48 hours...	babyfacedrey	16	1095	Sep 19, 2010 by Samsgram
	Just Can`t Seem To Get Going W/ The Program (Preview) You know this just feels too tough sometimes. I`am having a rough time minding my business and I think I always will when it comes to my grandaughter. My daughter really does seem to have the counselor siding with her btw. I had been babysitting 4-5 nights sometimes in a week. My mother offered to pay for...	Samsgram	7	918	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	New at this.... (Preview) Hello everyone! I am new at all of this. I'm not new at living with an alcoholic but I'm new at admiting it. I am an only child of two alcoholic parents. One who is a quiet drinker and one who is a loud drinker who doesn't hide it. I am now an adult with a family of my own and realizing how unhealthy it is!!!...	jens	7	750	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	need help with someone's drinking and driving (Preview) My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her h...	ljh	7	965	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	First time talking about my AH (Preview) I have been married to an AH for 2 years. I knew him 4 years before we started dating and even after we started dating he hid it from me. When we started getting serious he told me he was a "functional alcololic". I had no experience dealing with alcoholism. He told me that if I wanted to end t...	Meuse	8	925	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Help please! (Preview) I need someone to chair for me on Tuesday night the 21st of September. I won't be able to do it that night, so I need coverage. Help? Pretty please? Thanks! Sara aka casa -- Edited by casa on Saturday 18th of September 2010 08:49:04 PM	casa	1	521	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Working on issues...... (Preview) Therapy and program have brought some issues to a head for me. One is the looking for approval and deriving self esteem from outside myself (trying to please others so as to be complimented or well thought of by them, judging myself by comparing to others, looking for validation etc.). It has brought...	mjhyankees	4	622	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	IS AL-ANON RIGHT 4 ME?? (Preview) I GREW UP WITH PARENTS WHO WERE DRUG ADDICTS AND DRINKERS !! BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ALSO A RECOVERYING ALCOHOLIC AND HAS BEEN 4 5 YEARS BUT THE THING IS I THINK I MAY BE MORE MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY THEN ALL OF THEM AND I NEED HELP IS WHERE TO LOOK?? WILL AL-ANON BE A PLACE 4 ME TO FIND SOME PEACE???	laciedeveya	8	770	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	he is feeling threatened as I change; need wisdom -LONG- (Preview) After four days of lovingly detaching, my [dry drunk] husband asked me nervously last night asked me where I saw "us". I said I could only speak for myself, and that I was doing what I could to be well, and working on how I respond to things between us. I could tell he was really uncomfortable a...	emp919	12	1064	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	New to Al a Non and Lost! (Preview) How do I support my husband as he starts his recovery? I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated it had to come to this. He needs me and I am lost. My entire life has changed overnight. He deserves the best!	Sammy	13	766	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	Dale's life (Preview) So it has been almost a year since my divorce, and I am still learning. Yesterday my councelor and I discussed a book Facing Love Addiction. We looked at how I was treated, and what I allowed, or rationalized. Saying it is ok....just dont leave me. I know I still have the tendacy to fall into a relationshi...	Dale	6	692	Sep 19, 2010 by tlcate
	update on our son! (Preview) Well we have him home now, it was my husbands decision to invite him back with boundaries, I didn't agree he was ready I felt he should have come back when he had asked us for help himself, I could see my husband was hurting, our son was sinking fast, I think my husband rescued him too soon, just before his bo...	Katy	6	452	Sep 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	taking everything personal (Preview) I get where I take almost everyone and everything people do personally. I know that I am the one with the problem, because there is no way that everyone could be that bad. I don't really understand what is going on, but everything offends me. I don't like being this way. I also start feeling like I am stup...	kath	8	825	Sep 18, 2010 by Carley01
	Today I am feeling good (Preview) I haven't had such a good day in a long time. Well really this week has been quite good, but today seems great. I had a good day yesterday, I put myself first and did not worry so much about HIM. I had lunch with a good friend. I concentrated on work. I was on this board. I got home and he was sober! I mean...	Maize	5	523	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	surgery soon; I will keep you posted! (Preview) I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...	Hoot Nanny	5	1363	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Addictive personality (Preview) Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...	Junko	7	748	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Friday (Preview) Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...	lyndebi	3	657	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling oddly more peaceful (Preview) Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...	Cloudsea	7	769	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Garbage Truck Law (Preview) Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...	Peggy7	8	772	Sep 18, 2010 by Dale
	Okay... so what about ME!? (Preview) Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...	Aloha	3	650	Sep 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	It's all about me (Preview) OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...	fishinmama	2	561	Sep 17, 2010 by Cloudsea
	breaks in the clouds........ (Preview) have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...	mjhyankees	5	720	Sep 17, 2010 by xeno59
	HOTROD ????? (Preview) It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...	RLC	3	602	Sep 17, 2010 by RLC
	Communications... (Preview) This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...	Jerry F	10	915	Sep 16, 2010 by Peggy7
	on dry drunks, honesty and paradigm shifts (Preview) I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...	emp919	6	1149	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	Feelings.......... (Preview) My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...	mjhyankees	6	612	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	And around we go..... (Preview) Why, when the breakdown of a relationship is due to their A issues, do they always act so hurt when you point it out? Perhaps it's not correct to do so but, when it's so obvious that the A is trying to turn the tables to take the focus off them, sometimes, I can't hold back. It pisses me off and I have to say som...	PAH123	7	957	Sep 16, 2010 by PAH123
	Trying to learn to not let my addiction take over (Preview) My addiction to him that is. I need to re-focus and be gentle on myself. If he drinks, I can't do anything about it. If he doesn't answer his cell when I call it, I have to get something else to do. WHen I get home tonight I will find something to do that doesn't revolve around my obsession. I am trying to...	Maize	8	631	Sep 16, 2010 by Maize
	Checking in (Preview) Hi. I didn't go away. Well I guess I did for a while. But I've been going to F2F meetings and I just wanted to check in here. Honestly, it's hard to go to the meetings, and hard to post here. It's like, reminding myself of the whole reality that I already live with anyway! I don't want to live telling my...	applecake	3	591	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	esh needed please (Preview) After 2 weeks and just as I was getting used to the idea of my exaH's decision to have nothing to do with our son, today I get an email from him: Starting this Monday I would like to start seeing (child). If Mondays don't work for you then we will have to pick another day that works for both of us. I would pick h...	Rora	7	806	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Alone forever??? (Preview) It's probably my own issues that I'm reading into everything too much, but I get the distinct feeling that my therapist and many alanonites are hinting that I'm going to be alone or lonely (by this I mean "no partner", no intimate relationship etc.) for the rest of my life and that I sh...	mjhyankees	11	1072	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	I just can't seem to get away from my A... (Preview) I've been separated from my AH, and have decided that I can no longer live with his disease. I've talked to an attorney about divorce, and I have signed a lease on a new place, and plan to move in a couple of weeks. My AH called me on Friday, and asked if I could help him because he had fallen and hit his head. I d...	stopandchat	8	842	Sep 15, 2010 by Mattie
	May I vent? (Preview) It has dawned on me, I am ill, that I am NOT even interested in doing anything for anyone anymore. It is like I am beyond full. this may be long and boring... Been working on a home loan mod for so long I have no idea how long. THIS time I have a mortgage recovery guy doing it. I just could not handle the mistakes...	lyndebi	5	905	Sep 15, 2010 by lyndebi
	I'm new, I'm scared and don't know if I"m ready for this step. (Preview) I've had issues with drinking myself some years ago-was able to get it under control w/out outside help...it wasn't true alcoholism..but I binge/comfort drank after my divorce and healing from a very abusive marriage. I spent 6 years on my own and workign on things before meeting my now bf. I stil...	overit	7	752	Sep 15, 2010 by overit
	What are Your Thoughts and Opinion? (Preview) Numbers vary but statistics say that six or more people are affected by each alcoholic. Each of you can come up with the number that relates in your particular case. The number is arrived at by considering family members, friends, employers, co-workers, and others who are affected. I don't know the...	RLC	18	1343	Sep 15, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Have the courage to speak up!!! You have a voice too!!! (Preview) I love the Courage to Change book!!! Reading this book lately has shown me how to have the courage to speak up when I need to instead of just stewing in the crap. I have a voice too and when things are said or done that I either don't understand or appreciate I can say, "hey wait a minute, I don't think I...	Sanity in the making	4	693	Sep 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	Find Myself Angry Once Again at these Paid Professions.. (Preview) Well, I posted the other day about how my 7 year old grandaughter confided in me about how scared she had been when she was driving with her mother(my d) last week. She had been telling me how fast the car was going, over 90 and close to 100mph and weaving in and out of different lanes of traffic on the highw...	Samsgram	6	1115	Sep 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finished being the Orchestrator, now there's no performance... (Preview) I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately, since deciding to move forward with life without my aH. Life is beginning to be very different, in a good way, mostly. I still have sadness. But I know that I am heading in the right direction and I have reason to be hopeful for my future again. When I refle...	Rora	9	806	Sep 15, 2010 by Maize
	Chicken Soup.... (Preview) LOL!! I rarely if ever get physically ill especially with flus or colds or the like and am now experiencing what that feels like again. I've been blessed for such a long time that this brings up gratitude for all of the past years I've been free of bugs. My spouse offered to make me some chicken soup and I...	Jerry F	9	995	Sep 15, 2010 by Karilynn
	Out of the Pink Cloud.. (Preview) My recovering AH said he has gone through the Pink Cloud and is now having cravings. He had a quite serious one on Friday although he went to the meeting earlier that evening. I noticed he was a bit irritable when he came back but I didn't ask him how he was. Instead, he told me. I listened to him, asked him fe...	Junko	13	1034	Sep 15, 2010 by Junko
	I just don't get it... anyone with experience out there? (Preview) I just don't get it. I thought I was starting to, but I was wrong. Most of the time I've known/been with my X-bf he was a dry drunk. When I met him he had just gotten his 6 year coin and did attend meetings pretty regularly though that was it (no sponsor, no step work, etc) That all ended when he had to get a s...	lizzakiss	4	866	Sep 14, 2010 by melcoulter
	Trying to walk away (Preview) After 2 years in a relationship with an AH, I have lost all feelings for the person I once loved. We have been in treatment 4 separate times, for a total of 6 months out of that two year period. He is still working his own program, rarely going to meetings and his sponsor is his roomate, which makes me thin...	melcoulter	8	821	Sep 14, 2010 by melcoulter
	Sigh......tell me when it gets better.... (Preview) I know it takes time, I know I've got along way to go...but depression hit hard tonight....no precipitating event (that I can think of), just suddenly life seemed black again. I'm trying to find happiness within myself and so far coming up mostly empty....I can divert my attention at times doing thin...	mjhyankees	10	1033	Sep 14, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Point of no return... (Preview) So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...	lizzakiss	6	920	Sep 14, 2010 by White Rabbit
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.