Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I really need some guidance, opions, examples.... how do I know what to do? Just talked to ABF for the first time in 11 days. Turns out he decided not to do his 3 months in lieu of probation and he could be out any day. There were NO questions asked on my part about his future plans. He told me he WANTS to be s...

MDK · MDK

My husband has been on a pill binger for almost two weeks now. I have noticed changes within myself. Instead of screaming or slamming the door I am starting to feel peaceful because I am taking care of myself and children first. I feel so sorry for him because he is going down a path that will eventually le...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My exAH has been in recovery and working a strict program for almost 4 yrs now, and we finally became officially divorced in Jan. Still a lot of pain around it, but for the most part, the crazy insane part of it all is over. I have come to accept what I cannot change (even though I do not like it) and try t...

Melissa Exhausted · Melissa Exhausted

I am new to al-anon, and I was recommended to check the group out to begin to heal, and revert back to my old, happy, positive self. I have been dating an alcoholic for 6 years. At first, I didn't know the extent of his disease, but when I moved in with him a couple of years ago, I figured it out. He wakes up in th...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been with my abf for over six years, i have been in al anon for nearly 4. ou journey has been a bumpy one thanks to alcoholism. he was sober for 6 months then relapesed over 6 months hit rock bottom went to a 6 month rehab then a three months dry house and was doing great. I understood he was sick and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been future-tripping lately--someday in the future my MOM is going to permanately move down to CA w/ my sister. Every time I think of it I get anxiety & somewhat depressed. Now I know that she is going to go there in a few years I still think about it & feel so awful especially when she mentio...

odalis · odalis

You guys have been awesome in sharing. I have a few more questions, although I know you can't tell me what to do, but please share what your experience have been please! So, I'm trying to ignore the drinking behavior of my AH. He comes home today and after saying hello to me and the girls, he grabs a beer and...

Rora · Rora

I am doing quite well these days with detaching. I by no means wish my A harm, but I also don't wish to engage him either. Yesterday, after weeks of not engaging or responding to his ridiculousness, in response to a hurt he caused my son, I text him telling him just what I thought. Never a good idea, I know...

ifa · ifa

I will take a chance and post about this. I think the main reason I left alanon meetings for a while was because of my mother. I did not leave the ideas of the program or the 12 steps, or my HP. I did not feel generally worse off, and I did not become isolated. I found other spiritual connections and things to j...

vizslame · vizslame

Being new is so damned confusing. I have so much crap in my life

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Well, court for the dismissal of the restraining order was this morning. I was so stressed I swear I was gonna be sick right there in the courtroom. They called me up, ABF was brought in from his holding cell and sat at a table to my left. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't know what my reaction would be o...

chinup · chinup

im under lots of stress which usually causes me to run back into my abf arms but no i havent and cant thanks to alanon and all the posts here has really helped me to know which direction i want to stay in....one day at a time still having problems with loneliness,but each and everyday does make a diff. in my t...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, we FINALLY got some news about the DUI stuff and it's a mixed blessing. 10 months has been forever!! Until I see it in writing though I won't know for sure, as I really don't believe what my AH says to me. I would say more now than I did a year ago for sure. The lawyer called him at work and let him know...

Jeff · Jeff

Probably a stupid question....... Im sure my AW is drinking....but can an addict stop substance abuse but still be in denial? Im to blame for everthing from her cheating on me, I caused the pending divorce, caused her to try to kill herself, caused her to lose custody of the kids, and likely the cuase of...

chinup · chinup

right after i left the post on wanting to slip i checked my email and lo and behold he did answer me back with whats up with u girl,sarcastic i took it,i answered him back with a kind words but i know this is all im doing here is because im sooo lonely and he is and was always availableat any given time,lol i do...

Ruby · Ruby

Wondering why I have the need to justify and rationalize to my A/A dr. about why I'm not co-signing for her to get an apt. she lost her previous condo because she cursed and made terrorist threats to the manger, went to jail and had a restraining order against her. I'm not sure yet what condition she l...

chinup · chinup

i know well in my heart that the life i had before with my a/bf didnt and wasnt gonna ever work so did he so we r now separated completely havent heard or seen him in over a month im beginning to miss him sooo very much and wanting to c him agin=mistake,thats my slip,i loved him soo much even though he done me so...

HarleyRyder · HarleyRyder

My wife is currently in a facility for the abuse of prescription pain meds as well as muscle relaxers, she is also a recovering Alcholic (sober 10 years). I work away from home and we keep in contact by phone while I'm away on business. About 5 weeks ago I had tried calling her and the phone went to voice ma...

respect · respect

Hi. This is my first post here. I am in the middle of a life I want to run away from and just needed to let some stuff out. My husband is in a rehab facility for the next 30 days for an addiction to pain meds. It's been on and off for years but in the last 8 months his addiction grew to a level I never thought possibl...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have a chance of a wonderful oppurtunity that could bring great joy and adventure to my life. Then my cycle starts Day 1 - excitement and gusto Day 2 - reservation and hesitancy Day 3 - wishy washy ... maybe and usually on Day 4 I feel the full impact of the old familiar DOOM bubble return because I have bee...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Alls cool here. Well very sunny and warm for days now! River keeps asking me to hop in! I don't know what is making me do so but I am thinking of ex AH a lot. Just him, his face is all. Its ok. I am waiting to see if I feel I need to go see him, to check on him for me. This morn was normal,waking up to birds, chipmunks a...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So its Friday night and I spent it studying w/ my bestfriend. It was good I got alot done but afterwards I wanted to go out and do something. I realized that I have disconnected with all my friends that I barely have any left No one calls me to hang out on the weekends or to do anything. I feel kind of alone ton...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

Ok, so do any Al-anon members still enjoy a drink or two without their A around? I do. I don't do it often, but I have the "luxury" of my husband being a trucker and being able to do things without him seeing me with alcohol in my system or seeing my friends drinking or smelling it. Like I said, I do...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...taking some time to remember a friend in recovery who just past. I'm not sad; I am grateful that he and I met and continued our relationship in recovery. I met Leonard F in 1995 when I took a mutually agreed 5 month look into working for a local alcohol and substance abuse program. We wo...

amm · amm

Hi, So... I'll explain. I've never been to a meeting or to anything really. I guess because i was embarrased about my mom and her drinking. I've been lurking around her for a while and finally decided to post. So here's my story, sorry if its long... My mom started drinking when i was 17. She had never drin...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

In less than 24 hours I'll be in front of the judge dismissing the restraining order. I'm not nervous about doing that. Nervous of my reaction to seeing ABF there as well... in orange... and after not talking to him for a week. Tomorrow is the start of a whole new healing process....and a difficult on...

RLC · RLC

Almost 6 years ago I attended my first meeting. Eight ladies and me. I was as crazy as we all are when I arrived, and I didn't have a clue. All six of those ladies still attend along with 6 or 7 more. They raised me in the program. One of the ladies in particular took me under her wing. She freely gave me what...

Ruby · Ruby

I let my guards down for a minute when my grandson who is homeless, he and gf, baby's mother, are having problems. He called and asked if he could spend the night and wash clothes. I said yes, reluctantly, tonight only. He also has anger management and drug issues. His mother is also homeless, due t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even though I have been going to meetings for years, I have anxiety when I leave them! I think it might be because I share personal things that maybe I should share w/ my sponsor or maybe a close friend that I trust. I just feel so anxious because I have so much healing to do & so much time to think these da...

redrobin78 · redrobin78

My husband is an alcoholic and I have been thinking about going to a meeting for a long time but I am nervous about it. Will everyone in the room have been going for a long time? I don't want to feel like the new person...I don't talk to hardly anyone about the things I go through and when I do I cry....and I do n...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

First I want to thank all of you for your immediate support and attention while I learn the ropes as a Newbie. I've been reading through threads a good part of the day and I'm learning so much already. But I have a question.... More often then not I'm seeing families torn apart by this horrible disease. A...

tlynna · tlynna

Any thoughts/ideas on how much of what a person says when they are drunk is true? There have been quite a few repeating themes in what my AH has said. When sober, he has admitted to saying some of these things to make me mad, but I still wonder. And honestly, many of things he says, when drunk, I believe....

odalis · odalis

Hi everyone, I just want to give you a little background about my situation, then I have a very important question. and I would ike to apologize for making this so long. My husband has a drinking problem. I am still not sure if he is an alcoholic because the difference between an abuser and A are still not c...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I am new to alanon, but have already felt some relief in not being alone by reading other posts! My husband is an alcoholic (~ 6 years). I have been the major breadwinner for the last 10 years. I have worked full time, in a good job, with benefits, and this allowed us to buy a home in 2009. During this t...

Katy · Katy

Good morning mip, and as ever some extremely useful encouraging and difficult situations highlighting the problems we face daily and the solutions. Our son is almost three weeks living life on his terms, I heard yesterday he was having to leave the place he had been staying, that was great news to me,...

sadnewleywed · sadnewleywed

I was married in March of 2011. I knew my future husband was a drinker but not to the extent I am seeing now. He drinks almost every day and by himself. In his car on the way home chugs alcohol to get a rush. He hides alcohol from me and lies to me constantly about drinking. We are arguing over this and he does no...

mslouise · mslouise

Today, I will no longer beat myself up. If I have a bad moment, it will not take over my day. If I cry, oh well!! These moments happen, and is in no way a reflection on me being a bad or weak person. If I stand up for myself and what I believe in, then I will stand tall and proud. If I look at the big picture,...

Lyne · Lyne

When my A hurts me, or I allow myself to be hurt, my mind gets stuck on the hurt and plays it over and over and over again. Sometimes I can get rid of it in a day, and sometimes it takes a few weeks. I guess I joined the message board 2 or 3 wks ago. My mind raced for at least 2 wks from the last episodes of lying an...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi to everyone. This is my first time on the site and from what I've seen I probably should have checked into this sooner. I have yet to go to a meeting, I'm sure it's next on my agenda. My much younger than me boyfriend is an alcoholic. We've been living together for about six months. From the time meet...

chinup · chinup

today im having a real bad day ,trying to fight it away ,ive helped my neibors today helped some now im back home in my own self pity but i know this day will pass also ,feel as though im wanting to have a alanon slip to make my self feel better...not...... it dont work never did never will learned from alanon...

Ruby · Ruby

It's hard for me to keep the focus on me and not react ot my AA/Dr. and her homeless ness, I'm praying for God to remove this pain from my broken heart, I know He will because He's done it before. I've been to 2 f/f meetings this week. The key for me is to stay busy and take care of myself. When I allow myself t...

Thlayli · Thlayli

Hi. I'm new here. I decided to look for an Al-anon site because I've had good experience with other online bulletin boards and also because I just don't know who to talk to IRL. I don't want to go to a real meeting in my community because I work with juveniles and often refer their parents to Al-anon......

Jeff · Jeff

Thanks for all of the support on this issue..... I was provided sole custody today....supervised visits for my AW with no alcohol at any house my kids are at....random alcohol tests for both of us (I volunteered) and the supervisors. Huge sigh of relief for me....its been a long couple of weeks. Thank...

Rip123 · Rip123

I recently called child protective services out of concern for my newphew. My sister has been an addict/alcoholic for 13 years, and now that she has a child, I felt he needed an advocate. I have seen her drive him while drunk, go outside to smoke while he was inside, and she sleeps until about 11 am. He...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi friends...its been over a week since Ive been on here because I have thrown myself into work and anything I can to avoid my feelings. As you probably know, I broke up with my ABF because it got too out of control. Now he is promising the world and telling me how hurt he is. It kills me to see him in so much pai...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I ponder over my life as of today, I realize that I cannot change the past but I wish I could alter it sometimes. I still have a lot of guilt over what I did to my sister while on vacation. It seems like whenever I hurt someone in my family, it is her! Even though the past is the PAST I still feel like I am always...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm dealing with some resentment with the situation because of the not driving issue. My husband asked if I would drive him in early to work that usually means 4 hours early. I don't mind he's been really consistent with getting a ride just no one he works with goes in at that hour. So whatever, that me...

Lozza · Lozza

Hi i struggle every day as an ACOH and I pity my parents as well as loathe them at the same time. It is hard

ifa · ifa

I went to a meeting last night, had not been to one for several years. I was exhausted from not sleeping and had to go to work today. So I thought I should stay home last night and go to bed, but knew I wouldn't sleep anyway, especially with the fireworks. I have been feeling desperate because my qualifier s...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, many of you know that my dh has been drinking again. First he was doing it secretly, then I started just allowing him to do it in the open(maybe that was because I wanted to keep track? maybe it was because I felt he'd be less inclined to hide it?). So, now he does both. DUH! Stupid move on my part. I...

xdanker · xdanker

I WANT TO ADOPT SOME OF THE WAYS A NORMIE THINKS. IM SO JEALOUS. I DONT REMEMBER HOW TO BE SOBER. I HATE DRINKING BUT I STILL DO IT. NEED TIPS ON HOW TO CHANGE. ITS LIKE I FORGET HOW MUCH I HATE IT WHEN IM SOBER. UNTILL THAT BUZ KICKS IN AND I FEEL SO CRAPPY. ITS A DAILY CYCLE FOR 15 YEARS AT LEAST. PLEASE DONT TEL...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I have been missing my MIP peeps! I have been working way too much, but it is peak season where I live and have to take what I can in the Summer months. My lil one just turned 3 and my divorce will be final in 2 weeks. Life has been very complicated and stressful. I do see my blessings in the midst of my life right...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it back safe and sound from my 1100 mile Road trip on my Harley :0) It was Beautiful, we went around the Finger lakes in NY and there was a lot of Very "Country" settings, which is what I love... And being close to the lakes & water was for sure a Bonus... We didn't get Much time to...

Pushka · Pushka

It's the time of the year that I must call upon my skills as a worm whisperer .. lol. We have a good size garden and this year is our second year of planting a garden. I'm very proud of my AH he has a natural green thumb. We've had different ideas and it's all worked out. I have officially been the proud own...

youfoundme · youfoundme

When I actually apply what I am learning and use it in all my affairs, I can see how much better I am getting. I am about to ask someone to sponsor me...I am so nervous but so excited to move on and move forward. At work, I am at the front desk. Someone above me asked me a few weeks ago if I would be interested i...

Pushka · Pushka

So glad I went, I've been a little flaky being consistent recently. Kids home for the summer it's a little harder to get to f2f meetings. It's nice just being with everyone at home. I am always glad I go. The topic was worry and (irrational) fear. Great shares. :) I'm thankful that I have the opportuni...

alexmaui · alexmaui

..I have been to about 6 different meetings all over my town. I found one i liked but it became so big that there was a feeling of being lost in a crowd. Last night i went to a really badly run meeting...all kinds of people who THOUGHT they were funny....pointless sharing- I walked out. So what do you do if yo...

Norma · Norma

I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...

oldergal · oldergal

I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Help? (Preview) I really need some guidance, opions, examples.... how do I know what to do? Just talked to ABF for the first time in 11 days. Turns out he decided not to do his 3 months in lieu of probation and he could be out any day. There were NO questions asked on my part about his future plans. He told me he WANTS to be s...	ELEKTRAWMN	14	644	Jul 12, 2011 by xeno59
	What the program has done for me............ (Preview) My husband has been on a pill binger for almost two weeks now. I have noticed changes within myself. Instead of screaming or slamming the door I am starting to feel peaceful because I am taking care of myself and children first. I feel so sorry for him because he is going down a path that will eventually le...	MDK	8	678	Jul 12, 2011 by Pushka
	won't enter the ring for another round... (Preview) My exAH has been in recovery and working a strict program for almost 4 yrs now, and we finally became officially divorced in Jan. Still a lot of pain around it, but for the most part, the crazy insane part of it all is over. I have come to accept what I cannot change (even though I do not like it) and try t...	Loupiness	5	620	Jul 12, 2011 by Loupiness
	New to Al-Anon, and desperately need it! (Preview) I am new to al-anon, and I was recommended to check the group out to begin to heal, and revert back to my old, happy, positive self. I have been dating an alcoholic for 6 years. At first, I didn't know the extent of his disease, but when I moved in with him a couple of years ago, I figured it out. He wakes up in th...	Melissa Exhausted	9	592	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	need al anon strength. (Preview) I have been with my abf for over six years, i have been in al anon for nearly 4. ou journey has been a bumpy one thanks to alcoholism. he was sober for 6 months then relapesed over 6 months hit rock bottom went to a 6 month rehab then a three months dry house and was doing great. I understood he was sick and...	Tracy	7	464	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	yikes! future tripping (Preview) I have been future-tripping lately--someday in the future my MOM is going to permanately move down to CA w/ my sister. Every time I think of it I get anxiety & somewhat depressed. Now I know that she is going to go there in a few years I still think about it & feel so awful especially when she mentio...	Hoot Nanny	3	833	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	more questions (Preview) You guys have been awesome in sharing. I have a few more questions, although I know you can't tell me what to do, but please share what your experience have been please! So, I'm trying to ignore the drinking behavior of my AH. He comes home today and after saying hello to me and the girls, he grabs a beer and...	odalis	3	644	Jul 11, 2011 by RLC
	Mush brain... (Preview) I am doing quite well these days with detaching. I by no means wish my A harm, but I also don't wish to engage him either. Yesterday, after weeks of not engaging or responding to his ridiculousness, in response to a hurt he caused my son, I text him telling him just what I thought. Never a good idea, I know...	Rora	6	771	Jul 11, 2011 by Rora
	my mother (Preview) I will take a chance and post about this. I think the main reason I left alanon meetings for a while was because of my mother. I did not leave the ideas of the program or the 12 steps, or my HP. I did not feel generally worse off, and I did not become isolated. I found other spiritual connections and things to j...	ifa	11	650	Jul 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	being new (Preview) Being new is so damned confusing. I have so much crap in my life	vizslame	11	630	Jul 11, 2011 by vizslame
	I survived....barely (Preview) Well, court for the dismissal of the restraining order was this morning. I was so stressed I swear I was gonna be sick right there in the courtroom. They called me up, ABF was brought in from his holding cell and sat at a table to my left. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't know what my reaction would be o...	ELEKTRAWMN	4	449	Jul 11, 2011 by Mattie
	trying to stay busy busy to keep mind off things (Preview) im under lots of stress which usually causes me to run back into my abf arms but no i havent and cant thanks to alanon and all the posts here has really helped me to know which direction i want to stay in....one day at a time still having problems with loneliness,but each and everyday does make a diff. in my t...	chinup	2	615	Jul 11, 2011 by hotrod
	Got News .. (Preview) Well, we FINALLY got some news about the DUI stuff and it's a mixed blessing. 10 months has been forever!! Until I see it in writing though I won't know for sure, as I really don't believe what my AH says to me. I would say more now than I did a year ago for sure. The lawyer called him at work and let him know...	Pushka	7	433	Jul 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Not Drinking but Still Denial?? (Preview) Probably a stupid question....... Im sure my AW is drinking....but can an addict stop substance abuse but still be in denial? Im to blame for everthing from her cheating on me, I caused the pending divorce, caused her to try to kill herself, caused her to lose custody of the kids, and likely the cuase of...	Jeff	4	625	Jul 11, 2011 by Jeff
	so far no slip,thank gosh (Preview) right after i left the post on wanting to slip i checked my email and lo and behold he did answer me back with whats up with u girl,sarcastic i took it,i answered him back with a kind words but i know this is all im doing here is because im sooo lonely and he is and was always availableat any given time,lol i do...	chinup	5	620	Jul 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Just say "NO" (Preview) Wondering why I have the need to justify and rationalize to my A/A dr. about why I'm not co-signing for her to get an apt. she lost her previous condo because she cursed and made terrorist threats to the manger, went to jail and had a restraining order against her. I'm not sure yet what condition she l...	Ruby	5	486	Jul 11, 2011 by Otie
	finding myself wanting to slip (Preview) i know well in my heart that the life i had before with my a/bf didnt and wasnt gonna ever work so did he so we r now separated completely havent heard or seen him in over a month im beginning to miss him sooo very much and wanting to c him agin=mistake,thats my slip,i loved him soo much even though he done me so...	chinup	4	411	Jul 11, 2011 by All I can be
	Prescription Pain Meds (Preview) My wife is currently in a facility for the abuse of prescription pain meds as well as muscle relaxers, she is also a recovering Alcholic (sober 10 years). I work away from home and we keep in contact by phone while I'm away on business. About 5 weeks ago I had tried calling her and the phone went to voice ma...	HarleyRyder	4	939	Jul 11, 2011 by Otie
	My life is a mess (Preview) Hi. This is my first post here. I am in the middle of a life I want to run away from and just needed to let some stuff out. My husband is in a rehab facility for the next 30 days for an addiction to pain meds. It's been on and off for years but in the last 8 months his addiction grew to a level I never thought possibl...	respect	5	711	Jul 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I see my sickness surfacing (Preview) I have a chance of a wonderful oppurtunity that could bring great joy and adventure to my life. Then my cycle starts Day 1 - excitement and gusto Day 2 - reservation and hesitancy Day 3 - wishy washy ... maybe and usually on Day 4 I feel the full impact of the old familiar DOOM bubble return because I have bee...	Jennifer	5	595	Jul 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	saturday morn (Preview) Alls cool here. Well very sunny and warm for days now! River keeps asking me to hop in! I don't know what is making me do so but I am thinking of ex AH a lot. Just him, his face is all. Its ok. I am waiting to see if I feel I need to go see him, to check on him for me. This morn was normal,waking up to birds, chipmunks a...	Debilyn	8	646	Jul 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	Reconnection (Preview) So its Friday night and I spent it studying w/ my bestfriend. It was good I got alot done but afterwards I wanted to go out and do something. I realized that I have disconnected with all my friends that I barely have any left No one calls me to hang out on the weekends or to do anything. I feel kind of alone ton...	Betterfuture	9	550	Jul 10, 2011 by Betterfuture
	an interesting question (Preview) Ok, so do any Al-anon members still enjoy a drink or two without their A around? I do. I don't do it often, but I have the "luxury" of my husband being a trucker and being able to do things without him seeing me with alcohol in my system or seeing my friends drinking or smelling it. Like I said, I do...	Kristi136188	11	611	Jul 10, 2011 by Otie
	Leonard F has left the room.... (Preview) Aloha Family...taking some time to remember a friend in recovery who just past. I'm not sad; I am grateful that he and I met and continued our relationship in recovery. I met Leonard F in 1995 when I took a mutually agreed 5 month look into working for a local alcohol and substance abuse program. We wo...	Jerry F	14	637	Jul 10, 2011 by Ness
	Hi, I'm new and I have questions (Preview) Hi, So... I'll explain. I've never been to a meeting or to anything really. I guess because i was embarrased about my mom and her drinking. I've been lurking around her for a while and finally decided to post. So here's my story, sorry if its long... My mom started drinking when i was 17. She had never drin...	amm	10	574	Jul 10, 2011 by amm
	Nervousness has set in (just letting some things out) (Preview) In less than 24 hours I'll be in front of the judge dismissing the restraining order. I'm not nervous about doing that. Nervous of my reaction to seeing ABF there as well... in orange... and after not talking to him for a week. Tomorrow is the start of a whole new healing process....and a difficult on...	ELEKTRAWMN	4	474	Jul 10, 2011 by xeno59
	It never Dies.......It's Always Lurking (Preview) Almost 6 years ago I attended my first meeting. Eight ladies and me. I was as crazy as we all are when I arrived, and I didn't have a clue. All six of those ladies still attend along with 6 or 7 more. They raised me in the program. One of the ladies in particular took me under her wing. She freely gave me what...	RLC	12	1064	Jul 10, 2011 by Lyne
	Prayers please (Preview) I let my guards down for a minute when my grandson who is homeless, he and gf, baby's mother, are having problems. He called and asked if he could spend the night and wash clothes. I said yes, reluctantly, tonight only. He also has anger management and drug issues. His mother is also homeless, due t...	Ruby	7	492	Jul 10, 2011 by tommyecat
	still anxiety after meetings (Preview) Even though I have been going to meetings for years, I have anxiety when I leave them! I think it might be because I share personal things that maybe I should share w/ my sponsor or maybe a close friend that I trust. I just feel so anxious because I have so much healing to do & so much time to think these da...	Hoot Nanny	4	561	Jul 10, 2011 by tommyecat
	Nervous about going to Al-Anon meeting (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic and I have been thinking about going to a meeting for a long time but I am nervous about it. Will everyone in the room have been going for a long time? I don't want to feel like the new person...I don't talk to hardly anyone about the things I go through and when I do I cry....and I do n...	redrobin78	11	1053	Jul 10, 2011 by flinn66
	Is it possible??? (Preview) First I want to thank all of you for your immediate support and attention while I learn the ropes as a Newbie. I've been reading through threads a good part of the day and I'm learning so much already. But I have a question.... More often then not I'm seeing families torn apart by this horrible disease. A...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	716	Jul 10, 2011 by alexmaui
	How much of what they say when drunk is true? (Preview) Any thoughts/ideas on how much of what a person says when they are drunk is true? There have been quite a few repeating themes in what my AH has said. When sober, he has admitted to saying some of these things to make me mad, but I still wonder. And honestly, many of things he says, when drunk, I believe....	tlynna	10	3205	Jul 10, 2011 by flinn66
	Hi I am new here and have a question (Preview) Hi everyone, I just want to give you a little background about my situation, then I have a very important question. and I would ike to apologize for making this so long. My husband has a drinking problem. I am still not sure if he is an alcoholic because the difference between an abuser and A are still not c...	odalis	8	656	Jul 10, 2011 by flinn66
	how to not be a victim when you are being villainized? (Preview) I am new to alanon, but have already felt some relief in not being alone by reading other posts! My husband is an alcoholic (~ 6 years). I have been the major breadwinner for the last 10 years. I have worked full time, in a good job, with benefits, and this allowed us to buy a home in 2009. During this t...	Iris lover of dogs	10	4230	Jul 9, 2011 by xeno59
	Learnt behaviours! (Preview) Good morning mip, and as ever some extremely useful encouraging and difficult situations highlighting the problems we face daily and the solutions. Our son is almost three weeks living life on his terms, I heard yesterday he was having to leave the place he had been staying, that was great news to me,...	Katy	7	612	Jul 9, 2011 by Ness
	Newlywed with Alcoholic husband (Preview) I was married in March of 2011. I knew my future husband was a drinker but not to the extent I am seeing now. He drinks almost every day and by himself. In his car on the way home chugs alcohol to get a rush. He hides alcohol from me and lies to me constantly about drinking. We are arguing over this and he does no...	sadnewleywed	8	1383	Jul 8, 2011 by redrobin78
	For today love myself (Preview) Today, I will no longer beat myself up. If I have a bad moment, it will not take over my day. If I cry, oh well!! These moments happen, and is in no way a reflection on me being a bad or weak person. If I stand up for myself and what I believe in, then I will stand tall and proud. If I look at the big picture,...	mslouise	8	462	Jul 8, 2011 by Corgi2
	obsessive thinking (Preview) When my A hurts me, or I allow myself to be hurt, my mind gets stuck on the hurt and plays it over and over and over again. Sometimes I can get rid of it in a day, and sometimes it takes a few weeks. I guess I joined the message board 2 or 3 wks ago. My mind raced for at least 2 wks from the last episodes of lying an...	Lyne	8	691	Jul 8, 2011 by Pushka
	Hello. New here. (Preview) Hi to everyone. This is my first time on the site and from what I've seen I probably should have checked into this sooner. I have yet to go to a meeting, I'm sure it's next on my agenda. My much younger than me boyfriend is an alcoholic. We've been living together for about six months. From the time meet...	ELEKTRAWMN	10	538	Jul 8, 2011 by Pushka
	bad day (Preview) today im having a real bad day ,trying to fight it away ,ive helped my neibors today helped some now im back home in my own self pity but i know this day will pass also ,feel as though im wanting to have a alanon slip to make my self feel better...not...... it dont work never did never will learned from alanon...	chinup	2	393	Jul 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	kEEPING THE FOCUS ON ME (Preview) It's hard for me to keep the focus on me and not react ot my AA/Dr. and her homeless ness, I'm praying for God to remove this pain from my broken heart, I know He will because He's done it before. I've been to 2 f/f meetings this week. The key for me is to stay busy and take care of myself. When I allow myself t...	Ruby	4	1158	Jul 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	New here (Preview) Hi. I'm new here. I decided to look for an Al-anon site because I've had good experience with other online bulletin boards and also because I just don't know who to talk to IRL. I don't want to go to a real meeting in my community because I work with juveniles and often refer their parents to Al-anon......	Thlayli	11	414	Jul 8, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Custody of my boys (Preview) Thanks for all of the support on this issue..... I was provided sole custody today....supervised visits for my AW with no alcohol at any house my kids are at....random alcohol tests for both of us (I volunteered) and the supervisors. Huge sigh of relief for me....its been a long couple of weeks. Thank...	Jeff	11	511	Jul 8, 2011 by RLC
	Don't know what to do (Preview) I recently called child protective services out of concern for my newphew. My sister has been an addict/alcoholic for 13 years, and now that she has a child, I felt he needed an advocate. I have seen her drive him while drunk, go outside to smoke while he was inside, and she sleeps until about 11 am. He...	Rip123	7	634	Jul 8, 2011 by Rip123
	Just need to be here (Preview) Hi friends...its been over a week since Ive been on here because I have thrown myself into work and anything I can to avoid my feelings. As you probably know, I broke up with my ABF because it got too out of control. Now he is promising the world and telling me how hurt he is. It kills me to see him in so much pai...	Corgi2	7	595	Jul 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	as I ponder... (Preview) As I ponder over my life as of today, I realize that I cannot change the past but I wish I could alter it sometimes. I still have a lot of guilt over what I did to my sister while on vacation. It seems like whenever I hurt someone in my family, it is her! Even though the past is the PAST I still feel like I am always...	Hoot Nanny	3	421	Jul 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Collateral Damage .. (vent) (Preview) I'm dealing with some resentment with the situation because of the not driving issue. My husband asked if I would drive him in early to work that usually means 4 hours early. I don't mind he's been really consistent with getting a ride just no one he works with goes in at that hour. So whatever, that me...	Pushka	2	506	Jul 8, 2011 by Katy
	The Black Dog follows me around not sure what this means (Preview) Hi i struggle every day as an ACOH and I pity my parents as well as loathe them at the same time. It is hard	Lozza	3	624	Jul 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	meeting (Preview) I went to a meeting last night, had not been to one for several years. I was exhausted from not sleeping and had to go to work today. So I thought I should stay home last night and go to bed, but knew I wouldn't sleep anyway, especially with the fireworks. I have been feeling desperate because my qualifier s...	ifa	11	680	Jul 7, 2011 by freeagain
	Help me out here (Preview) So, many of you know that my dh has been drinking again. First he was doing it secretly, then I started just allowing him to do it in the open(maybe that was because I wanted to keep track? maybe it was because I felt he'd be less inclined to hide it?). So, now he does both. DUH! Stupid move on my part. I...	ilovedogs	12	795	Jul 7, 2011 by Iris lover of dogs
	HOW DO NORMIES THINK (Preview) I WANT TO ADOPT SOME OF THE WAYS A NORMIE THINKS. IM SO JEALOUS. I DONT REMEMBER HOW TO BE SOBER. I HATE DRINKING BUT I STILL DO IT. NEED TIPS ON HOW TO CHANGE. ITS LIKE I FORGET HOW MUCH I HATE IT WHEN IM SOBER. UNTILL THAT BUZ KICKS IN AND I FEEL SO CRAPPY. ITS A DAILY CYCLE FOR 15 YEARS AT LEAST. PLEASE DONT TEL...	xdanker	12	1204	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Been too busy! (Preview) I have been missing my MIP peeps! I have been working way too much, but it is peak season where I live and have to take what I can in the Summer months. My lil one just turned 3 and my divorce will be final in 2 weeks. Life has been very complicated and stressful. I do see my blessings in the midst of my life right...	flopadopilus	4	501	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Made it Back :) (Preview) Welp... Made it back safe and sound from my 1100 mile Road trip on my Harley :0) It was Beautiful, we went around the Finger lakes in NY and there was a lot of Very "Country" settings, which is what I love... And being close to the lakes & water was for sure a Bonus... We didn't get Much time to...	Jozie	6	518	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Worm Whisperer (Preview) It's the time of the year that I must call upon my skills as a worm whisperer .. lol. We have a good size garden and this year is our second year of planting a garden. I'm very proud of my AH he has a natural green thumb. We've had different ideas and it's all worked out. I have officially been the proud own...	Pushka	9	555	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Every day is a winding road (Preview) When I actually apply what I am learning and use it in all my affairs, I can see how much better I am getting. I am about to ask someone to sponsor me...I am so nervous but so excited to move on and move forward. At work, I am at the front desk. Someone above me asked me a few weeks ago if I would be interested i...	youfoundme	5	335	Jul 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Meeting tonight .. (Preview) So glad I went, I've been a little flaky being consistent recently. Kids home for the summer it's a little harder to get to f2f meetings. It's nice just being with everyone at home. I am always glad I go. The topic was worry and (irrational) fear. Great shares. :) I'm thankful that I have the opportuni...	Pushka	2	430	Jul 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Disappointed in f2f meetings (Preview) ..I have been to about 6 different meetings all over my town. I found one i liked but it became so big that there was a feeling of being lost in a crowd. Last night i went to a really badly run meeting...all kinds of people who THOUGHT they were funny....pointless sharing- I walked out. So what do you do if yo...	alexmaui	11	630	Jul 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	cycle of abuse, or dry drunk (Preview) I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...	Norma	5	969	Jul 7, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Working My Program- One Day at a Time (Preview) The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...	Green Eyes	7	651	Jul 6, 2011 by Green Eyes
	FEELING BLAU, NO ENERGY, NO PASSION (Preview) I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...	oldergal	8	556	Jul 6, 2011 by Ness
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.