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Just say "NO"
(Preview)
Wondering why I have the need to justify and rationalize to my A/A dr. about why I'm not co-signing for her to get an apt. she lost her previous condo because she cursed and made terrorist threats to the manger, went to jail and had a restraining order against her. I'm not sure yet what condition she l...
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Ruby
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5
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454
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finding myself wanting to slip
(Preview)
i know well in my heart that the life i had before with my a/bf didnt and wasnt gonna ever work so did he so we r now separated completely havent heard or seen him in over a month im beginning to miss him sooo very much and wanting to c him agin=mistake,thats my slip,i loved him soo much even though he done me so...
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chinup
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4
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386
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Prescription Pain Meds
(Preview)
My wife is currently in a facility for the abuse of prescription pain meds as well as muscle relaxers, she is also a recovering Alcholic (sober 10 years). I work away from home and we keep in contact by phone while I'm away on business. About 5 weeks ago I had tried calling her and the phone went to voice ma...
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HarleyRyder
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4
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913
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My life is a mess
(Preview)
Hi. This is my first post here. I am in the middle of a life I want to run away from and just needed to let some stuff out. My husband is in a rehab facility for the next 30 days for an addiction to pain meds. It's been on and off for years but in the last 8 months his addiction grew to a level I never thought possibl...
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respect
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5
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681
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I see my sickness surfacing
(Preview)
I have a chance of a wonderful oppurtunity that could bring great joy and adventure to my life. Then my cycle starts Day 1 - excitement and gusto Day 2 - reservation and hesitancy Day 3 - wishy washy ... maybe and usually on Day 4 I feel the full impact of the old familiar DOOM bubble return because I have bee...
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Jennifer
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5
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567
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saturday morn
(Preview)
Alls cool here. Well very sunny and warm for days now! River keeps asking me to hop in! I don't know what is making me do so but I am thinking of ex AH a lot. Just him, his face is all. Its ok. I am waiting to see if I feel I need to go see him, to check on him for me. This morn was normal,waking up to birds, chipmunks a...
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Debilyn
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8
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619
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Reconnection
(Preview)
So its Friday night and I spent it studying w/ my bestfriend. It was good I got alot done but afterwards I wanted to go out and do something. I realized that I have disconnected with all my friends that I barely have any left No one calls me to hang out on the weekends or to do anything. I feel kind of alone ton...
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Betterfuture
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9
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522
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an interesting question
(Preview)
Ok, so do any Al-anon members still enjoy a drink or two without their A around? I do. I don't do it often, but I have the "luxury" of my husband being a trucker and being able to do things without him seeing me with alcohol in my system or seeing my friends drinking or smelling it. Like I said, I do...
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Kristi136188
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11
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585
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Leonard F has left the room....
(Preview)
Aloha Family...taking some time to remember a friend in recovery who just past. I'm not sad; I am grateful that he and I met and continued our relationship in recovery. I met Leonard F in 1995 when I took a mutually agreed 5 month look into working for a local alcohol and substance abuse program. We wo...
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Jerry F
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14
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609
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Hi, I'm new and I have questions
(Preview)
Hi, So... I'll explain. I've never been to a meeting or to anything really. I guess because i was embarrased about my mom and her drinking. I've been lurking around her for a while and finally decided to post. So here's my story, sorry if its long... My mom started drinking when i was 17. She had never drin...
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amm
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10
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546
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Nervousness has set in (just letting some things out)
(Preview)
In less than 24 hours I'll be in front of the judge dismissing the restraining order. I'm not nervous about doing that. Nervous of my reaction to seeing ABF there as well... in orange... and after not talking to him for a week. Tomorrow is the start of a whole new healing process....and a difficult on...
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ELEKTRAWMN
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4
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446
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It never Dies.......It's Always Lurking
(Preview)
Almost 6 years ago I attended my first meeting. Eight ladies and me. I was as crazy as we all are when I arrived, and I didn't have a clue. All six of those ladies still attend along with 6 or 7 more. They raised me in the program. One of the ladies in particular took me under her wing. She freely gave me what...
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RLC
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12
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1023
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Prayers please
(Preview)
I let my guards down for a minute when my grandson who is homeless, he and gf, baby's mother, are having problems. He called and asked if he could spend the night and wash clothes. I said yes, reluctantly, tonight only. He also has anger management and drug issues. His mother is also homeless, due t...
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Ruby
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7
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466
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still anxiety after meetings
(Preview)
Even though I have been going to meetings for years, I have anxiety when I leave them! I think it might be because I share personal things that maybe I should share w/ my sponsor or maybe a close friend that I trust. I just feel so anxious because I have so much healing to do & so much time to think these da...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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532
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Nervous about going to Al-Anon meeting
(Preview)
My husband is an alcoholic and I have been thinking about going to a meeting for a long time but I am nervous about it. Will everyone in the room have been going for a long time? I don't want to feel like the new person...I don't talk to hardly anyone about the things I go through and when I do I cry....and I do n...
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redrobin78
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11
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1016
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Is it possible???
(Preview)
First I want to thank all of you for your immediate support and attention while I learn the ropes as a Newbie. I've been reading through threads a good part of the day and I'm learning so much already. But I have a question.... More often then not I'm seeing families torn apart by this horrible disease. A...
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ELEKTRAWMN
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11
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679
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How much of what they say when drunk is true?
(Preview)
Any thoughts/ideas on how much of what a person says when they are drunk is true? There have been quite a few repeating themes in what my AH has said. When sober, he has admitted to saying some of these things to make me mad, but I still wonder. And honestly, many of things he says, when drunk, I believe....
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tlynna
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10
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3083
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Hi I am new here and have a question
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I just want to give you a little background about my situation, then I have a very important question. and I would ike to apologize for making this so long. My husband has a drinking problem. I am still not sure if he is an alcoholic because the difference between an abuser and A are still not c...
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odalis
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8
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629
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how to not be a victim when you are being villainized?
(Preview)
I am new to alanon, but have already felt some relief in not being alone by reading other posts! My husband is an alcoholic (~ 6 years). I have been the major breadwinner for the last 10 years. I have worked full time, in a good job, with benefits, and this allowed us to buy a home in 2009. During this t...
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Iris lover of dogs
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10
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3920
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Learnt behaviours!
(Preview)
Good morning mip, and as ever some extremely useful encouraging and difficult situations highlighting the problems we face daily and the solutions. Our son is almost three weeks living life on his terms, I heard yesterday he was having to leave the place he had been staying, that was great news to me,...
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Katy
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7
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585
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Newlywed with Alcoholic husband
(Preview)
I was married in March of 2011. I knew my future husband was a drinker but not to the extent I am seeing now. He drinks almost every day and by himself. In his car on the way home chugs alcohol to get a rush. He hides alcohol from me and lies to me constantly about drinking. We are arguing over this and he does no...
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sadnewleywed
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8
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1356
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For today love myself
(Preview)
Today, I will no longer beat myself up. If I have a bad moment, it will not take over my day. If I cry, oh well!! These moments happen, and is in no way a reflection on me being a bad or weak person. If I stand up for myself and what I believe in, then I will stand tall and proud. If I look at the big picture,...
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mslouise
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8
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437
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obsessive thinking
(Preview)
When my A hurts me, or I allow myself to be hurt, my mind gets stuck on the hurt and plays it over and over and over again. Sometimes I can get rid of it in a day, and sometimes it takes a few weeks. I guess I joined the message board 2 or 3 wks ago. My mind raced for at least 2 wks from the last episodes of lying an...
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Lyne
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8
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664
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Hello. New here.
(Preview)
Hi to everyone. This is my first time on the site and from what I've seen I probably should have checked into this sooner. I have yet to go to a meeting, I'm sure it's next on my agenda. My much younger than me boyfriend is an alcoholic. We've been living together for about six months. From the time meet...
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ELEKTRAWMN
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10
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508
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bad day
(Preview)
today im having a real bad day ,trying to fight it away ,ive helped my neibors today helped some now im back home in my own self pity but i know this day will pass also ,feel as though im wanting to have a alanon slip to make my self feel better...not...... it dont work never did never will learned from alanon...
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chinup
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2
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367
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kEEPING THE FOCUS ON ME
(Preview)
It's hard for me to keep the focus on me and not react ot my AA/Dr. and her homeless ness, I'm praying for God to remove this pain from my broken heart, I know He will because He's done it before. I've been to 2 f/f meetings this week. The key for me is to stay busy and take care of myself. When I allow myself t...
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Ruby
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4
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1132
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New here
(Preview)
Hi. I'm new here. I decided to look for an Al-anon site because I've had good experience with other online bulletin boards and also because I just don't know who to talk to IRL. I don't want to go to a real meeting in my community because I work with juveniles and often refer their parents to Al-anon......
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Thlayli
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11
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388
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Custody of my boys
(Preview)
Thanks for all of the support on this issue..... I was provided sole custody today....supervised visits for my AW with no alcohol at any house my kids are at....random alcohol tests for both of us (I volunteered) and the supervisors. Huge sigh of relief for me....its been a long couple of weeks. Thank...
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Jeff
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11
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483
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Don't know what to do
(Preview)
I recently called child protective services out of concern for my newphew. My sister has been an addict/alcoholic for 13 years, and now that she has a child, I felt he needed an advocate. I have seen her drive him while drunk, go outside to smoke while he was inside, and she sleeps until about 11 am. He...
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Rip123
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7
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608
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Just need to be here
(Preview)
Hi friends...its been over a week since Ive been on here because I have thrown myself into work and anything I can to avoid my feelings. As you probably know, I broke up with my ABF because it got too out of control. Now he is promising the world and telling me how hurt he is. It kills me to see him in so much pai...
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Corgi2
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7
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568
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as I ponder...
(Preview)
As I ponder over my life as of today, I realize that I cannot change the past but I wish I could alter it sometimes. I still have a lot of guilt over what I did to my sister while on vacation. It seems like whenever I hurt someone in my family, it is her! Even though the past is the PAST I still feel like I am always...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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394
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Collateral Damage .. (vent)
(Preview)
I'm dealing with some resentment with the situation because of the not driving issue. My husband asked if I would drive him in early to work that usually means 4 hours early. I don't mind he's been really consistent with getting a ride just no one he works with goes in at that hour. So whatever, that me...
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Pushka
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2
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479
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The Black Dog follows me around
(Preview)
Hi i struggle every day as an ACOH and I pity my parents as well as loathe them at the same time. It is hard
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Lozza
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3
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581
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meeting
(Preview)
I went to a meeting last night, had not been to one for several years. I was exhausted from not sleeping and had to go to work today. So I thought I should stay home last night and go to bed, but knew I wouldn't sleep anyway, especially with the fireworks. I have been feeling desperate because my qualifier s...
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ifa
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11
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651
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Help me out here
(Preview)
So, many of you know that my dh has been drinking again. First he was doing it secretly, then I started just allowing him to do it in the open(maybe that was because I wanted to keep track? maybe it was because I felt he'd be less inclined to hide it?). So, now he does both. DUH! Stupid move on my part. I...
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ilovedogs
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12
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765
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HOW DO NORMIES THINK
(Preview)
I WANT TO ADOPT SOME OF THE WAYS A NORMIE THINKS. IM SO JEALOUS. I DONT REMEMBER HOW TO BE SOBER. I HATE DRINKING BUT I STILL DO IT. NEED TIPS ON HOW TO CHANGE. ITS LIKE I FORGET HOW MUCH I HATE IT WHEN IM SOBER. UNTILL THAT BUZ KICKS IN AND I FEEL SO CRAPPY. ITS A DAILY CYCLE FOR 15 YEARS AT LEAST. PLEASE DONT TEL...
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xdanker
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12
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1162
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Been too busy!
(Preview)
I have been missing my MIP peeps! I have been working way too much, but it is peak season where I live and have to take what I can in the Summer months. My lil one just turned 3 and my divorce will be final in 2 weeks. Life has been very complicated and stressful. I do see my blessings in the midst of my life right...
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flopadopilus
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4
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475
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Made it Back :)
(Preview)
Welp... Made it back safe and sound from my 1100 mile Road trip on my Harley :0) It was Beautiful, we went around the Finger lakes in NY and there was a lot of Very "Country" settings, which is what I love... And being close to the lakes & water was for sure a Bonus... We didn't get Much time to...
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Jozie
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6
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493
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Worm Whisperer
(Preview)
It's the time of the year that I must call upon my skills as a worm whisperer .. lol. We have a good size garden and this year is our second year of planting a garden. I'm very proud of my AH he has a natural green thumb. We've had different ideas and it's all worked out. I have officially been the proud own...
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Pushka
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9
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522
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Every day is a winding road
(Preview)
When I actually apply what I am learning and use it in all my affairs, I can see how much better I am getting. I am about to ask someone to sponsor me...I am so nervous but so excited to move on and move forward. At work, I am at the front desk. Someone above me asked me a few weeks ago if I would be interested i...
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youfoundme
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5
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309
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Meeting tonight ..
(Preview)
So glad I went, I've been a little flaky being consistent recently. Kids home for the summer it's a little harder to get to f2f meetings. It's nice just being with everyone at home. I am always glad I go. The topic was worry and (irrational) fear. Great shares. :) I'm thankful that I have the opportuni...
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Pushka
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2
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404
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Disappointed in f2f meetings
(Preview)
..I have been to about 6 different meetings all over my town. I found one i liked but it became so big that there was a feeling of being lost in a crowd. Last night i went to a really badly run meeting...all kinds of people who THOUGHT they were funny....pointless sharing- I walked out. So what do you do if yo...
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alexmaui
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11
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600
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cycle of abuse, or dry drunk
(Preview)
I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...
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Norma
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5
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939
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Working My Program- One Day at a Time
(Preview)
The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...
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Green Eyes
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7
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630
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FEELING BLAU, NO ENERGY, NO PASSION
(Preview)
I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...
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oldergal
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8
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523
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New here - needed to vent
(Preview)
I'm new to this so bare with me. I just really needed a place to vent. My husband admitted himself into a 10 month rehab program last thursday. He's been a drug addict for about 19 years. It started with heroin in his teens and is now opiates and all kinds of pain killers. I left him 2 years ago, got a divorce,...
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MixedFeelings
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11
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668
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aloha
(Preview)
Hi all.... just got back from an awesome week of suntanning and being a tourist in Oahu, with my Mom and my two awesome kids.... It was a wonderful holiday, and I loved the beauty, the heat, and the people.... To all of our residents of Hawaii on MIP, I am officially jealous of your place of residence!! To...
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canadianguy
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9
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905
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Should I be concerned about her drinking?
(Preview)
Hello My stepson's fiance is a wonderful young lady & I think very highly of her. Yesterday for the 7/4 holiday, they came over for a visit. Around 3p she opened the bottle of wine she brought saying she couldn't wait for dinner. By 8pm she had drank the entire bottle of wine. The more she drank, the l...
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HopeAlive
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5
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493
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hello
(Preview)
hi, im new to this sight, my husband is a alcoholic, ive been going to go to a al-anon meeting but i live in a small town, and am afriad od who i will run into, i hope this sight will help me, i need friends that know how i feel. any way well see if im doing this right
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lissa
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5
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469
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How does HP answer/guide you?
(Preview)
Still struggling with the Higher Power concept here. It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for. I know I can't trust my "inner voice" because that is the one that plays all the old negative tapes from my childhood and tells me I'm stupid, worthl...
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ythannah
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14
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566
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Follow up to my previous post about daughter & grandaughter
(Preview)
I don`t know if any of you remember how I spoke to an officer at one point in time after I heard about my daughter slamming my gd into the wall because she didn`t like her having feelings. I told him how dcf has never been there for this child neither has the school. My daughter seems to have manipulated many...
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Samsgram
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7
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499
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New Member
(Preview)
Hello to all. I am oldgraduate and have just joined. I have a long history with a drinker, my husband. He will say he's not an alcoholic, but uses alcohol in a nonconstructive way. I grew up believing all drinking was wrong, he grew up seeing his family drink every day. We have had issues in our marriage of...
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oldgraduate
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6
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630
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For Otie
(Preview)
And this is the Stinker you wanted me to kiss for you???? Are you a nutcase??? hugs honey. debilyn
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Debilyn
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0
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324
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New to any kind of support
(Preview)
Hi I am new to this. I am a daughter of an alcholic/drug abuser. I have a teen daughter who's father (estranged for 12 years) died of a heroin overdose last year and recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after figuring out he is most likely an alchoholic. My daughter is doing very well and we have gr...
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jqueen
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4
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362
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Grief
(Preview)
Hi, I have been doing the 12 steps for a long time, maybe 20 years, although I have not been to meetings in the past 10. A lot of the meetings around here closed. Also I got very busy. But the 12 steps and slogans of alanon have been the philosophy I try to live by, and they got me through all kinds of sorrows. I...
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ifa
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11
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697
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Daughter hit my grandaughter again
(Preview)
Sorry but I feel like I`am just spewing same ole crap over and over. I feel lost and alone. My daughter has been hitting my gd at least once a week lately. Tonite the phone rings late and I didnt get it on time. I called their house back. (btw she has been with me for the past 4-5 days and this is her first nite ba...
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Samsgram
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8
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605
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Really would appreciate some advice partner recovering but talking of drinking someday again
(Preview)
Hi i'm Christine and i'm writing for some advice I hope someone can help me with I really don't know who to speak to about this. I really admire your organisation and think you do a great thing for all those that don't really have other people to discuss about their loved one's drinking problem. The situ...
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cdane
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5
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506
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I think i found step 1
(Preview)
I wrote this to her the other day. Thought I might share it "I was talking with adam yesterday about my life , and his. We spoke for several hours. We both have had a great talk to clear each others' hearts and minds. I can say he is my best true friend. At the end of the day I realized you abused me. Im not...
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jamfu
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3
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361
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step 2....being VERY tested
(Preview)
I've had a VERY rough weekend. I thought it was going to be wonderful because my husband was in town and we were having some extra money. It started on Friday. I took my cat to the vet because he had been pretty sick and not eating. Come to find out my cat was in liver failure and dying. So I had to put him to slee...
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Kristi136188
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5
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468
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sad
(Preview)
wife has been sober for four months, kids are starting to trust her and they have been so happy having her. She drank at the neighborhood 4th of July party, she was visibly intoxicated. I had to send her home. I haven't and am not going to tell the kids, but they might figure it out. Program is so much ea...
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DadtoCandE
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5
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557
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