Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

youfoundme · youfoundme

A friendly Canadian guy on this very board has offered me some information that after reading and re-reading it I felt I needed to offer a piece of it here and share about it... From Toby Rice Drews: "When we feel that he holds all the cards....... when we feel that there is no way that we can make it wi...

Ashley1723 · Ashley1723

My Brother started drinking when he was in high school "casually," and then turned into a weekend and night time partier after he graduated. About five years ago his wife left him unexpectedly and started dating his friend, which made him turn to alcohol. He drank from the time he got off wo...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So my AH texted me today saying "I don't drink around our daughter and you know when my days off are you are keeping her away from me" He wanted to pick her up yesterday so he called yesterday and left a message I ignored him but later texted him back saying that he should call ahead of time when he...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Happy Summer :). I hope you are all doing well. Several months ago I moved out of my home with my 10 month old baby. Two months later my husband went to an inpatient treatment center for alcoholism. Today is four weeks since his release from that program. He is attending outpatient trea...

Freya · Freya

I just had a call from an alcoholic relative telling me they have a week to leave their home due to being evicted for not paying the rent, and then breaking a court agreement to pay the arrears in installments. This in the week after she spent hundreds on birthday presents for her son and for his school pr...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Aaarrgh! I struggle with understanding if I am detaching, or being a flaky parent. My son will turn 18 at the end of the month, and has made it clear that he intends to move out. While I got him home a few months ago, he pretty much just holed himself up in his room, and gradually separated himself so that h...

respect · respect

Well, I took the alcohol questionaire like you all suggested and the results were as I predicted. A wrecked car, infidelity, and a sad heart told me the answer before I even had to ask. I told my husband today about my infidelity. He took it rather well. He is still in rehab for pain pills so it was over the...

Katy · Katy

Good morning Mip, Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hu...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am just keeping honest here, so I want to say this now. My bf last week starting Wednesday gave me his debit and credit cards to hold on to so he wouldn't buy alcohol during the day. At first I hestitated because I thought "I don't need to babysit his cards so he won't drink" but then I felt th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just was reminded by another MIP member that I had not yet shared here what I shared on the other board the other day...After a buncha us guys and gals got together to console ourselves about the passing of my friend Leonard F I got a Facebook and more from others that LEONARD WAS ALIVE!! Visions of the m...

pessimisticallyoptimistic · pessimisticallyoptimistic

Hi:) Okay, so my DH has been sober for 11 months now. I'm 9 months pregnant. He was raised by his Mom & Step-Dad. I believe all his depression/addiction issues originated with the absence of his birth father. He desperately wanted to know him. His Mom left with him when he was a baby. Accordin...

Keel Man · Keel Man

Hi All, I am new to this so please have patience with me. My wife is an A and has been sober for 1/2 year. She has a sponsor (F) who is real nice, I have met her and she has this "Mentor" (M) who we will call Bob. she and Bob spend sometimes several hrs on the phone and many texts back and forth almost ev...

chinup · chinup

going to my 12 step meetings every tues nite,working out of my 12 step workbook,going out to learn how to line dance,going to some open aa meetings with some freinds,visiting neighbor next door young couple with 4 youngins and a 3 mth old i get to feed and hold,cutting my freinds hair ,paying bills wor...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I had a long conversation with a neighbor friend about this topic last night - he has never been truly alone, facing the tremendous weight of life by himself - even when not hooked up with someone, he had family and friends he lived with, helped take care of even - so he doesn't understand the deep lonelin...

Lyne · Lyne

So I saw a health professional today and he thinks I am very depressed. I guess I am, but I think I am grieving the loss of the relationship I used to have, wanted to have, and trying to accept that I may likely never have it again. My marriage started out fun, healthy I thought, and both of us were clear and...

Rora · Rora

I wanted to begin this post and address all the things that are difficult for me in this life journey. Man, life is hitting hard these days. And, as I was going over some of that in my head yesterday, I thought "ugh..let's shift that to gratitude instead." Being scared and worried and over...

fish out of water · fish out of water

My abf of 13yrs died in March 2011. I was lucky enough to have separated from him a year ago when I asked him to move out after being fired for drinking on the job. I couldn't, refused to watch him drink himself to death. Although not together, he was my best friend we spoke daily. I did get to say I love you to h...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

My final divorce hearing is on July 19th and as that day approaches I am getting so much more irritable and emotional. I know I am doing the right thing and have lived on my own for the last year. I struggle because I work 6 days a week with only Saturday's off to watch my 13 year old play her soccer games. I...

clep · clep

Recently I had a client try to blackmail me to get a good sum of money out of me. Legally they were not entitled to the money via the contract we have, so they used other pressure tactics to get me to give it to them. In the past I would have been irate and started the whole agressive approach. It would have be...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I really need some guidance, opions, examples.... how do I know what to do? Just talked to ABF for the first time in 11 days. Turns out he decided not to do his 3 months in lieu of probation and he could be out any day. There were NO questions asked on my part about his future plans. He told me he WANTS to be s...

MDK · MDK

My husband has been on a pill binger for almost two weeks now. I have noticed changes within myself. Instead of screaming or slamming the door I am starting to feel peaceful because I am taking care of myself and children first. I feel so sorry for him because he is going down a path that will eventually le...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My exAH has been in recovery and working a strict program for almost 4 yrs now, and we finally became officially divorced in Jan. Still a lot of pain around it, but for the most part, the crazy insane part of it all is over. I have come to accept what I cannot change (even though I do not like it) and try t...

Melissa Exhausted · Melissa Exhausted

I am new to al-anon, and I was recommended to check the group out to begin to heal, and revert back to my old, happy, positive self. I have been dating an alcoholic for 6 years. At first, I didn't know the extent of his disease, but when I moved in with him a couple of years ago, I figured it out. He wakes up in th...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been with my abf for over six years, i have been in al anon for nearly 4. ou journey has been a bumpy one thanks to alcoholism. he was sober for 6 months then relapesed over 6 months hit rock bottom went to a 6 month rehab then a three months dry house and was doing great. I understood he was sick and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been future-tripping lately--someday in the future my MOM is going to permanately move down to CA w/ my sister. Every time I think of it I get anxiety & somewhat depressed. Now I know that she is going to go there in a few years I still think about it & feel so awful especially when she mentio...

odalis · odalis

You guys have been awesome in sharing. I have a few more questions, although I know you can't tell me what to do, but please share what your experience have been please! So, I'm trying to ignore the drinking behavior of my AH. He comes home today and after saying hello to me and the girls, he grabs a beer and...

Rora · Rora

I am doing quite well these days with detaching. I by no means wish my A harm, but I also don't wish to engage him either. Yesterday, after weeks of not engaging or responding to his ridiculousness, in response to a hurt he caused my son, I text him telling him just what I thought. Never a good idea, I know...

ifa · ifa

I will take a chance and post about this. I think the main reason I left alanon meetings for a while was because of my mother. I did not leave the ideas of the program or the 12 steps, or my HP. I did not feel generally worse off, and I did not become isolated. I found other spiritual connections and things to j...

vizslame · vizslame

Being new is so damned confusing. I have so much crap in my life

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Well, court for the dismissal of the restraining order was this morning. I was so stressed I swear I was gonna be sick right there in the courtroom. They called me up, ABF was brought in from his holding cell and sat at a table to my left. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't know what my reaction would be o...

chinup · chinup

im under lots of stress which usually causes me to run back into my abf arms but no i havent and cant thanks to alanon and all the posts here has really helped me to know which direction i want to stay in....one day at a time still having problems with loneliness,but each and everyday does make a diff. in my t...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, we FINALLY got some news about the DUI stuff and it's a mixed blessing. 10 months has been forever!! Until I see it in writing though I won't know for sure, as I really don't believe what my AH says to me. I would say more now than I did a year ago for sure. The lawyer called him at work and let him know...

Jeff · Jeff

Probably a stupid question....... Im sure my AW is drinking....but can an addict stop substance abuse but still be in denial? Im to blame for everthing from her cheating on me, I caused the pending divorce, caused her to try to kill herself, caused her to lose custody of the kids, and likely the cuase of...

chinup · chinup

right after i left the post on wanting to slip i checked my email and lo and behold he did answer me back with whats up with u girl,sarcastic i took it,i answered him back with a kind words but i know this is all im doing here is because im sooo lonely and he is and was always availableat any given time,lol i do...

Ruby · Ruby

Wondering why I have the need to justify and rationalize to my A/A dr. about why I'm not co-signing for her to get an apt. she lost her previous condo because she cursed and made terrorist threats to the manger, went to jail and had a restraining order against her. I'm not sure yet what condition she l...

chinup · chinup

i know well in my heart that the life i had before with my a/bf didnt and wasnt gonna ever work so did he so we r now separated completely havent heard or seen him in over a month im beginning to miss him sooo very much and wanting to c him agin=mistake,thats my slip,i loved him soo much even though he done me so...

HarleyRyder · HarleyRyder

My wife is currently in a facility for the abuse of prescription pain meds as well as muscle relaxers, she is also a recovering Alcholic (sober 10 years). I work away from home and we keep in contact by phone while I'm away on business. About 5 weeks ago I had tried calling her and the phone went to voice ma...

respect · respect

Hi. This is my first post here. I am in the middle of a life I want to run away from and just needed to let some stuff out. My husband is in a rehab facility for the next 30 days for an addiction to pain meds. It's been on and off for years but in the last 8 months his addiction grew to a level I never thought possibl...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have a chance of a wonderful oppurtunity that could bring great joy and adventure to my life. Then my cycle starts Day 1 - excitement and gusto Day 2 - reservation and hesitancy Day 3 - wishy washy ... maybe and usually on Day 4 I feel the full impact of the old familiar DOOM bubble return because I have bee...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Alls cool here. Well very sunny and warm for days now! River keeps asking me to hop in! I don't know what is making me do so but I am thinking of ex AH a lot. Just him, his face is all. Its ok. I am waiting to see if I feel I need to go see him, to check on him for me. This morn was normal,waking up to birds, chipmunks a...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So its Friday night and I spent it studying w/ my bestfriend. It was good I got alot done but afterwards I wanted to go out and do something. I realized that I have disconnected with all my friends that I barely have any left No one calls me to hang out on the weekends or to do anything. I feel kind of alone ton...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

Ok, so do any Al-anon members still enjoy a drink or two without their A around? I do. I don't do it often, but I have the "luxury" of my husband being a trucker and being able to do things without him seeing me with alcohol in my system or seeing my friends drinking or smelling it. Like I said, I do...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...taking some time to remember a friend in recovery who just past. I'm not sad; I am grateful that he and I met and continued our relationship in recovery. I met Leonard F in 1995 when I took a mutually agreed 5 month look into working for a local alcohol and substance abuse program. We wo...

amm · amm

Hi, So... I'll explain. I've never been to a meeting or to anything really. I guess because i was embarrased about my mom and her drinking. I've been lurking around her for a while and finally decided to post. So here's my story, sorry if its long... My mom started drinking when i was 17. She had never drin...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

In less than 24 hours I'll be in front of the judge dismissing the restraining order. I'm not nervous about doing that. Nervous of my reaction to seeing ABF there as well... in orange... and after not talking to him for a week. Tomorrow is the start of a whole new healing process....and a difficult on...

RLC · RLC

Almost 6 years ago I attended my first meeting. Eight ladies and me. I was as crazy as we all are when I arrived, and I didn't have a clue. All six of those ladies still attend along with 6 or 7 more. They raised me in the program. One of the ladies in particular took me under her wing. She freely gave me what...

Ruby · Ruby

I let my guards down for a minute when my grandson who is homeless, he and gf, baby's mother, are having problems. He called and asked if he could spend the night and wash clothes. I said yes, reluctantly, tonight only. He also has anger management and drug issues. His mother is also homeless, due t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even though I have been going to meetings for years, I have anxiety when I leave them! I think it might be because I share personal things that maybe I should share w/ my sponsor or maybe a close friend that I trust. I just feel so anxious because I have so much healing to do & so much time to think these da...

redrobin78 · redrobin78

My husband is an alcoholic and I have been thinking about going to a meeting for a long time but I am nervous about it. Will everyone in the room have been going for a long time? I don't want to feel like the new person...I don't talk to hardly anyone about the things I go through and when I do I cry....and I do n...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

First I want to thank all of you for your immediate support and attention while I learn the ropes as a Newbie. I've been reading through threads a good part of the day and I'm learning so much already. But I have a question.... More often then not I'm seeing families torn apart by this horrible disease. A...

tlynna · tlynna

Any thoughts/ideas on how much of what a person says when they are drunk is true? There have been quite a few repeating themes in what my AH has said. When sober, he has admitted to saying some of these things to make me mad, but I still wonder. And honestly, many of things he says, when drunk, I believe....

odalis · odalis

Hi everyone, I just want to give you a little background about my situation, then I have a very important question. and I would ike to apologize for making this so long. My husband has a drinking problem. I am still not sure if he is an alcoholic because the difference between an abuser and A are still not c...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I am new to alanon, but have already felt some relief in not being alone by reading other posts! My husband is an alcoholic (~ 6 years). I have been the major breadwinner for the last 10 years. I have worked full time, in a good job, with benefits, and this allowed us to buy a home in 2009. During this t...

Katy · Katy

Good morning mip, and as ever some extremely useful encouraging and difficult situations highlighting the problems we face daily and the solutions. Our son is almost three weeks living life on his terms, I heard yesterday he was having to leave the place he had been staying, that was great news to me,...

sadnewleywed · sadnewleywed

I was married in March of 2011. I knew my future husband was a drinker but not to the extent I am seeing now. He drinks almost every day and by himself. In his car on the way home chugs alcohol to get a rush. He hides alcohol from me and lies to me constantly about drinking. We are arguing over this and he does no...

mslouise · mslouise

Today, I will no longer beat myself up. If I have a bad moment, it will not take over my day. If I cry, oh well!! These moments happen, and is in no way a reflection on me being a bad or weak person. If I stand up for myself and what I believe in, then I will stand tall and proud. If I look at the big picture,...

Lyne · Lyne

When my A hurts me, or I allow myself to be hurt, my mind gets stuck on the hurt and plays it over and over and over again. Sometimes I can get rid of it in a day, and sometimes it takes a few weeks. I guess I joined the message board 2 or 3 wks ago. My mind raced for at least 2 wks from the last episodes of lying an...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi to everyone. This is my first time on the site and from what I've seen I probably should have checked into this sooner. I have yet to go to a meeting, I'm sure it's next on my agenda. My much younger than me boyfriend is an alcoholic. We've been living together for about six months. From the time meet...

chinup · chinup

today im having a real bad day ,trying to fight it away ,ive helped my neibors today helped some now im back home in my own self pity but i know this day will pass also ,feel as though im wanting to have a alanon slip to make my self feel better...not...... it dont work never did never will learned from alanon...

Ruby · Ruby

It's hard for me to keep the focus on me and not react ot my AA/Dr. and her homeless ness, I'm praying for God to remove this pain from my broken heart, I know He will because He's done it before. I've been to 2 f/f meetings this week. The key for me is to stay busy and take care of myself. When I allow myself t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	You gotta want it...more than anything (Preview) A friendly Canadian guy on this very board has offered me some information that after reading and re-reading it I felt I needed to offer a piece of it here and share about it... From Toby Rice Drews: "When we feel that he holds all the cards....... when we feel that there is no way that we can make it wi...	youfoundme	10	903	Jul 14, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Newbie....a few questions. (Preview) My Brother started drinking when he was in high school "casually," and then turned into a weekend and night time partier after he graduated. About five years ago his wife left him unexpectedly and started dating his friend, which made him turn to alcohol. He drank from the time he got off wo...	Ashley1723	5	729	Jul 14, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Runaway (Preview) So my AH texted me today saying "I don't drink around our daughter and you know when my days off are you are keeping her away from me" He wanted to pick her up yesterday so he called yesterday and left a message I ignored him but later texted him back saying that he should call ahead of time when he...	Betterfuture	7	654	Jul 14, 2011 by Betterfuture
	Recovering and tattooing (Preview) Hi Everyone, Happy Summer :). I hope you are all doing well. Several months ago I moved out of my home with my 10 month old baby. Two months later my husband went to an inpatient treatment center for alcoholism. Today is four weeks since his release from that program. He is attending outpatient trea...	KLotus	6	3497	Jul 14, 2011 by KLotus
	Need a bit of ESH (Preview) I just had a call from an alcoholic relative telling me they have a week to leave their home due to being evicted for not paying the rent, and then breaking a court agreement to pay the arrears in installments. This in the week after she spent hundreds on birthday presents for her son and for his school pr...	Freya	12	614	Jul 14, 2011 by Freya
	the limbo is killing me (Preview) Aaarrgh! I struggle with understanding if I am detaching, or being a flaky parent. My son will turn 18 at the end of the month, and has made it clear that he intends to move out. While I got him home a few months ago, he pretty much just holed himself up in his room, and gradually separated himself so that h...	Loupiness	9	850	Jul 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	alcohol qestionaire/told husband (Preview) Well, I took the alcohol questionaire like you all suggested and the results were as I predicted. A wrecked car, infidelity, and a sad heart told me the answer before I even had to ask. I told my husband today about my infidelity. He took it rather well. He is still in rehab for pain pills so it was over the...	respect	8	719	Jul 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	I am more than my worries! (Preview) Good morning Mip, Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hu...	Katy	6	750	Jul 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Staying honest and keeping off the pity pot (Preview) I am just keeping honest here, so I want to say this now. My bf last week starting Wednesday gave me his debit and credit cards to hold on to so he wouldn't buy alcohol during the day. At first I hestitated because I thought "I don't need to babysit his cards so he won't drink" but then I felt th...	youfoundme	15	2197	Jul 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	Another funny lesson in humility.... (Preview) Just was reminded by another MIP member that I had not yet shared here what I shared on the other board the other day...After a buncha us guys and gals got together to console ourselves about the passing of my friend Leonard F I got a Facebook and more from others that LEONARD WAS ALIVE!! Visions of the m...	Jerry F	9	783	Jul 13, 2011 by Jozie
	New with a question... (Preview) Hi:) Okay, so my DH has been sober for 11 months now. I'm 9 months pregnant. He was raised by his Mom & Step-Dad. I believe all his depression/addiction issues originated with the absence of his birth father. He desperately wanted to know him. His Mom left with him when he was a baby. Accordin...	pessimisticallyoptimistic	11	692	Jul 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	Newbie Dying Inside (Preview) Hi All, I am new to this so please have patience with me. My wife is an A and has been sober for 1/2 year. She has a sponsor (F) who is real nice, I have met her and she has this "Mentor" (M) who we will call Bob. she and Bob spend sometimes several hrs on the phone and many texts back and forth almost ev...	Keel Man	14	1169	Jul 13, 2011 by ifa
	plans for staying busy busy (Preview) going to my 12 step meetings every tues nite,working out of my 12 step workbook,going out to learn how to line dance,going to some open aa meetings with some freinds,visiting neighbor next door young couple with 4 youngins and a 3 mth old i get to feed and hold,cutting my freinds hair ,paying bills wor...	chinup	6	535	Jul 13, 2011 by alexmaui
	Loneliness (Preview) I had a long conversation with a neighbor friend about this topic last night - he has never been truly alone, facing the tremendous weight of life by himself - even when not hooked up with someone, he had family and friends he lived with, helped take care of even - so he doesn't understand the deep lonelin...	likemyheart	6	4734	Jul 12, 2011 by Pushka
	grieving the loss (Preview) So I saw a health professional today and he thinks I am very depressed. I guess I am, but I think I am grieving the loss of the relationship I used to have, wanted to have, and trying to accept that I may likely never have it again. My marriage started out fun, healthy I thought, and both of us were clear and...	Lyne	10	765	Jul 12, 2011 by Lyne
	Choosing to feel thankful instead... (Preview) I wanted to begin this post and address all the things that are difficult for me in this life journey. Man, life is hitting hard these days. And, as I was going over some of that in my head yesterday, I thought "ugh..let's shift that to gratitude instead." Being scared and worried and over...	Rora	7	697	Jul 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	What to do with my feelings (Preview) My abf of 13yrs died in March 2011. I was lucky enough to have separated from him a year ago when I asked him to move out after being fired for drinking on the job. I couldn't, refused to watch him drink himself to death. Although not together, he was my best friend we spoke daily. I did get to say I love you to h...	fish out of water	7	593	Jul 12, 2011 by fish out of water
	Beyond tired (Preview) My final divorce hearing is on July 19th and as that day approaches I am getting so much more irritable and emotional. I know I am doing the right thing and have lived on my own for the last year. I struggle because I work 6 days a week with only Saturday's off to watch my 13 year old play her soccer games. I...	flopadopilus	7	667	Jul 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Al-anon has changed me so much (Preview) Recently I had a client try to blackmail me to get a good sum of money out of me. Legally they were not entitled to the money via the contract we have, so they used other pressure tactics to get me to give it to them. In the past I would have been irate and started the whole agressive approach. It would have be...	clep	6	538	Jul 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Help? (Preview) I really need some guidance, opions, examples.... how do I know what to do? Just talked to ABF for the first time in 11 days. Turns out he decided not to do his 3 months in lieu of probation and he could be out any day. There were NO questions asked on my part about his future plans. He told me he WANTS to be s...	ELEKTRAWMN	14	700	Jul 12, 2011 by xeno59
	What the program has done for me............ (Preview) My husband has been on a pill binger for almost two weeks now. I have noticed changes within myself. Instead of screaming or slamming the door I am starting to feel peaceful because I am taking care of myself and children first. I feel so sorry for him because he is going down a path that will eventually le...	MDK	8	720	Jul 12, 2011 by Pushka
	won't enter the ring for another round... (Preview) My exAH has been in recovery and working a strict program for almost 4 yrs now, and we finally became officially divorced in Jan. Still a lot of pain around it, but for the most part, the crazy insane part of it all is over. I have come to accept what I cannot change (even though I do not like it) and try t...	Loupiness	5	665	Jul 12, 2011 by Loupiness
	New to Al-Anon, and desperately need it! (Preview) I am new to al-anon, and I was recommended to check the group out to begin to heal, and revert back to my old, happy, positive self. I have been dating an alcoholic for 6 years. At first, I didn't know the extent of his disease, but when I moved in with him a couple of years ago, I figured it out. He wakes up in th...	Melissa Exhausted	9	639	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	need al anon strength. (Preview) I have been with my abf for over six years, i have been in al anon for nearly 4. ou journey has been a bumpy one thanks to alcoholism. he was sober for 6 months then relapesed over 6 months hit rock bottom went to a 6 month rehab then a three months dry house and was doing great. I understood he was sick and...	Tracy	7	506	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	yikes! future tripping (Preview) I have been future-tripping lately--someday in the future my MOM is going to permanately move down to CA w/ my sister. Every time I think of it I get anxiety & somewhat depressed. Now I know that she is going to go there in a few years I still think about it & feel so awful especially when she mentio...	Hoot Nanny	3	879	Jul 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	more questions (Preview) You guys have been awesome in sharing. I have a few more questions, although I know you can't tell me what to do, but please share what your experience have been please! So, I'm trying to ignore the drinking behavior of my AH. He comes home today and after saying hello to me and the girls, he grabs a beer and...	odalis	3	688	Jul 11, 2011 by RLC
	Mush brain... (Preview) I am doing quite well these days with detaching. I by no means wish my A harm, but I also don't wish to engage him either. Yesterday, after weeks of not engaging or responding to his ridiculousness, in response to a hurt he caused my son, I text him telling him just what I thought. Never a good idea, I know...	Rora	6	818	Jul 11, 2011 by Rora
	my mother (Preview) I will take a chance and post about this. I think the main reason I left alanon meetings for a while was because of my mother. I did not leave the ideas of the program or the 12 steps, or my HP. I did not feel generally worse off, and I did not become isolated. I found other spiritual connections and things to j...	ifa	11	698	Jul 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	being new (Preview) Being new is so damned confusing. I have so much crap in my life	vizslame	11	683	Jul 11, 2011 by vizslame
	I survived....barely (Preview) Well, court for the dismissal of the restraining order was this morning. I was so stressed I swear I was gonna be sick right there in the courtroom. They called me up, ABF was brought in from his holding cell and sat at a table to my left. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't know what my reaction would be o...	ELEKTRAWMN	4	492	Jul 11, 2011 by Mattie
	trying to stay busy busy to keep mind off things (Preview) im under lots of stress which usually causes me to run back into my abf arms but no i havent and cant thanks to alanon and all the posts here has really helped me to know which direction i want to stay in....one day at a time still having problems with loneliness,but each and everyday does make a diff. in my t...	chinup	2	658	Jul 11, 2011 by hotrod
	Got News .. (Preview) Well, we FINALLY got some news about the DUI stuff and it's a mixed blessing. 10 months has been forever!! Until I see it in writing though I won't know for sure, as I really don't believe what my AH says to me. I would say more now than I did a year ago for sure. The lawyer called him at work and let him know...	Pushka	7	474	Jul 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Not Drinking but Still Denial?? (Preview) Probably a stupid question....... Im sure my AW is drinking....but can an addict stop substance abuse but still be in denial? Im to blame for everthing from her cheating on me, I caused the pending divorce, caused her to try to kill herself, caused her to lose custody of the kids, and likely the cuase of...	Jeff	4	671	Jul 11, 2011 by Jeff
	so far no slip,thank gosh (Preview) right after i left the post on wanting to slip i checked my email and lo and behold he did answer me back with whats up with u girl,sarcastic i took it,i answered him back with a kind words but i know this is all im doing here is because im sooo lonely and he is and was always availableat any given time,lol i do...	chinup	5	670	Jul 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Just say "NO" (Preview) Wondering why I have the need to justify and rationalize to my A/A dr. about why I'm not co-signing for her to get an apt. she lost her previous condo because she cursed and made terrorist threats to the manger, went to jail and had a restraining order against her. I'm not sure yet what condition she l...	Ruby	5	528	Jul 11, 2011 by Otie
	finding myself wanting to slip (Preview) i know well in my heart that the life i had before with my a/bf didnt and wasnt gonna ever work so did he so we r now separated completely havent heard or seen him in over a month im beginning to miss him sooo very much and wanting to c him agin=mistake,thats my slip,i loved him soo much even though he done me so...	chinup	4	454	Jul 11, 2011 by All I can be
	Prescription Pain Meds (Preview) My wife is currently in a facility for the abuse of prescription pain meds as well as muscle relaxers, she is also a recovering Alcholic (sober 10 years). I work away from home and we keep in contact by phone while I'm away on business. About 5 weeks ago I had tried calling her and the phone went to voice ma...	HarleyRyder	4	982	Jul 11, 2011 by Otie
	My life is a mess (Preview) Hi. This is my first post here. I am in the middle of a life I want to run away from and just needed to let some stuff out. My husband is in a rehab facility for the next 30 days for an addiction to pain meds. It's been on and off for years but in the last 8 months his addiction grew to a level I never thought possibl...	respect	5	755	Jul 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I see my sickness surfacing (Preview) I have a chance of a wonderful oppurtunity that could bring great joy and adventure to my life. Then my cycle starts Day 1 - excitement and gusto Day 2 - reservation and hesitancy Day 3 - wishy washy ... maybe and usually on Day 4 I feel the full impact of the old familiar DOOM bubble return because I have bee...	Jennifer	5	639	Jul 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	saturday morn (Preview) Alls cool here. Well very sunny and warm for days now! River keeps asking me to hop in! I don't know what is making me do so but I am thinking of ex AH a lot. Just him, his face is all. Its ok. I am waiting to see if I feel I need to go see him, to check on him for me. This morn was normal,waking up to birds, chipmunks a...	Debilyn	8	685	Jul 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	Reconnection (Preview) So its Friday night and I spent it studying w/ my bestfriend. It was good I got alot done but afterwards I wanted to go out and do something. I realized that I have disconnected with all my friends that I barely have any left No one calls me to hang out on the weekends or to do anything. I feel kind of alone ton...	Betterfuture	9	594	Jul 10, 2011 by Betterfuture
	an interesting question (Preview) Ok, so do any Al-anon members still enjoy a drink or two without their A around? I do. I don't do it often, but I have the "luxury" of my husband being a trucker and being able to do things without him seeing me with alcohol in my system or seeing my friends drinking or smelling it. Like I said, I do...	Kristi136188	11	653	Jul 10, 2011 by Otie
	Leonard F has left the room.... (Preview) Aloha Family...taking some time to remember a friend in recovery who just past. I'm not sad; I am grateful that he and I met and continued our relationship in recovery. I met Leonard F in 1995 when I took a mutually agreed 5 month look into working for a local alcohol and substance abuse program. We wo...	Jerry F	14	679	Jul 10, 2011 by Ness
	Hi, I'm new and I have questions (Preview) Hi, So... I'll explain. I've never been to a meeting or to anything really. I guess because i was embarrased about my mom and her drinking. I've been lurking around her for a while and finally decided to post. So here's my story, sorry if its long... My mom started drinking when i was 17. She had never drin...	amm	10	619	Jul 10, 2011 by amm
	Nervousness has set in (just letting some things out) (Preview) In less than 24 hours I'll be in front of the judge dismissing the restraining order. I'm not nervous about doing that. Nervous of my reaction to seeing ABF there as well... in orange... and after not talking to him for a week. Tomorrow is the start of a whole new healing process....and a difficult on...	ELEKTRAWMN	4	516	Jul 10, 2011 by xeno59
	It never Dies.......It's Always Lurking (Preview) Almost 6 years ago I attended my first meeting. Eight ladies and me. I was as crazy as we all are when I arrived, and I didn't have a clue. All six of those ladies still attend along with 6 or 7 more. They raised me in the program. One of the ladies in particular took me under her wing. She freely gave me what...	RLC	12	1129	Jul 10, 2011 by Lyne
	Prayers please (Preview) I let my guards down for a minute when my grandson who is homeless, he and gf, baby's mother, are having problems. He called and asked if he could spend the night and wash clothes. I said yes, reluctantly, tonight only. He also has anger management and drug issues. His mother is also homeless, due t...	Ruby	7	534	Jul 10, 2011 by tommyecat
	still anxiety after meetings (Preview) Even though I have been going to meetings for years, I have anxiety when I leave them! I think it might be because I share personal things that maybe I should share w/ my sponsor or maybe a close friend that I trust. I just feel so anxious because I have so much healing to do & so much time to think these da...	Hoot Nanny	4	609	Jul 10, 2011 by tommyecat
	Nervous about going to Al-Anon meeting (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic and I have been thinking about going to a meeting for a long time but I am nervous about it. Will everyone in the room have been going for a long time? I don't want to feel like the new person...I don't talk to hardly anyone about the things I go through and when I do I cry....and I do n...	redrobin78	11	1104	Jul 10, 2011 by flinn66
	Is it possible??? (Preview) First I want to thank all of you for your immediate support and attention while I learn the ropes as a Newbie. I've been reading through threads a good part of the day and I'm learning so much already. But I have a question.... More often then not I'm seeing families torn apart by this horrible disease. A...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	766	Jul 10, 2011 by alexmaui
	How much of what they say when drunk is true? (Preview) Any thoughts/ideas on how much of what a person says when they are drunk is true? There have been quite a few repeating themes in what my AH has said. When sober, he has admitted to saying some of these things to make me mad, but I still wonder. And honestly, many of things he says, when drunk, I believe....	tlynna	10	3373	Jul 10, 2011 by flinn66
	Hi I am new here and have a question (Preview) Hi everyone, I just want to give you a little background about my situation, then I have a very important question. and I would ike to apologize for making this so long. My husband has a drinking problem. I am still not sure if he is an alcoholic because the difference between an abuser and A are still not c...	odalis	8	702	Jul 10, 2011 by flinn66
	how to not be a victim when you are being villainized? (Preview) I am new to alanon, but have already felt some relief in not being alone by reading other posts! My husband is an alcoholic (~ 6 years). I have been the major breadwinner for the last 10 years. I have worked full time, in a good job, with benefits, and this allowed us to buy a home in 2009. During this t...	Iris lover of dogs	10	4597	Jul 9, 2011 by xeno59
	Learnt behaviours! (Preview) Good morning mip, and as ever some extremely useful encouraging and difficult situations highlighting the problems we face daily and the solutions. Our son is almost three weeks living life on his terms, I heard yesterday he was having to leave the place he had been staying, that was great news to me,...	Katy	7	658	Jul 9, 2011 by Ness
	Newlywed with Alcoholic husband (Preview) I was married in March of 2011. I knew my future husband was a drinker but not to the extent I am seeing now. He drinks almost every day and by himself. In his car on the way home chugs alcohol to get a rush. He hides alcohol from me and lies to me constantly about drinking. We are arguing over this and he does no...	sadnewleywed	8	1424	Jul 8, 2011 by redrobin78
	For today love myself (Preview) Today, I will no longer beat myself up. If I have a bad moment, it will not take over my day. If I cry, oh well!! These moments happen, and is in no way a reflection on me being a bad or weak person. If I stand up for myself and what I believe in, then I will stand tall and proud. If I look at the big picture,...	mslouise	8	505	Jul 8, 2011 by Corgi2
	obsessive thinking (Preview) When my A hurts me, or I allow myself to be hurt, my mind gets stuck on the hurt and plays it over and over and over again. Sometimes I can get rid of it in a day, and sometimes it takes a few weeks. I guess I joined the message board 2 or 3 wks ago. My mind raced for at least 2 wks from the last episodes of lying an...	Lyne	8	732	Jul 8, 2011 by Pushka
	Hello. New here. (Preview) Hi to everyone. This is my first time on the site and from what I've seen I probably should have checked into this sooner. I have yet to go to a meeting, I'm sure it's next on my agenda. My much younger than me boyfriend is an alcoholic. We've been living together for about six months. From the time meet...	ELEKTRAWMN	10	579	Jul 8, 2011 by Pushka
	bad day (Preview) today im having a real bad day ,trying to fight it away ,ive helped my neibors today helped some now im back home in my own self pity but i know this day will pass also ,feel as though im wanting to have a alanon slip to make my self feel better...not...... it dont work never did never will learned from alanon...	chinup	2	439	Jul 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	kEEPING THE FOCUS ON ME (Preview) It's hard for me to keep the focus on me and not react ot my AA/Dr. and her homeless ness, I'm praying for God to remove this pain from my broken heart, I know He will because He's done it before. I've been to 2 f/f meetings this week. The key for me is to stay busy and take care of myself. When I allow myself t...	Ruby	4	1203	Jul 8, 2011 by youfoundme
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.