cycle of abuse, or dry drunk - Al-Anon Family Group

Norma · Newbie

cycle of abuse, or dry drunk

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

All I know is my experience. My eyes and heart opened more and more and omgosh there was too much to be happy about to have anxiety once he was truly out of my life.

More his disease was out of my life. I still love the man, just not the same.

I don't forget to do my nails, or do my eyebrows, I see cobwebs now, I laugh more and my animals are happy.

I can leave my pills out and no one steals them.

no more court,no more jail or prison visits. No more listening how he is going to leave, there is the door, goingto burn the house down, here is a lighter....ugh hugs,deb

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

I did...I carried it with me until I was able over time and with program to change my behaviors, thoughts, feelings and spirit. If you don't change you get the problem back in spades because its right in the baggage you run away with. It isn't about the alcoholic mostly...its about me.

Don't let the disease abuse you, anyone else abuse you or your self abuse you.

(((((hugs))))) smile

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

I have been living away from my AH for the most part of a year and with my program I am getting better everyday. I still have some bad days, but when I lived with him everyday just about was miserable. I have been codependent and too obsessed with him and for me to get to work on myself I had to physically seperate. It seems some people can do it while living with their A, I wasn't one of them. I kept asking my HP about what to do and one day I felt so calm in knowing it was time to move and stop the cycles. At the time I was blaming him for everything and it wasn't until later that I could take the focus off him and put it on me and my stuff. Keep working your program and growth just seems to happen in whatever direction you are meant to head in.

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

I have lived with anxiety and depression for years. I cycle through coping with my A and then periods where I am just coming out of my skin. I have left a 13 yr marriage, and 2 other relationships. My current marriage is almost 20 years old. I'm trying to keep it. I hope I am getting strong. Sometimes I'm just numb. I don't have any answers except that I have to keep on trying. Lyne

hawaiilover · Senior Member

I have deal with the AH's disease for 36 yrs. one day at a time. Many years ago, before joining Alanon, I separated from my husband for six months. The drinking was more than I could handle and I just packed his belongings and sent him back to his mother. Since I've been in the program, I have learned to focus on me. It is not easy at times. I have moments when I feel overwhelmed and want to end it. Yet, I still love my AH and want to hang in there for as long as my HP allows me. Working the steps, reading literatures, talking with a sponsor, attending meetings, etc. are what help me cope. Now, I've added two online support groups and that helps also. Thank God for all these resources. I know I could not function without them. God bless you. Hang in there!

Hawaii

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