The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Even though I have been going to meetings for years, I have anxiety when I leave them! I think it might be because I share personal things that maybe I should share w/ my sponsor or maybe a close friend that I trust. I just feel so anxious because I have so much healing to do & so much time to think these days. Because of this, I attend very few meetings anymore including open AA meetings. Luckily, I found an out-of-town meeting that a lot of old-timers go to that I feel OK not great sharing there. But, because I get home after 9:30 pm I actually struggle w/ falling asleep after the meeting when I return home!
Oh I am so boggled at what to do! I just want to stay in recovery. I know that I can get where I need to go if I put my best foot forward.
By the way, my AH is going on 5 years of sobriety! I am so grateful that at least he attends a lot of meetings these days. I love him more now than when we got married almost 12 years ago--the 17th is our wedding anniversary. Much to celebrate--much to be grateful for. The focus must be on recovery & the blessings that God has given us. I am so happy that I can see the roses over the thorns these days!
My posts are getting more positive too. I feel a sense of relief knowing that you are all here trudging along w/ me. Well... maybe only some of you are trudging.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hi there Hoot Nanny, I can relate after meetings I am in my head thinking a lot and am a bit restless, but I also always feel better and learn a lot in my meetings. I was hiding things from my sponsor that I could talk about in meetings, but I felt guilty for a reason and finally came clean about my slips. I feel my growth and I know it's from f2f meetings and working the steps. I know it can seem like more work at times, but life for me before Al-anon was full of misery and chaos. Keep up the good work!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
Kath!! Happy Anniversary to you and your Alcoholic and give him a Hawaiian Hug on his sober time...Huge accomplishment.
I use to feel the same way you do about the meetings...part of it was because I was leaving the security of the group and going back out on my own and I wasn't sure of myself and fearful. Another part which I shared at my morning home meeting was that I wasn't yet convinced that I needed it until I did a thorough 4th step and worked it good with sponsorship and finally another part which HP took care of was just my general overal fear based personality. That one took 1 prayer asking my HP to remove the fear and whalla!! next morning I was repeating aloud the MLK speech. "Free at last, Free at last; Thank God I'm free at last". Fear was gone.
Congrats on your upcoming anniversary. I myself am approaching 10 years in October. Where does the time go?
I sure do appreciate your honesty in sharing because I think it will be a trememdous help to others that relate to the same feeling when they leave or share in a meeting. For me anxiety left as I got to know more people in the group, go to lunch with them and growing part of the fellowship. However, I still have a sense of reluctance to share in the meeting years later. I think when my HP puts a pit in my stomach which is a signal to me I have something to contribute on topic. I look to the 12th step where it says carry the message to others and practice these principals in all our affairs when I am nervous about sharing. So many wonderful members of the my group shared so openly in the meeting which gave the courage to share despite the nervousness. In gratitude, I share today but before I do, I always say, God help me, and the words come from Him.
Thank you so much for sharing exactly how you feel today about meetings. I have no doubt you are helping others who may/may not have the voice to share their thoughts with others.
