Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> funny how that works...
Post Info TOPIC: funny how that works...
Loupiness


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 831
Date:
funny how that works...
Permalink  

This recovery process is such an inte resting journey. I have a really hard time actively working the program while emeshed in my life, but at the same time I know it is working. Regardless, of me doing it less than well sometimes, it works. Miracles are everywhere, and when I slow down enough to look around and see how HP has taken care of me, sometimes I am astounded.  My best philosophy to life has been " do the footwork, and  do what is right whether you want to or not, and God will take care of the rest." 

That said, I want to share my latest little "miracle".  It has been 4.5 years since my exAH moved out, and honestly, as lonely as I have been, it has taken this long to really feel some self worth and be willing and able to consider letting someone in my life. Even now though, I am not looking for a husband or even a boyfriend, I just want someone to spend some time with and have fun.  If nothing else, to go on some dates with various men would be such great practice for me since I was with my exAH since I was 18. So, I researched it and finally subscribed to an online dating service.  I've been hesitant and resistant about it, but also intrigued.  I spelled out exactly what qualities I am looking for and set my standards pretty high.  There is one person who I am interested in, and we have emailed back and forth a tad bit, unable to set a time to meet.

Now, part 2 of my story is this. My exAH asked if he could have the kids tomorrow.  Where our divorce agreement states we share holidays, every July 4th before now the kids have been with me and we have special standing plans with other families. My exAh usually just showed up to watch fireworks with the kids.  Will, now he is forming his own plans, and we will have to start alternating eventually, so I said yes.  I am taking them to a parade in the morning, and he will pick them up at 2 to take them to a party in the afternoon (since I had nothing planned) and for fireworks at night.  It didn't feel good, but was in the best interest of the kids, and just seemed the right thing to do.

Enter the miracle... I was contacted by the online match, asking me if I would like to go to lunch tomorrow.  We settled on 2. Really? Wow.  And, that my friends, is how it works.  Let it go and watch it come (though admittedly it isn't usually so quick!)  As for my date, I have no expectations.  At the very least I fill up tomorrow, and may get an ego boost in the process.  I do know that I will be conscious of what he drinks.  I'll try not to be too obvious  

Blessings,

Lou

 

Enter



__________________

Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.
~ Ronald Reagan~

Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't
~Marguerite Bro~
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

 

 

Aloha Lou...Opportunities, choices, consequences...run thru the filter of program and that is how it works.  HP always.  Have a great 4th..(((hugs))) smile



__________________
tommyecat


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1594
Date:
Permalink  

Lou, Have a great time.  I am so glad it all worked out.



__________________
Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3870
Date:
Permalink  

Have a good time and enjoy!! :)

__________________

Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
glad lee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1235
Date:
Permalink  

Our paths are sooo similar! I, too, was with my AH since I was 17, actually. Married for 26 years. Divorce. I recently started dating a man from an internet dating site....

In March, my subscription to the site was about to expire. I was just going to let it because I had been getting extremely discouraged with dating, my experience was... the men lie about various things... like how long they've actually been divorced, how much they drink, how tall they are, and what their fetishes are (seriously)

Well, in March I was feeling very close to Higher power and had firmly decided I no longer had a NEED for a man, I was getting comfortable on my own, learning humility, and finally feeling at ease. But just days after I closed the account (they continue to send matches so you will renew again, right?!) well, a man contacted me and long story short.... we have been dating ever since.

It's only been a few months, but with every passing day, I give thanks for the blessing of knowing him, he is a beautiful human being. Initially, I thought he was waaay too much of a geek, I'm so used to ultra cool, charming, suave, debonaire types... you know.... addictive men!! But underneath his outward appearances, he is just beautiful. (Ever meet a man who would purchase a book on 5 secrets to growing a vital, conscious relationship?! he has... and he is committed to it, which I find totally amazing.) I am grateful for a program of recovery that taught me to be open-minded, to be kind, loving and tolerant... (my sponsors had to remind me) because in the past, I would run when things didn't feel comfortable. Today I know, what feels comfortable and familiar is..... probably an addictive situation!

Anyway, what I had been told... and what my experience has been lesson learned!!.... when I let go.... not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.... there creates a "space" for something new. My experience is, once I grabbed onto my HP completely to fulfill and to heal me... things shifted in a very good way.

They kept telling me, when one door closes, another opens, but I felt I was in the hallway for a long, long time and I had a lot of fear about that, I obsessed about that, I was not in acceptance that I was right where I needed to be. Anyway, I totally feel that the universe brought to me what I had on "my list" and more.... proving to me, the universe is soooo much more wise than I.

I'm excited for you, Lou! They told me I would have to date a few "duds"... that someone who is "right" for me was going to take time. Enjoy the journey, remembering everything has purpose, right?

Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy! and don't forget to bring us updates!! haha



-- Edited by glad lee on Monday 4th of July 2011 08:13:39 AM

__________________

The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
GailMichelle


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1230
Date:
Permalink  

Someone here once posted this question: Is is an odd thing or a God thing?

I recalled this question as I read your post. Most likely a God (HP) thing, ya think?

I hope you enjoy yourself!!!!

__________________

You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

oh lou I am so happy for you. no matter what you are putting yourself out there! Of course I will be looking for a report tomorrow.

Make sure you tell someone where you are going. I hope you meet him and not get into his car. NO drives to the country. Remember how to protect yourself.

gads, I love you lou, debilyn who has been reading WAY too much Ann Rule!!!gads....



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Loupiness


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 831
Date:
Permalink  

Happy to say I made it home alive! Just so you know, I met him somewhere, gave all details to 3 people, and had codes for texting in case I was in trouble. Turns out he was very nice and harmless, but not someone I would be interested in something more with. Gave me more to put on my "want" and "do not want list". Ya know, about a year ago I couldn't even fill out a profile to say who I was, let alone say who I wanted. Actually, I felt pretty comfortable and sure about myself, and got reminded that people are just people. Overall, a good experience. Thanks for being here to share it.

Lou

__________________

Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.
~ Ronald Reagan~

Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't
~Marguerite Bro~
Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3870
Date:
Permalink  

Congrats for seeing it through and having a good time!! :) Thanks for the share and hope :)

__________________

Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> funny how that works...