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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I think i found step 1
Post Info TOPIC: I think i found step 1
jamfu


Veteran Member

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I think i found step 1
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I wrote this to her the other day. Thought I might share it

 

"I was talking with adam yesterday about my life , and his. We spoke for several hours. We both have had a great talk to clear each others' hearts and minds. I can say he is my best true friend. At the end of the day I realized you abused me. Im not mad at you nor do I hold resentment towards you. More so myself at the time. I found that I gave it all away. I forgive myself for what I allowed myself to put up with. Step 1 is an easier grasp now. God speed to you shauna. I wish the best things in life for you in every challenge you are faced with."



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oldergal


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Wow, very well put, beautiful....you have written a heartfelt and sincere note to your x. Bravo you have found step 1 to be true for you. 

I wish you Peace Jamfu.......Oldergal 



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canadianguy


~*Service Worker*~

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My thoughts on this (as always), is be sure to check your motives....   Maybe I am reading too much into this, but it sounds to me like there is potentially a bit of passive/aggressive effort to control her (i.e. "you abused me").  Step one is the acceptance that we cannot control or influence other people and their choices, in any way....

Sorry, I may be reading too much into it, but that is how I would have read this if I had received such a letter...

Take care

Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
jamfu


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Posts: 29
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She was physically abusive. I got so used to chaos, and reacting to the next situation that my mind was in a total fog. I realized that love does not do that to people. That I had been in an abusive relationship.  I gave it away. I do feel some anxiety now and again. But I am in a much better place now. I ask myself, could I ever tolerate another one of her relapses? The answer is no I cant. I do not condone the use of alcohol in moderation. But she is different. Absolutely out of control if she gets started. Absolutely blacked out. Absolutely wreckless. I allowed myself to put up with it for too long. And now I have to pick up the peices inside of my head. I owe it to me to let go, and get better.



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I think i found step 1