Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

orchidlover · orchidlover

I was reading a bio/interview on the internet yesterday and the alcholic (not in recovery) said they felt their (husband) stayed with them as a way of punishing themselves. I think that would explain why I stuck it out so long in my last relationship and why I've found it so hard to extricate myself fro...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

I'm sad tonight. At work so sorry for short post but feel like hell. Saw my xAb at a stop light. Amazing how much love I could still see between us. He texted me to ask how i was. It makes me miss him even more. And all I want is our life together :( But that can't be until he does the work he needs for himself. ...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Something I've found, and for whatever reason it helps, is that I'm not the only one who sees that life and progress are often 3 steps forward and 2 steps back or 2 steps forward and 3 back or some variation of this pattern. Yesterday morning my AH shocked me by showing up with baby girl (his daughter) to c...

John · John

A lesson based on personal experience!When trying to move up the ladder of life be very careful. The closer you get to the top...the futher the fall.Violet took this picture at hospital before we knew the wrist in sling was also fractured. i guess the shock kept the pain in it at bay longer than my righ...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I shared last week that i had asked my ex to leave which he did, initially he continually contacted me asking me to reconsider but I had been on a merry-go-round for so long it was time I jumped off. He is coming down to get the rest of his stuff today, I feel okay about it, but Im worried that when I see him I wil...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. you guys .. LOL .. I don't know what God is trying to tell me, however I just have had the oddest morning. I have shared that mama had her kittens in the back of the truck .. lol .. poor truck. Well, we had talked about moving them all inside or something the weather is horribly cold as in not normal for t...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi, new here, just wanted to share more of what I'm feeling. I went to my first alanon meeting, kids in tow because I have nobody to watch them. My AH took a job out of state, against my wishes, is renting a room there until our house sells here. So, basically am in this town(have lived here two years) and onl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so proud of my AH--He is celebrating his 5th AA birthday today! For those of you who don't know what that means, He has 5 years of sobriety! I don't think any of you don't know what that means though really. I am so happy that we have been through the last years of his recovery. I am grateful too. God is so g...

rehprof · rehprof

so...I messaged my new bfs daughter on facebook and she didn't respond...yet I can see she is online.. I immediately jump to all these conclusions.."she doesn't like me" "OMG, she hates me and that will affect my relationship with her dad.." I'm in total reaction mode and want...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi all, well I think I practiced self care for the first time today. This morning I was trying to be cheerful and redress AH a cute pic of our boy, but no reply. About an hour later I called him and he was acting all moody and like he was busy and mad at me. So that got me mad. Later, I was trying to do the checkbook...

atheos · atheos

I've just been to an ACA meeting, which made me feel worse instead of better because all the shares were full of problems and even the people who've been in the program for a while seemed to have lots of pain and very little progress... I think I need to stay away from ACA, I only ever seem to feel worse when I...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter is an active addict. She is currently living alone with 3 of her young children ages 4, 5 and 5. She has periods of time when she uses less but lately has been really bad. Child protection gets involved for short periods of time but long enough for her to make permanent changes. I am always...

John · John

i am whinning. A ladder i was on slipped 20ft down a wall and landed on a concrete driveway. it happened so fast i couldnt do anything at all, not even let go of it. as a result i broke both of my wrist and fractured my left elbow. in a lot of pain.

downdenise · downdenise

So, my other half came back home after rehab at the end of May. Most of our relationship was heart breaking because of his hidden addictions. Since August he has not really worked and has been going back to some familiar issues. He began spending entire days out of the home with lies about what he is doi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Last night went well...the cake was the best cake I have had in a long time but...that wasn't the best part of the night! It was so nice to share my H.'s sobriety w/ him & all his AA friends. Some members even came just for the occasion. One guy said he hardly ever comes on Fri. but he wanted to be there for...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I would like to wish John a speedy recovery from his recent accident on a ladder. He has broken bones. I hope you will all join me in praying he is on the mend really soon. Orchidlover(aka Maresie)

Mcjprr · Mcjprr

Hi, i was just wondering if yous could help me. My dad has been an alcoholic for many many decades and he's wanting to quit drinking. He won't go to AA as he doesn't feel he's that bad. I know i can't make him so i was wondering how i could help him along the way, as i know it will be really hard for him, especiall...

pineapple · pineapple

I'm not looking for any answers here, I don't think there are any. But I have to get this out and since I have no one to talk to, I come here. A has been back to drinking every day/all day for a while now. I hate it but I've come to accept it it. Most of the time. At 10 this morning I knocked on his door. When he answe...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Hi! I am new here and right now I guess I'm pretty confused. The last week has been crazy to say the least. I have lived with my fiance for just over a year. It was shortly after he moved in that I realized the extent of his drinking. As I'm sure you've all experienced - I got the promises of him attempting to...

youfoundme · youfoundme

With my business partner, things are falling apart quickly and she is with-holding information on an upcoming wedding until the last minute...she does not like that I emailed her an amends for not telling her up front two years ago a couple of things, and says I should not have emailed her an amends. O...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi everyone, I've been reading the posts for about a week now, and really enjoying learning from you all. I went to my first alanon meeting on Tuesday and I'm embarrassed that I cried the way I did. They were super nice, but I don't even know how to talk about my situation without crying. My husband is an al...

Pushka · Pushka

I had a lovely smile this AM when I heard that dang rust bucket of a truck start up .. lol. I'm really happy for my AH we talked about chapters closing last night and this is another closed chapter in the DUI saga. It's funny, because now I'm thinking oh boy .. LOL .. I'm going to have to put my program talk wh...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys Thanks for putting up with me. AFter all that about going fishing this weekend or not..... he has not made any decision. Ithought it was all decided. I think I got what you guys were saying... just forget about the smoking bit. If I love him that I love both of them. Learn to live with it in my lif...

pamommy · pamommy

AH was attending AA or counseling every night since Thanksgiving, but we knew two or three weeks ago he started drinking again, and I suspected in the last week or so he was driving home from work drunk and going to his meetings drunk. He finally got caught Monday night- thank God before he hurt someone...

jmanning · jmanning

This is going to be long.... Well I woke up in a good mood, was studying for my test. My AH son calls me and tell sme not to visit my AH cause he was going to. In county visitation is only mon-wed and only one visit per day. Well i asked him to wait til I got out of class at 9 and we can visit together. Well he didnt wa...

amills4294 · amills4294

We've been separated for about 14 months. He wants to know where we stand and what needs to be done to get us back "on track" or on a trial living under the same roof. We've been to this point before many times. I'm trying to not get anxious about the conversation. I know what he wants or at le...

rosielee · rosielee

as you know my mum and me have difficult communication- and i am finding this same prblem- even my son is saying- why does she keep doing this? she doesnt phone to ask to meet me- or she will phone once- i dont make it to the phone- and then the nxt thing i know she is on my doort step knocking at my door- at a tim...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I haven't created my own post here in quite a while. So I guess I'll make up for it with a post that's super long! Hah! Overall, I think I'm doing really well and making a lot of progress in my own growth towards a really happy, healthy future. I feel much more relaxed, more peace of mind and confidence...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I know I should be writing a gratitude list. But, sometimes I have to vent off the anti-gratitude to make room for the gratitude. What I hate: I hate when my anger and pain crashes over me like a wave and brings me to my knees. I hate when I need to hide in the bathroom and cry until the moment passes. I hate tha...

Cupcake · Cupcake

I am trying to be positive and gentle with myself these last two weeks as it has been both my anniversary and my birthday. My husband and I haven't been doing all that well since I blew up and told him he had to leave. I have since started going to AlAnon and have apologized but he's having a hard time deali...

amills4294 · amills4294

OK, I've learned a lot in the past couple of months. I've got a long way to go. I've shared my turmoils in my marriage. The other day I told my husband I could not be the wife HE wanted me to be, be the best mother I can be and take care of me all at the same time. I just don't have the energy. When he gets hurt he...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Anyone believe that dreams and nightmares are our subconscious talking to us??? It may not sound like an Al Anon post, but it is in so much as what we are processing in our minds and how we 'think' things. I noticed a dream post the other day that was very positive. I have always had nightmares. Terrify...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

So thankful I found this board. So disappointed to find out that while I thought my AH had not been drinking whiskey and only the occasional glass of wine it turns out he's been drinking this whole time. I know that I can't change it, can't cure it can't control it. I know that I have to let go of it. I know tha...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have been becoming more aware of a friendship that is not supportive to me anymore. I have tried and tried to stay in it but no longer can stand the blindness. Her and I would go to starbucks coffee together and she would douse me with her problems and I had no room for me at all. Her husband is breakin...

Pushka · Pushka

It's Driving Day tomorrow woo hoo. Actually I have a LOT of relief going on right now. I no longer am responsible for driving my AH to and from places. I feel so free. I am chuckling a little because I just found out that I still have one more pick up time tonight. I think AH is having a little harder time...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I really appreciate those of you who follow my goings on... thankyou. I don't always agree but I do listen and try to open my mind to all the input. This morning I woke up with feelings of intense anger. I was yelling and arguing with him in my head. He was sound asleep next to me..... snug as a bug etc. I ju...

soulhavoc · soulhavoc

Hello, I just assumed I should introduce myself and state my reason for being here. I made the classic girl's mistake. I was raised by an alcholic father and then I married a man just like my daddy. I have been married to hm for 15 years and with him for 17. We do not have children together but he has been the f...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

so i met my x at the park with our daughter for her first visit .. it's hard .. first off i just have to say .. he looks good .. dressed nice .. happier .. and honestly and .. hurtfully speaking, he looks happier than he ever did with me .. yet i still have feelings for him .. it was hard, sad .. yet i was unexpecte...

pineapple · pineapple

Boy, I've missed this place! Today is the first time in 10 days it hasn't been raining here. It was pretty bad- flooding, power outages, trees down, road closed, etc. We haven't had internet for all that time and I couldn't get into town. I was starting to feel more than a little down. But the sun is shinin...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

my daughter's dad and i begin visitation tomorrow .. I'm sick with the idea of seeing him .. sick because i'm in that frame of mine where if i feel something it should still be .. it would be so much easier if i had absolutely no feelings left for him but i'm powerless over the effects .. it hurts to see him a...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I asked my partner to leave on Saturday after having such a stressful few weeks, I have been to two f2f meetings and wanted to go to one this morning but my alarm was at the wrong time! When we are arguing he pushed me to the very edge of distress and as soon as he thought I was going to leave he would turn this ar...

mackinac · mackinac

Hi guys, I am new to this. As a matter of fact I am not sure I am doing this posting correctly. I am married to an alcoholic. I am not sure how often he drinks, or how muh. it varies, sometimes a few bottles (the ones that can fit in your pants), I imagine someitmes less. I guess the amount is irrelevant. It aff...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

My inlaws will be coming into town for the holidays. They stay for several weeks (not with us--they have a place of their own). I don't know whether I should talk with them about my AH. We are at the point where it feels like AH's disease is increasing exponentially each day. My therapist (specializes i...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm grasping the idea that it is ok to be perfectly imperfect and people love me anyway. I might not always say the right thing or do the right thing, I can only try to do the best that I can in any given moment. Sometimes it's all just dumb luck that I come close to saying or doing the right thing .. lol. Som...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I recently referenced the 5 G's in Alanon responding to a post. For those of you who would like to know where I borrowed them from they are in our literature on PP 122, Hope for Today, May 1st reading. The reading references they were originally published in an out of print Forum magazine volume 4 PP 14...

amills4294 · amills4294

Well just got off the phone with my mom. She is the alcoholic in denial in my life and has been one most of my life. Her mom died at 39 from alcohol and painkillers - her body just wasted away. My mom has never admitted to that. She lied to us about how she died. I ordered the death certificate when I was hav...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, not looking for advice so much as I'm just looking to vent. First, please understand that I know the seriousness of this situation. A week ago today, my wife got falling down drunk while our kids were at preschool. She somehow managed to drive the 5 miles from our home to the school to pick up the ki...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey guys, I just need a hug, or comfort, or something. I've been trying to do the right things - exercise, friends, staying busy, etc...but just when I feel a bit better my ex RA comes into the picture and slams me again. This time I got slammed HARD. He found the storage unit after having difficulties...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi All :0) First a Mini Update... MIL Home & Doing Alot Better..

. & Gram is HOME :)

And Back to Put'n around Like only she knows how... So BIG THANK YOU To All of You that Kept us in your Prayers... They have Lifted them all back to "Better" health, and on their way to Recov...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I finally got Step 1, and my sponsor and I are going to have a meeting about it in the next few days. I feel pretty good about it. All that said (and you know I have been trying to *GET* step one for a while now, when I finally surrendered to it, I got it..) I had this dream last night that was really vivid and re...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

Yesterday my Abf came home after visting one of his friends from work and going to his parents house. I knew that he was at this person's house and knew that he would be drinking before I even talked to him. When he got home I could tell that he had been drinking and just ignored it. I didnt ask and I didn't bri...

kris10 · kris10

I am 28 years old. I have piercings and tattoos. I have short (changing from week to week ) rainbow colors in my hair. I ride a hot pink skateboard. I like to wear holy jeans. I prefure my funky glasses over contacts any day. I listen to my music loud. And I drive my car fast. I probably smoke entirely way to ma...

jmanning · jmanning

Well it started out a good day. Spent the day with a friend we went shopping and used coupons for the first time. And I was so proud of what I got for the little money I spent. Then we did lunch and then went to her moms and clipped coupons and talked. I really enjoyed the day. Got home unloaded the car and got li...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Just watched this movie called 28 Days (from 2000, with Sandra Bullock)... I actually didn't mind it so much. Normally these rehab type movies seem so fake. The place she was at in the movie had Equine Therapy and one line stuck out at me. They had to get the horse to lift its back hoof to clean the hoof...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI So I have not been travelling real well lately. Gave in and had the heart to heart with my husband this morning. Basically he has laid down the law as I see it and has allowed me the choice to be part of it or not. He is going to increase his camping and fishing and hunting activities, and he is not going to...

nyc018 · nyc018

Ive writen many posts writing about the dilemma I have with my family (mom, etc). Well, I have a pretty big one with my MIL AHs mom. Here's the story: MIL was an RA having been sober 22 years until this July. She relapsed, twice, buckling from the pressure of seeing her sons (my AH) descent from alcoholism...

amills4294 · amills4294

Hello all - I was asked to "introduce" myself to the forum as it shows that I'm a "newbie" :). I actually had been on here before and then in haste removed myself and then came back, so, yes I'm new but not that new. Same username. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic (my mom). I'm on m...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I feel like I'm growing. Last year my wife's disease progressed to my bottom. We are currently seperated, my wife lives in a condo that we bought together, I live in the familiy house. In addition to the addiction there were also infidelities by her in our marriage, I am not sure how much was related t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I spent some time w/ my MOM before I got on this computer. She wanted me to help her find my step-father's grave site & I complied. It was a little difficult to find but we found it. This is actually not morbid at all--I actually didn't mind the whole scenario. Things go well w/ her sometimes that I can a...

atheos · atheos

Tonight, I really needed a meeting, and there wasn't one nearby. I wound up driving half an hour to another town, but it was worth it... I heard something I really needed to hear -- "when you compare your rough inside to somebody else's polished outside, you always come out on the bottom". An...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Punishing ourselves (Preview) I was reading a bio/interview on the internet yesterday and the alcholic (not in recovery) said they felt their (husband) stayed with them as a way of punishing themselves. I think that would explain why I stuck it out so long in my last relationship and why I've found it so hard to extricate myself fro...	orchidlover	5	677	Oct 24, 2011 by Jenny29
	Saw my xAb at a stop light (Preview) I'm sad tonight. At work so sorry for short post but feel like hell. Saw my xAb at a stop light. Amazing how much love I could still see between us. He texted me to ask how i was. It makes me miss him even more. And all I want is our life together :( But that can't be until he does the work he needs for himself. ...	KeepingFaith	4	492	Oct 24, 2011 by pineapple
	those steps forward and backward (Preview) Something I've found, and for whatever reason it helps, is that I'm not the only one who sees that life and progress are often 3 steps forward and 2 steps back or 2 steps forward and 3 back or some variation of this pattern. Yesterday morning my AH shocked me by showing up with baby girl (his daughter) to c...	Jackie11	3	362	Oct 24, 2011 by Pushka
	Securing yourself**** (Preview) A lesson based on personal experience!When trying to move up the ladder of life be very careful. The closer you get to the top...the futher the fall.Violet took this picture at hospital before we knew the wrist in sling was also fractured. i guess the shock kept the pain in it at bay longer than my righ...	John	11	2496	Oct 24, 2011 by hawaiilover
	facing my ex today....feel strong but scared he manipulates me (Preview) I shared last week that i had asked my ex to leave which he did, initially he continually contacted me asking me to reconsider but I had been on a merry-go-round for so long it was time I jumped off. He is coming down to get the rest of his stuff today, I feel okay about it, but Im worried that when I see him I wil...	Jules1011	11	509	Oct 23, 2011 by Pushka
	OT - Weird, wonderful and sad .. (Preview) Ok .. you guys .. LOL .. I don't know what God is trying to tell me, however I just have had the oddest morning. I have shared that mama had her kittens in the back of the truck .. lol .. poor truck. Well, we had talked about moving them all inside or something the weather is horribly cold as in not normal for t...	Pushka	14	562	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	puzzle peices (Preview) Hi, new here, just wanted to share more of what I'm feeling. I went to my first alanon meeting, kids in tow because I have nobody to watch them. My AH took a job out of state, against my wishes, is renting a room there until our house sells here. So, basically am in this town(have lived here two years) and onl...	GreenerGrass	11	630	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	5th AA birthday--so proud! (Preview) I am so proud of my AH--He is celebrating his 5th AA birthday today! For those of you who don't know what that means, He has 5 years of sobriety! I don't think any of you don't know what that means though really. I am so happy that we have been through the last years of his recovery. I am grateful too. God is so g...	Hoot Nanny	9	649	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Jumping to conclusions (Preview) so...I messaged my new bfs daughter on facebook and she didn't respond...yet I can see she is online.. I immediately jump to all these conclusions.."she doesn't like me" "OMG, she hates me and that will affect my relationship with her dad.." I'm in total reaction mode and want...	rehprof	13	586	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	first time practicing self care (Preview) Hi all, well I think I practiced self care for the first time today. This morning I was trying to be cheerful and redress AH a cute pic of our boy, but no reply. About an hour later I called him and he was acting all moody and like he was busy and mad at me. So that got me mad. Later, I was trying to do the checkbook...	GreenerGrass	5	408	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	I am feeling too broken to fix (Preview) I've just been to an ACA meeting, which made me feel worse instead of better because all the shares were full of problems and even the people who've been in the program for a while seemed to have lots of pain and very little progress... I think I need to stay away from ACA, I only ever seem to feel worse when I...	atheos	13	689	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Intoxicated Daughter with 3 young kids (Preview) My daughter is an active addict. She is currently living alone with 3 of her young children ages 4, 5 and 5. She has periods of time when she uses less but lately has been really bad. Child protection gets involved for short periods of time but long enough for her to make permanent changes. I am always...	mdkm0726	12	723	Oct 23, 2011 by mdkm0726
	literally broken :( (Preview) i am whinning. A ladder i was on slipped 20ft down a wall and landed on a concrete driveway. it happened so fast i couldnt do anything at all, not even let go of it. as a result i broke both of my wrist and fractured my left elbow. in a lot of pain.	John	12	589	Oct 23, 2011 by xeno59
	Rough Month (Preview) So, my other half came back home after rehab at the end of May. Most of our relationship was heart breaking because of his hidden addictions. Since August he has not really worked and has been going back to some familiar issues. He began spending entire days out of the home with lies about what he is doi...	downdenise	21	530	Oct 23, 2011 by downdenise
	It went well! (Preview) Last night went well...the cake was the best cake I have had in a long time but...that wasn't the best part of the night! It was so nice to share my H.'s sobriety w/ him & all his AA friends. Some members even came just for the occasion. One guy said he hardly ever comes on Fri. but he wanted to be there for...	Hoot Nanny	3	597	Oct 23, 2011 by pineapple
	wishing john a speedy recovery (Preview) I would like to wish John a speedy recovery from his recent accident on a ladder. He has broken bones. I hope you will all join me in praying he is on the mend really soon. Orchidlover(aka Maresie)	orchidlover	4	549	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Help for going about quitting without AA (Preview) Hi, i was just wondering if yous could help me. My dad has been an alcoholic for many many decades and he's wanting to quit drinking. He won't go to AA as he doesn't feel he's that bad. I know i can't make him so i was wondering how i could help him along the way, as i know it will be really hard for him, especiall...	Mcjprr	18	782	Oct 22, 2011 by White Rabbit
	vent (Preview) I'm not looking for any answers here, I don't think there are any. But I have to get this out and since I have no one to talk to, I come here. A has been back to drinking every day/all day for a while now. I hate it but I've come to accept it it. Most of the time. At 10 this morning I knocked on his door. When he answe...	pineapple	13	541	Oct 22, 2011 by Christy
	New and Confused (Preview) Hi! I am new here and right now I guess I'm pretty confused. The last week has been crazy to say the least. I have lived with my fiance for just over a year. It was shortly after he moved in that I realized the extent of his drinking. As I'm sure you've all experienced - I got the promises of him attempting to...	Not Alone	14	760	Oct 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	How to stand up for myself? (Preview) With my business partner, things are falling apart quickly and she is with-holding information on an upcoming wedding until the last minute...she does not like that I emailed her an amends for not telling her up front two years ago a couple of things, and says I should not have emailed her an amends. O...	youfoundme	16	692	Oct 22, 2011 by Doozy
	New to Alanon, my story (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been reading the posts for about a week now, and really enjoying learning from you all. I went to my first alanon meeting on Tuesday and I'm embarrassed that I cried the way I did. They were super nice, but I don't even know how to talk about my situation without crying. My husband is an al...	GreenerGrass	15	640	Oct 22, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hope and Faith :) (Preview) I had a lovely smile this AM when I heard that dang rust bucket of a truck start up .. lol. I'm really happy for my AH we talked about chapters closing last night and this is another closed chapter in the DUI saga. It's funny, because now I'm thinking oh boy .. LOL .. I'm going to have to put my program talk wh...	Pushka	8	871	Oct 22, 2011 by flopadopilus
	upcoming weekend (Preview) Hi guys Thanks for putting up with me. AFter all that about going fishing this weekend or not..... he has not made any decision. Ithought it was all decided. I think I got what you guys were saying... just forget about the smoking bit. If I love him that I love both of them. Learn to live with it in my lif...	Lindaoakford	8	411	Oct 22, 2011 by Cupcake
	Mr. Recovery got a DUI (Preview) AH was attending AA or counseling every night since Thanksgiving, but we knew two or three weeks ago he started drinking again, and I suspected in the last week or so he was driving home from work drunk and going to his meetings drunk. He finally got caught Monday night- thank God before he hurt someone...	pamommy	16	1040	Oct 22, 2011 by pamommy
	Another bad day......just need to vent (Preview) This is going to be long.... Well I woke up in a good mood, was studying for my test. My AH son calls me and tell sme not to visit my AH cause he was going to. In county visitation is only mon-wed and only one visit per day. Well i asked him to wait til I got out of class at 9 and we can visit together. Well he didnt wa...	jmanning	12	561	Oct 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	facing my spouse in about 45 mins (Preview) We've been separated for about 14 months. He wants to know where we stand and what needs to be done to get us back "on track" or on a trial living under the same roof. We've been to this point before many times. I'm trying to not get anxious about the conversation. I know what he wants or at le...	amills4294	19	617	Oct 21, 2011 by Pushka
	its hard to communicate with a BPD person (Preview) as you know my mum and me have difficult communication- and i am finding this same prblem- even my son is saying- why does she keep doing this? she doesnt phone to ask to meet me- or she will phone once- i dont make it to the phone- and then the nxt thing i know she is on my doort step knocking at my door- at a tim...	rosielee	6	840	Oct 21, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Update and classic slip... oh, he'll change! (Preview) Well, I haven't created my own post here in quite a while. So I guess I'll make up for it with a post that's super long! Hah! Overall, I think I'm doing really well and making a lot of progress in my own growth towards a really happy, healthy future. I feel much more relaxed, more peace of mind and confidence...	Doozy	14	524	Oct 21, 2011 by glad lee
	My anti-gratitude list (Preview) I know I should be writing a gratitude list. But, sometimes I have to vent off the anti-gratitude to make room for the gratitude. What I hate: I hate when my anger and pain crashes over me like a wave and brings me to my knees. I hate when I need to hide in the bathroom and cry until the moment passes. I hate tha...	Very Very Tired	14	2038	Oct 21, 2011 by 1911A1
	Positive thinking (Preview) I am trying to be positive and gentle with myself these last two weeks as it has been both my anniversary and my birthday. My husband and I haven't been doing all that well since I blew up and told him he had to leave. I have since started going to AlAnon and have apologized but he's having a hard time deali...	Cupcake	10	666	Oct 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	3 steps forward 4 steps back?? (Preview) OK, I've learned a lot in the past couple of months. I've got a long way to go. I've shared my turmoils in my marriage. The other day I told my husband I could not be the wife HE wanted me to be, be the best mother I can be and take care of me all at the same time. I just don't have the energy. When he gets hurt he...	amills4294	4	542	Oct 21, 2011 by nyc018
	nightmares (Preview) Anyone believe that dreams and nightmares are our subconscious talking to us??? It may not sound like an Al Anon post, but it is in so much as what we are processing in our minds and how we 'think' things. I noticed a dream post the other day that was very positive. I have always had nightmares. Terrify...	Lindaoakford	7	686	Oct 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Turns out (Preview) So thankful I found this board. So disappointed to find out that while I thought my AH had not been drinking whiskey and only the occasional glass of wine it turns out he's been drinking this whole time. I know that I can't change it, can't cure it can't control it. I know that I have to let go of it. I know tha...	Jackie11	13	688	Oct 21, 2011 by Jackie11
	I ended our unhealthy friendship...it is bitter sweet. (Preview) I have been becoming more aware of a friendship that is not supportive to me anymore. I have tried and tried to stay in it but no longer can stand the blindness. Her and I would go to starbucks coffee together and she would douse me with her problems and I had no room for me at all. Her husband is breakin...	daisy31	4	1422	Oct 21, 2011 by Pushka
	D day is tomorrow .. (Preview) It's Driving Day tomorrow woo hoo. Actually I have a LOT of relief going on right now. I no longer am responsible for driving my AH to and from places. I feel so free. I am chuckling a little because I just found out that I still have one more pick up time tonight. I think AH is having a little harder time...	Pushka	5	555	Oct 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	update - long post as per usual for me (Preview) I really appreciate those of you who follow my goings on... thankyou. I don't always agree but I do listen and try to open my mind to all the input. This morning I woke up with feelings of intense anger. I was yelling and arguing with him in my head. He was sound asleep next to me..... snug as a bug etc. I ju...	Lindaoakford	29	776	Oct 21, 2011 by kris10
	Hello New Guest (Preview) Hello, I just assumed I should introduce myself and state my reason for being here. I made the classic girl's mistake. I was raised by an alcholic father and then I married a man just like my daddy. I have been married to hm for 15 years and with him for 17. We do not have children together but he has been the f...	soulhavoc	10	804	Oct 20, 2011 by flopadopilus
	one visit ended now .. second on sunday .. ugh .. one day at a time .. (is all i could handle) (Preview) so i met my x at the park with our daughter for her first visit .. it's hard .. first off i just have to say .. he looks good .. dressed nice .. happier .. and honestly and .. hurtfully speaking, he looks happier than he ever did with me .. yet i still have feelings for him .. it was hard, sad .. yet i was unexpecte...	MeTwo2	4	462	Oct 20, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	So glad to be back (Preview) Boy, I've missed this place! Today is the first time in 10 days it hasn't been raining here. It was pretty bad- flooding, power outages, trees down, road closed, etc. We haven't had internet for all that time and I couldn't get into town. I was starting to feel more than a little down. But the sun is shinin...	pineapple	6	330	Oct 20, 2011 by Jozie
	Need strength .. visits begin tomorrow .. (Preview) my daughter's dad and i begin visitation tomorrow .. I'm sick with the idea of seeing him .. sick because i'm in that frame of mine where if i feel something it should still be .. it would be so much easier if i had absolutely no feelings left for him but i'm powerless over the effects .. it hurts to see him a...	MeTwo2	6	397	Oct 20, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Ive done it......need strength now! (Preview) I asked my partner to leave on Saturday after having such a stressful few weeks, I have been to two f2f meetings and wanted to go to one this morning but my alarm was at the wrong time! When we are arguing he pushed me to the very edge of distress and as soon as he thought I was going to leave he would turn this ar...	Jules1011	14	671	Oct 20, 2011 by rrib
	help (Preview) Hi guys, I am new to this. As a matter of fact I am not sure I am doing this posting correctly. I am married to an alcoholic. I am not sure how often he drinks, or how muh. it varies, sometimes a few bottles (the ones that can fit in your pants), I imagine someitmes less. I guess the amount is irrelevant. It aff...	mackinac	8	614	Oct 20, 2011 by rrib
	To tell or not to tell--thinking things through (Preview) My inlaws will be coming into town for the holidays. They stay for several weeks (not with us--they have a place of their own). I don't know whether I should talk with them about my AH. We are at the point where it feels like AH's disease is increasing exponentially each day. My therapist (specializes i...	Very Very Tired	11	502	Oct 20, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Perfectly Imperfect .. (Preview) I'm grasping the idea that it is ok to be perfectly imperfect and people love me anyway. I might not always say the right thing or do the right thing, I can only try to do the best that I can in any given moment. Sometimes it's all just dumb luck that I come close to saying or doing the right thing .. lol. Som...	Pushka	5	419	Oct 20, 2011 by Jozie
	5 G's of Alanon (Preview) I recently referenced the 5 G's in Alanon responding to a post. For those of you who would like to know where I borrowed them from they are in our literature on PP 122, Hope for Today, May 1st reading. The reading references they were originally published in an out of print Forum magazine volume 4 PP 14...	tommyecat	8	4076	Oct 20, 2011 by Jozie
	My alcoholic mom (Preview) Well just got off the phone with my mom. She is the alcoholic in denial in my life and has been one most of my life. Her mom died at 39 from alcohol and painkillers - her body just wasted away. My mom has never admitted to that. She lied to us about how she died. I ordered the death certificate when I was hav...	amills4294	3	332	Oct 20, 2011 by rosielee
	What happens next? (Preview) Hi all, not looking for advice so much as I'm just looking to vent. First, please understand that I know the seriousness of this situation. A week ago today, my wife got falling down drunk while our kids were at preschool. She somehow managed to drive the 5 miles from our home to the school to pick up the ki...	usedtobeanyer	9	495	Oct 20, 2011 by soulhavoc
	feel awful, this nightmare [ ex RA ] won't leave me alone (Preview) Hey guys, I just need a hug, or comfort, or something. I've been trying to do the right things - exercise, friends, staying busy, etc...but just when I feel a bit better my ex RA comes into the picture and slams me again. This time I got slammed HARD. He found the storage unit after having difficulties...	rara avis	12	593	Oct 20, 2011 by rara avis
	Free to Be Me... & UPDATE.. (Preview) Hi All :0) First a Mini Update... MIL Home & Doing Alot Better.. . & Gram is HOME :) And Back to Put'n around Like only she knows how... So BIG THANK YOU To All of You that Kept us in your Prayers... They have Lifted them all back to "Better" health, and on their way to Recov...	Jozie	4	532	Oct 19, 2011 by hotrod
	A break through? (Preview) I finally got Step 1, and my sponsor and I are going to have a meeting about it in the next few days. I feel pretty good about it. All that said (and you know I have been trying to GET step one for a while now, when I finally surrendered to it, I got it..) I had this dream last night that was really vivid and re...	youfoundme	8	386	Oct 19, 2011 by rrib
	Telling him "I know" (Preview) Yesterday my Abf came home after visting one of his friends from work and going to his parents house. I knew that he was at this person's house and knew that he would be drinking before I even talked to him. When he got home I could tell that he had been drinking and just ignored it. I didnt ask and I didn't bri...	HoofnIt	15	739	Oct 19, 2011 by HoofnIt
	assumptions... (Preview) I am 28 years old. I have piercings and tattoos. I have short (changing from week to week ) rainbow colors in my hair. I ride a hot pink skateboard. I like to wear holy jeans. I prefure my funky glasses over contacts any day. I listen to my music loud. And I drive my car fast. I probably smoke entirely way to ma...	kris10	12	669	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I am just tired.................... (Preview) Well it started out a good day. Spent the day with a friend we went shopping and used coupons for the first time. And I was so proud of what I got for the little money I spent. Then we did lunch and then went to her moms and clipped coupons and talked. I really enjoyed the day. Got home unloaded the car and got li...	jmanning	7	442	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	28 days and finding my feelings and resolve (Preview) Just watched this movie called 28 Days (from 2000, with Sandra Bullock)... I actually didn't mind it so much. Normally these rehab type movies seem so fake. The place she was at in the movie had Equine Therapy and one line stuck out at me. They had to get the horse to lift its back hoof to clean the hoof...	youfoundme	5	529	Oct 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	abandonment issues? (Preview) HI So I have not been travelling real well lately. Gave in and had the heart to heart with my husband this morning. Basically he has laid down the law as I see it and has allowed me the choice to be part of it or not. He is going to increase his camping and fishing and hunting activities, and he is not going to...	Lindaoakford	15	1576	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries (Preview) Ive writen many posts writing about the dilemma I have with my family (mom, etc). Well, I have a pretty big one with my MIL AHs mom. Here's the story: MIL was an RA having been sober 22 years until this July. She relapsed, twice, buckling from the pressure of seeing her sons (my AH) descent from alcoholism...	nyc018	5	551	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	introduction (Preview) Hello all - I was asked to "introduce" myself to the forum as it shows that I'm a "newbie" :). I actually had been on here before and then in haste removed myself and then came back, so, yes I'm new but not that new. Same username. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic (my mom). I'm on m...	amills4294	6	524	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	just talkin' (Preview) I feel like I'm growing. Last year my wife's disease progressed to my bottom. We are currently seperated, my wife lives in a condo that we bought together, I live in the familiy house. In addition to the addiction there were also infidelities by her in our marriage, I am not sure how much was related t...	DadtoCandE	3	508	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	things are a little better already! (Preview) I spent some time w/ my MOM before I got on this computer. She wanted me to help her find my step-father's grave site & I complied. It was a little difficult to find but we found it. This is actually not morbid at all--I actually didn't mind the whole scenario. Things go well w/ her sometimes that I can a...	Hoot Nanny	3	563	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I'm keeping a journal and it's PRIVATE! (Preview) Tonight, I really needed a meeting, and there wasn't one nearby. I wound up driving half an hour to another town, but it was worth it... I heard something I really needed to hear -- "when you compare your rough inside to somebody else's polished outside, you always come out on the bottom". An...	atheos	8	432	Oct 18, 2011 by MDK
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.