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It went well!
(Preview)
Last night went well...the cake was the best cake I have had in a long time but...that wasn't the best part of the night! It was so nice to share my H.'s sobriety w/ him & all his AA friends. Some members even came just for the occasion. One guy said he hardly ever comes on Fri. but he wanted to be there for...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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568
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wishing john a speedy recovery
(Preview)
I would like to wish John a speedy recovery from his recent accident on a ladder. He has broken bones. I hope you will all join me in praying he is on the mend really soon. Orchidlover(aka Maresie)
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orchidlover
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4
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517
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Help for going about quitting without AA
(Preview)
Hi, i was just wondering if yous could help me. My dad has been an alcoholic for many many decades and he's wanting to quit drinking. He won't go to AA as he doesn't feel he's that bad. I know i can't make him so i was wondering how i could help him along the way, as i know it will be really hard for him, especiall...
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Mcjprr
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18
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746
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vent
(Preview)
I'm not looking for any answers here, I don't think there are any. But I have to get this out and since I have no one to talk to, I come here. A has been back to drinking every day/all day for a while now. I hate it but I've come to accept it it. Most of the time. At 10 this morning I knocked on his door. When he answe...
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pineapple
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13
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510
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New and Confused
(Preview)
Hi! I am new here and right now I guess I'm pretty confused. The last week has been crazy to say the least. I have lived with my fiance for just over a year. It was shortly after he moved in that I realized the extent of his drinking. As I'm sure you've all experienced - I got the promises of him attempting to...
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Not Alone
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14
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733
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How to stand up for myself?
(Preview)
With my business partner, things are falling apart quickly and she is with-holding information on an upcoming wedding until the last minute...she does not like that I emailed her an amends for not telling her up front two years ago a couple of things, and says I should not have emailed her an amends. O...
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youfoundme
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16
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660
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New to Alanon, my story
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I've been reading the posts for about a week now, and really enjoying learning from you all. I went to my first alanon meeting on Tuesday and I'm embarrassed that I cried the way I did. They were super nice, but I don't even know how to talk about my situation without crying. My husband is an al...
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GreenerGrass
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15
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609
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Hope and Faith :)
(Preview)
I had a lovely smile this AM when I heard that dang rust bucket of a truck start up .. lol. I'm really happy for my AH we talked about chapters closing last night and this is another closed chapter in the DUI saga. It's funny, because now I'm thinking oh boy .. LOL .. I'm going to have to put my program talk wh...
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Pushka
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8
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812
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upcoming weekend
(Preview)
Hi guys Thanks for putting up with me. AFter all that about going fishing this weekend or not..... he has not made any decision. Ithought it was all decided. I think I got what you guys were saying... just forget about the smoking bit. If I love him that I love both of them. Learn to live with it in my lif...
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Lindaoakford
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8
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382
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Mr. Recovery got a DUI
(Preview)
AH was attending AA or counseling every night since Thanksgiving, but we knew two or three weeks ago he started drinking again, and I suspected in the last week or so he was driving home from work drunk and going to his meetings drunk. He finally got caught Monday night- thank God before he hurt someone...
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pamommy
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16
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1001
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Another bad day......just need to vent
(Preview)
This is going to be long.... Well I woke up in a good mood, was studying for my test. My AH son calls me and tell sme not to visit my AH cause he was going to. In county visitation is only mon-wed and only one visit per day. Well i asked him to wait til I got out of class at 9 and we can visit together. Well he didnt wa...
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jmanning
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12
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526
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facing my spouse in about 45 mins
(Preview)
We've been separated for about 14 months. He wants to know where we stand and what needs to be done to get us back "on track" or on a trial living under the same roof. We've been to this point before many times. I'm trying to not get anxious about the conversation. I know what he wants or at le...
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amills4294
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19
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588
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its hard to communicate with a BPD person
(Preview)
as you know my mum and me have difficult communication- and i am finding this same prblem- even my son is saying- why does she keep doing this? she doesnt phone to ask to meet me- or she will phone once- i dont make it to the phone- and then the nxt thing i know she is on my doort step knocking at my door- at a tim...
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rosielee
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6
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808
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Update and classic slip... oh, he'll change!
(Preview)
Well, I haven't created my own post here in quite a while. So I guess I'll make up for it with a post that's super long! Hah! Overall, I think I'm doing really well and making a lot of progress in my own growth towards a really happy, healthy future. I feel much more relaxed, more peace of mind and confidence...
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Doozy
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14
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495
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My anti-gratitude list
(Preview)
I know I should be writing a gratitude list. But, sometimes I have to vent off the anti-gratitude to make room for the gratitude. What I hate: I hate when my anger and pain crashes over me like a wave and brings me to my knees. I hate when I need to hide in the bathroom and cry until the moment passes. I hate tha...
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Very Very Tired
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14
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1918
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Positive thinking
(Preview)
I am trying to be positive and gentle with myself these last two weeks as it has been both my anniversary and my birthday. My husband and I haven't been doing all that well since I blew up and told him he had to leave. I have since started going to AlAnon and have apologized but he's having a hard time deali...
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Cupcake
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10
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632
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3 steps forward 4 steps back??
(Preview)
OK, I've learned a lot in the past couple of months. I've got a long way to go. I've shared my turmoils in my marriage. The other day I told my husband I could not be the wife HE wanted me to be, be the best mother I can be and take care of me all at the same time. I just don't have the energy. When he gets hurt he...
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amills4294
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4
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507
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nightmares
(Preview)
Anyone believe that dreams and nightmares are our subconscious talking to us??? It may not sound like an Al Anon post, but it is in so much as what we are processing in our minds and how we 'think' things. I noticed a dream post the other day that was very positive. I have always had nightmares. Terrify...
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Lindaoakford
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7
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653
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Turns out
(Preview)
So thankful I found this board. So disappointed to find out that while I thought my AH had not been drinking whiskey and only the occasional glass of wine it turns out he's been drinking this whole time. I know that I can't change it, can't cure it can't control it. I know that I have to let go of it. I know tha...
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Jackie11
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13
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659
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I ended our unhealthy friendship...it is bitter sweet.
(Preview)
I have been becoming more aware of a friendship that is not supportive to me anymore. I have tried and tried to stay in it but no longer can stand the blindness. Her and I would go to starbucks coffee together and she would douse me with her problems and I had no room for me at all. Her husband is breakin...
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daisy31
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4
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1392
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D day is tomorrow ..
(Preview)
It's Driving Day tomorrow woo hoo. Actually I have a LOT of relief going on right now. I no longer am responsible for driving my AH to and from places. I feel so free. I am chuckling a little because I just found out that I still have one more pick up time tonight. I think AH is having a little harder time...
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Pushka
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5
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519
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update - long post as per usual for me
(Preview)
I really appreciate those of you who follow my goings on... thankyou. I don't always agree but I do listen and try to open my mind to all the input. This morning I woke up with feelings of intense anger. I was yelling and arguing with him in my head. He was sound asleep next to me..... snug as a bug etc. I ju...
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Lindaoakford
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29
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748
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Hello New Guest
(Preview)
Hello, I just assumed I should introduce myself and state my reason for being here. I made the classic girl's mistake. I was raised by an alcholic father and then I married a man just like my daddy. I have been married to hm for 15 years and with him for 17. We do not have children together but he has been the f...
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soulhavoc
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10
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769
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one visit ended now .. second on sunday .. ugh .. one day at a time .. (is all i could handle)
(Preview)
so i met my x at the park with our daughter for her first visit .. it's hard .. first off i just have to say .. he looks good .. dressed nice .. happier .. and honestly and .. hurtfully speaking, he looks happier than he ever did with me .. yet i still have feelings for him .. it was hard, sad .. yet i was unexpecte...
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MeTwo2
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4
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431
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So glad to be back
(Preview)
Boy, I've missed this place! Today is the first time in 10 days it hasn't been raining here. It was pretty bad- flooding, power outages, trees down, road closed, etc. We haven't had internet for all that time and I couldn't get into town. I was starting to feel more than a little down. But the sun is shinin...
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pineapple
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6
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302
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Need strength .. visits begin tomorrow ..
(Preview)
my daughter's dad and i begin visitation tomorrow .. I'm sick with the idea of seeing him .. sick because i'm in that frame of mine where if i feel something it should still be .. it would be so much easier if i had absolutely no feelings left for him but i'm powerless over the effects .. it hurts to see him a...
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MeTwo2
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6
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369
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Ive done it......need strength now!
(Preview)
I asked my partner to leave on Saturday after having such a stressful few weeks, I have been to two f2f meetings and wanted to go to one this morning but my alarm was at the wrong time! When we are arguing he pushed me to the very edge of distress and as soon as he thought I was going to leave he would turn this ar...
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Jules1011
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14
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643
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help
(Preview)
Hi guys, I am new to this. As a matter of fact I am not sure I am doing this posting correctly. I am married to an alcoholic. I am not sure how often he drinks, or how muh. it varies, sometimes a few bottles (the ones that can fit in your pants), I imagine someitmes less. I guess the amount is irrelevant. It aff...
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mackinac
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8
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584
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To tell or not to tell--thinking things through
(Preview)
My inlaws will be coming into town for the holidays. They stay for several weeks (not with us--they have a place of their own). I don't know whether I should talk with them about my AH. We are at the point where it feels like AH's disease is increasing exponentially each day. My therapist (specializes i...
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Very Very Tired
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11
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474
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Perfectly Imperfect ..
(Preview)
I'm grasping the idea that it is ok to be perfectly imperfect and people love me anyway. I might not always say the right thing or do the right thing, I can only try to do the best that I can in any given moment. Sometimes it's all just dumb luck that I come close to saying or doing the right thing .. lol. Som...
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Pushka
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5
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389
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5 G's of Alanon
(Preview)
I recently referenced the 5 G's in Alanon responding to a post. For those of you who would like to know where I borrowed them from they are in our literature on PP 122, Hope for Today, May 1st reading. The reading references they were originally published in an out of print Forum magazine volume 4 PP 14...
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tommyecat
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8
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3738
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My alcoholic mom
(Preview)
Well just got off the phone with my mom. She is the alcoholic in denial in my life and has been one most of my life. Her mom died at 39 from alcohol and painkillers - her body just wasted away. My mom has never admitted to that. She lied to us about how she died. I ordered the death certificate when I was hav...
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amills4294
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3
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304
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What happens next?
(Preview)
Hi all, not looking for advice so much as I'm just looking to vent. First, please understand that I know the seriousness of this situation. A week ago today, my wife got falling down drunk while our kids were at preschool. She somehow managed to drive the 5 miles from our home to the school to pick up the ki...
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usedtobeanyer
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9
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466
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feel awful, this nightmare [ ex RA ] won't leave me alone
(Preview)
Hey guys, I just need a hug, or comfort, or something. I've been trying to do the right things - exercise, friends, staying busy, etc...but just when I feel a bit better my ex RA comes into the picture and slams me again. This time I got slammed HARD. He found the storage unit after having difficulties...
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rara avis
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12
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567
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Free to Be Me... & UPDATE..
(Preview)
Hi All :0) First a Mini Update... MIL Home & Doing Alot Better.. . & Gram is HOME :) And Back to Put'n around Like only she knows how... So BIG THANK YOU To All of You that Kept us in your Prayers... They have Lifted them all back to "Better" health, and on their way to Recov...
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Jozie
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4
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506
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A break through?
(Preview)
I finally got Step 1, and my sponsor and I are going to have a meeting about it in the next few days. I feel pretty good about it. All that said (and you know I have been trying to *GET* step one for a while now, when I finally surrendered to it, I got it..) I had this dream last night that was really vivid and re...
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youfoundme
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8
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358
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Telling him "I know"
(Preview)
Yesterday my Abf came home after visting one of his friends from work and going to his parents house. I knew that he was at this person's house and knew that he would be drinking before I even talked to him. When he got home I could tell that he had been drinking and just ignored it. I didnt ask and I didn't bri...
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HoofnIt
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15
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709
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assumptions...
(Preview)
I am 28 years old. I have piercings and tattoos. I have short (changing from week to week ) rainbow colors in my hair. I ride a hot pink skateboard. I like to wear holy jeans. I prefure my funky glasses over contacts any day. I listen to my music loud. And I drive my car fast. I probably smoke entirely way to ma...
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kris10
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12
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639
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I am just tired....................
(Preview)
Well it started out a good day. Spent the day with a friend we went shopping and used coupons for the first time. And I was so proud of what I got for the little money I spent. Then we did lunch and then went to her moms and clipped coupons and talked. I really enjoyed the day. Got home unloaded the car and got li...
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jmanning
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7
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411
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28 days and finding my feelings and resolve
(Preview)
Just watched this movie called 28 Days (from 2000, with Sandra Bullock)... I actually didn't mind it so much. Normally these rehab type movies seem so fake. The place she was at in the movie had Equine Therapy and one line stuck out at me. They had to get the horse to lift its back hoof to clean the hoof...
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youfoundme
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5
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495
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abandonment issues?
(Preview)
HI So I have not been travelling real well lately. Gave in and had the heart to heart with my husband this morning. Basically he has laid down the law as I see it and has allowed me the choice to be part of it or not. He is going to increase his camping and fishing and hunting activities, and he is not going to...
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Lindaoakford
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15
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1533
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Boundaries
(Preview)
Ive writen many posts writing about the dilemma I have with my family (mom, etc). Well, I have a pretty big one with my MIL AHs mom. Here's the story: MIL was an RA having been sober 22 years until this July. She relapsed, twice, buckling from the pressure of seeing her sons (my AH) descent from alcoholism...
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nyc018
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5
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522
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introduction
(Preview)
Hello all - I was asked to "introduce" myself to the forum as it shows that I'm a "newbie" :). I actually had been on here before and then in haste removed myself and then came back, so, yes I'm new but not that new. Same username. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic (my mom). I'm on m...
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amills4294
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6
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496
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just talkin'
(Preview)
I feel like I'm growing. Last year my wife's disease progressed to my bottom. We are currently seperated, my wife lives in a condo that we bought together, I live in the familiy house. In addition to the addiction there were also infidelities by her in our marriage, I am not sure how much was related t...
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DadtoCandE
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3
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482
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things are a little better already!
(Preview)
I spent some time w/ my MOM before I got on this computer. She wanted me to help her find my step-father's grave site & I complied. It was a little difficult to find but we found it. This is actually not morbid at all--I actually didn't mind the whole scenario. Things go well w/ her sometimes that I can a...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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533
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I'm keeping a journal and it's PRIVATE!
(Preview)
Tonight, I really needed a meeting, and there wasn't one nearby. I wound up driving half an hour to another town, but it was worth it... I heard something I really needed to hear -- "when you compare your rough inside to somebody else's polished outside, you always come out on the bottom". An...
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atheos
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8
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400
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what do I do w/ an impatient mother?
(Preview)
Many many times I have mentioned my MOM. I love her I do but she can drive me up the wall! On Sat. I wanted to spend time w/ a friend who I rarely get to spend time at her home. I am mentioning this now because I couldn't get on here later on Sat. Anyhow, I was alerted by my mom via my H that I was supposed to go out w/ h...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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961
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Intro. Hoping for help
(Preview)
I don't know where to begin. Should I start with when my brother was 17 and started drinking and I knew, I 'xxxx' knew he had this problem even when I was 14? Well, he's 30 something now and it's the same old story. He gets drunk, he has DUIs, he does drugs. I walk around with a knot in my stomach because I know...
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Sarah_Winters
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7
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457
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Re-emerging
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, It's been some time since I've come to this site. I miss it. Lately it seems I can barely find time to think. The baby is teething, still nursing, and I am still working full-time while my AH has been unemployed for 1 1/2 yrs. I have hardly made it to meetings. My "recovering"...
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KLotus
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5
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515
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reacting to others that "trigger" fear in me
(Preview)
I will bring this up at alanon face to face - I haven't found a sponsor yet. But I'm having a terrible time with being triggered by others. I know I'm responsible for how I react but it's really becoming overwhelming. My spouse and I have been separated for 14 months and have discussed having a trial ba...
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amills4294
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6
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366
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3 steps forward 2 steps back
(Preview)
I've been reading, and reading, going back through the many pages of posting. My schedule is so crazy that finding a face to face meeting just doesn't seem possible at this time, but I keep checking to see if I can find one that I could go to. I'm starting to see a pattern, every time I speak about the positi...
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Jackie11
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6
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390
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So sad today and hurting!
(Preview)
I am learning to enjoy the quiet times, and trying to think no news is good news, that was the case this last week, our son went out Tuesday and when I phoned him about him coming home for dinner he was already drunk, around 5pm, of course he said he wasn't, as they do, he usually doesn,'t come home now after...
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Katy
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8
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410
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Don't know how to take care of me!
(Preview)
One of the things everyone keeps saying is "take care of yourself." After 28 years of living with an abusive AH, and being so focused on keeping him happy and our life stable...I have realized that I am SO disconnected from my own needs that when someone says "take care of yourself&quo...
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rehprof
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10
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527
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HELP NEEDED - BF has just left me and son 3 days after trying to stop drinking.
(Preview)
Can someone help me understand what is happening with my boyfriend? He is a severe alcoholic (1-2 cases a day. Around the clock for the first 2 weeks of the month). Yesterday was day 3 of his not drinking. It was pleasant, he seemed fine except a few shakes here and there. Today he started out very snappy....
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sickgirl
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10
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482
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my mum phoned up....and i answered it!!
(Preview)
this is the run down- my mum has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits- i committed the cardinal sin of forgetting her birthday.she phone up to tell me i had forgotten- but as narcissists do- she put loads of emotional baggage onto me and it was the tip of the iceberg as several time...
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rosielee
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6
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332
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1st time here. Looking for guidance.
(Preview)
Hi everyone i'm new here and have been reading through the post. I am 26 and engaged to an alcoholic. We have been together for a year and 8 months. He got his 3rd dui back in April while driving my truck which has caused me some problems with my insurance. He has admitted that he has a problem and has been goi...
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HoofnIt
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15
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612
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ESH on the adult thing to do?
(Preview)
Welllll....my ex RA has been very silent, but left messages on my phone last night. He wants to meet in a neutral place, because he feels he 'hasn't been heard.' He said if I'd just told him he was going to lose me, instead of leaving a note and running, he would have shaped up. He also said I was playing a dan...
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rara avis
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18
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571
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Stress
(Preview)
I started going to a naturopath many months ago for multiple things. My MD couldn't fix the issues and most were in my pelvis. My naturopath tells me that the stress from relationship issues are stored in the pelvis. It has finally caught up with me. In the last two weeks, I have had hip pain. I starte...
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clep
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3
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421
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Blessings come in small little packages!
(Preview)
I went to a ladies meet and greet tonight organized by a local church. Just ladies getting together for fun. I got to be around people who are similar to me and and seemed to like me for me. It was reinforced to me that I am secure, it was the alcoholism that made me seem so insecure... I even said the closing p...
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glad
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3
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396
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Better day ..
(Preview)
So today has been a much better day than yesterday was, my AH and I had a really great evening. He slept which I am more than ok with, he works his butt off every day of the week. Before he napped he was out bbqing in the rain, God love him, he's got more moxie than I do at times. I am looking forward to tomorro...
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Pushka
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8
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347
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