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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Stress
Post Info TOPIC: Stress
clep


Senior Member

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Posts: 330
Date:
Stress
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I started going to a naturopath many months ago for multiple things.  My MD couldn't fix the issues and most were in my pelvis.  My naturopath tells me that the stress from relationship issues are stored in the pelvis.  It has finally caught up with me.

In the last two weeks, I have had hip pain.  I started with a chiropractor on the weekend.  My hip issues are due to the bones being locked in my pelvic area.  

I went on the weekend as well to the psychologist that has been working with my A and I until I said I was not going to go anymore.  No sense in spending money going to her until my A is in recovery, not just dry.  She agrees.  We had a talk when I was there and she did say that although I am doing great managing my stress and working my program, the stress will remain until my A is doing the same.  I was feeling frustrated lately and kind of like a failure that even with all I am doing in the way of self care, not controlling the situation and living a program my health is declining along with the situation between my A and I.

She did say that I cannot do it alone and even with my program, all the self care in the world and aid from health professionals, the stress will never go away unless I remove the core of the stress.

This is really a wake up call.  



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Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

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Hugs Clep,

Just wanted to send you lots of love and support, some days are better than others and we all have those moments of enough is enough.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Debilyn


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wow sounds like she is saying you cannot get better unless he does??? So we cannot be happy unless he is? Not my experience at all.

Our lives are not dependant on the A,nor is our stress dependant on the A. That is the whole poing of Al Anon.

Life is stressful period, there is good as well as bad stress.

I believe it is more how we respond to the stressor. not that we have to get rid of it for petes sake.

So that is like saying whatever causes us stress, we need to get rid of it. Ok my bills stress me, ok i will just not pay them.

OH my planning my wedding is stressful so ok I won't have one.

My husband is drivin me nuts, I will just get rid of him???

hmmm somethings not right in Denver. lol HUGS, debilyn



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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clep


Senior Member

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Posts: 330
Date:
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That's not what she way saying at all.

She was saying that we need to look after ourselves.  If I am in the middle of a war, no matter how hard I try to dodge the shrapnel flying all around I am going to get hit by some and it is not going to be pleasant.

Yes she is saying that if he is not willing to do anything to better his situation that does reflect on my life, it might be time to reasess the situation.

This isn't about my husband driving me nuts.  That statement really minimizes the insanity that surrounds an A and their behavior.  I am not "just not handling it well".  

What I am dealing with, I could be doing that single and not be carrying a 160 lb infant on my back at the same time.

What she is saying, is that it is apparent that he does not have an interest in getting better, and how long is that going to be okay with me.  How long am I okay with staying in a very stressful situation.  I do have choices and it might be time to exercise them.  I don't have any interest in looking back ten years from now on my life and thinking "I have lived like this for ten years and nothing ever got better....but I love him even though he would treat me like crap if I didn't set one boundary after another".  

I am not okay with putting myself in insane situations that are stressful just so I can accomodate an A.  Self care means different things to everyone.  Maybe you are okay with things that I am not, and that is up to you, but I certainly wouldn't send a message such as this to anyone.

I hope your day gets better.



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